Name________________________________________

Period___

Response to Non-Fiction Essay Manual

Hmong American Peace Academy
2015-2016

Essay Prompt
Who could have prevented or stopped Davids harmful obsession from getting out
of control?
Model Claim: As David's fascination with science developed into something dangerous,
dishonest, and at times illegal, (person's name) might have been able to prevent or stop
this harmful obsession from getting out of control.

Assignment:
Using the readings presented in class and your own knowledge and research, write an argument
elaborating on a person who may have been able to prevent David's obsession from getting out of
control.
Write a 3-4 page argument which responds to the prompt in a thoughtful way and elaborates to create
a meaningful argument.
Length & Format:

3 full pages (reaching the bottom of page 3)

MLA formatting
Use evidence from two or more sources(different texts)
Refer to 2-3 specific moments in the story to show how this person could have steered David
in a safer direction and/or made a difference in the outcome of the story.

To prepare you for this task, you will have built background knowledge by reading, discussing, and
writing about David Hahn's experiments with nuclear energy and read excerpts from two other
authors, Marie Curie and Richard Rhodes.

College Writing 9

Requirements:
Cannon 1 of Rhetoric: Invention
1. 3 claims which focus on different people in David's life
2. One polished, chosen claim
Cannon 2 of Rhetoric: Arrangement
1. Outline
Introduction:
Thesis
Body Paragraphs:
Background Information
Claims
Evidence
Fragments
Conclusion:
Restated Thesis
Cannon 3 of Rhetoric: Style
1.
2.
3.
4.

1 introduction with a thesis

1-2 paragraphs of background information
3-4 paragraphs proving the thesis (each beginning with a claim)
A conclusion

5. Remember to review the directions and the rubric. Also, proofread for grammatical/CUPS
(capitalization, usage & grammar, punctuation, and spelling) and verb tense errors.
Cannon 4 of Rhetoric: Memory
1. Notecards (maximum of 4)
Cannon 5 of Rhetoric: Delivery
1. Speech

Appendix A: Arguable Claims

A thesis statement tells the audience what your essay will be about and what you are trying to
convince them to believe. It is not too broad - instead it is specific. It also isn't just a summary - a
thesis is an argument which your audience may disagree with. This is usually the last sentence of your
introduction paragraph.
Strong claims and thesis statements are specific, arguable, and clear.

Not specific:

Government surveillance is harmful.

Specific: Government surveillance programs do more harm than good because they invade civil
liberties, lead innocent people to suffer unfair punishments, and ultimately fail to protect the citizens
that they are designed to safeguard.

Non-arguable:

Schools use a lot of technology.

Arguable: Wisconsin schools' dependence on technology has caused students to lose the ability to
think independently, causing a greater prevalence of mood disorders, memory loss, and loneliness.

Unclear:
supports them.

Homeless shelters are good, so the government

Clear: Homeless shelters help many people who have lost their way in life and cannot get back on
their feet, so the government economically supports facilities and programs like this.

Appendix B: Classical Argumentation Arrangement of Paragraphs

I.

Introduction: Capture the audience's interest, introduces the issue, and set out your position with a
thesis.
A. get the reader's attention by using a "hook."
B. use engaging language.
C. thesis or main claim.

II.

Narration: Establish background information and context for your argument so that your audience
can evaluate your claim fairly.
a. provide background information and context about the issue
b. explain the situation, the issue at stake, and its history
c. define important terms or ideas
d. begin with claims/topic sentences

III.

Confirmation: Use reasoning to explain why you believe in your thesis and persuade your audience
to agree.
a. contain cited evidence, examples, facts, and definitions to prove the claim of the
paragraph
b. explain why the evidence supports the claims and the larger thesis
c. logical elaboration relating back to your point.
d. begin with claims/topic sentences
e. end with a clincher which provides a sense of closure to your idea in this paragraph
and/or transitions to your next idea.

IV.

