MAYBERRY NEWS PAPER

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Mayberry Wedding Announcement!

It was a beautiful spring day, the flowers were blooming alongside Myers lake where Andy and
Opie enjoyed fishing. The Gazebo was set up for the nuptials that have long been awaited for in
Mayberry. Aunt Bea had catered the event with platters of fried chicken and cornbread biscuits
and Opie's favorite butterscotch pecan pie.
Andy wore his Mayberry official officer attire standing in as the best man to his good friend
Barney
started when

Fife who would finally be able to marry the love of his life Gomer Pyle. It all
Barney gave Gomer a ticket for making an illegal U-Turn, but
when Barney does it, Gomer yells "CITIZINS ARREST!"

Gomer

said Barney did something illegal himself. Barney stole his

heart. Congratulations to the happy couple!

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MAYBERRY, NORTH C AROLINE 2000 Y2K

By Adriana Barraza-Marquez
The world as we once knew it came to an end. My name
is John Cena and Im looking for my Aunt Bea have
yall seen her? I didnt believe in Y2K until the 1st wave
hit. We lost all power and everything shut down. No
phones which meant no communication. I saw the world
break down into chaos. I lost her about one week ago
when we went out looking for food and water. The
Sheriff Andy Taylor town told me that he had seen her talking with Stone Cold Steve Austin so I
immediately thought wow Aunt Bea must have gotten really drunk and totally walked off into
the abyss: At this very point, I was not sure if I was actually saving her, or I was about to go
ruin her good timing. Andy Taylor advised me to let her be that she would eventually get back. I
ignored Andys advice and decided to go look for my Aunt Bea, but on the way there, I stumbled
upon the best idea

yet in this post-apocalyptic

world that we

now lived in and it was to go

and grab a

Twinkie.

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Mayberry Love & Hip Hop

By: Benita Bonilla

Here in Mayberry, North Carolina a few of our well known locals has displayed their love out in
public. Last night, was the grand opening of Club XS, the towns one and only nightclub.
Deputy Barnie Fife and Aunt Bea decided to take the night off from fighting crime and baking
goods to join the towns festivities. The pair was spotted in the VIP section of the club, dancing
the night away. The two were with Stevie J., his wife Joseline Hernandez, Cardi B, Mariahlynn,
Rich Dollaz, Joe Budden, Papoose and his wife Remy Ma to name a few. They were popping
bottles and it seemed like the two were having the time of their life. Spectators described how the
pair seemed to be madly in love, they couldnt seem to keep their hands off one another. One
spectator stated, It was nice to see such a hard working couple finally let loose and enjoy life,
after all work isnt everything!

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"Roasted Girl Scouts" By: Joslyn Reese

A wholesome girl scout's table by the Maybury supermaket
was set ablaze on Sunday afternoon. Witnesses speculate the
culprit to be a little girl with ebony pigtails. They described her
as a pale girl wearing all black. "I just couldn't believe a little
girl would do something like this!" said Sheriff Andy Taylor.
"The cookies were burnt to a crisp. A majority of the girls
escaped the scene without any damage except for a young
blond girl named Amanda. She suffered severe burns and half
of her hair sizzled off". The suspect who set fire to the girl scout booth fled the scene before the
police or fire department could arrive. "I know exactly who it was!" stated local woman Aunt
Bea. "I had just bought some cookies from those adorable girl scouts and was walking to my car.
Suddenly, I heard screaming and, right before my eyes, the whole booth was set on fire! It was
that no good Wednesday Adams! She recently moved down the block from me! I could spot her
anywhere!" Police have not placed Wednesday under arrest but is intending to obtain a search
warrant. "I played with her (Wednesday) a couple of times." re-countered Opie Taylor. "She
showed me her voodoo dolls. She has one that has an

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officer uniform, a girl scout uniform, and a lady in a dress. She also introduced me to her family.
I thought it was just my imagination, but I could of sworn I saw a hand walking down the hall".
Sheriff Taylor and the police department strictly enforces the public to report any suspicious
activity deriving from the Adams' residence. Next time, girl scouts might have to go door-to-door
to sell their delicious cookies.