Color Key:

Simile = Red
Metaphor = Blue
Onomatopoeia = Green

Personification = Orange
Signposts = Purple

Nick Purdy
November 19, 2014
The First Thanksgiving...Gone Wrong!

The names Nick. Just Nick, I said to the video camera.

Today is a very special day. I am the lab assistant and best friend of a brilliant scientist and
medical professional, Professor Pig. Today is his 64th birthday and I am going to surprise him with a
state-of-the-art time machine that Ive spent the past six months building. But first, I must wait for him to
wake up.
I aimed the video camera at Professor Pig, who was still sound asleep in his wet, soggy mudand-slop bed. Professor Pigs alarm clock alarm starts off as a jazzy tune, but the last part of it is mostly a
heavy metal singer screaming into a microphone. When the alarm went off, I yelled HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
right in his face.
Oh, (SNORT) good morning, (SNORT) Nick, said Pig sleepily.
Come on! Come on! I said to him. Its your birthday, remember?
Yep...(SNORT).
Hustle, Professor! I have something to show you! I exclaimed to him.
Pig climbed out of bed, mud dripping from his gear-patterned pajamas and his bushy, brown
mustache. Once Pig was ready, I led him to our bunker. On the way there, Pig grabbed some hot coffee
from his Robotic Butler invention, and then we had arrived.
Ta-da! I announced. I spent six months secretly building a state-of-the-art Time Machine for
Pig!.
Awesomeness is present, murmured Pig. Then he and I hopped into the time machine and
shut the door. Pig still had his coffee in hand and he was still very excited and upbeat. In fact, Pig was
almost shaking like a vibrating harpstring with excitement. Finally, Pig sprang into the air and shouted
YAHO-OUCH because he clonked his head on the low ceiling, and spilled his coffee all over the time
machines control panel. There was a loud SPLASH followed by a ZZT-ZZT-ZZT. Before we knew it, Pig

Color Key:
Simile = Red
Metaphor = Blue
Onomatopoeia = Green

Personification = Orange
Signposts = Purple

and I were thrown against the wall of the time machine by centrifugal force. At that instant, everything
went BLACK.
AAAAAHHHHH! Pig and I popped out of nowhere and into a wide-open, yet hilly plain filled with
grass. Nearby, a forest lay, and between us and the forest rested a village that shouted, 1621! 1621!
We must have made a scene, popping out of nowhere and screaming at the top of our lungs,
because families in white clothing were departing their long, wooden huts, and staring. The white-clothed
people were accompanied by more people, but these ones were darker-skinned and wore different
clothing.
By now, Pig and I had gotten to our feet and were standing next to each other. It seemed like the
whole village was there in front of us. All the strange crowd did was stare directly into our souls, almost as
if we were crazy.
Through the side of my mouth, I muttered, Pig! XYZ!
Pigs eyes widened and he quickly turned away. He then zipped up his pants zipper and spun
back around to face the village.
I decided to break the silence.
Um...Ellohay. My amenay is Icknay?
Pig glared at me. Then he said, Let me handle this, and he walked forward with confidence,
popping his knuckles. Next, he jumped up and said, Wee kum fwum da FYOO-(SNORT)-Chrr! Pig was
doing air-jumping jacks when he said this. Finally, when nothing happened, he glared at the crowd of
people and said, WHATever, (SNORT). I give up.
The strange crowd of white-clothed and darker-skinned people went back to their own business
after Pig tried to communicate with them. I noticed a long, thin table in front of the village. There were
white plates made from pottery lined up along the edges of the table. For each plate there was a large,
flat stone that reminded me of a chair.
It looks like theyre about to have some sort of meal, I said to Pig.
Well, (SNORT) I dont really care about what these foreigners are preparing for (SNORT), he
replied with a groan. I just want to get out of here (SNORT) and back to the twenty-first century

Color Key:
Simile = Red
Metaphor = Blue
Onomatopoeia = Green

Personification = Orange
Signposts = Purple

(SNORT). Wait...(SNORT). Pig stopped cold. Then he turned slowly to face me and said, If we came
here in the time machine (SNORT), then where is the time machine?
After a long pause, I said, Huh. You do make a point, there, Pig.
Great! (SNORT) Now were stuck in the middle of time with no way to get back! (SNORT) I dont
want to change the past...(SNORT) or the future! Pig was having a fit over this situation.
Look, Pig, I-Im sure well find a way to get back to the present-day.
Meanwhile, the strange villager-people were decorating the long, thin table. The white-clothed
people were placing flowers in the center of the table, as well as one flower on top of each plate. The
darker-skinned people were also helping; they were setting small, handheld stones with carved pictures
on them on top of each stone-chair.
Pig and I were so busy discussing how we had ended up in the village and how we were going to
get back that we nearly missed the sound of stone hitting stone. One of the darker-skinned people had
dropped a carved stone onto one of the stone-chairs.
Whoa, I murmured. Look, Pig. Those people are setting that long table. It looks like theyre
about to have a big feast or something.
I heard Pig gasp. Thats it! (SNORT), he exclaimed. The first Thanksgiving! (SNORT) I know
when in time we are! (SNORT) The first Thanksgiving was a large meal (SNORT) that was meant to
celebrate the peace and partnership between the Pilgrims (SNORT) and the Native Americans! (SNORT)
I cant believe were in 1621!
Whoa, I said again.
By now, the Pilgrims and the Native Americans were bringing bowls of food to the long table. Pig
and I could see breads, meats, fruits, vegetables, and more typical Thanksgiving-dinner-type foods being
brought down to the long table.
Wheres the turkey? I wondered aloud. I then heard a distant SCREECH followed by a muffled
Gotcha! Finally, a Native American could be seen walking alongside a Pilgrim, who was carrying a dead
turkey. The Native American was patting the Pilgrim on the back as the two of them walked toward the
long table. When they got to the table, the Pilgrim set the dead turkey on a wide, oval-shaped tray in the
center of the long table.

