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Arousal-Blueprint
Arousal-Blueprint
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The Only Program You Will Ever Need to Finally Get Your Dating Life Handled
PATRICK ARMEN
How to Finally Be Happy
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14
APPROACHING
19
CHRIS BALE
The Effortless Way To Attraction
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23
DATING
39
CHRIS BALE
How I Went From Lovable Loser to Dating
3 Women a Week
40
46
53
55
59
RELATIONSHIPS
61
ASHLEY SHREVE
The Only Way to Connect With Her for Life
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69
ASHLEY SHREVE
Steps to a Solid Phone Number
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75
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SEXUALITY
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PATRICK ARMEN
How To Be The Bad boy She Craves
The Most Important Element Most Men Are Missing: Moxie
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INTRODUCTION
I was not handsome... But I possessed something far greater than looks
- Casanova
Welcome gentlemen
The first step of your journey begins today.
CHAPTER 1
CHAPTER 2
How much are you willing to sacrifice to get what you want in life?
If I were to tell you, for a fact, that you can have anything you want - absolutely anything, how high
a price would you pay? Would you take the pain? Would you endure criticism, embarrassment,
laughter, abandonment, hurt and much, much more?
The master has failed more times than the student has even tried.
Its all about focus. Everything in your life - who you are, who you want to be, the things you say,
your successes, your failures, everything - is a result of where you choose to place your attention.
The one trait all great men of history have shared was their remarkable ability to place their attention
where they want it to be, instead of on the things they do not want.
What that means is this: after eliminating clutter, there are only 2 things that exist; where you are
standing now, and what you want.
I want you to remember for a second the last time you spoke to a woman. Try to remember what
happened. You saw her, thats where your attention went. Then, you wondered if she was single,
thats another place your attention went. You thought about what was the right time to go up there,
thats another place your attention went. Then you thought about the best thing to say, another place
your attention went. As you walked over, you worried about what her friends might think and if it
would be better to befriend them first, another place your attention went. When speaking to her, you
were worried about what she thought of you, another place your attention went. Whats the score?
Thats 6 places in which your attention is divided.
For the great seducers, there is only one place their attention can be found: on the object of their
desire.
The great seducers have no interest in the opinions of others, its a waste of energy. They have no
interest in men who hover around women, they are flies to be swatted away - a minor annoyance.
No, for these men, God himself would have to come down and stand between them and their desire.
others, tactics, lines, tricks - all of it, is just a waste of focus. It truly is the key to character, the key
to charisma. When your focus becomes unshakable, nothing will be out of your reach. No feat will be
too incredible.
Focus is what builds strength, it is what will keep you afloat when times are tough and things are not
going where you want them to. Through a concerted effort and daily repetition, you can turn your
focus away from what isnt going right, and towards what you want. Through daily repetition, you
train yourself to focus like a monk, and you will build yourself into an unstoppable titan. Success
then becomes a simple matter of reaching out and taking what is already yours.
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CHAPTER 3
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enjoyable than not speaking to them. Thats where it gets to be quite personal.
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what you need to say or do - you are one of the great seducers of the world, all of that will come
to you in due time. Just focus on your feet; one step, next step, next step And before you know
it, you are deep in conversation with an incredibly stunning woman, soaking up her divine feminine
energy and just basking in the refreshing feeling of being surrounded with beauty.
When you learn to become present, confidence is an afterthought. There is nothing to fear, and
everything to gain. Through presence, you learn to trust yourself.
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CHAPTER 4
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some fluke like their looks, even though all it really takes to be handsome is to hit the gym for a few
months, whiten your teeth, get a new haircut and dress slightly better.
I can go on about this for a while but the point is simple: That guy never progressed because he
never took the time to challenge himself, to confront his demons and face his fears. He played it
small and stayed small, gradually filling with bile and hatred towards those who surpassed him. Hes
not a unique example either - the seduction and self-development industries are littered with people
just like him.
So if you want to just learn some lines and how to tactics then by all means, skip ahead, just bear
in mind the kind of fate that awaits those who feel they are above the process. Lines and tactics just
become a band-aid, a substitute for never fixing your real issues and thus, never graduating into true
manhood.
Still with me? Good.
Do you know what the difference is between situational confidence and core confidence? If you
were to step into the same scary nightclub every night for a year, it would start to feel like home
Right? Now what happens if I take you and shove you into an entirely new place? Just like that, the
confidence you felt at the first nightclub will have evaporated and you have to start from scratch.
A lot of people have situational confidence - and thats not a bad thing either. Go out, as often as
possible and in different situations, experience as much as possible. However, the truly sustainable
way is to achieve core confidence.
Core confidence is more difficult to grasp, but there is one existing hack to jumpstart your core
confidence. In a nutshell, core confidence can only exist through minimizing of the ego. Look at
what we covered in chapter one - being happy for the sake of being happy. That was an exercise in
minimizing the ego. The ego is the because, it is the rationalizing goblin that will constantly seek to
compare you to others, to diminish you or validate you depending on the situation. Wise men spend
lifetimes meditating to conquer the ego, but you dont have to conquer it - you must simply learn to
diminish it.
Through love.
Thats the secret ingredient that will jumpstart your core confidence. Its always been about love.
Think about it; ego is a reason. I feel good because Im good with women. Im good with women
because I went on a date with Jenna last week. My friends think Im cool because I know all
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the good spots in the city. I am attractive to women because I go to the gym every week. I am
interesting to women because I have a 6 figure income. As long as this because exists, you will live
at the mercy of others.
The ego is the fulfilment of an unspoken contract between you and society. I will live by your rules,
and in return you give me validation and an identity when I behave.
Fuck that.
When you refuse to play by those rules - when you annul the unspoken contract, you take a giant
leap towards living like a lion.
The moment you are unafraid of the crowd you are no longer a sheep, you become a
lion. A great roar arises in your heart, the roar of freedom
- Osho
And how do we take that first step? By removing the because and learning to live in love. How do
we remove the because? By simply letting go.
In order to love, you must first let go.
Dont resist it, dont fight it, dont push against it - just let go. Let it all drop, let it all fall away. Let go
of what no longer serves you. Youve played societys game for far too long and it hasnt gotten you
anywhere near where you want to be, so just drop it.
Letting go is about no longer clinging, and trusting in yourself, the process, and that the world is as it
should be. This is your challenge - to take a step off the wobbly throne of the ego and begin to tiptoe
your way onto the unshakable foundations of your true inner strength, core confidence. Just let go
and stop clinging!
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love women if you view them as a prize to be acquired and conquered. You cannot love women if
you cling and hoard and get jealous. You cannot cling to them.
Has it ever happened to you that you finally managed to get a woman to like you, and so you
crashed down onto her like a smothering tsunami, sacrificing your life, your passions, your dreams
to make her stay with you? Do you clench up if a man speaks to your woman? Do you get nervous
and anxious when she goes out with her friends?
The true lover is in love with his own love of women.
This is the secret to that core confidence. This is the key to being able to walk across the room, in
front of everyone, looking deep into her eyes and literally making her fall in love with you. At night,
during the day, in a mall, at a business meeting - wherever.
When a man who truly loves women walks into a room, they feel it right away, they all do.
This is what distinguishes the great men of history from the nobodies and mediocre average Joes.
The true seducer is so in love with women that he is in love with his own love of women.
Practically, what does this look like? He knows that speaking to a stunning woman is nothing scary,
nor is it something he needs to defend or explain. He is a great lover, nothing more to it. When he
speaks to women, he does not look for anything in return and instead, is constantly ensuring that
she feels incredibly beautiful and unique in his eyes. If she were to be rude to him, he would simply
smile to himself, knowing it to be just girls being girls. Nothing to worry about there. All women are
beautiful, everyone is art.
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When did it become shameful to be a man? When did our finding women to be incredibly beautiful
become something we had to hide and be ashamed of?
Loving beautiful women is what we do. It is what nature intended us to do, it is what we are
programmed to do. Own it. Stand with your two feet on the ground and own who you are.
I am a man. I love women. I will not make excuses for who I am. I owe no apology or explanation.
