Making Out and Hooking Up:

The Science of Kissing

By Samuel A. Cohen
May 28, 2010
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Cover: A photographic remake of Gustav Klimt's "The Kiss"

Figure 1: Lip mashing as seen in Cholula, Mexico

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Introduction

Any human action seen from far enough away looks faintly ridiculous, but you don't

even have to be far away from a kissing couple to see how blatantly absurd kissing is.

Figure 2: For example, these people in Mexico City look somewhat absurd.

There is a Bloom County comic strip in which two characters are making out in a

field, and gradually several animals wander over to watch. By the final scene, there are

about a dozen animals standing around the couple, while a human observer remarks "Lip

mashing is an oddity in the animal kingdom." It's true--the only species besides humans

that kiss are bonobo chimps—and their kisses usually only involve lip-bumping, sans
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tongue contact and saliva exchange (de Waal, 2000). It seems we Homo sapiens are alone in

this pleasurable yet bizarre interaction.

So why? Kissing is apparently irrelevant when it comes to making babies. Granted,

it tends to be included in the process…yet it is technically unnecessary. Humans can have

sex by themselves (in the sense that they can have an orgasm by themselves), but you can't

kiss by yourself; nor does kissing a mirror or a mannequin provide the same emotional

effect. So it seems that the second person plays a crucial role in kissing--but how much of

that person do you need to have the same emotional thrill? Do your feelings change if you

know the person or not? Do you have to see him or her? What if you kiss while

blindfolded, or through a hole in a wall? Would your enjoyment of the kiss change if you

knew the person on the other side of the wall or not? Could you determine your partner's

attractiveness solely by kissing them?

Most importantly, why is it that we don't know the scientific answer to any of those

questions? Kissing is a nearly universal activity, occurring in over 90% of human cultures

(Eibl-Eibesfeldt, 1970, p. 141). In North America, 42% of 6th Grade students have

romantically kissed a partner (O’Donnell et al., 2006), as have 52% of 12-13 year olds

(Boyce, Doherty, Fortin, and MacKinnon, 2003; Williams, Connolly, and Cribbie, 2008), 67%

of 9th Grade students (Boyce et al., 2003), 80% of 11th Grade students (Boyce et al., 2003),

and about 90% of college students (Dunne et al., 1992; Lindsay, Smith, and Rosenthal,

1997; Grunseit, Richters, Crawford, Song, and Kippax, 2004; Hughes, Harrison, and Gallup,

2007; Rye and Meaney, 2007). 75% of college students have kissed 6 or more partners,

52% have kissed at least 11, and a very busy 25% have kissed 21 or more partners (Hughes
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et al., 2007). And yet very few major scientific studies investigating specifically kissing

have been published.

This paper will therefore undertake an attempt to answer a deceivingly simple

question: why kiss?

Three Possible Answers

The research and hypotheses submitted in the study of kissing can generally be

distilled down to three distinct theories: mate assessment, sexual inducement, and

connection enhancement.

Mate Assessment

Since kissing provides unparalleled access to our partner for all five of our senses, it

is a perfect opportunity to do some mate assessment. Any activity that puts individuals in

close proximity to each other will allow for closer examination of a partner's features,

which leads to a more knowledgeable judgment of a potential mate's compatibility and

health. In other words: brush your teeth, dude.

No, but seriously: a clean mouth is important for more than just a good-tasting kiss.

Several scientific studies (e.g., Durham, Malloy, and Hodges, 1993) have proven what we

already instinctively seem to know: bad breath can be a sign of many deeper underlying

medical issues. Additionally, due to suction on facial sebaceous glands and oral mucosae in
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the mouth, the act of kissing leads to the transfer of sebum, a fat which contains a great deal

of hormonal information. This transfer could enlighten the recipient's brain as to hormonal

status and genetic compatibility (Nicholson, 1984).

Digging into the science of kissing reveals some of the body's subtle and fascinating

capabilities. During menstruation, for example, increased estrogen catalyzes the shedding

of body cells all over the body, including those in the mouth. This creates an ideal condition

for oral bacterial growth, which causes bad breath--a clear discouragement from sexual

activity (McCann and Bonci, 2001). Similarly, ovulating females produce distinct yet

odorless salivary molecules, which can be unconsciously detected by a male who kisses

them at that fertile stage (Fullagar, 2003). Salivary information as well as the smell of a

close partner can convey information about that person’s major histocompatibility

complex, a key component in determining genetic compatibility (Wedekind, Seebeck,

Bettins, and Paepke, 1995).

