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JusticeDumlao
Writing2
April18,2016
AGlimpseintotheMindofPoliticians
It is about that time of year again! No not the holiday season, but rather a time that is
probably equally as crazy and exciting: election season. Election season is always a very fast
paced and exhilarating time because every candidate for every position is campaigningasmuch
as theypossiblycanforyourvotes,whichmeansthatthereisalotofcampaignmaterialscoming
at you from nearly every direction. One of the ways that these candidates get their faces and
platforms out there are the candidate statements. These candidate statements exigence is to
educate audiences and get the readers to vote for the author/subject. In order for that to happen
they must reach their audiences effectively through the implementation of specific conventions
and rhetoric features thataimtocreatemorepersonablebonds by appealingtothereadersethos,
logos, and pathos. To analyze these conventions in action and how they can be used to educate
readers about political happenings and persuade people to vote we will look at three different
statementsfromthreedifferentpositionsrunningforelectionhereatUCSB.
Before we start to analyze the different statements we should garner an idea of whatthe
average candidate statement looks like so that wecancompareandcontrastthem.Inacandidate
statement there is usually a generalized greeting that will address the audience in a way that
somehow establishes a relationshipfor example Fellow students, Fellow Gauchos, Hi
Friends!, and many more (Elections). Next they will introduce themselves, what they are
running for and some extra information about themselves and why that relates to what they are
running for. This portion of the statement is where candidates can get personal and relate to
audience hopefully appealing to their pathosor emotional appeal, appeals to an audience's

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needs, values, and emotional sensibilities (Weida)
. Soon after that will come a list of past
accomplishments whichservesas acredibility/qualificationlist.Thissectionisusuallyformatted
in a way that is very simple and allows the reader to look at it quickly and gather all the
informationwithouthavingtodigforit,thismightmean
bulletpoints,
1. numberedinformation,
orjustmultipleseparatedparagraphsthatmakeitveryobviousthatthereisaseparategroupof
informationthatisimportanttoread(Elections).Thatinformationisaimedtoappealtothe
readersethosortheethicalappealisbasedonthecharacter,credibility,orreliabilityofthe
writer(Weida).makingthecandidateseemmorereliableandqualifiedfortheirposition.This
isthenfollowedbythesametypeofformatting,butthistimeitiscomprisedofthecandidates
futuregoalsand/ortheirspecificplatform.Thisisquiteselfexplanatoryasthisiswhatreaders
wanttoknowastheseare(hopefully)thetypesofthingsthatthiscandidatewillbedoingin
officeoncetheygetelected.Thesetypesofgoalscansimultaneouslyappealtothereaders
pathos(becauseissuesareoftenverypersonalandemotionaltopeople)andlogos
orthe
appealtoreasonreliesonlogicorreason(Weida).
Lastlytheywillendwithaphrasethatleaves
thereaderfeelingempoweredinonewayoranother,somethingthatrelatestotheirparty,and/or
aremindertovoteforthemintheelections.Nowthatwehaveabaselineforwhatacandidate
statementlookslikewecanbetteranalyzethestatements.
FirstwewilllookatMarjanKrisAbuboscandidatestatementforthepositionofLetters
andScienceSenatortoseehowefficientlyheemploysrhetoricalfeaturesandconventions.
MarjanstartsusoffwithanicePeace,somethingthatisdefinitelylesscommonforagreeting
butdefinitelystilleffectivebecauseofthepositiveconnotationthatpeacehas.Intheworldof
politicspeaceissomethingpeopleusuallyenjoyhearing,sostartingoffwithitprimesthe

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readertothinkmorepositively.Thenhegetsrightintoitandtellsushisnameinallcaps
becausethatiswhatyouwantyourreadertoremembersothattheycanvoteforyou.
However,healsoincludesapopculturereferenceaboutfindingFrankOcean(ahugecrisisthat
plaguesthemodernworldhasbeen)whichishumorousandallowsthereadertoseeMarjannot
onlyasapolitician,butalsoarelatablecollegethusappealingtothereaderspathos.
Asstatedearlierhelistshispastaccomplishmentsinaformatthatisfairlyeasytoread
byoffsettingitfromthetextandusingdashestoindicateeachdifferentitemhehasdone.While
doingsohealsocapitalizesspecificwordsthatembellishhispastaccomplishmentsandhighlight
whathecaresaboutmost.Thisisanotherwayforhimtoappealtothereadersethos.Someof
thethingshementionsinhisplatformareprovidingmorementalhealthresources,creatingan
OfficeofSustainabilityandEnvironment,andpushingforfree/opensourcetextbooks.Thispart
aimsnotonlytotellthereaderwhathewill(hopefully)beworkingoninthefuture,butalsoto
informthereaderonthethingsthatmightbeproblemsatouruniversity.Theseelementswere
easytofindbecauseofhisspecialaforementionedformatting.Finallyhebringsitallhomewith
aremindertovoteforhimandheincludessomemorecolloquiallanguagewiththeuseofYO
toonceagainaddsomehumortohisstatementandcreateamorepersonalrelationshipwiththe
reader.
Now we will analyze Stevan Abdalmaliks External Vice President of Statewide affairs
(EVPSA) candidate statement looking for the same types of things we did inMarjans.Hisfirst
paragraph does a great job of empowering the reader to feel passionateaboutwhathealsofinds
passionate,hedoesnothoweverincludehisname.Thisisahugeflawbecausewhilehismessage
isverystrongandrelatablethereaderdoesnotyethaveanameto associatewiththismessage.In
his past accomplishments he includes things that relate to his (hopeful) position asEVPSAthus
to create a history of accomplishment and reliability, before listing the things he wants to

