JusticeDumlao

WP2
11May2016
Muslims:MurderersorMartyrs?:AnAnalysisofrhetoricalMoves
BanningallMuslimsfromtheUnitedStatessoundslikeagreatidea!No?Sadlythisidea
isaveryseriousproposalfromDonaldTrump,thehopefulrepublicanpresidentialnominee.
Islamophobiahasplaguedthisnationsincethedawnofitsexistence,buttheextentofits
presencehasonlybecomemorevisiblesincethe9/11attacksin2001.Sincethenthelivesof
MuslimAmericanpeoplehavebeenanythingbuteasy.Peopletendtohavesomeverystrong
misconceptionsaboutthefaithknownasIslam.In
MuslimsinAmerica
byJennanGhazalRead
shetalksaboutdeconstructingthesetoxicidealsandstereotypesthroughthemeansof
recognizingthemanddiscoveringthetruthaboutthesediversepeoples.Inanarticleentitled
UnderstandingIslam,Islamism,andIslamicFeminism(UIIIF)
byMargotBadranfromthe
WomensHistoryJournal
shediscussestheadverseeffectsofmisunderstandingsofIslamand
IslamismandhowthoseimpactwomenintheMuslimcommunity.VICEhasalsotakenupsome
discourseaboutMuslimissues,theyjustrecentlypublishedanarticlegivingsomeinsightinto
thelifeofanArabMuslimAmericanthroughtheuseofanecdotalevidence.Eachofthese
articlesrepresentadifferentgenrewhicharemadeupofparticularrhetoricalconventionsand
movescertainthingsthattheauthorsdointheirworkinordertoelicitaspecificreactionfrom
thereader,bytakingacloserlookatthesimilaritiesanddifferencesofconventionsandrhetoric
featuresbetweeneachwewillbeabletobetterunderstandthepurposesofthesearticlesandhow
effectivethesewritingstylesarefortheirintendedaudiences:forthescholarlyarticlesthe

audienceismoreacademicwhereastheaudiencefortheVICEarticleismorecolloquialand
informal.
Firstwewilllookattherhetoricalconventionsofboth
MuslimsinAmerica
and
UIIIF.
Authorof
BackpacksandBriefcases
LauraCarrollproposesasystemofrhetoricalanalysisin
whichwestartwithcontextcomprisedofexaminingexigence,audience,andconstraints.The
articlessharethesameexigencetheproblem/issuethearticleisrespondingtowhichisthat
Muslimpeoplehavecertainobstaclestheymustfaceasadirectresultofislamophobia.The
exigenceisimportantbecauseitgivesthearticlesaclearpurpose,whichinthiscaseisto
deconstructtheobstaclesthatMuslimpeoplefacethrougheducatingpeopleonthe
misinformationsofmodernsociety.Nextwelookattheaudiences.
For
MuslimsinAmerica
wehavetoconsiderwhereitwaspublishedtoseewhothe
intendedaudienceis,inthiscaseitis
Contexts
(asociologypublishingcompany),sowecan
assumethattheaudienceisforpeopleofhigheracademicstandingmostlikelyinthefieldof
sociology.For
UIIIF
itisaverysimilaraudience,thisarticlewasalsopublishedinanacademic
journal,butinthiscasethejournalisspecificallyforWomensHistory.Wecanpostulatethat
theintendedaudienceisalsopeopleofhigheracademicstandingbutinthefieldofWomens
History.Audiencesareimportanttorecognizebecauseauthorsusedifferentlanguageaccording
totheiraudiences,forexamplebotharticlesuseveryscholasticwordslikesocioeconomic,
multiculturalist,patriarchal,andmanymore.Thesetypesofwordsportrayamoreacademic
settingandgiveamoreserioustone,thusmakingthearticlemorefittingandgearedtowards
academicaudiences.

