‘COSTAMBAR Venny's Maret Catamaran Beach Bar El Carey Costambar Library Pedro's Bar & Restaurant La Otra Sharky's Sam's @ Loase Resort Vik’s Place PUERTO PLATA Big Lee's Beach Bar UHM (ols) pe TecetBor Supermercado Jose Luis PUG Honey cronae Meeting Place What To Do This Month LAS ROCAS Definitely Not The News Loves oc The Rainy Day Page Page 6 - Money for sex? “OFRES| Page 8 - We did our fsitin’ research! Ocean World Marina Useful Telephone Numbers | 5o8e | picture perfect! Classified Ads Page 13 - Say what mate? And Lots More Fun Stuff! _| Page 17 - The new sexting! ET Laughter, leas to) REE CB Laughing WETICECostambar Monthly page 2 da Wee om le) a Los Tres Cocos in Las Rocas invites you to try something different. Call 809-993-4503 for details. Fine dining at it’s best! At The Catamaran on Costambar Beach you'll find great food at great prices enjoyed with a million dollar view! Enjoy a relaxing breakfast on the beach. Every day they have Power Hour with 3X1 cuba libres from 6-7pm. Their food never disappoints! WIFI ZONE!!! The Jolly Lobster Seafood Lounge is available for dining until 9:30pm with reservations only. Please reserve by 6pm! Big Lee’s Beach Bar on the Malecon has fantastic food at affordable prices! Amazing Fish & Chips, big juicy burgers and yummy sandwiches. Kitchen now open 9:30pm to 11:00pm. Live Music ever Friday from 4pm - ‘7pm! January 8th & 22nd is Ken & Monalissa and on January 15th & 29th is Denver! Karaoke from 8pm to midnight on January 16th & 30th! Kevin & Patricia invite you to El Carey Restaurant - where you can enjoy the beach your way!! Every day 2 cuba/santo libres for RDS$100 from 5-7pm. Lobster empanadas are back! The best burger in town, Kevin’s homemade Mamajuana and fresh made Pina Coladas! Pedro’s Bar & Restaurant has a full menu including Pedro’s Famous Cordon Bleu. Fridays 4-6pm they have cocktail specials. WIFI Zone! Tropical Bar on the Malecon has over 20 types of Belgian beer and 8 sports channels! They serve a variety of food and tapas and every Friday have karaoke - including Dutch songs! Wednesdays get 3 crepes for RD$100 with real Belgian sugar & syrup. Daiquiris on special every Thursday - buy 2 get the 3rd one free! Fresh new meal specials all the time - pass by and check them out! And relax in comfy new lounge furniture! Over 30 different types of beer for you to try! Try the famous Belgian Bicky Burger!!! La Otra has darts every Sunday night! Roast chickens every day! They would love to host your next event - from baptism to bachelor parties to weddings. Sharky’s Food & Drink has something for you to enjoy every day but Monday. Tuesday to Saturday from 4:30-7:30pm they have Happy Hour with 2X1 Brugal Anejo drinks. Tuesdays they have 7 different types of Mojitos for you to try at only RDS150 each! Wednesdays are 10% off Wing Night! Thursdays are 10% off Tequila and Tex Mex food! Fridays they have Live Music and Saturdays it’s Friends & Family night! On Sunday they NFL Live on 3 TVs!! Sam’s Bar & Grill at Loase Resort invites you to stop by for Leslie’s great food - fish & chips, fajitas, curry & more! Vik’s Place is the first bar in and last bar out! They are open Monday to Friday from 5pm. The Meeting Place has started their winter program. January 10 is films about the DR. January 13 is the film ‘The Wild Thing’. January 20 is a talk on the cruise ships in Amber Cove. January 27 is a talk on voluntary tourism in the DR. All events start at 3pm. Brit Fridays start January 8 - tea, biscuits and Downton Abbey! Toar-5pm onze ‘am-5pm am-4prr am-3prr oan-Semm Samp Tan. ane Carnval Victory Camival Splendor Carnival Conquest Carnival Breeze Costa belioes Carnival valor Eurodam Gucen Mary Tamnval Sunshine Tors Delos “ane ian Tate iCostambar Monthly page 3 El Catamaran On the Beach in Costambar| ENJOY THE Tr iy GUACAMOLE, TEQUILA! SB NCM eon NEW YEAR! Buc) oLer-LabetemdeTowY-UatTc) Sec B OU 809-210-7606 so long now I ma’ peeproe mtv CEN THERE. DONE THAT, THEN, BEEN THERE SEVERAL eC ntaacs WORE TIME, BECAUSE APPARENTLY J NEVER LEARN! ao WE HAVE SERIOUS BUYERS COSTAMBAR Real Estate _ !NQUIRING DAILY ABOUT Specialist for the Amber Coast PROPERTIES IN COSTAMBAR. YOUR PROPERTY COULD BE THEIR CHOICE!! Call 829-898-0607 to list your