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accomplish in the future. He talks about lobbying politicans in various places and coauthoring
the bill in which our current elections system is now in. Only after appealing totheethosofthe
reader does he say that he is the only qualified candidate, here he shows his confidence and is
attempting to create a divide between him and the other candidates because it is important to
standoutasacandidateinanelection.
Next we see the use of easytoread format, again, that shows the reader what is
important. This time we see the use of numbered points, this could be evident of a ranking
system in which Stevan prioritizes what he aims to accomplish as EVPSA. It can also be
reminiscentofatodolistconveyingtheideathathewillgetthingsdone.FinallyStevanendsoff
with a call to action, with the action being to vote for Stevan for EVPSA, which he uses a
hashtag to convey #IBelieveInStevan. This serves two purposes: One, it breaks down the
formality between voter and candidate and Two, because he knows that his audience his
extremely likely to use a socialmediawhichincludeshashtagsitisagreatway toget yourname
outthereandhavepeoplecampaignforyou.
Now we have got the head honcho, the (maybe) soontobe president herself: Alejandra
Melgoza and her candidate statement. In stating the position she is running for she says I am
ready, like Stevan she also employs this sense of confidence in her ability to take on this
position. However, unlike the first two examples Alejandra tells us herpastaccomplishmentsin
short paragraph form giving us more details about what she did in those positions, As an
OffCampus Senator, Ive committed myself to making improvements in Isla Vista Ive
helped bridge police relations, addressed tenant rights and housing issues, andengagedstudents
on discussions about Isla Vista selfgovernance. These little paragraphs help show more in
depth of what shehasdone.Shethenhasaparagraphdedicatedtoshowinghowshecanrelateto
students thus appealing to the pathos of the readers, Ive struggled to pay rent and findaplace

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to live, had to choose between meals and textbooks As student who has STRUGGLED
through the system time andtimeagain,Iveremainedafloatinordertofightonyourbehalfand
ensure YOU have access to the resourcesYOUneed.Shesaysthisbecauseitrelatesdirectlyto
what is coming next: what she wants to accomplish as president. To wrap itallupsheleavesus
with a simple reminder to Vote Alejandra for President, the simplicity of this is incontrastto
howpassionateherstatementwasinawaymakesitstandoutbecauseofthatreason.
Byanalyzingthesestatementswecanseethatthereareclearlysimilaritiesthatareheld
betweeneachandeverystatement,suchastheuseofagenerallypositiveandwelcoming
greeting,statingtheirnameandpositionrunningfor,someformoflistingpastaccomplishments,
someformofgoalsforthefuture,thusindicatingthatcandidatestatementsaretheirowngenres.
Furthermorewecanseethatthesestatementsshouldemploycertaintechniquesinordertobethe
mosteffectivefortheiraudience,likehowMarjanusedaninterestinganduniquegreeting,how
Stevanwasabletocreateanincrediblysenseofcredibilitythatwasuniquetohim,andhow
Alejandrawasabletoappealtothereader'spathosinnearlyeverysection.Thisfurthershowsus
thatgenresdoindeedhaveaskeletonthatgivesusabasicstructure,buttherealmeatand
substanceofagenrecancomefromtheauthorthemselvesandhowtheychoosetousethat
skeleton.

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WorksCited
"ElectionsSupplement."
ASElections
.UniversityofCaliforniaSantaBarbara,n.d.Web.19Apr.
2016.
Weida,Stacey,andKarlStolley."WelcometothePurdueOWL."
PurdueOWL:Establishing
Arguments
.PurdueUniversity,11Mar.2013.Web.18Apr.2016.

Writing2FeedbackMatrixforWP1
TableofTextualFeatures

DidNotMeet
Expectations

Met
Expectations

Exceeded
Expectations

ThesisStatement

Attentionto
Genre/Conventions
andRhetorical
Factors

Sentencelevel
Clarity,Mechanics,
Flow

UseofTextual
Evidencefrom
Genres
UseofCourse
Readings
Analysis
Organization/Structu
re

OtherComments

Justice,

Youpickedavery
outsidetheboxandlocal/here
atUCSBgenregreatjobon
thatfront.

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Ithinkthe#1biggestissueof
yourpaperis:whatisyour
argument?Youpointedouta
lotof(sometimesrandom)stuff
OK,howdoesitallfit
together?Whatdoesitallpoint
to?Whatcanyou
say/claim/arguewhenyoulook
atalloftheseindividualpieces?
Whatdoesitalladdupto?

Onceyouhavethescopeof
yourargumentinplace,thenthe
restofyourpapercanbeginto
fallinplace.Also,please
rememberthattextualevidence
(fromyoursources)iscrucial
researchbasedargumentsare
wonwithdata/evidence.Also,
Idliketoseeyoumakemore
useofmultiplecoursereadings
aswaystoexploretheideasin
yourpaper.

Z
6.5/10