Color Key:
Simile = Red
Metaphor = Blue
Onomatopoeia = Green

Personification = Orange
Signposts = Purple

That answers my question, I said.

The feast is about to begin (SNORT), said Pig. If we cannot get back to the present-day now,
(SNORT) we should follow through with the events that occur by default (SNORT), so that way we dont
change history too much. First, (SNORT) we need disguisesthe farms!
That sounds like a plan, I replied. Having said this, Pig and I walked as casually as we could to
the villages farms. When we were there, Pig told me to get some wool, while he went off to gather wheat.
Soon enough, the two of us were clothed in white robes with hoods that hung behind our necks. Pig had
to use his Grandmas Helper invention to sew the robes for us to wear.
Hey, Pig, check it out! The Pilgrims and the Natives are already prepared! Wed better hurry!
Professor Pig and I then began sort of jogging to the table, where we could see one of the Pilgrims
standing above all the others. Pig and I had arrived when we heard the standing Pilgrim.
Let it be heard that we shall always be thankful for what we have, and what we are given. The
Pilgrim spoke in a low, confident voice to the people around him.
Pig waved to me from the opposite side of the table, where there were two empty seats available
for us. I quickly, but casually, snuck over to him and we sat down on the stone-chairs.
Dig in! announced the still standing Pilgrim. Although, something very unexpected happened.
The turkey in the center of the table sprung onto two feet and said, HUH? Then it looked around the
table at all of us sitting there, waiting to sink our teeth into him. The living turkey jumped up and flapped
its wings several times and somehow shot into the air and flew away.
So much for that bird, I muttered through the side of my mouth to Pig. For a few seconds, no
one spoke or moved. It was like an old library. The silence didnt last for long, and soon complete
pandemonium broke out. Everyone just started shoving handfuls of food into their mouths, and eventually
one young-looking Pilgrim jumped onto the table, took off his shirt-robe, and swung it around in the air
while yelling AAOOUUHHIHYAAHH!
This went on for a good thirty minutes, and at one point a small Native American girl threw some
bread at a Pilgrim, which only made things worse. Finally, when the sun began to disappear over the
horizon, the large group of now ten-pounds-heavier people were dozing off to sleep. There was still a
large amount of nearly untouched food left down where Pig and I still sat, shocked.

Color Key:
Simile = Red
Metaphor = Blue
Onomatopoeia = Green

Personification = Orange
Signposts = Purple

Aha! Pig exclaimed out of the blue. Sleep! (SNORT) Lots of food! (SNORT) I know how we can
get back to the present-day! (SNORT) Then he just started saying Youre so awesome, Pig! and Thats
right! Im the best! and other things to himself.
What is it, Pig? I asked him excitedly. How can we get back home?
It is called (SNORT), The Thanksgiving Time Travel Ritual. Basically, how it works is at precisely
12:00 A.M. on Thanksgiving night, (SNORT) time travel can be performed on a full stomach! (SNORT)
But we must hurry, (SNORT) for there is not much time. Start eating! Pig looked at his watch. We have
roughly fifteen minutes to devour at least twenty pounds of food (SNORT).
Pig and I began shoving and forcing globs of food into our mouths and being total pigs (One of us
literally), when Pig said, Its 11:58! (SNORT) You will know when you have eaten enough, (SNORT)
because when attempting the Thanksgiving Time Travel Ritual, (SNORT) your body automatically shuts
down once it has consumed exactly twenty pounds!
Got ihh, I tried to say to him, but apparently I had reached twenty pounds, because I instantly
felt as tired as a koala.
Nooo (SNORT)! Pig cried to himself, I just need one more ounce (SNORT)! Theres no more
food (SNORT)! Just sugar, and chocolate, (SNORT) andthats it!
Pig quickly pulled out his Grandmas Helper invention and inserted a handful of sugar, flour, and
chocolate from the table. Then he pressed Bake on the device with a swift motion of his hoof. Finally,
Pig gobbled up the finished fresh, hot cookies before falling into a deep, deep sleep.
Pig, WAKE UP! I yelled. BLAH-BLAH-BLAH-BLAH-BLAAAHHH!!!
Okay, okay, (SNORT) Im up, Im up! Pig moaned. Wait, (SNORT) where are we? he asked.
Its all back to normal, I told the sleepy professor. Happy Birthday, buddy!
Yay, Pig snoozed. Then he passed out.