DeathofaPaleMan

Thejunglewasdarkandthestarswerediamonds.Palewindschilledhazysunrises.
Decemberstilledtheyellowedpianokeys.Brotherclimbedthroughthewindow.Hisungloved
fingersclutchedafrostcrackedpetunia.Hisdeadfeetthuddedontheoncewhitelinoleum.His
smokelacedbreathcrystallizedin
allabreve
rhythm,onetwo,onetwo,becauseBrotherhad
run,andnottodeliverthefrozenflowertohislittlesister,thoughthatwashisintentionuponher
awakening,andnottosweatoutthespirits,toseethemcorporealintherapidrhythmsofhis
exhalations,becauseBrotherranfromratherthanfor,andthatfromwhichherandidnotpursue
him,didnothaveto,forasBrothersnappedtheshadesonthediamondlacedjungle,scrambling
foravaseinwhichtopreservehissistersflower,knowingtherewassomething,somethinghe
wantedtotellher,thoughhecouldntrememberwhat,theybothknewhewouldcomerunning
back.

Manyandmanyayearago

Beforehebeganrunning,Brotherread.Theglossyfairytalewordsetchedthemselvesontohis
tongue,intohiseyes,andwhenhefearedhewouldnolongersee,shewouldthrowbackher
gleefulgoldenheadandhewouldblink,smile,andcontinue.

andthismaidenshelivedwithnootherthought/thantoloveandbelovedbyme

Grimm,Faulkner,Poe,Grimm,Faulkner,Poe...thesamestories,alwaysthesamestories.He
recitedthetauntingpages,knowing,somehow,somethingwhispered,veiledbeneaththewords,
somethinghecraved,neededtounderstand.Yethowshelaughed!Sangasifshewouldnever
stop,wouldnevercare,wouldneverhearthewhispersunderthepages.Sohewouldshutthe
blinds,shakehishead,cursehisfoolishimagination,andthanktheheavensshereturnedhimto
reality.

awindcameoutofthecloudbynight

Asthewordsscrolledthroughhiseyes,again,again,lovely,lovely,thewindowmagnifiedthe
junglesuchthatBrotherfearedwewouldfallheadlongintoitsthroat,thatthegreatglutton
wouldswallowhimandhewouldneverreadthewordsagain.Eachpulseofthejunglemirrored
therhythmofherlaughter,onetwo,onetwo.Thefamiliardrumbeatbegantoovertakehim,his
eyespulsingwiththebeckonofthejungleandtheoppositeallureofherlaughteruntilthey
scannedthesamesentenceagain,again,again,
thejungleisdark,thejungleisdark,thejungleis
dark
.

Itfollowedhim.Whileherecitedhislessons,thejungle'sdrumbeatechoedeachsweepof
Father'sbroom,everystirofMother'spot,everycrinkleofhissister'seye.Sometimesitentered
hisdreams.Onthesenightshewouldawakeninasilentpanic,drawtheblinds,andpresshis
headintothesweatsoakedpillow,determinedtoignorethebeatofthetwistedtreeswaitingto
draghimintotheirbellies.Andononeofthesenights,whenthepulsethreatenedtostranglehim

underthearborvitaesrestlessroots,didBrotherclamberintohiscarandscreamoutofthe
driveway.
Ashespedthroughstoplightsandswervedaroundcorners,Brotherthoughtonlyofescapingthe
burningdrumbeatthatevennowchasedhimthroughtheshadowysuburbanstreets.
Onetwo,
onetwo,thejungleisdark,thejungleisdark.
Itdrovehimintothetavernparkinglot,chased
himuptothebar,echoedeveryoverturnedwhiskeyglass,again,again,untilthemidnightbabble
sankoutoftune,butstillhecontinued,onetwo,onetwo,andeachbeatandeachclinkmirrored
amemory,atauntingphrasehelongedtoremember,neededtotellhissister,butasthepale
windscameoutofthecloudintothegyresofhiseyes,heonlyheardonetwo,onetwo,
the
jungleisdark.