What others think of me is not my business. Everyone has the right to invite, everyone has the right
to refuse. If you are a beautiful woman, I will walk right up to you without shame and show you that a
real man still exists on this earth - that we are not extinct. You dont have to like me and that is your
right, but I will show up as a man.... Every. Single. Time.
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CHAPTER 1
20
Those 3 words are the most common verbalizations I hear from women who have aborted an
interaction, date, or relationship with a guy.
It does not matter if you look like George Clooney or Andy Dick, once you have engaged in an
interaction, the playing field is even.
Either stimulate her emotions from a deep understanding of the feminine, or you failed to do your job
and fulfil your role.
I am not the best looking guy, so once I realized that truth, everything opened up to me, and the
prospect of dating the hottest women became a solid reality.
The key to Effortless Attraction is first understanding what women react to on a deep biological level,
then stripping EVERYTHING else back, only delivering the bare raw necessities.
This is what I have honed over the previous few years. If you were to see me interacting with a girl, I
would not even pop up on your radar. I would be chill, laid back, not hugely expressive, pretty quiet,
not talking much, and just listening.
Although I would pop up on your radar when you see me walking with her to the toilet after 10
minutes to have sex.
My seduction style is simplistic, discreet, but INTENSE for her. Its like a bubble. A sexual energy
bubble.
Most guys assume not having anything to say is the worst thing in the world. Men loathe the idea of
having an awkward silence. What if I was to tell you that those moments of silence, combined with
sexual eye contact could be your most powerful tool EVER.
As I have stated above, men are attracted to physical beauty, women are attracted to emotional
stimulation/fluctuation. She basks in feeling of uncertainty, moments of pressure. This is all the
opposite of the least sexy qualities such as predictability, and emotional boredom.
Every other guy spends his time filling every silence with a forced funny or witty story. He stays in the
one lane of making sure she feels one emotion consistently, in most cases this is a boring comfort.
This is where social conversation lies.
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When a man comes along who gets it, and I mean really gets it, he can begin to give her what her
bored femininity is craving. Excitement, induced through a range of fluttering and intense emotions,
which are all the manifestation of working with the already present sexual tension.
We are taught to avoid this at all costs because it feels weird or too intense. It is your job as a man
to create it, sit in it, apply it and release it when you feel she needs. This must always be catered to
each woman specifically as we all have different levels of comfort ability. This comes with the more
you practice it and witness the different reactions you receive from different women.
Awareness! You must be aware of her. Whether you realise it or not, she is telling you in every
moment how she wants and likes to be seduced. You must really listen to her. NOT necessarily to
the words she says, but instead to how she is FEELING about the things she is talking about.
Question her on her emotions. Then leave space with silence for her to respond.
If you can combine this with sexual eye contact, a slow resonant vocal tone(with pauses), looking
at her lips, and consistently pushing forward via touch escalation, you my friend, will learn and
experience so much of what she has to offer.
It is not about the amount of things you say and do, its about the tension that comes from not doing
them, and the silence it leaves between the gaps.
If I could give you any starting advice it would be to cut down all the words you are saying by at least
70% and leave her do the talking and investing. This leads to her sharing more, and being a part of
the seduction. A woman must in most cases open up to some degree in order to trust you enough
and feel comfortable enough to allow you see her naked and enjoy her.
Remember seduction is not something you do to another person, it is a dance, with both involved
intertwining, being polarizing to one another, and in a way dancing.
This brings me to the next part...
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CHAPTER 2
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Yes, even the high class lawyer woman, the CEO of a multi-national company who draws from her
masculine side all day. Yes, even the church girl, and the die hard feminist. Yes the older lady who
you see walking her dog every day.
They are all women. They all have desires and fantasies.
If you have the belief there are good girls and bad girls, the lady and the whore, the prudes and the
sluts, then you must lose this immediately as it is only hindering your ability to deliver.
Every woman has a good side, a slut side, a kinky side, and a side where she will choose not to
sleep with this particular guy for 5 dates. The reason for all of these sides is completely down to the
freedom and the reality you have constructed for yourself.
If you feel weird about escalating and giving her hot kinky sex in the bathroom of the club, or in the
restaurant, or in the middle of a park...then guess what, your reality is not strong enough for her to
go along with you and trust you.
If you want to be her fantasy, you must OWN your intentions. The security and trust you have in
yourself will allow her to experience and express that with you.
It has become novelty to my friends, and many of whom have witnessed me meeting a girl of any
social background, and quickly after meeting her, having sex in a toilet or bathroom. I have went by
the name Mr Toilet on many humorous occasions.
How do I do this? I own my desire and I know my role within her life and the seductive dynamic. It
just so happens in most public places, the most private location, is indeed the bathroom. It has a
lock after all :-)
Once you have come to grips with these facts, you can then go about granting this freedom,
liberation, and release to her and other women you meet on a regular basis. Words such as
spontaneous, passionate, and overwhelming come to mind when I question myself on what
emotions and feelings I evoke in her.
Here are some of the most important pillars to setting her free from sexual mediocrity:
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crowd, and copy everyone else. What I am really saying is be your authentic self via honesty and
acceptance of your masculine raw desires. Remember, she WANTS to be desired. This makes her
feel like a sexy and Impactful woman.
For example, naturally, I am a very laid back, chilled and introverted guy. I am not hugely expressive
in terms of emotions, meaning I am not up and down like a yo-yo.
I dont smile or laugh if I have nothing to smile or laugh about.
Society use these friendly smiles as a coping mechanism, and dish out thousands of forced
expressions a day. Seriously...what the fuck are you smiling at?
With this in mind, when I walk up to a woman, I am not like the previous 400 people she has
interacted with. Im not necessarily smiling, Im so calm that one would see it as unusually calm, and
this alone creates a tension which turns sexual very quickly.
When Im interacting with a woman, my presence jolts her. I wake her up and snap her out of autopilot, she has no choice.
So, the message is, stop following the crowd. If youre happy, be happy. If youre tired, be tired.
You need not try to impress anybody...because the rest of your surroundings has the job firmly under
control, doing everything in their power to be liked and accepted. Be your unique renegade. He
exists within you. If this means you have to buy a new leather jacket to feel like a bit of a sexual bad
ass...do it!
2. Be Sexual
From the get-go, you must be ok with the fact you have a penis and you want to have sex with
women.
You must be ok with your desires. If that is your issue right now, then remedy this by verbalizing
them. You will eventually be comfortable with your cock.
You must have complete trust in the process. You must trust that all you really need to do in order to
have sex with that already horny and sexually frustrated woman is to show up.
Thats it.
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3: Develop Indifference
Not only is indifference hugely important when interacting with and seducing a woman, it is also very
beneficial in how you interact with your lifes circumstances.
If you are afraid of losing every woman you are talking to by saying something possibly too forward,
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or stupid etc, then you will never be able to take her all the way. You must be willing to risk it.
PLEASE STOP TAKING THIS SO SERIOUSLY!! Your results will improve quadruple-fold!
This includes touching her, going for the kiss, taking her home or to a random public location, how
you speak to her and what you say.
The greatest tool to help you stay indifferent to your current situation is meditation. It trains you to be
in the moment, and nowhere else. This detaches you from negative what if thought patterns, and
allows you to act impulsively with her in the moment. Being present is the be all and end all to every
aspect of seduction. How do you expect to make her feel sexy if you are in a state of over analytical
worry, dissecting every sentence you are about to say? Luckily, the presence was covered in the first
section of this book. Its up to you to put it into practice.
Stop worrying so much. Focus on her!
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Enjoy the texture of her body Her curves, her skin, everything! There is no such thing as too direct
as long as once you touch her, you respect her response. If she removes your hand or steps back,
fine, give her a while and test the waters again, she may just not be ready.
If she says nothing, and doesnt respond, but allows you to continue touching her, this is a GREEN
LIGHT. She is passively giving you permission to continue.
I love to hold her hand for an extended period of time directly on meeting. Ill simply hold it until she
takes it away. Other areas I touch are her lower back, arm, wrist, neck and brushing her hair behind
her ear, upper thighs etc.
Remember that you are there to turn her on, not mind her. Your touch should become increasingly
more sexual the more she passively accepts.