Lastlythereareconstraints,inbothcasestheconstraintsinclude,butarenotlimitedto:
professionallanguage,academiccitations,strictformatting,andaworkscited.Ifthearticle
cannotexistinthegenrewithoutitthenitshouldbeconsideredaconstraint.Youmayhave
noticedthatthesetwoscholarlyarticleshavesomefeatureswhichareverysimilar(their
constraintsandaudiences).Thisislargelyduetothefactthattheybelongtosimilargenresandif
thegenrestheybelongtoaresimilarthenitmakessensethatthewayinwhichtheyare
constructedaregoingtobesimilaraswell.Theserhetoricalconventionsarenottheonly
elementsthatmakethesearticlesfitwithintheirgenres,therearealsospecificmovesthatare
employedtohelpconveythemessagesoftheauthors.
In
MuslimsinAmerica
authorJennanReadusesmovesbothtobreakconventionsandto
reinforcethem.Itiseasiesttostartoffbyidentifyingthemorecommonmovestheintentional
andspecificdecisionsthataremadetoillicitaresponsefromthereader.DivideandConquer
iswhensectionsubtitlesareusedtohelpthereadermoreeasilydiscernnewtopics.Forexample
shehasonesectioncalledsomebasicdemographicswhereshe,surprise,talksaboutbasic
demographics.BecauseofthenatureofthisarticlethereislotsofIntroducingStandard
Views(Graff)forexample,Americansgenerally,MuslimAmericansalsotend,and
thingsofthatnature.Thismoveisverysimpleitjustdoeswhatitisnamedafter,introducesa
standardthought.VisualizeitthisiswhenReaddelineatesthedatathathasbeencollected
whatshortlyfollowsisagraphofthedata,thissimplyhelpstoshowthereaderthedataina
moreconsumableway.WhatfollowsthedataisalsoamovewhichIcalltheFYIiswhenshe
usesparenthesesoranyotherformofpunctuatipnreallytogivethatlittletouchoffurther
explanationlikeinthisexample,theyheldmainstreamAmericanvalues(thinkItalian,Irish,

andPolishimmigrants)(Read),theselittlepiecesofinformationreallydohelpthereadertonot
onlyunderstandinformationbetter.TheNOTICEMEmovehappenswhentheauthorputsa
quotefromherownwritinginthepaperbutmakesthefontsizemuchbiggerandchangesthe
colorofthetextalso,thiseffectivelyshowsthereadersomeinformationthatisimportanttothe
piecewhilealsoactingasanattentiongrabbertopullthereaderinandmakethemreadmore.
Last,butcertainlynotleastistheCoveringtheBases,thismovedescribeswhenReaduses
hedgedlanguage.Usingthistypeoflanguageisimportantbecauseitshowstheaudiencethatthe
authoracknowledgesthattheywontbeabletoknoweverything,butthisiswhattheydoknow
fromthefindings.Readspieceisnottheonlyonetohavemoves.
JustlikeRead,Badranalsohassomemovesoftheirown.Onemovesheusesthatisone
ofmypersonalfavoritesistheQuestionMasterinthismovesheaskstheaudiencerhetorical
questionsinordertotryandengagethemmoreinthereadingandspurthereadertothinkmore
ontheirownbeforereadingmoreofthematerial.Sheusesthatmovehereverywell,Shouldwe
usethetermfundamentalismorIslamismwhenreferringtopoliticalIslam?(Badran).
BecausethisisaverycomplextopicshealsousesamoveIliketocallExplainitwhenthereis
termthatsomeonemightnotknowoffthetopoftheirheadshegivesashortexplanation
following.Forexample,protagonistscallprogressiveIslamisminSouthAfrica(amovement
ofpoliticalIslamthatemergedoutofapartheidandIslamicreformiststruggles)(Badran).This
makesitsothatthereadercanunderstandthepiecemoreeasilyanddoesnothavetostop
readingandlookupawordjusttounderstandwhatisgoingon.
Badranalsousessomemovesfrom
TheySayISay,
likeEmbeddingVoiceMarkersin
thismovetheauthorjustuseslanguagethatsignifiestheirvoice,likeinthisexcerpt,Iagree

withherthatunderthenameofmulticulturalismoranyotherrubricweshouldnotacceptthe
unacceptable(Badran).Theselittleblurbsofthewritersvoicehelpustoseewhattheauthoris
thinkinganditalsohelpstomakethewritingallthemorerelatable.Oneimportantmovethatshe
makesistheSignalingWhoisSayingWhat(Graff),thisiskindoflikeapreliminaryfirststep
movebecausewhenshedoesthissheissettingupthescenebytellinguswhosaidwhatever
informationsheisabouttotelleveryone,thenfromthereshecanturnthatmoveintoanother
movebyeitheragreeing,disagreeing,orboth.Thisisimportanttodobecauseasitispartofher
goaltoaddresstheideasofothersandinformusofthetruthbehindMuslimpeoplesand
demystifythemisconceptions.Whilethesetwoscholarlyarticlesbothusedifferentmovesand
conventionstoeffectivelyeducatetheirreaderstheconstraintsonthepiecescannotdowhata
popculturearticlecan.
InSarahHarvardsarticleinVICEaboutthestoryofonemansexperiencesbothpreand
post9/11wecanseethatthereareverydistinctdifferencesinboththeconventionsandmovesof
thisarticleascomparedtothatofthescholarlyones.Theexigenceofthispieceissimilartothat
oftheothersasitisalsoaboutMuslimidentitiesandyoucantreallytalkaboutMuslimidentity
withouthavingtoalsotalkabouttheobstaclestheyface.Theaudiencehereisforeveryonewho
isteenagedandup,wecandiscernthatbecauseitispublishedonthispublicwebsitewhichis
accessibleforaverywiderangeofagesandbecauseofthelanguageituses,likethehookabout
findinggoodfoodascontrastedtothehookof
MuslimsinAmerica
whichwasabunchof
alarmingstatistics.Theuseofamorefriendlyhookbringsinawiderrangeofpeoplebecause,
well,everyonelikesfood.Thenwealsohavetheconstraints,inthisarticletheconstraintsarefar
fewerthanthatofthescholarlyarticle.Forexampleinthisarticletheyquoteamanthey