Conclusion: Remind your readers what is at stake and provide closure.

a. review the thesis
b. revisit the issues
c. make your argument seem right and important due to the larger significance or longrange impact
d. give a sense of closure: confident, relevant closing or call to action

Appendix C: Sample Alphanumeric Outline

Student Name
College Writing 9
Ms. Dassow
20 January 2016
I.

II.

III.

IV.

V.

VI.

VII.

Brain Scientists Lead the Alzheimer's Battle Outline

Introduction
a. Thesis: Because recent medical innovations do not lead towards a cure, research being done by neuroscientists
will have more of an impact on disease prevention.
Narration #1
a. Alzheimer's is a cognitive disease which affects hundreds of thousands of people in the United States alone.
i. Explain symptoms of the disease.
ii. Common
iii. In fact, " The total number of people with dementia worldwide in 2010 is estimated at 35.6 million and
is projected to nearly double every 20 years, to 65.7 million in 2030 and 115.4 million in 2050" (World
Health Organization).
Narration #2
a. The side effects of the medication for this disease range from depression to blood clots.
i. Explain the medication options.
ii. " (Cognex), donepezil (Aricept), rivastigmine (Exelon), or galantamine (Reminyl) " (World Health
Organization).
b. Describe side effects.
Confirmation #1
a. Recent medical innovations have shed some light on the issue, but are not leading towards a cure.
b. Medication use has increased
i. The National Institute on Aging reports that "Developing new treatments for AD is an active area of
research. Scientists are testing a number of drugs to see if they prevent AD, slow the disease, or help
reduce symptoms [which] May help control behavioral symptoms of AD such as sleeplessness,
agitation, wandering, anxiety, and depression" (78-79).
ii. Elaborate on how this is a step displaying progress, yet there treatment is not a cure.
iii. Transition to the next paragraph.
Confirmation #2
a. Patient treatment is killing more people than it is helping.
i. According to Thomas J. Moore, an authority on prescription drugs, "Each year, 100,000 Americans or
more die of adverse drug reactions, one million are severely injured, and two million are harmed while
they are hospitalized, making ill effects from drugs one of the greatest dangers in modern society and
one of the leading causes of death" (5-6).
b. Elaborate on the harms of drugs.
c. Transition to the next paragraph.
Confirmation #3
a. Brain scientists are studying the brain and have recently made some breakthroughs to understanding aging.
b. Explain the meaning of brain science.
c. Explain the complexity of the brain.
d. According to Savallod, " Brain chemistry has been a field wrapped in mystery, but the last ten years have
revealed some secrets which may help to slow aging" (55).
Conclusion
a. Reworded thesis: Research performed by neuroscientists are the best method to attempt to cure diseases.
b. Briefly summarize main support.
c. So What?
i. Discuss the future of technology
ii. Give hope about brain science
5

Appendix D: Example MLA Works Cited Page (Books Only)

Works Cited
Dickens, Charles. Great Expectations. New York: Dodd, Mead, 1942. Print.
Foucault, Michel. Madness and Civilization: A History of Insanity in the Age of Reason. Trans.
Richard Howard. New York: Vintage-Random House, 1988.
Gillespie, Paula, and Neal Lerner. The Allyn and Bacon Guide to Peer Tutoring. Boston: Allyn,
2000. Print.
Saint-Exupry, Antoine. The Little Prince. Trans. Richard Howard. San Diego: Harcourt, 2000.
Print.