Approaching
No matter how long you have been involved in seduction, game or pick-up, the concept of
approaching is always the first hurdle for every man to face. That is exactly how it is designed and
sold to men all over the world, as a hurdle. Something to win at or beat.
When I think of the word approach, I equate it with sneaking up on a dangerous animal, somewhere
where you have danger as an opponent. A situation where you have something to lose, but if you do
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Every time you see a girl youre attracted to, and want to speak to, but dont, out of fear of
rejection youre actually rejecting yourself!
How many times a day do you reject yourself?
Surely rejecting yourself is far more terrifying than a complete stranger who knows nothing about
you? In my mind having her reject me is far less damaging than me rejecting myself.
I couldnt forgive myself for such behavior. I love me. Do you love you? If not...work on that first.
Because realistically you are all you have.
Opening comes from love and curiosity. I always say that my consistent success with women and
my ability to seduce her comes from my genuine curiosity about who she is and how she wants to
be seduced.
Love and fear cannot exist at the same time.
When you go up to open her, you are giving her the greatest gift she can receive from ANY man. She
wants to be opened by a man who wants to open her - who wants her to open up to his invitation.
Are you that man?
If so, be excited. It is very easy!
There are 2 components to opening. The percentages come from my experience of interacting with
thousands of women.
I saw this very cute girl hurdling down the street, looking, well, just really American. She wasnt, but it
never matters anyway.
I was very physically attracted to her, therefore meaning endlessly curious about her, so I instantly
checked in and became aware of my physical body, feeling my feet on the ground to magnify my
presence and ground myself.
Then, with this very relaxed, chilled, and strong vibe, I walked up alongside her and said slowly and
resonantly:
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Direct is not about the words you say, its about why you are there and the permission you give
yourself to be there.
Handing her your testicles and purpose on a plate in the form of a bland, lazy, and overwhelmed
compliment on her physical beauty is not what she wants.
Although, if you struggle to tell a girl you find her attractive, then I would advise you to go and do
that as much as you can for a few weeks in order to re-connect yourself to your desire. It will be a
reminder of how you are allowing yourself to like girls, and also let them know.
If and when you can verbalize your desire easily, Instead, why not share with her something original
to you, such as your presence, or your light-hearted humour.
Combine both of these together and what youre giving her is a gift. A non-objectifying gift.
If you are not endlessly observant and curious about attractive girls you see in your daily life, you are
most likely feeling fear and anxiety.
Shift your focus to being curious...notice things. Anxiety cannot exist alongside observant curiosity.
To be observant means to be fully aware and involved in the specific person or environment.
Your greatest verbal opener is your curiosity about her. ONCE IT IS GENUINE and not pre-planned
or designed in a secret pick-up lab.
I stopped a stunning Mexican girl recently, wearing this beautiful white linen summer dress combined
with brown sandals and a pink flower in her hair...what could that possibly tell me about her? NO,
not that she is cute, or hot or fuckable. The first words I said were - You look really expressive? If
you meditate and also practice yoga, you may be perfect wife material.
Question her on what you assume about her. Its much more genuine and strong than a bland lazy
generic compliment. There is a time and a place for physical compliments!
If she is hot, she knows this, and she has been told this by MANY men since she hit puberty.
She is never opened up genuinely and asked about who she is by a curious and calm man.
If you open from a grounded place, with clear relaxed intent Women do not walk away or ignore
you. The majority of clients I get, even those who have already went through boot camps with big
pick-up companies, absolutely SUCK at opening, because, guess what They are walking up to
APPROACH HER, like the dangerous animal she is.
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Really?
95% of girls SHOULD be stopping and NOT ignoring you and walking off.
Hopefully, at this stage, you will be understanding that opening a woman is more about your
internal beliefs surrounding what you are doing. The level of comfort will come from the amount of
permission you are giving yourself to show up as a man.
Lets get to the nuts and bolts of opening.
Before you even think about interacting with a woman, it is very important that you assess what your
intentions are for wanting to even start the interaction.
This could be for many reasons, such as learning about how women interact and what they respond
to, wanting to kiss pretty girls, get to know someone interesting, find a girlfriend, or casual sex.
Figure out which it is, and then give yourself full permission as a man, to go for exactly what you
want, making no apology and owning who you are and what you want.
The above is all vitally important and will separate you from the hoards of men who approach women
without decisive direction, and get lost in a directionless interaction.
What this means, is when you see that beautiful brunette strutting down the street, give yourself full
permission to interact with her.
Some beliefs that helped me start interactions with women when I was first focusing on this area of
my life:
Sex is still such a taboo in society and many men are chained within the social belief that sex is a
negative thing. The truth, is that we are all sexual creatures, and sex is the most beautifully wonderful
and intimate act we can partake in, so celebrate this.
Let go of the negative beliefs. Embrace your sexual side and share it respectfully and consciously
with whomever inspires you.
Lets talk through the most essential and powerful steps to truly opening a woman.
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1: External Awareness:
The biggest issue for most men is the feeling of anxiety and over-analytical thinking, which leads to
inaction.
This is due to a made up imaginary scenario which is self created, where all the worst things in the
world will occur, and Armageddon will quickly ensue, resulting in the entire nightclub burning down,
all because you said hello to a pretty girl.
As a man who has opened women in practically every social situation, I can assure you the worst
case scenario is NEVER the reality, and even if I am rejected, it is completely painless and
empowers me as a man who takes positive action in his life.
Therefore realize your mind is not your friend in this case.
The quickest way to fix this detrimental pattern is to move your awareness from your own selfish
thoughts to the girl, and how she may be feeling.
A good exercise I recommend is to walk around in a busy area making assumptions, verbalizing
what you are picking up from complete strangers.
A woman may be sitting on a bench reading a book. How might she be feeling? How does she look?
Her expression? Her mood?
This is hugely beneficial for 2 reasons.
starting a conversation).
Just yesterday I saw a girl walking very fast down the street. This, to most men is a red flag not to
approach as they assume their presence will bother her. This is very arrogant of you to assume. So
I jogged up beside her and said You...look like youre training for a marathon, which was met with
a giggle, and her expressing how she likes to walk fast to stay warm. You see, I have just learned
something about her.
This is my version of what I like to call an observational verbal opener.
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It is beautiful, because you are not approaching her in a stranger to stranger dynamic, telling her she
is the most beautiful woman in the world; basically asking her to make a decision on whether she
likes you in a split second of seeing you, whilst simultaneously projecting that you dont care what
type of person she is. Her superficial beauty states she is enough for you already...weak!
When you make an observation on her emotional state, you in a way slide directly into an emotional
connective conversation with her, which then can lead to you both sharing parts of who you are,
without the added pressure of do you like me yet?
Of course, it is still a good thing to compliment her on an aspect of her personality which you find
attractive once youre speaking with her. There is nothing wrong with telling her how sexy her walk
is, or how cute her energy is when she smiles. It is something she has input in, unlike her perfect
bone structure which was handed down from her parents (something she is reminded of by every
other over-eager guy).
I really believe this is why my seductions are so consistent. I see a girl, make a comment, draw her
in with my presence and intent, and before we know it, we are intertwined in an organically flowing
seduction, based on the fact we are both enjoying each others company, which is much different
when you are approaching a girl to get her number. How do you possibly know you want to continue
interacting with her if you have not even spoken to her yet?
So, to recap on step one:
See a girl
feel weird sensation in your body (anxiety)
Push your focus externally by studying her mood.
2: Internal Awareness
Once you have pushed you awareness out and read where she may be at in her day/life, you then
must become aware of your physical body in order to open and enter her presence with purpose.
The guys who do not check themselves energetically before beginning an interaction, end up
bouncing in like drunk babies or over-eager stuttering puppies.
I simply put my awareness to my feet and imagine they are kissing the ground.
I slow my movements down, staying focused not on what I am going to say (which never really
matters anyway), but instead focused on my feet kissing the ground as I put one in front of the other.
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=This is a technique I learned practicing and studying Qigong, which would also be of benefit to you
in terms of lifestyle.
The basis of putting your awareness in your feet, means it stops you living in your mind, where really
it is going against you most of the time and winning.
