112 THE SOCIAL TODDLER
! Picture story
MANAGING A TANTRUM (1)
1 Tom points to a radio, which
belongs to his sister, Laura. He
vocalises to Mandy that he wants it.
Mandy says, ‘No Tom, it’s Laura’s.’
7 Tom manages to take some steps
towards Mandy. With encouragement
and empathy…
13 Tom makes a desperate grab for
the toy, snatching it out of Mandy’s
hand.
12-24 MONTHS: THE SECOND YEAR
Younger children
2 Tom chooses to ignore Mandy and
climbs onto the table to get the radio.
Mandy calmly repeats, ‘No Tom, it’s
Laura’s,’ adding, ‘No climbing on the
table’ as she lifts him off…
8 …Tom is now able to hug Mandy.
14 Tom throws it away, as he cries
and shouts out, ‘NO.’ Mandy does
not respond to his action. (Nor would
she if he had hit her or bitten her.)
TOM 19 months
>
3 …and places him on the floor.
Tom protests, vocalising loudly and
crying.
>
9 But only for a few seconds, before
he pulls away and…
>
15 By remaining in control herself,
Mandy knows she is supporting Tom
in his attempts to self-calm. Tom
becomes exhausted and…
PHYSICAL & EMOTIONAL DEVELOPMENT – TANTRUMS 113
Tom became frustrated when his mother Mandy misunderstood what he was trying to convey to
her, (see ‘Misunderstandings’, page 38). Although Mandy quickly rectified the situation, Tom
continues to find his frustration hard to manage on his own, and needs extra support from Mandy.
4 He runs off, screaming. 5 Mandy crouches down a little way 6 When he glances towards her she
from Tom and watches. She gives him offers him a supporting hand.
some space and lets him try to cope
with his feelings.
10 …his tears and anger return. 11 In order to distract Tom, Mandy 12 …his crying momentarily stops
Mandy remains calm and stays near selects some possible toys they can when Mandy says, ‘Oh! Look what
him as she turns her attention to the play with together. Tom begins to I’ve found.’
toy basket. calm and…
16 …sinks into Mandy’s lap. She 17 Mandy then introduces another 18 She ignores his slight protest and
wipes his tears away as she toy, about which Tom vocalises at uses the pop-up toy to distract him.
empathises with him. first, but Mandy remains enthusiastic. Tom settles down and joins in. In less
than 3 minutes Tom is smiling and
happy again.