The Bro Code

In order to carry the status of "bro" you must obey all of the Bro Code.
1: Bros before hoes A hoe is defined as any woman that is not your wife
or any other direct family.
2: A bro is always allowed to do something stupid as long as his bros are
doing it.
3: If a bro gets a dog, it must be at least as tall as his knee when fully
grown.
4: Whether a Bro is into sports or not, a Bro picks a team and supports
them until his dying breath.
5: A bro shall not gaze at a naked bro, if for ANY reason a bro gets naked,
all other bros will act as if nothing is out of the ordinary, averting their eyes
away. If the towel drops, so do your eyes.
6: A bro never sends a birthday card to another bro.
7: A bro is honor bound to aid his bros in moving house, DIY, and any
other physical labour. A cold, fresh pint is always reward enough for
helping.
8: Bros do not share dessert.

9: A bro never dances with his hands above his head.

10: If a bro leads a beer/food run, he is entitled to any and all left over
change.
11: A bro will not sleep with another bros sister. However, a bro is allowed
to be vocal about her level of attractiveness.
12: A Bro shall not wear his cell phone on a belt clip.
13: A Bro doesnt allow another Bro to get married until hes at least thirty.
14: When using urinals, a Bro stares straight ahead AT ALL TIMES.
15: Bros cannot make eye-contact during a Devils Three-way.
16: A Bro never rents a chick flick.
17: Even in a fight to the death a Bro never punches another Bro in the
groin.
18: A Bro never cries. With the exception of being physically threatened by
Chuck Norris.
19: When greeting another Bro, never engage in a full embrace.
20: A Bro never applies sunscreen to another Bro.
21: A Bro never wears pink.
22: A Bro never publicly reveals how many women hes slept with, And
never reveals how many women another Bro has slept with.
23: If a Bro accidentally strikes another Bros crotch while walking, both
silently agree to act as if nothing happened.
24: A Bro is not required to remember another Bros birthday.
25: A Bro is required to go out with his Bros on all Bro holidays, such as
St. Paddys Day.
26: A Bro never borrows or lends clothes to another Bro.
27: A Bro doesnt grow a moustache.
28: In the event that two Bros clock/lock on to the same woman, the Bro
who has been without woman the longest is given first shot, a shot that
must be taken within 24 hours, before being passed on.

29: A Bro will make any and all efforts to provide his Bro with a condom
when he scores.
30: A Bro must always reciprocate a round of drinks among Bros.
31: Should a Bro pick up a guitar at a party and commence playing,
another Bro shall point out that he is a Douche.
32: A Bro ALWAYS enhances another Bros job description when
introducing him.
33: A Bro leaves the toilet seat up for his Bros.
34: If two Bros get into a heated argument over something and one says
something out of line, the other shall not expect him to take it back or
apologize, thats what women do.
35: If a Bro buys a new car, he is required to pop the hood when showing it
off to his Bros.
36: A Bro never questions another Bros stated golf score, maximum bench
press, or height. He can however, ask the Bro to prove it.
37: If a Bro, for whatever reason must drive another Bros car, he shall not
adjust the preprogrammed radio stations.
38: A Bro shows up at another Bros party with at least one more unit of
alcohol than he plans to drink.
39: Bros dont speak French to each other.
40: If a Bro is in the toilet and runs out of toilet paper, another Bro may
toss him a new roll, but at no point may their hands touch or the door open
more than 30 degrees.
41: Bros shall go camping once a year, or at least start a fire.
42: If a Bro asks another Bro to keep a secret, he shall take that secret to
his grave.
43: A Bro never wears socks with sandals.
44: The mum of a Bro is always off-limits.
45: If a Bro is not invited to another Bros wedding, he doesnt make a big
deal out of it.
46: If a Bro discovers another Bro has forgotten to sign out of his
Facebook/Twitter the Bro will sign out for him, but only after many many