Live in your feet as much as possible.
When I open a girl in my feet, I am present, powerful, grounded, un-reactive, and ultimately chilled
and nonchalant about what Im doing/saying. Which in-turn allows her to trust you. You are being
your authentic self.
So, to recap from step 1-2:
See a girl
feel weird sensation in your body (anxiety)
Push your focus externally by studying her mood..
Shift your awareness to your physical body
direct your focus to your feet
Walk towards girl, kissing the ground with your feet (before you know it you are in front
of her)
3: Delivery:
How you show up to a woman, and deliver who you are, is seen through many different aspects of
your communication. Luckily, by following the previous two steps, you are already in a much more
attractive place than the majority of men. Keep in mind that 80% of communication is expressed
through your non-verbals.
Body language - I move slowly and with purpose.
Eye contact - Strong, clear, and direct, looking into ONE eye. I always go with her left.
Voice - The way you express your words tells people pretty much everything they need to know
about how you feel about yourself, and your opinion of yourself in relation to the world. Seriously!
Most guys speak too fast and try and get all their words out quickly, combining this with a high
pitched vocal tone.
Around women the speed triples. This depicts nervousness, reactiveness, and a poor internal self-
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image. What you must realize is that not only does this make you even more nervous, but makes the
woman feel nervous for you.
Luckily, with some practice you can solve this and have it work for you.
Practice how you speak and give attention to your voice. It is one of your most powerful instruments.
When I first open a girl, I say one word, be it Hello, or excuse me...then I shut up.
I do not continue until I get her full attention and eye contact. This immediate space I offer allows
her to react to my presence and I can then respond effectively, rather than steam rolling her with a
gigantically drawn out verbal opener or pick-up line.
Keep it simple.
When I speak to a woman, I speak clearly, unrushed, and in a resonant tonality.
This will be fed through your own feedback loop, and your body language/vibe will stay chill.
You will feel grounded, allowing her to feel relaxed in the sense that you got this, and that she can
trust you, as the man, to guide the awkward initial moments of interacting with a stranger.
When men approach all jacked-up in fight or flight, even if she likes you, she will feel the
uncomfortable negative tension, and will want to get away from it in any way she can.
Forget about building comfort by being comfortable, you make others comfortable in your
presence.
If you follow the above guide, it really does not matter what you say as your vibe will say it all, and
that is what is truly sexy and seductive.
So, from the top:
See a girl
feel weird sensation in your body (anxiety)
Push your focus externally by studying her mood with curiosity
Shift your awareness to your physical body
direct your focus to your feet
Walk towards girl, kissing the ground with your feet (before you know it you are in front
of her)
Slow down movements and gestures
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The more you practice the above, the more you can forget about it as it becomes a natural part of
your personality. You are either seductive or youre not. Be seductive!
If at any point you find yourself thinking analytically, or feeling nervous, this is due to lack of
presence. Simply drop your focus to the soles of your feet, engage eye contact again, and your
presence will deepen.
Enjoy the process and have fun.
Go open the women of the world!
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I did not want to make people sick with how sad it was, so I
slapped a giant grin across my face as I was so used to doing,
to hide the sadness and depression that characterized my life
at that time.
I rang in 2010 with a deep and profound realization...I do not fucking care anymore.
I spent the previous years of my life under immense stress to be 50 different people, depending on
what I felt would make the individual like me the most. I had completely lost any idea of who I was,
or who I might be. This resulted in my immune system packing in and my getting very ill on a regular
basis with swollen glands in my neck. I put this down to all the frustration and anger towards life
building up in my throat.
I had the epiphany that nothing is worth this pain, anxiety, depression, and consistent loneliness.
How on earth did I expect any woman to be with me if I did not even know who me was?
I had two options, to end it all, as nothing was worth continuing this agony, or deciding to try one
more thing...stop giving a fuck and be the guy who has nothing to lose.
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As I was so terrified of what people thought of me and if they liked me or not, this was the first issue
I had to deal with. How? By making an agreement with myself.
If I felt angry...BE ANGRY! Dont hide it. I gave myself permission to be a grumpy asshole.
I had bottled up SO much shit for years that when I began to do this...the old Chris everybody knew,
disappeared. I was no longer that forcefully smiley guy. I stopped attempting to force my naturally
introverted self to be extroverted. I stopped being accommodating to everyone, and I chose to be
entirely selfish, and first look after myself.
Now, I am in no way telling you to go and do all this. Because I am pretty sure you are not as
damaged as I was.
My Seductive Epiphany
Through the process of allowing myself to feel and express, something happened. I lost friends I had
for many years. Why? Because I no longer filled my role within the group dynamic. I moved on.
By that time, I had also stopped with all the pick-up lines, routines, and canned stuff I had been
learning and trying out for a few years during my damaged phase. I got very limited results, and
when I decided to really stop caring, that was when I stopped caring about trying to get girls to like
me.
I truly believed I was hideously unattractive both physically, and as a man. I didnt even feel like a
man. I felt like a scared little boy.
So, along with all the other safety nets in my life, I threw my pick-up books, videos, and
paraphernalia away, and gave up. No more girls for Chris, I didnt deserve them. Thats how I felt.
My seductive epiphany came one night as I was sitting in the corner of a dark bar, on my own, in
Ireland.
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I was by myself, oozing a pissed off vibe...but an incredibly free and pissed off vibe. I did not care
who saw me, how they felt about me, or what they call me. I was content in my pissed off state, with
zero pressure on me to do anything. I left my pain at the door on New Years Eve. As I said, nothing
was worth it.
As I poured whiskey down my throat, I noticed there was a girl standing opposite me with some
friends. She was beautiful, but I didnt care. I remember thinking I would totally fuck her, but I dont
even care anymore.
This was coming from a place of giving up. Letting go. I was not prepared to go and try to do stuff
or take on a particular behaviour in order to impress her. That caused me pain and confusion in the
past where after all my pick-up efforts never paid off, and plus, she was way too fucking pretty for
me anyway.
We made eye contact quite a bit over the space of about an hour. It was in a very matter of fact way,
with me asking myself why the hell does she keep looking at me, piss off.
I went to the bathroom, came back to my table, and over she strutted.
She said hi with a warm smile.
I said Hey, in a very confused way. I was waiting for her to ask me if she and her friends could take
my table. This was not the case!
She looked at me square in the eye and asked if she could sit down. I said yes, in a suspicious
manner.
She extended her hand and I shook it. At this point she stood up from across the table, and came
and sat down beside me on the couch. She was very persistent in asking me why I was there on my
own.
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I was very matter-of-fact about everything. I told her I did not want to speak to anyone, thats why
I am in the corner. The conversation went very deep very fast. Before I knew it, I began to get
genuinely curious about her as a person, and started to ask her questions.
Fast forward two hours later, and her friends had left her with me. I had explained to her in depth
why I was the way I was, and the agreement I had made with myself. In turn, she told me lots about
herself. I respected and appreciated many parts of her, and actually forgot that she was anHB9.
Out of nowhere...Chris, you have no idea how horny you are making me, I want to go home with
you.
I did NOTHING!
I had nothing to prove, therefore I did nothing, and guess what, she found that sexy, honest, strong,
deep, and safe. She felt safe with me.
That night I was brought home by the most attractive women I had ever spoken to up to that point in
my life. We had sex...the first time in about 2 years.
To this day, that is the most valuable experience I have ever had. Without that, I do not know where I
would be now, or what I would be doing.
I stayed on the path of letting it all go, and staying in a given up state. What this did for me was
allow me to never even feel the need to try and get a woman or convince her to like me. I was who I
was, I felt how I felt, and I expressed it internally, without care.
I started as INCREDIBLY verbally direct which I then began to refine the more women I experienced
and questioned on why they were with me. I began to smooth out the edges so to speak.
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The effortlessness of seduction was very annoying at the beginning. I thought you mean to tell me
I was lied to for my entire life by society on what I must do to get girls? I presumed I needed to
impress her, be her knight in shining armor, have the coolest clothes, the best lines and routines, the
most money, the best job, and so on and so forth.
