In Less Than A Second

IN LESS THAN A SECOND
BY
Kerry Dennis
Copyright 2009
All rights reserved
1
In Less Than A Second
One
It all happened a long time ago. I was just a kid back then,
impetuous, frightened and maybe even a little crazy. It was 1965
and I lived in Phoenix, Arizona. Down at the end of the block,
where I lived with my parents, was a wide swath of undeveloped
desert. I would go there at night sometimes and yell at God. I
was angry with Him you see. I couldn’t understand how He could
let innocent people die in famines, in wars that seemed to have
no purpose, and from terrible diseases. I also couldn’t understand
why He would let so many people, like me, suffer in lives filled
with so much pain; Lives that seemed to have no purpose or
meaning. I also couldn’t understand why He never seemed to
answer my prayers. I had been taught that God had made all
these promises to us. Promises about protecting us and healing
us and all we had to do was believe and follow His
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commandments. But you see, I felt I had done that and still I
suffered.
Nevertheless, I probably suffered in much the same way as
many teenagers during the sixties. It was a time filled with such
confusion and angst made worse by the war raging in Viet Nam,
and fears of human extinction due to the development of weapons
of mass destruction. Weapons that could wipe out whole
countries and maybe even the entire planet. At that time young
men were fleeing the country into Canada, unwilling to submit to
the draft. There were war protests and even tragedies, as the
government tried to quell the swelling tide of anti- war sentiment.
Several students were killed at Kent State, as the National Guard
opened fire on crowds of angry student protesters.
I didn’t protest the war at that time because I didn’t
understand it and I didn’t know anyone who had been drafted. I
didn’t have many friends, mainly because I was such an attention
leach and if everyone wasn’t focused on me, thinking of me, doing
for me, I felt as though I didn’t belong. This was due to a long
history of abuse, which I will go into later, for it becomes part of
my story. Anyway, I was a very insecure, relatively unpopular
pest, with low self-esteem and a desperate desire for
understanding. I wanted God to reach down and fix everything so
I could be happy. Of course, that’s not what happened.
3
One night, while sitting on a rock in the desert yelling at God,

a vortex of Light appeared a short distance from me. I know, it
sounds nuts and maybe I am still trying to get attention. But let me
remind you that this was a very long time ago and since that time
my life has changed a great deal. As I write this I am much
happier with life on life’s terms. I think that is why I need to tell this
story. I really need to share what I have come to learn about life,
about God and about myself as the result of living through this
amazing experience.
So I am looking at this Tunnel of Light swirling before me,
and I said, “Are you God?”
The Light shifted through several spectrums of color and
then a sound of the voices of many people, from within the vortex
said, “You might consider us as such, but we have our own
Ultimate Reality.”
I sat there frozen, my heart pounding, my eyes riveted to the
vortex of Light with its shifting colors. At first I wasn’t sure I was
seeing anything at all, except maybe a dust devil picking up the
lights from the city. But as it held its position, about 10 feet from
me, and as it brightened even more, I felt this was possibly God,
finally coming with some answers. Then, when it spoke, in the
voices of many people, and yet as one voice, I started to get a
little scared.
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Kerry Dennis
This vortex and I had quite a lengthy conversation, in which I

was persuaded that all of Humanity’s ills are the result of its
collective beliefs and it’s choices, based upon those beliefs. I was
also told that my individual problems were the result of my
choices, and my thinking. I was not at all happy with what those
voices shared with me, that summer night, while I sat on my
desert rock. I did wonder why, if these beings were so highly
developed, they didn’t help us out. It would take several years for
me to find an adequate answer to that question.
In 1968 I was twenty-three years old. I was working for my

dad, delivering completed jobs to customers, in the company car.
I was making good money for that time, and had a car of my own
as well. This gave me the opportunity to attend a unique class in
Occultism every Saturday evening. The teacher, whom we
lovingly called Master Marty, was Martin Custer from Hoboken,
New York, and he made his living as a mail carrier. Before I met
him, when one of my friends told me about him, I pictured him in a
flowing robe, wearing a conical hat with stars on it. However,
when I met him, I thought he was just so ordinary. Nevertheless,
he would prove me wrong about that as well.
5
Master Marty taught me a great deal about the arcane world

of metaphysics, but the three things that stick with me still are,
“Let’s take the cult out of Occultism”, “Wisdom is knowledge in
action”, and “The most attractive force in the universe is Love.”
I told Marty about my experience with the Voices in the
Tunnel as I called it, and he was very intrigued. He was interested
in the fact that most of what I recounted to him about that
conversation, was about Love, and how it is interchangeable with
our mathematical concept of light and light speed. In fact much of
what I had managed to write down at the time were mathematical
formulas. He took a while reading them and cogitating on them,
and then finally, one night, after the lesson he called me aside.
“Do you understand this?” he asked.
“Not really,” I replied.
“Well”, he said, looking deeply into my eyes. “When you do
come to understand it, and I have no doubt that you will, I hope
that you use what you learn to help others, because this is very
powerful stuff, and can be used in two ways. I trust you will
choose the correct one.”
I didn’t understand what he meant by that back then, but I
grew in understanding as the result of what happened after a
traffic accident.
I was driving a delivery one day, stressed out and hot, as it
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Kerry Dennis
was a normal, blistering Arizona summer. I was not paying the

proper attention to my driving that I should have been. I came
through an intersection without looking, just as the traffic light
turned green. A truck broadsided me, as the driver tried to make it
though the yellow light.
After the initial impact that broke my pelvis, I was thrown
under the dash, because I had forgotten to fasten my seatbelt.
Thank God I had forgotten, because if my belt had held me in
place, I would have been killed when the truck flipped over on my
car, smashing the top of the car down to the level of the base of
the car windows! I had to be extracted from the car with what they
call the Jaws of Life. My father couldn’t believe that I had survived
the crash after he saw the car.
I spent several days in the hospital, and several weeks in
bed, in terrible pain. I asked one of my friends from Marty’s class
to ask Marty for a meditation that would help me heal and ease
the pain. A week later my friend returned with a very detailed
description of a meditation, complete with diagrams and
everything! I began using the meditation that night. It included a
lot of visualization, and was very intricate.
The first time that I tried it, my niece was spending the night
on a cot in my room. I managed all of the visualizations and
began to feel “floaty”, which was nice, but then there was this loud
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BOOM! I sat bolt upright in bed, totally disoriented, wincing with

pain. My niece was also awakened by the sound, and she asked
me what it was. I told her it was probably a sonic boom, but I
wasn’t really sure.
After about 30 minutes, my niece had fallen back to sleep,
and I began the meditation process again. After I had done all the
breathing exercises and all the visualizations, I began to feel
floaty again, and another loud boom brought me back. This time it
seemed as though I had actually dropped into bed from a foot or
so above it, and a shock of pain ran though my system. I sat up,
painfully, as my dad opened the door and asked if my bookshelf
had fallen. I told him no, that I thought it was a sonic boom. He
said that the sound had come from my room and I was
dumbfounded. I decided that I would need to be alone in the
house to really do this. I had no fear at the time of doing the
meditation again. I couldn’t believe that my teacher would give me
a meditation that was dangerous, and during those times just
before the boom, I really felt good, pain free. So, I was
determined to try again.

It was maybe two or three days later; my mom and dad had
gone bowling with their league and I knew they would be gone for
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several hours. I tried the meditation again. I reached that floaty

place in the meditation and then came the boom, but I was ready
for it and it didn’t break my concentration. The floaty sensation
lasted for quite some time, and then, as I drifted toward sleep I
was roused by another boom and another fall. This time I fell
maybe 3 feet. As I opened my eyes I saw a cone above me, like
an oddly shaped light bulb, dimming from bright white, to soft
white, to pink and then clear. I looked around me. I was laying on
a cushion at the bottom of some kind of clear tube about 9 feet in
diameter.
Suddenly, the tube filled with a strange smelling mist that
made me feel dizzy. Slowly, the mist dissipated and just outside
this clear tube there stood a woman. She was oddly dressed even
for the sixties. She smiled at me through the clear tubes wall.
Then, I felt as though I were being asked if I were injured. Her
mouth didn’t move, but I knew that was what she was asking. She
opened a door in the tube that had not been evident to me before
this and stepped inside. Now I could see that she was at least
seven feet tall! Although she was tall her proportions were perfect.
Again she smiled and repeated the question without speaking.
“I was injured before I got here,” I replied, confused not only
by what was going on, but by the fact that I seemed to have been
transported to some other location, and I had no idea where.
9
“Do you require assistance to ambulate?” She asked,

reaching toward me, her huge hand gripping my arm very gently,
awaiting my response.
“Where am I?” I asked, hesitating to move any more than I
had to, because of the pain in my hip, which seemed to be
suddenly missing. I shifted, no pain. I was suddenly awed, and
jumped up and moved around, giggling and yelling, “Who cares
where I am, I’m cured! You’ve cured me!”
“You are at Ancore Station and I would be happy to escort
you to a place where you can relax and wait for the one who has
been assigned to you.” She motioned toward the door in the tube
and I stepped out. She followed and the tube healed behind us.
No door closed, no wall slid shut, it just filled in like a wound
healing in quick time. She smiled again and motioned in the
direction we should go. We walked through a glowing hexagonal
tube that felt like it was made out of soft rubber. Our footsteps
made no sound. I felt like I was inside a living thing.
Suddenly she stopped, and waved her hand over a design
on the wall and a door appeared. “This will be your living space
while you are here,” she said. “There is a food synthesizer,” she
continued, pointing to some complicated panel beside a table.
“This is your bed,” she touched what looked like a large lighted
button, and a bed flowed from the wall, complete with bedding
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Kerry Dennis
and pillow. She walked further into the room and pointed to
another wall that had been out of view until I followed her in. “This
is your communications center”, she said, “but wait until your
guide comes before you try to use it, as it is somewhat
complicated.” The room was shaped like a fat V or L and at one
leg of the L there was something like a conversation area with
what looked like a pool in the center. It was a small oval pool.
“This is the guidance arena, where your guide will assist you in
comprehending all of this as well as in discovering your true
potential.”
I took a few steps toward it to look at the pool and when I
turned around she was gone and so was the door!
I sat down on the bed and looked around me. I was in shock
of course. This was not a dream! At least it didn’t feel like a
dream. Still, the only way to know for sure was to do something
that would hurt in real life but not in a dream. I stood up, looked at
the wall where the door had been and then charged into it with my
head down. I remember the sharp pain in my head and neck, then
the loss of feeling throughout my body, and then everything going
from gray to black.
11
When I awoke I was laying on the bed looking into the face
of a giant angel who was leaning over me. His hair was blond and
short cropped, his skin was olive and his eyes were gold, with
silver flecks in them. He smiled and my heart leapt!
“I trust that you had a reason for endangering your life like
that,” he said, in a calm voice.
“I was making sure that this was real, that I am not
dreaming,” I replied.
“You are fortunate that we have the capacity to reverse the
damage that you incurred, or it would have been the last thing
that you would ever know for sure, in this body.” He smiled and
stood up.
Oh my gosh he was tall! He had to have been eight feet at
least. I gasped and he smiled again. “I am certain that my
physical appearance is unusual, at least where you come from,
but I really have to tell you that I was considered the “runt” in my
crèche.” He chuckled softly and pulled up a chair with no legs. I
don’t know why I hadn’t seen it before, but at this point I realized
that the chair in front of the communication console was resting
on thin air! It looked like a modern desk chair, except that it had
no rollers, no post upon which the seat was fixed. He pulled it
beside the bed and sat and it molded itself to his form.
“So, I am told that you have questions,” he stated as a
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Kerry Dennis
matter-of-fact. He crossed his arms over his immense chest and

gazed into my eyes, smiling.
I was so warmed by that smile that I felt myself relax all over.
I was going to go into a tirade about that chair, but now everything
felt so normal and safe that I simply asked, “Who are you?”
“I am your facilitator. You may call me Aranon.” He smiled
again, this time showing huge, perfect teeth.
“How did I get here? I was just meditating,” I said, feeling
slightly perplexed. I was beginning to wonder if he were
controlling my feelings.
“Ah, is that what you were doing!” He slapped his leg, as
though I had just revealed the answer to an unasked question.
“Are you aware of how powerful you are?” He asked, as he
cocked his head and looked at me, the question lingering on his
face.
“I don’t know what you mean,” I said, feeling accused of
something I knew nothing about.
“We have been monitoring your planet for some time now
and the capacity for teleportation is quite rare in your species to
begin with, but the capacity to project several light years into
space is unheard of.” He shifted on the form-fitting seat, which in
turn shifted to accommodate his new position. “How is it that you
were able to do that?” He asked, leaning toward me, his face
13
mirroring the question.

“I was unaware that I had” I replied, defensively, feeling as
though I had unwittingly broken some sort of law. Then the full
force of what he had said hit me and I asked, my heart pounding,
“what do you mean, you have been monitoring our planet? Where
am I?”
“I was certain that the gate attendant already responded to
that question,” he replied, leaning back.
“Gate attendant?” I asked, feeling faint. “You mean that lady
that brought me to this room?” My mind was reeling with fear and
questions and as I struggled to sit up, he placed his huge hand on
my shoulder, keeping me prone on the bed.
“Best not get up just yet,” he said, calmly. “You must give
time for the re-patterning to take effect. Yes, the lady that brought
you to this room explained to you that you are at Ancore Station.
This is sort of a clearinghouse, if you will, for displaced persons.
Generally, our job is to rescue and reorient sentient beings that
show a potential for assisting in our cause.”
“Okay,” I said, feeling once again that I was in the midst of a
nightmare and would soon awaken. “But why me? Why did you
rescue me? All I was doing was meditating!” Thoughts and
feelings raged through me like a storm about to break.
He laughed, and the sound of it echoed off the walls, in a
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Kerry Dennis
place where the walls had seemed to soak up sound like a

sponge. “You really don’t know, do you?” he asked, running his
large hand through his platinum blond hair. “Your atoms would
have been scattered over half the galaxy without our intervention,
my friend.”
I just stared at him in disbelief. I knew Marty would have
never given me a meditation that would harm me, at least not
knowingly. Maybe he didn’t know what he had or maybe he did
and I was his guinea pig.
“I was just meditating!” I shouted, feeling lost and frightened.
“I see that now,” he replied, his voice extra calm, and his
gaze making the fear in me melt away. “I am now aware that you
had no idea what you were doing, at least not consciously. Can
you describe the meditation to me?”
His calming gaze made it possible for me to draw my
thoughts together and to describe the intricate visualizations
involved in the meditation. I was amazed at the clarity of my
response, and that my heart had resumed a normal rhythm.
Suddenly, I realized that he was doing this, that he was controlling
my thoughts and feelings and I pulled my eyes away, feeling used
and angry.
“Stop doing that!” I shouted at him, as my heart rate raised
again, the thoughts and the fears beginning to swirl within me
15
once again.
“It appears to me that you are much too emotional, right
now, to be coherent without assistance,” he replied, reaching out
and touching my shoulder once again. Imediately, my heart rate
dropped and my mind and emotions settled down again.
“I have a right to the way I feel!” I shouted, pulling away from
his touch angrily. “Every time you do that I feel like a trained pet! I
feel violated!”
He leaned back in the chair and studied me, while I tried to
avoid his gaze. Finally, he rose and walked to the wall, waved his
hand, the door appeared with a whoosh and he walked through it.
He turned, and smiled at me. “I’ll be back. Try to remain calm,
okay?” The door disappeared and I was alone once more.
Thoughts and feelings ripped through me, like a raging
storm. I tried to sit up but still felt pretty woozy, so I sat up in
increments. Finally, I was able to swing my legs over the edge of
the bed, almost fell, but then caught myself and sat huffing, like I
had run a thirty-mile race. I made an effort to control my
breathing, and slowly the light-headedness began to subside. I
decided to stand, and was able to do so, but it made me a bit
dizzy. I stood still for a moment, and then slowly made my way
over to the communications center.
Now this was a time when computers were rarely even
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talked about, except in science fiction movies, and this

communications center looked like something out of a high tech
Sci-Fi movie. The wall above the desk contained five different
screens, and it took me a while to figure out what most of them
represented. One of them showed some sort of readings from the
bed, like one of those sickbay beds in Star Trek. I discovered this
when I sat down on the bed and looked over at the screens. That
particular screen, which had been doing nothing at all, suddenly
began to display several animated graphs, like heartbeat and
temperature I guess. I couldn’t read the symbols so I assumed
they were in another language. Another screen showed the
hallway outside my door, another was blank and I never did find
out how to turn it on, another had symbols flashing across it all
the time, but I never discovered what they meant. The last one,
the central one and largest screen seemed to respond when I hit
all the keys on the console. Finally, after pressing as many keys
as I could with my hands, a face appeared on the screen.
“I see that you are in need of assistance,” stated a youngish
man who’s coloring appeared to be the same as Aranon’s. “How
can I help you?”
“Where am I? Who are you people? How come you speak
English? How do I get back home? Where’s the bathroom?” I
blurted, as though I was letting fly with a string of swearwords.
17
The man on the screen smiled, and listened to my tirade of

questions, then said in a patient voice, “the bathroom is next to
the nutrition center.” He pointed as though he could see into the
room. Perhaps he could. “Go ahead, turn around.” He continued
to direct, “see the wall there next to the table?”
“Yes,” I said, “but there’s no door there.”
“Go ahead,” continued the man, “walk over to it and put your
hand on it.”
“On the wall?” I asked.
“Yes, yes, go ahead and put your hand on the wall.”
I walked to the wall, put out my hand and placed it on the
surface but it went right through!
“Go ahead, walk inside there,” he encouraged.
I walked through the wall and found myself in another
smaller room. In a corner there was what looked like a commode,
but much deeper than a commode. It had a seat, but there was no
water in the bowl, nor was there a way to flush it. No toilet paper
either, but that was the least of my worries because all of a
sudden I really needed to go. I walked back through the wall and
asked the guy in the screen, “how do you flush it?”
“It cleans itself,” he replied. “Be careful what you put into the
bowl. At approximately a foot from the seat, inside the bowl,
everything is vaporized, so please try to keep appendages out of
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the bowl.”
“Is it safe to use?” I asked.
“Of course, just be aware of its dangers. There are a lot of
safeguards that you do not see, nevertheless, one must always
be appraised of possible danger.”
I turned and ran back into the bathroom, willing to brave
anything to relieve myself. It was nice not having to flush, or put
up with the smell until you do, but it was a real bummer not having
T.P. There didn’t seem to be any place to wash up either, and
that was upsetting. After putting myself together as best I could, I
went back through the wall. The face of the man was still there.
“Where’s the toilet paper? Where’s the sink so I can wash
my hands? Where is the bath tub or the shower?” I griped. “I feel
dirty. How do I get clean?” I tried to give him my angriest stare.
“I will send someone to demonstrate the facilities,” he
smiled, “and I suppose you could use some clean duds.”
“Duds?” I was startled by his use of the word. “If I am not on
Earth anymore, and you people are not Earthlings, and I can tell
by your size you are not, then how is it that you not only speak my
language, but you know all of the colloquialisms?” I was
absolutely certain that I was dreaming, because that would be the
only logical explanation.
“As you’ve been told, they have been studying your planet
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for quite some time. In fact, some of the people who work here
are f r o m there. I happen to be one of them.” He smiled
indulgently.
“You mean you are not ten feet tall?” I asked, feeling guilty
for my tirade.
“Nope, I’m five seven. I know you are scared, but try to be as
calm as you can. You are in good hands, and no one here means
you any harm.” He smiled again and the screen turned bright blue
and he was gone.
20
Two
Shortly thereafter, another woman, one more my size and

coloring, came to the door. When she arrived I was just sitting on
the bed watching the graphs on one of the screens move and
change colors. The door materialized and she asked, politely, if
she could come in.
“Are you from Earth?” I asked, realizing that she actually
could be.
“Yes,” she smiled, “I’m from Poughkeepsie. That’s in New
York.” She entered and stood a few feet from me smiling and
seemingly awaiting a response from me. In her hands she had
21
clothing, all neatly folded.

“Huh.” I said, at a momentary loss for words. “How did you
wind up here?” I finally asked, trying to imagine the circumstances
that could have brought her to this place.
“Actually,” she began, almost shyly, “I was supposed to die
in a plane crash. Only, at the last minute, I found myself here, with
the opportunity to help our world in a way I had never dreamed
of.” She seemed restless now, and then added, “Can I show you
how to use the facilities?” She placed the pile of clean clothes
beside me on the bed.
“No toilet paper,” I said, bluntly, getting up and going into the
bathroom. It was hard to get used to walking through a wall. I had
tried it with the door to the hall but that was a no go and so I
decided I was locked in, for whatever reason.
“You won’t need it. Our toilet not only cleans itself, it cleans
you.” She went to the fixture and pointed to what I thought was a
raised hexagonal decoration. “When you place your hand on this
control point, you release a spray of living organisms that will
clean you. Most of the time these organisms stay with you from
that point on and you don’t need to touch the control again unless
you shower. There are a few things that the organisms will not
eat. One of them is anything that our body needs to remain
healthy. It differentiates between what interferes with healthy
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function and what does not. But if you go to Top Side, you will
need to shower when you return, because the organism won’t eat
dirt, dust or sand.”
“You mean this is a planet?” I asked, excitedly. “Is there a
sun? Are there beaches and forests and mountains and clouds in
the sky?” By the time I finished my litany she was laughing.
“Yes, there are two suns, and three moons, it’s really a site
to see!” She too was excited, but suddenly she composed herself.
“Let me show you how to use the shower,” she said turning to
face it. “You can use it with your clothes on or off. It works by
showering you with sound pulses that are impossible for us to
hear, but which vaporize dirt particles and microorganisms.” She
smiled and looked me in the eye. “I can’t tell you much about why
you are here, or if you can go home, but I can say that they are
kind and they have been helping me a lot. It’s scary sometimes,
but it really has helped me.” With that she turned and went out of
the bathroom. I followed.
“The most wonderful thing here is the food synthesizer,” she
said, making it apparent that she would answer no more
questions aside from what she was supposed to show me. “It can
produce a meal that looks and tastes just like what you asked for,
but it is all vegetable protein. My body didn’t like it much when I
first got here, but I feel a whole lot better, physically, than I did
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before I got here. I think they are so far advanced that they know
better than we do what is good for us, you know?”
I was too dumbfounded to respond. I had been a vegetarian
for about five years and I knew it was good for your body.
Nevertheless, I really missed juicy steaks, especially when they
were rare, bloody and pink; so salty, so sweet! If it was cooked
correctly, it melted in your mouth!
“So, if I ordered a steak, rare, with baked potato would it look
and taste like that?” I asked. I was thinking, why not? I could eat
a steak and not even break my vegetarian diet.
“Oh yes! You can’t believe how real it looks and tastes!” She
smiled broadly, “but it contains only what your body needs to
function at optimum efficiency. I don’t know how they do it, but is
sure tastes good.” Again she smiled, broadly. “Are you hungry?
Would you like to try it?”
“Oh yeah,” I said, eagerly awaiting a steak dinner.
“Okay,” she said almost gleefully, and stood before the food
synthesizer and said, “This is Marjorie, 1357462.”
“What is your desire?” said a voice that emanated from the
unit.
“I desire to introduce…” she turned to me, “What’s your
name?” she whispered.
“Christy,” I whispered back.
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Kerry Dennis
“……….Christy, to you. She will speak to you now.” She

turned to me and made upsweeps with the palm of her hand,
signaling me to speak. I didn’t know what to say. “Say anything,”
she whispered, as if reading my mind.
“Hi there, food synthesizer,” I said, feeling really dumb.
“Good afternoon, Christy,” it replied in an almost human
voice, “What can I do for you?” I suppressed a giggle with both
hands and turned to look at Marjorie, and saw that she was
delighted as well.
“I was taught how to do that, but this is the first time I ever
did it. Now the synthesizer will take voice commands from you.”
“Ok, synthesizer,” I began.
“Yes, Christy?” It replied
“I want a T-bone steak, rare, with salt and pepper, a baked
potato with butter and sour cream, oh and add some chives.” I
smiled expectantly at the machine. A tone sounded and Marjorie
signaled for me to go open the door. I went to the machine, saw a
handle and pulled, and a door came open. Inside this box, the
size of an oven, sitting on a pedestal was a plate, with a still
steaming steak and baked potato. I lifted it out, as the plate wasn’t
hot to the touch. It smelled fantastic. I took it to the table. Then I
realized, I need a sharp knife, and fork to eat it with. I looked at
Marjorie, and then around the table area. “What about utensils?” I
25
asked finally, feeling silly.

“Ask the synthesizer,” nodding her head toward it, and
grinning.
“Synthesizer, I need a knife, and a fork. The knife needs to
be a steak knife.” The tone sounded again and I opened the door
to find a fork and a steak knife. “Golly! What else can it make?”
“Just about anything you can imagine, that will fit into the
box,” she replied. “Anything?” I asked, amazed
“Well, as long as it has been programmed for it,” she replied.
“You will have to ask your facilitator for more information about it,
because that’s about all I know.” She sat down on the bed. “So,
gonna try that steak?”
I took my utensils to the table and sat down in front of my
steak. I sliced off a chunk and put it in my mouth, rolling it on my
tongue like a wine taster. It sure tasted like steak. I chewed,
slowly. It had the same mouth-feel and consistency of rare, red
meat. In fact, I felt as though I was committing a sin against
vegetarianism. It was, nevertheless, a very enjoyable experience.
“What about the communications console over there?” I
asked as I chewed, nodding at the console and the wall of
screens.
“It’s really not that difficult,” she said, getting up and moving
toward the console. “Its all color coded, because that is the
26
Kerry Dennis
easiest for most races to remember. “For instance, if you touch

the gold and green rectangles, at the same time, you will get the
library. What you will see first is a list of words, most of which you
probably can’t read.” She touched the glowing rectangles on the
console and the center screen changed and there was a list of
words on the screen. “You can run your finger down the screen,
like this,” she explained, demonstrating by touching her finger to
the screen. As she did, the words closest to her finger lit up. “To
make the screen show you more words, you tap it twice.” As she
did this, another list of words appeared, and one of those words I
could read.
“English!” I said, chewing and pointing. “I get it, you need to
tell them which language you want!”
“Exactly,” she nodded and smiled, “you are very smart!”
“So what do you do then? Touch the word English, on the
screen and it goes to just words in English?” I was shoveling
baked potato into my mouth, but she heard me.
“Exactly! How did you figure that out?” She cocked her head
and looked at me with something akin to awe.
“Well, if you can change the screen by touching, and if the
words light up when your finger is near them, then it stands to
reason that you need to touch the word to get what it represents.”
I looked over at her, shifting my focus away from my meal. She
27
was just looking at me, with this blank look on her face. “What?” I
asked, feeling suddenly defensive.
“Sorry,” she said, pulling herself back to her demonstration.
“So we touch English and up comes a list of subjects, in English.”
“Thanks, I said, just leave it there. I think I will look it over
later.” I finished my dinner and then looked around for somewhere
to clean my plate. “Where’s the sink? How do you wash your
dishes?” I asked.
“You don’t. You put everything you are finished with in that
receptacle, over there.” She pointed to the synthesizer. I looked,
but couldn’t make out what she was pointing at. “The place where
you got it from,” she said, sounding impatient.
“You mean the oven? Where the plate appeared?” I opened
the door and placed the plate on the pedestal. As I watched, plate
and pedestal disappeared, leaving a large rectangular, empty
box. “Jeeze,” I said, “good thing I let go of it!”
“Oh, it would not have dissipated until you let go.” She
walked back toward the door.
“Um,” I said, hoping she would stay a while more. “What
about that conversation area over there?”
“Your facilitator will explain that to you. It’s been nice
meeting you, but I really have to go now.” She didn’t wait for a
response. She went to the door, waved and walked through, the
28
Kerry Dennis
door filling back in as she reached the hallway.

