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LIVE INDEPENDENTLY WITH YOUR WIFE, BUT DON'T SEVER TIES WITH YOUR
FAMILY

[Q} I have been married now for four months to my cousin (father's brother's daughter), and we
live with my family. One day, there was a misunderstanding between her and my family, so she
returned to her father's house. She then requested a separate abode for her and me to avoid any
further problems. Her other choice was for us to live in her father's house. I stipulated to her that
we should continue to keep relations with my family. However, when I presented her idea to my
family, they refused and were adamant about us living with them. Will I be sinning if I go
against their request and live in a separate apartment with my wife or in her's father's house?

[A] This is an all too common problem that occurs between the husband's relatives and his wife.
In this situation, the husband should expend all of his resources to create an atmosphere of peace
and understanding between all parties concerned. If one of the two parties is in the wrong, he
should reprimand them gengly and carefully, avoiding exacerbating the situation even further.
Unity and harmony among relatives is consummately good.
But if such an end cannot be achieved, the husband can take his wife and live separately. In some
situations this is in the interests of all' it gives an opportunity to remove any rancor from their
hearts that might have been engendered while living together.
In this case, if he does separate from your family, he should stay close to them. This can be
achieved if he finds an abode that is in clsoe proximity to them, making it easier for him to keep
in touch with them. In this way if he can maintain his obligations regarding his family and his
wife while living separate with his wife in their own home, then this is better.
Fatawa Islamiya, vol. 7, Sh Ibn 'Uthaimin