Experimentation with Different Art Tools

Through working with a variety of mediums including

block printing, painting, and sculpting, I had to learn how
to utilize different tools by experimenting with new
techniques in terms of the pressure applications, the
length of brushstrokes, and the speeds of brushstrokes to
create a visually appealing work of art.
The flat brushes were my favorite to use because they were able to create sharp,
For the block printing process, I developed an image,
fine edges if needed, but were also the best at filling in large areas of color like the
transferred it on a panel of linoleum to prepare for
hair or stonelike background in my self portrait, Mariposa. The widths and the
carving. The tools that I used in the carving process
lengths of the flat brushes allowed me to develop long, bold strokes that could not
included the three carving tools that are shown in the top be as easily accomplished with the other types of brushes.
right drawing. The v-shaped carving tool was very useful
in creating precise, straight edges for the outline of the
The round brushes were beneficial in regards to detailing. Particularly in my self
image and was helpful when I had to carve out intricate
portrait, Mariposa, there were a ton of intricate details in the background and
design patterns, such as the henna designs on one of the even on the face that required the use of detailed round brushes especially.
hands in my piece, Well, Do I Have a Choice?. The small
and large rounded cutting tools were important tools for
Lastly, filbert brushes were
carving out the greater areas of white space in the piece,
significant to the blending
as well as for curved lines within the image.
portions of my paintings. Skin
tones, backgrounds, and any
To create my painting pieces, I painted with a wide array
other type of gradation all needed
of paintbrushes: flats, rounds, pointed rounds, angled
blending. Since the filbert brushes
brushes, filberts, and detailed rounds. All of these
have hairs that hold together very
brushes played a different role in my painting process to
nicely when moistened, they
achieve the best results within my works of art.
blend the paint colors smoothly
and neatly.

Planning Sketches
This sketch was my preliminary sketch for my block printing piece, Well, Do I
Have a Choice?. Through the use of a live model, I began laying out the basic
positioning of the hands and emphasized every crease, fold, and fleshy portion
of the hands through dark shading and airy, contour lines. The darker lines in
the drawing show where the black ink will be on the block print, whereas the
lighter areas in the hands will be carved out to appear white.
The inspiration for this piece stemmed from the custom of arranged marriages
paired with Stephen Alcorns The Great Handshake. I took Alcorns idea of unity
to combine it with the feelings of hesitation and beauty. The feelings of
hesitation were captured through the addition of handcuffs because handcuffs
are intended to restrain a persons ability to move which restricts them from
performing certain actions. They suggest being forcefully linked to something
without the ability to control the situation. After a critique of my pecha kucha at
a university, I was inspired to delve deeper into the positive aspects of arranged
marriages to allow me to see from various perspectives. Statistics show that
arranged marriages tend to be very successful and only lead to divorce
approximately 6.3 percent of the time worldwide. This led me to slightly alter
my ideas through a couple of thumbnail sketches by removing the handcuffs so
my piece focused more on the beauty of arranged marriages that is sometimes
overlooked. The negative comments about arranged marriages are represented
through the cracks in the solid black background of my block printing piece.

Planning Sketches

Design Process
1.

2.
This planning technique of using thumbnail sketches for my artwork has become beneficial for
laying out a basic design and familiarizing myself with the main forms within my piece. These
sketches show the design for my block print. At first, the two hands were chained together with
handcuffs and almost appeared to demonstrate an internal battle rather than a unity between two
people. Once I began to research more about the beauty of arranged marriages, I decided to add
henna on the female hand because henna is typically used to beautify the hands and feet of a bride
one night before her wedding ceremony, though it is also used during religious ceremonies.
After multiple sketches of the positioning of the hands and the design possibilities, I gravitated
towards the idea of having the two left hands of the individuals form a yin-yang symbol to suggest
that even if the two newlyweds had differing personalities, they were interconnected and
complementary to one another within the marriage. The henna design was placed on the female
hand, as well as rings to leave a direct notion towards the idea of matrimony.

3.

4.

Hands were showing

more fingers and it
looked like a struggle
within oneself. No
designs included or idea
of marriage.
Repositioned hands so
the designs could be
seen.
Flipped the hands to
make a yin-yang type of
symbol to emphasize
interconnectedness.
Used only left hands for
marriage. Added a ring
and henna designs.
Chain is hanging.