I have to say that I was really confused by her sudden need
to leave. I was sure that it was something that I said. Of course,
being the epitome of emotional imbalance that I was back then,
tears filled my eyes and I stared at the wall where the door had
been. “What did I say?” I shouted at the wall, “what did I do?” I
turned and pounded both of my fists into the bed, with all my
might, and my forearms were suddenly buried in the bed up to my
elbows.
At first I was quite shocked, thinking the bed was a live thing
that had hold of me and would never let go, but slowly my arms
were expelled from the bed until just my fists rested on the
bedspread. Well, that sure shifted my focus.
I spent a few minutes punching and jumping on the bed,
which probably seemed like truly outlandish behavior to those
who watched. I didn’t learn until later just how thoroughly I was
watched, but looking back on it now brings up giggles. They must
have thought I was quite a bizarre specimen! They must have had
to really be on top of it for those first few days I was with them,
because any number of times I might have severely damaged
myself with my craziness.
Finally, the more I jumped on the bed the more springy it
became, almost as though it was learning from this interaction.
29
Once it started to feel like a trampoline, I decided to stop. My

head was coming just a little too close to the ceiling. I jumped off
unprepared for the shock of landing on a surface that didn’t give
as much as the bed had and my legs gave out and I sprawled on
the floor.
As I rolled over to sit up, I saw Aranon enter. “I’m okay,” I
said, getting up. “I wasn’t trying to hurt myself, just lost my
balance is all.” I tried to produce what I thought was a sheepish
grin.
“Uh huh,” he replied, reaching down to give me a hand up,
“like you were just trying to make sure you were not dreaming?”
“Well, you have to admit, finding myself here was pretty
scary.” I stood as he gave the gentlest of tugs while I held on to
one of his fingers, his hands being so big. I felt like a small child in
the presence of a stern but patient parent.
“Yes, I am sure this is very disorienting for you,” he said.
“What was it that you were doing there? On the bed?”
“Discovering,” I replied. I went over and sat on the bed,
absently looking over the clothes that Marjory had brought for me.
“Let’s go over here to sit and discuss it,” he said, walking
toward the conversation area.
“Oh yeah,” I got up and followed him. “I want to know about
that.”
30
Kerry Dennis
Aranon ushered me into the circular area, indicating a seat.

It looked like a chair out of a space ship, a really cushy dental
chair, or an ultra-modern Lazy Boy. I sat down and it molded itself
to my body. I have to say that it was the most comfortable seat I
have yet to sit in. It seemed to mirror my body temperature, and to
not just mold to me, but to caress me, to nurture me. It was like
being in my mother’s arms. I felt warm, safe, loved.
“Now,” said Aranon, seating himself adjacent to me, “What
were you trying to discover over there on the bed?”
“Well, I was mad, you see,” I began, calmly, “and I wanted to
hit something, so I hit the bed, with my fists.” I looked over at him
to see if he were listening. He nodded and smiled. “So,” I
continued, watching his expression, “when I hit the bed with my
fists they seemed to be swallowed up by the bed. At first it scared
me ‘cause I thought I was stuck. Then, my hands just popped
right back out again and so I was trying to see how deep I could
sink into it.” He nodded, steepling his fingers over his chest. “So,
I started jumping on it, but the more I jumped the bouncier it got,
so I gave up, but I had jumped pretty high, so when I decided to
jump off, I lost my balance and fell.” I looked at him and smiled a
forced smile. “So, that’s it.”
“So what did you discover?” He asked, softly, patiently.
I looked at him for a moment, my mind blank, and then I
31
thought back to what I had been doing and remembered. “Oh,

yeah,” I said, “I discovered that the bed is made of something that
acts like it is alive, and that it learns from experience.”
“Interesting,” he said, and I was instantly reminded of Spock
on Star Trek. “What were you angry about?” He looked deeply
into my eyes and again I felt invaded, manipulated.
“Nothing!” I shouted, retaliating against the perceived
assault. I got angry, belligerent and sulky when I felt I was under
attack. Nevertheless, he just sat there, calmly.
“What were you angry about?” He repeated, again.
“None of your business,” I growled, turning my face to the
wall. There followed a moment or two of silence, where he
seemed to be waiting for me to look back at him.
“I beg to differ,” he responded, in a soft, calm voice. “My
business, right now, is to help you to recognize your power and
potential by assisting you in discovering which thoughts, actions,
emotions and behaviors are supportive of the productive use of
those talents, and which are not supportive. Some of your
thoughts, emotions and behaviors appear to be quite destructive.
On the other hand,” he reached over and tapped my shoulder.
When I looked at him, he smiled merrily and said, “just when I
think I have you all figured out,” he chuckled, “you amaze me with
the productive outcome of a seemingly unproductive display of
32
Kerry Dennis
emotionally charged behavior, by discovering something that

most newcomers don’t discover until they are taught. I have no
doubt that you will become one of the most memorable
challenges of my life.” Again he gave me that deep look, but this
time, I felt a sincerity that I hadn’t felt before.
We just sat there, for a few minutes, just being there. I was
rethinking my opinion of him as being, big, kindly looking, and
therefore dangerous. I had a history of physical and sexual abuse,
and I was always very guarded around powerful men that
appeared to be gentle. Those were the ones that you had to be
careful of, because those were the ones who could really hurt
you. I don’t know what he was thinking, but finally he stood up
and reached for my hand.
I grabbed his pointer finger and he chuckled at that, saying,
“You certainly are little, I’ll give you that.” I was five foot one and a
half at the time, and about 98 lbs. He pulled me up and then
added, “Let’s go draw up a pact.”
“What do you mean?” I looked up at him, towering above
me.
“Well, we have a code of ethics that we must abide by, and
in order for us to help you, first, you have to want that help.
Second, you must ask for that help, and third you must agree to
allow us to help you, even if that means that it might get pretty
33
scary. Also, you can decide, if it gets too scary for you, to go back
to your native position, with no memory of these events.” He
began walking toward the door, and I followed.
I started to question him and he just motioned for me to
come out into the hall. I did and the wall filled back in. “I don’t
suppose that would fill back in like that if there was anything in the
doorway that didn’t belong, right?”
“Don’t get any ideas, just yet, girl.” He chuckled again, took
my hand, enveloping it with his, and led me down the
passageway.
“Christy,” I said, “My name is Christy, just in case you are
interested.”
“Thank you,” he said, “I am glad to see that you feel safe
enough to identify yourself personally to me.”
34
Three
We roamed, for what seemed like miles, through hexagonal

hallways that glowed from every surface. I was trying to figure out
what made them glow. There didn’t seem to be any light bulbs or
florescent bars behind the surface of the walls, as the surfaces
glowed evenly throughout.
“What makes the walls glow like this?” I finally asked.
“The light is generated by a minute bioluminescent life-form
that thrives within the electro-chemical emulsion that has been
applied to the walls. In return, it also assists in replenishing the
oxygen in the stations atmosphere.”
35
“Oh,” I replied, thinking over this explanation. “Does that

mean that the material in the walls is mostly alive?”
“Yes,” he said, nodding with a smile.
“They’re in the floor too then, right? Because the floor glows
too, so how come we aren’t killing them as we walk on them?”
“Because they are protected from harm by a valent field,” he
replied.
“What does that mean?” I stopped to feel the wall closest to
me, and he stopped and turned to watch.
“For now, it means that they are protected by a barrier that
cannot be breached without a lot of special equipment.” He
motioned for me to follow him through an entryway leading into a
large round room that appeared to be some sort of control center.
Half of the room was a huge console, curved to fit the wall. Above
the console, on the curved wall, danced hundreds of video
images. Sitting in front of the console was a man that was even
larger than Aranon. As we entered, he turned in his seat, which
also floated a few feet from the floor.
“Ah!” said the giant man, looking me over. “Our newest
arrival!” His voice was like a sonic boom. I have to say that his
size and volume terrified me. “Have you brought her here to make
a pact?” The huge man asked Aranon.
“I have, Dorn,” replied Aranon. Then he turned to me, smiled
36
Kerry Dennis
softly and said, “Christy, this is Dorn. He is the director of all the
affairs on Ancore Station.”
Once again, the huge man, Dorn, looked at me, as though
sizing me up for a late night snack. I instinctively moved behind
Aranon, like a child hiding behind her daddy’s legs.
“Oh my!” said Dorn, softly, gently, “I believe my size frightens
you.” He smiled, and then turned to Aranon. “Well, I suppose we
had better get on with the intended agenda, no need for her to be
terrified for any longer than necessary.”
“Yes,” replied Aranon. He turned and placed his hand on my
back and hugged me gently to him and then moved me, with a
gentle push, out in front of him, and then placed his hand on my
shoulder, as though letting me know that he was there, and I was
safe.
“We are aware that you asked for help some time ago, when
you made contact with one of our Monitors,” stated Dorn, in a
much softer tone, “Do you remember that experience?”
“I, I donno,” I stammered, trying to imagine what he was
talking about. I was shaking so bad that I was afraid my legs
would give out. I would have remembered if I had met anyone like
this, wouldn’t I?
“I believe that you were angry with God”, stated Dorn, “and
the Monitor gave you some basic principles, I believe you would
37
call them formulas, through which to access the answers to your

questions.”
Suddenly, it I hit me! The voices in the tunnel! “Yes, I
remember. That was you?” I asked. Now I was in the grips of a
sense of awe!
“It was one of our Monitors, and you will probably learn
about them later.” He reached into a cabinet and removed a cube
shaped object. No, it was hexagonal, and it was black. “Do you
still want our help?” He asked, holding the cube so that I could
examine it.
“Yeah, sure,” I replied, thinking, I’m suddenly living inside a
science fiction novel, and I want to see what happens next. At the
same time I was overwhelmed with what had happened since I
started doing that meditation, and was scared spit-less by these
huge giants.
“I know that we appear very large and menacing to you, but
we have no desire to harm you.” Dorn spoke as though he were
invading my thoughts, and I, once again became angry.
“Yeah, sure, big guys, little girls, there’s bound to be one guy
in the bunch who gets off on dominating little girls, for his own
ends,” I said, glaring at him, my anger seething.
“I see,” he replied thoughtfully, looking at Aranon. “Do you
feel that either I or Aranon have the desire to dominate you for our
38
Kerry Dennis
own purposes?”
“Well, don’t you? I mean you both keep taking excursions
through my mind, and voicing things that I would rather not
discuss. It makes me feel violated.” I was running on anger, my
chin out, my face as menacing as I could make it, my hands
balled into tight fists.
“I see, so would you be more comfortable if we did not
invade your thoughts without your permission, except in an
emergency?” asked Dorn, negotiating.
“Oh yeah, there is always that emergency thing, and of
course, you will be the ones who decide on just what that means,
huh?” I think I was shouting, I know I was feeling increasingly
more vulnerable.
“No, I think that should be up to you. If we are committed to
assisting you in discovering your talents and abilities, then what in
the course of that activity would constitute an emergency?” asked
Dorn calmly, still negotiating.
“It’s not just your reading my thoughts that upsets me.” I
replied, maybe a little too hotly, considering his obvious effort to
appear non-threatening. “It’s when Aranon takes away my
feelings. That really pisses me off!”
Dorn leaned back in his massive chair, apparently thinking,
maybe praying for strength with which to deal with this feisty
39
specimen.
“All right,” he said after a tense silence. “We shall add that to
the emergency contingency as well.” I felt Aranon stir and tense
beside me, and I knew that he was not fully in accord with this
decision. “So, I will ask the question once again. When, during the
course of our attempts to assist you, would the use of these
‘therapeutic processes’ be acceptable to you? What kind of
emergency situation would warrant the use of one or the other?”
“I’ll need to think about it,” I replied, sullenly.
“Of course,” replied Dorn, “You have six of your Terran hours
to come to a decision. If you have not decided by then, we will be
forced, by our law, to return you to you’re native position, with no
memory of this experience.”
“What is my native position?” I asked, feeling somehow as
though I was being gently rejected.
“That place in time and space from which you came.
Wherever you were before you arrived here,” he explained.
“Well, couldn’t you just put me somewhere else? Like
Hawaii?” I pleaded. “I’m sure I could find a place to stay there.”
“It is our law that we must return you to your native position,”
he responded, shaking his head. “But maybe it would help if I
explained what we would like to offer you if you decide to stay.”
He put the hexagon down on a counter next to the control board
40
Kerry Dennis
and leaned back in his chair. “Aranon, pull up a couple of chairs,

this may take a few increments of time.”
Aranon pulled two floating chairs, effortlessly, across the
room and positioned them before Dorn, who sat on the raised
dais upon which the control center was located. These two chairs
floated about 3 feet off the floor.
“How do they float like that?” I asked, as Aranon motioned
me into a chair.
“They sit on a valent field,” he explained, “that is designed to
be adjustable. It extends from the base of the chair to the floor
and can be adjusted by using this panel.” He pointed to some
glowing rectangles of red, green and blue. “Red is for up, blue is
for down, green is for reclining, and red and green are for sitting
up.” I was right! It was an ultra modern Lazy Boy!
“Ok, but what holds it up?” I asked, knowing it sounded
stupid.
“An electro molecular process,” he replied, and then nodded
toward Dorn, who sat patiently waiting for us to give him our
attention. I looked Dorn in the eye and suddenly I felt small,
vulnerable and guilty, like a child about to be talked to by the
principal.
“We have no desire to harm you in any way,” he began, with
a gentle smile on his face. He was clean-shaven, just like Aranon,
41
but his color was lighter and his hair was the color of polished
silver. His eyes glowed a soft golden color, like two polished
coins. He was dressed in a white body suit, with colorful symbols
across his chest and on his sleeves. He leaned toward me,
clasping his hands between his knees.
“We find no fault with you, but we can see that you are
intelligent and talented. We also recognize some of your behavior
patterns as being consistent with someone who has been
severely mistreated by those they trust. Our goal then is to assist
you in feeling safe enough to come to terms with your
experiences, and then to recognize alternative choices in
behaviors and perceptions, that may assist you in making more
productive use of your talent and intelligence.” He looked into my
eyes but I didn’t feel him looking at my thoughts. “Would you like
to ask a question now?”
“I guess the big thing is trust,” I said, thinking about how
advanced they were and how well he had me pegged, and I
needed to decide now. “I want to trust you,” I said, fidgeting,
feeling very vulnerable, “but so many times I thought I was
trusting the right person and I was wrong. But, you seem to know
a lot about me, and why would you even be interested in me
unless you somehow needed me, and that’s where it gets sticky,
because I can’t be the answer to anyone else’s needs, I can only
42
Kerry Dennis
be the answer to my own.”

“I agree,” stated Dorn, smiling. “That is what this pact is for.
In order to make it we all have to agree to the rules and the
agenda. It is imperative that you, Christy, understand the terms,
and that you make the final decision.”
“Okay, I’ve decided to make the pact, but only if you don’t try
to take away my feelings. I guess I can say that it’s okay if and
when I am either injured or my life is in danger. You could call that
an emergency. As far as the mind reading stuff, I would like to
have some private time to think what I want and not be listened
to.”
“Ah hah!” laughed Dorn, “I knew you had it in you!” Again he
reached for the hexagon. “I won’t lie to you, Christy, this is not
going to be all fun and games. The process of identifying key
experiences in your past, auditing them, and then editing them
can be difficult, painful, and even scary.” He held up the hexagon,
black and shining, it’s facets gleaming. “This will record our pact,
from each of our perspectives. My perspective is this: I will do
whatever it takes to help you to become who you really are,
always respecting your thoughts, desires, needs and disabilities. I
will respect your desire to be allowed to experience your feelings,
as long as in doing so you are not injuring yourself or others. At
that point minimal restraint will be used, lasting only as long as
43
necessary. I will not punish you, nor will I abuse you in any way
for my own purposes. If at any time you decide that you would
rather be returned to your native position, you need only to speak
your desire three times and you will be swiftly returned to your
native position in space and time. While you are here you will
always be treated; by my staff and myself; with dignity and
respect. I will attempt to answer any questions that Aranon finds
too difficult, or inappropriate. For a time you will not have as much
freedom as you like, but that is because you will be quarantined
until you have been thoroughly examined. I suggest that you allow
Aranon to help you with your feelings during that process.” Finally,
he squeezed the hexagon and tossed it to Aranon.
The object sailed to just about a foot in front of Aranon and
then stopped. He reached out and plucked it out of the air.
“My perspective,” he began, holding up the object, “is that I
am willing to do whatever it takes to assist you in discovering who
you truly are. I will guide you through past experiences,
experiencing with you the breadth and intensity of those
experiences, so that I can assist you in shifting your focus, your
perspective and finally in discovering your Original Path, set forth
by your true self. Sometimes it may seem as though I am making
you do things you don’t want to do, but usually this will be
because of your present lack of understanding and your fear. I will
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Kerry Dennis
never do anything to harm you, nor will I abuse you in any way for
my own purposes. I will treat you with consideration and dignity,
although at times I may have to insist that you follow directions,
even if it means providing physical assistance. I will only use force
when I have no other alternative, and it will always be for the
purpose of assisting you to help yourself, when you are unable to
act responsibly because of your fear. I have no desire to harm
you or to cause you undue discomfort. I truly care about you and
would like to see you succeed in this process. I will give you as
much privacy as you need, but when I can see that there is a
definite disturbance in your thinking which you are unwilling to
share and it is retarding your progress, I will analyze your
thoughts. I agree to allow you your feelings within the parameters
suggested by Dorn. I also strongly suggest that you allow me to
divert your consciousness during the physical examination
process.”
For a moment he was silent, just holding the cube, and then
he squeezed it and tossed it to me, which was not that far. It
looped in the air, then hung in mid air, right before my face. I
wasn’t sure I wanted to take it. Some of the things that each of
them said, made me worry, and wary.
“What if I don’t agree with some of the stuff you said,“ I
asked, deliberately not reaching for the object.
45
“All right,” said Dorn, “what is it that you don’t agree with?”
“Well, there’s the difficult, painful and scary part. Is that what
this thing you are going to be doing with me will be about?”
“Probably,” replied Dorn, his tone matter of fact. “On the
other hand,” he continued, “it was probably painful for you to be
born, but you were born nevertheless. Your mother knew that
giving birth to you would be painful, but she did not refuse to give
birth to you, in light of that knowledge. Whenever you have
learned something new, like riding a bicycle, your legs hurt,
possibly for days, until you got used to that form of exercise. It’s a
fact of life that when you attempt to make changes in your
emotions and your thinking, your behavior and your lifestyle, you
are bound to go through some discomfort. You determine the
length and the intensity of that process. It all has to do with your
willingness to make the necessary changes and then stay with it
until the process is complete. If that is not within your capability at
this time, you can choose to be returned to your native position.
Yes, it will be difficult for you, it may very well be painful for you,
and it could even get pretty scary for you. What’s it worth to you to
have a better, more enjoyable, more productive life?”
“I’ve had enough pain in my life, why would I want to go
through more?” I asked, feeling helpless to move beyond my fear.
Tears began to seep from my eyes.
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Kerry Dennis
“Indeed you have,” nodded Dorn, with a pained look, “and

you are probably headed for a great deal more unless you get to
the source of the pain you still carry within you.” He shifted in his
seat, and looked directly at me. “You are in pain all the time,
aren’t you? Not physical pain, but a pain more insidious, more
destructive, because no one can see it and you can’t explain it to
anyone. Am I correct?”
“You can read my thoughts, you should know,” I quipped,
again feeling violated.
“I didn’t read that in your thoughts, my friend, I read it in your
behavior, and in your expressions. I know deep emotional pain,
because I work with it every day. You are one of the lucky ones;
you have the choice to run from our assistance. Most of those
who stand before me don’t have that luxury. The choice to leave
here would mean certain death, because most were rescued from
a terminal event. If we were to send you back to your native
position, you will have a life that continues on. How do you want
that life to continue? As it has been, or on a different path, from a
new, more self assured perspective?”
“Yeah, but I don’t know that is true. I don’t know that what
you will do to me here will make me a better person, or just your
slave, your automaton.” I followed that thought for a moment and
became frightened by the implications.
47
“Ah,” he said, “but you do know. Why else would we be

making this pact?”
“I have no way of knowing if you will abide by it. For all I
know it is just a formality to make me willing to allow you to do
unspeakable things to me.” Now I was crying, and thinking of
running. Aranon placed his hand on my shoulder, and I shrugged
it off. “Don’t take away my feelings!” I yelled at him. “I have a right
to my feelings!”
“Well,” said Dorn, almost sadly, “it may be that we may not
be able to assist you. We cannot force you to take part in your
own healing, your own self-discovery. All we can do is offer that
opportunity. The choice to participate is up to you.”
Tears were rolling down my face, soaking the front of my
pajama top. I wanted help and these were obviously highly
advanced beings, who rescued me from something I still didn’t
understand. They have technology that could benefit my planet, if
indeed I am no longer on Earth. Why can’t I trust them? Aren’t
they promising to treat me with care and consideration? Gosh! I
just can’t go back to the way things were, I just can’t!
I grabbed the object. It tingled in my hand. I looked at Dorn,
who seemed surprised by my action. “I agree to let you help me
as long as you treat me with care and respect, and if I don’t think
you are doing that, I’ll ask to go home and you got’a send me, like
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Kerry Dennis
right away. I want you to send me back a better person. I don’t

want things to go back to the way they were. No matter what,
when you send me back, I got’a have a better life than I would’a
had if I never came here. I need you to promise me that!” I was
sobbing now, and I didn’t even know why.
“I do,” replied Dorn, solemnly. “You need to squeeze the
object to make it complete.”
I squeezed the hexagonal object, and it felt like a rubber ball,
giving a little as I squeezed. Then it started to glow, it rose out of
my hand and then it shot across the room, disappearing from
sight.
“It’s done,” smiled Dorn. “Aranon, escort the seeker to her
quarters, we have a lot of planning to do.”
Aranon gently led me from the control center. He kept his
silence as he led me, still sobbing, back to my room.
49
Four
Aranon opened the door to my room and led me to the

conversation area. He gently nudged me into a seat, and then sat
in the opposite chair. I continued to cry, as a seemingly endless
flood of emotion flowed through me, seeping, in copious amounts,
from my swollen eyes.
“Being that you have asked me to refrain from infringing
upon your thought processes,” Aranon said, breaking the tension
of his silent presence, “would you mind explaining what it is that
has you in such an emotionally charged state?”
“If you can’t figure it out, why should I tell you,” I said,
choking back another flood of tears.
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Kerry Dennis
“Well, I suppose I could figure it out,” he replied, sounding

almost irritated, “but you have successfully disabled my ability to
do so. So, in order for me to acquire an adequate understanding
of what you are feeling, you will need to explain it to me.”
“God! You are so dense!” I cried, lapsing into another round
of deep, gut wrenching sobs.
“I am unfamiliar with the term dense as you just used it,” he
said, his tone indicating that he was coming close to frustration.
“Would you please enlighten me as to it’s meaning, under these
circumstances?”
“Thick as a brick,” I muttered, wiping tears from my eyes with
my fists, while trying to suppress my fury. “Dumb as a door knob,
insensitive, clueless!” I said, barely controlling the desire to jump
up and walk away from him.
“I see,” he replied, still struggling to control his own
emotions, “because I do not just innately know the cause of your
pain, regardless of the fact that I have been severely
handicapped, as the result of the pact that we just made,” and
now, suddenly he shifted to a calm and metered voice, “you
apparently find me ineffective, impotent, and devoid of feeling. I
guess I shall remain so, until you are ready to enlighten me as to
what it is that pains you so deeply.” He sat quietly, I suppose
waiting for his words to penetrate my emotional reactiveness.
51
“You really don’t get it do you?” I asked, doggedly pushing

on with my anger and frustration, and yes, my need to feel
somehow superior over him because I knew what was eating at
me, and I knew that as long as he couldn’t get into my thoughts,
he didn’t.
“I await your instruction,” he replied, calmly, without an
ounce of facetiousness.
After about five minutes or so, as my emotions calmed I
asked, ”what brought you to Ancore Station? Was it your choice,
or did you wind up here because of some accident that you had
no control over?”
“Actually, it was a little of both,” he replied. “When I reached
my point of maturity, and it was necessary to choose my field of
service, I joined the Brotherhood of Light. That’s not our term for
the organization that I joined, but loosely translated, it’s meaning
is close enough. I was to begin my internship, another borrowed
term, on a planet called Valcore, but somehow, my orders were
changed and I wound up here. That was approximately a century
ago, according to your Terran timetable. I have never wanted to
be anywhere else, or do anything else since that day. I have
always found my work to be gratifying, interesting and fulfilling.”
“But you didn’t suddenly wind up in a place where you had
no idea where you were and how you got there, scared and
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Kerry Dennis
confused, overwhelmed by the alien-ness of everything,” I

retorted, still trying to belittle him, take him down a few pegs. “And
you weren’t rushed into making a decision that could….maybe
even end your life, at least as you know it, forever. I have no idea
what you are going to do to me!” I started to cry again. “I have no
idea what kind of beings you are, except that you are highly
advanced. For all I know you could just be playing with me, like a
toy poodle that you got from the pound. What will you do with me
when you tire of me? Or what will I do if you don’t? How can I go
home when the only way there is under your control?” Fear was
rising in me again, with a fury I hadn’t known in a long time. I
began to shake, uncontrollably, and felt like I was freezing. I had
become so frightened that I was unable to continue.
Aranon rose from his chair and knelt beside mine. He took
my hands in his. All I felt was his warmth. That seemed to help a
little. I looked into his face to see if I could decipher his true
intentions, and saw only deep concern.
“Will you allow me to assist you with these feelings?” He
asked, and I could see that his eyes were glistening. Did he really
care about me, or was this just another game to obtain my trust?
How will I ever know what these people want? They’re Aliens!
How could they ever relate to my needs, let alone know what to
do for me? My mind was going round and round, and my fear
53
was an angry animal eating me up from the inside out.

