Baseball Facts with Ryan Barton

Episode 1-01

Script by: Justin Rollen & Chris Boone

Announcer: Welcome to Baseball Facts, with your host [MY D**K] Ryan Barton

Announcer: Today’s show is brought to you by [MY D**K] The brand new Shake-

Weight for MEN!

Ryan: Good evening ladies and gentlemen, tonight we will be talking about the coreolis

effect on left-handed pitchers [Background Noise: Shut Up!]

Ryan: Ok guys; let’s get on with the show.

Ryan: The Cardinal’s slump has put them four games back in the NL Central, and in

other news, the Atlanta Braves have lost. Now-

[Cut to Commercial]

[Shake-Weight, Lopez Tonight, Raisin Bran]

Announcer: Unfortunately, we’re back.

Ryan: Today’s guest is [MY D**K]

Ryan: Seriously guys are there no guests.

Ryan: Wait we have here a little-league baseball player named [MY D**K] Jimmy Jones

Jr. Jimmy has four hits and seven catches in his career. Jimmy come on down

Ryan: So Jimmy, how does it feel to be on a LIVE sports show?

Jimmy: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA really? This doesn’t count. My mom made me do this.

Ryan: So you are a left handed pitcher who has been affective because of the coreolis

effect?

Jimmy: Nope. I am a right-handed left-fielder, but close.

Ryan: D**n it, you guys. Wha-

Announcer: Well that’s all we have of [MY D**K] today, tune in next week, but not

really.