Tritt 1

Alex Tritt
Writing 2
De Piero
4-18-16
Whats in the Box?
The wheels of your shopping cart screech in protest as you turn down the most
difficult grocery store aisle for the indecisive mind the cereal aisle. Boxes upon boxes
line the shelves on both sides of you. Your 6-year-old son sprints ahead of you and

Zack De Piero 4/25/2016 2:05 AM

Comment [1]: Ha! :) Great start, Tritt.

selects two boxes after only several seconds of contemplation. After a few minutes of
glossing over each box, you come to a conclusion as well. As you set down your box of
Special K next to your sons more colorful selections Froot Loops and Frosted Flakes
you think about how bland and boring your box looks. Both of the boxes are advertising
cereal and certainly have a lot of features in common, but his box is covered in games
and cartoons and yours is covered in words and numbers. This is no accident; the
design of a Kelloggs cereal box uses different rhetorical appeals based on the age of
the consumer that the company is attempting to sell that particular cereal to.
The focus on visual appeal makes it clear that the intended buyers of Froot
Loops are children. The primary goal of the boxs design is to attract a certain audience
kids using color; all children are drawn to pretty things. Even among a small army of
other cereals, its hard to miss a Froot Loops box on the shelf. The bold red background
makes it immediately stand out. The name of the cereal appears under the Kelloggs
logo in large, white lettering that starkly contrasts the background. For all cereals, the

Zack De Piero 4/25/2016 2:07 AM

Comment [2]: I <3 the intro here, Tritt,
but I need more of a specific, driving
thesis statement. What, exactly, are you
going to be arguing here? What are the
different rhetorical appeals that you'll be
analyzing? And do the companies use
these appeals in different ways? Also, if
you're ultimately getting at the kids-vsadult audience factor, I think you might
want to spell that out explicitly in your
thesis statement. One last q: what about
the conventions within this genre will you
be emphasizing?

name of the product takes up roughly one third of the box because it has so many other
products on the shelf to compete against. Because of the small size of the cereal box,
Kelloggs faces a constraint; there isnt a lot of surface area that they can fill with text

Zack De Piero 4/25/2016 2:08 AM

Comment [3]: True! Solid observation. I
like how you acknowledged the WHY
behind this convention too.

Tritt 2
about how great their cereal is. A company has to decide what keywords are important
the product name, a brief description of the cereal, a catchy slogan and make them
visually pop. Kelloggs wants to sell their cereal thats their exigence, or purpose of

Zack De Piero 4/25/2016 2:08 AM

Comment [4]: :)
Zack De Piero 4/25/2016 2:09 AM
Comment [5]: You're doing a great job of
rocking the dashes here, sister.

their box design and the first step in doing so is designing a box that draws the eye
directly to it.
When you compare the Froot Loops box and the Frosted Flakes box, theyre
actually quite similar. This is because genres develop because they respond
appropriately to situations that writers encounter repeatedly (Dirk 252). A long time ago,
a cereal box designer used visual appeal in order to specifically target children for the
first time. Upon his success, another person [used] the first response as a basis for the

Zack De Piero 4/25/2016 2:09 AM

Comment [6]: Similar in what way(s)? I
think that the best topic sentences are the
most specific ones -- by giving your reader
a clear path to follow, they'll be able to
read with more attention/awareness.

second, and eventually everyone who [encountered] this situation [based] his/her
response on the previous ones (Dirk 252). Cereal boxes designed for children share a
lot of the same conventions. For example, the Frosted Flakes box displays bold, vibrant

Zack De Piero 4/25/2016 2:10 AM

Comment [7]: Nice use of the course
readings here, Tritt.

colors in the same style as the Froot Loops box. The use of orange and blue
complementary colors causes the box to stand out on the shelf and attract the eyes of
young shoppers. This is visual appeal at work, which is a strong tactic to use when trying
to peak the interest of children. Another similarity between the two cereal boxes is the
back. Again, the size of the box is a constraint, so the companies must consider the age
of their audience in order to effectively use the space that they have. Both the back of
the Froot Loops box and the back of the Frosted Flakes box contain some sort of game
a maze, a crossword puzzle, a wordsearch for the buyer to complete if they
purchase the cereal. In some cases, FREE INSIDE! (Kelloggs Frosted Flakes) adorns
the back of the box in large letters, along with a brief description of the prize that the box
contains. The promise of a game or a free toy is enough to make any child want to buy
the cereal, but an adult wouldnt take that into consideration if they were shopping for

Zack De Piero 4/25/2016 2:11 AM

Comment [8]: <~~~ Yes. Your whole
argument is predicated on this idea, so
don't lose sight of it.