Aranon grasped my hands more tightly and then, in a
commanding voice said, “Christy, look at me! Look at me now!”
“No-o-o-o-o!” I cried, shutting my eyes and struggling to get
free of his grasp. “Don’t, don’t make me!” I began to struggle even
more and he let go of my left hand, and pressed the palm of his
right hand on my forehead, and suddenly everything faded to
black.
When I woke I found myself on a slick hard surface. I looked

up and above me, in mid air, hung a huge, highly polished crystal
slab that appeared to be about the same size as the table upon
which I lay. I could see my reflection in the surface of the slab
above me and to my shock, I was stark naked! Then, before I had
time to react to this awareness, the upper slab began to glow,
with pulsing light and then it descend toward me. I was certain
that I would soon become nothing more than a smear on some
giant microscope slide. As the slab got closer and closer I could
feel my body lift off the table I was on and I became suspended
between the two slabs of crystal. Then, as I hung suspended, I
felt electrical shocks run through my body, and I tried to scream.
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Kerry Dennis
Nothing happened. I couldn’t open my mouth, I couldn’t make a

sound, I couldn’t move. I could see what was going on, I could
feel what was going on, but I could not respond in any way. My
only thought was, “Well, now, I guess they have discovered how
to control me.” Then, as more shocks coursed through me, I
thought, “This is it, I’m gonna die. I’ll never see Earth again. I’ll
never see my family again. Oh God, why?”
Suddenly, the overhead slab began to rise and slowly my
body lowered to the surface of the table. Aranon appeared beside
me, his face filled with compassion. “You are going to live,” he
said, giving me a soft smile. “I had someone bring you the
clothing from your room, so that you can feel more comfortable.
Don’t worry, you are completely safe, in spite of what your fear is
telling you.” He placed the clothing over me, as though honoring
my modesty, and walked out of the room.
I sat up and looked at the one-piece jumpsuit, much like
what Marjorie was wearing when she visited me. There were no
zippers, no buttons, and no openings big enough to get into the
suit. Frustrated, I pulled on the material, which stretched with very
little effort. After a few moments of confusion, I realized that I
could stretch the neck opening big enough to slide my legs into it
and the pull it up my body. It fit like skin, yet wasn’t tight on my
body. I felt warm enough, but not too warm. The material was soft
55
against my skin and there were no places where it was too loose
or too tight. It seemed as though it was made just for me, just my
size. I stood, with the jumpsuit on, but still bare footed, looking
around me for a possible way out of this room. As I began to
investigate more thoroughly, a door appeared and Aranon stood
in the hallway.
“I see you figured out how to put it on,” he said, grinning,
“Shall we go?”
“I need shoes,” I replied, looking down at my bare feet.
“Ah, of course,” he said, moving to a large control panel and
rapidly touching keys. A beep sounded and he went to what
looked like another food synthesizer, except it was bigger, and
opened the door. He removed a pair of what looked like “pool
shoes”. They seemed to be fabric, with a little tread on the
bottom. He handed them to me.
“How do you know they are my size?” I asked. Looking them
over.
“Our system just scanned and measured every part of you, I
am sure it has your shoe size. Try them on,” he said, grinning. He
pulled a seat over for me to sit down on while I put them on.
They slid easily onto my feet, and seemed to mold to their
form. I got up and walked around. They were like having no shoes
on at all! They supported my arch, and cushioned my feet in all
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Kerry Dennis
the right places. I smiled broadly at him, feeling as though I had

been given a wonderful gift.
“You’re right,” I said, “they fit perfectly!”
“I am glad to see that you are feeling a little better,” he said,
as we entered the hallway.
“Was what I just went through, in that room, that physical
exam that you were all talking about?”
“Yes,” he replied, “and we also did a little energy balancing
on your body’s energy centers as well. From the disparity I saw
on the readouts, your energy system was out of balance, and that
may have had something to do with your heightened emotional
state. Hopefully, you will continue to improve from this point on.
He smiled again, and nudged me toward the correct hallway at
the intersection we had reached.
“So, when do I get to go Top Side?” I asked, hoping to see
more of this place than just rooms and hallways.
“Not until we have done some work on stabilizing your
emotional system,” he replied. He stopped and opened a door. It
was my room. “I would like to begin that soon.” He closed the
door as I entered. “Are you hungry?” He asked.
“I had a steak and baked potato a while ago, I think. I can’t
keep track of time here.”
“That was yesterday, according to your Terran timetable. I
57
think you should eat something now.” He went to the food

synthesizer and then turned to face me. “Any preferences?” He
asked.
“Oh, it knows me now,” I replied, joining him. “Marjorie
introduced us.”
“Great!” he said, turning toward the door, “then you can
order up a meal, and I can go do some planning for our next
session.” He waved his hand and the door opened. “Enjoy your
meal, I’ll be back soon,” he said, as he walked through the door
and was gone.
I stood before the synthesizer thinking of what I would like.
Of course, my inner desire ran toward ice cream sundaes and
chocolate cake, but my reason told me to eat a balanced meal.
After some thought I finally decided on fried chicken with mashed
potatoes and gravy, a garden salad with extra tomatoes and bleu
cheese dressing, green beans and a large glass of chocolate
milk. When it arrived, I took my plate over to the communications
center and began perusing the library. I found a place where you
could ask for any book on a list that was too long to calculate, all
sectioned out by author, by title, by genre, and by subject. There
had to be a million books in there! I went to the main menu by
touching the words on the bottom of the screen. The main menu
contained a whole bunch of interesting stuff, but one heading
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Kerry Dennis
jumped out at me: Ancore Station. I touched that one and was
presented with another list of topics. There was one that said
History so I touched that one. Up came another menu, and on the
bottom it said “Visual-Commentary”, so I touched that one.
Suddenly, the screen changed and I was looking at some sort of
movie, which began in deep space. I ate while the story of Ancore
Station unfolded on the screen before me.
The development of Ancore Station spanned three Earth
centuries, after it’s original inception, which began with the dream
of Loki Amok, one of the original founders of the Universal
Brotherhood Of Enlightenment. It began with the discovery of a
location that was identified as a space-time junction, where a
jump gate could be constructed that could provide access to
nearly every space-time coordinate in the Central Commons. This
would, in itself, provide access to nearly all the known universe
with the use of “bounce ports”, capable of bouncing a gate signal
as much as 500 light years in any direction in space-time.
Loki Amok envisioned a station that could monitor all space-
time coordinates for evidences of inner development within
sentient beings, and then rescue promising individuals whose
lives were about to be terminated due to unfortunate
circumstances. His dream was to give these individuals an
opportunity to extend their lives beyond those circumstances and
59
to then train them in the Art Of Enlightened Thinking. Then, once

that training was complete, those individuals could be returned to
their planet of origin, with no memory of the event and yet taking
the seeds of enlightenment with them, with the hope of
germinating a Universal Awakening. Few have seen the vision as
completely as Loki Amok, but many find the continuing work of
Ancore Station to be the benchmark in exobiology and inter-
planetary relations.
The real beginnings of Ancore Station came when a “rogue
planet” of acceptable dimensions was relocated within the center
of the space-time junction. As luck would have it, there were two,
G-type stars, in just the right proximity to provide the heat and
light necessary to make habitable conditions on the new planet
possible. The long task of “terraforming” then began. For an Earth
century, the planet remained a frozen rock, while engineers
worked to develop the ecosphere by adjusting the planets gravity,
heating the inner core to produce volcanism and transferring giga-
tons of water, in the form of ice, from glacial planets and asteroids
near and far.
Christy watched as the movie showed; in such detail that
she was certain it couldn’t be faked; the relocating of the planet
and the work of the engineers as they adjusted the gravity with
complicated machines as big as a city. She watched as tons of
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Kerry Dennis
water flowed literally out of nowhere, only to refreeze into giant

icebergs. She paused only long enough to take a bite of chicken
and mashed potatoes.
After the first century of work, the planet began to transform,
first into an ice world, and then slowly into a habitable planet.
Then came the building of The Station. Long before the surface of
planet itself was habitable, Ancore Station was up and running.
The Station was built within the planet, first as a series of tunnels,
hermetically sealed and made as habitable as any space going
craft, and then as a network of domes, which provided access to
the, yet uninhabitable, surface.
In the third century after its inception, Ancore Station was
finally able to expand to the surface outside the domes, due to the
development of an ecosystem of living and nonliving components.
Soon there were oceans, forests, and plains teeming with life.
The possibility of tides and weather systems became a reality,
made possible by the insertion of three moons, strategically
placed, within stationary orbits.
Today, Ancore Station is not only the largest rescue and
training center for humanoid “Workers In The Light”, but also the
favorite vacation spot for thousands of enlightened individuals
throughout the galaxy and beyond.
Christy watched as the film showed sandy beaches,
61
populated by smiling individuals, forests filled with exotic animals

and birds, and ending finally, with a shot of a small child, grinning
from his perch atop an animal that looked like an Earth type
elephant, while background music swelled with the emotional
strains of a piece by Beethoven.
She was in awe, trying to calculate the amount of
technology, and energy it had taken to create this place where
she sat eating fried chicken with no fat and no cholesterol. She
wondered how much an Earth scientist would give for just a
smidgeon of the knowledge and technology it took to build this
place. As she finished her meal and took the plate and utensils
back to the synthesizer, the door opened and Aranon entered.
“I am glad to see that you have finished your meal,” he said,
closing the door with a wave of his hand and walking toward the
conversation area. “I guess we can get started then, all right?” He
seated himself in one of the chairs and awaited my response.
“And what is it exactly that we are going to do?” I asked,
feeling a momentary twinge of fear settling into the pit of my
stomach.
“Come sit,” he said, patting the seat next to him in the
conversation area. “I’ll explain it as best I can.”
I went over and seated myself, still feeling that wariness that
was so ever-present in my dealings with others, especially large
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Kerry Dennis
adult males. “I am sorry that I get scared so easily,” I mumbled,

still finding it difficult to look him in the eye. “I’ve almost always
been scared, even before I got here, so don’t think it is your fault.”
“I don’t believe in the concept embodied by the term fault, for
when you trace the series of events that caused a condition or
situation back to its First Cause it always ends up in the same
position, The Dawn of Creation, The Creator’s first words, “Let
there be Light,” and so all things occur in accordance with what
The Creator envisioned. We all have the capacity to live in
harmony with all of creation, harming no one, rejoicing in
everyone. The challenge to obtaining that capacity lies in how
willing you are to embrace yourself and your experiences, fully,
with gratitude and acceptance, and then glean the power held
within them for the purpose of serving others. We cannot realize
our full potential until we have cleared away all of the blockages
that restrict the flow of light into our lives.”
He paused for a moment, perhaps gauging if I understood or
not. My gaze was in my lap, where it generally was when I was
being lectured. “You do understand,” he began again, “that our
greatest desire is to assist you in helping yourself, don’t you?”
“Yeah, I guess,” I replied, still not quite certain, but hoping it
was true.
“We have the technology, but it’s you that must be willing to
63
do the work.”
“Okay, but what do you want me to do?” I asked, getting
frustrated by this whole scene.
“Are you willing to do as I ask, as long as I can explain it to
you in terms you understand?” he asked, reaching out and
touching my knee. “I would prefer that you look at me, so that our
communication is complete. Okay, Christy?” I looked up, still wary
of his eyes. “I’m not going to look into your mind, please don’t rob
me of the pleasure of looking at your face.” He smiled.
“Yeah,” I quipped, “some pleasure! Like maybe just a notch
above revolting!” His face changed, and he looked saddened.
“You don’t really believe in that image of yourself, do you?”
“What?” I said almost hotly. “Can you imagine this face in a
Hollywood movie in any other role than Extra? My gosh, I scare
myself every time I comb my hair, which by the way is something I
want to talk to you about. I need a mirror. I can’t comb my hair
without a mirror.” I drew a sad face and looked back into my lap.
“You are very good at reframing a conversation to meet your
needs!” Laughed Aranon, his face filled with merriment. “That’s
going to be a very handy talent one day.”
I looked at him with confusion. “What? What did I do?”
Suddenly I realized that I had changed the subject, so I guess I
really knew what he meant.
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Kerry Dennis
“Okay,” he said, still smiling, “Let’s get back on point.

Anything that blocks the flow of light into your life needs to be
looked at, and that includes your image of yourself. The best
place to begin looking for the etiology of the blockages that
impede the flow of Light into your life, would probably be your
birth,” he said, getting up. He walked over to the oval pool.
“Through the magic of bio-symbiotic technology, the two of us can
visit the events surrounding your birth.”
“Oh yeah?” I asked, intrigued, “How?”
“Well, this pool contains a living organism that has the
capacity to interface with your neural network and then broadcast
signals that can be translated into neurological impulses,” he
reached down beside the pool and picked up an object that was
unrecognizable to me. “By using this.” He held up what looked like
a large gem. “This is my interface with what is being broadcast.” It
looked like a crystal, bright red, like a ruby, but oddly shaped. “It
fits into this slot.” He turned and showed me an unusual opening
in the back of his neck. “This taps directly into my neural network,
and picks up the broadcast from the pool and thus from within
your neural network. What happens at that point is that we are
totally connected, seeing the same images, thinking the same
thoughts and feeling the same feelings. At that point, I will guide
your consciousness toward the memory of your birth, which
65
believe me, is still there, and we will experience it together.”

“Ah, what keeps me from drowning?” I asked, realizing that
there was no breathing apparatus for me to wear.
“It isn’t water, Christy, it’s a symbiotic organism. One of its
processes is to turn carbon dioxide into oxygen. You breath it in,
like you would air, and it will supply oxygen to your body.”
I reached into the pool and moved my fingers through the
seeming liquid. It wasn’t thicker than water, but it was definitely
thicker than air. “That’s gonna be hard to breathe,” I said,
beginning to feel scared. I know he could see the fear on my face.
He gave me a compassionate look.
“You didn’t think I was just going to toss you in, did you?” He
asked, soothingly. “You have to be trained to use the pool, and
we will do as much training as it takes for you to be comfortable
doing this. I just want you to know, that our goal in doing this is to
return to key events in your life, and experience them together.”
“So when do I begin this training?” I asked.
“As soon as you are ready,” he replied, with a gentle look.
66
Five
I stood beside the pool, dipping my hands in the solution and

thinking about all that I had heard seen and experienced, within
the last few hours. I still had no proof that this wasn’t some kind of
elaborate hoax. Maybe I had really lost my marbles and I was lost
in a dream world of my own making. But, if this were a dream or a
hoax, where did this technology and this strange philosophy come
from? Certainly not from my own subconscious, because I had
never thought of these things before, never heard of them before.
This was back in the late 60’s, where the focus of society was on
the Viet Nam war and the Hippies, with their free love and their
67
drug culture. I have to admit that I may have developed the whole
thing out of the Star Trek shows I had watched, but then, why?
Then again, where did the strange philosophy come from? I had
never thought of what Aranon had said a few moments ago, and
yet, it sure did make sense.
So, if I was somehow smart enough to think all this up, then
there must be a reason for doing it, and if I am dreaming this up,
then I wouldn’t harm myself with it, at least not with such a loving
philosophy guiding me through it at the hands of these incredible
characters I have dreamed up. So, if I am going to discover why I
created this fantasy, or why this incredible thing is happening to
me, I will need to utilize what is being made available to me,
either by my inner self, God, or by these benevolent beings,
willing to experience my pain with me, in order to help me to see
my way though it. Maybe even past it. If this truly is my deepest
desire, to understand and to help others to understand, then why
not just give in and learn about myself?
Aranon had been sitting quietly, allowing me my thoughts,
but now he shifted in his seat and said, “How would you like to
see Top Side?”
“I thought I was in quarantine,” I replied, excited by the
possibility that I might see a whole new world that was actually
created by beings like me. Well, maybe they were a lot more
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Kerry Dennis
advanced than me, but they were “People”.

“We took care of that with the examination.” He looked as if
he were waiting for an answer.
“Yes!” I said, jumping up. “Can we go now?”
“No, tomorrow, after you sleep.”
“Okay, so can I go to sleep now?”
“I was hoping that you might get acquainted The Meathos,”
he replied, getting up and joining me at the pool. “That is what the
organism in the pool calls itself.” He bent and moved his hand
through the solution.
“It talks?” I asked, feeling strangely uneasy.
“It communicates”, said Aranon, and pointed to the hole in
the back of his neck. This is called an interface in your language. I
received my interface when I became, as you would say, ordained
by the Universal Brotherhood. I have learned a great deal from
The Meathos since then.”
“Okay,” I said cocking my head in disbelief, “and what did it
tell you?”
“They taught me that all things are part of the Greater Plan,
no matter how difficult, no matter how challenging.” His face was
pensive, as he attempted to put into words, concepts and ideas
that he knew were alien to me. “They have taught me that life is
infinite, and that death is an illusion.”
69
“Oh yeah?” I quipped, “You seen Arlington Cemetery?”

“Have you ever driven an automobile?” He asked.
“Yeah, so?” I quipped again.
“When you stepped out of that vehicle, did your life
continue?”
“Well that’s debatable, but I guess so. What are you getting
at?”
“Your present body is merely a vehicle. What makes you
who you are just uses that body to obtain experience, to travel
through the physical plane, to communicate with others who are
also traveling on the physical plane. The most important purpose
for the utilization of a physical vehicle is to imbue matter with light
and love. Eventually, we learn to transcend the physical, while at
the same time choosing to utilize it, to assist in drawing all
conscious beings toward greater Enlightenment.”
I just stood there, stricken dumb by the sudden clash of my
religious upbringing with this simple explanation of life and death
that made so much more sense. Something in me made a
connection that day that changed the course of my life.
“Can I go to bed now?” I asked, feeling overwhelmed with all
of the thoughts and feelings going on within me that I didn’t
understand.
He chuckled, as though my request was a joke. “Why don’t
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Kerry Dennis
you climb into the pool and just sit down,” he said. “You don’t
have to submerge your head, just sit in the pool for a few minutes
and get acquainted with The Meathos.”
“Will they communicate with me too?”
“They might,” he smiled, his eyes twinkling, “or they might
just put you in touch with yourself.” He winked.
“Do I have to get undressed?”
“Nope, they can penetrate that material quite easily. You will
feel, at first, as though you are in warm water, but you will know
it’s not water.” He took my hand and led me over to sit on the
edge. “Just dangle your feet in. It doesn’t matter if you take off
your shoes or not.”
I took off my shoes, twirled around and dropped my bare feet
into the pool. I could see ripples, but there was no splashing, no
sound as I moved my feet back and forth in it. There was a light
drag to it, but not as much of a drag as water would have
produced. I swam a lot and I knew this was lighter than water. As
I let my feet come to rest, the substance began to glow around my
feet, like the heat of my feet was being translated into light by the
substance and radiated about an inch from my skin.
I edged off the side of the pool and let myself slowly drop
into the substance. The pool wasn’t very deep. I discovered that I
could attain a sitting position with my head and shoulders out of
71
the substance. Once I got situated, I looked down and saw a

blazing aura, all around the part of my body that was submerged.
It was blazing, like a fire, but the colors were different than fire.
The colors were blue, green and gold. It was hypnotizing.
“Is it communicating with me?” I asked, “Is that what all
these colors are for?”
“Well, I suppose The Meathos is getting to know you, feeling
you out, so to speak,” he replied, watching the colors as they
shifted and changed, “and they are telling me a few things about
you through signals that I have become accustomed to
interpreting.”
“Oh yeah?” I asked, “like what?”
“They say that you have a gentle spirit,” he said, watching
the changing display. “They say that you have a high level of
intelligence, and that you are very kind to species that are not like
you.”
“You mean, like I’m kind to animals?” I asked. “Well that’s
true. I like taking care of any creature that lets me.” I moved my
hands through the substance, imagining myself petting a little
creature that could feel I meant it no harm. Suddenly the
substance began to glow brightly around my hands, and I was
thinking that maybe Meathos was feeling this and responding to it.
I closed my eyes and started imagining that I was sending love
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Kerry Dennis
into the whole pool; I imagined myself embracing The Meathos,

as though it were a being that could feel my embrace. When I
opened my eyes, Aranon had a most astonished look on his face,
and as I looked around me, the whole pool glowed with the most
glorious violet pink, the color was beyond description, but the
sensation was electric! I can’t remember ever feeling such love
and acceptance. Everywhere The Meathos touched me, I felt
petted, hugged, protected, and cared for.
“Wow!” I exclaimed, looking back up at Aranon. “I think it
likes me!”
“Indeed,” he replied, still looking astonished, and then a soft
smile began to flow across his face. “I don’t believe I have ever
seen such a response on the first encounter.”
“Is that good?” I asked, feeling as though I had finally done
something right.
“Yes,” he said, “very good, and very unusual. You might do
well as a guide one day. You have an unusual capacity to
communicate your Light.”
“You know, I’m not scared anymore,” I said, thinking I
would like to feel more of The Meathos, because it was pleasant
as well as exciting. “Would it be okay for me to just go ahead and
lay down in the pool?”
“Well,” he said, hesitantly, his face clouding with
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apprehension, “Are you sure you want to do that?”

“Is there something you haven’t told me?”
“I think there are things we need to discuss.”
“Like what?”
“Do you want to remain there while we discuss things,” he
asked, “or would you like to come out, just for a little contrast? Do
you understand what I mean?”
“Yeah,” I said, “I guess.”
I was really not looking forward to getting out of the pool. It
was so comforting, so nurturing. I understood why he wanted me
to get out. He wanted to talk to me, not me and Meathos. I
reached up for his hand, and he assisted me in getting out. None
of The Meathos clung to me, like water would. My clothes
emerged from the pool dry, as did the rest of my body. Dry, and
yet somehow cleansed, my skin felt softer, and there was a
pleasant scent about me, like lilacs.
“How do you feel,” he asked, “now that you are out of the
pool?” He seated himself in his chair, and motioned for me to be
seated.
“Clean,” I replied, thinking about how I was feeling, in my
body, in my emotions. “And refreshed,” I added. I sat down and
leaned back in the chair, feeling much more relaxed than I had
since I arrived here. “And sleepy,” I said, closing my eyes.
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Kerry Dennis
Gosh, when was the last time I slept? Certainly not since
before I arrived here. The effects of the pool seemed to have had
a tranquilizing effect on me. I was actually starting to drift off when
Aranon’s voice tugged me out of my reverie.
“Would you like to rest?” he asked. “You have been awake
for an extended period of time.”
“I think I would like to sleep for a while,” I said, my eyelids
feeling heavy and my thoughts getting foggy.
“I think that would be a good idea, and when you awaken,
we can go Top Side, just for a change of pace.” He got out of his
chair, and I was aware of him moving toward me, but it was as if I
was drugged, and unable to respond, or even open up my eyes. I
wasn’t frightened, just so very tired.
I was aware of him picking me up, like a little child, and
carrying me to the bed. He pulled the covers back while cradling
me on the crook of his left arm, as though I were an infant he was
putting to bed. Then he laid me in the bed and put the cover over
me. He leaned down and whispered into my ear, just before he
left.
“You can visit Meathos in your dreams, you know,” he
whispered. “Dream with Meathos.” I heard him walk across the
room and leave.
Gently, I slipped into a soft and gentle place, filled with violet
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light and voices singing a soft, sweet melody. I felt so accepted,

so loved. And then an angel came and taught me how to fly and
together we visited Heaven.
I awoke with Aranon standing over me, gently shaking my

shoulder. “Oh Wow!” I said, sitting up like I had been startled.
“What happened?”
“You fell asleep,” he chuckled.
“No, after that!” I said excitedly. “I went somewhere,
somewhere beautiful. An angel took me.” My eyes were fixated on
the wall in front of me, but my minds eye was traveling above the
clouds and past the stars. Glimpses of what I had seen flashed in
my mind.
Aranon sat down on the bed. He was smiling. “So, you went
with The Meathos?” He asked. “I knew you would.” He gave a
short laugh and said, “You may not even need an interface to
work with Meathos.” He continued to grin.
“I went with Meathos?” I asked feeling excited. “I know I was
dreaming, but it seemed so real!”
“Tell me about it while you still remember,” he said. He
reached out and lightly touched my forehead, brushing my hair
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aside with his fingers and my thoughts cleared.

“An angel came to me,” I began, “she was very beautiful.”
“What did she look like?”
“She looked human, like you and me, but she was
surrounded by a sort’a mist-like stuff. She had long golden hair
and she could fly.”
“And did she give a name?”
“Yeah, Meestra.”
“Ah,” he mused, “I believe we have met. Did she teach you
to fly?”
“Yeah,” I said, “how’d you know?” I gave him a suspicious
glance and then continued. “Then we flew to this fantastic place,
like Heaven, where everyone we met just radiated love and joy. I
can’t remember everything, but I think that’s because I wasn’t
supposed to. I think I learned a whole lot of things, really fast, and
that I will remember them as I need too.”
“I think you are probably right,” he said, getting up. “Ready
for an excursion to Top Side?” He seemed like a little kid, leaving
for Disneyland.
“Can I eat first?” I asked, his excitement rubbing off on me.
“Shouldn’t I shower, change clothes, stuff like that. And by the
way, I still need a mirror.”
“You shouldn’t need to shower or change if you used the
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mister on the commode.”

“Ok,” I said, “but my hair is a mess, and I don’t have a comb
or a mirror.”
“All right,” he said with a gentle smile, “let’s take care of that
right now.” He went to the synthesizer and said, “Synthesize one
mirror, sticky-back, eight by ten.” A moment later it beeped and he
removed a mirror. “Put it anywhere you want it, just stick it to the
wall and it will stay.” He handed it to me and I took it into the
bathroom and pressed it to the wall. As I looked at myself, I was
astounded how shiny my hair was, how soft. But it did need
combing.
As I returned to the nutrition area, Aranon handed me a
comb. “Do you want to order your own breakfast?” He asked.
“Synthesizer,” I said, “I want two eggs, over easy; two slices
of bacon, crisp; hash browned potatoes, crispy, but not greasy;
and a 10 ounce mug of coffee with a tablespoon of honey stirred
into it; and I want it all on a tray that’s easy to carry.”
Aranon chuckled, at my order. “You’ve got this down, don’t
you?” He said.
“What do you mean?” I asked, opening the door and then
taking my tray to the table.
“You are very precise with the least amount of verbiage.
That is a very good talent. One day, that is going to help you a
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great deal.”
“When?” I asked, chomping on my bacon.
“I can’t give you a precise date,” he said, shaking his head.
Then he smiled broadly, “but I would venture to say that it will be
when you have dedicated yourself to helping others.” He winked.
“Why would that be?” I asked, still chewing hash browns and
eggs.
“Because at that time you will gain access to your greatest
potential.”
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Six
After I had finished my breakfast, Aranon took me on a long

trek through hexagonal hallways. He said we were going to the
jump-port, something like a train station, or a bus depot on earth.
We must have walked for miles, through the maze of hallways,
never seeing anyone.
“Where is everybody?” I asked.
“Okay, I admit it,” he said after a long silence. He gave me
what might be considered a sheepish look. “I asked to have the
hallways cleared for our passage.”
“Why? Am I still in quarantine?
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Kerry Dennis
“No, but I thought that we would be more comfortable on our

journey by having the hallways clear.”
“I don’t understand,” I said, “Why did you have the hallways
cleared, really?” I was feeling as though he were trying to keep
me from seeing something, from learning something. I began to
feel a little angry, and even a little frightened. “Why are you
keeping me separate from everyone?”
“I’m not, really, it’s just that this is a very busy place and
there are individuals here that come from racial origins that might
be somewhat startling to you.”
“No!” I stopped and stamped my foot. “I want to see the
other races! I want to prove to myself once and for all that this is
not a dream!” I was adamant.
“Okay,” he said, touching a stud on his belt, “but don’t say I
didn’t warn you.” He gave me a wink.
Within seconds the hallways filled with bustling people. We
were jostled and shoved along on the tide of moving bodies.
Aranon grabbed my hand, but then a small being that looked like
a really furry six-year-old child came out of a door and he or it
inadvertently split us up. Aranon had to jostle his way to me, as I
stood still in the moving throng. When he reached me, he picked
me up like a father picks up his toddler, and rested my behind on
his forearm so that I could take in the sights. Now my head was at
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his level, and not in a sea of legs punctuated by small, scurrying

things.
Most of the beings in the hallway were tall like Aranon, but
there were also lots of people who looked like they just got off a
plane from Road Island, or Ohio. They were just regular people.
Then there were the unusual little beings, about the size of a five
or six year old, only ape like, covered with fur and quite adept at
maneuvering within the sea of legs.
“Tell me about the furry ones,” I asked
“Their bodies are the genetic results of a harsher
environment than you or I had to survive in. They are very
intelligent, and they are also one of the most psychic races we
have yet to encounter. They have a natural capacity for
clairvoyance, clairaudience, psycho-kinesis, teleportation, and bi-
location.“
“Wow! I bet they had to develop those talents in order to
survive in that harsh environment, huh?” I asked.
“Very perceptive,” he responded, with a gentle smile. “The
more you reveal yourself to me, the more precious you become.”
He gave me a quick and gentle hug. “I will not shield you from
anything, anymore. That’s a promise.”
We had entered into a huge room, like Grand Central
Station, which I am only familiar with through movies. There were
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Kerry Dennis
levels above us, as we stood at the bottom of a gigantic well that