property www.costambar-realestate.com info@costambar-realestate.com COSTAMBAR Construction _, Call 829-898-0607 Email klaasdomrep@gmail.comCostambar Monthly page 4 PEDROS 2c, 10:30am-9pm, BAR & RESTAURANT Closed Sundays 809-970-7786 Ira Kaplan, hadn't returned to the old neighbourhood since he went off to fight in Vietnam. During a business trip to New York he visits his old neighbourhood on Kotler Avenue in the Bronx. Everything has changed over the years. Where once there was Edelstein's Delicatessen, there is now a McDonald's; where Fleischman's Dry Cleaning (One-Hour Martinizing) used to be, a Korean nail galon and spa now is; where Ginsberg's Department Store was, there is now a Gap. Nothing is the same, except for the narrow storefront of Klonsky's Shoe Repair, which, dimly lit as ever, is still in business. Ag Kaplan passes the shop, he recalls (such are the quirks of memory that he does not know how) that just before he was drafted to go off to Vietnam, he had left a pair of shoes with Mr. Klonsky that he never bothered to pick up. Could they, he wonders, possibly still be there? A small bell tinkles as he enters the dark shop. Mr. Klonsky, who seemed old 40 years ago, shuffles out from the back. He is hunched over, wearing a leather apron, one eye all but closed. "Excuse me, Mr. Klonsky,” Kaplan says, "but I used to live in this neighbourhood, and 40 years ago I left a pair of shoes with you for repair that I never picked up. Is there any chance you might still have them?" Klonsky stares at him and, in his strong Eastern European accent, asks, "Vas dey black vingtips?” “They were indeed" Kaplan only now recall. “And you vanted a halv sole, mit rubber heels?" "Yes," says Kaplan. "That's exactly what I wanted” "And you vanted taps on the heels only?" "Yes, yes," says Kaplan. "Amazing! Do you still have them?" Mr. Klonsky looks up at him, his good eye asquint, and says, "Dey'll be ready Vendsday” Calle Juan Bosch #60, Puerto Plata Info@MeetingPlacePuertoPlata.com —, OPEN S33 The Mavting Place —“sze"rcr* Earlier when PUEHIO PLATA'S INTERNATIONAL CENTER cruise ships are in port ATE, ‘A PREVIEW OF FEBRUARY EVENTS ISUNDAY January 1oth 3 pm: Films about the DR from the cinema Program at the University of Nebraska; a special display of educational toys made by local kids, and a surprise event that you will not want to miss. Contact us for details WEDNESDAY January 13th, 3 pm: The film Wild Things, “a brilliant collection of delicious and unsettling stories from Argentina, very black-comedies satirsing its corruption, cynicism and complacency.” WEDNESDAY January 20th, 3 pm: The Cruise Ships in lAmber Cove. Is the disappointment many express justified? IF so, is Carnival to be blamed, or the lack of preparation by authorities here? Or are expectations unrealistic? Frances Boyiston, who has surveyed cruise ship passengers, will chair a discussion by key actors led by Or. Jose Natalio Redondo, who has represented Puerto Plata in meetings with Carnival. WEDNESDAY January 27th, 3 pm: Timothy Kiefer on Voluntary Tourism in the DR. Tim has worked with the Peace Corps and development institutions in the private sector and served as a consultant for the Ministry of Industry and Commerce. He designs and facilitates overseas leducational programs for US universities He is Supervising land Quality Control Officer for the Cibao Region of Alerta Loven, a project funded by USAID and implemented by lEntrena SAL, to reduce youth violence and delinquency. NEW FOR 2016! BRIT FRIDAYS (3-5 PM) Join us for tea, biscuits and (the final season of) Downton Abbey. Starts January 8 CHECK OUT OUR WEBSITE FOR MORE DETAILS www.MeetingPlacePuertoPlata.com 829-455-6110 A New Year's Resolution era NUR ake acl and out the otherCostambar Monthly page 5 SUNDAY NIGHTS DARTS TOURNAMENT BRAND NEW BOARD!! EVERY DAY! ROASTED CHICKEN SPECIAL! WE WISH YOU A HAPPY 2016! Available for All 809-970-7617 Your spey E Events! 