I was moving through life like a scruff, with no money, no job, and yet I was taking very beautiful
women off socially handsome and high value men...effortlessly.
It seemed the internal freedom I granted myself was intoxicating. Women wanted to be around it
in any way they could. Its like they could smell it. I was being checked out constantly - Im talking
getting seriously eye-fucked by girls holding hands with their boyfriends.
I promised myself I would never again break who I am, just to please someone else.
I dedicated myself to me...which in turn, meant I could later share myself with the world and really
give, because I wanted to, not because I felt if I did it I would gain something in return. I didnt need
anything.
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This, in essence, is how I began to be with many women every week. Practically, of course, I had to
go and approach lots. This allowed me to refine everything which was incredibly uncalibrated.
Take what you will with my above experience, and come to your own conclusions of how it might
relate to your current situation, internally. It is the most important aspect of being truly successful
with women on a consistent basis.
You MUST be speaking to, interacting with, and questioning women on how you make them feel.
You deserve everything I do, and I deserve everything you do. Know this!
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down.
Social Conversation
This is the style of interacting you engage in on a daily basis as you go about your chores. It is
superficial in its essence, lacking any honesty or emotional expression.
Most of us have many different social personas which we fall into, depending on who we are
interacting with.
Let us say you are walking down the street on your lunch break and you bump into an old friend you
have not seen in a while.
In most cases there is a reason you have not seen them. Quite frankly, you arent very fond of them
and did not feel the need to stay in contact.
Bob:
You:
(Big smile) Im good how are you? (Your cat just died, youre devastated)
Bob:
Yeah Im great too. (Just got fired) Are you still living in bla bla street?
You:
Bob:
You:
Awesome. Listen I have to run, but it was great seeing you, we must go for a drink
soon (that will never ever happen).
Bob:
Yeah definitely, just drop me a text (no fucking way) See ya.
You:
Bye (all smiles , whilst muttering fucking prick under your breath)
So...
What the fuck was that? Was that you? HELL NO!
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We are being taught that quantity with sprinkles of quality is better than refined quality.
In seductive terms we can define it as this:
Quantity:
Factual/Intellectual stimulation
Quality:
Seductive Conversation
This is the polar opposite to social. Although it is not even discussed in most pick-up material.
You do not need 100 stories.
You do not need games or routines.
You do not have to be funny.
If women wanted to fuck clowns, we would all be graduated from clown college.
The difference between the fast-talking social man, and the devastatingly effortless ladies man, is
the social guy speaks at women whereas the ladies man speaks with women.
I want you to think about that. Really hard, right now. Whats the difference?
The social conversationalist shoots an array of verbal factual bullets which is a desperate attempt
to be impressive and stay afloat. Hoping that his prey drowns first and gives him the gratification of
entrance to her vagina. This will massage his delicate ego.
This is not sexy.
The seductive conversationalist, when speaking with a woman, knows that she is the only human
being that exists. He does not know her, what she likes, or how she wants to be seduced, so...he
questions her, pays attention to the ebb and flow of emotion. He literally feels her.
After all, it would be pretty ignorant of him not to. You dont need a manual, its right in front of you,
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Rather than having any structure or questions prepared, I allow the woman to be the manual on how
to seduce her. They are all inherently greatly different in their particular needs and wants, depending
on the mood, and time of their life they currently reside in.
You should be endlessly curious about women in general. So with this in mind, finding out who they
really are will be a very enjoyable process.
Stop asking her what she does. Find out why she does what she does. You see? Emotional
stimulation and connection are not intellectually based.
Here is an example of a seductive conversation:
You:
Her:
You:
Her:
Laura
You:
Her:
You:
Doing what?
Her:
Huh?
You:
Her:
You:
Her:
(speaks to break the tension) I am dressing 3 models today, who are all crazy, its
tough work
You:
Her:
You:
Her:
You:
Her:
You:
Her:
You:
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Look, the point is to allow her play within the social context of you. She wants to get a glimpse of the
type of man you are Blow her mind!
Once you are not a complete asshole, just a relaxed and authentic guy, she will most likely want to
see you again.
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understanding this core dynamic will help you in giving a woman what she truly desires.
Do NOT confuse this message with manipulation or playing games. This way of interacting with her
should be coming from a place of love and adoration for women everywhere. You understand her
enough to give her what she needs from you in order to feel satisfied, sexy, and feminine.
So, what you are telling us is to be assholes, treat women like shit, and never compliment them?
NO! This has nothing to do with treating a woman like shit, or feeling better or above her. Its coming
from sexual intelligence, and enhancing your male polarization.
Lets look at how this applies to being an authentic, honest, direct, and sexually unapologetic man.
Compliments
The direct school of thought, which is basically just a technique like indirect, is all about verbalizing
your attraction for her, in many cases in a balls out and over the top way in order to look boss-like
and super alpha.
Sure, you feel great at first, but as you continue, you realize very quickly it becomes a numbers
game.
I recommend for anyone starting out for the first few weeks, to go out, approach women and be
verbally direct, letting the woman know specifically what he finds attractive and sexy about her. This
is a great exercise as it re-connects you to your desire and reminds you of the fact you have a penis,
and that you find the opposite sex attractive.
This is in NO way a seductive tool I recommend necessarily for the long haul. Its very unintelligent,
and releases a lot of tension from an interaction.
Complimenting a woman in most cases feels amazing, its impressive, displays confidence, lets the
woman know what you want, BUT, especially if she is attractive and has heard it thousands of times
before, youre pretty much handing her your balls on a plate.
In her mind: Wow, thats so nice and brave of him, but meh, I already have him now.
You have handed the cat the ball of yarn...No chasing is needed on her part...so she leaves, and
maybe takes a nap.
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True Seduction
Seduction happens through tension and uncertainty, pressure and releasing. This is the string.
Rather than going in all guns blazing with precise compliments on everything that you desire about
her, it is much more effective to hold it back, and wait for the right time within the dynamic to verbally
express your desire. Having her in a state of confusion thinking does he, doesnt he? is what the
string represents.
You give her a little bit of yes, and a little bit of no. Never all, and never nothing.
In NO way am I saying be indirect, EVER. The fact you want nothing more than to devour her with
your sexual intimacy should be stated from the very second you lay your eyes on her via your
presence and vibe. The words are irrelevant. Verbal confirmation is basically like signing a contract.
Its definite, its clear, with no room to manoeuvre her emotions.
I am madly in love with women. I am so incredibly passionate about every morsel of feminine energy
in my life, that learning to hold back verbally was one of, and still is, one of the most difficult things I
have to do.
Only two nights ago, after having amazing sex with a girl, I was in the kitchen getting water, when
she emerged in her lacy black and red underwear, long thick blonde wavy hair draping down her
back, moving from her hips, coming towards me in a relaxed post-orgasmic haze, and she was in
that moment the most fucking INCREDIBLE woman I have ever seen, I literally felt emotional looking
at her. Overwhelmed by her feminine...in that moment all I wanted to do was to gush and tell her how
amazingly mind-blowingly beautiful, gorgeous, vibrant she was but, it was in no way needed, or
beneficial to her state.
She desired the present, silent, strong, sexually animalistic man in front of her. She then wrapped
herself around me to affectionately cuddle and take on her feminine essence.
Me speaking would not have granted her that. I am not selfish, and neither are you.
Instead I chose to simply make the low muttered noise, Ughhhh my God.
I have experienced losing amazing girls because I readily handed her my balls and penis on a plate
very early on. This is not from love, but from an impatient neediness.
A gentleman is merely a patient wolf
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He doesnt go out on adventures anymore - whats the point? He has a girlfriend. He just spends his
weeks working and his weekends at Jessicas. Sooner or later they start to fight. He doesnt trust
Jessica to have a night out with her friends. Jessica is growing restless and resentful. She fell in love
with a man who took care of himself, had a life outside of her, had passions and dreams. Steve was
living a lie - he sold her on a product he never had. Everything he did was to garner attention from
women, so when he had it, he quickly became complacent.
Does any of this sound familiar?
We can talk for hours about how to remain attractive and keep the spark going, but the single
greatest, bar none, most important element is this: Never sway from your path and purpose.
