PERSONAL GROWTH PAPER THREE

Personal Growth Paper Three:

My Privilege
Jon Ayre
SW 1010
Javier Compos

PERSONAL GROWTH PAPER THREE

Abstract
I try unpacking the Intersectionality of my white male privilege, of
which I have much. I wrestle with its origin in racist, sexist and classist ideas.
I think ethnocentric principles are at the root of all human but especially
Americas inequality.

Personal Growth Paper Three: My Privilege

PERSONAL GROWTH PAPER THREE

After those papers, its going to be hard to write as Im still and will
forever be unpacking my privilege. My Intersectionality of mostly
privileged social identities is hard to analyze. As its my own, it feels nuanced
or even invisible. Im a white, cis-gendered gay man who can pass as
normal when convenient. I was brought up by well-educated middle-class
parents. I was raised within the predominant and most privileged religion in
my state, the LDS Church. Although I have since put great effort in reducing
their power for oppression, I am still privy as to how to take advantage of it. I
benefit from far more privilege than oppression, but am still having trouble
making a concise list like the one found in the White-Privilege article. Still, I
hope in the future to be able to see the systemic privilege it describes.
Though I do not fit into the normative culture, it is very easy for me to
pass as such and take advantage of the systematic privilege of the most
favored. I will at times absentmindedly opt into this system by allowing
people to assume I am of more privileged social circles than I am. Before
reading Peggy McIntoshs article, I thought that to just be the smart and
obvious move. I would hide any evidence of my queer and atheist nature to
get a job, a loan, or maybe just for my own comfort. I did so without realizing
that using the system will actually strengthen it. The last few years, I have
been trying to relinquish my privilege by entering situations where I would be
able to network or be more readily accepted if considered one of the guys,
but making it clear that I am not. However, the system of white male
privilege is stronger than that and Im frequently forgiven for my

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queerness, cultural difference, beliefs, and political views where if I was of

another ethnicity or gender I would not. These things would not be
considered cute or novel, but extremist and dangerous.
I am lucky enough to be able bodied, whats considered prime age and
of no obvious mental disability. All of which grant me great freedom to move
about in different social circles and generally positive assumptions are made
of me, unfairly. I can blend into the background or take up as much mental
and physical space as I want.
I am frequently invited into circles of the most privileged groups in
America: white, well-to-do, men where ethnocentrism is laid bare. I have
heard the most overtly sexist, racist, classist conversations and have seen
how the system of privilege reinforces itself. These groups would deny that
such behavior exists, but would be panic stricken when that privilege is
challenged or threatened. The obvious example being the nationalists
endorsing Donald Trump, claiming that extreme privilege is just part of white
heritage or birthright. Its a fancy way of saying that whites are born
superior. This idea is terrifying and absurd and is the legacy of white
American privilege, my privilege, and this is why it needs to be destroyed.
I feel silly after divulging how much privilege I have and cannot
unlearn, which makes it difficult to mention times of oppression. I have
distinct moments when I have lost privilege or purposely separated myself
from a group, but still remain high on the scale of privilege. When I came out
as gay, I was treated as a contaminant within my family and social circles. I

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was cut off from assets and connections including my home and my greatest
support, my family. When I got piercings or was seen drinking coffee or
alcohol years after leaving the LDS church, it was as if my Mormon
warranty was voided. I could still pass as straight, but no longer LDS and
one layer of privilege was lifted. I no longer felt people assumed that I was
moral or trustworthy.
I recently graduated from the SLCC heating and air-conditioning trade
school. The school population was made up of ten to one white students. As
far as I know, all straight men. I didnt have the opportunity to come out as
gay until months into the program, but made sure to never hide or lie. The
way I was treated from before and after coming out was clear. No one
wanted to be associated with me. My proficiency was always in question as
well as my motives and morals. After two years in the school and proving my
competence, the men would show their approval by saying I was nothing
like other gays. They would say I was okay, only because I was just like
them. They never accepted that I was not just like them. This seems like a
kindness I doubt someone of a different gender or ethnicity would be
granted.
Willful ethnocentrism reinforced by confirmation bias is the biggest
obstacle to equity in the U.S. The idea that I am normal, ideal and moral
and they are abnormal, malformed and immoral is a natural survival
mechanism, but should be overcome. I think people are born dogmatists. It
is in our nature to fear what is different from us and confirm what is effective

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for us as correct or morally right. I think the onus is on us to actively fight our
value judgments, to educate ourselves, expose ourselves and be vulnerable
with our differences. Exposure, interaction, education, and communication
with other social groups should be built into our school systems. I think
money is the physical manifestation of privilege and its influence should be
totally removed from government. It would be the biggest, hardest but most
necessary shift away form U.S. society to move towards a meritocracy.

References
Peggy McIntosh, 1989, White privilege: Unpacking the Invisible
Backpack