Artist Inspiration and Experimentation

Surrealist artist Rene Magritte once stated, Everything we see hides another thing, we always want to
see what is hidden by what we see. I have always adored Magrittes style, simply because there was a
consistent mysterious aspects to his pieces. For example, in the Son of Man, Magritte hid the mans
face with an apple. He used this same concept in The Lovers II by covering their faces with cloth as they
attempted to kiss one another. It is believed that his mothers death influenced this trend of hiding
faces because she was found in a body of water, apparently drowned and possibly raped because her
dress was sheltering her face. I wanted to mimic Magrittes style by covering the faces of my figures in
my college. One figure would be choking the other, while one tries to defend itself from the aggressors
harm. Through the various sketches that I developed below, I began taking photographs that would
resemble a similar aggression versus passivity and the role that the community plays in large societal
issues such as bullying, unhealthy relationships, and more that deal with a lack of respect.

Magritte, Rene. The Lovers II. 1928. Rene Magritte: Biography, Paintings, and Quotes. 2009. Web. <http://www.renemagritte.org/the-lovers-2.jsp>.

Artist Inspiration and Experimentation

To increase the understanding that this is a broad issue within the communities of the world, I
incorporated the style of Kathe Kollwitz through the addition of a panel of observers behind the two
figures that were physically arguing in the center of the piece. In Kollwitzs The People, a woman is
carved out to be right in the center with her scared child being protected by her arm. Though it appears
to show that the womans surroundings were not that positive, the woman seems to ignore the
negativity and focus solely on providing a healthy environment for her children.
My piece, Suffocation, aims to describe the emotional roller coaster that develops through harassment
or bullying. Today, many people care highly about what others think of them, so they may act differently
than normal to gain approval or status. This topic of allowing events to influence a persons actions is
considered a situational factor as opposed to a dispositional factor. Dispositional factors are when a
persons personality contributes to their behavior, which is exactly what I desired to focus on after
examination of the possible design ideas. To emphasize the effect of the dispositional factors, I created a
red background to symbolize rage and negativity behind the aggressor in the piece, and created a blue
background for the more innocent victim who is being harassed. Words are stained onto the cloths of
the figures as well to show that heart-shattering words that have been directed towards people in the
community.
Kollwitz, Kathe. The People. 1922. Wiki Art: Visual Art Encyclopedia. 2015. Web. <http://www.wikiart.
org/en/kathe-kollwitz/not_detected_235986>.

After being so inspired by surrealism

for my digital collage, I began to find
interest in Salvador Dali. I
appreciated the way he could capture
the essence of a strong emotion in his
pieces through the use of unordinary
figures and different color schemes.

1.

2.
3.
4.

My first sketch shows a portrait of my great aunt. She

has strips of tape covering her mouth to show her
inability to speak clearly.
Mouth is still covered, but it is now a side view to show
her fading memories inside of her head.
I used a vacuum to show that her memories are getting
sucked out of her without her permission.
I used doors that are locked to show she cannot gain
access to the memories anymore.

These were all preliminary sketch ideas for my drypoint piece. I

knew I wanted to connect my work to my great aunt, but I was
not sure if I wanted to do portraiture or create an alternative
method of carrying out my inspiration.

I decided to replicate his use of

unnatural figures by creating an
image that has similarities to The
Burning Giraffe. My figure has a
very slim waist and an upper body
that bends, angled backwards.
Drawers were placed all over the
body like the ones in Dalis paintings
to act as containers for memories.
The figure is propped up with sticks
to show her inability to support
herself on her own. I also was
inspired by some of Dalis other
paintings like The Melting Clock to
create a melting brain, showing the
way memories are draining away.

