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Justin Le
Professor Beadle
English 113B
4 April 2016
As Maturing Love
The definition of love varies from situation to situation. Love is defined as an intense
feeling of deep affection by Websters dictionary. Love is something that cannot be defined, but
only felt or experienced. Some can define love as gestures, romantic dates, or material goods.
My parents define love as putting up with each others jokes, always being there for each other,
and the small things. Love can be put into many different categories, there is love for family,
love for best friends and romantic love. Love can differ at different ages, as in, teenage love or
adult love. In the novel Every Day by David Levithan, the main character A wakes up in a new
body every day until one day he or she wakes up in the body of Justin and falls in love with a girl
named Rhiannon. A tries to stay in touch with Rhiannon even though he or she is changing
bodies every day while also struggling to convince her that A really does love Rhiannon.
Rhiannon knows that As experience of love is limited to one day. A tries to win Rhiannons
love through his or her experiences concerning relationships through couples well-matched
personalities, overcoming challenges, and romantic gestures to show that their relationship is
worth risking everything for. However, as A matures and discovers that love is wanting the best
for the one that they love.
A is constantly fighting the uphill battle with love throughout the novel. A is always
trying to show Rhiannon that A truly loves her and she can trust A. Sometimes A doesnt realize
that he or she is taking gestures too far. While A was in the Ashleys body, [A] needs [Justin] to

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lean into [A]. [A needs] him to give in to what he wants. [A needs] him to take it one step
further (Levithan 162). A wants Rhiannon to think that Justin is not into her anymore, but it
backfires on A. Rhiannon starts to think that Justin is not a bad boyfriend anymore and gets mad
at A and A loses Rhiannon trust. This makes A look like a bad person in Rhiannons eyes. It
makes Rhiannon question A how far he or she is willing to go to have Rhiannon fall for A.
Two days later A meets up with Rhiannon to explain him or herself, then A establishes
what love is for A, while in Adam Cassidys body, This is what love does: It makes you want to
rewrite the world. It makes you want to choose the characters, build the scenery, guide the plot
(Levithan 175). As definition of love is romantic, but unrealistic. A thinks love is like a
fairytale, where the prince tries to change the world for the princess. However, Rhiannon is
realistic and knows life is not a fairytale. She knows that sometimes things will never work out
with the person who she loves. Rhiannon knows that their relation cannot work out because they
cannot do normal things, such as having A meet Rhiannons parents, friends, and family.
A has a romantic perspective of love because A can only observe people in love. A has
experienced bodies that were in love and relationships. A does a lot of reading and his definition
of love comes from the novels A reads. A has seen many different lives and that has caused him
to come up with a romantic definition of love because that is what A wants and hopes to have
someday with Rhiannon. However, A has only loved one other person, besides Rhiannon and
they only communicated through email, but it could not work out because [Brennan] wanted to
Skype. Then visiting again so [A] had to end it (Levithan 158). It is hard for A to love
someone and that someone love A back because A is different. A struggles to trust someone
enough with his huge secret until he met Rhiannon. This makes As argument that he or she

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knows what love is, weaker because A only loved one other person before Rhiannon. Rhiannon
has a chance to love other people like her parents, friends, and other boyfriends.
A and Rhiannon have different perspectives on love, A has the romantic view on love
while Rhiannon has the realistic view on love. Rhiannon knows that their relationship will never
work out. They try to live a happy romantic love life that A wants but it never works out because
Rhiannon is always saying that she cant do it, and A is trying to prove that they can. In the
Self-Identity and Culture, an article on how self-identity and culture are found and it states,
People often assume their cultural identities are normal (until people) begin to interact with
others who do not share their same beliefs and behaviors (Jackson, Glenn, and Williams 117).
This goes for the same with A and Rhiannons idea of love, they did not learn that people see
love differently until they met each other. Having two different views on love both of them try to
comprise and create their own definition of love and how they express their love. It helps them
try and figure out how to make their relationship last and work for the future.
A knows from experience that couples need to some connection in order to work. As in,
similar habits and interests. A and Rhiannon both want to be spontaneous and romantic. The first
time in Justins body A meets Rhiannon and A asks where she wants to go and if she [said],
Lets go to the mall, I will disconnect. If she says, Take me back to your house, I will
disconnect But she [said] I want to go to the ocean I feel myself connecting (Levithan
10). As constant use of repetition of If she says I will disconnect demonstrates that A was
so sure that they were not going to connect. A uses the typical answers most people would have
given in that scenario, but Rhiannon answers with something that A doesnt expect and that
shows that Rhiannon is not who A expected to be, then they start connecting. A and Rhiannons
personalities match perfectly because in the car ride to the beach A lets Rhiannon have control of