Necessary information about the texts used in this unit:

Book Title: The Radioactive Boy Scout

Author: Ken Silverstein
Date published: 2004
Publisher: Villard Books
Location: New York

Book Title: The Making of the Atomic

Bomb
Author: Richard Rhodes
Date published: 1986
Publisher: Simon & Schuster
Location: New York

Book Title: Pierre Curie

Author: Marie Curie
Translators: Charlotte Kellogg,
Vernon L Kellogg
Date published: 1963
Publisher: Dover Publications
Location: New York

Appendix E: Picky Rules for Writing

(Adapted from Professor Cohens 39 Picky Rules)

Sentence and Style Rules:

1. Do not begin sentences in any of the following ways: There are/is, This is, It is, etc.
2. I, we, us, our, etc. do not belong in academic papers, unless they appear in a quote. Delete
or revise those sentences.
3. Never write an incomplete sentence (participles -- ing words -- cannot stand as verbs). A verb
must agree with its subject in person and number.
4. Bury words like however, furthermore, moreover, indeed, and any other suitable
transitions in the clause or sentence; do not put them at the beginning. ( The students, however,
learned something.)
5. Every pronoun should have a clear antecedent to which it agrees in person, number, and gender.

Paragraph and Arrangement Rules:

6. Give your paper a clear thesis sentence at the end of your first paragraph. If you can remember
only one rule, this rule is the one you must remember.
7. Each paragraph must stick to the subject introduced by its first sentence.
8. Avoid using quotations to begin or end a paragraph or a paper. Your own words are most
important in those places.
9. Do not use one or two sentences as a paragraph.
10. Use paragraphs. One paragraph cannot continue on for 3/4 of a page or longer. Cut that in half
where the focus has changed.
11. Make the transition between your sentences and your paragraphs clear and logical. This task is the
most difficult in writing, but, as you know, life is hard.
12. In longer papers remind the reader of your thesis throughout the body of your paper. Always
connect your topic sentences to your thesis.
Argumentation Rules:
13. Never just summarize or paraphrase. Assume your reader has read/seen it. I do not want to know
what happened. I want to know your ideas about what happened.
14. Support your assertions and ideas with concrete examples, with brief quotes from the story, book,
or film you are discussing, or with a short citation from some reliable authority.
15. Do not ask the audience questions. Your audience will not respond to your questions. Strongly
written sentences with deep thoughts are much more strong.

Diction and Vocabulary Rules:

16. Do not misspell words. Misspelled words look dumb; do not look dumb. Use a dictionary or a
literate friend to check your spelling. On a word processor, always use spell-check, but do not trust
it! Spell-check is no substitute for proofreading. Spell out one and two digit numbers.
17. Never use contractions (dont, arent, cant, etc.).
18. A possessive without an apostrophe is a misspelled word. One exception is the possessive of it:
its. It is contracts to its. Since you will not use contractions, you will never write its on a
paper.
19. Choose the best word for the context. Your papers should be a place where every word is at
home, taking its place to support the others.
7

20. Code-switch your language to increase the academic tone. Lose the word very and, like, you
know, other informal, useless phrases from, you know, your written and spoken vocabulary.

Format and Polishing Rules:

21. Number your pages.
22. Give your paper an informative title. The name of the work you are dealing with is NOT the title
of your paper. Shakespeares Use of Time in Hamlet is by a thoughtful person; It Takes a
Broken Egghead to Make a Hamlet is by a clown; Hamlet is by Shakespeare.
23. Italicize all full-length films, plays, and books. Do likewise with magazine and newspaper titles. Short
stories, film shorts, one-act plays, and articles go in quotation marks (). Do not underline or
put your own title in quotation marks.
24. When you quote from or refer to a source, use signal phrases to introduce it, cite it appropriately,
and include a works cited page at the end of the paper.
25. Before handing in your final copy, have an intelligent friend read your paper to you; then fix it.
26. Be safe: frequently save your file, and if possible keep a hard copy, and/or a version on another
drive.
27. Do not hand in a paper unless you have come to care about it. You believe in goodness and truth;
therefore, commit yourself to communicating your ideas well and truthfully.

Appendix F: Response to Non-Fiction Essay Rubric

Focus
Your written response
shows an
understanding and
interpretation of the
writing prompt.

10

8.5

6.5

Lead draws the reader into the

piece and establishes chosen
topic. Introduction provides
background information to
establish setting and context
for the reader, and a claim
stating the writer's idea about
the character(s).