Kissing-as-information-transfer also provides one explanation to why males prefer

wetter, sloppier kisses (Hughes et al., 2007). Since men are generally "less sensitive to

chemosensory cues," they would need more information from which to glean genealogical,

pheromonal, and hormonal data (Hughes et al., 2007, p. 613). The more saliva, the easier

the information assessment.

The concept that females are less likely than males to have sex without kissing first

also supports the mate assessment theory. A "bad kisser," someone who perhaps has bad

breath or physical awkwardness, will not make for a strong mate, and so the selective

female can determine the worthiness of her mate by analyzing his kiss. Indeed, a partner's
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breath and mouth taste is much more important a factor for females than for males

(Hughes et al., 2007).

But the mate assessment theory is not one-way: men do some assessing, too. When

deciding whether or not to kiss someone, females place an emphasis on healthy teeth

appearance and soft lips, but are less concerned than men about other factors such as facial

attractiveness, body attractiveness, body weight, skin complexion, and lip fullness (Hughes

et al., 2007).

Many popular culture “scientific” articles about kissing cite mate assessment as a

possible rationale for lip-mashing. Yet all of this discussion is mere hypothesis, based on

what we know about the brain and about saliva. There has yet to be a study that directly

proves that the brain analyzes a partner’s genetic composition through his or her saliva

during kissing.
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Figure 3: Some intense mate assessment is taking place on the Promenade des Anglais in

Nice, France.

Sexual Inducement

In the great baseball field of physical romantic interaction, kissing means getting to

first base. The phrases "stepping up to bat" and "hitting a triple" and "stealing a base" and

"fouling out" each make metaphorical sense in romance as easily as they make literal sense
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in baseball. The baseball field metaphor feels true because of its progressive nature: first

base leads to second as naturally as kissing leads to petting, following our surprisingly

standardized sexual script (see Rye and Meaney, 2007; deGraaf et al., 2009).

Figure 4: Baseball seems to have been beneficial for Derek Jeter, who clearly understands

both the literal and metaphorical concept of "playing the field."

"Rounding the bases" helps explain one possible motivation for kissing: you have to

get to first base before you can get to home plate (and make babies). Kissing may therefore

be a method of increasing sexual arousal in one's partner with the end goal of gaining

access to intercourse. "Men like sloppier kisses with more open mouth and that suggests to
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me that they are unconsciously trying to transfer testosterone to trigger the sex drive in

women," observes Helen Fisher, a famed anthropologist who specializes in romance

(Oberman, 2009). The testosterone in males' saliva may work to increase sexual desire in

females, as well as increase the likelihood of reaching orgasm during intercourse (Davis,

2001). Indeed, the mucosa membrane found inside the mouth is permeable to several

hormones, including testosterone (Dobs, Matsumoto, Wang, and Kipnes, 2004).

Testosterone which has entered the body through this membrane goes directly to the

body's systemic chemical circulation, skipping past the digestive stages most substances go

through (van Eyk and van der Bijl, 2004). In other words, testosterone transferred from

the male to the female during kissing goes directly to the female's hormonal system, and so

has an immediate erotic effect.

One possible origin of kissing-as-inducer could be our history of mutual grooming

(also called allogrooming or titivating). Irenaus Eibl-Eibesfeldt, known as the founder of

human ethology, suggests that sexual kissing may have arisen out of our ancestral

primates’ social grooming patterns, in which both males and females groomed each other

using their paws and their mouths (Eibl-Eibesfeldt, 1970, p. 144). Eibl-Eibesfeldt found

that primitive natives in many non-developed cultures still lick their faces with their

tongues as a sign of sexual interest. Actually, come to think of it, we do that in our

developed cultures as well…

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Figure 5: Megan Fox imitates her primitive ancestors’ grooming patterns. Titivating never

looked quite so titillating.

So it seems this mouth-based grooming may have developed into (or aided in the

development of) our modern form of kissing. One key piece of evidence illuminating the

similarities between grooming and kissing is the activity which tends to immediately follow
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both: sex. A 2007 study found that macaque monkeys appear to use grooming as a

purchasing tool to gain sexual access—males were 8 times as likely to groom a sexually

receptive female than a non-receptive one, and this grooming doubled the rate of the

female’s sexual activity with her partner (Gumert, 2007).