Thedaysgrewcolder.Hazysunrisesroseandfell.Bothercrawledthroughthewindow.Again,
again,heranfromthejungle.Andstillhecouldnotremember.Therewassomething,something
hemusttellher,buthisenlargedpupilsswirledwithenoughwindtocloudhisvision,dimthe
junglesdin,andhecouldnotremember.Instead,hebroughtherwildflowersfromtheoutskirts
oftheforest.Buthekepthiseyesdown.Nevernearenoughtoseeinside.

Thejungleisdark,thejungleisdark
,again,
thejungleisdark,thejungleisdark
,another,
the
jungle,thejungle
.Themirroronthebackwallofthebarwascrustedandcracked.Brothersaw
hislips,paleandcrackedlikehissistersflowers,hisangularjaw,thinnerthanheremembered,
thelightreflectedinhisemptydarkeyes
andremembered.


Thejungleisdark
.
Brotherstaggeredthroughthetaverndoor,slammedthekeyintotheignition,wrestledthegear
intoreverse.

Thejungleisdark.

Asheswervedthroughtheshadows,hegraspedhisnewfoundrealizationtopreventitfrom
slippingawaybeforehecouldtellher,couldclaspherhands,begforherforgiveness.

Thejungleisdark,
heslidoverthestreet
,thejungleisdark
,andthestreetsweredark,
dark,dark

Andeverythingwasdark.

Heawokewithagaspandatonceinhaledacloudofsmoke.Thestarswereontheground.His
headpoundedwiththerhythmoftheapproachingsirens.Therhythmremindedhim.Hestillhad
totellherhismemory.Hecouldseetheirreunion:hewouldtellherhisrealization,shewould
smileandlaughlikesheusedto,andtheywouldshareinthejoyoftheirepiphany,venturing
intotheworldtogether.Thisfantasycompelledhimtoforceopenthepassengersidedoor,
scrambleovertheseats,staggeroutoftheditchintowhichhishazyflighthadthrownhim.And
witheachpoundingstepechoingtherhythmofhishead,thesirens,hisheart,Brotherrantothe
beatingofthejungle.


Hedidnothaltatthescatteredpatchoffrozenflowers,butplungedintothebellyofthe
beast,searchingforatokenofapologyhecouldpresenttohisbelovedsisterbeforehefinallyput
downthebookoffairytales,placedhishandinhers,andledhertothetangledtreeshehadonce
feared.Hiselectriceyesfellonaflower.Excellent,hethought.Butthisonewascrackedwith
frostlikethosebeyondthewoods.Asheapproachedthelonelything,thepartedwindsgranted
himanuncloudedviewofthescene.Underthelimppetalslayahand,andarm,afaceshielded
bygrainhuedhair,asmile
Brothercreptalongthemoss.Hekneltonthegranitegravelbesidetheflowerbearers
headandbrushedherhairoutofhereyes.HerbreathlaysilentasthepaleDecemberwinds,her
pulseaprolongedrestinthejunglesrhythm,whichBrotherrealizedhadceasedaltogether.Only
hisghostlybreathbeatawillfulrhythm.Allwasstill.Hegraspedthehandunburdenedbythe
frostyflower.
Didyoucomelookingforme
?Hisquakingfingerspriedopenherblueones.She
didnotcarryoneofherbooks.Shehadcomealoneandunguarded,wanderedintothejungleto
findhim,tocallhimhome,perhapstotellhimtherewaspastafagiolionthestove,orthat
Fathersbootssoundedlikebassdrums,orthatshehadfinallyfinished
DeathofaSalesman
.
Andheremembered.
Astheylaytogetherinthedarknessofthejungle,foureyesfixedonthestars,thoughonlytwo
couldseethem,hewhisperedintohissistersear.Thejunglewasdark,but
Diamonds,Cara.Itsfullofdiamonds.