That could mean many different things to many people. If you know what your purpose is do not let
your romantic relationships sway you from it. If you do not know what your purpose is, then your
priority is to find it.
Understand, women are infinitely and passionately attracted to the dreamers, the warriors, the
conquerors and the seekers. Why? Because that unshakable commitment to something greater than
yourself is what will allow you to create a better life for your children one day. You must take care
never to lose that spark within yourself, to never grow complacent, and in turn that spark in your
relationship will never die out.
Practically speaking? Have a life! Celebrate and honour your male friends. Go on adventures she
isnt a part of. Try new things together. Always strive, improve, grow and create, and then let her
become a part of that. She will marvel at how lucky she is to have landed a man of your caliber.
Finally, someone she doesnt have to babysit. Finally someone she doesnt have to worry about.
Finally a man she can trust.
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According to Reuters, a study conducted by Siemens determined that 79% of people polled stated
that they settled for someone who wasnt their true love when they married. More shockingly
17% of the 2000 polled said they have met their true love after marriage, while 46% of those polled
stated that they would leave their marriage if they did find their true love. To be honest, I am not that
surprised. Lets examine these facts a little deeper: Essentially 79% of people are stating they have
already found true love but did not marry that person, or found true love after marrying their spouse.
This means only 21 percent of adults polled actually believe they are in love with the person they are
with.
So what is the only way to connect with your future wife, for life? How do you not fall into the 79%
statistic? How do you achieve these results when nothing else seems to be working? Where do
you start, what do you have to do? All of these questions I am sure are flooding your brain, as
they have flooded mine before. Before I tell you the answers to all of your questions, I first want to
congratulate you. I want to applaud you for even asking these questions. It takes a man of courage
and wisdom to first see that something isnt working, and secondly to have the courage to make the
decision to fix whatever becomes revealed as broken.
So what is broken? What is the first step? What are the answers to all of these never-ending
questions? Before I can give you the answers I must first explain this: You can never expect
someone else to complete a part of yourself that is lacking. That great divide within your soul
must be fulfilled by yourself, and yourself alone. How do you know what a physically, mentally, &
emotionally healthy woman looks like if you arent even healthy yourself? Always remember that we
create our own environment. This begins with throwing away everything that is broken in our lives.
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Although we were childhood best friends it didnt take long until we grew apart.
Honestly, it was my fault. My rough upbringing in my household drove me to go through childhood
phases that she couldnt understand or relate to. She was perfect in every way, and I became
nothing short of a fuck up. Up until a few years ago I would think of her often, living in such regret
realizing that I could never be with my true love. I, for a while, feared I would end up part of the
79%.
A few years ago however, I realized that it wasnt actually love for her that drove me. It was
infatuation. I also do not mean a sexual arousal by her sheer beauty, but I was infatuated with the
idea of her. Over the years I have built up something so pristine in my mind, an idea that no real
woman could ever live up to. In all reality I was only cheating myself. The cold hard truth my brain
chose to ignore was that she was flawed just like everyone else. Our time growing apart led us into
different hobbies and beliefs. In short we werent compatible at all.
Thats when it hit me. I already had true love right in front of me with my current fianc (girlfriend
at that time). First I asked myself why havent we failed yet? Most relationships fail because of 5
major reasons. Lets take a look at what they are:
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4. Jealousy Feeling a need to compete or separate. When you feel so much less significant than
your partner and constantly push your partner to prove themselves within your relationship.
5. Selfishness Only having concern for oneself without thought or consideration of your partner
can cause serious detrimental effects on your relationship.
Thinking over these five categories, I realize that they are lacking in my current relationship. It
seems, as if naturally we were a lot stronger than I thought Something outside of the fairy tales
told to me my whole life. So now that I realized we werent making the most common errors
within our relationship, I was curious as to what we were doing well. This was such a challenge
for me, and I realized its because I never truly knew what I valued in a relationship. I took some
time to determine what a loving relationship looks like, and then compared that list to my current
relationship.
Here is my list:
1. Removal Of Ego I decided that in a relationship I want to be able to have my partner and I give
and express to each other acts of love without desire of reciprocation or validation from the other.
2. Unable To Hurt Each Other I also realized that it would be important to me in a relationship to
have someone that I cared about so deeply, that I could never do something out of spite or anger
that would hurt them emotionally and/or physically to bring me a feeling of satisfaction. I, of course,
would want mutual respect from my partner.
3. Unity Using the term, we is a great representation of this unity, but sometimes I feel that
people misinterpret the bigger picture. It is always important that with your daily thoughts, actions
and words, respect of your partner is always prioritized. With that said, I decided I never wanted a
partner that would demand I waited for her approval to make any decision.
Real strength in unity allows for independence. Having a spouse who I truly get, love, and
appreciate for her personality, desires, and ambitions at her core allows me the strength to
understand her. When I understand her, I dont have to question why she behaves certain ways,
why she makes certain decisions, why she chooses to see a movie with a particular friend. Instead,
I am left in a place where each action she takes on each day is merely yet another reflection of the
woman I am so incredibly in love with.
4. Share The Load I do very strongly believe that all men were designed to carry distinct roles
within a relationship, as women were as well. With that said I also believe that it is vital to share
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the load at times. You will hear people say, You are the man, suck it up. I know, for myself, that
I am not completely capable of being secure 100% of the time. I am, after all, human. There will
be times when I need my wife to step up and take some of the load off of my shoulders. There will
be a time when I am so mentally distraught that I will need her to deal with social situations, just so
my mind can find peace for a short period of time. I decided I never wanted a relationship where I
had to carry the weight of both our loads on our shoulders 100% of the time. This is often seen in
cases where men get into relationships with women suffering from a diva or princess mentality. How
many times have you heard a woman say, I am pretty, I am used to getting what I want. Although
that statement may be true, and must make her life a lot easier on the surface, she is only cheating
herself and her future husband by expecting everything to be done and catered to her.
5. Pride & Suffering Having a woman that when I speak about so pridefully it brings a smile to
my face is a wonderful thought. This may sound a little clich but having someone that I would
be willing to suffer for if I saw it would bring them happiness is also another important sign to me.
When you become a father, and a husband, a lot of your life will consist of pride and suffering.
You will be so proud of your childrens accomplishments, and they will accomplish certain things
because you suffered by giving up a fishing trip so you could afford them another year of music
lessons, for example. It may sound horrible, but at its core it comes from a place of pure and
everlasting love. When you know this type of love to be true in your heart, there is no personal
remorse for your suffering but a condition you gladly give to see the joy in the eyes of the ones you
care deepest about.
These are five examples I determined were extremely important to me. Once I realized what was
important to me, I looked at my relationship and realized I was lucky. The woman I was with is the
one I truly loved all along, not the one I was infatuated with because she matched everything the
movies said I should go after.
I challenge you to determine what it is that YOU want to go after. What is it that YOU define as love,
what is important, what have you learned from your past relationships that you want to bring forward
into a new and healthier one?
Continuing Success Within Your Relationship For Life
It should be no surprise to you that every relationship is going to have its ups and downs. It is
love, strengthened by being with the right person, of the right qualities you pre-determined that
sees you through it together as a couple. I often talk about the use of mirroring when first building
comfort with someone. The example I use is how an elderly couple will look very similar. The
reason for this, in short, is because over the years they develop similar laugh lines. Over the years
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they learn to have a similar sense of humor, have a similar laugh, use certain phrases or words, and
have communication without ever speaking a word. A unity was built through shared intimacy and
identity.
Although this unity is important, understand that there are certain psychological tasks in order to
ensure a great relationship/marriage. One of these tasks is to still allow for autonomy. You should
always have enough going on within your own life to where you are never fully dependent upon
your partner to bring you happiness. Being in a relationship should bring part of the joy to your life,
without being solely responsible for all of it.
Another important characteristic to maintain a healthy and successful relationship is sex. It is easy
to get side tracked with work, and the normal day to day stressors of life. We all know that one of
the most common symptoms of depression is fatigue. Normal work week stress can cause you
to be too tired to allow for intimacy with your partner. Dont put off intimacy for that special date
planned next week. Share your fantasies with your partner, and be open to hers. You set time aside
to brush your teeth for your own dental health, set aside time to allow for intimacy with your partner
for your relationships health.