Introduction is clear and

states the topic of the essay.
It includes a lead and a
claim about the main
character, but may not
include sufficient details
about the setting or context
of the story to properly
inform the reader.

Introduction does not

make topic clear to reader
and/or is missing a lead,
setting and context details,
and a clearly stated claim
about the main character.

Introduction does not

state the claim or context
of the essay in a way that
the reader can
understand.

In each part of the essay, the

majority of sentences refer to a
specific claim, moment, idea,
or emotion related to the
thesis.

30%

Development
(Evidence)
Your written response
gives a clear and
logical explanation of
ideas, using supporting
material.

Writing flows smoothly

because sentences build on or
refer to the sentence that
comes before.
Effective use of strong verbs,
sensory details, engaging leads,
and academic claims to create a
vivid picture or idea in the
reader's mind.
Textual evidence (quoted or
paraphrased) is consistently
relevant and convincing.
Includes unique observations
and meaningful elaboration.

Within each body

paragraph, most sentences
refer to the thesis.
Generally, most sentences
flow smoothly, building a
focused idea.

Somewhat effective use of

strong verbs, sensory
details, engaging leads, and
claims to create a vivid
picture or idea in the
reader's mind.
Most textual evidence
(quoted or paraphrased) is
relevant and convincing.
Includes some unique
observations and
meaningful elaboration.

Within each body

paragraph, sentences
sometimes flow smoothly,
but mostly does not.

No smooth flow of ideas

because almost every
sentence refers to a
different claim, moment,
idea, or emotion.

Sentences sometimes refer

to and build on one
another, but most do not.

The writing resembles a

list of actions or events.

Very little use of strong

verbs, sensory details,
engaging leads, or claims
to create a vivid picture or
idea in the reader's mind.

No use of strong verbs,

sensory details, engaging
leads, or claims to create
a vivid picture in the
reader's mind.

Some textual evidence

(quoted or paraphrased) is
relevant and convincing.

Little or no use of
relevant or convincing
textual evidence.

Includes few unique

observations or
meaningful elaboration.

Includes no unique
observations or
meaningful elaboration.

Writing is separated into

paragraphs, but not
always properly.

Little or no evidence of
logical sequencing
and/or clear paragraph
development.

30%

Logical
Structure
Your written response
flows logically
through the use of
transitions and sister
sentence coherency
techniques.

Writing is separated into

distinct paragraphs, and there
are clear connections and
smooth transitions between
moments, events, and different
sections of the essay.

Writing is separated into

paragraphs, and there are
usually clear connections
between moments, events,
and different sections of the
essay.

The relationships between

different parts of the essay are
clear.

The relationships between

different parts of the essay
are usually clear.

Language and tone are formal,

academic, and professional.

Language and tone are

usually formal, academic,
and professional.

20%

Grammar
Your written response
shows a sense of
audience by using
effective vocabulary
and varied sentence
structure.

No more than three run-ons

or fragments. Simple and
complex sentences are
correctly capitalized and
punctuated. In complex
sentences, parenthetical
information are enclosed by
commas.
All direct quotes are correctly
written, framed, and cited.

20%

Some run-ons or fragments.

Most simple and complex
sentences are correctly
crafted and punctuated.
Most direct quotes are
correctly written, framed,
and properly cited.

There are few connections

between moments, events,
and different sections of
the essay.
It is difficult to see the
relationship between
different parts of the
essay.
Language and tone are
sometimes formal,
academic, and
professional.
Frequent run-ons or
fragments. Frequent
mistakes in punctuating
compound sentences and
complex sentences. Some
mistakes distract from
meaning.
Few direct quotes are
correctly written, cited, or
framed.

No real transitions.
No connection between
different parts of the
essay.

Language and tone are

not formal, academic, or
professional.
Frequent run-ons and
fragments that make
meaning unclear.
Sentences are generally
not complete and use of
commas is unclear.
Either all direct quotes
are written, cited, and
framed incorrectly or
there are no direct
quotes.