The inspiration for my drypoint piece was Salvador Dalis Burning

Giraffe. I appreciated the jagged curves of the figure as well as the way
the figure is being propped up on sticks as if it is unable to fully
support itself. This painting deals with surrealist ideas so it focuses on
entering the thoughts of the subconscious mind. This is why the
faceless woman in Dalis work has open drawers on her chest and leg.
It reveals that her thoughts are now unlocked.
I was inspired not only by Dali, but by my great aunt as well. Recently
she has been suffering from a loss of speech and memory, and was
admitted to a nursing home about a year ago because she cannot take
care of herself. Because of this, instead of having all of the drawers
open on the figure, I decided to have one closed to express that some
of my great aunts old memories can no longer be accessed. Since
most of the drawers were open, I allowed some of the contents to fall
out of them and onto the ground. I wanted to draw sacred
photographs and a family tree. I thought of adding a book as well to
represent a life story.

Two drawers replace the area where the heart is, and both
are open to show the vulnerability of my great aunt.
One drawer on the leg is closed to show that certain
memories can no longer be accessed.

A book is open on the ground to

reveal all of the figures life stories.

Photographs are strewn on the

ground and are not developed to
show gradual loss of memory.

The ground is also covered in small

rocks and dirt to express a seemingly
barren landscape, or empty mind.

Dali, Salvador. The Burning Giraffe. 1937. Salvador Dali: Paintings, Biographies, and Quotes. 2011. Web. http://www.dalipaintings.
net/the-burning-giraffe.jsp.

My drypoint piece represents the suffrage of my great aunt through the use of Salvador Dalis techniques. I created a faceless figure with
drawers running down the legs and on the chest that are both open and closed to show the containment of memories. The figure is
being held up by sticks and is holding a melting brain in one hand. I added strips of tape to cover the mouth of the figure to show the
struggle to speak. It represents the anger, frustration, feelings of powerlessness, and impatience that my great aunt feels now that her
speech abilities are fading. Generally, when my great aunt would speak, she would forget what she was going to say so I tied in the idea
of memory loss. This worked well since Dali focused a lot on the mind, memory, and time within his pieces.

Strengths
The figure in my piece,
Memories Fade, looks similar to
that of Dalis in form and
structure.
The folds in the figures dress
appear to look like actual fabric
which is difficult to achieve with
a carving tool into plastic.
My prints came out perfectly
right away. The right amount of
ink was used to create a visually
appealing work of art.

Struggles
In some places, too much
crosshatching was used because
the ink clumped together and
looked overly shaded.
Less background items could
have led to less of a distraction
from the figure itself.
The trees in the background of
the drypoint seem to blend in
with the buildings making them
difficult to identify.

Planning Sketches and Inspiration

For my mixed media piece, I teamed up with the Milwaukee Institute of Art and
Design (MIAD) to present my piece along with the pieces of my fellow
classmates in a critique. Before I got to the point where my work could be
critiqued, I had to figure out what exactly I was intending to create. I found
inspiration in artists, Joseph Cornell and Arman.
Joseph Cornell is an artist who created shadow boxes that were filled with
numerous items such as photographs, book pages, maps, glasses, and birds. All
of the items inside of his boxes share a significant meaning for him whether it
relates to his childhood or memories of his involvement with theater, ballet, or
film.
Arman is an artist who tends to destroy objects and reconstruct them to create
beautiful pieces of work. Common themes that seem to emerge from his pieces
like the two to the right include fragmentation and repetition. These themes
evoke feelings of brokenness and obsession.
I manipulated Armans technique of repetition and fragmentation to come up
with an interesting idea for a shadow box of my own.

(left photo)
Arman. Accumulation. 1973. Museum of Modern
Art. Web. http://theredlist.com/wiki-2-351-8611411-1428-1430-1437-view-abstract-1-profilearman-1.html.
(right photo)
Cornell, Joseph. Beautiful Decay. 2012. The
Joseph Cornell Box. 2015. Web. http://www.
josephcornellbox.com/gallery80.htm.

Process and Planning Sketches for Mixed Media Piece

Below I have laid out planning sketches for my mixed media piece which I titled, Broken Vows, to cope
with my parents divorce. The first side will have the word OVER to signify the end of a relationship. The
use of nails remind me of the piercing pain that I felt when I first realized my parents were no longer
happy with one another. I will use scattered broken glass for the bottom of the piece because it represents
a shattered family. The second side will have book pages, drawings of my parents, a reverse block print
that will spell the word ALONE once reflected. The photo in the bottom right shows the reflection of the
second side of the box. The idea of creating a shadow box with items that deal with inflicting pain on
others is intentional so when a person would peer inside of the shadow box, they would be overwhelmed
with the same scared, hurt, and confused feelings that I felt during my parents unfortunate divorce.