humiliating updates.
47: A Bro doesnt sing along to music in a bar.
48: Clothing optional doesnt really mean clothing optional to Bros.
49: A Bro shall not damage another Bros chances to score with a chick.
50: A Bro never willingly relinquishes possession of a remote control.
51: When a Bro is with his Bros, he is not a vegetarian.
52: If a Bro should fail at anything during sporting activities or games, he
is required to make an excuse for himself, it is always the ball, bat, racket,
shoes, glove, controller or equipments fault.
53: If a Bro is driving ahead of another Bro, he is required to attempt to
lose him in traffic as a joke.
54: Every Bro knows a Bro who is the worlds best at something.
55: If a Bro lends another Bro a DVD, video game, or piece of lawn
machinery, he shall not expect to ever get it back.
56: If a Bro learns another Bro has been in a traffic accident, he must first
ask what condition the car is in, before asking if his Bro is okay.
57: When hosting, a Bro orders enough pizza for all his Bros.
58: A Bro shall seek no revenge if he passes out around his Bros and wakes
up to find his face covered in drawings and shaving foam.
59: When executing a high five a Bro is forbidden from intertwining
fingers.
60: A Bro is never offended if another Bro fails to return a phone call, text
or email in a timely fashion.
61: A Bro doesnt listen to chick musicin front of other Bros.
62: A Bro pretends to understand and enjoy cigars.
63: No sex with you Bros ex. It is never ever permissible for a Bro to sleep
with his Bros ex.
64: When a Bro is in doubt, he shall consider the actions of Chuck Norris
before making a decision.

65: Bros dont quote Oscar Wilde

66: A Bro Always Admits When He Farted
67: A Bro Never Uses A Urinal Thats Right Next To The Other Bro
68: A bro will always verify another bros story when he is trying to score,
even if the story is at your expense or an out right lie.
69: All bros are distracted by the number 69 and its sexual meaning,
rendering all bros unable to read anything immediately after this number.
70: If your team beats your Bros team, you have 24 hours to rub it in. With
the exception of cup finals, dont kick a man while he is down.
71: A bro always takes a piss standing up.
72: A bro never catches a cold. Only women catch colds, bros are struck
down with Man Flu.
73: If a bro finds his bros girlfriend repulsive, he shall not say anything
until they have broken up.
74: A bro never gives another bro the silent treatment
75: If a married bro is out with a single Bro/s, it is implicit that said
married bro be the brunt of any jokes and is expected to jump on any
grenades that may aid or prevent the single bro from scoring.
76: A bro always has his bros back
77: A girl can be a bro if and only if:
1) She is the only girl present with the bros.
2) She is not related to any of the bros.
3) She is not dating/married to any of the bros.
4) Has been accepted by all other bros unanimously.
5) Agrees with and abides by ALL bro codes.
78: Bros DO NOT make eye contact while at urinals, and DO NOT take a
peek at their bros little bro.
79: A Bro DOES NOT masturbate in front of other bros, or anyone else.
80: When a Bro asks another Bro to look after their drink, a Bro never

tampers with it. Pranks and/or revenge never involve a another Bros drink.
81: A Bro doesnt un-friend his Bro on Facebook.
82: All Bros are required to take turns and share the role as designated
driver unless you get a taxi, in which case all Bros are expected to chip in
an even share of the fare.
83: Bros dont wax their body hair.
84: A Bro is not expected to notice another Bros new haircut
85: A Bro never asks another Bro to come with them to the bathroom.
86: A Bro never wears Crocs
87: Bros DO NOT take Facebook slut style photos of themselves in the
mirror.
88: A Bro never uses another Bros toothbrush.
89: Bros dont use umbrellas.
90: A Bro does not bitch, he asks for help and/or advice before any details
of the issue are spoken. Furthermore, a Bro only speaks about his trivial
problems to highlight the comical and unusual, otherwise he is on his own.
91: A Bro DOES NOT choose his own nickname. A nickname is bestowed
upon you by your fellow bros, either as a punishment or a reward for epic
deeds.
92: Bros take care of their fellow bros when they have too much to drink.
Taking care is defined by:
1) Making sure they doesnt get into fights.
2) Making sure they dont drive.
3) Making sure they get home in one piece, or at the very least get them
into their own garden.
93: A Bro of a Bro is a Bro to you.
94: When a Bro has a kid, his Bros become honourary uncles and must
take this honour seriously, offering the same Bro-like respect for the child,
and hand down valuable life lessons using their fathers moments of
stupidity as the tales of caution.
95: A Bro never keeps a photo of his Bro in his wallet.
96: Bros dont pout for photos.