extended all the way to what appeared from the bottom to be blue
sky, with clouds.
“Is that the sky?” I asked, excited.
“Yes,” he replied, “but you are seeing it through a clear
dome, at the top of this hub.”
“Yeah, “ I said, “I guess you don’t want it raining down here,
you would have to start using gondolas.” I giggled at the strange
look he gave me.
“Ah,” he said, “flooding from rain water, I see. Well, just
recently it has become a community debate as to whether to open
the station to the atmosphere or not.”
“What’s your take on it?”
“My take?”
“The way you see it, “ I said. “How do you think it should
go?”
“That’s difficult to answer. There are pros and cons on both
sides of the proposal. I think if they decide to open the hubs to
the atmosphere, they should do it gradually. I think everyone
should be encouraged to spend time Top Side, getting used to the
atmosphere, and the shifts and changes that occur as the result
of weather systems. It’s not just the rain, for we can shelter the
hubs from precipitation. It is probably healthier to take on the
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rhythms of the planet on which you live, but being that there are a
myriad of other world races in residence here, those rhythms
could be difficult to get used to, as opposed to the controlled
conditions within the station.”
“Yes,” I said, “I can see what you mean.”
“You can?” He asked, bouncing me on his arm, as though I
was a little child. “I have been trying to communicate it to others in
the community for months with little success.”
“What are they, morons?”
“No,” he said, laughing, probably at the word I used. “Not at
all. They are all very intelligent, but when you have a group of
individuals of varying backgrounds, perceptions and paradigms,
all seeing the situation from their own positions, while unable to
relate to those of their neighbors, it is difficult to communicate a
simple idea.”
“So why not have your furry little psychic friends
communicate the idea to the others, each from their personal
perspective? You know, being psychic, they can interpret and
then maybe translate the thoughts and feelings of one group to
the thoughts and feelings of the other group, so that each can
connect with their neighbors on a gut level.”
I thought about this for a second and then shook my head.
“Well, maybe they could, but the truth is, I’m just talking to hear
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myself talk. I don’t know anything about the situation, or what the
furry guys can do.” I hung my head in shame, realizing I had been
trying to give advice to a being so much more evolved than
myself, that I had been stupid to think I had any insights of
importance.
“Actually, you gave me a couple of ideas.” He said. “Thank
you.”
He carried me toward a frame, like a doorframe, only
hexagonal, that stood on a raised platform in the center of the
hub. “We are about to go through the jump port,” he said, and I
could see throngs of people walking through the frame, but not
through the frame. There were people coming out the other side,
but not the same people who walked through from the other. I
couldn’t really see this until we got close enough, which tells you
how big this room was. As we approached the port I could see the
people ahead of us vanish, while another group suddenly
appeared on the other side.
“Oh my God!” I cried as we approached the frame. I hid my
face against his chest. There was a momentary sense of
prickliness, and then Aranon was chuckling again.
“I thought you wanted to see Top Side.” He said this while
still chuckling under his breath.
I looked around and recognized that we were now under a
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dome, and the suns shown brightly in the sky. Two suns! There
was no doubt in my mind now that I was on an alien planet! The
dome itself was like a city, and it was at least five miles across.
Aranon walked away from the jump frame, and toward what
looked like a regular sidewalk, on any city street, unless you
looked up that is. Once we reached the sidewalk, he put me
down.
“That was fun,” I said, smiling up at him.
“I’m glad you liked it,” He said, patting me on the head. I was
beginning to get a complex. There was no getting around the fact
that he made me feel like a small child. Then I thought about it
and realized that in a way I was a child to him. A somewhat
intelligent child, but a child from his point of view none the less.
“So this is Top Side,” I said, nonchalantly, trying to make
conversation.
“Part of it,” he replied, gently squeezing my shoulder with his
huge hand, “but not the newest part.” He guided me around a
corner and toward the edge of the dome nearest our position. “We
are actually going outside the dome. I have this feeling that you
would like to see the seashore.”
“Oh yes! Yes!” I said excitedly. “But I have this feeling we
should have worn back packs and canteens, because this is
going to be a very long walk.”
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Kerry Dennis
“Actually, no.” He gave me a sideways grin. “The longest

walk we will have to take is to the airlocks and back. Just outside
the airlock, we are picking up a vehicle.” He stressed the word
vehicle. I gave him a questioning look and he winked at me, and
then moved his eyebrows up and down like Tom Selleck in
Magnum PI. I laughed at his antics. He was being the perfect dad;
big, strong, handsome and his huge hand always in contact with
my shoulder or head, to maintain his supervisory position.
“So what kind of vehicles do you have here on Ancore?” I
asked, trying to ask intelligent, non-childlike questions.
“The most popular,” he replied, giving me an indulgent smile,
“is what the Earthers call a Tri-Car.”
“Why do they call it that?” I asked. I could see that we were
nearing the edge of the dome, and I could see a large door, that
appeared to be open. There were what appeared to be guards
standing on either side of the door.
“You’ll see.” He smiled again, and noticed that I was staring
at the guards. “Something bothering you?” He asked.
“I was wondering why you need guards on the doors when
you are such an enlightened people?”
“They are not guards, they are guides. They await those who
would like to hike into the mountains, or explore the wilds, see the
new animals that have been breeding for fifty years now. The
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folks here are not accustomed to leaving the dome except in

vehicles, on planed and protected roadways. They have been
protected for too long. We are now encouraging the populace to
take prolonged excursions, providing guides who are also part of
the wildlife production team, who know where specific breeds
reside. They take willing participants on tours where they can
picnic beside a brook, and watch deer graze, or they can climb a
mountain, camp for the night on the top and then climb down the
next day. We are reacquainting ourselves with nature.”
We had reached the gate. Aranon nodded to the guides
flanking the doorway and we walked passed them and out into the
hot sun! Jeeze, I forgot how hot it got out in the sun!
Aranon continued on toward what looked like a standard
flying saucer, right out of an Atomic Comic. It was somewhat oval
shaped and hovered just above the hard packed dirt. It shone like
a gem in the sun, and was a metallic pearl color, but even in the
sun it had a bluish glow around it like a halo. As we approached it,
I could see that there were no doors or windows, and as I
followed him around the object, it appeared to be one solid thing,
no seams, and no rivets, just the smooth, lustrous surface.
Aranon stopped in his circuitous inspection and waved his hand
and a door appeared and steps extended to the ground.
“Ladies first,” he said, waving his arm in a flourish toward the
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Kerry Dennis
steps.
The steps were really large, but I managed to ascend them
with a little help from Aranon. The ship was larger on the inside
than it appeared to be on the outside. I know that sounds strange,
but there was no denying that there was more space inside the
vehicle than I could account for in our journey around it. For one
thing, it didn’t look big enough for Aranon, and yet when he
entered the cabin, there was more than enough headroom for
him.
“How can it be bigger inside than it is outside?” I asked,
looking around me in awe. There were bunks, and a nutrition
center, a control center and a personal care center, all in
compartments built around the periphery of the ship. In the center
was a circular pedestal, the top of which was flat and glowed a
blue green that lit up the cabin.
“Because space is relative, just like time,” he said. “The
organism that makes up the ship, has it’s own space-time
affinities, which often differ from it’s outer projections.”
“Yeah, right.” I walked around inside the central cabin,
looking into the compartments, and then moved toward the
pedestal in the central cabin. As I approached it I could see that
there was some sort of light above it, shining down on it and
maybe what made it glow. “What’s this for?”
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“That’s part of the guidance system. It’s a three dimensional,

positional map projector.”
“Okay,” I said looking him in the eye, “but what is that?”
“Yes,” he replied, his look said he was doing some quick
thinking. “I think it would be best just to show you,” he chuckled.
He waved his hand over some lights on the side of the
pedestal and suddenly a hologram formed between the flat
surface of the pedestal and the light above it. I walked around it to
see the whole thing. There were blue lines, and red lines, and
graphics that I didn’t understand in green and yellow and white.
“This white spot here, with the blue outline is the tri-car.”
Aranon pointed to the white spot. “Beneath that,” he drew his
finger down to the graphic in green, “is Ancore. Now, watch the
display as I move the vehicle up about a thousand feet.” He went
to the control center, waved his hands and touched his fingers to
squares of light, and the door we had used to enter the craft
disappeared. “Ok, watch the spot.”
I looked at the hologram and then even before my eye could
register it, it had moved. “It moved,” I said, “but I didn’t feel
anything. In fact it moved so fast that if that was us, why aren’t we
flattened on the floor?”
“Remember, the space within the ship is at a different space-
time coordinate.” He waved his hand and the wall in front of the
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Kerry Dennis
control center became a window. “Come on over here and take a

good look,” he smiled and waved at one of the seats in front of the
control panel.
I walked over to the control center and peered out the
window. “Am I really seeing this, or is this some sort of projection
too?” Damned good projection though. I could see the clouds
moving in the sky, trees and mountains further ahead, and off to
the side, a lake with boats on it. I was transfixed by the beauty of
the scene.
“This is what is visible from the skin of the ship,” replied
Aranon. “Remember, it is an organism, and it sees with all of
itself, and when requested, will show what it sees, from any
position on the ship. I usually have it show me right here, because
this is sort of the pilots seat,” he grinned. “Would you like to see
the stars?”
“Sure!” I said, taking the seat beside him. Even before I got
situated, we were already far above the planets atmosphere. I
could see the curve of the planet on a background of black velvet
strewn with a billion glowing gems. I could see weather systems
forming whirls on the planet below. I could see seas and
continents, nothing like Earth. If I was making this all up, then it
sure was an intricate fantasy.
“Why am I here?” I asked, feeling unworthy of such a vision.
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“Ah,” chuckled Aranon, “the question for all times, all ages.”
“No,” I interjected, “why am I here, at Ancore?”
“I suppose because you were a known entity, and because
you showed up on one of our scans appearing to be in danger of
dispersing the atoms within your material vehicle.”
“I don’t see how that could be,” I argued, “I was only
meditating. I know my teacher would never give me a meditation
that would cause me harm.” I drew a long face and felt tears
welling up in my eyes. I knew Marty wouldn’t harm me. I couldn’t
believe that he would ever give me a meditation that would cause
my body to disperse.
“Maybe your teacher was unaware of your unique talents,”
he replied gently, touching my knee and giving me an
understanding smile.
I shook my head, and tried to imagine what talent I might
have that could have caused this situation. I just couldn’t imagine
myself having the ability to scatter my atoms all over the universe
even if that could, in the farthest reaches of the imagination, be a
talent.
“How could being able to scatter my atoms all over the
universe be a talent?”
“The talent is not the capacity to scatter your atoms but
rather in the capacity to relocate your physical vehicle without the
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use of outside assistance. The fact that you were unschooled in

the use of this talent is what caused your precarious situation.
Because of our previous contact with you, we were placed in the
position of either taking responsibility for you or allowing you to
disperse yourself and end your present life. We chose to take
responsibility. I think it had something to do with the color of your
light.”
“I just read this book called All The Colors Of Darkness by
Lloyd Biggle, Jr. In this book, people from other planets belonged
to some sort of federation, but only if the color of their light or
darkness was right. Earth had the wrong color of darkness. Is that
what you are telling me, that you only help those with the right
colors?”
Aranon looked at me, seemingly searching deep within
himself for a reply. It was the first time that I felt a sense of
uncertainty coming from him. “I know that this will be difficult for
you to understand, but unless the consciousness of an individual
is sufficiently mature, it is impossible to communicate certain
basic concepts that must be embraced by the individual in order
for an acceleration in growth to occur. Can you teach an infant to
drive a car?”
“Maybe,” I responded, if you take into consideration the
necessity to accommodate it’s size and it’s physical limitations.
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Babies have been taught to do some very interesting things

through the use of their strongest talent, suckling.” I knew this
because I had recently read an article on a study, using infants, in
a magazine in a doctor’s office.
“Okay,” he said, and I could see the wheels turning in his
large head. “But there are certain things, you will agree, that
babies can’t do, because they have not matured enough to do
those things yet.” He cocked his head and awaited my response.
“Sure,” I said, feeing agitated at the direction he seemed to
be going. “But I wouldn’t let a baby drown, simply because it
hadn’t learned to swim.”
“Yes, and neither would we. What we look for is the color of
your potential, not the color of your present development. Your
potential is developed as the result of your past experience, your
choices, your developmental direction.” He paused and looked at
me, the wheels still turning. “Do you believe that there is such
thing as evil?” He asked.
“I don’t, but I know a lot of people do.”
“Tell me, why is it that you do not believe in evil?”
“Okay,” I said, thoughts and perceptions racing through my
mind. “From the religious point of view, if God created everything,
out of Himself, then everything is good, because God is good.
This is just basic logic. Again, from the scientific viewpoint, the
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physical universe is defined by its bi-polar nature, but the only

difference between the poles is their aversion to one another.
Neither pole is better, or more necessary. They are both of equal
importance. From this I deduced that evil is a fantasy developed
by some to control the many. It took me a while to get there, and
yes, the voices in the tunnel assisted me in realizing this truth in
my life. So, I guess you are responsible for my belief system.”
“And there are others,” he interjected, “who are not yet at
that point, but we can see that with a little guidance, they could
be. We save those. We have populated three planets with them.”
“Really?”
“You bet!” He said, winking at me in that sly way.
“So, you saved me because you knew I had potential?”
“There ya go!” He said, mimicking Marshal Sam McCloud of
late 70’s TV fame. I can see this in retrospect, although at the
time I just thought he sounded hokie. Again, I shook my head and
wondered about that meditation.
“But that still doesn’t tell me why my teacher gave me that
meditation.”
“Tell me about your teacher,” he said, with a gentle smile.
“He taught Modern Occultism,” I said. “Not Cultism, that’s
something else. The word occult means that which is hidden.
After my experiences with the voices in the tunnel, I was looking
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for other individuals who embraced like concepts. Occultism, also

known as Metaphysics, embraces any and all philosophies that
free individuals from destructive or self-defeating thoughts and
beliefs. That’s why I went there. I needed answers, and I got a
few too.”
“What answers did you get?”
“Why we are here, what the bottom line is.”
“Tell me, why are we here?” He asked, leaning back in his
chair.
“To help one another discover our truth.”
He looked me in the eye and smiled broadly and said, “Very
good! I like that. It’s simple and yet right to the point. Okay, and
what is the bottom line?”
“If God is Love, and everything came from God, then all
things, even the things we don’t like or don’t understand, are
Love. Love is the bottom line, Love and compassion. There is no
more attractive force in the universe than Love. That is what he
taught me. He also taught me that if you like something, or want
something in your life, feed it with your love and it will blossom
and fill your life with joy. If you don’t like something, or don’t want
something in your life, don’t feed it with, even your attention, and
it will die of starvation. Love is the force that draws us up, into
greater understanding, and greater joy. Love is the bottom line. If
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you can’t find that, you can’t get free of self-defeating thoughts
and behaviors.”
“Tell me, did you tell this teacher of your experiences with
the voices in the tunnel?” Asked Aranon, and the look on his face
was like none I had ever seen at that time, but today, I would
almost say, it was like he had seen a ghost.
“Yeah,” I replied, curious about his unusual look.
“Ah,” he said, it was like he had made a discovery. “And
what was his reaction?”
“He said, that when I understood what I was told, he hoped I
would use it appropriately.”
“And his name was?”
“Martin Cutler,” I said, “but we all called him Master Marty.
It’s a long story.”
“Uh huh,” he said, his gaze off in never, never land. “He may
very well be one of ours.”
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Seven
I finally started to put things together. If Marty was one of

their transplants, it sure answered a lot of questions. Marty was
good to me. He gave me flute lessons; he made a whole library of
books available to me about shifting your consciousness, about
the workers in the light; he invited me and four other individuals to
dinner every Saturday night, after which we would have a class
based on the book “Treatise On Cosmic Fire” by Alice Bailey. He
must have had a lot of faith in me, or The Brotherhood, to give me
a meditation that could send me in a billion directions. Suddenly, I
began to feel as though I belonged here, as though I had actually
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been given a gift.

“How many other planets have you made?” I asked, finally
remembering that he was there.
He smiled and gave a chuckle. “I see you are ready to talk
about something else,”
“Yeah, well, if Marty sent me here, he must have had a
reason, and I trust him, so I guess I’ll trust you too. I figure I may
as well learn something and have a little fun.” I grinned at him, like
a child aping in a mirror, tilting my head one way and then the
other and he laughed out loud until his eyes became teary.
“Twenty eight,” he said, still recovering from his laughter.
“We have terra-formed twenty eight planets, and out of that
number twelve are habitable to Earthers. Five are training
colonies and seven are, well, social experiments.”
“What kind of social experiments? Are they harming people?
I read about some of the experiments the Government has done
on people, and what they did was despicable!” I was angry that
they were experimenting on people.
“It’s nothing like that. We have encouraged those people to
be themselves, to enjoy their lives, and to make whatever choices
they decide upon. I guess the experiment part has more to do
with our observation of certain mind sets in everyday practice. We
only observe, we do not interfere.” His statement sounded a little
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canned to me.
“Oh yeah,” I said, feeling a little heated by my emotions. “So
what do you do, just observe them killing one another?”
“If that is their choice.” He looked right into my eyes, as if to
say, there is more to this than you understand.
“Why?” I asked. “Why do you do this?”
“To understand Earthers, to assist Earth in developing
stronger societies. By studying the microcosm, we gain insight
into the macrocosm. When we can see the details, we can see
the whole picture more clearly. We want to understand what
drives specific ethnic societies, what part religion plays in the
development of the society, how certain mindsets determine the
development of political and religious systems. We want to know
what is detrimental to a peaceful society and what encourages
brotherhood. We want to have our facts straight before we train
our emissaries and return them to your planet. We want to send
them back with tools that work.”
“All this, just to help Earth? Why?” I asked.
“Because Earthers have something unique that would be of
great benefit to the Universal Brotherhood. Earthers hold the key
to making a connection with those races, those planets that work
in opposition to the Light. On your planet there was a seeding of
races from outlaw planets. To be specific, in the beginning, your
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planet was a penal colony.

“It didn’t start off that way. At first, it was just an interesting
place to study as it had developed a wealth of life forms. Our
predecessors knew, that eventually it would develop sentient life,
so they sent a team to identify the species that would usher in that
miracle. Unfortunately, the team’s head biologist got carried away
and began experimenting with the different species, attempting to
see which one was the most likely to develop that capacity for
sentient thought. He imposed his own genes and the genes of his
crew members upon species that were not suited to sentience, as
well as upon the simian species, the most promising of the
species on Earth. As the result he created a sentient race before
it was time for that race to evolve.
“Because of this, he and his team were convicted of racial
tampering and sentenced to live that and all their future lives
bound to the planet Earth, their karma now bound, inexorably, to
this developing race and it’s evolution. For a time, other
lawbreakers were also abandoned on Earth, but that stopped
when it was recognized that this practice was also interfering with
the planets native species’ natural evolution. We were all evolving
in our sense of social responsibility at that time.”
“And just how long ago was this?” I asked.
“Your time? Oh roughly seven, eight million years ago,”
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“So, there was really life on earth before our so called

human race evolved?”
“Yes,” he answered, “but once it was voted to discontinue
their supply of specialized equipment and food and let them fend
for themselves they eventually de-evolved and were almost
completely wiped out during your last ice age. Nevertheless,
enough of the genetics from those transplanted races, from
different planetary systems, survived to generate the five basic
races that exist on earth today. This is why we have watched your
planet for many millenniums and this is why we have a vested
interest in redeeming the fruits of this past disaster. Within every
failure lie the seeds of success.”
“Hmm” I said, thinking about all the racial unrest and all of
the fighting and the war that was now raging in Vietnam. “So you
are trying to understand why we can’t get along?” I asked.
“We are fairly certain why your planet’s many races have
difficulty finding the common ground upon which to develop a
system of planetary cooperation.”
I waited for him to go on, and when he didn’t I asked, “Ok,
why?”
“That is not a simple answer,” he said. “Would you like to
see the bottom of the ocean?”
“You are pretty good at changing the subject too,” I replied.
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“Are you saying you don’t wan’a tell me?”

“No, but I thought you would like a change of scenery,
something interesting to look at while I try to explain.”
“Ok.” I had barely said it when we dove toward the planet at
what looked like a million miles an hour. In spite of the planet
swelling rapidly on the transparent wall before us, there was no
sensation of motion. “Are you sure we are seeing what really is
happening?” I asked.
“Yes,” he said. The ocean rushed toward us at an
unbelievable speed and my heart began to pound in my throat
and I was aware of the fact that I was making a groaning sound.
As we hit the water I instinctively ducked, and Aranon chuckled.
“I’ve always wanted to do that,” he said.
When I was recovered enough to look we were moving
through the water at a more prudent speed, as fish darted to
avoid our passage. “Gosh!” I said, still panting with fear, “that was
scary as hell!”
“From what I have heard about Hell,” he replied, grinning,
“Hell is a whole lot scarier.” He leaned back in his chair but
continued to look at me with that shit eatin’ grin on his face.
“What?” I asked, feeling like some joke had been played on
me and I just hadn’t gotten it.
“I suppose I should apologize,” he said, his countenance
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sobering. “You were never really in any danger.” He reached out

and patted my knee. “Shall we continue our discussion?”
“Actually,” I said. “Sometimes I like to be scared. It’s like a
challenge, you know?” I searched his face for some
understanding and when I didn’t see it I continued. “It’s like, I can
walk through this scary thing, even if it isn’t really gonna harm me;
and when I do, I feel as though I have become stronger, more in
control of my being.”
“Ahhh,” he said, placing his palms together, his face taking
on a pensive look. After a few seconds he leaned forward as
though he finally understood. “It’s why many people on your
planet like to go to scary movies, or go to amusement parks and
ride frightening rides!”
“Yeah,” I replied, smiling. “That’s it!”
“Yes,” he said, flashing a knowing smile. “I have experienced
this myself. It also accompanies experiences that provide a real
danger. It is a glandular function that prepares the body for action.
Once you are in a position of safety, your glands secrete another
hormone which produces a sense of euphoria.”
“Are you saying it’s just a physical thing?” I asked, feeling
cheated out of what I thought were real experiences.
“Nothing is just physical, or just emotional, or even just
mental. Learning to conquer fear, through the use of vicarious
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experiences is a valid tool. We learn about other societies by

studying them from a distance first. We make important decisions
based upon our sense of control, and this control can be learned
vicariously through study and second hand experience, be that
the teachers experience, or an authors experience, or an audio-
visual experience. Some like the experience of being frightened,
not just because it eventually produces hormones that make them
feel invincible, but also because it strengthens one’s sense of self,
as well as one’s sense of control.”
“Ok,” I said. “So why can’t the people on my planet get
along?”
“Ah hah!” He said, smiling gently. “Well, it’s a long story, but
part of it has to do with those hormones of yours and the need to
be in control. This was a gift from the simian race that was utilized
to evolve sentience on your planet. Not that other races in the
universe don’t have this psychophysical component, but most
don’t have it to the degree that your planet’s races do. The ones
that do are difficult to work with, which is why we are spending so
much time and energy assisting the people of your planet in their
psychophysical evolution.”
“But I thought it was against some sort of law to interfere,” I
said.
“Well, I guess that is open to interpretation. There is no law that
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says we cannot interact if there is a possibility that the planet’s

society will cause harm to neighboring planetary societies, and we
can prevent a future disaster through minimal contact.”
“How can you know what is going to happen?” I asked
“Lets just say that we have the capacity to scan not only
space, but time as well.”
“So what does Earth do in the future that would cause
problems for neighboring inhabited planets?”
“I don’t exactly know,” he said, shaking his head, “but it is
thought that one of your societies developed some sort of
explosive device that caused a chain reaction in your solar
system which, in turn, caused a space time rift.
“You mean like a black hole?”
“Not exactly, but nevertheless devastating to what you call
the Milky Way.”
“Wow! I sure am glad you decided to help us.”
“Actually, our goal is to assist you in helping yourself.” He
winked.
“So, let me get this straight, the way we developed, this
psycho-something component, was the result of those
experiments done like eight million years ago?”
“In essence, yes,” he replied. “Of course there is more to it
than that. It is also because your planet was used as a penal
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Kerry Dennis
colony, and the fact that the original research team was provided
with specialized equipment and supplies for a time, which were
abused by that team because they had nothing to loose. The
scientists of the team thought that they could control the weather,
but wound up destabilizing the planets poles, which finally
resulted in a polar shift and then an ice age.
“Because the penal colonies were situated at great
geographical distance from one another, each from a different
planetary and racial base, they were like micro societies of their
planets of origin. Then, each of the colonies had to fend for itself
during the great tribulations of the polar shift, which caused
incredible storms, floods and finally an ice age. As the result of
this, the colonists, and finally the research team and their
descendants were forced to mate with Earth’s native developing
race, forming new races. What came of this was the development
of seven root races, each containing the genetics, the social
traditions and the spiritual focus of their native race plus many of
the attributes of the varied races that were sent to Earth as
prisoners, as well as the abandoned scientists.
“The scientists held their culture the longest, maintaining a
high level of social and educational development. They had the
capacity to survive the ice age, and were well on their way to
taking complete control of the planet Earth. They were making
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great technological advances but there was a schism in their

society between those who accepted their physical and spiritual
destiny, and those who felt betrayed by the Universal Federation
of Interplanetary Societies. The penal colonies had, by this time
degenerated into savages, and the Enlightened Ones, the
scientific culture that managed to maintain and even generate
new and better mechanisms for controlling their environment had
moved to a continent that no longer exists. Of course they
interacted, from time to time, more near the time of their demise,
and had created a few monuments to their expertise on other
continents.
“Finally, a few centuries after the schism that split the culture
of the Enlightened Ones, there was a great war. The spiritually
oriented group immigrated to a place known in your geography
today as the Gobi Desert. Back then it was not a desert, but
rather a beautiful garden that stretched for thousands of miles.
The war destroyed both cultures completely, which is why there
are only five discernable races on your world in your time. The
Gobi became a desert and the continent of Atlantis was totally
submerged. The races that survived, the descendants of the
penal colonies, were far flung and managed to maintain some of
their social and racial heritage in spite of their incorporation into
native races. It is the spiritual and ethnic mindsets of these
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individual racial core groups that finally developed into the

nationalism that generates the basis for the struggles for world
domination that plague your planet in your time.”
“Let me ask you something,” I said, my mind going a million
miles per hour.
“Sure, but I can’t guarantee that I have the answer.”
“OK,” I replied. “Can you tell me which race is indigenous to
Earth?”
“Hum,” he said, leaning back and placing his palms together,
thinking. “I guess if any race could be said to be closest to the
indigenous race of the planet it would be the one you call the
Negroid race. Their genetic structure is the closest to the samples
we have of the original developing race at the time of our first
encounters.”
“Golly,” I said, thinking about all the racial unrest and the
terrible persecution of the blacks, for so long, in my own country.
“There would be a whole lot of noses out of joint if that could be
proven to my people. Just think, while racists shout that the
blacks should be sent back where they came from, the real truth
is that the Earth was originally theirs, and those of us who are not
black are, although maybe remotely, the real interlopers. What a
kick in the pants!”
Aranon Laughed. “Yes, I guess that could be one
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interpretation,” he said. “Nevertheless, because of the many

millenniums of inbreeding, all who reside on your planet are
genetically related and are by default indigenous to your planet.
Still, their ancient heritage does include the genes and the social
traditions from seven other planetary races. This is what gets in
the way of your planet’s capacity to form a world government, or
to accomplish complete social integration.
“You see, most planets arrive at the development of a
singular planetary government, because most planets have
societies that developed from a single race. “Your planet is
special in this regard. It has many races, and those races are
derived from many of the planets that are now part of the
Universal Brotherhood. In truth, your planet has been an
experimental research project since the dawn of it’s sentience.
Our involvement, The Universal Brotherhood’s involvement is
relatively new in the scheme of things, and our only desire is to
unite all of Earth’s races in the spirit of commonality, and to raise
the mean consciousness to the point where that commonality will
not only be based upon genetics but upon the essence of each
race’s spiritual connection to all of life.”
“Ok,” I said, feeling the fire of his convictions. “So what can I
do to help?”
“You can discover the origins of your perceptual distortions
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Kerry Dennis
and come to terms with them, thus releasing yourself to become

that which you are genetically, emotionally and spiritually capable
of becoming.”
“Ok,” I said, feeling frustrated by terms I didn’t understand.
“What do I have to do to do this?”
“You need to be willing to face the pain, the
misunderstandings and the fear that has held those distortions in
place, and then rebuild your thinking, your emotional response
systems, and the pattern of your life so that you can assist in not
only saving your world, but many others as well.”
Upon hearing this, I took in a deep breath and released it as
a deep sigh. “It’s gonna hurt, isn’t it?” I asked, feeling scared and
apprehensive.
“Yes,” he said, touching my knee and giving me a sad but
caring smile. “But I will be there with you, feeling the pain and the
fear with you and helping you to see the truth that underlies those
experiences.”
“I’m afraid,” I said, as tears flooded my eyes.
“The Meathos will protect you,” he said, gently,
encouragingly. “The Meathos has connected with you, and that is
rare. You’re special. Meathos told me this. I know that you can do
this. You will have a lot of help. Trust us, we really do care.”
Ok,” I said, but my fear didn’t go away.
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Eight
I gazed out the portal for some time, watching schools of fish
darting back and forth. It appeared that we had come to a dead
stop. The water was a deep green and filled with life in a myriad
of forms. Everything glowed with it’s own light. I was amazed by
the florescent colors of an eel, as it flowed lazily by. Obviously,
the ship did not represent a threat to the life around us.
“So,” I said, breaking a long silence. “You still haven’t shown
me why they call this little ship a tri-car.”
“Ah, yes.” He gave me a big grin and a wink. “Are you ready
for another scary ride?” I swear he was licking his chops. I guess I
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brought out the little boy in him because his countenance was one
of mischievousness as he tapped the buttons that programmed
the guidance system.
“Ok,” I said, leaning back in my seat. “I’m ready.” I gripped
the sides of the chair and set my gaze on portal. Aranon Laughed
and patted my knee.
“Don’t worry, we’ll survive it,” he said, grinning broadly.
Suddenly, we rose from the water and in a second we were
far enough from the planet to see it’s entire disk. Then, the ship
turned and we were headed for a small moon. As we approached
it I could see that it was a lifeless barren chunk of rock. I could
see craters and jagged crags. Soon it became apparent that we
were headed straight for the hollowed out center of a crater. As it
drew closer and closer, my heart began to pound in my throat and
beads of sweat began to pop out of my face. Just before impact a
low growl escaped my mouth and I threw my arms up to protect
my head.
After a few seconds, when there was no discernable impact,
I lowered my arms and looked out the portal. Everything was
black, including the ship, with the exception of the hologram map,
which showed us smack dab in the middle of the moon. I looked
back out the portal but could see nothing. Then, Aranon turned on
the cabin lights and I could see veins and striations through the
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portal. We were actually traveling through solid rock! Then

suddenly we were looking at the stars once again.
“Wow!” I said, letting my breath out and realizing that I had
been holding it all that time. “So it goes through air, water and
solid rock, right?”
“No, it goes through substance, vacuum and one more
aspect of physical reality. Can you guess what that might be?”
“I take it we haven’t done that one yet.”
“Correct.”
“Hmm,” I said, thinking. What was it the voices in the tunnel
kept referring to? Einstein’s theory of relativity, E=MC2. Now, what
did that mean? Lets see, E is for energy, M is for mater, and C is
for the speed of light. No, that didn’t tell me anything. What else
was there besides mater and vacuum? “Shoot, I can’t figure it out.
What else is there?”
“Time, my friend, time.”
“Really?” Well, I had been partly correct, as Einstein’s
Theory of Relativity is about space-time. I smiled to myself.
“Yes,” he replied nodding and smiling as well.
“So, we could go back in Earth’s time and see what really
happened?”
“We could,” he said, with a hesitance in his voice, “but I think
that we will save that for next time.”
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“So we have to go back now?”