Mixed Media Process

The photos to the left depict some of the progress that I made during the creation of
my mixed media piece.
Side #1: The first side of my mixed media shadow box contains an array of nails,
toothpicks, sticks, and chains to spell out the word OVER in large letters. This project
was a way for me to cope with the recent divorce of my parents. I utilized objects that
had connotations related to pain. The physical process of stabbing each item into the
foam boards was not only relieving for me, but it helped me understand that even
though the relationship between my parents is over, the strong feeling of pain still
remains. A secret note is hidden underneath the circular formation of nails and it
reads, I love you, forever and always. I placed this note underneath the nails to
symbolize the death of love and transition from a phrase that was once true, but is now
a lie.
Side #2: The second side of my mixed media shadow box contained a smaller box
which I painted white and covered with book pages from a book that spoke about the
importance of marriage. On top of the pages, I glued drawings of my parents that I
made for my personal project during sophomore year that I ripped in half for this
piece. I create a reverse block print with the word ALONE to symbolize myself being
stuck in the middle of two people I love very dearly and how I felt when they
separated. The block print is reverse because on the third side of my shadow box, I
included a mirror to reflect the images of the block print and of my parents.

I experimented with the process of outlining and precision by focusing

on certain aspects of Feather including the tiled, circular background,
celtic designs, leaves, and feathers. I also paid close attention to my
abilities to create facial features. The hair was the most difficult to
manage because I needed to try to make the work look curly, so it
required a great deal of blending, reworking, and very fine line work to
show any stray hairs on the head.

For my self portrait, I was inspired by the Art Nouveau

movement because of its impeccable beauty and fine
linework. Alphonse Mucha caught my attention with his
ability to paint women in a fashion that exemplifies their
natural beauty by using soft, fine lines, minimal shading,
and intricate details in the background. His piece Feather
inspired me because it was a profile view, which allowed
me to take a different approach than all of my other
classmates. It also had very intricate details that gave me
the opportunity to test myself in terms of a steady hand
and patience.

Mucha, Alphonse. Feather. 1899. Notes

Preciuses. 2012. Web. http://www.
notesprecieuses.
com/lemagazine/2012/12/24/lesbijoux-art-nouveau-et-affiches-demucha/.

Experimentation and Reflection

I began my experimentation with flesh tones by creating a page with all of
my swatches so I could refer back to it whenever I needed to create a
certain flesh tone. There were ten different tones that I used for my face,
neck, arms, and hands in this piece. The tones were composed of dabs of
white, yellow, red, and blue. Some tones had more of one hue over the
other to create darker or lighter flesh tones. The base flesh tone was
number 1 in the swatches chart, and I began building up the tones with
different layers. After I completed the skin tones to my satisfaction, I
created the outlines for the background. At first, I wanted to paint a
background that was almost exact to that of Muchas, but I realized that
the dimensions of my piece in relation to Feather were not nearly the
same which caused problems for the background, making it look like an
eye shape. I pondered through ideas for a new background and eventually
came up with a stone wall for a clean, classic look.

Planning Sketches - Forming Ideas

These are the planning sketches for my industrial versus
organic piece which is supposed to combine the concepts of
industry with the simplicity of nature.
My first idea is shown in the top right. Sonia Rentsch is an
artist who uses natural objects to criticize guns. I wanted to
create my own collection of guns made out of plants, but
found it difficult to find objects that looked as interesting as
the ones that Rentsch used in her pieces.
My second idea is shown in the bottom right of the screen
and was inspired by all of the oil spills that are polluting the
oceans, resulting in the deaths of marine life. I drew a
collection of shells in the formation of an oil rig to symbolize
the beautiful creatures that are being affected by this terrible
occurrence. This is an idea that I would like to pursue in the
future, but it did not necessarily work out for this project
because the shadow box that I bought to put it in was not
large enough to hold all of the shells.
My third and final idea had a focus on humans becoming industrialized. I connected humans
to industry by creating a skull out of nails, bolts, knobs, and pins.

