Reaping the Financial Whirlwind

By Elton Camp

The recovery is only pending

Cause people aren’t spending
Economic experts say
With a tone of dismay

Is this really a disgrace

Or a reality all must face?
Former days may see no more
Never to be like it was before

No car was too long or wide

Lumbering SUVs we tried
Had all the latest features
For us pampered creatures

Was no reason why

Too costly to buy
To allay any of those fears
Finance over more years

Didn’t mind to see

Only got ten m.p.g.
But our jaws did drop
At time it spent in shop

Made our economy a wreck

Put us in slavery to OPEC
Let some rich Arab dude
Ever raise the cost of crude

And there was no reason why

An expensive house not to buy
Banker didn’t make a frown
At paying nothing down
Was just fine in his eyes
House prices will only rise
You will never come to hate
A mortgage at adjustable rate

Income will grow each year

Means there is nothing to fear
If payments should get too high
Just sell and make another try

Or just simply phone

For home equity loan
That asset you should tap
Why be a clueless sap?

Never will come a day

To take your house away
Though when old and gray
The mortgage is still to pay

But that won’t be a curse

Then just put it into reverse
Out of shape don’t get bent
Reading all the fine print

Just trust your friendly adviser

We will keep you none the wiser
For each deal I can make
In a commission I’ll rake

And a small house won’t do

With bathrooms one or two
What you knew as a child
Would now drive you wild

To live in such a tiny place

Would now be a disgrace
Now give yourself a treat
At least 3,000 square feet
Bathroom three or four
Bedrooms, even more
Don’t let the cost make you stop
From having granite counter top

And to be happy, we also do feel

Appliances must be stainless steel
No matter how much must be paid
Cabinets should be the highest grade

Big screen television is not enough

Lacking media room would be tough
Keeping room, bonus room, three car garage
All these should be real, not just some mirage

This thing also you should do

Pick house with water view
And even better yet
For a boat go in debt

It was those days of such wild excess

That brought us to a financial mess
Finally came the day
The piper had to pay

Bank says you are now underwater

Did something you shouldn’t oughter
Should have had more sense than that
Now pay up, you sorry, cheating rat

On your payments you are far behind

And, yes, we most certainly do mind
Work with you? There is just no way
Right now, your debt you must pay

Excuses? We want none of those

On your house we will foreclose
We would rather reside in hell
Than to allow you any short sell
And you will also be debarred
From using your credit card
Just the minimum you do pay
Never get out of debt that way

Oh, we know we gave it free

But wasn’t this way to be
You weren’t wise to charge
And build a debt so large

Because of the foolish way you went

Interest on balance now thirty percent
Another way it is going to be
Will now have to pay annual fee

Don’t expect to write checks free

Such a thing will never again be
We seek every possible way
To make you have us to pay

But if savings you should get ahead

We are glad to see you out of the red
But don’t expect much interest us to pay
Certificates of deposit don’t work that way

One percent is generous enough

Hey, the times are now so tough
Though we use your money almost free
For early withdrawal, there is a big fee

If an emergency should suddenly arise

There’s a solution before your eyes
Payday loan will do what is right
To get you out of that fiscal tight

As to interest, don’t make a fuss

Just leave such details up to us
If debt you can’t pay when due
It is so easy the loan to renew

Maybe some of your things you can drop

At the friendly neighborhood pawn shop
You can always have the dream
That you will be able to redeem
Paid five thousand for that ring?
But only a hundred will it bring.
Arrive a day late to redeem your gold
And you will find it has been sold

So should not come as any surprise

When the rate of spending fails to rise
To stay out of financial water deep
Away from any new debt we keep

A Sign of the Times