S.

Gantz,
M. Fisher,
L. Fackrell,
J. Elsey
March 18, 2016
Instructor: K.B. Hom
Group Project - Conflict Management
In the following paper we took a look at two interesting situations that come up in
most peoples regular lives. The conflict that can come from the division of a Family
Estate, and the conflict that occurs when a family is out to get a new Family Car. For
these two situations we used four different conflict management styles. We used
Accommodation, Compromise, and Collaboration to solve each solution differently.
There is no way to say which style is the best because conflict management styles
change with the situation, and the different people involved.
Accommodation Family Will
To accommodate is to give in to the demands of others. People may sometimes
adopt an accommodation style because they fear rejection if they rock the boat.
Sometimes people who accommodate dont seem to get angry or upset; they just do
what others want them to do. When you bend your own wants or needs to accommodate
another it can have advantages but at a cost to your own status. So what happens when
a family is trying to split an inheritance and one member of the family is just
accommodating to everybody else?
A family will can be a huge source of conflict, and can lead to many fights and or
separation of the family! In order to avoid the conflict, or to resolve the issues about the
will quickly you might find one or more of the family members accommodating to the
others wants. Some of the family might be accommodating but at the same time others
might be in competition for the inheritance and because of this the accommodators will
have a goal of just keeping the family together. For example:

Stacy: I think we should sell Dads house and split the profits among all of the
family.
Dave: No way Stacy!! I want the house so me and my family can live there.
Stacy: Well then maybe you should pay all of us our portion so you can have the
house Dave.
Dave: I cant believe you would ask your own family to pay for Dads house Stacy
this is bull shit. What is wrong with you Stacy?
Stacy: You know what Dave.Fine you just take the house and the rest of us will
split the remaining inheritance! Does that make you happy Dave?
Dave: Yup that will take care of me and my family.

In the above back and forth, Stacy originally took a stance to collaborate with the
rest of the family, but when Dave was unwilling to collaborate with the rest of the family
she changed her position, and just accommodated to the wants of Dave, who was clearly
in competition with the rest of the family. She put her needs and the rest of her familys
needs on the backburner in order to make sure Dave was happy. This is not always the
best approach to resolving your issues with others.
If you consistently accommodate, you may diminish your power to the extent that
others take advantage of you; the next time a conflict arises, the expectation may be that
youll give in and the other person will get his or her way again. In the case of a will it
would be best to hold your collaborative stance when faced with a competitive family
member. Holding your collaborative stance will allow you to switch the conflict
resolution into more of a compromise rather than an accommodation.
Collaborative - Family Will
When it comes to solving conflicts there are many ways to solve them. The way I
intend to focus on is collaboration. Collaboration in its simplest definition is: Working
together to meet complex challenges.
When collaboration happens it allows both people to have their inputs on the
problem at hand allowing the problem to hopefully be solved in a win-win Bebbe
states that collaboration is to have a high concern for both yourself and others (p.
238). Bebbe also lists some important notes that we need to be aware of to have
successful collaboration
1. All sides of the conflict need fresh, new ideas
2. Enhanced commitment to a solution is important because all are involved in
shaping the outcome
3. Its important to establish rapport and a positive relational climate
4. Emotional feelings are intense, and all involved in the conflict need to be listened
to
5. Its important to affirm the value of the value of the interpersonal relationship
With these five notes above i will show how to use collaboration in the scenario of a
family will.

Jim: Thank you everyone for coming together to discuss the family will, i hope
we can set aside our differences and figure out a solution that will fit everyone's
needs. We can also combine some of the ideas we have to make everyone happy
hopefully.
Suzy: "I would like to talk about tools left by grandpa with his passing.
Jim : That is a good place to start, the tools are worth a lot of money but they are
also very useful to have when needed.
Suzy: I think we should sell the tools and split the money among all of us.
Jim: I think we should just keep them at grandmas house and we can come over
when needed and use the tools in the shop.

Bill: I think a good route is to sell the tools we don't need, or any tools that we
have extra of, and keep the rest of the tools and grandma's house.
Jim: I think that is a good route to go, it allows us to clear the unneeded tools
out of the shop, and allows us to get some money out of the tools we sell.
Suzy: I agree!

As we can see the family used notes 1, 2, 3, and 4. They set aside the differences
and tried to have a positive atmosphere to work in. They also listened to everyone, and it
ended in everyone's needs being met.
Accommodation - New Family Car
The way we choose to manage conflict varies with each situation depending on
the people involved, our desires, and the individual situations. In many instances
conflict may be managed effectively by several styles. Accommodation is typically looked
at as a lose-win style of conflict management (Beebe, p. 236). In the following scenario
the Terry uses the accommodation style to help manage the conflict of purchasing a new
family car.

Terry: I would like to look at the new convertible that just came out. Ive always
wanted one.
Ann: Im okay if we look at it, but I really feel we should look at some more
sensible vehicles.
Terry: How is the convertible not a sensible car?
Ann: You drive the truck around most of the time. I would appreciate a vehicle
that I am able to drive the kids, and of course, their friends around in. The truck
doesnt fit these needs, and a convertible wouldnt either, I think we should look
at the SUVs or minivans.
Terry: Youre right. You need the space for the kids more than I need a
convertible.

Though Terry accommodated Anns request to look at more sensible cars, the
situation ended up a win-win because, they both realized the need of the family, and
were able to come to a mutual decision.
Compromise - New Family Car
A husband and wife arrive at a car dealership with the intention of buying a new
car. The car they currently have is ten years old, and they recently had a child, so they
feel its time for an upgrade.
As they walk around the parking lot and talk with a salesman, the husband and
wife find they both have very different ideas about what kind of car they want. The
husband is eyeing a sporty red Alfa Romero; a car hes dreamt of having since he was a
little boy playing with hot wheels. The wife wants a practical gray SUV with enough
room for their family, and a large enough trunk for grocery shopping.

The husband and wife quickly began to heatedly discuss (fight) about the
differences in their opinions. Both convinced that what they wanted was the right thing.
They listed the reasons why they wanted was more important and refused to listen to the
other.
Finally, the wife suggested they come to a compromise. The husband calmed
down and they began to look for a car other than an Alfa Romero or an SUV. They
settled on a forest green Honda. A car thats sleeker than an SUV, but still practical. To
resolve the conflict, the husband and wife compromised. Neither of them got exactly
what they wanted, and they bought something in the middle.
It is hard to make suggestions to change any one of these situations simply
because conflict management is something that is determined on the individual scene.
Our suggestion would be to understand yourself, and which styles of management work
best for you, so when any situation comes up you can be ready to use your preferred
style as your go to move.

Works Cited
Beebe, Steven A., Susan J. Beebe, and Mark V. Redmond. "Chapter 8."
Interpersonal Communication: Relating to Others. Boston: Allyn & Bacon, 1996. N.
pag. Print.