Developing Ideas for Artist in the City

The Artist portion of my Artist in the City triptych was related to
how I view myself as a person. I began by identifying
characteristics that described me including open-minded,
artistic, quiet, shy, musically-inclined, and a traveler.
I knew that I wanted to make a self portrait of myself. Since I
tend to be described as quiet and shy, I directed my attention
towards facial features that I normally do not want others to see
or perhaps they do not realize. One of these features is the
birthmark next to my left eye. In middle school, I was bullied for
this birthmark so I grew ashamed of it and began growing my
bangs out just to hide it from sight. Another key feature that I
wanted to put a focus on is the scar on the left side of my lip.
When I was younger, my cousins and I were in an arcade in
Branson, Missouri, where my family was hosting a family
reunion. My cousin had his arm on an exercise chair, which I
was standing next to. As soon as he removed himself from the
chair, the arm swung up and hit me in my face. I need stitches
and now have a crooked smile as a reminder of the event.
As I created my sketches, I found it difficult to put emphasis on
these features in a painting, so I shifted my perspective of the
features.

Brainstorming Ideas for a Triptych

Imperfection is beauty. Madness is genius. And
its better to be absolutely ridiculous than
absolutely boring.
-

Marilyn Monroe

This quote by Marilyn Monroe inspired me to create a painting that connects to each one of the sentences in the quote but also connects
to the artist, the way the artist influences the city, and the way the city influences the artist. For the first painting in the triptych, the
inspiration was, Imperfection is beauty. I decided to take a photo of myself with no makeup on to show that my face is not flawless. I
pinpointed the features that I felt insecure about in the past: my birthmark and scar. For the second painting, I connected it to the idea
that, Madness is genius. For awhile, I was determined to be a forensic scientist, crime scene investigator, and pretty much anything
that related to crime or mental illnesses. The way that people think and the reasons for their behavior intrigued me. For this piece, I
wanted to make myself look like a criminal, as if I were taking a mugshot. Earlier this year, I was stalked and harassed. It was an
extremely horrible experience. However, I felt like it fueled a lot of inspiration for my artwork. Because of this experience, I planned to
use the case number from that situation on my mugshot sign. For the final piece in my triptych, I turned to media and its influences on
the majority of adolescents today. As in the rest of my triptych paintings, I strived to include myself so I made a portrait of me out of
technological objects to show how the media has taken over the bodies of many. In doing this project, I began to realize that I made no
connections to any artist, movement, or culture. All I had was an inspirational quote from Marilyn Monroe. Due to this lack of
inspiration, I headed in a new direction.

Artist Inspiration: Jose Royo

Since the first couple ideas I had for the Artist in the City piece did not necessarily
work out, I began searching through different avenues. Eventually I stumbled upon an
talented artist, Jose Royo.
Royo created paintings like the one on the left using
strokes similar to that of an Impressionist artist. His
work is mainly comprised of portraiture of beautiful
women clothed in vintage dresses that reveal their
shoulders. The women tend to be looking off in the
distance and have somber looks on their faces.
Using Estudio by Jose Royo as an inspiration, I
sketched out an image of myself posed with my
shoulder revealed. The most difficult part in creating
the piece was the dress and the flowers. Royo is able to
create the impression of a flower so masterfully. I
attempted to mix colors that would look visually
appealing with each other, but found it difficult to
avoid a mess of brownish paint in the end.
With loads of experimentation, I found a method that
allowed me to create beautiful clothing and flowers
without all of the struggle.
Royo, Jose. Estudio. 2000. Royo Art. 2012. Web. http:
//royoart.com/Art-Details.aspx?ID=34.

