what is meaningful to us now may not be useful later on

why do my days all seem so boring, so long and hopeless

I am wasting my hours away, is this life's illusion?
let us speculate, let us wait
for our imminent fate
For I can no longer feel joy nor sorrow
To me, tommorrow
is yet a soulless reality
trapping me here
when I, deep in my heart, hope for paradise
A vibrant poetic world, not the chaotic one now leading to a demise
Oh what can I do? What can I say?
I feel so depressed, so down in the dumps....