HD 315 was, up to that point, the worst experience that I have had while earning my BA.

I
was looking forward to learning and expanding my foundation for observational skills, and I had
high hopes for this elective class. I was very curious to discover new and specific types of
academic direction and observational techniques that I would be introduced to, but this class, for
lack of better terms, was a disaster, a complete disappointment and did not meet my hopes or
expectations at all.
The only ways that I fulfilled my own goals were to push and motivate myself to find ways
to extract value and meaning from this class through my own efforts at self-directed research,
thought and analysis. Sadly, I did not find the courses reading or materials useful or informative
at all, in any context. I was also able to meet my less academic, more personal goals by
exercising patience, utilizing my most diplomatic and cautious communication skills, and
practicing open-mindedness and acceptance-trying to make the best of a situation that was
extremely stress and angst provoking and completely frustrating. I suppose I could be thankful
for opportunities at character building and finding new coping skills in a truly unfathomable
situation.
In this class, as per the course description, I did find opportunities to add to my knowledge
of, principles of observation and documentation through my own practice of trial and error. I
acquired new techniques for conducting formal observations, by carrying out these observations
in the assigned settings per our assignments. For instance, I was able to observe children in a
public park setting, observe their interactions with others, see multi-cultural families at play and
in social, community activities and even speak to adults who were curious as to the reasons for
my presence and observations as they were taking place.

The contributions that I made to this class were mostly my efforts to communicate, which
were necessary due to the chaos and lack of information/communication that unfortunately, did
set the precedent for what was to come in this class. Even more difficult was that this class
started off with a total of five students, and I believe it ended with only two of us, in addition to
the professor. That made it difficult to carry on discussions-my other classmate seemed to have
checked out, so I sometimes felt as though I was only talking to myself, in all seriousness. The
conversations and discussions became nonexistent.
Since this was an online class, I did my best to communicate via email, but was primarily
only able to do so with my classmates regarding our collective, utter confusion. Despite several
attempts at reaching instructor Mary Jo Jordan, our inquiries frequently went ignored completely
or would not get answered for great lengths of time, even after the assignment in questions
deadline had passed. It was very alarming, and wholly maddening. I could make no sense of it.
I did my best in keeping an open dialogue and asking repeatedly for help because of the lack
of relevant and critical information. I know that the rest of this tiny class was also perplexed,
because there was originally no contact information for the instructor and no syllabus. After
several emails to Dr. Grant, he posted a completely revised syllabus, because he had to step in
and make major revisions. Following that, our Ms. Jordan continued to reference assignments,
books, lectures, articles and Tedtalks which were not even part of our curriculum at all. I have
never experienced such a sense of disconnectedness or degree of misguided floundering on the
part of any teacher or professor, in any level of my cumulative academic experiences, from
childhood to the present. It was truly astonishing.

I am not afraid to be the student to speak up and ask questions right away, if I am
confused, uncertain or unclear about anything. I have found that many times, classmates exhibit
trepidation or fear of speaking up when they are uncertain about what we need to do to fulfill
class requirements. I do not mind, taking one for the team, so to speak, in terms of being the
one to stick my neck out and risk, looking stupid; I have noticed that many students are afraid
to ask questions because they feel intimidated or believe that asking for clarification makes them
somehow seem unintelligent or otherwise inept or flawed. It was disheartening to get emails
from a fellow student, who would communicate her confusion and frustration to me but not to
our instructor-she was either afraid to ask and equally dissatisfied with the futility of her efforts
if she did attempt to get more information. She, like the majority of my other classmates,
dropped the class rapidly. I probably would have done likewise, if I did not have a goal for my
target graduation date.
Nevertheless, my grades and the quality of my work are critically important to me, and I
do not mind looking daft nor do I worry much about what others have as an opinion of me-I just
need to be sure I am on track in completely knowing what is being asked of me, as a student, so
that I may put forth my best efforts. I learned long ago: I do not know everything and I certainly
do not have all the answers or have the capability to read minds. Asking to be sure, in all
situations, works better for me every time.
It would have been very helpful to have had a class where the professor was as invested
in the content and quality of the class as the student(s). I would have found use and value in
having some sense of challenge in the course content. It would have been helpful to have had
more examples and techniques referenced and offered as suggestions, and to have had feedback
which was academically valuable and relevant.
3

I honestly did not know (and still do not know, upon further reflection) what to think
of/how exactly to interpret the commentary given to me regarding my last assignment from Ms.
Jordan, which follows here, You are truly a wonderful story teller. You painted a beautiful
picture in my mind of a remarkable event. You are such a strong person and perhaps your
strength has come from your past life experiences. I hope as you continue on your path in life
you take time for yourself as an individual and dwell on your possibilities in life as I do believe
you have so much to offer others who have had similar experiences as yours. I have pondered
this on a few occasions; I am most puzzled by the reference to, past lives. I suppose all I can
do is use what I could muster as useful and be content that I completed this class successfully;
that it is now just in my past; or should I say: in the relative past of this current lifetime (?). With
all due respect, I do not believe that concepts of a metaphysical or supernatural manner are
appropriate for me, in this or any other serious, credible academic context.