829-770-0661 eR edit) tells you that you're right, that's called sarcasm. Los Tres Cocos RESTAURANT a | INTERNATIONAL GOURMET, CUISINE & AUSTRIAN SPECIALTIES. Tego) 970-7627 (e808 993-2503, Las Rocas Cofesi, Mares CerradoCostambar Monthly page 6 PGP E/ Carey RO WELCOME KEVIN & PATRICIA’S EL CAREY Where you can enjoy the beach your way! EL CAREY WISHES 6 EVERYONE (i) Calle Reina Isabel, Costambar, Puerto Plata Spanish 809-918-1448 English 809-924-5233 Qrropicaarror © tripadvisor ON THE MALECON, CASETA #3, PUERTO PLATA OPEN FROM 12PM. CLOSED TUESDAYS. Bob, a middle-aged Canadian tourist on his first time in Lincoln, Nebraska, locates the red light district and enters a large brothel. ‘The madam asks him to be seated and sends over a young lady to entertain the client. They sit and talk, frolic a little, giggle a bit, drink a bit, and she site on his lap, He whispers in her ear and she gasps and runs away! Seeing this, the madam sends over a more experienced lady to entertain the gentleman. They sit and talk, frolic a little, giggle a bit, drink a bit, and she sits on his lap. He whispers in her ear and she screams, No!" and walks quickly away! ‘The madam is curprised that this ordinary looking man has asked for something so outrageous that her two girls will have nothing to do with it. She decides that only her most experienced lady, Lola, will do, Lola looks a bit tired, but she has never said no and it doesn’t seem likely that anything would surprise her. So the madam sends her over to Bob. They sit and talk, frolic a little, giggle a bit, drink a bit, and she sits on his lap. He whispers in her ear and she screams, "NO WAY, BUDDY!" smacks him as hard as she can and literally runs away! Madam is by now absolutely intrigued, having seen nothing like this in all her years of operating a brothel. She hasn't done the bedroom work herself for a long time, but she did it for many ‘years before she got into management. She's sure she has said yes at one time or another to everything a man could possibly ask for. The challenge is irresistible. She just has to find out what this man has wanted that has made her girls so angry. And she sees a chance she can't pass up to show off to her employees how good she was at what they do. So she goes over to Bob and says that she's the best, in the house and she is available. She sits and talks with him. They frolic a bit, giggle a bit, and drink a little, and she sits in his lap. And Bob leans forward and whispers in her ear, "Can I pay in Canadian dollars?" I’M SO OLD, I REMEMBER WHEN VODKA ONLY CAME IN VODKA FLAVOUR!Costambar Monthly page 7 Nocknowyorresreiecrane” | BIG LEE’S Beach Bar 1. You take dog for lk and both the same tee 0g for a walk and you Pothuse —_l@pen Every Day at Sam - 3rd caseta frem La Strena| 2.Yc i Mf fc than 1S minseewithafgewater eT aa a Thy 4. You burn your yard rather than mow it. 5. You think "The Nutcracker" is something you do 6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture. AFTERNOON ry iy = mi A 7.Xou offer to give someone the shirt off your back 3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years. Ae off the high dive, and they don't want it. RETRY UPS i e-ar-r-day| &. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial. 9. You come back from the dump with more than dS Na Co) NTU $7) you took. 10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table. January ISth & 29th 1 Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat. DyaNiaatsy 12. Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list. se Saturday 13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower. ; 14. You've been involved in a custody fight over a January 16th 2 30th hunting dog, ks Spm-midnight 15, You go to the stock car races and don't need a ALWAYS A GREAT TIME!! program. 16. You know how many bales of hay your car will, SPORT BAR bold FOOD & DRINKS 17. You have a rag for a gas cap. 18. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your CALIFORNIA STYLE ‘Open Tues to Sat from 4:30pm, truck does. ‘ 19. You wonder how service stations keep their ral, Costambar (beside the ferreteria) rest-rooms so clean. MONDAYS Closed 20. You can spit without opening your mouth, TUESDAY- Happy Hour 21. You consider your license plate personalized 4:30-7:30pm because your father made it. SATURDAY | 2x1 cuba/santo Libres 22 . Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand. Mojito Day 23, You have a complete set of salad bowls and TUESDAYS only RDS150 they all say "Cool Whip" on the side. 7 different types! 