Analysis

nding Ribric Englishit t

ORGANIZATION:

Clear order is established. All the steps in the process are presented in chronologic

Paragraph Development: Topic sentences, supporting sentences, deta , and concludit'g

sentences are clear,
Coherence/tJnity: Adequate transitions are used.
introduction hooks reader and has a clear, evident thesis, esls addrsseg either (i) the
importance of the process or (2) an assertion of the nature of the process itself.
Conclusioneither (1) explainsthe significanceof the completed process, (2) *Plainsolljer uses it
may have, or (3) tells an amusing story or offers an emphatic comment

CONTENT:

Purpose is clear and significant.

The need for any special equipment has been noted and explained, any

The essay includes all of the steps (and warnings) necessary to understan ing the processvZ
Each step is described in detail to make it understandable to the reader,

terms are

STYLE:
Essay is written in standard/academic English and is free of errors in grammar, spelling, and
mechanics.
4

10
9
Word choice is clear and appropriate.

Writer's voice is authentic

MLA style is used consistently and correctly

PROCESS:

Proposal/Prewrite

Rough Draft/Peer Edit Checklists

Proof of Revision

Self-Reflection/Commentary
Final Gr
Comments:

tone

Nud
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ond

Jillian Rose Cruz

Ms. Manugo
English 111 - Process Essay

December 2015

way people can probably get nd of

Messy, dried-out, and frizzy hair? Well, now theva

to Simply go In
those pesky split ends for good While the popular method to eliminate them was
for a tnrn or use well-known hair masks, with this new proced

safety and possibly the precious locks altogether, but

*this

only sacrifices are one's

really the only nsks. Velaterapja, as

technique is termed. is a relatively safe Brazilian hair treatment method that uses harsh

flames to burn away the split ends.

Need +0 add +h015//puEpcA

Before going into the hair salon to spend a few hundred dollars, one should be sure to

check her stylist's training and background This process is not for the faint-of-heart. and plenty
of practice in required for any beautician to perform the procedure correctly Without bummg all
the hair@Hair

burning is done by using an open flame, usually Just from any normal wax

candle, and passing it under twisted hair strands. The twisting is said to prevent the individual
'k

strands themselves from being fully burnt o

Moreover, while recetvung the

sit back and watch as endless amounts of Singed locks fall to the floor

one can
the salon charr

The sweet, relaxing smell of burning hair fills the salon. however. no one should rmnd the turfs
of smoke ee

n in the mirror billowing up behind her head since some small flames do

in fact occur but will likely put themselves out A skilled worker w 111ensure that the dangerous
flame dsn't bum the scalp, too. but will also have burn cream ready on-hand tn the salon.

n invidul

After Allof the bait has undergone enough of the burn

has to it through n Brazilian blowout treatmenean entirely separate hajr

rts own.

followAjptreatment, however, is only necessary if one wants 'mg lasting results frtxn the
veintetapia treatmen , ven though Btatiljnn blowouts are effective on their own through
of formaldehyde and chemicals. Expostng hatr to beat ts known to cause a weakening

ug

the

natural protective cuticle and so coating each strand in a prcnecve layer Withthe Branhan

blowout after having subjected the halt to ogrn flatTE:sseems like a gcxdIdeasnyooe recemng
the blowout needs to ensure having strajght hatr is the desared yle unce that's the

with t

ess.

Now that the hair has been subpcted to flames and cherrcals. 't should
health. Messy. dneout. fnuy hatr can now

a thing

the paw ehrmnate ail c.f that by

burning off the problematic split ends rather thnn just altenn
a few major

better option

the pcture

ith a sensible hajrcut With only

and only costing a couple hundred dollars. Velaterapja dearly

r-rnask

like the

Could