Tritt 3
themselves. Therefore, this is only a useful rhetorical approach if the purpose of the box
is to sell the cereal to younger customers.
Children, who are not yet emotionally mature, are also heavily swayed by
emotional appeals. For example, the main focus of the Frosted Flakes box is Tony the
Tiger, the cartoon mascot of Frosted Flakes. Kids love cartoons, so the illustration is
likely to immediately catch their attention. As is typical of cereal mascots, hes holding a
bowl of the product. This is a common technique used by advertisers in order to show
customers what the cereal actually looks like. In addition, Tony looks extremely happy
holding his bowl of Frosted Flakes, and the companys slogan Theyre grr-r-reat!
(Kelloggs Frosted Flakes) is in bright orange text underneath him. This appeals to the
pathos of the buyer; Tonys happy exclamation leads the shopper to believe that they will
also experience happiness if they consume that product. This is a smart approach
because pathos can [be] a very effective appeal if the rhetor has to persuade the
audience in a very short about of time (Carroll 53), and since no one spends more than

Zack De Piero 4/25/2016 2:12 AM

Comment [9]: You mean... I won't also
be ecstatic if I eat Frosted Flakes????
Say it ain't so, Tritt!

a few minutes contemplating what cereal to buy, this is certainly the case.
Appealing to the emotions of a child is likely to be more successful than
attempting to use logic. Kids arent interested in data, statistics, and numbers. In fact,
any reference to nutritional information is shoved into a tiny box in the front corner under
the title Nutrition at a glance! and is kept very simple: Great source of fiber! and
Made with whole wheat! (Kelloggs Frosted Flakes). These appear in very small
lettering and are most likely present to persuade the parents to purchase the cereal for
the child rather than to catch the childs attention. Kids dont care about fiber content, but
parents want to make sure that their children are eating a nutritious breakfast. The
regular nutrition facts serving size, number of calories, amount of sugar, ingredients
are found in a chart on the side of the box, as is common with other cereals. Anything

Zack De Piero 4/25/2016 2:17 AM

Comment [10]: You've got excellent flow
going here, Tritt. These sentences build
onto/off each other. The ideas you put
forth in 1 sentence directly relate to the
ones in the next sentence -- that's what it's
all about.

Tritt 4
else that wont catch the attention of a child is printed in small, white type: the net weight
of the cereal, any disclaimers, and the expiration date. Theres no sense in wasting box
space on information that doesnt spark the interest of the buyer.
The Special K cereal box is similar in some aspects. It still has elements of visual
appeal in order to attract the customers eye; the product name is in large, red font in
order to make it stand out on the shelf. Also, the nutrition facts are listed in a chart on the
side of the box and the boring, dull information (net weight, disclaimers, expiration date,
etc.) are listed in very small print. These are common features of all cereal boxes,
regardless of audience. However, because it is primarily advertised toward adults, the
design of the box places more of an emphasis on appealing to the logos and ethos of
the buyer. Cereal companies know that the key to hooking an adult audience isnt visual
appeal alone; its the nutritional value of the cereal. Suddenly the Great source of fiber!
(Kelloggs Froot Loops) that was crammed in the corner of the Froot Loops box is now
front and center on the Special K box. In addition, Special K makes a promise: Drop a
jean size in two weeks! (Kelloggs Special K). Kelloggs is aware that many adults are

Zack De Piero 4/25/2016 2:18 AM

Comment [11]: But isn't this true of the
adult brands too? Doesn't the "nutrition
label" (or whatever the hell it's called) have
a standardized place/space on cereal
boxes?
Zack De Piero 4/25/2016 2:20 AM
Comment [12]: I wanted to mention this
earlier: I'm not sure if it was clear from the
get-go that Special K was a healthy, adultoriented cereal. Is there any way you
could provide a quick snippet of
background info on it (way earlier on -- I'm
taking about the intro or 2nd para)?
Zack De Piero 4/25/2016 2:23 AM
Comment [13]: Worth stating which
aspects? Think of reading someone's
paper like driving behind someone else
and following them -- it helps to know
where you're going from the start, that way
in case you lose them for a minute, you
can catch right back up. What I'm saying
is: it helps, as a reader, to know where
your writer is taking you.
Zack De Piero 4/25/2016 2:20 AM
Comment [14]: "Visual rhetoric" is one
of our course terms -- albeit one of the
more minor ones. Is there any reason
you're not using this to drive your
analysis?