“Yes,” he said, his face reflecting my disappointment. “But I
promise that this will not be the only excursion we take. There will
be time.”
“Time for you and time for me, and time yet for a hundred
indecisions, and for a hundred visions and revisions, before the
taking of a toast and tea.”
“Ah hah!” He said, smiling, “T. S. Elliot, The Love Song Of J.
Alfred Prufrock, very applicable. I can understand why that
particular poem has significance for you.”
“Oh yeah?” I asked. “Why is that?” He was right though; I
found a personal connection in that specific poem, even though
I’m a girl.
“I should think your favorite line is; I should have been a pair
of ragged claws scuttling across the floors of silent seas.” He
smiled knowingly.
“Maybe, or maybe it is the line; for I have known them all already,
known them all: Have known the evenings, mornings, afternoons,
I have measured out my life with coffee spoons…”
“I’m certain that much of that poem has deep significance for
you. I know that you have experienced great personal trauma in
your life and that you have felt lost and shattered as the result that
trauma. Let us help you with that. Let us help you to release
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yourself from your past.”

“If you can do that, I would be very glad. I’m just not sure
anything or anyone can do that,” I replied, sullenly.
“But maybe we can. Maybe we can with the help of The
Meathos. Will you trust me, and trust The Meathos?”
“I like The Meathos,” I said, brightening. “I feel safe with it.”
“Good,” he replied, “that is most important.”
I looked out the portal and realized that we were back,
parked near the dome, not far from the gate. Aranon got up from
his seat and I followed him. He opened the door and extended the
stairs and then helped me down. We walked across the desert-
like landscape to the gate, while the sun’s heat beat down on us.
We walked passed a guide and he nodded at Aranon.
“Shall I clear our path, or do you want to mingle with the
masses?” He asked, once we were past the guide.
“Doesn’t that interrupt other people’s lives?” I asked.
“We are all here to facilitate the development of others. Our
first priority is the comfort of those we serve.”
“But everything those other people are doing then is to help
others, right?”
“True,” he replied, smiling down at me.
“Then pick me up and lets just wade through all those people
busy with important things.” I smiled and then winked at him.
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Kerry Dennis
He turned me around and picked me up around my waist

and placed me on his shoulders. “Comfortable?” He asked.
“Yep,” I giggled, grabbing the sides of his head and feeling
like a kid at a picnic.
He started down the sidewalk, his strides long and ambling.
Within minutes I saw the gate, and after requesting his
destination, we walked through, and I wasn’t even scared. It was
like walking through a doorway. Soon we were navigating through
crowded hexagonal hallways. Suddenly, he stopped and waved
his hand across a light in the wall and a door opened. I think we
were back in my room, but how can I be sure? Maybe there were
hundreds of rooms just like mine.
He put me down and smiled as he closed the door. “Are you
hungry?” He asked.
“I guess,” I said, feeling as though something overwhelming
was about to happen soon, and feeling braced inside as though
there was to be some sort of physical impact.
“What would you like?” He asked, stepping in front of the
food synthesizer, and awaiting my response.
“You choose,” I said, withdrawing within myself, as I have
done so often when feeling frightened.
Instead of speaking to the machine, Aranon pressed a few
buttons and then when the beep sounded, removed a steaming
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plate of food and the utensils to eat it with. He set everything on

the table and motioned for me to sit.
I sat and looked at the plate of food. It was noting I could
identify, but it smelled good so I ate it, silently. About half way
through the meal, Aranon sat down across from me and asked
what I thought of the meal.
“It’s ok,” I said, feeling dissociated from just about
everything. I can say that it wasn’t repulsive, but I was eating
because I felt I should, not because I was interested in the food.
“You seem to be rather withdrawn,” he remarked. “Can you
tell me why?”
“I get feelings, I said, “I don’t know where they come from,
but sometimes I get this feeling like something terrible is about to
happen, and I get all tense inside, and then I just start shutting
down, I don’t know why.”
“We don’t have to start our work right away, if you are feeling
frightened,” he said, softly. His face showed deep concern.
“No,” I replied, “if you could help me with all these feelings I
have, that would be a good thing. Obviously I can’t help myself. At
least I am not doing crazy stuff like I usually do when I am
scared.”
“Like what?” He asked.
“Like screaming and crying and being really crazy, or just
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falling on the floor and rolling into a little ball. I do stuff like that,
too. I don’t seem to have much control over how I act when I am
scared or under a lot of stress.”
“I see,” he said, reaching for my hand and taking it in his. His
large hand enveloped my small hand, and again I felt like a small
child. I felt overpowered by him at that moment, as though he
were trying to control me. Something in me snapped and I pulled
my hand away and pushed away from the table, moving to the
other side of the room, inching toward the pool where Meathos
resided. He didn’t move from the table. He sat quietly, watching
me, avoiding any threatening moves.
I sat down next to the pool and slowly sank my hand into the
pool, seeking the comfort of Meathos. As I did this, a sense of
calm flowed through me. I could feel The Meathos calling to me. I
could feel the love as it flowed into my hand and I relaxed. Slowly
I moved into the pool. As I did so I could see Aranon move toward
his special chair and plugging into the interface that would
connect him to The Meathos.
I remember submerging myself in the pool, and that first few
moments of panic, as The Meathos flowed into my nose and my
ears, and I was choking but couldn’t sit up and get a breath of air.
“Just relax, Christy, don’t fight it,” said Aranon’s voice,
calmly, softly. “Let The Meathos take care of you.”
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I relaxed, slowly, as The Meathos spoke to me, gently,

lovingly, telling me that I was safe; telling me that it would care for
my body. As I relaxed, I was transported to a beautiful garden
filled with fragrant flowers. An angel appeared before me, as I
walked among the flowers, feeling safe, feeling loved.
“You are safe here,” the angel said. “We will take care of
you. Let us be your guide, and your protectors. What you will
experience is from the past. It happened, but is not happening
now. At this moment you are safe. Trust us to keep you safe as
you travel back, to the beginning point of your autonomous
physical existence in this physical form. What you will see, what
you will experience will be what truly happened, but it is not
happening now.”
Suddenly, I was caught in a web of fluid and substance that
felt immediately familiar and yet strange. I heard voices. One
voice was very loud and insistent.
“Please!” Cried the voice, “Help me!”
I was in pain! I felt as though a vice was being tightened
around my head! I cried out, and I heard Aranon’s voice.
“You are approaching the time of your physical birth,” said
Aranon. “This is a very painful time. Now you know that your
physical birth was a painful one. It should only last a few minutes,
but I will be here for you, with you, feeling what you are feeling.
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You are not alone.”

But the time seemed to stretch on forever, and the pain was
unbearable. The voices were saying; “I’m sorry Mrs. Milner, but
the doctor is unavailable. I know this is terribly hard for you, but
we have to hold the baby back until the doctor gets here.” Then I
felt a pressure on the top of my head, and then the vice was back,
crushing my head and pushing on my entire body. I tried to
scream, but couldn’t.
“Do you know what is happening?” Asked Aranon. “Are you
aware that your birth is being forestalled?”
“It hurts!” I said, in my mind, my whole system rebelling
against the unbelievable pressure on my entire body.
“Yes, but it is just physical pain,” he replied. “Let The
Meathos comfort you. Go to the angel in the garden.”
I forced my mind to seek out that garden, and to make
contact once again with the angel. She appeared before me,
amidst the roses and the poppies. She reached out to me with
both hands.
“Take my hands,” she said, her face a vision of empathy,
“and I will release you from the pain.”
I took her hands and the pain subsided and then
disappeared. “Thank you!” I said to the angel, as she held my
hands, pulling the pain from me.
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“This was a very difficult birth,” said Aranon, from a distance.

“Your mother suffered terribly too.”
“Why?” I asked. “I am ready to come, but they keep pushing
me back.”
“Yes,” he replied, sadly. “It is unfortunate, but that appears to
be what is happening. Did your mother tell you about this?”
“Yes,” I replied, feeing safe, feeling protected by the angel of
The Meathos. The memory of my mother telling me about my
birth became clear in my mind. “The nurses couldn’t allow a birth
to occur without the presence of a doctor. All the doctors were
busy. Yesterday the war was declared over, and lots of moms are
giving birth, excited that their husbands will be coming home.”
“I see, and so they make your mother wait for a doctor. How
awful! How cruel!” His voice was filled with caring and pain. “Your
start in life was an abnormally painful experience for you and your
mother. How she may have resented you for the first few days of
your life. Such pain! Such cruelty! But...you survived! She
survived!”
Suddenly, I felt myself being forced right through that vice!
God, it hurt! First my head was being crushed and then, slowly,
my whole body was subjected to the crushing pressure of being
forced from a place of safety and security, though a crushing vice
and into a place of coolness and sounds and touches that were
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alien to me. A hand slapped me across my back and I drew a

deep breath and then screamed at the top of my lungs!
“Ah,” said Aranon, “soon now you will be free of the pain.”
A tube was thrust into my mouth and my fist response was to
suckle, but this tube pulled fluids from my throat. Then I was
placed on something course and cold, stuff was dribbled into my
eyes, and my feet were pressed on something and then
something else, and rubbed. I was then wrapped in something
warm and soft and placed on my back on something even softer. I
felt hungry. I felt alone. I felt cold, even with the softness around
me. I felt overloaded with sensations and fear.
“Now,” said Aranon, “you are born. You are a singular
human being, dependant on your parents for sustenance and
safety.”
“Are all births this painful and scary?” I asked in my mind.
“No,” said Aranon, “not generally.”
I was amazed that he could hear me, and then I realized that
he had not only heard me but had been through the experience
with me. The experience seemed to be continuing. I could feel
myself being clothed in diapers and a tiny T-shirt, and then a little
bracelet was being placed on my wrist. I heard one of the nurses
comment on how very tiny I was at 2 lbs 5 ounces, and how I
would fit into a shoebox. Then, I fell asleep.
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Then Meestra, the angel, came and picked me up from my

tiny bed, wrapped in my tiny blanket and held me to her breast.
“You are safe, and you are loved,” she said, softly, rocking me
gently in her arms. “Soon, sweet girl-child, you will understand the
significance of this experience, but now, we will sing to you, and
celebrate your life.”
She flew with me, the tiny baby me, to that wondrous place
filled with light and then we were surrounded by numerous
angels, all singing, filling me with a sense of peace as the pain of
the ordeal diminished in my mind. At some point, Aranon took me
from the pool and placed me in my bed. After an indeterminate
period of time I awoke to find Aranon sitting in a chair beside the
bed. His eyes were closed and his hands were in a prayer
position, with his chin resting on his fingertips, his elbows resting
on the arms of the chair. I lay still, silently watching him,
wondering about him and what his life as a child must have been
like. Did he have parents? Were they still alive somewhere? What
was it like growing up in his culture?
Suddenly his eyes opened and he looked directly into mine.
“Ah,” he said, “you are awake.”
“Did I do ok?”
“You did just fine, but we aren’t quite finished yet.” He smiled
and patted my arm. “Would you like to tell me how you feel about
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what you experienced?”

“It hurt,” I said, sullenly. “Why did it have to hurt so much?”
“Well,” he responded, leaning back and looking up at the
sealing. “First of all, at the time of your birth, in the place you were
born, medicine was rather barbaric. Secondly, you were held back
from being born for quite some time. Do you know how long it
was?”
“I think my mom told me sixteen hours. She said that she
tore up magazines and newspapers and even the sheets on her
bed because she was in so much pain. She just ripped them to
shreds.”
“I can understand why,” said Aranon, and I could hear the
compassion in his voice. “And all because of some silly rule that
wouldn’t allow the nurses to deliver you without a doctor present.
I’ll bet your mom was pretty angry about that.”
“I guess,” I replied. “I can’t remember her ever telling me she
was angry about that though.”
“Okay,” he said, thinking. “Tell me about your mother.”
“She’s okay”
“No, tell me about how you feel about your mother,” he
amended.
“I don’t like her much.”
“Why is that?”
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“She’s nosy and pushy, demanding and nitpicky,” I replied.

“We get along like pink and orange.”
“What does that mean,” he asked, “like pink and orange?”
“We clash,” I replied.
“Ahhh,” he mused. “Can you see how your birth and the
difficulty it involved may have played a role in how you felt about
each other?”
“I guess,” I replied, thinking this was just a bunch of
psychological gobbledygook.
“Okay,” he said, his hands again taking the prayer position
under his chin. “Can you see how the intensity of the pain that you
felt, for sixteen hours, may have colored your perceptions of life?”
“How?” I asked. “I couldn’t remember it. I was just an infant,
and I can’t remember that far back without your help.”
“But are you aware that your body remembers? How else
could we have assisted you in connecting with that memory? And
your emotional system remembers, even if that memory is not
accessible to your conscious recall. The memory is there
otherwise you would not have been able to connect with it while
you were submerged in The Meathos. Can you see how this
memory, even though not a conscious memory, may have colored
your view of life?”
“I guess,” I said, still not convinced. “And so what? I mean
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people go through lots of pain in their lives, so what?”

“Pain conditions the body and the emotions. This
conditioning generates psychophysical responses when
conditions emulate the circumstances imprinted upon the
memory. Are you aware that much of what you feel is not about
what is occurring now, but rather about what has occurred at
some point in your past? That your feelings are born out of your
experiences, that your feelings are a psychophysical
manifestation of your memory system judging now with then?”
“Okay,” I said, so what?” I couldn’t understand what he was
getting at.
“How you experience the here and now, is largely
determined by what has happened to you in the past and how
well you have been able to physically and emotionally
accommodate those experiences through education and self
discovery. If you didn’t even know that your first experience with
life may have colored every other experience that you have ever
had since, how can you come to terms with the here and now?”
“I’m fine with the here and now, thank you,” I said
sarcastically. I’d been to shrinks and had even been in a mental
hospital because of my feelings, and that had never helped me
cope with them. My feelings were never in question, just my
behavior. Sure, they were always asking me about my mom and
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my dad, how they treated me, and stuff. So what? When they met
my mom and dad; they always knew it was just me, not them that
was the problem. Mom and dad were perfect parents. They
always knew just what to say to make the doctors look at me and
tell me that I was faking, that I ought to be in Hollywood. They
would chide me and tell me that I had a good home, and then ask
me why I was I acting like this?”
“I don’t think so,” he replied, gently. “I can see, by the way
that you respond to certain things, that you are afraid much of the
time, and that you constantly need to prove to those around you
that you are in control. Sometimes, you even do this by allowing
yourself to lose control.”
“That doesn’t make any sense,” I retorted, angrily. I felt as
though I had been pricked with a sharp knife.
“Okay,” he said, gently, “but it appears that when you to lose
control, you are really demanding the attention and the caring of
those around you. You have learned to gain the attention and the
focus of others by allowing yourself to loose control.”
I sat up and pushed my legs over the side of the bed. I was
angry! I was being accused of making others pay attention to me
with my behavior. Same old story! No one believed that I really
felt what I was feeling when I acted weird. I was being told that I
ought to be in Hollywood again, even though that is not what he
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said. I knew that is what he was accusing me of. “Go away!” I

shouted at him. “Leave me alone! I wan’a go home! I don’t wan’a
be here anymore!”
“There, you see,” he said. “I have triggered a psychophysical
response.”
“Go away!” I shouted. I got up and ran to the pool, the only
place that I have ever felt loved and cared for.
Aranon was up from his chair and had grabbed me before I
could get into the pool. He picked me up, as I kicked and
screamed obscenities at him. He held me until I stopped
struggling. Finally, realizing that I could not escape his grasp, I fell
into sobbing. He held me until the sobbing ceased.
“I know that you are afraid to confront this,” he said, softly,
still holding me firmly. “I know that you think I am accusing you of
being dishonest with your actions, but I know that you are not. I
think that your actions, or reactions are an honest response to
your feelings of fear, pain and maybe even abandonment.”
“You don’t know anything!” I shouted at him. “You don’t know
anything about what I am feeling and why!”
“You are feeling accused of pretending to have feelings in
order to get attention,” he said, accurately defining my present
state.
“I’m not!” I shouted at him. “I am not pretending!”
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“I know,” he said, softly, gently, hugging me to him in an

embrace that was full of love and caring. “What you are feeling is
quite real, and you are in desperate emotional pain. I know that
you feel lost, that you feel abandoned in your fear and your
emotional pain.”
“I just want someone to believe me,” I sobbed, relaxing in his
embrace.
“I believe you,” he said, hugging me tenderly. I relaxed even
more and stopped struggling.
“I think The Meathos believes me,” I said, still sobbing softly.
“I know they do,” he said, with a deep concern in his voice.
“And it all began at your birth. Both you and your mother were
treated abominably. What your mother was forced to endure,
because of rules and procedure was abominable. What you were
forced to endure, for the same reasons, was tragic. The pain and
the frustration, the lack of concern that both of you were subjected
to was real. The fact that it set both of you up to clash with one
another is understandable. Are you aware that you were never
given the opportunity to suckle from your mother’s breast?
Because of that, you were never able to bond with your mother
and feel her pain and know that she was not at fault. This
established an animosity with life in general and with your mother
in particular that would last your entire life, until now. Can you see
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that she was not responsible for your initial experience with life?”
“Yeah, okay, so what?” I said, my fear and anger still
determining my feelings.
“Can you forgive her?” He asked.
“For what?” I asked, my sobs subsiding.
“For the pain of your birth,” he replied,
“Okay,” I replied, not knowing the power of that statement.
“Good,” he said, gently, hugging me again. “That is the first
step.”
“I forgive her!” I said loudly, feeling the pain of her ordeal and
knowing the reason behind it. It wasn’t her fault! Suddenly, I was
aware that she didn’t choose the circumstances of my birth, and
that she suffered too, and that her life and her feelings toward me
were forever changed by those circumstances. My heart went out
to her in her pain, and I wanted to take that terrible time in which
she awaited my birth and erase it. I wanted to change it, so that
she’d never had to endure that pain and that she had welcomed
me, her only daughter, as a much longed for and finally fulfilled
dream, as my mother had once told me I was.
“I wasn’t supposed to even happen,” I said, as though my
saying this was proof of the fact that my mother’s pain was
somehow my fault. “My mother was wearing a birth control devise
when I was conceived. My parents used to tease me about this
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when I was little, even though I didn’t understand it at the time.”

“Ahhh,” he said, again placing his palms together beneath
his chin. “And they told you that you were unexpected, an
accident, maybe?”
“Yep,” I responded, my voice again sullen, maybe even a
little angry.
“So, not only did your birth teach you that life was painful
and frightening, but your parents told you that you were
unexpected, an accident, and even teased you about it. I bet you
felt really unwanted.”
“I have always felt unwanted,” I said, “and a huge
imposition.”
“No doubt,” he responded, nodding. “No matter what you do
or say while you are here, Christy,” he said, in a soft and caring
voice,” we are glad that you are here and that you have allowed
us this opportunity to assist you with all of these perceptions and
feelings. We are committed to helping you. I am committed to
helping you through these feelings and perceptions to a point
where you can see where they come from and why they have had
so much power in determining your life’s progress and your
psycho-emotional experiences up to this point. All we ask from
you, all I ask is, that you let me help you to understand,” he said
releasing me from his grasp.
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I pulled free of him and collapsed on the floor, sobbing. I was

confused. Had the pain of my birth colored my feelings, my
perceptions? Was I still feeling the influence of that time that I had
no memory of until now? Was I being controlled by feelings and
perceptions that I couldn’t even remember? Would things change
for me now that I had experienced this event? How? Why?
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Nine
Aranon suggested that I sleep for a while, and feeling

emotionally drained, I decided to do just that. I have no idea how
long that I slept, but I did dream of Meestra and the beautiful
garden. The dream was hazy as I awoke, and by the time I had
taken care of my physical needs, the memory had disappeared all
together.
I asked the synthesizer for hot, cooked oatmeal with cold
milk on it and then sat by myself, at the communications console
and queried the library for any and all information on The
Meathos.
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The Meathos is a semi-symbiotic life form with a collective

memory. The Meathos is indigenous to the planet Archana, in the
Galaxy of Andromeda. The Meathos has long been used by a
number of interplanetary societies for the purposes of physical
healing and as a medium for the hibernation of starship
crewmembers before the development of intra-temporal transport.
It has also been utilized as a medium for storing not only general
information, but also the personal identities of individuals
undergoing trans-physical procedures. It has been said that The
Meathos has one of the broadest informational cashes in the
known universe, having had interactions with nearly every known
race. The Meathos itself has chosen to work with the Universal
Brotherhood in their campaign to release the developing races of
Earth from their physical, emotional and mental distortions,
facilitating a planetary shift in consciousness. This shift promises
to redirect future events, eliminating the possibility of the future
temporal distortions generated by the people of Earth. As of now,
the number of temporal distortions flowing down the time line is
definitely diminishing.
The Meathos are indeed great healers who are open to all
races, all ideologies. One of the most important processes on
Anchor, in regards to healing those who’s lives have been drawn
there for assistance, is that of providing a psycho-neural
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connection between Seekers and their Facilitators. Through this

connection, the Facilitator has the opportunity to accompany
individuals as they are transported back to key experiences in
their lives, to feel, physically and emotionally, events that have
shaped the Seeker’s perceptions and responses their life
experiences and to assist them in interpreting those experiences
from a more enlightened viewpoint. The Meathos also assists in
educating the Seeker, by broadening their experiences with love,
acceptance and personal sensitivity…
I heard the door open with a whoosh, and turned to see
Aranon entering. He smiled and approached me. “I see you are
doing a little research on The Meathos,” he said, nodding, as if to
let me know that he approved.
“Well,” I said, somewhat defensively, even though I knew at
the time that I didn’t need to be. “No one told me I couldn’t.”
“Actually, your desire to know and to understand is not only
encouraging, but it tells me that you are willing to take an active
part in your healing process. The more that you know and
understand about what is being done and why, the more likely
you are to work with the process instead of against it.”
“Okay,” I said, “but I want to know about something that’s
probably not part of the process. I want to know about the food
synthesizer. How does it work?”
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“You like to go in several directions at once, don’t you,” he

asked, as he pulled up a seat.
“How do you mean?” I asked, again feeling attacked.
“It’s not a criticism,” he replied, holding up his hand, palm
toward me. “It just seems, at times, that you are more a
conglomerate than a singularity.”
“Huh?”
“It appears at times that you are more than one person, and
that each aspect of you has it’s own agenda.” He probably had no
idea at that time as to just how right he was, but then I didn’t
either, although from time to time I had my suspicions. “Okay, I’ll
attempt to explain the process the synthesizer uses to manifest
not just food, but anything that can be sampled and duplicated.”
“How about people?” I asked. “Can it duplicate people?”
“Yes,” but there is more to a living being than it’s physical
components. “We can and do duplicate bodies, but only under
certain conditions, and the duplicate must be assisted with life
support until a spiritual being can be induced to inhabit it. It is the
spiritual aspect that cannot be duplicated, and yet is the main
component in animating and maintaining the life force within a
body. Without the spirit, without the consciousness, the body
would never survive.”
“How does it duplicate food then?” I asked. “I mean food like
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lettuce and raw carrots are alive.”

“True, but that type of consciousness is not self determining,
but rather part of the great pool of living substance that makes up
physical reality. Therefore it is easily coaxed into the substance
being synthesized.”
“So how does it do it? Where does the synthesizer get the
stuff to make mashed potatoes and gravy?”
“It attracts it from the universal pool of substance,” he said,
matter of factly. “Of course, it will not attract animal substances,
so the meats that you ask for do not really consist of animal
substances, but rather substances that are easily textured and
flavored to mimic meats and other animal products. It is probably
more nutritious as well.”
“How does it attract all that stuff from the universe? I mean is
it just a big magnet or something?”
“Well,” he smiled, what seemed to be an indulgent smile.
“Essentially, you are right, it is a magnet of sorts, and we program
its collection grid according to what we want it to attract, and how
we want it to recompose the materials it attracts.”
“What about toys?” I asked, in a small, childish voice. “Can it
make toys?”
Aranon cocked his head as a questioning look spread across
his face. “What kind of toys?” He asked.
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Kerry Dennis
“I would really, really like to have a teddy bear.”

