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Untitleddocument
Mrs.Pritchard
EnglishII
19November2015
DarkRomanticLiteraryAnalysisCorrections
Arg12a
Original:Thehumanmindcanbegreatlyaffectedbyhowtheyactinsociety.
o
ThissentencehasanIndefinitepronounerrortheerroristhepronoundoesnotmatchnounitrefers.
o
Tofixthesentence,youcanchangethepronountheytoheorshe.
Fixedsentence:TheHumanmindcanbegreatlyaffectedbyhowheorsheactsinsociety.
Awkwardrephrase:
Original:In"TheLightningRodMan"themanisconnectedtothedarkstormovercast:
o
Thissentenceisconfusingandawkward,thesentenceneedstoflowsothereadercanunderstandthe
quoteinthefollowingsentence.
o
Youcanfixthestructuralerrorbychangingthearrangementofthesentence.
FixedSentence:TheCharacterintheLightingRodmanappearsfromthestormandhasastrong
connectiontotheweatherovercast:
p21a:
Original:Whatgrandirregularthunder,thoughtI,standingonmyhearthstoneamongthe
Acroceraunianhills,asthescatteredboltsboomedoverheadandcrasheddownamongthevalleys,every
boltfollowedbyzigzagirradiations,andswiftslantsofsharprain,whichaudiblyrang,likeachargeof
spearpoints,onmylowshingledroof(Melville756)
o
Thereisamissingperiodinthequote.
o
Tofixthisproblemaddaperiodinbetweenthequoteandpagenumber.
Fixedsentence:Whatgrandirregularthunder,thoughtI,standingonmyhearthstoneamongthe
Acroceraunianhills,asthescatteredboltsboomedoverheadandcrasheddownamongthevalleys,every
boltfollowedbyzigzagirradiations,andswiftslantsofsharprain,whichaudiblyranglikeachargeof
spearpoints,onmylowshingledroof.(Melville756)
p17aI(h)
Original:Poeusesimageryinthisportionofthesecondstanza"Besilentinthatsolitude,/Whichis
notlonelinessforthen/Thespiritsofthedeadwhostood/Inlifebeforetheeareagain(Poe68).
o
Inthesentencethereisamissingcomabeforeadirectquotationandsentencesneedcommastosetof
directquotationswithintroducedexpressions.
o
Tofixtheproblemthesentenceneedsacommaaftertheintroductionandbeforequotation.
Fixedsentence:Poeusesimageryinthisportionofthesecondstanza,"Besilentinthatsolitude,/
Whichisnotlonelinessforthen/Thespiritsofthedeadwhostood/Inlifebeforetheeareagain(Poe
68).
WrongWord:
Original:Themanssinseparatedhimfromsociety,whichhavealargeeffectonhimmentally
o
Thesentencehastheerrorofanincorrectwordusedinthesentence.
Thedeadwordcanalterbychangingthecontext,soitfitsintothesentence.
Fixed:Theman`ssinseparatedhimfromsociety,whichhadatremendouspsychologicalimpact.
Fs15:
Original:Hawthornecreatesacommontheme,usingtheveil,aboutthepowerofguiltandwhatitcan
dotopeopleandhoweachpersoncopeswithit.
o
Thesentencehasastructuralerror,andthesentenceisarunon.
o
Thestructuralerrorcanbefixedbysplittingupthesentences.
Fixed:Hawthornecreatesacommontheme,fromtheveil.Theveildisplaysthepowerofguilt,whatit
candoto,andhoweachpersoncopeswithit.
Wrongword:
Original:Thetoneofthestorychangesfrompeacefulbutthenescalatestodarknesstheargumentative
tonecreatesthemaninthestormjustasdestructiveasthestormandasstrange
o
Thesentencehasincorrectwording.
o
Youcanfixtheerrorbychangingthewordingandcreatingamorestructuredsentence.
Fixed:Thetoneofthestorychangesfrompeacefulbutthenescalatestodarknesstheargumentative
toneshapesthemaninthestormlikethedestructivestormandstrangestorm.
IncorrectPhrasing:
Original:ThroughoutDarkRomantic`sincludingMelville,Poe,andHawthorne,theirwriting
expressesthethemeofcharactersstrugglingtofitintoasocialmold.
o
Thesentenceusesincorrectphrasing,anditintroducestheparagraphwiththeincorrectphrasingofthe
sentence.
o
Tofixthesentence,changethebeginningofthesentence.
Fixed:InDarkRomanticliteratureincludingMelville,Poe,andHawthorne,theirwritingexpressesthe
themeofcharactersstrugglingtofitintoasocialmold.
1arg10
Original:In"MinistertheBlackVeil"weseeanunfamiliarobjectthatcauseacommotioninthemold
ofsocietythattownsfolkareusedto.
o
Thesubjectandtheverbdisagree.
o
Thesentencecanalterbymakingthesubjectandverbagree.
Fixed:In"MinistertheBlackVeil"weseeanunfamiliarobjectthatcausesacommotioninthemold
ofsocietythattownsfolkareusedto.
MissingWord,p17j,arg10,
Original:Melville'swriting,thenarrator,seesamysteriousstormandmeetsanunacquaintedmanwho
comesintothesmallhomeandcreatestensionbetweenthetwo.
o
Therearecrucialerrorsmissingwords,incorrectusageofcommas,andnotmakingthesubjectand
verbagree.
Thesentencecanimprovebychangingthestructureofthesentencetofixtheerrors.
Fixed:Melville'swritingthenarratorseesamysteriousstormandmeetsanunacquaintedmanwho
arrivesinthesmallhomeandcreatestension.
Frag14:
Original:InDarkRomanticwritingsfeaturedcharactersstrugglingtoformintothesocietalmoldof
theirlifestyleandtheirprestigiouswayofcopingwithbeingdifferentanddealingwiththeirslowdescent
intomadness.
o
Thesentenceisafragmentthatneedstobesplituptoorganizedtheinformationinthesentence.
o
Tofixtheproblem,repairthesentencefragmentandcreateanewsentence.
Fixed:InDarkRomanticcharactersstruggletofitintotheirsocietalmold.Thewritingsalsoshow
theirmethodsofcopingwithbeingdiverse.