Figure 6: Fairly self-explanatory. The second photo was taken minutes after the first one

(Gumert, 2007).
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Whether it's a conscious process or not, our human brains seem to have this first-

to-second base progression built in: men who have been kissing their partner feel more

entitled to force sexual intercourse, according to several studies of date rape situations

(Abbey, McAuslan, Zawacki, Clinton, and Buck, 2001, p. 787; Goodchilds and Zellman, 1984;

Koss, 1988). On a continuum of premarital sexual pressure, being pressured into kissing is

more prevalent than all other types of unwanted sexual pressure (except for breast

groping): over 57% of college-aged women report having been pressured into kissing

(Christopher, 1988). Along with Helen Fisher's hypothesis that sloppier kisses are

designed to transmit testosterone, it is possible that "males may perceive a greater wetness

or salivary exchange during kissing as an index of the female’s sexual arousal/receptivity,

similar to the act of sexual intercourse" (Hughes, Harrison, and Gallup, 2007). Kissing as a

sexual inducer also helps to explain why French kissing (a.k.a. "sliding past first"), which

involves extensive tongue contact, is seen as a more romantic kiss, and is generally used

with "intent to arouse" due to its similarity to other sexual activity (...Abbott: "Third base!"

(Abbott and Costello, 1944))(Hughes et al., 2007).

The data are there to back up this claim. Males prefer wetter kisses than females,

and prefer more tongue involvement in kissing, in both long- and short-term relationships

(Hughes et al., 2007). A German study examining DNA sampling found that during kissing,

males also transfer up to three times as much saliva to the female as she does to the male

(Banaschak, Moller, and Pfeiffer, 1998) (although a sneaky explanation for this disparity

(which was overlooked by that study) might lie in basic gravity: in married couples, only

1/720 females are taller than their husbands (Gilles and Avis, 1980), reminding this author

of water slides). This transferred saliva was laden with enough DNA to change the
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composition of the females’ DNA samples, which demonstrates the potency of kissing-

facilitated hormone transfer.

Why is it that males seem to feel the need to increase their partners' sexual desire

through kissing way more than females do? The answer might lie in the way we are wired:

men are the "less investing sex," and so are "less discriminating when seeking short-term

mates" (Symons, 1979). 53% of males would consider having sex without kissing them

first, while only 14% of females feel that way (Hughes et al., 2007). Females rate kissing as

more important than males during all stages of sexual intercourse, including during

foreplay and post-coital cuddling (Hughes et al., 2007, p. 616).

So because of the emphasis placed on kissing by females, it seems that men know

(whether consciously or not) even if they just want a home run, kissing is still a key factor

in stepping up to the plate. Accordingly, this has led to a somewhat skewed male-female

perspective on kissing: males feel that kissing should lead to sex more often than females,

and, incredibly enough, males feel that kissing should lead to sex to the same degree with

long-term partner as a short-term partner (females were twice as likely to feel that kissing

should lead to sex with a long-term partner than a short-term one)(Hughes et al., 2007, p.

617).

We are fortunate enough to have all of this data about how kissing correlates to

sexuality because there is a wealth of information on human sexual behavior. For many of

these studies, researchers seem to throw in questions about kissing almost as a cursory

mention, yet that data is often overlooked in the final analysis, which tends to focus on just
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the sex. Many future research opportunities lie in studies looking solely at kissing’s

connection to sexuality.

Figure 7: This couple in Rockwell, Maine, appear to be sexually inducing each other. Their

dogs are less interested.

Connection Enhancement

After the assessment, after the inducement, after the change in Facebook

relationship status, comes the real hard work: making it last. Once kissing is no longer

necessary as an assessor or as an inducer, it becomes a connecter that enhances and

strengthens the relationship.

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One suggestion as to the origins of the kissing-as-connector hypothesis is that

ancestral premastication—in which mothers chew up food and then pass it directly from

their mouth to their child’s mouth—is a precursor to kissing. In his book Love and Hate,

Irenaus Eibl-Eibesfeldt recorded this drawing of a native Waika mother passing food to her

child in the jungles of Brazil (Eibl-Eibesfeldt, 1970, p. 136):

In his book, Eibl-Eibesfeldt follows that drawing with a clip-out from a Swedish

biscuit advertisement (p. 138):

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While the similarities are easily observed, this hypothesis seems somewhat

ludicrous, and there is little empirical evidence to support such a suggestion (Hendrie and

Brewer, 2010)(although it does make the spaghetti scene in Lady and the Tramp a tad more

believable). Still, the concept that mouth-to-mouth contact forges a strong interpersonal

bond (no matter if food or saliva is being transferred) remains recognizable today in the

form of our modern kissing.

Kissing-as-connector appears to happen for two slightly different purposes

depending on the stage of the relationship.

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Relationship-establishing kisses

For those at the beginning of their relationship, kissing can be a signal of mutual

romantic interest. This is frequently seen in movies: a standard romantic cinematic flow

culminates in the kiss, the first defined moment of the relationship (e.g., The Notebook).

Figure 8: A whole truckload of connection enhancement happens in The Notebook between

two well-paid actors who look good wet.