“Of course,” he replied, smiling. “How big?”
“This big!” I replied, the tenor of my voice still expressing in
that childlike tone. I raised my hands and spread them about two
feet apart.
“What color?” he asked.
“Bears are brown, silly, don’t you know that?”
“Of course they are,” he responded gently, “but there are
also gray ones, black ones and white ones. I just wanted to give
you a choice.“ When I didn’t respond to this he smiled and went to
the synthesizer and began pressing keys. The tone sounded and
he pulled a large, brown, stuffed bear from the delivery
compartment. He brought it to me and placed it in my arms.
“Thank you,” I replied, hugging the stuffed animal tightly. It
was soft and warm, and felt almost alive in my arms.
“Any more questions?” He asked.
“Yep,” I said.
“Okay, what?”
“Where am I and who are you?”
Aranon was obviously taken off guard by this, his face went
blank for a second, and then he seemed to recover a bit. “How
would you like to take a walk with me?” He asked, calmly.
“Okay,” I said, sliding off my chair as he stood. Still hugging
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my new teddy bear tightly under one arm, I extended my other

hand for him to take. He took it and smiled at me.
“Maybe you could tell me your name,” he said, softly, as he
waved his other hand to open the door.
“I’m Lynn,” I replied, in that voice of a child. “What’s your
name?”
“I’m Aranon,” he said, leading me down the deserted
hallway. “I am pleased to meet you Lynn.”
“Are you a doctor?” Lynn asked. “Am I in the hospital?”
“Sort of,” he replied. “You are in a place where you are very
safe, and I am going to try to help you to always be safe.”
“Thank you,” Lynn said, as he lead her into another room
where there was a large crystal table. I had been here before, but
at this point Lynn had no memory of that.
Aranon picked her up and laid her on the table. He asked if
he could borrow her teddy bear for just a little while, but when she
began to cry as he attempted to remove it from her grasp, he
simply allowed her to keep it.
“That’s all right,” he said, stepping to a console and touching
colored bars of light. “This isn’t going to hurt, but it might get just a
little scary, so I want you to know that I am right here and you are
safe.”
Then there was a slight whining noise, as the upper slab of
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crystal began to descend, and my body began to levitate between

the two. This was definitely scary, especially to this child persona
called Lynn, I had somehow become. She began to cry and then
to scream loudly. Aranon was right there, touching her forehead
lightly. Instantly, she felt a calm flow through her, relaxing her.
She stopped screaming and crying and became very placid until
he reversed the process and she was once again lying on the
crystal slab. He gently picked her up and carried her back to my
room. He laid her on my bed, reached above her head and
touched some sort of switch and she was instantly asleep.
I awoke to find Aranon, again sitting in the chair beside me,

but this time his attention was focused on me from the moment I
opened my eyes. I felt like I had been drugged, and it was difficult
to come to full awareness. I had to blink a couple of times before
my vision cleared.
“How do you feel?” He asked, leaning toward me and taking
my hand.
“I feel like someone slipped me a Mickey Finn.”
He tilted his head while a questioning look spread across his
face. “Can you explain the term Mickey Finn?”
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“Knockout drops, chloral hydrate. I feel like I was drugged.”

“Ah,” he said, “that will pass. I had to engage the sleep mode
on your bed.” He leaned back, letting go of my hand, and crossed
his legs. “You are certainly an interesting case,” he said, flashing
a humorous smile.
“Why?” I asked, feeling as though I must have done
something crazy and just didn’t remember it. That happened a lot
in my life. Many a time I had awakened in a place I was either
unfamiliar with, or hadn’t remembered going to. That was another
one of those things that seemed to always get me into trouble,
because I always seemed to have done something outlandish that
I had no memory of. For a while the doctors thought I had
epilepsy and had me on medication for it, but that didn’t stop the
incidents, it just made me dopey all the time. “What did I do?”
“You asked for a teddy bear,” he smiled, “actually, you were
quite charming.” He pointed to the other side of the bed and I
looked. Beside me was a beautiful, fluffy brown teddy bear.
“Okay,” I said, having no memory of the incident, but not
wanting him to know that. Nevertheless, my heart was pounding
and my face felt hot.
“I would imagine,” he began, “that right now you are feeling
rather afraid because you have no memory of what has
happened.” He reached out again and took my hand once more,
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pressing it gently between his two warm but mammoth hands. “It’s
okay,” he said gently, his face filled with gentleness, “you didn’t do
anything wrong. “
“I don’t do it on purpose!” I cried, still feeling as though I
whould be punished for this episode. That’s what the doctor in the
hospital called it, an episode of play-acting. Hot tears were
running down the sides of my face and into my ears, and I felt
betrayed by my own mind.
“I know that,” his voice was gentle and filled with
compassion. He reached out with his right hand and gently
brushed the tears from my cheeks. “You have done nothing
wrong. There is a word in your language that describes what has
happened, several of them actually. I believe that you have been
experiencing dissociative reactions. There are a number of
reported cases like yours. It is sometimes called multiple
personalities or dissociative identity disorder. It’s the result of
psycho-emotional fragmentation due to severe and repeated
abuse and trauma. We can help you with it, if you will allow us to.
I won’t lie to you; it will be painful for you. You will have to visit the
traumatic experiences that generated the fragmentation. You are
really going to have to want to release yourself from this
distortion. You will need to be really committed to doing what it
takes to get through this. It won’t be easy, but it can be done.”
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“I have children inside me,” I said, as more tears spilled out

of my eyes, and I began to shake, feeling the power of this
disclosure. I had known this for some time, but no one believed
me, and every time I told anyone I was treated like I was
pretending, to get attention. The doctors and staff at the hospital
had punished me for it. They would put me in seclusion or take
away all my ground privileges. My parents had even allowed me
to be put into a juvenile detention center for it.
“Yes,” he said. “I met one. Her name is Lynn and she is the
one who asked for the teddy bear.”
“I’m not faking!” I sobbed, pulling my hand away and turning
toward the wall.
“You are definitely not faking,” he said, rubbing my shoulder
and then patting my head. “I have absolute proof of that.”
I turned back to face him, not believing my ears. “How did
you get proof?” I asked.
“I gave Lynn an examination. You are definitely two different
entities. Her heart rate is faster than yours, her body temperature
is different than yours, and her brain pattern is definitely different
than yours. My only challenge, I think, will be to discover how
many individuals I will be working with here.” He grinned, as
though this was humorous but I failed to see the humor in it.
Actually, I was terrified and relieved all at the same time.
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Terrified that there were others inhabiting my body with me and

relieved that there really was something going on and I wasn’t just
psychotic. On the other hand, I had long suspected that I had
others in my mind with me, because there were many times when
I could hear a baby crying, and no one else did. There were many
times that the others had left nasty messes for me to clean up and
face the consequences for. It was better to know then to not
know. At least I wasn’t totally crazy.
“So how are you gonna keep them from taking over like
that?” I asked, hoping that there was an easy way for him to stop
these episodes from happening until I worked through to the
source of them.
“I think I shall treat whomever is present at the time with love
and respect. I don’t think that it is a good idea to suppress your
alternate personalities,” he replied.
“No!” I cried, again turning to the wall. “I don’t like it when
that happens! I can’t remember anything when that happens! I
don’t want that to happen anymore! Make it stop!”
“Only you can make it stop, Christy, and that is going to take
a bit of hard work,” he said, gently. “But I can help you to
remember what happens during the dissociations, and The
Meathos will probably assist you in connecting to the other
aspects of yourself and eventually you will learn to develop a
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shared consciousness. Eventually, you can all come together as

one, or maintain separate viewpoints and preferences if that is the
consensus. Let us help you with this, Christy. Your present day
psychological science has little understanding of this phenomena
and if you are unable to deal with it here, the chances of your
being able to deal with it within the framework of your native
position are not too good.” He reached out and turned me to look
at him. “You will have to trust me on this, Christy. I know we can
help you to help yourself heal from this. Like I said though, it’s
going to take commitment and courage.”
“I’m so tired of being crazy,” I said tearfully.
“I believe you,” he said.
Even more tears began to spill from my eyes. No one had
ever said that to me except him. I wanted to trust him. I wanted to
get well. I wanted to be normal! I had spent most of my life
seeking assistance with this problem of mine. Of course there
was much more to it than just the blackouts, the waking up in
strange places. There was also this overpowering need I had, a
desperate desire that took up most of my thoughts, filling them
with fantasies of a final completion. I couldn’t talk about that just
yet though. I was too overwhelmed by the fact that Aranon not
only believed me, but also had proof that I was not pretending, not
play-acting.
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“I know that you are having a lot of intense feelings right

now,” he said, breaking into my fevered thoughts. “Would you like
to see if maybe The Meathos can help you with them?”
Could he see my secret thoughts when I was in The
Meathos and he was interfaced with it? Would he know what I am
not ready to talk about yet if I agreed to go to the Meathos? Does
it even matter anymore? My thoughts were racing madly around
in my head, and I was feeling lost in my fear and my confusion.
“I think you are really having a difficult time right now,” he
said, gently, as he picked me up. “I’m going to take you to the
pool so that you can get help from the Meathos.”
“Don’t hook up!” I cried, feeling as though my life depended
on keeping my secret safe. “Stay with me! Hold me! Please!” I
sobbed, as he approached the Meathos.
“I will enter the pool, and hold you until you feel safe.” He
conceded. “Then, if the Meathos thinks that I can assist, it will let
me know. Until then, I will just hold you.”
He stepped into the pool and sat down in the Meathos with
me in his arms. For a moment I struggled with the sense of
suffocation that came from the Meathos invading my nose and
mouth. As I opened my mouth to cry out, Aranon touched me on
the forehead and I relaxed.
As soon as I relaxed and allowed the Meathos to fill my
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lungs with oxygen, and began to breathe it, as I would air,

Meestra appeared to me, her arms outstretched, her face
wreathed in compassion, like a mother rescuing a child from a fall.
“Your secret is safe with me,” she said, her voice soothing
and filled with kindness. “When you are ready to share it, we will
allow Aranon to know, but not until you are ready. You are in
control of your destiny. You are in control of your life. You are in
control of your choices. You are the only one who can decide
when you are ready to take the next step. Until then I will comfort
you and nurture you and assist you in finding peace beyond the
chaos of your thoughts, your fears and your desires.”
“Can you help me to remember when the others take me
away?” I asked, relaxing even more in her warm embrace.
“Yes,” she said, and her face glowed with a loving smile.
Suddenly, I was transported back to the moment when Lynn
came on the scene, as I was asking Aranon about the
synthesizer. I could feel her confusion at being in this strange
place, and yet she was more trusting then I had been, and had
asked Aranon for a teddy bear to hold, to comfort herself, when
she felt no one else could comfort her. His willingness to comply
with this request automatically made him a “good guy” and she
felt safe with him. His size didn’t seem to faze her at all, and then
I realized that she was probably a little child and all adults looked
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big to her.
“How old is she?” I asked Meestra.
“You decide,” she said, allowing me to view this clone of
myself at her at the age she presented herself.
Suddenly, I could see her, as myself, when I was a child of
somewhere around seven or eight. I could see her trusting little
face, as she looked up at Aranon, giving him her hand. His gentle
smile made both her and me feel accepted and protected. I
watched the whole episode, as he took her to the examination
room and placed her on the crystal table. I watched as she
became suspended between the two slabs and felt her terror. I
felt Aranon’s love flow through the touch of his hand on her and
my forehead, and felt it’s relaxing power. Then the vision ended.
“She is me,” I said, startled by this revelation.
“Yes,” Meestra replied, gently. “She is you, that part of you
that was frozen in time as the result of an event that was so
overwhelming that she could not share it. She has held that event,
and herself in a parallel existence, so that the power of it would
not destroy your will to live. She held it to save you, and she
continues to hold it to keep you safe. She exists to protect you
from the power of that terrible event, just as you keep your secret
from Aranon, to protect yourself from his rejection, from the
possibility that he will devalue your need.
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“I know your need is real,” she continued. “I know that it

means as much to you as your life does. I also know that your
need is the key to your healing, and that when you are ready to
share it, you will discover that key and find the power through
which to heal yourself. You are in control. Only you have the
power to make the choices necessary to find the healing
experience that you so desperately crave. Until you are ready to
reveal that need, I will sustain you, and I will keep you safe. And
when you are ready, I will continue to sustain you and keep you
safe.”
“Aranon won’t do it,” I said to her. “He will just tell me that I
really want something else, that what I want is wrong or bad or
something. That’s what they all tell me. I guess what I want is
really crazy. I just can’t stop wanting it. I just can’t help believing
that it is the only thing that will help me to remember what
happened and who I really am.”
“If this is what you truly believe,” she replied, her voice
gentle but firm in this conviction, “ then I too believe this is what is
truly needed to open that door to your past memories.
Nevertheless, you are the one who is in control of your life, and
you are in control of your choices. I believe in you, and I will help
you to attain that which you believe will set you free.”
My heart soared, and my entire being was filled with
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acceptance and love. I wanted to believe that my fantasy would

be fulfilled and that I would, as the result of that completion,
remember what it was that shattered me, shattered my memory
so that I became the prisoner of feelings without a remembered
source. I allowed Meestra to enfold me in her arms, and then
within her wings, sheltering me from the storm raging within my
emotional self. I gave myself to her, nestling in her arms, allowing
myself to be loved, comforted and protected. Finally, I slept within
the Meathos.
I know that Aranon, upon recognizing that there had been a
resolution to my fear and pain, lifted me from the Meathos and
once again put me to bed. I know that he sat there beside me,
watching, waiting for my return from the heavenly embrace of
Meestra. I also know now that he was given clues, visions, as he
sat there in the pool with me, holding me. Nevertheless, Meestra
kept her word and did not allow him to see the whole picture. I am
sure that she told him that there was a secret wish, but I am
equally certain that she did not tell him exactly what it was.
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Ten
“I think we need another break,” said Aranon as I sat at the

table eating a bowl of simulated Rice Chex cereal.
“Can we go back in time?” I asked. “Maybe we could go
back and find out what really happened to me that has made my
life such a hell.”
“Maybe, but you know what happened to you, it’s just a
matter of remembering. The process of healing requires that you
reach back within yourself and confront the event from within.”
He looked at me and started to smile, and I narrowed my
eyes at him, giving him that yeah sure look.
He shook his head as though he knew that I knew that he
was bullshitting me, and then amended his position by saying,
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“Showing it to you may be of assistance, it’s true, but as I said, I

think we need a break from your inner journey to have a little fun.”
“Fun,” I said, glumly, “is an illusion.”
“Then let us immerse ourselves in the illusion.” Now he
smiled, and I didn’t have any comebacks.
“So, what do you have planned?” I asked, realizing that I
wasn’t going to get to do what I wanted to do.
“I thought we might hike into the wilderness, and picnic at
this very beautiful place I know of. “
“Hike? Into the wilderness?” I was flabbergasted. “Look, I
don’t even have shoes, just these little slippers!” I said, holding up
my foot for him to see.
“Not to worry, I am sure we can synth a pair for you,” he
replied, grinning.
“Synth?”
“Common Earther practice, called slang,” he replied, grinning
even more broadly, if that was possible. "Lets allow the Meathos
to program the synthesizer, as they probably know your fit better
than you do.”
“Is that possible?”
“Trust me, the Meathos knows you intimately.”
“No,” I countered, “how is it possible for the Meathos to
program the synthesizer?”
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“Because it is part of the data network, it can access any

system on the network,” he replied.
“Okay,” I said, not understanding at all. I knew there were
such things as computers, but I had no idea how they worked,
and I had a feeling that this network was much more than just a
bunch of linked TV stations.
Within seconds the tone sounded on the synthesizer and
Aranon went to it and removed a pair of hiking boots. They looked
like real leather, but I suspected they weren’t. He handed them to
me and I was going to put them on when I realized I had no
socks.
“Need socks,” I remarked, looking the boots over. They were
well made, but contained no logos, no brand name.
“Right,” replied Aranon, and even as he said it the unit
beeped again. He went to it and brought back a pair of white
cotton socks. “Your wish is our command, m’lady,” he said as he
handed them to me.
I put them on and then I pulled on the boots. They fit better
than any new pair of shoes I had ever had! I walked around in
them and they felt wonderful! They were soft and pliable, and yet
supportive. Aside from the fact that my feet were warm for the first
time in who knows how long, they felt almost as though they were
bare.
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“Okay,” I said, smiling, “how about some real clothes?” I

was still in the jumpsuit Aranon gave me after my examination.
“Ah, yes. Come with me.” He opened the door and I followed
him down the hallway, which was empty of anyone but us.
“Did you clear the hallway?” I asked.
“No,” he replied, opening a door and leading me into a huge
room of cabinets and drawers. There were isles of them. It was
like a maze. “Today is sort of a holiday,” he said over his
shoulder, as he hunted for a drawer.
“Really?” I asked excitedly, “you mean like Christmas?”
He pulled open a drawer and pulled out a pair of blue jeans.
“Here, try these on.”
“Why don’t you just have Meathos program them into the
synthesizer for me?”
“It’s complicated,” he replied. “Most Earthers prefer their
natural clothing. I thought you might be more comfortable in
familiar fabrics.”
“Hmm,” I mused, wondering just how many Earthers there
were on Anchore to require such a huge storeroom for clothes.
I pulled off the stretchy jumpsuit and tried on the jeans
behind a row of cabinets and they seemed to fit well enough, if I
rolled up the cuffs, but then I had been doing that most of my life,
being a short person. As I stood up from adjusting my cuffs,
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Aranon was there, handing me a long sleeved, light blue pullover.

I took it from him and motioned for him to go away. Once he was
gone I pulled it on. It was soft and fit well too. Now I was dressed.
“So, what is the holiday?” I asked, coming out from between
the cabinets.
“It is the day in which we celebrate our spiritual connection to
all of life. It is the day in which we reaffirm our commitment to life
and to those with whom we travel towards greater unity and
enlightenment. It is a little like Christmas, for we often celebrate
one another with gifts and reunions with friends and family. It is
also a day of retrospect, where we look at our progress and
decide on new projects, new paths.
“That is why we are going to hike into the wilderness, to
reconnect with nature, to reassess what we have done so far and
decide what to do next. I also hope to offer you a gift, which will
strengthen you as well as expand your consciousness.”
He led me from the clothing room back into the hall. A group
of individuals passed us as we walked. They were all dressed
unusually, in costumes that looked a little like priests robes,
although very colorful ones. They were singing and laughing, and
they all looked like they were having a wonderful time.
“So, what’s this gift?” I asked, caught up in the spirit of
celebration and excitement.
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Kerry Dennis
“I can’t tell you,” he said, smiling and winking. “You have to

experience it. Telling you about it would mean nothing until then.”
“Okay,” I said, “so it’s a surprise, huh?”
“Yes,” he replied, guiding me down another corridor.
“How do you know where to go without getting lost?” I tried
to imagine finding my way through this maze of hallways.
“After a time, even you will develop a sense about it.” He
laughed, and then with a sheepish look pointed out characters on
small inlaid tiles high on the walls. “It also helps to know how to
decipher the sector codes.”
Soon we had entered the great hall where the portal gate to
Top Side was. This time I wasn’t afraid at all, and when it became
our turn to go through, and Aranon had stated our destination, I
walked placidly through the portal and into a park like area,
surrounded with trees, hills and even mountains. The wind was
blowing gently, and there was the smell of growing things and dirt.
The sky was a brilliant aqua marine, punctuated with white puffy
clouds, scudding lazily across the sky. I could hear birds calling to
one another and the sound of running water.
Aranon led me through a copse of trees and down a hill, and
then along the bank of a gurgling stream. Animals, some familiar,
some strange, darted for cover or unconcernedly munched on
leaves and grass, giving our passing little attention. I was awed by
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the beauty of the scene and by the diversity of the life inhabiting it.
The colors of the birds were breathtaking, and a herd of what
looked like a cross between elk and Yaks, with antlers and long
shaggy hair, ambled by us in search of tastier greens to munch.
The sense of being in the Garden of Eden took my breath away.
“Wow!” was about all I could manage.
“I had hoped that you would like this,” said Aranon, again
grinning broadly. He was showing off his home, and he was very
proud of it. “Soon, we will be entering a dense forest, so I would
like you to stay close to me. Not all of the wildlife is as amiable
and accepting of visitors as those we have encountered so far.”
“Oh goodie,” I exclaimed, “real danger!”
“Only to the uninitiated,” he responded, chuckling under his
breath.
We walked for what seemed like miles, but I didn’t care. My
body was craving exercise and the hike was actually working
some of the kinks out of my muscles. Finally, we came to a
clearing and Aranon stopped, surveying the area.
“This will do,” he said. He took a small electronic device from
some hidden pocket and began pressing buttons. Finally, he
pointed the device, and pressed one last button and a tent
appeared.
“What is that,” I asked, “a portable synthesizer?
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“Not exactly,” he said, pressing more buttons and producing

a table and two chairs, the table laden with what looked like
plastic boxes. “Its more of a transport device. I left supplies at
specific coordinates and I am now transporting them here.”
“Neat-o,” I said, as I watched him transport numerous
cartons to the campsite.
“If you are hungry, we can eat.”
“Okay.”
He walked over to the table and began unpacking packages
of food. There were sandwiches and fruit and a bottle of what
looked like wine. He removed the other cartons from the table and
then set the table with dishes and glasses and plates of food.
“Your dinner is served,” he said with a flourish, pulling out a
chair at the table for me.
I sat down and he handed me what appeared to be a cloth
napkin, and then he sat down across from me. He motioned for
me to choose a sandwich from the plate in the center of the table.
“What kind of sandwiches are they?” I asked.
“Take one and see,” he replied.
I grabbed one and took a bite of it, and decided that it was
ham on rye with lettuce and mustard. “Umm”, I said, enjoying the
flavor.
He pored wine, or what looked like wine into my glass and I
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took a swig, and he smiled. He seemed to be in his glory. His

smile was one of great pleasure. I knew at that moment, that he
had spent a great deal of time and energy planning this event. I
wondered when he had found the time, and then I remembered
that I had spent a great deal of time sleeping, especially after my
last encounter with the Meathos. I wondered just how long I had
been here on Ancore.
“How long have I been here,” I asked.
“Six days and,” and then checking his electronic device
added, “seventeen hours.”
“Golly!” I replied, unable to think of an appropriate response.
“Is this enjoyable?” He asked, waving his hand to
encompass the table and the wilderness surrounding us, almost
as if he required my approval. His face was hopeful, expectant.
“Yes!” I responded, enthusiastically nodding my head,
hoping to make him happy.
“This is just the beginning,” he said. “As you may have
noticed, I’ve planed for us to spend the night and maybe more
than one, depending on what happens in the next few hours.”
“Like what’s supposed to happen?” I asked
“That’s the surprise,” he said, flashing another smile and
then a wink.
“Oh,” I said, disappointed that he was so determined not to
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let on what this was all about. Nevertheless, the food was good
and the scenery was beautiful, so I sat back enjoying my
sandwich, the drink and our surroundings.
“I wish I had my guitar,” I said after I had eaten all I could. I
pushed away from the table and stood in the clearing, admiring
the sky, which was becoming quite colorful as the one sun had
already set and the other began it’s final decent over the horizon.
“Ah, you are a musician,” he mused as he cleared the table.
“I can arrange to get you one if you would like.”
“Really?” I asked, brightening at the thought of strumming
and singing, as the stars shown in the sky, like the ideal campout.
All that was missing was the campfire.
“What kind of guitar would you like?” He asked, pulling his
electronic device out once again.
“Now you can’t tell me that you have a number of differing
guitars set aside, awaiting transport.”
“No, but I can have one synthesized and then transport it.
Would you like me to do that?”
I thought about it for a moment and then responded.
“Medium sized classical folk, gut strings, wide neck.” He nodded
and then began tapping out codes on his device. I wondered just
how it was possible for him to know what codes would produce
what effects. After a moment he put the device away and then
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walked over and stood beside me.

“Beautiful sight, isn’t?” He asked, joining me in watching the
sunset.
“Yes, it is. Can we have a fire?”
“Only if you are willing to help me gather wood,” he replied.
“Sure. I guess we had better hurry, it’s getting dark fast!” I
hurried to a clump of trees and searched the ground for
appropriate kindling. Most of what I found was just that, kindling. I
was unable to find any good sized fallen branches. That meant
we would need lots of it to keep a fire going for any appreciable
amount of time.
When I returned to the campsite, Aranon was creating a fire
pit with a small shovel and some rocks. I dumped the wood into
the pit when he was finished.
“That’s a start,” he said, smiling, “but we are going to need
some logs to keep it going.”
“I couldn’t find any,” I said, sitting down on one of the chairs
that Aranon had brought over to the fire pit.
“Not to worry,” he smiled, pulling out his little device again.
He pointed it at the fire pit and three large logs appeared atop the
kindling, and then with a whoosh, flames burst forth from the
kindling, and began licking at the bottoms and up the sides of the
logs. The wood crackled and resettled, sending glowing embers
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swirling into the sky.

“Wow,” I said, entranced by the instant fire, “you’re a handy
guy to have around.”
“It’s all smoke and mirrors,” he said, chuckling. He focused
the device on a patch of ground next to my chair and a guitar
appeared. “And a little help from my friends,” he added.
I sat looking down at the guitar, amazed by its beauty. The
wood finish was so shiny that I could see the fire reflected in it. I
reached out and touched it, thinking it may be an apparition, but it
was real. I picked it up, cradled it in my lap and ran my fingers
across the true gut strings. The sound and timber was fantastic!
The strings sounded like they were in tune. I positioned the
fingers of my left hand on the frets and strummed a chord. It
echoed across the clearing.
“Play a song for me,” said Aranon, grabbing another chair
and sitting beside me by the fire.
I strummed for a while and then played ‘Blowin’ In the Wind’,
one of the first folk songs I had learned. Aranon listened in rapt
attention, nodding at intervals. When I finished, he remained silent
for a few moments. During this silence a strange sound began,
like a thousand women wailing.
I sat, terrified by the strange sound, shaking inside.
“Aranon,” I finally whispered, as the sound diminished. “What was
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that?”
“They like you.” He responded, in a normal voice.
“Who likes me?” I asked, no longer whispering. I figured if he
wasn’t scared then I had no reason to be.
“The Sengalia,” he replied, as if I should know.
“Okay, and who are they?”
“When we began to terraform this planet we discovered a
race that is indigenous to this planet. Before their planet had
become cold, due to the death of their sun, eons ago, they placed
their consciousness in a form of stasis, knowing, they said, that
they would be revived by a race, whose purpose aligned with
theirs. Their consciousness was so evolved that they were able to
produce physical vehicles, bodies if you will, very rapidly. More
rapidly than any of the other races we have encountered. We
assume that they had learned, before their stasis, to develop
physical vehicles to express through, as they had the ability to
inform matter with their consciousness. They are a very old and
wise race with certain powers that are unique.”
“Such as?”
“You’ll see,” he said. “Why don’t you sing another song? This
time sing something that you wrote yourself.”
“Golly,” I said, trying to remember a song that I had written.
“Well, okay, but it is a really sad and lonely song.”
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“That’s all right,” he said, “if it comes from you, they will like
it.”
As the result of a difficult and rather unhappy life, my poetry
and music tended to reflect my personal pain. A lot of the abuse
that I had endured was at the hands of those who said that they
were acting according to God’s will. As the result of this, my music
reflected my disdain for religion.
I began to strum and then sing a song I wrote called “Jesus
Watches Me.”
“Jesus watches me, drowning in life’s sea;

If Jesus loves me, why won’t he help me?
Why must the wind blow cold?
Why must the sea be cold?
Jesus, if you love me, teach me to grab hold.
But, Jesus watches me, drowning in life’s sea;

And I don’t know but I don’t think He loves me
‘Cause He just watches me.
Just teach me how to swim!

That’s my prayer to Him
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Jesus, if you love me, teach me how to swim.

