100-word miscellaneous stories

1.
Every day, upon picking up my 11-year-old son from school, I would ask, How was
your day? For years, I got the same responseFine, finewith no eye contact. His autism,
it seemed, was going to deprive me of the normal chitchat parents unconsciously relish. One
early spring afternoon, I asked the question, expecting the same answer. How was your
day? My son replied, Good, good. Then he looked at me and said, How was your day,
Mom? With tears streaming down my face, I said, Its really goodthe best day ever.
2.
My wife and I run a small restaurant where we often name our specials after our
employeesdishes like Chicken Mickey, after our dishwasher who gave us the recipe, and
Rods Ribs, after a waiter who had his personal style of barbecue. One evening after
rereading the menu, I broke with this convention and changed the description of the
exceptional we had named after our chef.
Despite her skills and excellent reputation, somehow I didnt think an entre named
Salmon Ella would go over big with our customers.
3.
Seen on the door of a repair shop:
WE CAN FIX ANYTHING. (Please knock on the doorthe bell doesnt work.)
4.
Two doctors and an HMO manager die and line up together at the Pearly Gates. One
doctor steps forward and tells St. Peter, As a pediatric surgeon, I saved hundreds of
children. St. Peter lets him enter.
The next doctor says, As a psychiatrist, I helped thousands of people live better
lives. St. Peter tells him to go ahead. The last man says, I was an HMO manager. I got
countless families cost-effective health care.
St. Peter replies, You may enter. But, he adds, You can only stay for three days.
After that, you can go to hell.
5. A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells, You shouldve been here at 8:30! The guy
replies, Why? What happened at 8:30?
6.
Joe and Dave are hunting when Dave keels over. Frantic, Joe dials 911 on his cell
phone and blurts, My friend just dropped dead! What should I do?A soothing voice at the
other end says, Dont worry, I can help. First, lets make sure hes really dead. After a brief
silence, the operator hears a shot. Then Joe comes back to the phone.
Okay, he says nervously to the operator. What do I do next?
7.
They were the best cookies Id ever baked, the ingredients more expensive than a
state dinners, a mix of my sons favorite recipes. I wrapped each cookie in plastic, sealed
the box, affixed the customs declaration form, and presented the parcel to the postal clerk.
Destination: Afghanistan. She pointed to an uncompleted section of the form. If nondeliverable: Abandon; Return; Redirect. If non-deliverablean incomprehensible phrase. I
stood stone-faced. My sons in the military, she said quietly. You can check Redirect, and
then write Chaplain to redistribute at his discretion.
Our mother-eyes met. I nodded. Thank you.
8.
Our relationship lasted just five years. He was a gentle, caring man who put me at
ease when I was stressed and made me laugh when times were tough. He was the kind of
person you want around all the time, yet I will not miss him. In fact, our last day together
was one of the happiest days of my life; a cause for celebration. I smiled as I hugged my
oncologist goodbye after five years of being cancer-free.

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_____________________________________Royal Academy of
Excellence_____________________________________