Finalizing Ideas for the Other Portions of Artist in the City

For the second part of my triptych, I was inspired by a local artist who attends
the Milwaukee Institute of Art and Design as a senior. His name is Raymond
Carver. He created a work which he titled, Gravy, that summed up exactly
how he felt his school year had been. He used an hourglass as the main focus
of the piece and manipulated a very limited color palette. For my own piece, I
utilized the idea of an hourglass but added in a character who was submerged
under a pile of sand to represent myself. I painted the words running out of
time across the width of the painting and repeated the phrase until the whole
background was covered with it. I thought this choice of lettering paired well
with the pink flower outlines behind the hourglass and the flowers. Overall,
this piece connected to my internal stresses and how that was translated into
my work.
The third portion of my triptych was a challenge. I decided to shift my idea of
knowledge and technology to being above the influence. I used inspiration
from the Above the Influence movement and from Edgar Degas dancers. I
have always admired the way Degas is able to capture the beauty of a dancer
through hazy, yet colorful images of them in movement. I painted in an
impressionist style by using quick movements of the paintbrush and a large
variety of color splatters. I believe dance has been a huge contributor to
keeping me above the influence because so many adolescents are involving
themselves with drugs and hardcore partying, and I credit my hours of
rehearsal to allowing me to better myself rather than cause my body to
deteriorate.

Experimentation with New Mediums

One of my pieces was inspired by my boyfriend, who had the privilege of having a
selection of his photography pieces showcased at the Milwaukee Art Museum. His
photography has been a constant inspiration for me because of his ability to set up
scenes and evoke emotions through pictures. I titled my piece after him, Brandon, and
used one of his photographs as a reference for the work.
For this piece, I wanted to do something that I had never done before: charcoal
drawing. I chose this medium because I have always liked the baroque movement
because of the deep contrast and I thought that a charcoal portrait would allow for a
baroque movement feel. The border that I decided on for this portrait was meant to
make the portrait look more elegant. I found that charcoal tended to smear a lot and
did not always stay on my wood surface too well, so I had to apply layers upon layers
of the charcoal to get the right tones.

I found the mouth of the figure to be the most

difficult feature of the whole face because I got
to play with various textures and line patterns.
With this piece I learned a lot of things about
form and placement. I realized that I could
have used a larger wooden canvas so that I
could have had my figure placed differently for
it to appear more aesthetically pleasing. In the
original reference photograph, the figure was
positioned in the right third of the image to
draw more attention.

Developing Ideas for Pieces of Me

For this piece, I wanted to explore more of my identity through three different lenses: the
events I have experienced or witnessed, flaws that I have grown to embrace, and the words
that motivate me to reach my ultimate goals.
My inspirations for this piece include the theme of identity and a young, talented artist
who attended the summer classes at MIAD. As I walked through the halls of MIAD, I
noticed her piece. It was much more chaotic than mine and had her face sketched on
multiple times, simulating a three-headed monster of some sort. Her medium was
charcoal, but I decided to use graphite on paper to achieve a result that was less messy.
The eyes are known as the "windows to the soul" so the meaning behind the eyes included
some of the major events that occurred in my life over the past two years. I witnessed the
divorce of my parents, and though I was unsure of what exactly was occurring at the time,
I understand that my parents were happier apart. So this experience allowed me to
become more patient and understanding with people, rather than immediately jumping to
conclusions when someone is acting unnaturally. I have experienced harassment and the
death of a loved one. Both of these events shaped me into a person who can handle pain,
but still express grief.

Continuing the Development of Ideas

The nose represents the flaws that I now embrace. I used to hate my nose because I thought it was too round,
too big, and too long. I would be so worried about how I looked and how others perceived me to be that I
began to forget about the beautiful qualities I have. So I started to embrace my flaws to turn them into
something beautiful. I no longer cared that I was not as thin as the girls on the magazines. I did not mind
that my nose was not petite or perfectly straight. I did not care if I looked like more of a Caucasian than a
Mexican. I simply embraced it.
The mouth focused on the words that motivate me to reach my goals. People always tell me that I am going
to be successful. So I think maybe that is what pushed me to begin thinking about a career in healthcare,
because what can be considered more successful than a doctor, right? The truth is, I do not know. But this
unknown is what is motivating me to continue on. I am aware that time is flying, but my goals are still intact.
Graduate high school. Go on to college. Get a degree. Get married. Have children. Be happy. All of these
things are pieces of me that make me who I am.
For the process of this piece, I used the grid method to ensure that all of the features were proportionate.
Then I began to work my way from the highlights to the shadows to create a great depth with the piece. The
graphite did get a bit difficult to work with at some points, especially with the nose because there was less
gradation because there were not as many harsh lines. So I had to try to create a form that was relatively
close to the shape of my nose by using softer lines to create the three-dimensional effect. Once the graphite
portion of the piece was completed, I tilted each facial feature slightly and spread them out to show the
brokenness between the features, but still made it possible to distinguish the whole face of the figure. All of
the parts were sealed onto a black board to add the final finish to the piece.

