RULES:

*No import statements (or requires a protective tariff)

Booleans: true -> fact, false -> lie
*Not portable
Not compatible with PC
Variable names are English only, and either short or popular words only
Don't run if file contains "Hillary", "Muslim", "Mexico", etc...
Error messages are all Trump quotes
No floating point numbers, America doesn't do things halfway
$4B always converted to $10B
"Yell" or "Exclaim" are the prints to std out
America = Great is the equivalent of exit(0)
Strings that are yelled, or all strings can only be uppercase
Numbers have to be greater than $1mill
No build-in random generation
"Build a fence" should do something ???
For loop could be "Get 10 Mexicans to build a wall"
Start closure with ':', end it with '!'
Use 'x' as multiplication?
Division always rounds up
Periods are our 'newline' characters
Assignment is done via "x is y" and "Make x <- y"
Equality check: put "?" at end of word
"Guarantee" defines a function
"Do" calls a function
Null is "Jeb"?
DEMO:
FizzBuzz = Fiorina Bush
KEYWORD MAPPING:
None -> Jeb
False -> lies, nonsense
True -> truth, fact
and -> AND
assert -> absolutely
break -> capiche
def -> guarantee
if, elif, else -> if, else if, else
is -> is
not -> not
or -> or
pass -> ???
return -> ???
while -> as long as
print -> tell, say
< -> less, fewer, smaller
> -> more, greater, larger
OTHER:
Allow a couple of different variations on the ending