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(Note: It is worth mentioning that although this particular kiss looks passionate, it also seems

a little awkward: Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams don’t appear to be getting their

alignment right. They should both be turning their heads to the right, according to a

fascinating study conducted by a Swedish researcher who went into public places like parks

and beaches and watched couples kiss. He found that 72% of couples turn their heads to the

right to kiss each other, a statistic which mirrors findings that fetuses are more prone to turn

their heads to the right in the womb (Ocklenburg and Gunturkun, 2008).)

It is understandable, then, that kissing is classified as a “passion turning point” in

romantic relationships. Passion turning points include four major events: the “whirlwind

phenomenon” of falling in love at first sight, the first kiss, the first episode of sexual

intercourse, and the first time “I love you’s” are exchanged (Baxter and Bullis, 1986).

Kissing is an obvious turning point not only because of the dramatically increased physical

proximity, but because it signifies that one is now willing to risk exposure to diseases

transmitted by a partner. Kisses can trigger a fatal allergic reaction akin to eating the food

itself (so be careful of whom you make out with right after eating that Reese’s Cup)(Hallet,

Haapanen, and Teuber, 2002). Kissing can also facilitate the transfer of influenza (Schoch-

Spana, 2000), mononucleosis (Carbary, 1975), meningococcal meningitis (Tully et al., 2006;

all via Floyd et al., 2007). A recent hypothesis noted that kissing is an excellent way to

transfer the Herpes virus, and that having a first kiss several months before the first sexual

intercourse is an effective subconscious way to test for the presence of the virus (the

researchers then audaciously asserted that “the entire human courtship pattern” is
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influenced by the need to control the timing of such an infection, a claim which makes going

out for dinner and a movie suddenly seem a whole lot less enticing)(Hendrie and Brewer,

2010, p. 223).

But while agreeing to a first kiss does symbolize a significant degree of interest and

trust (hence why prostitutes often refuse to kiss their clients (Brewis and Linstead, 2003)),

the battle is hardly over. Indeed, the result of the first kiss is often a crucial factor in

deciding whether to proceed with the relationship. When asked "Have you ever found

yourself attracted to someone, only to discover after kissing them for the first time that

you were no longer interested?" 59% of males and 66% of females (all college students)

answered in the affirmative (Hughes et al., 2007). Similarly, 69% of males and 67% of

females felt that just because someone was a superb maker-outer would not be enough

motivation to enter a relationship (Hughes et al., 2007). This is unfortunate, since first

kisses are often a rough experience: a 2007 study found that 89.5% of pre-first kiss

feelings are negative (Regan, Shen, De La Pena, and Gosset, 2007). Fortunately, these

negative feelings decrease to 43.5% during the kiss, and stabilize at 53.8% after the first

kiss is over.

Here again lie some intriguing sex differences: men are more likely than women to

have a positive response to the first kiss (73.1% to 43.6%), and women are 7 times more

likely than men to have an adverse physiological reaction to the kiss (as in, be grossed out

by it)(Regan et al., 2007). This finding parallels the notion described earlier that men are

less discriminate when it comes to sexual interaction, and can afford (in an evolutionary
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sense) to be less selective about their sexual (and ergo their kissing) partners (Symons,

1979).

Relationship-maintaining kisses

While kissing is found to be generally more important at the beginning of a

relationship than in the middle (Hughes et al., 2007), lip-mashing still plays a significant

role in long-term relationships. As the relationship progresses and stabilizes, kisses start

to take on a slightly different form of connection enhancement. Since mutual interest is

already established, kissing becomes more of a regular method of communication.

Accordingly, kissing has a strong positive correlation with relationship satisfaction--

the more a couple kisses each other, the higher their relationship satisfaction (Gulledge,

Gulledge, and Stahman, 2003). Kissing also has remedial effects: 70% of males and 58% of

females felt that kissing could end an argument (Hughes et al., 2007; also see Gulledge et

al., 2003)(“We fight, we break up/we kiss, we make up” sings Katy Perry (Perry, 2008)).

Kissing can have some nifty health benefits as well. Any romantic "serial

interaction" (a.k.a. rounding the bases) "induces a psychophysiological response pattern

involving sedation, relaxation, decreased sympathoadrenal activity, and increased vagal

nerve tone and thereby an endocrine and metabolic pattern favoring the storage of

nutrients and growth" (Uvnas-Moberg, 1997, via Floyd et al., 2009). In other words, once

the body is accustomed to a positive feedback cycle generated by physical romantic

interaction, any of those interactions (including kissing) will lead to a positive physical
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response. Kissing has also been found to lower blood pressure and decrease heart rate

(Grewen, Girdler, Amico, and Light, 2005; ; Light, Grewen, and Amico, 2005), and decrease

cholesterol and cortisol (a stress hormone) levels in the body (Floyd et al., 2007).

