The End of Longing

By
Sophie Terrell

2.
ACT I
Scene 1
Curtains are closed. Over the top, a scene from
Friends plays. The One With All The
Thanksgivings where Joey gets his head stuck in
the turkey.
Once the scene gets to the part where Phoebe says
Its not supposed to be funny, its supposed to
be scary. the audio becomes distorted, lower and
more sinister, as the curtains slowly begin to
open revealing...
A man with his head up a turkeys ass lays face
down in the middle of the stage, completely
motionless, wearing the same clothes as Joey in
the projected episode. The projection continues to
descend into further distortion, the audio clip of
Joey saying Its Joey! begins repeating itself,
mixed with various clips of other characters
saying Joey! in a worried, loud or sad way from
different episodes.
Enter MATTHEW PERRY stage left. He looks down at
the man on the floor and sighs heavily, upset. The
projection sputters and ends when Joey does his I
scared you! dance at Chandler.
MATTHEW PERRY begins to sob as the projected scene
fades and a final Its Joey! echoes. Lights out.
Pause. Silence.
Lights up and a thin woman, also with her head up
a turkeys ass, wearing the same clothes as Monica
in the final scene of The One With All The
Thanksgivings lies stage right. A fez and a
large pair of glasses lay scattered in front of
her prone body. JOEY is still lying face down
stage left.
MATTHEW PERRY sits between the two with his head
in his hands.
Projected behind them we see the scene in which
Monica dances with the turkey on her head for
Chandler. It is glitching a lot and there is no
audio.
Wonderful Tonight by Eric Clapton begins to play
quietly, getting louder and louder as the scene
continues.
(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

3.

Three other people approach the stage from the

audience/down the aisles. The audience have not
been aware of them until now. They also each have
their heads up a turkeys ass. One is dressed
vaguely like Ross, one is dressed loosely like
Phoebe and the other is dressed a bit like Rachel.
They are dancing, slowly, like Monica is in the
projection.
The three make their way on stage and proceed to
dance around MATTHEW PERRY as he sobs harder.
This goes on for at least a minute in which
another turkey descends from the ceiling and lands
next to MATTHEW PERRY. He looks over at it through
his tears.
Over the top of Wonderful Tonight, which is now
fairly loud, an audio clip of Chandler doing that
one noise I cant find a clip of where he kind of
warbles and goes bwarrgh warrlgh and stretches
his mouth all funny (which might even be an
impression Joey does of him, I cant remember.
Everyones seen Friends) plays also.
When everything is beginning to reach its loudest
stage, a banner sowly descends from behind them
with the words MORE TURKEY MISTER CHANDLER?
painted crudely upon it. As it settles into place,
MATTHEW PERRY reluctantly shoves his head up the
new turkeys ass.
After a moment, the curtains begin to fall.
END.