Another key factor to a successful relationship is to separate yourself from your childhood family.
We should always love and appreciate where we come from, but understand that you need to make
two houses into one home. This means you need to shed the outside influences of your past and as
a couple, build your own family, and your own home.
After time has gone by, and you have heard each others stories a million times it may be difficult to
avoid boredom. It will be inevitable at times, but that does not mean your relationship is failing. If
you would like to try and avoid this, focus on trying to rekindle that youthful romance you once had
together. Surprise her with a new adventure, and make a new memory together that you can both
tell a million times to your children. Take on new hobbies together, find the positives in life, and use
laughter and joy to curtail the negativity that enters your lives.
Lastly, dont wait for your partner to fix the relationship. If you feel tension in the relationship
address it. Letting issues ferment will only bring upon more bacteria and disease. Communication
is key and sometimes it takes one person to get that communication started. Have enough love
and respect for your relationship to bring up the hard topics, even if you know it may bring upon a
negative result.
In closing, remember it is always important to be selfish at first, then selfless second. Be selfish
when you are creating your list, make sure that the woman you meet matches your qualifications
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and you are matching yourself with a woman of quality and deserving of the positive wealth of love
you have to offer. Once you find this person, become selfless. Dont let your past aggressions and
failures prevent you from offering your new healthy relationship everything you are capable of. She
is deserving of the best you, and if you chose the right lady, she will offer the best her in return.
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for directions.
In the second scenario, I created a purpose for the number. Her giving me her number in that
moment was rational, logical, and expected. You dont always have to worry about setting up a first
date before handing her your phone. In fact, most of the time when I get a womans number its way
before I even excuse myself from the interaction. Still I always provide a reason for the exchange,
as opposed to awkwardly asking for it randomly. Something as simple as making plans to go on
an adventure together even though there is no specific date, time, or location I will still provide a
reason.
Once shes putting her number in your phone, make it fun. Tell her to save herself as whatever
nickname you gave her, and watch her save it as something better. This allows you to remain playful
and light. Remember; exchanging numbers, talking to women and dating is normal. Its something
well adjusted people do. Why make it into such a big deal in the first place? Keep it light!
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As you can see, this contact was named, Anna The Cooler One. As she was putting her number
in my phone, she realized there were other Annas as contacts. I told her she has some competition
and should just save herself as Anna Needs To Try Harder, instead she saved herself as The
Cooler One.
Another great way to easily obtain a phone number is to take a picture together. Regardless of who
takes it, either offer to text it to her, or have her text it to you.
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This screen shot is of a street promoter I met on the street while she was working (yes, I am sitting
on her lap in that picture). In this scenario, how many men do you think try to pick her up and ask
her for her phone number? A lot, thats how many. So instead of directly asking for it, I had her take
a selfie of us. Again, it was only common sense that she should text it to me. The result? I was able
to obtain her number, and took a picture of us togetherwithout coming off as every other creeper
on the street looking for her number.
If you are in a situation where you will both be in the same venue for a period of time, text her
immediately after getting her phone number. One of my favorite things to do is to text
Psssst
The concept is to create your own private conversation while in a public place. Imagine while she is
having fun with her friends, and entertaining men who are buying her free drinksshes also on the
phonewith you. At a certain point in time, you walk over to her while she is surrounded by these
men, say to her, Are you ready? with your arm out, and escort her away. Everyone is confused
how it happened, and most of the time they assume you two were just boyfriend and girlfriend.
Truth is, you just met her, but had enough time to establish a fun and deep connection with her via
text. Perhaps you were making fun of the douches hitting on her, or the drunk hot mess express
dancing on the bar. Eventually you set the understanding that you will be over to save her in a few
minutes and take her to best place on the strip you know for late night cocktails (or whatever).
When it comes to a solid phone number, it isnt always about making sure it is the correct phone
number. Making sure she doesnt flake the next day, even when its the right phone number, is
crucial. Having these immediate text conversations afterwards helps prevent flakes for a few
reasons. The first reason is if she was blackout drunk by the end of the night, the next day she will
be able to see your interaction and see that she was very interested in you, and that you were a
funny/cool guy. Thats much more powerful than her wondering who this random guy texting her is,
and doesnt want to respond because, God knows what kind of creeper I gave my number out to
last night.
I always prefer to have the girl put her number into my phone, but if you are really worried that she
might give you a wrong phone number, try this. Take her phone, program your number in, and call
your phone. Most of the time, just saying, Ill text you my name as soon as shes typing in her
number, it will deter any thoughts she may be having of giving you a fake phone number. How
embarrassing would it be when you text or call her on the spot and her phone isnt lighting up. She
doesnt want that embarrassment, so make sure you clearly state your intentions to call her or text
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her immediately so she has it. More importantly, once you are sending this initial textyou have
already started your new private discussion that no one else in the club knows about.
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To be honest, its kind of simple. I am going to briefly break down my four stages of messaging.
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you will asking her small talk questions that she has autopilot responses too.
Once you have set the stage, allow her to contribute. This is where you are going to draw her out of
her shell. Women always feel safer and more adventurous when it comes to fantasy. They know its
not real, and they are taught to go wild with their imagination since they were little girls. They plan
on their future weddings, they play princesses with their friends from school, they dream of what
their future home will be like one day, etc. Ask her questions as you are planning out your secret plot
to take over the world, that will require her to really come out of her comfort zone and be a little more
risqu.
The easiest way to get a woman to begin to open up is with disqualifiers. For example:
Me: Listen, if we are going to be on stuck on an island with our stash of gold, I need to know you at
least own a sexy bathing suit. None of this one-piece bullshit.
Her: (Qualifying Herself To Me) Ha-ha I dont even own a one piece! My bathing suits are very sexy
; )
*Note...women will never buy a bathing suit they think is unattractive...so her response is extremely
predictable - and in our favor.*
Me: You sound pretty confident (I am giving her small value and qualifying her to boost her
confidence because my next question is going to require her to be even more confident), what would
you say is your best feature?
Her: hmmmm My bum haha
So now we are going sexual already...and she thinks its even her idea because shes the one
qualifying to you...and telling you how sexy she is (instead of how most men will spend time telling
the women how sexy they think she is).
Again the most important thing to remember in this stage is we are drawing her out of her shell. We
are getting her to open up and tell us things that she hasnt told anyone else.
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understands her and relates to her on a level that she has never experienced before. This step can
easily be skipped if you were able to turn the conversation sexual in Stage 2.
One easy way you can develop a deep level of comfort, very quickly is to ask her to share a secret
with you. Tell her it has to be something shes only shared with her teddy bear or like a childhood
best friend. Since she is used to only sharing this information with those who she deeply trusts and
feels safe with, psychologically she will put you into that same category.
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They are typically at home relaxing on the couch watching TV, doing laundry, cooking dinner, etc.
The point is that this is the most common time for people to be home, without plans, and close to
their phones where they can respond.
Make it easier for her to say yes - Unless you are a millionaire, chances are shes going to avoid
taking as many risks as possible. Eliminate some of the worries she might have by proposing your
first meet up at a public place. Dont tell her to come park at your building, or that you will come to
her house. I understand back in the day men used to go pick up the lady at her home. This was
easily done though because they knew each other in person first...they knew of each others families
and friends. Anyone can be anyone on the internet and women need to be cautious - and so do
you.
Getting Nudes
If your goal was to get nudes (lets suppose the woman you meet online is far away and you want
to take things fun and sexual) then theres also a few tricks you need to know here as well. The
key ingredient is to remember that you must always maintain a balance between giving her value,
and disqualifying her efforts. If you believe a woman for one second when she sends you a
picture and says that Its not her favorite, or She doesnt like that one, then you, sir, are crazy.
Women will never send a pic they dont like. So what you need to get from this is that they put
effort into sending pics, and you have to constantly balance out a combination of giving her value,
and boosting her confidence but also not to the point where you are desperate. This is where
disqualification comes into play.