I’m lost and far away, I don’t know how to pray
Just reach your hand down
and pull me out or I will drown today!
But Jesus watches me, drowning in life’s sea

And I don’t know but I don’t think He loves me
‘Cause He just watches me.”
As soon as I had finished my little song, the Sengalia began

their wailing again, somehow knowing that I had completed the
song. Their wailing was soft and mournful, and filled with intense
emotion, as if they understood my pain and related to it. I too was
filled with the echo of their melancholy wail, and tears streamed
from my eyes, as though I finally understood the pain that had
engendered the song I had just sung.
“Now,” said Aranon, with a knowing smile, “make up a new
song, a song that responds to the pain you feel, with an answer
for that pain.”
“I don’t know an answer for that pain,” I said, “I’m not sure
there is one.”
“Trust me,” he said, in a gentle voice, “just try it.”
I began to strum again and found myself making a unique
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chord pattern. I went with it and just let myself sing anything that
came into my mind. What came out was not only astonishing, but
I remember every word, even today.
“The Kingdom of God is within you,

A wise man told his friends;
It’s not in the world or beyond the grave;
Or out where the universe ends;
And to enter this Kingdom of Heaven,
Is very hard my friends;
For it can’t be done, ‘til you become
As a child before, babyhood ends.
It must be as if you were born again;

And everything is new;
All you’ve been taught must be washed away;
With all that you thought to be true.
Master, they asked this wise man;
Must we enter our mothers again?
No, he said, you must enter your souls;
And be born anew from within.
Once your souls were as the wind;
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They had no beginning, no end;

But you have bound them up with your teachings and laws;
And now like dead trees they’ll break but not bend.
But a child knows not the teachings;
And has not learned the law
So with arms open wide, he seeks love and truth;
And set no limits at all.
But children learn from acceptance you see,

So they believe all that they hear;
And the trouble here is that before they’ve grown,
They’ll have learned of war, hate and tears:
And then trying to live in the world,
They forget how to live in their soul;
Seeking only to control their outer world,
They finally loose control.
So, you must go within my friends

And seek your imprisoned souls;
Seek the Spirit and the Truth within and then,
Be born again and be whole.
For the Kingdom of God is within you,
This wise man told his friends;
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It’s not in the world or beyond the grave,

Or out where the universe ends,
Or out where the universe ends.”
I was in awe by what had come out of my mouth. I guess I

was answering my previous song, telling myself that what I
needed was within me and that I had to go within to find that
injured child, and then be reborn from the inside out. I sat silently
for a long time; cogitating on the words that had been channeled
through me by some force I didn’t yet understand. Would Jesus
have said that to me if He had heard my song? Could it be that
my strange arrival here was His answer? Had He actually
reached His hand down and pulled me out?
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Eleven
The fire burned brightly before me, smoke rising to the sky
above, wafting on the breeze like a specter momentarily occluding
our view of a zillion twinkling stars. I had set the guitar down, and
had wrapped myself in deep thought. I was thinking of the night
that I had written my Jesus Loves Me song, sitting in an
unfinished tract home at two in the morning, struggling with my
fears, and my emotional pain. I felt bereft and damaged. I felt that
I didn’t belong anywhere. From deep inside me came this intense
and desperate wail accompanied by the desire to go home. Not to
my house, just across the alley, but to my real home, somewhere
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out there, amidst the stars. Even then, I was convinced that I was
actually from another planet and that somehow I had been
abandoned here, cut off forever from those who knew me,
understood me and loved me. I am sure that many teenagers felt
like this, but I didn’t know that then. All I knew was what I felt, and
I felt totally abandoned.
I had grown up in a home that was, from the observations of
others, idyllic. My parents were hard working, and we always had
nice homes, the latest gadgets, and the newest car. My mother
grew roses and entered them in the fair each year and had a box
filled with so many ribbons she could have papered the walls of
an entire room with them. My dad was a tradesman, who had
eventually saved enough to open his own offset printing business.
My parents finally had the dream house, the pretty yard with
green grass and shady trees, three beautiful children; two of
which were grown and successful; and a dog. But I was the thorn
in their side. I was the one who never was able to measure up to
that picture. I was the one with the psychological problems, which
they insisted were groundless, unbidden. After all, hadn’t they
given me everything my heart desired? Hadn’t they always made
sure that I went to the best schools, had the best clothes, the
most nutritious food, and the most expensive toys?
No one could figure out what was wrong with me, especially
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me. They took me to counseling, even though they didn’t believe

in all that psychological mumbo-jumbo. Of course, they would
never agree to attend counseling with me. What was going on
with me was not their fault! I was the one who had made myself
nutty. I just wanted attention! I made things up and harmed myself
regularly, just for the attention. They were good parents. They
were pillars of the community. They did everything they could to
hide from and deny my psychological dysfunction. When people
asked about me, and my obvious psychological dysfunction, they
would say, “It’s just a phase”. After all, what would the neighbors
say if they thought they lived next door to a crazy kid? My parent’s
sense of propriety and normalcy was paramount, even more
important than their disturbed and disturbing daughter. I don’t
doubt that they loved me, but it was a conditional love, based in
denial and the invalidation of my feelings.
“Tell me what has you so deep in thought?” Aranon said,
gently touching my knee to bring me back to the here and now.
“I was thinking about the time in my life when I wrote that
song. The first one I sang. I was thinking about how things were
back then, and how completely lost I felt.”
“I thought maybe that was what had your attention. Would
you like to share it with me?”
“No,” I said, a little abruptly. “Not right now. Right now I want
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to ask you something.”

“Okay,” he replied, “ask away.”
“You said that the original research team that came to Earth
eons ago goofed up and were made to stay there, because their
karma had become connected with Earth. So, when these people
from some other world were made to stay on Earth, because they
goofed up, were they able to remember, in later lifetimes, that
they were not from Earth?” I was desperately seeking an answer
that would legitimize my feelings of not belonging on Earth, of
being from somewhere else. The feelings had been so intense at
times that I had often found myself longing to go home. Even so, I
knew that the idea was sheer insanity. Still, the feelings persisted.
“Could I be one of them?” I asked, tears welling up in my eyes. I
realized how insane such thinking was. I knew for a fact that we
only lived once, and that hoping to discover that I was somehow
related to this ancient race was a futile one.
“I am certain that you are,” he said, matter-of-factly.
My heart leapt and then skipped a few beats, and my mind
whirled through a kaleidoscope of images, feelings. Longings to
know who I really was, and where I really belonged continued to
plague me. Tears flowed from my eyes as I truly felt this validation
of my life long suspicion that I was not home, even though I had
been born on Earth. At the same time, a chiding voice, within my
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mind, kept telling me that pinning my hope of personal validation

on such an insane idea was grounded in futility.
Aranon gently put his arms around me and lifted me into his
lap, cuddling me, kissing my head and then rocking me gently, as
the Sengalia wailed in response to the sobs I could no longer
contain. Suddenly, we were surrounded by beings that were
sobbing with me, and even reaching out with their small, not quite
human hands, caressing my body lightly, sweetly, like children
seeking to console a frightened animal. They were only about
three or four feet tall, with large heads, large almond shaped eyes
and small expressive mouths. They crowded around us,
protectively, not oppressively, cooing and murmuring in soft,
gently reassuring tones. They were naked, and yet I was not
afraid of them.
One of them touched my cheek gently, with one of it’s three
fingered hands and when I looked up, peered into my eyes. I
could see my reflection in his large, obsidian eyes, as he spoke to
me without speaking.
“You are loved, dear one,” he said, his words penetrating not
my ears, but my thoughts. “We welcome you home. You have
paid your debt, and you are forgiven. From this day forth, you are
reconnected to us, as part of us, even when apart from us. We
will hold you forever in our consciousness, guiding you, assisting
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you and giving you strength for what is to come. We will teach you
of your origins, and we will give you back what you have lost, but
only if you will allow. You are the first of the lost children to return,
and we rejoice in this reunion. Be at peace.”
I felt so loved, so accepted that my tears shifted from pain to
joy, and I began hugging these little beings, one at a time, as they
filed by, like children lining up for candy. Then, I fell into a deep
sleep.
When I awoke, I was in the tent, wrapped in a sleeping bag.

The birds were singing and shafts of sunlight bored through
chinks in the tent and spotlighted aspects of the space around
me. I sat up and even before I could wriggle out of the sleeping
bag, Aranon was opening the tent door, his smile beaming at me,
almost as bright as the sun.
“Tell me what happened last night was just a dream,” I said,
finally finding a way out of my warm, soft cocoon.
“You would have me lie?” He asked, still smiling.
“Then it wasn’t a dream?”
“Not hardly,” he replied, chuckling. “Come, I have breakfast
ready.”
“I gotta go pee,” I said, unabashed at saying so.
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“Well then, I am sure there must be a place for you to do

that,” he said, motioning toward the nearby woods. “Of course we
are roughing it, so you will have to squat like your biological
ancestors.”
“Okay,” I said, dejectedly, having never been comfortable
with this aspect of roughing it. I padded toward the trees and
found a spot, lowered my jeans and squat. When I finished I felt
unsettled by the lack of tissue and the fact that I had to pull up my
jeans knowing that I would be dribbling in them. I shuddered at
the thought of having to do a bowel movement under these
conditions. I was very glad that the need had yet to arise, but I
dreaded the prospect.
“I wan’a go back after breakfast,” I said, emphatically,
dreading the next call of nature that was sure to come once I had
eaten and moved around a bit.
Aranon laughed, probably guessing at the reason for my
discomfort. “There are some very large leaves,” he said, that are
extremely helpful with personal hygiene. “Let me show you where
they grow, so that you can use them when you need them.”
Again, he chuckled, as he led me back into the forest. He pointed
out a bush with large, soft leaves. “These will not only help you to
cleanse yourself, but they are also slightly antiseptic. “I
apologize,” he said, contritely. “I was hoping that you would
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search for something to meet your need for cleanliness and be

drawn to them automatically. I was wrong. Forgive me.”
“I am not a naturalist,” I said, in defense of my own
ineptitude. “I have never been comfortable in the wild. I guess I
have led a too sheltered life. I am not used to using leaves to
clean myself. I expect toilets and tissue. I guess that is why I have
always hated camping, unless it was at a campground with all the
amenities, primitive as they might be.”
“I can provide that, if it would make you more comfortable,”
he said, contritely.
“Please!” I said, with emphasis. “Otherwise, I just want to go
back now; right away, because I don’t want to do that again! It’s
yucky!”
His laughter echoed through the trees and valley, as he
pulled out his electronic device and began pressing buttons. I
wondered what he had done to take care of his own needs. He
probably had a special little doorway he could go through to take
care of his needs in a civilized fashion.
After a moment a small outhouse like construction appeared
and with a wave of his hand and a bow he said, “Just for you, my
lady.”
“Thanks,” I said, not impressed. I really wanted a bathroom,
not a smelly outhouse.
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“Check it out,” he said, smiling.

“Ok,” I said, still not trusting him. I went to the little shack like
structure and opened the door. Inside was a duplicate of the
bathroom just off my bedroom in the underground center where I
was staying on Anchor. It was bigger inside than outside, just like
the inside of the tri-car. I sighed with relief as I stepped backwards
into the forest clearing where we were camped. I flashed a
grateful smile at him and said, “Thanks, I really appreciate that.”
“I am glad that it meets your expectations,” he said with a
flourish, like a knight form the round table.
My knight in shining armor, my Sir Lancelot, I thought to
myself. At that moment, in spite of his teasing and his
subterfuges, I loved him and felt loved by him. As he led me to the
table, laden with food, I felt this love and a deep trust roll through
me and soften my heart. I felt as though all my dreams were
coming true and I had found the one I had searched for all my life.
The one who cares about how I feel. The one who knows my
needs and seeks to fulfill them. The one who knows my innermost
secrets and still loves me. The one who brings love and laughter
into my life, without strings, without my struggling to manipulate
and contrive to acquire it.
As I sat down at the table, filled with plates of fried eggs and
bacon, stacks of toast and piles of pancakes, a pitcher of syrup
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and another of orange juice, I was filled with such gratitude that
words escaped me. All I could say was “yum” as I ate more
hungrily than I had since I had arrived here in fantasyland. I ate
like a beggar presented with a banquet. I forgot about table
manors and scooped food into my mouth with my hands, taking
time only to smile in gratitude and to take a breath between
hungry bites. It must have been the mountain air and the setting,
but I simply abandoned myself to the pleasure of taste and the act
of placating my unbelievable hunger.
When I was finally full and had pushed myself away from the
table, Aranon said, “I have something special to offer you today.”
“What?” I said, feeling so sated that I just wanted to go lie
down.
“A visit with the Highest Master of the Sengalia. He has
asked if you would give him the pleasure of a visit to his home.”
“Okay,” I said, feeling both confused and honored by the
invitation. “But why would he want me to visit him? I mean, I am
just a crazy Earther.”
Aranon gave me a smile filled with compassion. “Because he
feels that you are his long lost son.”
I tilted my head, thinking that I had heard wrong. “Son?” I
asked feeling even more confused. “In case you hadn’t noticed, I
am a female.”
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“In your present incarnation, yes,” he responded. “But in a

past life, long before the dawn of your present Earth civilization,
you were not a female, you were his son.”
“Things are getting even nuttier than I have been all my life.
This has got to be a dream. This has to be some sort of fantasy
that I am caught up in. I am really in a back ward of the State
Hospital, trussed up in a straight jacket, drooling on myself.”
Aranon gave me another compassionate smile and drew me
to him in a gentle embrace. “I know that you have been in such a
place, and I know that this all must seem like some sort of
deranged psychotic interlude, but trust me, it is not. The Sengalia
didn’t know who your were until last night when you allowed them
to touch you, to embrace you. Once they knew who you were,
they were filled with joy. I had no idea this would occur. I am as
surprised as you are, but I believe them. If they say you are the
reincarnation of the true son of the Most High, I am inclined to
believe it. I have known this race for some time and I have had
the privilege of being taught its history by one of their emissaries.
I also know, beyond any shadow of a doubt, they would never
claim something to be true that is not.
“They claim that they are the first race to achieve sentience,
and I find no facts or even speculations that refute that. As I have
said, they are older and more advanced than any other race we
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have yet encountered. They appear to live simply, like aborigines,

in hovels and caves, and yet they can transport themselves to any
place and time, at will. I know this to be true, for I have
encountered them in many places and many times since we
regenerated their planet. They can create vehicles of
transportation with their will. They can retrieve information that is
irretrievable through any known means, information that can be
validated through scientific investigation. They can see into the
past and the future with an accuracy that is undisputable. If they
say you are the son of the Most High, I believe them, in spite of
the fact that you are presently in a female body that is unlike their
own.”
I felt completely overwhelmed by his statements, and wanted
to just go home. I thought I could trust him, but this was way
beyond my trust level. This had to be a deranged psychotic
fantasy from which I knew I would eventually awaken and find
myself four pointed in a hospital bed, awaiting my next dose of
medication. I began to shake all over and then I either lost
consciousness, or fell and hit my head and knocked myself out.
The next thing I knew, I was laying on some sort of mat and
the Sengalia were all around me, touching me, cooing and singing
in some unknown key. To be sure, as I opened my eyes I
expected doctors or nurses, with hypos, ready to re-medicate me,
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so that I would calm down, or comply or express what was

expected of a normal person. Instead, I found myself surrounded
by these little gray beings. The best way to describe them would
be as a group of hydrocephalic children with gray skin and huge
almond shaped eyes that all blinked in unison. They cooed even
louder as they saw my eyes open. To say the least, I was terrified.
“Oh child of mine, oh son of a past empire of short sighted
ineptitude, forgive us! We did not see the greater vision. We did
not recognize the crystal truth that led you to do what you did. We
could not comprehend that there could be a Guiding Power
beyond the static comprehension of consciousness at that time.
We thought we were adhering to the law, and following the tenets
of our beliefs, for the good of all.” A gray being had pressed
through the throng surrounding me and knelt beside me, his huge
eyes filled with pain and yes, tears, that streamed down his thin
face and dripped from his tiny chin. He placed his hand on my
forehead and I saw images that are beyond description, and felt
emotions that were so intense that I couldn’t breathe as they
flowed through my being.
“Oh my beloved son, so bright, so open to the light, forgive
us our harsh and unbending pomposity.” The being sobbed and
lay it’s huge head on my breast.
To say the least I was frightened and confused.
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Nevertheless, I saw images, experienced feelings and connected

with a consciousness that was beyond my own experience and
comprehension. Then, unbidden by my conscious mind, I spoke
to this being in a language that I didn’t know, and yet knew
exactly what I was saying.
“Dearest Father, forgive yourself, for you were bound by the
laws of the time. I had taken it upon myself to break those laws,
knowing the possibility of consequences. Yet, I was driven by a
need, beyond my power to sublimate, to give birth to a new race,
a race that I knew would one day rise up and teach all races
everywhere a new path, a new way. Let the pain of the past shine
forth and illuminate that path. Let us all forgive, and join together
in the celebration of the birth of a new age and a new
dispensation. Let us join together and save the children of my
foolishness from their own, engendered foolishness. Help them
Father, that they might develop the power to channel their
uniqueness into something new and wonderful. They flounder in
their present state. Believe me when I say this, Father, they are
special beyond all expectations. Help them, for they hurt one
another so easily, and yet they also help one another just as
easily if gently directed, with kindness and love. There is a power
within them beyond anything we ever imagined. Help them find it.
Teach them to use it. I beg you, Father, love these children, for
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they are ever so precious.”

“We will, my beloved son, we will,” said the tearful gray
being, hugging my body with great gentleness, love and
acceptance, “And we will help This One, whom you have become,
for it is time to bring our children home.
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Twelve
Aranon had picked me up and carried me from the midst of

the group of Sengalia, and I was aware of looking up and seeing
the stars shining above me. I was confused and frightened by
what had just occurred. I know that I had spoken to the High
Master and had a clear memory of what I said and what was said
to me, but all of this seemed to transpire in an alternate reality,
where although I was apparently a participant, I felt more like an
observer.
“I’m confused by what just happened,” I said, as Aranon re-
entered our camping area.
“Do you think you can stand?” He asked.
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“I don’t know, “I replied, “I feel all washed out like a used

dishrag. I could try.”
Aranon set me down on my feet and allowed me to stand on
my own, his hands hovering on either side of my body, lest I
seemed as though I may collapse. I was able to stand, but really
wanted to sit down.
“I think I’ll just sit down here on the ground, okay?” I said as I
began to lower myself to the ground. Aranon assisted as I began
to go down just a little faster than I had anticipated. “Thanks,” I
said grateful for his assistance.
“It is probably a normal reaction to what you just experienced
to feel confused,” he said, in response to my earlier comment. “I
think we will go back to the station,” he added, as he began
transporting our equipment and supplies with his device.
“That would be nice,” I replied, feeling out of touch with my
body. “I think I need to talk to the Meathos.”
“Yes,” he stated perfunctorily. He completed his task and
then, again, lifted me into his arms. It was dark, but there were
two moons high in the sky and the landscape was bathed in an
aerie, silvery, half-light. A breeze was blowing through the leaves
of the trees caused them to catch the ambient moonlight and
appear like an extension of the flickering starlight.
“I guess there is no point in asking you to tell me that I just
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dreamed all of that.”

“I can only imagine your confusion and sense of unreality
right now,” he stated softly, giving me a gentle and understanding
look. “I too am still attempting to process the meaning of it all.”
“Really?” I asked, incredulous. It was hard to imagine
Aranon being overwhelmed by anything. “I guess this was an
unexpected turn of events for you too, huh?”
“Indeed,” he replied. Obviously he was not prepared to
discuss the event, and seemed to be as confused as I was.
For a time he walked silently, as though processing his
feelings and observations. Then, he stopped and looked down at
me, and a gentle smile swept across his face in the silvery light.
“I want you to know that I am honored to be the one to
facilitate your personal awakening. I also want you to know that
nothing has changed as far as your process and how you will be
treated,” he stated.
“Okay,” I responded, even more confused. “So, what are you
saying?”
Instead of responding to my question, he gave me a gentle
hug, filled with emotion, as tears flooded his eyes. Then,
unexpectedly, he kissed my forehead. Then, after looking up at
the stars and giving a deep sigh, he said, “I think we will transport
the rest of the way. I think we are both weary, and yet have only
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come about half way. It would probably be best if you had a meal
and some rest before we continue with your process.”
“Sure,” I replied. I didn’t know what to think or feel about his
shift in attitude and his sudden emotionalism. I was definitely
hungry though and so I was not inclined to argue. Obviously we
had spent a whole lot more time with the Sengalia than it had
seemed.
He took out his little device and pressed buttons and
suddenly we were back in my room. He placed me in a chair by
the table and began to program a meal for me, all without
comment. For some reason this made me feel as though he were
upset with me. I had yet to experience this quiet side of him, and it
felt uncomfortable.
“Did I do something wrong?” I asked as he placed a
steaming plate of faux fried chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy
and sliced green beans before me on the table.
His face was a mask of confused emotion as he placed his
hand on my head. Then he gave me a look filled with love and
compassion. “Of course not,” he replied, gently touching his
fingers to my face and looking deeply into my eyes. “I too am
overwhelmed by the events of this day and need some time to
debrief with my Director. Until I am able to do this, I must confess,
I will remain a bit befuddled. Please, forgive me.”
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Kerry Dennis
“Something really important happened, didn’t it?” I asked,

feeling a little scared by his obvious confusion.
“Yes,” he replied. “Please, don’t be frightened by this.”
“Oh yeah,” I retorted, almost angrily, but not quite. “You get
all weird, the strong and focused Aranon, and I’m not supposed to
be scared?”
“This was an unprecedented event,” he explained, sitting
down in the other chair. He seemed nervous, fidgety. “I was
unprepared. It has nothing to do with you.”
“Easy for you to say,” I responded, still upset by his unusual
behavior. I picked up a chicken leg and took a bite in spite of my
feelings, still so hungry that nothing seemed more important than
filling my stomach. “Actually, I think it has everything to do with
me, and you don’t know how to treat me now,” I said around a
mouth full of food.
“Okay,” he admitted, “you are right. I am a bit perplexed by
what has occurred. I am unsure how to proceed. Sometimes even
I need assistance with my feelings.”
“Thanks for being honest with me,” I responded, feeling
compassion for him. Obviously he knew more about the
ramifications concerning what happened than he was saying, and
what he knew was actually scaring him. At least that is how it
looked to me.
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“I apologize for not being honest about my feelings. I didn’t

want you to loose trust in me and that was wrong. My confusion
and emotionalism must seem really scary to you. I have to be
honest again and say that I have yet to encounter anything quite
like this before and am at a loss as to how to proceed. I wanted
you to think that nothing had changed, but, as you have so
astutely surmised, I am unable to attain my previous perspective.
Please, forgive me.” He bowed his head and I was overwhelmed
by his apparent shame.
I reached out my hand and placed it on his hands, clasped
tightly on the tabletop. I wanted to tell him everything was okay,
but I knew that everything had changed and didn’t quite know how
to respond to that either. I didn’t even understand what had really
happened, who the Sengalia really were or why they thought I
was some long lost relative. I mean I was human and nothing like
them. Obviously I was Earth born, of human parents. This
reincarnation stuff was not something I was able to easily
accommodate unless I needed an excuse for the feeling that I
didn’t belong.
“It’s okay, go see Dorn, or whomever it is that you need to
see. I’m just gon’a eat and then maybe I will go and visit with the
Meathos. Okay?”
“Yes, that would be a good thing,” he replied, softly. “I am
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sure that they will take care of you and help you to understand.”
“Fine,” I said, still shoveling food into my mouth, my hunger
barely touched by what I had already consumed. I had decided
that I would ask for a second helping once he left. “Go, I’m okay.”
Aranon stood and turned toward the door. Then, as if he had
forgotten something, he turned back to me.
“I’ll be back as soon as I can.” He said.
I nodded, still stuffing food in my mouth. I couldn’t remember
ever being so hungry as I had been since this experience. He
went to the door and left. The room seemed suddenly so empty
as the door closed, and I felt tears welling up in my eyes.
What’s going on? I thought, as I continued to gobble my
dinner. Why is Aranon so upset? Why am I so hungry? Why all of
a sudden do I feel abandoned?
I finished my plate of food and was about to tell the
synthesizer to give me another plate of the same when something
stopped me. I stood, in a state of indecision, when I felt the
Meathos calling me. I walked to the pool and then into it, sitting
down. As I did so my hunger subsided and I felt very sleepy. I lay
down within the Meathos.
Almost instantly the angel Meestra came to me, scooped me
up in her arms, and together we flew to that special place, like
Heaven, where we were instantly surrounded by hoards of angels
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singing and touching me. Beyond that, I have no conscious

memory.
I awoke in the bed with Aranon sitting beside me in the chair,

his eyes were closed, and his hands were clasped together under
his chin, as though he were praying. He must have sensed that I
had awakened, for his eyes opened and he smiled at me.
“How are you feeling?” He asked.
“I’m okay, I guess. How are you feeling?”
“Thank you for asking,” he replied, softly. “I’m more focused,
and more at peace with my position. Are you ready to do some
more work?
“I guess,” I said. “What are we going to work on?”
He shifted in the chair, his face seemed a little uncertain. “I
thought that we would take a different tack this time and visit the
life you had just previous to this one, so that we could get a look
at what transpired that set you up for the conditions in your
present incarnation.” He appeared to be quite serious.
“You’re joking, aren’t you?” I asked, uncertain about the
validity of such a thing.
“No,” he smiled, realizing that I was not ready to believe that
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I had lived a former life. “I think that it is important for you to

recognize that your consciousness, that part of you that you
identify as being who you are, existed before your present
incarnation.”
“That’s bull,” I said, although I was now uncertain that my
cherished beliefs were as true as I had thought. “People on my
planet only live one life,” I stated, trying to make a case for my
beliefs. “I don’t know about your people, but my people just live
once. That’s why Jesus came to save us from our sin. We only
get one chance.”
“Uh huh,” he said, his voice dropping on the ‘huh’, as if to
say, silly girl, you just think you know the truth about this. “Well,
lets just see what happens, okay?”
“How can I be sure that you aren’t feeding me information
that isn’t real? How can I be sure that what I will experience is not
contrived to make me believe in something I know isn’t true?”
“Do you really feel that the Meathos would mislead you?” he
asked, his face filled with concern.
“I don’t know,” I cried, bursting into tears. “I am feeling so
confused, I just don’t know what to believe!” I covered my face
with my hands as I sobbed deeply, the events of the last few days
whirling around in my mind.
Aranon reached out and stroked my head. “Just allow the
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Meathos to calm you. You needn’t voyage to the past until you
are ready. You will never be forced to do anything you do not
want to.”
“I am feeling so afraid, so overwhelmed,” I said, still crying.
“I understand,” he said, softly, still stroking my hair. “Really, I
do. Just allow the Meathos to calm you, ok?”
“Ok,” I sobbed.
“All right then,” he said, helping me up, “just sit in the pool for
a few minutes.”
He walked me to the pool and I stepped in and sat down in
the Meathos. Almost immediately my fear subsided and I slowly
relaxed. I felt bathed in warmth. I looked up at Aranon, and he
smiled and nodded.
“Better?” He asked.
“Yes,” I said.
I thought about his question as to whether the Meathos
would mislead me. At the moment, I didn’t think they would and
yet I wasn’t sure I was willing to believe that I had lived previous
lives. If I had, then what happened out in the Anchor wilderness,
with those little gray people, just might have some validity. If it did,
then somehow, at some distant point in the past, I was related to
those little people. Could that actually be true? The High Master
was convinced that I am the reincarnation of his long lost son.
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While I was with him I spoke to him as though I knew that was
true. The words that I spoke were not mine and yet they came
from me, words that acknowledged that I was his son. How could
that be? I needed to know more. If I allow the Meathos to take me
to a past life, if such exists, would that help me to understand? All
I could do now was trust and see.
“Okay,” I said, “I am ready to do that past life thing. I don’t
believe in it, but I am willing to trust you and give it the benefit of
the doubt.”
Aranon smiled. “I commend you for your courage,” he said,
“and if you like, I will join you in the pool instead of connecting
through the interface.”
“Will you be able to experience what ever happens, with me,
if you do?”
“I will be with you, as an observer, but I will not experience
what you experience, no. But I will be able to guide you, and to
retrieve you quickly in case the experience becomes too intense.”
“Okay,” I said, I would like that.”
Aranon got into the pool with me and together we both lay
down and immersed ourselves in the Meathos. Almost
immediately, we were transported to another place and time.
I was standing in an old fashioned kitchen, and before me
stood a man, a woman and a little girl of about five or six. The
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man was speaking, but I couldn’t understand what he was saying.