97: A bro does not allow his bro to drunk dial or text his ex. This is one of
very few situations where a punch to the groin is acceptable, your bro will
thank you for it later.
98: Bros dont share details about their little bro with other bros.
99: Bros dont wear skinny jeans.
100: Once shook upon, a bro ALWAYS honours a bet. No matter what the
agreed proposition is, the losing bro honours the bet.
101: A bro is honour bound to accept all arm wrestling challenges.
102: Bros pay for their dates
103: Bros dont use emoticons in messages to other bros
104: Bros dont stop to smell flowers
105: When in doubt, ask your bros.
106: Bros DO NOT TOUCH other bros drinks without express permission
107: Bros dont wear flat-brimmed hats
108: If a chick fight breaks out, all nearby bros must be alerted
IMMEDIATELY. Furthermore, bros DO NOT break up chick fights unless
blood is drawn.
109: A bro will answer the phone call of another bro at any time of day for
any reason
110: A bro does not cock-block another bro for any reason
111: If a bro asks you to the match/game you are honor bound to say yes
112: Every Bro gets 1 stay away card per year to use on a woman they
have a special interest in. This can only be applied to a single women who
the Bro has known for at least 1 month. Once applied all other Bros are
forbidden to date that woman (The year countdown starts from the moment
of declaration and is non transferable).
113: Single Bros always try and sit with one seat between them in case
any ladies come along that dont have anywhere to sit
114: If a Bro receives naked picture(s) on his cell phone from a hot chick,
his Bros are immediately entitled to view said picture(s), as long as there
are no Bros (or any other beings with a Y chromosome) present in the
image. In the rare event that this occurs, immediately delete it and never

call/text her again.

115: When a Bro has an itch or needs food and is about to beat a world
record, Bros scratch that itch and make him any food he wants.
116: A Bro will ALWAYS watch a movie narrated by Morgan Freeman.
117: A Bro has to scratch when a Bro has to scratch.
118: At a Bros funeral, all other bros toast with the deceaseds drink of
choice
119: When a Bro wants to do something stupid, first you try to talk the Bro
out of it. If they still want to do it, you film it.
120: A bro never shows or tells a crazy chick where his fellow bro lives or
stays, only that bro can subject himself to that grief.
121: A bro must NEVER tamper with another bros suit, and must never
impede on a bros ability to suit up.
122: ALL conversations between bros are subject to bro to bro
confidentiality.
123: A bro cannot give another bro a Teddy bear.
124: Bros shall never under any circumstances go and see chick flicks
alone. Chick flicks are only tolerated when there is a 100% chance of
getting laid.
125: A bro is always psyched. ALWAYS.
126: A bro does not dare/challenge another bro to do anything they
wouldnt try them self. If the dare/challenge is turned down, the challenger
must attempt it before ridicule is permitted.
127: A Bro and a Brother are not the same thing.
128: When a Bro can only take one other bro to something epic (for
example: having 1 spare ticket) The Bro doesnt show favoritism by
choosing a Bro, instead all bros are offered a chance to compete in a
challenge (or series of challenges) in order to earn the privilege.
129: A bro never rearranges the dishes at another bros house.
130: During Paint Balling activities bros do not wipe clean their fellow
bros protective face masks
131: Paint Balling is the ONLY combat scenario in which a bros balls are

not off limits.