Expressionism and Pop Art Meet

The main theme that I intended to capture with this expression series is identity. A lot of teenagers struggle with very strong emotions
that may sometimes become uncontrollable if they do not receive proper help. So my pieces explore these emotions and show that they
are not just black and white. There are a lot of gray areas that provide reasoning for these emotions that may not always be clear to the
people who are either feeling these emotions or are witnessing them.
Depression is a large issue throughout the world that can lead to negative outcomes such as experimentation with sex, drugs or alcohol, a
loss of interest in activities that the affected people were previously interested in, and suicide. People in the community have created
movements such as the semicolon movement to emphasize that a person's life does not need to end because of depression. People are
encouraged to draw a semicolon on their wrist to show those who are depressed that society cares and wants to help them defeat the
sadness. The message that goes along with this movement is, "A semicolon represents a sentence the author could've ended, but chose not
to. The author is you and the sentence is your life. Your story isn't over yet." This movement gives people hope and motivates them to
push past the obstacles to experience the happiness they truly deserve.
For all of these reasons, I decided to create my piece which I titled, "Depression." The painting depicts my face displaying a deeply sad
expression in a pop art style with a German Expressionist feel to it. To make sure that I had the correct proportions, I used the grid
method to create my face on the canvas before I began painting with my medium: acrylic. I chose acrylic paint because I wanted to
experiment with it a bit more. I also thought it would give me the opaque tones that I needed for the black to stand out in the painting.
The color palette I chose was black and white because I felt that colors would be too distracting and take away the emotions that I desired
to evoke in the audience. Instead of creating the hair all perfectly laid on my shoulders, I used wild brushstrokes to simulate the effect
that depression can have on some people. Depression is a disorder that tends to spread onto its surroundings. If the people who surround
me are negative, the chances of me developing a negative attitude are higher than if they were not negative. This works in a similar
fashion for positivity, which is why people who are depressed need to be surrounded by positive influences rather than people who
remind them of their supposed "worthlessness."

Exploring the Concept of Confusion

To follow along with the theme of identity while dealing with strong emotions, this piece was influenced by the idea of losing oneself
and not knowing which path to take in life, so I titled the piece, "Confusion." There have been many events over the course of the past
two years that left me unsure of where to turn. My parents had a sudden, unexpected divorce after a marriage of 16 years. My great
grandmother who was loved so dearly, passed away. Worst of all, I was stalked and harassed by someone who I loved and cared about
deeply. When the stalking began happening, I was so confused and scared. I did not understand why love could lead to an obsession
that ended up murdering my relationship with this ex-boyfriend of mine, but it happened. Sometimes I wish it never did, though.
Sometimes I wish that I could have experienced what that love could have felt like without all of the obsession. Would it have been
different? Would we have lasted forever? Questions like these confused me. I knew that nothing could excuse the pain and fear that
he forced upon me, but I cannot help but wonder how the events would have played out if he had made the error with someone else
first.
It seems wrong to forgive someone who caused me so much heartache, but the wise words of Charlotte Bronte in her novel, Jane
Eyre, led me to the conclusion that forgiveness is all I can do since communication with him is restricted by a restraining order that I
placed upon him. All the court dates, all the sleepless nights... all of it just to be forgiven. Bronte writes, "Would you not be happier if
you tried to forget [his] every insult? To me, life is too short to be spent nursing in hatred. We are all burdened with faults in this
world. But the time will soon come when we shall leave our earthly bodies, and only our spirits will remain... I hold a belief, which no
one ever taught me, that makes Eternity a home, a place of rest. With this belief, I can forgive... Revenge never worried my heart - I
live in calm, looking to the end" (Bronte 44). Before this year, all I wanted was revenge. He ruined my relationships with people, my
reputation, and my life by his actions. I no longer wanted to live with this hatred that I harbored for him, so I forgave him silently.
From this experience, I found my identity. I now knew the type of person I wanted to be. My mind was rid of the cloudiness from
thoughts of revenge. It was clear that the path I chose after this terrible event was the right one. Others are not always that lucky.
People turn to the influence of drugs and alcohol to find their meaning in life, without realizing that those pieces do not fit in their
puzzle. To create this piece, I used the same methods as in "Depression." The photo reference for this piece had a more dumbfounded
expression to symbolize the feelings of confusion. The eyes are wide open to show a shocked expression. The mouth is closed on the
image because normally people who are confused do not know what to say. I also used less black to show that a clouded mind can be
cleared and does not usually spread onto others the way depression or sadness might.

