My Personal Lament

Kyler Barr
Oh Lord my God, I know that you are awesome and mighty!
You are our great rescuer and redeemer.
You brought the Israelites out of Egypt by your strong hand.
Why, oh Lord, have you not shown your might in coming to my defense?
God, you are truth.
Why have you allowed those who stand against me to continue believing lies?
I have sought to do what is right in your eyes.
I have shown your love and followed your lead, oh Lord.
Why does the wrongdoing of others continue to plague me?
I cannot share the truth with those who are hurting.
This truth is not mine to share.
I cannot give an answer to those who assume I have acted unjustly.
This answer his not mine to give.
Help me, oh Lord. Those in my care are hurting!
Oh that this were all that plagues me!
Whenever I start to find peace, something else goes wrong!
Everything around me is falling apart!
But you, oh Lord, are the firm foundation.
When all else falls apart, you remain my refuge.
You are my hope. You are my answer.
Though others turn against me, you never will!
Therefore, I will place my trust in you.
I will trust you to be my defender.
God, rescue me in my distress. Protect those who are hurting.
Protect me from the wrongdoing of others.
Speak for me when I cannot speak for myself.
Shine your light of truth into the darkness that surrounds me!
Thank you, oh Lord, for I know you have heard my cry.
You are faithful and just.
When life is overwhelming and the truth seems lost,
You are always enough. You are all that I need.
I will sing your praises all of my days.
Whatever happens, I will praise you for you are good.
God deliver me in my struggle for the sake of your great name!

Explanation- This lament was written in reflection upon a very difficult period of
ministry. There were problems among the church leadership and youth leadership that I
could not share, but they were greatly impacting the rest of the youth staff and the
teens. I was being attacked personally by some within the church because they could tell
something was wrong that was impacting student ministry, but they could not tell what it
was. On top of that, there was a false accusation from a parent about how our youth
team had handled a situation. This accusation lingered for months before it came out in
the open and could be dealt with. It was unknown to me for a long time. Beyond even
that, our house had flooded so we were living with my parents, our third son had just
been born and had awful reflux so he was not sleeping, and several other things were
going wrong. Things were just beginning to add up.