It really is a finely tuned art, but you will get it down after time. Disqualify her pictures by saying,
Wow, that one almost turned me on. Never disqualify her in the picture by saying her boobs
looked saggy, or you thought she was skinnier. This is the wrong way to disqualify and will get you
shut down immediately. Instead make her more confident about her insecurities. Say something
like, I love the confidence you have when you take your photos, its very sexy.
Lastly, pose a challenge. This is probably my favorite thing to do with women. Women love
challenges, and they also love knowing that they are sexy enough to arouse a man. By disqualifying
her and saying something like, That photo almost made me hard just now you are posing a
challenge for her to send another one. Remember, the key here is to make her feel beautiful and
confident and proud of her body, without coming off as a desperate horny dude.
Watch it in Action
To show you a text example, I am going to type out a conversation from the initial text to the first
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date. As you see this text thread you will see I am not as confined to the four stages, although you
can see similarities. Once you understand the rules, you can break the rules. I obviously start off
by provoking a response. I also go into a version of fantasy, twice. The first time is telling this crazy
story about me being a hobo that talks to dolphins. Well the other is when I want to go sexual with
her. You will notice that I discovered a reason to bring up her and I having sex, but I did it in a role
play manner so it would establish the frame without being awkward and random. Most importantly,
you will notice that within about twenty minutes of texting I was able to secure the first date, build
my attraction with her, and most importantly establish that we will be having sex on our first date,
which (by the way) we did.
Me: On a scale from 1 to The Food Network, how good a cook are you?
Her: Im totally a Food Network celebrityyou havent seen my cooking show?
Her: Haha, why do you ask?
Me: Its been a while since I had a really good home cooked meal
Her: Oh really?
Me: YeahI live in a cardboard box that floats around the intercoastal, not enough room to build a
kitchen in there
Her: Wow that sounds terrible yet adventurous at the same time
Me: You ever hear of the dog whisperer? I can whisper to dolphins and they push my box to the
dock whenever I want to go back ashore and meet beautiful women with a dog on the street * (I met
her while she was walking her dog on the street)
Her: No waydolphin whisperer, thats pretty impressive
Me: Ill introduce you one day. Oddly enough they are both named Frank, I get them confused
sometimes because they are also twins.
Her: I am laughing too hard to be able to reply. Haha, I love it.
Her: Tell me more about the life of the dolphin whispering hobo
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Me: I have a better idea, instead of telling you about my adventures, lets go on a new adventure
together.
Her: That sounds like a plan. What did you have in mind? And yea mostly I make my own schedule
so I have free time whenever I want.
Me: Lets meet tonight. Walk your dog first so thats out of the way then I will spend the rest of the
night sweeping you off your feet and reminding you how fun life can be when you are with a dolphin
whispering hobo pirate.
Her: Id love to. However I actually work tonight from 10-4. I have a few side jobs in addition to
running my business, and tonight I have to perform at a club in Miami.
Her: But how about Sunday Night?
Me: How long have you been hooking in Miami?
Me: Sunday Works
Her: Yeah both, we walk on stilts but were not wearing much. However if anyone touches us they
get knocked out by a big black dude.
Me: Will he be chaperoning our date?
Her: Only if you want him to
Me: I consider myself to be sexually liberated but having a big black dude watching from the corner
might be a little too kinky for my taste haha. Plus every time Id try to touch you hed knock me out!
We should just not bring him Im thinking?
Her: Alright finehe might be sad tho so were gonna have to bake him cookies to make up for it
Me: I mean I have a camera we can always just let him watch the tape later while hes eating his
cookies
Her: lol never, what if he blackmails us!
Me: Are you ashamed for the world to know we have the best sex ever? My only concern would be
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that if it got leaked wed never get paid properly for demonstrating our exclusive techniques.
Me: We could name it the hobo and Goliath, you could wear stilts. We literally would make a killing.
Her: Thats exactly what Im saying, if anyones going to witness that magic they better pay up first.
Me: Be real with me for a second, youre a spiritual person arent you? You have a depth to you that
most people wouldnt pick up on when first meeting you.
Her: Yes. And I see the same in you.
Her: So whats the plan for Sunday?
Me: Wear something cute and casual. Ill take care of the rest. Text me your address, Ill pick you up
at 9 pm so you dont have to walk.
Her: Cool! Ill see you then.
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To test this out, I had a friend last year experiment with a few different concepts. The biggest was
when he posted a list of house rules in his home by the front door. When he pulled from a bar, a
woman had to sign onto this list of rules before she was allowed to take her jacket off. These rules
were purely his, and it worked. Rules such as You must be gone before I wake up, or You have to
leave an article of clothing here (he had a collection of bras hanging on his wall).
A few years back, I developed my Shelf System to experiment with this as well. I took a closet
and put six shelves in it, one above the other. I decided I did not want to maintain more than six
girlfriends at the same time. Each girl got a shelf...but the higher the shelf, the higher a priority they
were to me. If they wanted to keep personal items at my place, they had to leave it on their shelf thats all the storage room they had.
They all had chores, one girl would do my laundry, and one girl would go grocery shopping.
Whenever a girl decided to get jealous, or moody, or use another girls shampoo for example, her
shelf status would get downgraded. It was like how Hugh Hefner has his main girlfriend and the
others have their hierarchy. I was posing a challenge, and I created a system that punished poor
attitude or behavior.
Let me set the record straight
I dont suggest you adopt what I did, or what my friend did as your personal mission. They were
EXTREME circumstances simply to try and see how strong of a frame we could establish. What we
got out of these experiments was simple: as long as you establish what it is that you want, hold firm,
allow her to come into your reality, and cherish her for it - you can pretty much do anything.
Heres the bottom line - there is no special way to set up a booty call. There is no magic line to tell
you. You have to determine what you want out of relationships. Is all you want booty calls? Then
ask yourself a few more questions like, how often? Once you establish your expectations, then a
woman can choose to follow or not follow. Everything else follows without stress, without lying, and
without effort.
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The fact is, we all know what it looks like externally to be sexy - weve all seen James
Bond movies where he looks deep into a womens eyes or talks very slowly and firmly.
Weve all seen Johnny Depp movies where he touches women in a very delicate way and in very
specific places. Pop culture is full of examples of what it looks like to be sexy.
No, the key really is to allow yourself to be that way. You cannot be arousing if you are not first
aroused. You cannot make her open up to you sexually if you yourself are not opened sexually.
A pro-tip to jumpstart this process is to stop watching porn and, if you can, stop masturbating
altogether. Within two weeks youre going to start to feel sexy. Youll be much more in your hips,
much more in your core and less in your head.
Being an arousing bad boy is about being the man she can see herself having sex with!
That means to stop talking all the time, fidgeting and making jokes and instead, to relax, get into
your hips, look deep into her eyes and visualize her naked, riding you. Look her deep in the eyes and
communicate that the second you two are alone, you will ravage her.
Communicating that way verbally becomes easy - simply verbalize what you feel.
An easy way to get started with sexualization is to leave a lot of it to her imagination.
Hinting is a powerful sexual tool.
You look like such a good girl can you be bad?
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The next part is super important; reconnect with your inner child. Have a childlike sense of wonder
and curiosity. When I was living in Spain, I saw a stunning brunette walk past the bar I was at. I
didnt think twice about it and ran down the street to her. We spoke and she smiled. I invited her to
go for a walk. As we walked in the narrow streets, I saw the castle on the hill. I took her hand and
said Come. We walked to the top of the castle and just enjoyed the view until 2 in the morning.
When I lived in Armenia, I met two adorable local girls who invited me to party with them. There were
fireworks that night so we went to the Marriott to watch from the balcony but it was crowded and we
couldnt properly enjoy ourselves, so I got an idea We walked down the hall to this door that said
no entry. I pushed the door open - it was unlocked! I told the girls to follow me and we ended up on
the roof of the hotel, enjoying the greatest (and closest) fireworks show Id ever seen.
Moxie, gentlemen! Inventive courage. What an incredible quality to have Every night with you
becomes an incredible adventure, something refreshing and seductive. What woman does not come
alive at the thought of being swept away in your flirtatious and exciting ways?
No woman ever leaves her house thinking I dont want to be swept off my feet
today
Hitch
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