Exploring the Feeling of Anxiety

I titled the third piece in the expression series triptych, "Anxiety." This piece was my favorite to create because since I already
created two other pieces similar to it, I was able to experiment more with brushstrokes and shading or lack thereof. Again, I used
the grid method because it allows for more proportional work which tends to be a style of mine. The photo reference for this portrait
had squinted eyes to emphasize that the figure wants to block out the events that are causing stress. The mouth is also open to show
that the figure is attempting to scream out of pure frustration or overwhelming stress.
I chose anxiety as the main emotion for this piece because the majority of teenagers experience a great deal of stress throughout
their high school years and during their transition to college life. Some people in society believe that being a teenager is easy, but I
beg to differ. It is extremely difficult to maintain a high grade point average while still training for sports, participating in
afterschool clubs, volunteering, attending dance practices, maintaining personal relationships, working eight-hour shifts, fulfilling
sleeping requirements, and much more. Some teenagers might be able to handle it all easily, while others fall victim to unwanted
stress.
Anxiety is, by definition, the condition of feeling uneasy or worried about what may happen. It is recognized by the brain when the
sounds and visuals that are recognized by the prefrontal cortex begin to send signals to the brain to show whether the body senses a
danger. If it does, the amygdala is stimulated. This part of the brain is responsible for displaying strong emotions like fear or stress.
The hippocampus, another part of the brain, functions as the memory center for the brain, reminding it about previous emotions
that were connected to a specific event. When the situation arise again, it sends the information to the amygdala to initiate a fight or
flight response in the body. This leads to symptoms such as restlessness, rapid heart rate, trembling, and shortness of breath.
These symptoms intrigued me to research more to see how anxiety and depression could be reduced. So in the future, I plan to
create a new series that focuses on the body parts that are affected from disorders or conditions like the ones that I focused on for
my triptych.

Planning with Watercolor Paint

Though I experienced drawing a clothed model during the summer, I was not able to experiment with creating a still life
piece. I have done still life pieces with pastel, charcoal, pen, and pencil before, but never with acrylic. I was inspired by the
skull the most because I feel it captured the audience's attention really well. The vintage books also created an almost
deathlike feel. All of these objects were once alive or used by live people and were now abandoned. I chose to use color to
add some brightness to my senior work since so much of it was focused on emotions and self-identity.
This piece was inspired by a still life scene that was laid out on a table. I chose to paint this portion of the still life scene
because I loved the arrangement. The way the skull was leaning against the old, vintage books intrigued my eye and urged
me to explore the area in more detail. I noticed the patterns in the blanket that the books were on top of and the shadows
on the china bowl that was slightly hidden behind the stack of books. The scene looked cluttered, but had enough open
space and color that allowed it to feel balanced. The way the brightly colored ribbon cuts through the scene contrasted with
the deep grays of the file cabinet that was positioned next to the table.
To prepare for this piece, I began by creating a watercolor sketch of the scene to layout the basic
colors that I intended to use. In the watercolor sketch, I excluded the file cabinet and deer head. I
feel like including them filled up the space a bit more, so I appreciate the choice I made as an
artist. After the watercolor sketch, I sketched the shapes of the scene onto the canvas. I used the
technique of having a burnt sienna undercoat so the tones blend more smoothly. I think this
technique allowed me to have more success with the books especially. I thought it would give me
problems when it came to the skull, but I think it improved my gradations greatly.
I think I could have brightened up the painting more if I used brighter tones in the blankets to
create a contrast with the dark tones of the deer head and file cabinet, since they are the darkest
objects in the scene. If I used a hot pink tone, it could have created a nice-looking piece so I could
rework those tones so they appear brighter. The skull was the most successful portion of this piece
because of the gradations and proportion.