Another Wussbag Lesson

By David DeAngelo

This week's Q&A discusses how even if you start off strong with a woman, slipping into Wussbag mode
will surely scare her off and ruin the relationship faster than it began. David DeAngelo, author of Double
Your Dating: What Every Man Should Know About How To Be Successful With Women, has your answers.

So, let's start with the definition of the word Wussy:

A Wussy (or Wuss) is a guy who tends to behave in a wimpish, submissive, needy  way.

The opposite of a Wussy is Maximus during his first arena fight scene in the movie Gladiator.

The problem with being a Wussy is that women are not attracted to weakness and thus, they are never
attracted to Wussies.

Never.

Ever.

Ever.

A woman might marry a Wussy because he's either the best she can get, has a lot of money, has courted
her for so many years that she finally gives in, or whatever.

 But, she'll never feel attraction for him.

Women don't choose who they feel attraction for, and they don't choose the emotions that they feel
either.

It just happens. Bam!

One problem that a lot of guys have to face is turning into a Wussy over time.

When you start off on the right foot, then gradually turn into a Wuss over time with a woman, that
emotion called attraction starts to go away inside of her.

A woman will tell her friends: "I don't know what it is, but for some reason lately he's just annoying to be
around," etc.
It bothers and angers women when a man that's interested in them acts like a Wussy. In many women it
actually triggers these emotions just like dominant behavior triggers attraction.

Of course, the worse things get, and the more annoyed a woman becomes, the more like a total
Wussbag most guys act.

It's one of those "vicious cycles" that usually ends with the woman leaving and the guy sitting there
wondering what he did wrong -- and thinking that maybe, if he had just been able to tell her just how
much he loved her, that she would not have left him for that other abusive jerk.

OK, so let's talk about your specific questions:

1. "How do you interpret her behavior? Is she still interested somehow or what?"

I interpret her behavior as natural and very, very predictable.

If you do it again in the future, the same thing will probably happen.

Is she still interested?

Yes, she is.

But not in anything more than being your friend.

You have, with your actions and communication, killed the attraction that she felt for you.

This is something you're going to have to deal with and take responsibility for.

You turned into a Wuss, and now you're paying the price.

You have to come to terms with your Inner Wuss before improvement can begin.

2. "Is there -- according your experience -- any realistic chance to get her back, to trigger her interest
and attraction again?"

The problem:

Focusing on getting her back will not only lessen the chances, but it will keep you from
moving on in your life.

The best thing for you to do is move on in your life.

Ironically, the way to give yourself the best chances of getting her back is to not try. Instead, go date
other women, and be scarce in her life.

In other words, you're never going to make her feel any attraction for you again by staying in touch,
being her friend and being "nice," and by trying to "win her over" again.

It would be nice if things worked that way, but they don't.

Now, why do guys chase women, and keep doing the wrong things, even after a woman has left?

In our dealings with women, we guys tend to think things like: "That's not fair" and "I did all the right
things," and to feel self-righteous because we're the good guy -- but miss the point and not get the
results we want.

Remember though: Attraction isn't fair, it isn't "right," it doesn't care how "nice" you are.

Attraction can be cruel and painful sometimes.

You know, the irony of your situation is that this girl was probably just as bummed out as you were
about this whole thing happening.

Women hate it when guys turn into Wussies.

I know, I know; she did things that made you turn into more and more of a Wuss. It's her fault too, right?

Wrong.

Women do this stuff to test you.

They're not actually trying to turn you into a Wuss. But if you do turn into a Wuss, she realizes that she
can't trust you to be a man and she has to go.

The solution:

As I mentioned, your best bet in this situation is to move on. Get on with it.

Most importantly, start dating other women immediately.

Not in a few days, and not next week. Now.

And stop calling your ex. Stop responding to her quickly. Stop being her Wuss-friend.
It's obvious that the last thing you want is to wind up "just being friends" with her. So stop doing it.

Next time she calls, tell her you have a date over at the house or you're leaving to meet a woman. Of
course, make sure it's true, like I said.

David DeAngelo