looking to lose weight, and they plaster nutritional facts all over their box in response.
Made with real fruit! Lose up to 6 pounds in 2 weeks! Protein satisfies hunger
longer! (Kelloggs Special K) all adorn the front of the box, along with fiber content,
sugar content, and number of calories. The company has managed to communicate
their data and statistics which appeal to the logos of the customer in a way that
doesnt appear dry and robotic. The friendly and encouraging tone of these short
exclamations appeals to the ethos of the buyer. It makes the company seem more
personal and relatable. After all, few [adults] are persuaded only with [their] mind
Even if [they] intellectually agree with something, it is difficult to get [them] to act unless
[they] are also persuaded in [their] heart (Carroll 53).

Zack De Piero 4/25/2016 2:24 AM

Comment [15]: Great textual evidence
and follow-up analysis.

Tritt 5
With this thought in mind, the back of the box displays a picture of a real woman;
shes smiling and looking confident in her clothes. This has a similar effect as Tony the
Tiger; it shows that happiness and satisfaction are a result of consuming their cereal.
This is an appeal to the customers emotions; a buyer wants to experience the same
delight and confidence as the person on the box. In addition, Special K often includes a
story on the back of the box about how the man or woman lost weight and now their
jeans feel better than ever! (Kelloggs Special K). This use of an anecdote further
appeals to the pathos of the buyer by showing them that an average consumer was
positively affected by purchasing that cereal. Kelloggs hopes that the story will inspire
the buyer; theyll be persuaded to purchase the product because they want to lose
weight as well. However, this would be an ineffective approach if their primary goal was
to advertise toward children; while many adults pay attention to weight and nutrition,
most children arent concerned with their body type and will not be interested in a story
about weight loss.
The similarities between cereal boxes designed for children and cereal boxes
designed for adults show that there are specific features that appeal to people of
different ages. Advertisers exploit these conventions and use them to persuade buyers
into purchasing their product. Since this process has been duplicated with many different
brands of cereals, it is clear that box design plays a significant role in convincing a
customer to buy a product. Overall, this method is effective; adults and children are
drawn to different things, so companies use specific rhetorical appeals in order to catch
the attention of a certain age range of shoppers.

Zack De Piero 4/25/2016 2:24 AM

Comment [16]: This may be a personal
pet peeve of mine, but Id like to advise
you to steer clear of things in academic
writing (maybe even all writing!). Its
suuuuuuper vague. Academic writing
requires precision and specificitybe
direct and tell me exactly what youre
talking about. Pick the 1 word that really
captures the idea(s) that you want to get
across.

Tritt 6

Works Cited
Carroll, Laura Bolin. "Backpacks vs. Briefcases: Steps toward Rhetorical Analysis."
Writing Spaces: Readings on Writing. Vol. 1. Parlor Press, 2010. 45-58. Print.
Dirk, Kerry. "Navigating Genres." Writing Spaces: Readings on Writing. Vol. 1. Parlor
Press, 2010. 249-62. Print.
Kelloggs Frosted Flakes. Kellogg Company. Battle Creek, MI. 2016. Print Cereal Box.
Kelloggs Fruit Loops. Kellogg Company. Battle Creek, MI. 2016. Print Cereal Box.
Kelloggs Special K. Kellogg Company. Battle Creek, MI. 2016. Print Cereal Box.

Writing 2 Feedback Matrix for WP1

Table of Textual Features
Did Not Meet

Met Expectations

Expectations
Thesis Statement

Exceeded
Expectations

X-

Use of Textual Evidence

from Genres
Use of Course Readings

X+

Analysis

X+

Organization/Structure

X+

Tritt 7
Attention to

Genre/Conventions and
Rhetorical Factors
Sentence-level Clarity,

Mechanics, Flow
Tritt,
Other Comments
I want to be clear here: I dont, at all, like giving As for WP1s
because it has the potential to signal to students -- hey, youre
good to go! Youve got this writing stuff all figured out, and
you dont have any more work to do. Congrats, you made it.

And this is only one step in the process -- if you submit this
same paper for the portfolio, you wont earn the same grade
because youll know more about writing (and evidence,
analysis, conventions, etc, etc) so you should be able to DO
MORE with your written work. Plus, youve got feedback from
me which can help guide your paper in more productive
places.

That said, you absolutely nailed this paper. Helluva job, sister.

Z
10/10 (Out of 125 Writing 2 students that Ive had, I dont

Tritt 8
think thats ever happened for a WP1.)