132: When a Bro leaves his seat, the seat becomes vacant and cannot be
reclaimed if a fellow Bro takes it. Lift your feet, lose your seat.
133: Bros shall not wear a Fanny Pack/Bum Bag
134: A Bro never leaves a Bro behind.
135: A bro never makes eye-contact with another bro while eating a
banana.
136: Dibs cannot be implied, you must call dibs in front of witnesses for
any said dibs to be valid with bros.
137: When playing or responding to a prank, a Bros car is off limits.
138: When Bros hug, they do not close their eyes and/or rest their head on
the other bros shoulder.
140: Bros ONLY get their hair cut at a barbers, with the exception of
shaving the whole head of hair, which can be done at home.
141: If you catch your bros girl cheating you immediately tell your bro
regardless of any possible shitstorm that may arise.
142: A bro never lets another bro drink and drive. If your drunk bro puts up
a struggle you are permitted to forcefully stop him, in that situation the
usual rules of bro combat apply.
142: A Bro always has a condom in his wallet.
143: All bros like steak
144: A bro never facetimes, skypes or uses any other other kind of visual
communication while taking a dump.
145: A bro never touches another bros muscles, no matter how impressive
146: A Bro never lets his broken hearted Bro drink alone.
147: A Bro Never tickles another Bro.
148: A Bro always offers his Bros a drink when getting one for himself
149: Bros wear their pants, jeans, trousers, shorts etc, above their ass
150: Bros DO NOT discuss the events of a bachelor party/weekend with

non Bros.
151: On a bus, A Bro should not sit next to another bro unless its the only
available seat left.
152: Bros take any opportunity to look down a womans low cut top. With
the exception of a fellow Bros girl, wife or mother.
153: A Bro does not put his hand on another bros waist.
154: Bros do not use a photo of their pet, car or children as their profile
picture.
155: Bros dont have a pet cat. The only excuse for a cat living in a Bros
household is if it belongs to his wife, daughter, female house mate or
girlfriend he lives with.
156: Bros dont set other Bros up on blind dates. If a Bro does want to
introduce a Bro to a girl, they must show the Bro photos and in no way
dress up and over sell it.
157: A bro doesnt get lost, he merely finds an alternate route.
158: Games before dames.
159: Bros never use the term yolo
160: Bros are not allowed to own/carry a hand bag. Calling it a Man Bag
does not stop it being a girls hand bag.
161: If a bro wins a trophy that can be in any way used as a cup, he will
drink alcohol out of it as soon as possible.
162: If a bro finds out a girl he has slept with has a serious boyfriend, if
possible, he will leave a quarter/penny/coin under his shaving foam or
deodorant as an apology and a signal to that bro to get rid ASAP.
163: Bros dont giggle.
164: Bros dont wear turtlenecks
165: If bros share a house/flat/apartment, all bros are obligated to stay out
for the evening if a fellow bro wants to entertain a woman.
166: A bro NEVER under ANY circumstances gets with or even attempts
to get with another bros girl.
167: A bro may only ever stop a fellow bro from hooking up with a girl if,

and only if, he is 100% sure that said girl is in fact a dude.
168: Bros dont touch each others hair.
169: When a bro offers another bro chewing gum, that offer is for two or
more pieces, never one!
170: Bros dont smell each other on purpose.
171: A bro does not sleep on the same bed as another bro.
172: Bros never use the term SWAG to describe anything.
173: Bros only comment on a fellow bros fashion choice if that choice will
affect the bros ability to get laid.
174: Bros do not pinch
175: A bro is NEVER afraid to fail
176: All bros have an interest in some sort of weaponry.
177: If a bro dies while lifting weights, the other bro shall add more weight
to the bar before dialing 911
178: A bro shall never start a sentence with hashtag
179: A bro never crosses one leg over the other. He may rest one foot over
the other, but never a full leg cross.
180: Bros do not share a drink and popcorn at the cinema.
181: If two bros know the same story, the bro who is lesser known among
the party or group shall tell it.
182: A bro must accept any and all manhood testing challenges.
183: A bro shall never engage in any sexual activity with a girl-bro.
184: Bros do not keep a personal diary.

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