Wall 1

Tristan Wall
Professor Campbell
UWRT-1103
11 April 2016
Money and Power: How FIFA and The NFL Are Failing Their Followers

Commented [MF1]: Cool title!

Money laundering, bribes, abuse of power, cover-ups, scandal; terms all found and used
when discussing or investigating governmental or political corruption and hardship. However,
more recently, these words and many others like them have become synonymous with two
multimillion-dollar companies over the course of the past few years. The NFL and FIFA have
been involved in a number of scandals and law suits ranging from player safety, to domestic
violence, to money laundering. While the two have not been directly involved in each others

Commented [MF2]: The end sounds a bit iffy. I suggest

just using violence and money laundering.

actions, their effects on the world and those how play the games have been irreversible. Because

Commented [MF3]: Who

of the actions of current and in some cases past officials, The NFL and FIFA have been on a
down ward spiral for quite some time now.
Starting with FIFA. Many people were not aware of the immense amount of corruption
charges that FIFA and its officials have been slapped with over the past year or so until it was
made public only recently. The entire report revealed that for years, FIFA had been giving out

Commented [MF4]: Id use a different word instead of

Because to start this sentence. Maybe the Due to.. Also
make the word the lower case.
Commented [MF5]: FIFA (comma) many Sounds
better.
Commented [MF6]: I suggest a comma between so and
until.

favors for money. The largest and most appalling being the awarding of South Africa the
opportunity to host the World Cup, which according to FIFA yielded a little over 3 Billion
viewers in 2014, in exchange for bribes. According to BBC, the deal to award South Africa the
cup totaled to around $10 million. Chuck Blazer, a former United States soccer official is on the
record stating, Beginning in or around 2004 and continuing through 2011, I and others on the
FIFA executive committee agreed to accept bribes in conjunction with the selection of South

Commented [MF7]: Maybe use The largest and most

appalling was awarding South African the opportunity to
host the World Cup,.

Commented [MF8]: Thats crazy! Especially since Africa

is poor.

Wall 2
Africa as the host nation for the 2010 World Cup (qtd. In Assael, Forrest, and Chaudhary). Most
people read the articles that outline what has been happening and think nothing of it. So what if
another corruption scandal comes in? The cops will come in and save the day, and theyll get
their jail time and itll all be over right? Wrong. The fact that 30 or so officials have been
indicted on corruption charges and that it has affected numerous countries on the globe is
nothing short of systematic corruption and abuse of power. This matters not only because of the
number of laws broken but because of the public image it casts.
According to topendsports.com, there are an estimated 3.5 billion soccer fans world wide,

Commented [MF9]: Italicize this

making the most popular sport on the planet. Thats around 50 percent of the worlds population.
This being said, when a governing body such as FIFA exists to coordinate and arbitrate the
cultivation and fair play of the sport world wide, they must hold themselves to the highest of

Commented [MF10]: This becomes one whole word.

standards and regulations internally. This being said, the blatant disregard for decency and
legality within the management and hierarchy led by Sepp Blatter is as equally absurd as it is
hypocritical. You have no right to question my honor and integrity! (qtd. In Assael, Forrest,
and Chaudhary) were the words uttered by Blatter as he was questioned about a payoff. Due to
the fact that there was indeed every right to question Blatters motives is a prime example as to
why Blatter has failed the followers of the sport worldwide. Furthermore, another reason that this
news is all so shocking to the general public is because no one had any idea that was going on or
for how long it had been going on for. Former FIFA General Secretary and Director of Finance,
Urs Linsi said,
We should always remember to let the media and the public know what we are doing.
There is huge public interest in FIFA, therefore we have to be as transparent as possible.

Commented [MF11]: Explain shortly who Sepp Blatter is.

Wall 3
We will try to communicate in a more open way concerning football matters so the world
can believe us and be proud of their federation (qtd. In Jennings)
Linsi was deliberately lying to the public and anyone who happened to come across his quote on
FIFAs website at the time. Most people tend to pin Blatter as the soul offender and write the

Commented [MF12]: You meant sole

whole situation off when there is clear evidence that this problem of organized corruption runs
Commented [MF13]: throughout

through out the entire corporation and has for some time now.

Tristan,
So far everything is looking good. You implemented sources when you needed them
the most and your introduction did a good job at setting up with what you were about to
explain. Be careful with some grammar and punctuation issues though. Try not to extend
a sentence too much, it just sounds iffy.
-

Migsy