interviewedsayingcusswords,thisissomethingtheywouldmostlikelyomitfromascholarly
articlebecauseithasnoplacethere,butthereitgivestheaudiencemorerelatablelanguageand
easesthetonehere.TheVICEarticlecanalsousedifferentandsimilarmoves,forexamplea
moveIliketocallPictureThisinwhichtheyembellishthepiecewithpicturesthatrelateto
thearticleinordertogivethereaderachangetovisualizewhattheyaretalkingabout,somewhat
similartotheuseofgraphsinthe
MuslimsofAmerica
piece.TheStorytellerthismoveisused
inthisarticlewhentheauthorusespersonalexperiencetorelatetoandanalyzewhatis
happeninginthemanslife,shesays,ThestoryofDearbornhitsclosetomyheart.Igrewup
nottoofarfromthetown(Harvard).Theabilitytousepersonalnarrativeinthewritinglike
thatshowsverymuchhowmuchmorerelaxedthisgenreiscomparedtothescholarlyarticles.
Genrecanbeaverycomplexandfickleconcept.Whenwelookedatthescholarly
articleswesawthateventhoughtheyarefromtwodifferentdisciplinesthattheystillwerevery
similartoeachotherandwhenwelookedattheVICEarticlewedefinitelysawmoredifferences
inthewayitwaswritten,yetitstillhadsomesimilarelementsofthescholarlyarticlesaswell.
Genres,evidently,canoverlapinmanycasesandstillhavetheirveryownuniquedistinctions,
whichalmostremindsmeofhowpeoplecanbesimilarbutareultimatelyuniqueintheirown
ways.Thesepieceseachdidanamazingjobofaddressingtheaudiencestheywereintendingto
reachbyemployingcertainconventionsandmovestogivethatextrashine.


WorksCited
Badran,Margot."UnderstandingIslam,Islamism,andIslamicFeminism."
JournalofWomen's
History
13.1(2001):4752.
Carroll,LauraBolin."Backpacksvs.Briefcases:StepstowardRhetoricalAnalysis."
Writing
Spaces:ReadingsonWriting,Volume1
.Vol.1.N.p.:Parlor,2010.4558.
Graff,Gerald,CathyBirkenstein,andRusselK.Durst."IndexofTemplates."
"TheySay/ISay":
TheMovesThatMatterinAcademicWriting:WithReadings
.NewYork:W.W.Norton,
2012.68195.
Harvard,Sarah."HowAmerica'sMuslimsHaveHandled15YearsofPost9/11
Islamophobia"
VICE
.VICE,10Mar.2016.11May2016.
Read,Jen'nanGhazal."MuslimsinAmerica."
Contexts
7.4(2008):3943.

Writing2FeedbackMatrixforWP2

TableofTextualFeaturesandQualities

Did Not Meet

Expectations

Thesis Statement
Use of Textual Evidence from
Genres
Use of Course Readings

Met
Expectations

Exceeded
Expectations

X+

Analysis

Organization/Structure
Attention to Genre/Conventions and
Rhetorical Factors

X
Atthestart

Exploration of Disciplinarity

Sentence-level Clarity, Mechanics,

Flow

Attention to Moves

X
Attheend

Comments and Grade

Justice,

Solid work here, and youre well on your way to submitting a badass WP2 for your portfolio. I hope
my comments can guide you in a productive direction.

My overall piece of advice is: find a more cohesive argument and tie the pieces more tightly together.
Think long and hard about how all of this adds up and, most importantly, why it matters. Its gotta
all be relevant though: dont just lay down any/every sort of information you can -- pick your points.

Id also like you to give your organization and paragraph-by-paragraph structure a bit more thought.
What are some ways, plural, that you could construct your paper/argument? Then, once youve got

options (plural again!), choose which one you think makes the most sense for you AND for the
reader.

Also, I counted 7 paragraph for a 6-page paper. Part of this is, for sure, my own subject preferences,
but yikes!!! Youre such a cool and smart and friendly dude -- I swear, paragraphs arent that bad.
Please make friends with them
.
Z
7.5/10 - 0.5 for being late = 7/10