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the radio and A knows that is rare in Justin and Rhiannons relationship. They both hear a song
come on the radio and they both start singing, this shows that they connect, they both sing in the
car. Both of their personalities are starting to connect and they become attracted to each other.
Even though A is starting to fall for Rhiannon, A knows for a fact that there will
be complications because of As constant change of bodies and A cannot drastically change the
peoples lives of the bodies. As constant change of bodies makes it hard for Rhiannon to love A
because she knows that every single day A will be a new person, boy or girl. Rhiannon tries to
paint a mental image of A, but she struggles because she doesnt know if A is a boy or girl. She
only knows that she can tell who A is, is through their eyes. Since A is always changing bodies
Rhiannon finds it weird to kiss another girl even though she knows its A underneath. Rhiannon
explains to A why they will never work out Youre a different person every day. I know its you
underneath. I know its just the package. But I cant, A. (Levithan 278). Rhiannon use of I
know, I cant illustrates that Rhiannon is absolutely sure that she knows it wont work out. She
never mentions how A could be different. She only mentions how she tried to change, but she
cannot have this relationship. Rhiannon knows that there are too many obstacles in the way of
their love. A and Rhiannon need to agree on a reasonable distance and closeness between each
other, the article, Adult Attachment Styles: Some Thoughts on Closeness-Distance Struggles
state, adults are attachment figures for one another, as part of their relationship functioning,
they must regulate the amount of distance that is tolerable in order not to experience separation
anxiety (Pistole). Rhiannon feels that they are too far apart because she cannot see A whenever
she wants to, only on As time. She tries to tolerate the distance, but she was furious when A
could not come to the log cabin, The problem was I thought you were coming. So I couldnt
leave And you never came (Levithan 254). Rhiannon is slowly realizing that she cannot do

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their relationship because there is always be a time limit. She will never have the chance to wake
up one morning and see A lying next to her. She knows that she cant do normal teenagers do
like go to prom, have A meet her friends, or meet her parents. Their relationship will never be
normal and Rhiannon cannot handle that. She wishes that A was normal because she would have
fallen for A.
A has two lives, the one with Rhiannon or the one where he changes bodies every day. In
the article My Hips, My Caderas by Alisa Valdes-Rodriguez, an article about Rodriguez stuck
in between two worlds, one where they appreciate her hips and one where they appreciate her
mind. Rodriguez is lucky to be able to move between two worlds (16). Unlike Rodriguez A
does not have the chance to move between his love life and his normal life. Rhiannon and A tried
to make it work, but Rhiannon struggles with the constant change in her life. She wants
something stable where she can depend on A to be there on her terms. Throughout the book, it
has been on As terms. She does not get the chance to be selfish, if A cannot meet up Rhiannon
just has to accept that A cannot be there and she cannot do a thing about it. Another things that is
pushing her away from loving A.
After all the challenges and hurdles that A and Rhiannon go through A finally realize that
A loves Rhiannon so much that he or she needs to keep Rhiannon safe from Reverend Pool and
his or her world. As choice of giving up on Rhiannon to make her happy shows that he or she
has matured enough to give Rhiannon the happy life she wants even though it is not with A. In
the article Origin of Modern Ideas of Love and Loss: Contrasting Forerunners of Attachment
Theory mentions, patterns of insecure attachment, whichimportantlyare linked to
inconsistent treatment, neglect, and/or rejection by the caregiver. As such, the style of attachment
of the caregiver has a major impact on that of the infant/child (Archer and Stroebe). A did not

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grow up with a mother and did not have a secure feeling of who his mother was. Until he or she
met Rhiannon and A desperately tried to win Rhiannons love and live happily together, A
finally felt a sense of securement and did not want to lose it. However, A matured and decided
to let her go for Rhiannon safety. A knows that he or she wants Rhiannon to be happy if it is with
A or not. A decides give Rhiannon the happy and normal life that she wants even though it
comes with cost of As happy ending with Rhiannon. This shows that A does not have insecure
attachment issues anymore and has matured into an adult.
A tries to win Rhiannons love through his or her experiences and experiences that he or
shes seen concerning relationships through couples well-matched personalities, overcoming
challenges of distance and separation, and maturing love. With A and Rhiannons uphill battle of
love, each others ideas of love clashing where A is a romantic and Rhiannon is realistic. Their
different views of love help each other learn what they want. A discovers its unfair to make
Rhiannon live by As calendar and availability and decide to let Rhiannon go and move on. A
finally realizes that he wants to keep Rhiannon safe and happy even if its losing Rhiannon.

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Work Cited
Jackson, Ronald L., II, Cerise Glenn, and Kesha Morant Williams. "Self-Identity and Culture."
Inter/cultural Communication: Representation and Construction of Culture.
By Anastacia Kurylo. Los Angeles: SAGE, 2013. N. pag. Print.
Levithan, David. Every Day. New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 2012. Print.
Pistole, Carole M. "Adult Attachment Styles: Some Thoughts on Closeness-Distance
Struggles." Family Process 33.2 (2004): 147-59. Web. 3 Apr. 2016.
<http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com.libproxy.csun.edu/doi/10.1111/j.15455300.1994.00147.x/full>.
Stroebe, Margaret S., and John Archer. "Origins Of Modern Ideas On Love And Loss:
Contrasting Forerunners Of Attachment Theory."
Review Of General Psychology 17.1 (2013): 28-39. PsycARTICLES. Web. 3 Apr. 2016.
Valdes-Rodriguez, Alisa. "My Hips, My Caderas." Writing: A Guide for College and beyond.
By Lester Faigley. New York: Longman, 2010. N. pag. Print.