English is tough stuff

gl z tf stf
Dearest creature in creation,
drst kritr n krien,
Study English pronunciation.
stdi gl prnnsien.
I will teach you in my verse
a wl tit ju n ma vrs
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
sndz lak krps, kr, hrs, nd wrs.
I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
a wl kip ju, [Suzy], bzi,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
mek jr hed w hit gro dzi.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
tr n a, jr dres wl tr.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.
so l a! ()o hr ma prer.
Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
dst kmper hrt, brd, nd hrd,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
daz nd dat, lrd nd wrd,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
srd nd swrd, rten nd brtn.
(Mind the latter, how it's written.)
(mand lter, h ts rtn.)
Now I surely will not plague you
n a rli wl nt pleg ju
With such words as plaque and ague.
w st wrdz z plk nd egju.
But be careful how you speak:
bt bi kerfl h ju spik:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
se brek nd stek, bt blik nd strik;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
[Cloven], vn, h nd lo,
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.
skrpt, rsit, o, pom, nd to.
Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
hr mi se, divd v trkri,
Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
dtr, lftr, nd trpskri,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
tafd, mizlz, tpselz, alz,
Exiles, similes, and reviles;
egzalz, smliz, nd rvalz;
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
sklr, vkr, nd sgr,
Solar, mica, war and far;
solr, mak, wr nd fr;
One, anemone, Balmoral,
wn, nemni, [Balmoral],

Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;

ktn, lakn, lndri, lrl;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
[Gertrude], drmn, wnd nd mand,
Scene, Melpomene, mankind.
sin, melpmni, mnkand.
Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
blt doz nt ram w ble,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
boke, wlt, mlt, le.
Blood and flood are not like food,
bld nd fld r nt lak fud,
Nor is mould like should and would.
nr z [mould] lak d nd wd.
Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
vsks, vaknt, lod nd brd,
Toward, to forward, to reward.
tord, t frwrd, t riwrd.
And your pronunciation's OK
nd jr prnnsienz oke
When you correctly say croquet,
wen ju krekli se kroke,
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
rndd, wundd, griv nd sv,
Friend and fiend, alive and live.
frend nd find, lav nd elv.
Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
avi, prvi, fems; [clamour]
And enamour rhyme with hammer.
nd [enamour] ram w hmr.
River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
rvr, ravl, tum, bm, kom,
Doll and roll and some and home.
dl nd rol nd sm nd hom.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
strendr doz nt ram w gr,
Neither does devour with clangour.
nir doz dvr w [clangour].
Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
solz bt fl, hnt bt nt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
fnt, frnt, wnt, wnt, grnd, nd grnt,
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
uz, gus, doz. n frst se fgr,
And then singer, ginger, linger,
nd en sr, dndr, lr,
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
ril, zil, mv, gz, gd nd ged,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.
merd, folid, mr, nd ed.
Query does not rhyme with very,
kwri doz nt ram w veri,
Nor does fury sound like bury.
nr doz fjri snd lak beri.

Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.

dst, lst, post nd du, kl, [loth].
Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
db, nb, bzm, trnsm, o.
Though the differences seem little,
o dfrnsz sim ltl,
We say actual but victual.
wi se kt(w)l bt vtl.
Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
rfr doz nt ram w defr.
Foeffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
[Foeffer] doz, nd zefr, hefr.
Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
mnt, pant, sent nd sdet;
Dull, bull, and George ate late.
dl, bl, nd drd ti let.
Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
sink, rbk, psfk,
Science, conscience, scientific.
sans, knsans, santfk.
Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
lbrti, labreri, hiv nd hevn,
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
[Rachel], ek, [moustache], levn.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
wi se hlod, bt ld,
People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
pipl, leprd, tod, bt vd.
Mark the differences, moreover,
mrk dfrnsz, mrovr,
Between mover, cover, clover;
btwin muvr, kvr, klovr;
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
litz, britz, waz, prsas,
Chalice, but police and lice;
tls, bt plis nd [lice];
Camel, constable, unstable,
kml, knstbl, [unstable],
Principle, disciple, label.
prnspl, dsapl, lebl.
Petal, panel, and canal,
petl, pnl, nd knl,
Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.
wet, spraz, plet, prms, pl.
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
wrm nd strm, ez, kes, ter,
Senator, spectator, mayor.
sentr, spektetr, mer.
Tour, but our and succour, four.
tr, bt r nd [succour], fr.
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
gs, ls, nd rkns.
Sea, idea, Korea, area,
si, adi, kri, eri,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
sm, [Maria], bt mleri.

Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.

ju, s, srn, klenz nd klin.
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.
dktrn, trpntan, mrin.
Compare alien with Italian,
kmper elin w tljn,
Dandelion and battalion.
dndlan nd btljn.
Sally with ally, yea, ye,
slli w la, je, ji,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.
a, a, [ay], e, we, nd ki.
Say aver, but ever, fever,
se [aver], bt evr, fivr,
Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
nir, lir, sken, dsivr.
Heron, granary, canary.
hern, grenri, kneri.
Crevice and device and aerie.
krevs nd divas nd eri.
Face, but preface, not efface.
fes, bt prefs, nt fes.
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
flem, flegmtk, s, gls, bs.
Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
lrd, bt trgt, gn, div, vrd,
Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
t, t, dst nd skr, skrd.
Ear, but earn and wear and tear
r, bt rn nd wer nd tr
Do not rhyme with here but ere.
du nt ram w hr bt er.
Seven is right, but so is even,
sevn z rat, bt so z ivn,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
hafn, rfn, nefju stivn,
Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
mki, dki, trk nd drk,
Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.
sk, grsp, wsp, nd krk nd wrk.
Pronunciation -- think of Psyche!
prnnsien -- k v saki!
Is a paling stout and spikey?
z pl stt nd [spikey]?
Won't it make you lose your wits,
wont t mek ju luz jr wts,
Writing groats and saying grits?
rt grots nd se grts?
It's a dark abyss or tunnel:
ts drk bs r tnl:
Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
strun w stonz, stod, sls, gnl,
Islington and Isle of Wight,
[Islington] nd al v wat,

Housewife, verdict and indict.

hswaf, vrdkt nd ndat.
Finally, which rhymes with enough -fanlli, wt ramz w nf -Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
o, ru, [plough], r do, r kf?
Hiccough has the sound of cup.
[Hiccough] hz snd v kp.
My advice is to give up!!!
ma dvas z t gv p!!!