Review of the Critical Review

Your Name: Kathy Nguyen

Partners Name: Nicholle Ramos
Date: March 17, 2016
Please read your partners draft without making any notes or comments; read only for content and comprehension.
Please re-read your partners draft, and now seek out the following items, even if you need to go through the draft
multiple times...
1. Identify the thesis. Indicate how clear it is to you; state how it could be clearer or more specific.
Wheres your thesis?
2. Highlight each point used to support the thesis. Mark them as Point One, Point Two, etc..
You could use this line from your critical review Randy cared for his studentsand he wanted to see them succeed
and realize their full potential (point one) to help form a thesis.
And this one too Point two: the book puts life into perspective and gives us a reminder of the importance of time
and living life accordingly.
3. Go back to Point One, and look for a why statement (a reason why Point One is so/is true/is the case...) given
after it. When found, highlight it. Repeat this with each Point.
4. Go back through the support points, and flag any which do not make sense as Illogical offer suggestions how
to make it clearer. Do this for each point.
I think theyre both clear
5. Find where two (2) quotes or statements from The Last Lecture were used in the review. Mark as Quote One
and Quote Two. If the statement is not a direct quote, but paraphrased, that is fine, still use Quote One and Quote
Two. If you cannot find two such quotes or statements, offer suggestions on where they might be used and why so.
Instead of praising them on their good job the told them that it was pretty good, but they can do better. The
students continued to blow him away and kept improving with their creations. quote one
Quote Two: Time is all you have. And you may find one day that you have less than you think.
6. Go through the draft and circle each time you find each of these four (4) words. These words weaken
vocabulary and writing. They can be omitted or should be replaced with stronger works. Circle all uses of:
* very
* really
* just
* a lot (or a lot)
Add up the total number of four words circled and write that total here: ONE!!
Offer suggestions on substitute words to make the vocabulary stronger in the draft itself, whenever possible
I highlighted them in green (happy st patricks day!!)
You could say extremely instead of very
Rate your partners work on the following elements. Use a scale of 1 (needing revision) - 5 (being superior). Offer
a reason afterward for each.
7. Overall Logic:

Reason: Its pretty straightforward

8. Overall Clarity:

Reason: theres no thesis

9. Overall Content:

Reason: have more support as to why its a good read

10. I would suggest my partner do the following to earn the highest grade possible on this assignment:
write a thesis and then find points to support it, other than that youre good! Books are underlined not italicized