24.The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal- WEDNESDAYS 110% off wings night 28, Your working TV sits on top of your non- 10% Off Tequila and working TV. THURSDAYS Tex Mex Food!! 26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet FRIDAYS Live Musiel! 8pm table. , — 27. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does SATURDAYS _| Friends & Family Night! $100,000 worth of improvements. Come & Enjoy! 28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back. SUNDAYS Open from NOON! 29. You missed your Sth grade graduation because NFL LIVE “unless otherwise noted all specials start at 4:30pm" j duty. MO oa think fea fon 809-970-3438 809-402-2553 30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65.Costambar Monthly page 8 a Costambar Derby = a Doonhiecttot E After extensive, tedious research, the following conclusions are presented for your consideration: ‘There are only ten times in history where the "F” word has been considered acceptable for use. They are as follows: 10, “What the @#$9% do you mean, we are sinking?" -- Capt. E.J. Smith of RMS Titanic, 1912 9. "What the @#$% was that?" -- Mayor Of Hiroshima, 1945. &. "Where did all those @#$%ing Indians come from?" ~ Custer, 1877 7. “Any @#$%ing idiot could understand that.” -- Einstein, 1905 6. "It does so @#$96ing look like her!" ~- Picasso, 1926 5. "How the @#6% did you work that out?" ~- Pythagoras, 126 BC 4. "You want WHAT on the @#$%ing ceiling?” - Michelangelo, 1566 3. "Where the @#$96 are we?" -- Amelia Earhart, 1937 2. "Scattered @#$96ing showers, my ass!" -- Noah, 4314 BC 1. "Aw c'mon. Who the @#$9 is going to find out?" ~- Bill Clinton, 1998 RTH CONTROL EFFECTIVENESS PILUs: 99% crocs TM GOING TO RETIRE AND P| LIVE OFF MY SAVINGS. Wishes you all a very Happy New Year! Open from Monday till Friday IT’S TRUE I DON’T HAVE TO BE SO SARCASTIC BUT THE WORLD HAS GIVEN ME SO MUCH MATERIAL AND I WOULDN’T WANT TO BE WASTEFUL!Costambar Monthly page 9 4 : 2D yw" Retreat & Recreation Center hc cara Com’ entire de $ At Loase Tuos-Sat ‘Yam - 8pm Sunday 9am - 4pm Closed Mondays "Like" Sams Bar & Gel ‘On Facebook CHARO’S RIBS RD$490 AVAILABLE THURSDAYS Call 809-970-7429} Or 809-387-5532 WINGS RD$240 PULLED PORK SANDWICHES RD$280 AVAILABLE FRIDAYS Call 829-794-3606 FS =s a ae Se a uw TU) at Dorothy and Edna are two "senior" widows. Dorothy: "That nice George Johnson asked me out for a date. I know you went out with him last week, and I wanted to talk with you about him before I give him my answer." Edna: "Well I'l tell you. He shows up at my apartment punctually at 7pm, dressed like such a gentleman in a fine suit, and he brings me such beautiful flowers! Then he takes me downstairs. And what's there: a limousine, uniformed chauffeur and all. Then he takes me out for dinner; a marvellous dinner, lobster, champagne, dessert, and after-dinner drinks. Then we go see a show. Let me tell you Dorothy, I enjoyed it so much I could have just died from pleasure! So then we are coming back to my apartment and he turns into an ANIMAL, Completely crazy, he tears off my expensive new drese and has his way with me three times II!" Dorothy; "Goodness gracious!... So you are telling me I shouldn't go 77" Edna: "No, no, no... Course not...'m just saying, wear an old dress". APC MEMBERS MEETING Saturday, January 9th 3pm at Sole Mio Find out what you need to do to vote or run for office MEET THE CANDIDATES Saturday, January 16th 3pm at Sole MioCostambar Monthly page 10 THE RAINY DAY PAGE CHRISTMAS TREE Find and circle all of the words that are hidden in the grid ‘The remaining letters spell a hidden message SOLUTIONS ON PAGE 16 SUDOKU PUZZLES Fill in the missing numbers so every row, column and quadrant contains the number I through 9. SEIBABNEW GCHAMPAGN ENSSUETHC SQINFETOO EFCOFINAS DHEFNFRRR AILUSEIASE RBBTTESMT AMTAYIANN PISWLEVRO NDEARLEIN DNETRVONT AISWIAAOR YOYEOBITN OHWINEITS NTYLIMAFN ETSAEFSNO SREZITEPP APPETIZERS DECORATIONS BABIES END OF DECEMBER BALLOONS EVENTS. BANNERS FAMILY BUFFET FATHER TIME CELEBRATE FEAST CHAMPAGNE FESTIVITIES CONFETTI FIREWORKS DANCE FIRST OF JANUARY DAYONE FRIENDS ye eT DA -ou+t-m-mo-warg AY HATS A mevHU-FrMeArwHoreczZx HOLIDAY HORNS Kiss MIDNIGHT music R omroa- nremee area s M oom