Kissing also has a significant correlation to oxytocin levels in the body. Oxytocin is

known as the “bonding hormone,” a chemical presence which stimulates connectedness

within people (Carter, 1992). Any activity which includes warm physical contact (hugging,

touching, rubbing, holding hands) generates oxytocin. Kissing has understandably been

found to generate high oxytocin levels in both partners, and in doing so, increase feelings of

both short- and long-term connectedness (Light et al., 2005).

Once again, it is interesting to note that the two sexes feel differently about kissing:

females feel that kissing is overall more important than males do, and while males felt that

the importance of kissing decreases over the course of a relationship, females feel that

kissing becomes slightly more important as the relationship develops (Hughes et al., 2007).

Perhaps the most persuasive finding that kissing leads to connection enhancement

is the notion that after kissing their partner, those in a long-term relationship felt

emotionally closer to their partner than those in a short-term relationship (Hughes et al.,

2007). In other words, kissing had more of an emotional effect in long-term relationships

than in short-term. We tend to think of kissing as being for beginners, something you start

out with but then “should be rapidly passed on the way to definite sexual aim,” as Sigmund

Freud asserted (Freud, 1938). But lovers of all ages still seem to desire more kissing: in a

survey of 3600 married couples, 60% of respondents reported wanted more kissing in

their relationship—in fact, more people wanted increased kissing than increased sex
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(Santilla et al., 2008). Kissing can and should be taken just as seriously as a relationship-

maintainer as a relationship-establisher.

(Author's note: The reader is highly encouraged to attain a copy of F. Scott Fitzgerald's short

story "Emotional Bankruptcy," which presents the physical versus emotional aspects of kissing

and desire in an elegant literary way like only Fitzgerald could do (the story is online at

feedbooks.com/book/1127.pdf).)

Figure 9: This Upper West Side couple is about to enhance their connection.
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Supernatural

A limited number of situations have been reported in which kisses have

supernatural effects. The author advises against taking these examples too seriously.

Figure 10: The prince awakens Sleeping Beauty by mashing his lips into hers. While this is

cute enough, probably whacking her in the head with a pillow would have done the job just as

effectively.
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Conclusion

So in the end, what is the answer to our original question? There seem to be three

answers—but which one is right?

The correct answer is not one or the other—it’s surely a mix of all three. A mate

who passes his partner’s assessment can then have increased access to sexual activity, and

further on to an enhanced connection. The three answers are interwoven in fascinating

ways, and that's what makes philematology--the study of kissing--so darn interesting. That

interweaving is why studying kissing is so important, since it traces the curvy intersecting

lines between sexuality and innocuous contact, between physical and emotional, between

conscious and unconscious. In searching for the answer to such a seemingly innocuous

question, there is great potential to dig down to the heart of a multilayered, challenging,

and ultimately very pleasurable question.

…As long as we remember that this is, after all, just kissing. Certainly no one asks

themselves in the heat of the moment which of the three theories is driving their kiss, and

to do so would miss the point of a sublimely mindless experience. So please feel free to go

do some first-hand investigative research on your own, but keep in mind that kissing—like

most romantic activity—is much more of a haphazard art than a precise science.

But still, let me know what you find out.

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Figure 11: The Alpine beauty of Sils-Maria, Switzerland, appears to have inspired this couple

to launch into an extended lip mashing session which may potentially increase their sexual

drive and romantic connection. The author likes it when this happens, since it is through both

of those forces in both of those two people that he came into being.
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Photographs

 Cover: Heffner, B. (Photographer). 2009. The Kiss [photograph], retrieved from:

http://beautyxpose.com/2009/musings/painted-ladies-qa-with-dani-fonseca.html

 Figure 4: [Photograph of Derek Jeter and bikini babes]. 2009. Retrieved from:

http://www.terezowens.com/derek-jeter-captain-america/

 Figure 5: [GQ cover of Megan Fox]. 2008. Retrieved from:

http://images.huffingtonpost.com/gen/38896/original.jpg

 Figure 8: [The climactic scene from the movie The Notebook]. 2004. Retrieved from:

http://meghibb erd.wordpress.com/2010/02/02/best-kiss/

 Figure 10: [The climactic scene from the movie Sleeping Beauty]. Disney, W.

(Producer), & Geronimi, C. (Director). 1959. Sleeping Beauty [Motion picture].

United States: Buena Vista Distribution.

All other photos are by the author.