How can I help my child

with ADHD?
Management Strategies for
Parents

 Raising a child with ADHD can

be incredibly challenging for
any parent
Russell Barkley, 2000

The challenge of raising

a child with ADHD

Parent also becomes angry

Sees child as having
bad attitude
Not a real neurological problem
Both parents and children become
unhappy and miserable

Child with ADHD

experiences difficulty
Parent sets increased limits/
punishes child

Child continues to experience failure

Becomes angry and defiant

Children with ADHD have

a need for increased activity,

may be impulsive
may have uninhibited or uncontrolled behaviour
have poor concentration
need constant input from you as a parent
These difficulties all impact your role as parent in ways
that you never thought were possible when you first
thought about or were aware that you were having a
child.

These childrens need for increased

guidance, love, protection,
nurturance and advocacy from a
parent can sometimes be hidden
behind a faade of demanding and
at times obnoxious or difficult
behaviour!
Barkley, 2000

Parents of children with ADHD

need to teach, monitor, supervise,
plan, structure, reward, discipline,
protect and nurture their children
in far more ways than would be
needed by a typical parent.

Parents will need to meet more often

with other adults involved in a childs
life such as teachers, doctors, mental
health professionals as well as others in
the community such as sports coaches
etc, as a result of other behavioural
difficulties these children may have.
Barkley, 2000

A lot may be required of you as

a parent of your child with ADHD!
So, what to do?

Understand the diagnosis

Make sure that everyone in the family knows
what ADHD or ADD is and what it means in
terms of how a child with ADHD behaves.

Understanding how ADHD can

affect a childs behaviour
and their emotional
understanding and perception
of the world is very important!

Separate the child

from the Diagnosis
As soon as you are aware that your child
may have ADHD or ADD, separate your
child from their medical condition.

ADHD isnt anyones fault, it just

is, and must be managed.
(ADDandADHD, 2009)

Be positive
A child who is always in trouble is
likely not to have good self-esteem
and possibly a strong dislike of
themselves. It is thus vital that
parents repeatedly let their child
know that they love them
regardless of their
behaviour.

Noticing and commenting on good

behaviour as well as praising a child
when one sees that an effort is
being made, however small,
everytime it happens can really
help.

Dont assume a child is simply lazy

or defiant. When failures occur,
ones comments need to always be
constructive.

For example, if a child loses an

especially precious toy and cannot
find it, rather than tell them off
for not keeping their toys tidy, it
would be better to agree together
on a good place for the toy to be
put so that it can be more easily
found the next time.

If a child is expected to succeed,

they probably will. A child who is
expected to fail will too.

Provide your child with statements

of approval, praise
or positive feedback.

Here are some ideas (Barkley, 2000)

Super
I like it when
Its nice when you
Fantastic.
You sure are a big girl/boy for
That was terrific the way you

Terrific
Nice going
Great job
Wow, you sure act grown up when
you.
You know six months ago, you couldnt
do that as well as you do now, you are
really growing up fast.

 I am very proud of you when you

What a nice thing to do
Wait until I tell .how well youve
done
Beautiful.
Wow!
You did that all by
yourself.way to go!

If words dont come easily, try some

nonverbal signs of approval a hug,
pat on the head or shoulder, placing
an arm around a child, smiling,
giving a thumbs up or a wink.
Barkley, 2000

Involve the whole family!

Involve the whole family in helping to
find solutions, since ADHD behaviour
affects everyone.
Family meetings on how to deal with a
specific problem can be helpful. Only
discuss one problem at a time!

Handle Jealousy
In a family, a child with ADHD will
most likely get the most attention.
As a result, other children in the
family may acquire negative
behaviour patterns and the message
is given that only bad behaviour gets
attention.

It is thus very important for parents

to make sure that each child in their
family gets the attention they
deserve. Non ADHD children also
need opportunity to voice how they
feel in order that their views are also
seen as important and that they
matter too!

Giving children the attention they

need
Scheduling dedicated parent and
individual child time on a regular basis
can be very helpful.
In this way one is able to give a child a
whole meal of attention and they are
less likely to keep snacking on you
(particularly in negative ways) during
the day!

 Child below nine years: choose a 20

minute time that is your special
time.
For school children after school or
supper may be good.
If your child is preschool after you
have dropped the other children
off. It is important that no
other children are involved.

 If your child is older, you dont

need to set a time, just find a time
when your child is enjoying a play
activity and ask if you can join in.
Dont try and control the play, just
relax and watch for a few minutes.

After watching a while you can begin to

describe out loud what your child is
doing. Dont ask questions or give
commands as these can be disruptive.
Only ask questions if you are unsure of
what your child is doing.

This is your childs special time to

enjoy your attention, not to teach or
take over the childs play. Occasionally
give your child statements of positive
feedback.

Some additional suggestions:

Create a daily routine for your child
for example, homework, bedtime,
mealtime routines.

Clear communication is important

Be specific in your instructions, and
make clear and reasonable requests
Ask your child what will help and
communicate honestly and clearly with
your child.

Have clear and easily understood

boundaries and expectations
Rules make life predictable and
therefore safe for children. These
should be few, clearly stated and
repeated often. It is very confusing
for a child to be told different
things by different caregivers.
If possible, have rules visible.

Be consistent in your handling of

your child
Reward your childs good behaviour
quickly and often

Use sanctions (eg loss of privileges)

for unacceptable behaviour or
overstepping of boundaries
Remove disturbing or disruptive
elements from their daily routine
Encourage and praise your
childs good behaviour!!!!!

Let yourself be playful, have fun, be

unconventional.
Children with ADHD love novelty

Its okay to admit that you are

uncertain about something/Its okay
to ask questions!
Seek information.
Evaluate Information.

Be open to trying new ways.

Seek out and underscore success as
much as possible.

Praise
Encouragement

Remember
Bringing up a child with ADHD may be
the hardest thing you ever have to
do.

But if you rise to the challenge,

raising a child with ADHD can provide
a tremendous opportunity for
fulfillment as a parent, as you watch
the direct investment of time and
energy pay off in the happiness and
well being of your child. To know
that you are needed by such a child
can bring a deeper purpose to your
life than many other things can
do.
Barkley, 2000

References and Resources

Barkley, R (2000) Taking charge of ADHD:
the complete, authoritative guide for
parents, The Guilford Press, New York.
Faber, A. & Mazlish, E (1999) How to talk so
kids will listen and listen so kids will talk.
London: Piccadilly Press.
http://www.addandadhd.co.uk
http://www.addresources.org