Then, suddenly, his words became quite clear.
“I have a present for each of you, for your birthday,” said the
man. He pulled a box from his jacket pocket and handed it to me.
“This is your gift, Poppet, may it see you through these difficult
times.”
I took the box and opened it. Inside was a book of poetry.
No, it was a book of prayers. It was The Child’s Book of Prayers
and passages from the Torah. Somehow I knew what it was and
was deeply touched by the gift. Tears filled my eyes and I hugged
the man’s legs and told him that I was grateful. I was as small as
the little girl who waited for her own gift.
“Where is my gift, Papa?” She asked, as she danced around
him impatiently.
“Ah, I know I had it,” he said, smiling and teasing, as he felt
his pockets for a second gift. “Hum,” he said, “I know I brought it
home.”
“Where is my gift, Papa?” She repeated excitedly.
“I suppose I must have put it somewhere, I guess we will
have to search for it.”
“Where shall I search?” She asked, already looking in
cabinets and under furniture.
“Ah, yes,” he said, laughing, “I remember now. I put it under
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your bed.” He laughed loudly as she ran from the room.

“Oh Papa!” I heard her exclaim from the other room. She ran
into the kitchen with a doll. It was an old fashioned doll with a
head that looked like it was made from wood, the eyes opened
and closed, and when the doll was turned upside-down it said
“Ma-ma”. “Oh, Papa, she is wonderful! I will call her Gering
Mädchen (Little Girl).”
“That is a good name for her, Jennifer,” he said. You are so
special I thought you needed a special friend to protect you and
listen to your secrets.”
There was a knock at the door and all of us jumped, as
though something terrible were about to happen. Papa went to
the door, peeked through the curtain and then opened it. A man
slipped in quickly, his face wreathed in fear.
“We must go now, Herr Doktor, if you and your family are
going to make it out of the city undetected. The SS are going door
to door. They are arresting all the Jews. You are no longer safe,
we must go, now!”
We gathered packages and bags that were sitting on the
floor by the door, and followed the man out the door and down
wooden steps to a car that looked like it was made in the 1920’s,
and got into the back seat. The man drove as we all scrunched
down on the floor of the back seat, so that we would not be seen.
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We drove for what seemed like hours, and my body was

becoming cramped from hunching down with my twin sister
beneath me on the floorboards. Finally, the car stopped.
“This is as far as I dare take you, Herr Doktor. If you walk
northeast, you can reach Austria in just a few days. I wish I could
take you the whole way, but I would be missed and my family
would be in danger. May God protect you.”
We all got out and my parents hugged the man and he then
sped away, leaving us in the woods, darker than a cave and twice
as cold. We trudged off through the snow. Earlier we had been
instructed to put on layers of clothes and socks and Papa had
purchased shoes for us all that were a size larger than normal, so
that our feet would fit into them. Nevertheless, it was very cold,
and after many hours of walking through the dark and frightening
forest, we found a cave and huddled together, as Papa gave each
of us bread and cheese to eat.
“Meathos,” thought Aranon, although it seemed like he
spoke aloud, “take us forward three days.”
Suddenly we were huddled under a bridge, and my parents
each held one of us, placing a hand over our mouths to insure
that we remained silent. Above us, two soldiers smoked and
laughed about a woman they had been with the night before.
Then, one of the soldiers noticed footprints in the snow below the
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bridge. They decided to investigate. As they were preparing to

descend the embankment to the frozen river below, Papa nodded
and both he and Mama each picked us up and began to run the
other direction, down the icy bank. My father had me and my
mother had Jennifer. At first I thought we would get away, around
the bend before they saw us, but then I heard the crack of a gun
being fired, and my father fell on top of me and together we slid
across the ice. I felt my father’s breath on the back of my neck as
he spoke, weakly, his voice gurgling as though he had a terrible
cold. “You are the man now, my son,” he said, choking. Then he
went limp, his weight crushing my body into the freezing ice.
After what seemed like forever, his body was lifted off me,
and I was pulled up by one arm and dragged back toward the
river bank where my mother stood holding my sister tightly,
sobbing, while the other soldier held a gun on her.
“Take the children to the truck and bind them,” said the
soldier that held me, and then he tossed me to the ground before
the other soldier. He then grabbed Jennifer from my mother’s
arms and tossed her to the ground beside me, like a sack of
grain. She screamed and then sobbed. I put my arms around her
and comforted her, taking on my new role as man of the family. I
knew better than to speak.
Then the other soldier put his gun over his shoulder, sliding
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his arm through the strap, and picked us up, each by an arm, and
dragged us up the embankment as we both sobbed. The first
soldier then took my mother away, but as we were being tied up, I
heard her screams. They seemed to go on and on, and Jennifer
and I, shocked and terrified, could only sit and listen, and sob.
Then, there was another crack of a gun. The screams stopped.
Silence hung in the cold dampness of the back of the truck, and
both Jennifer and I were afraid to even breathe. Then there was
the sound of footsteps on the frozen ground outside the truck as
the other soldier returned and then hopped into the driver’s seat.
He started the truck and drove on down the frozen road. We knew
then that our mother was dead. We were alone now, and I was
the man. I took Jennifer into my arms and held her as tears
silently slipped from our eyes.
“Meathos,” thought Aranon again, “move forward another
three days.”
Suddenly, we were in a dark place, filled with people and the
sounds of praying and crying, and of metal wheels on metal
tracks, clacking and clacking. Jennifer and I were tied together,
back to back. We sat in dirty hay, cold and hungry, thirsty and
frightened. Each time that Jennifer fell over, I pulled her up. An
old bearded man, maybe a Rabbi, dipped the cover of a gold
watch into a bucket of water that hung on a wall and gently gave
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Jennifer and I sips of water from it. He had tried to untie us, but
each hour the train would stop and soldiers would open the doors
and toss those who had died into the snow, refill the water
buckets with snow and then would tie us up once again, so he left
us tied. We were a package for Doktor Mengela, and were not to
be separated. We were twins, and Mengela wanted twins. He had
plans for us, if we survived the journey.
Again, the train stopped and we all expected the soldiers to
come and toss out the dead and refill the buckets, but instead,
soldiers began pulling all of us off the train and herding us all
toward a bleak-looking compound surrounded with razor wire.
Jennifer and I couldn’t get up, as we were tied together, and she
was too weak to stand. A soldier picked us both up by our tethers
and hauled us toward a brick building, set off from the area
surrounded in razor wire. As soon as he entered the building he
dropped us on a cold tile floor, signed some sort of paperwork on
a clipboard and left. The room was warmer than the train, and we
sat there, tied together, looking around us, terrified by what might
happen next.
A door opened and a nurse entered and untied us. She
checked us both over and then told us to get up. I was able to, but
Jennifer was too weak. The nurse picked her up. We must have
been around six years old, but we didn’t weigh much. Then she
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took my hand and took us into a large ward, filled with white metal
beds and hollow eyed children with shaven heads, staring blankly.
The nurse took us to some sort of examination room where she
undressed us and then looked us over. After that we were bathed
in a huge metal tub filled with warm water, and then after that our
heads were shaved. Then we were led to another room, where a
man in white forced us into chairs with straps and then strapped
down our arms to the arms of the chairs. After that numbers were
tattooed on our arms with white-hot pain as we screamed and
sobbed.
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Thirteen
Aranon stood beside me in an exercise yard behind the

experimental compound at Auschwitz. Here there were high chain
link fences, topped with razor wire, but across the dirt road, the
camp was surrounded with rolls of razor wire only. As I looked
across the muddy, slush and ice filled dirt road in the dim early
morning light, I saw banks of crude wooden buildings that
stretched as far as I could see through the foggy mists. Along the
fence stood gaunt, hollow-eyed people in gray and white stripped
uniforms, all sexless with their shaven heads, as they waited for
their only meal of the day. My heart was breaking, as I lifted my
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eyes to the two tall, yellowish brick smoke stacks that released
the smoke from the crematoriums. I knew this place, but how
could that be?
“How can this be?” I asked, as tears flowed from my eyes.
After the painful tattooing, Aranon had pulled me from the
body that I had connected with through the Meathos. He stood
beside me now, as we investigated the place where I allegedly
spent the last days of my previous life.
“Within each being, every living thing, there is what is called
a Permanent Atom,” he replied, after a pregnant silence
punctuated only by the sound of the trucks moving on the muddy
road between the two compounds. “Upon that Permanent Atom is
etched every experience that it has encountered since it first
individuated at the dawn of Creation. As the body or the vehicle
dies, that Permanent Atom is released, to await the magnetic call
of a forming vehicle, a developing body of expression. That Atom
never dies, although there might be lengthy periods of waiting for
just the right vehicle, just the right genetic circumstances to meet
its needs.”
“But there are more people alive in my time than have ever
lived in all the civilizations throughout history, so how do you
explain that?” I asked, feeling that I had him there.
“Are you certain of that?” He responded, gently.
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“Well, that’s what the sociologists and archeologists say,” I

countered.
“Are you aware that there have been at least 3 major
civilizations on Earth before the last Ice Age?”
“There is no proof of that,” I said, holding tight to my beliefs.
“The proofs are there, but your science is not yet advanced
enough to uncover them,” he replied. “Nevertheless, there are
thousands of planets, just within your own Milky Way galaxy, that
have the capability to sustain sentient life, and the number of
Permanent Atoms in the universe is as numerous as the grains of
sand upon a thousand sea shores.”
“Oh, yeah,” I replied angrily. “You can say just about
anything and I have no way to refute it. After all, your race is a
heck of a lot more advanced than my race.”
“Ahh,” he said. He gave me a gentle smile and I realized that
because of that advancement maybe he did know things I could
not, things that my present civilization had yet to discover.
“Ok,” I replied, feeling put in my place. “Still, it’s really hard to
believe. I mean it goes against everything I’ve been taught.”
“And yet if you had been raised and educated in India or
China, your perceptions about reincarnation would probably be
quite different.”
“But this,” I said, with a sweep of my hand toward the camp
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across the road, “this is really hard to believe. I mean I was born
the day the war was over. How could I have been here too?”
“It could be that because you are an advanced soul you
returned vary rapidly after the death of your last vehicle, into a
new physical vehicle. There are other reasons you may have
returned quickly, like the possibility that you had unfinished
business to attend to that could not wait until this past life
experience was nothing but a distant memory in the
consciousness of your race.”
“Okay, but I am a boy here, how can that be?”
“The soul has no gender, that is something that only the
physical body requires for the propitiation of the race. The soul
has no need to reproduce, as all the permanent atoms ever
created still exist and will continue to exist until the Creator recalls
them all Home. You have been both male and female throughout
your many life experiences.”
“So,” I said, feeling a little queasy, “I really could be that little
gray guy’s long lost son?”
“Yes, you could very well be.”
“Can we stop now?”
“We could, but we will eventually have to return, for we have
yet to complete this process and discover the event or events that
generated the pattern for your present life.”
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“Well, it’s pretty obvious that my last life was terribly

traumatic, isn’t that enough?”
“No,” he said, gently. “I realize that this is difficult for you and
that you would rather not face these events. Nevertheless, in
order to defuse a non-progressive pattern, it is necessary to
understand its origins. Appropriate shifts in conscious must be
self-generated. In order to accomplish this, it is necessary to
release the energy of the trauma or traumas that generated the
distortions in consciousness that hold the non-progressive pattern
in place.”
“Yeah, right.”
Aranon gave me a smile, and placed his hand gently on my
shoulder. We stood there for a long while, watching the camp
across the road as the inmates were fed and led off in groups to
toil at whatever the Nazi soldiers had in store for them. After a
time, smoke began rising from the smoke stacks and a
sickeningly sweet smell began to permeate the air. All I wanted to
do was go home, to my miserable life with parents that didn’t
understand me. At least I ate regular meals and could take long
walks while listening to music on my portable radio. At least I
didn’t have to face the horrors of living on the edge of death
because of the prejudices of others, or to be dehumanized and
tortured, ceaselessly, without hope.
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“How could anyone ever feel good about life after

experiencing this?” I asked, as tears streamed down my face, a
sense of hopelessness becoming an all-consuming fire within my
heart.
“On the other hand, how could anyone, having survived
such horror, not hold life as a gift, to be cherished and enjoyed?”
He replied, his face a study in deep compassion and love.
Once again I was the six-year-old Poppet, lying in a white

steel bed with high sidebars, like a cage without a top, like a white
metal prison. The lights had come on, and one at a time we were
taken from our bed-cages, dressed in white uniforms and led to a
large room where we were fed. There was porridge and milk. I
wondered why we were fed so well, when just across the road,
others slowly starved.
After breakfast we were led to another large room with tables
surrounded with chairs, and upon the tables were stacks of
picture books, puzzles, paper and pencils. Around the room were
shelves of toys. We were told to sit and given a book or a puzzle,
and then left to sit. For the first time I began to look at the children
around me. They sat silently, some looked at the books, some put
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together puzzles, but no one moved from the chair they were
seated in, and no one talked.
Some of the children had deformities. Some had large scars
on their heads; some were missing limbs, eyes, and other parts of
their bodies. Each had a twin, usually beside them. Jennifer sat
two seats away from me, sullen, silent, in shock just as I was. As
the result of this shock I just sat, studying the room and it’s
occupants. In each corner of the room sat a matronly woman in
white, watching us. When one of the children made a noise,
sternness would roll across their faces, their eyes on the
perpetrator. Silence resumed.
Then, men in white came in and gathered a set of twins and
took them away. This was repeated until only Jennifer and I sat
alone at the table. Finally, a man in white came for us, taking
each of us by the hand and leading us to another part of the
building and into a small room where another man sat at a table.
“Sitzen sie,” (you sit) commanded the man, and motioned us
to chairs on the opposite side of the table. We sat.
“I will ask you questions and you will answer quickly. If you
do not answer quickly, you will be punished.” This was a
statement, and there didn’t seem to be any response required.
He asked us each to count as high as we could, but stopped
us at around thirty, seemingly satisfied that we were capable of
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counting. Then he showed us words, and we were asked to read

them. Some we could read, some we could not. At first I was
frightened that we would be punished for not knowing some of the
words, but we were not. Maybe because we told him that we
didn’t know the word instead of not answering.
Then he began to ask us questions. What is your name?
How old are you? Are you a Jew? What did your father do? What
did your mother do? Did you go to school? Question after
question. Finally, he split us up, Jennifer at one end of the table,
me at the other, and a tall board was placed between us, so that
we could not observe one another. Then we were asked to either
draw pictures or look at pictures. First I was shown a picture, and
Jennifer was asked to draw one. Then Jennifer was shown a
picture and I was asked to draw one. Then we were asked to
choose colored blocks from a stack in front of us and put them in
a row across the table before us.
“Meathos,” thought Aranon, “Move forward seven days.”
Suddenly, I was strapped in a chair, my arms strapped down
tight and an IV was carrying something into a vein in my arm. I
was being told to go to Jennifer, which I seemed to be able to do
easily. I stood before her, where she too was strapped into a
chair, and I spoke to her and told her not to be afraid. I then, on
the command of the tester, entered her mind. She recognized me
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and I held her, as if we were back in our room, in our beds, and I
was telling her that I loved her.
“Meathos,” thought Aranon, again, “Move forward seven
more days.”
A man was talking to me, but he was not a tester or a doctor,
he was an SS officer in a crisp, clean dress uniform. He identified
himself as Herr Richter. He spoke to me gently, kindly. He asked
if I would come with him, to his home. I was afraid not to comply,
so I said yes.
He took me in his car, a big black car with running boards
and swastikas painted on the sides and on flags that were affixed
to the front behind the headlights. We drove for a long time, and
all the while he asked me many things, like had I ever flown a kite,
and did I like trains. Finally we arrived at a huge castle-like
mansion, on a hill, overlooking a blue river that ran like a ribbon
through a green valley below.
Once inside he instructed a manservant to attend to me. I
was taken up a winding staircase into a large room with huge
windows and French doors opening on to a balcony. I was taken
into a large bathroom, undressed and then bathed in a tub filled
with steamy water covered with foamy bubbles. I was given a
boat to play with while I was scrubbed from head to toe. Then, I
was dressed in a fine suit of clothes, consisting of knickers and
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high topped hose, a white, starched shirt, a tie and a jacket. Then
I was led back down the winding staircase to a formal dining
room, where a long table surrounded with high backed chairs,
was laden with foods that I had never seen. Rolls in baskets,
butter and cheeses, pitchers of milk and bowls of fruit, steaming
hunks of cooked meat, bowls of vegetables, all awaiting my
choosing. I ate like the starving child I was, enjoying myself
immensely. I had never eaten such a dinner, not even at home
with my mother and father.
After dinner he took me into a room and showed me
cartoons, projected on the wall, something I had never seen. After
that he took me upstairs again, to a large room filled with tables of
electric trains, whose tracks ran through miniature towns and
forests, as whistles blew and smoke puffed from tiny smoke
stacks on the engines. I was filled with delight and wonder and
laughed and chattered like a normal six-year-old having fun. Often
Herr Richter would hug me and laugh delightedly at my
enthusiasm and joy.
Then he took me to another room, a child’s room, filled with
books and toys and a huge soft bed where he said I could stay
the night. On the shelf was a picture of a boy my age that looked
like me. Both Jennifer and I were blond and blue eyed, taking
after our full-blooded German mother. This little boy had a
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winsome face, laughing blue eyes, blond hair that was feathered
by a breeze and a mouth that was pulled up on one side in a half
smile. I asked him about the boy and he balked, his eyes filling
with tears.
“My son,” he said, picking up the black and white photo and
caressing it lovingly. “He died last year, in Leipzig, during an air
raid.” Then he took the photo away with him after he told me to
get undressed and go to bed.
“Meathos,” thought Aranon, once again, “Move forward
seven more days.”
I had been living at the mansion with Herr Richter for a
week. He had told me that he loved me and wanted to adopt me. I
asked him about my sister.
“Will you adopt her too?” I asked.
“Forget her, she is not your concern,” he stated flatly.
“She is my sister, my blood, and I am her brother, the man in
the family now. I must take care of her. I have been away from
her too long.”
“It is you I want, not your sister,” he said sternly. “You must
forget her. You must forget your past. You must deny your
Judaism, and become a Lutheran, like your adoptive father. I will
accept nothing less!”
“I cannot Herr Richter!” I said with deep conviction. “She is
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my sister, and I must care for her, my Papa told me I must!” For
the first time since our capture and internment in Auschwitz I was
suddenly very concerned about Jennifer, whom I had not seen in
over a week. “I miss her,” I said, “she needs me.”
“I need you!” he shouted and threw his napkin on the table,
angrily, where we were eating breakfast. He stood up, glaring at
me. “Renounce her, renounce your Judaism! Now!”
“I can not!” I shouted back, boldly, ignorant of the chance I
was taking by doing so.
He came around the table and pulled me from my chair. I
was shocked and frightened by this. He pulled down my knickers,
as if to spank me, but instead lifted me up and laid my upper body
on the table, my bear legs dangling off the edge.
“Do you want me to show you what Jew Dogs are for?” He
shouted, crazy with anger. My only response was to cry and beg
for him to stop. “You are nothing as a Jew, nothing! You are a
thing to be used!” Then, although I didn’t know what he was doing
at the time, he anally raped me, and I screamed in pain and
horror.
When he was finished he tossed me on the floor and called
the manservant. I was gathered up, taken upstairs and placed in
my old dirty clothes and then Herr Richter took me back to the
compound at Auschwitz. All the way back he continued to berate
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me, calling me an animal, scum, a filthy Jew Dog. I was afraid to

cry now, as we drew near the compound, for each time I did he
would stop the car and pull me out and rape me again, laying my
upper body across the front bumper of the car.
When we arrived back at the compound he called a group of
soldiers over and told then to have their way with me and I was
raped throughout that night and then dumped, unceremoniously,
in the front hall of the research compound. A nurse retrieved me
and took me to my bed. Jennifer stood beside my bed, looking
thin and gaunt, her eyes hollow, saying nothing, just staring at
me. Her clothes hung on her like rags and her eyes seemed
dead. I sobbed as I saw her. Still, she just stood, unmoving, and
unmoved by my emotion. She was too weak and terrified to cry.
“Meathos,” thought Aranon, once again, “Move forward
twenty four hours.”
I stood, wracked with physical and emotional pain, at the
fence in the exercise yard, looking out through the chain link
fence at the smoke stacks across the muddy road thinking,
“Tomorrow, I’ll be smoke.”
Later that day, Jennifer and I were taken and strapped to
tables. We had been injected with a drug and from what I could
gather from what was being said around me, they were going to
do an experiment to see whether if they killed one of us while we
215
were linked psychically through the use of drugs, if the other

would die as well.
I knew that our lives were about to end. I prayed for my
Papa’s forgiveness for not caring for Jennifer. I prayed that God
would forgive me for allowing Herr Richter to fool me with gifts
and food and false happiness so that I would turn from Him. But I
did not! I told myself, over and over, terrified by what I knew would
soon come.
Finally, the test began, and instead of hurting me, they hurt
Jennifer, cutting her abdomen open only to do nothing but let her
die as I tried in vain to pull her to me, to save her from the pain.
But she refused to come to me. She was angry and hurt by my
abandonment of her and like a sulky child; she kept pulling away
from me. She died, and I couldn’t save her! Then, as sort of a final
painful indignity, at the urging of Herr Richter, who stood and
watched, my genitals were cut off, and I was allowed to slowly
bleed to death, as he shouted at me, “You will never be a man
now!”
Then, suddenly, as if nothing at all had happened, Jennifer
and I stood in the hallway outside of the testing rooms. We were
surprised by this, and I drew her to me and hugged her and told
her that I had refused to leave her and that this is why all this had
happened. She hugged me back and told me that she forgave
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me. Then a bright and shining being came to us. He smiled softly
as he picked us both up and walked into a tunnel of light.
The next thing I knew, I was lying in my bed on Ancore, and
Aranon was in the chair next to the bed waiting for me to awaken.
His face was filled with sadness and compassion.
“Is it over?” I asked, feeling wrung out, spent.
“Yes,” he said, as a tear slipped from his eye, “it’s over.”
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Fourteen
“You know that we are going to have to discuss this past life
experience in order to put everything in it’s proper perspective,
Christy,” he said to me, sitting at the table with me as I ate
breakfast.
“I don’t know if I can do that right now,” I replied, playing with
my food.
Hunger seemed to be the last thing on my mind, but I had
agreed to try to eat something, because Aranon explained that
intense emotional pain for a sustained period of time could
deplete the body. I felt depleted and yet I felt as though I didn’t
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deserve to be fed while millions were, even today, being deprived

of even the basic sustenance.
“Okay, but the sooner we get at this, the more we will be
able to accomplish.”
“What difference does it make?” I replied, sullenly.
“Ah,” he said, his face somber, “that is the point. The sooner
you can see how the pieces of the puzzle fit together, the greater
the difference it can make.”
“Damn it!” I shouted, dropping my spoon and getting up from
my chair. “Can’t you just leave me alone for just a couple of days?
What is it with you? Do you get off seeing me writhe in pain?” I
balled up my fists and glared at him, angrily. “Go away, damn it!
Just go away!”
“I understand your pain and you have every reason to be
angry,” he said, remaining seated, remaining calm. “Let me help
you with this. It will do no good to put this off, for in doing so you
just make it that much more difficult to clear the emotions. The
more you suppress it, the worse it will get, believe me.”
“I just want some peace!” I cried, doubling over and sobbing
deeply. Slowly I lowered myself to the floor, aching inside as
though I were on fire in my gut.
“I know,” he responded, moving from his chair to my side,
smoothing back my hair and placing his hand on the feverish back
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of my neck. “Please, let me help you with this, Christy. It isn’t

necessary for you to remain in such pain. At least let me take you
to the Meathos.”
“No!” I shouted, and then screamed, “every time I go to the
Meathos, things just get worse!” I continued to sob, loudly.
Suddenly, there was a shift in me, and the screams stopped.
Someone else had emerged; to protect me, I suppose.
“Don’t touch me,” a voice shouted from my mouth in a
commanding voice. I pulled away from Aranon. “I warn you, I
don’t care how big you are, I can still scratch your eyes out!”
Aranon moved back a few feet, and then returned to his
chair. He remained silent for a few moments, re-evaluating the
situation. He now realized he was dealing with another aspect of
my personality.
“Do you have a name?” He asked gently, exuding
calmness.
“I’m nobody you want to tangle with, you freaking giant! I’m
mean and I’m strong and I won’t take any shit from you or
anybody, I don’t care how big you are!”
“What would you like me to call you?” He persisted.
“The Bitch!”
Aranon smiled, obviously suppressing a laugh.
“I am sure that you are quite formidable as the protector of
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this system and that the name you have chosen is appropriate,
according to your thinking,“ he responded. “But I would really like
to call you something a little less demeaning. I think you deserve
that much, don’t you?”
This alternate aspect had to stop and think about that. If the
truth be told, she had never confronted someone who was
concerned about whether or not she was demeaned. In fact, in
most cases, she had been wrestled to the floor and shot full of
drugs by burly aids. This was not like any hospital she had ever
been in.
“Where is this?” She asked, relaxing her stance a little, but
holding her anger in reserve, just in case.
“This is Anchor Station Reorientation Center. I am Aranon,
and I only desire to assist you, not to control you or overpower
you.”
“Well that’s a switch,” she said, taken aback. “Why is Christy
so upset then?”
“Because she has just connected with a memory that is
extremely painful, and is afraid to continue because she fears she
may become trapped in the pain,” he explained.
“Well,” said the alter, thrusting her chin out and tightening
her fists, “is that something she needs to be afraid of?”
“No,” replied Aranon, calmly. “Actually, the situation is just
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the opposite. If she refuses to face the pain and work through it,
things will only get worse. All I want to do is to assist her in
releasing the pain, not in compounding it.”
“Well that’s Christy,” said the alter, “a real wimp!”
“Wimp?” Asked Aranon, unfamiliar with the term.
“A fraidycat. She runs from or freezes up in the face of
anything that makes her feel. She has no guts. A real gutless
wonder.”
“I see,” he replied. “So how do I help her with that without
making things worse, without frightening her more?”
“Maybe you need to tell me what this is all about,” she
replied.
“Only if you are willing to give me a name to call you by that
isn’t demeaning to you.”
“Okay, you can call me Kerry, but if you fuck with me buster,
I’ll hurt you, got that?”
“Agreed,” replied Aranon, smiling at her brashness. “The
reason you are both here is because Christy attempted a
meditation that had the potential of scattering your atoms
throughout the universe. We interceded, and offered to assist her,
every part of her, even you in fact. We offer to assist you in
discovering your true potential and harnessing it so that you can
not only live a more rewarding life, but also assist others in doing
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Kerry Dennis
the same. Part of this process is visiting your past and looking at
the traumas that shattered your consciousness and emotions,
reevaluating them and your perceptions of them, so that you can
move past them. We also desire to restore to you the innate
power you have within you to heal your inner wounds and reclaim
your true potential.”
“Sounds like a bunch of gobbledygook to me,” she replied.
“Okay,” smiled Aranon, “So tell me, Kerry, what is your
heart’s desire?”
“To be free of inner pain and strong enough to keep others
from hurting us again.”
“Good,” he replied, “and that is exactly what we are offering
you.”
“What do you mean, WE?” she asked, snidely, as this was
her way. “What, you got a mouse in your pocket?”
“I mean those of us here at Anchor Station who are involved
in the process of your healing.”
“Not my healing, Troll. Christy may need it, the littles may
need it, but I am just fine thank you.”
“Okay,” replied Aranon, amiably. “But I may need your help.”
“Okay,” she said, thinking this over. “But I rule, got that?”
“Of course.” He smiled conspiratorially.
“So, Gargantua, how can I help?”
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“Well,” he said, thinking on how best she could facilitate the

release of the most recent experience. “I need to get her in that
pool there,” he replied, motioning toward the Meathos.
“What for?” She asked, looking at the pool.
“Because it is not water but rather a medium through which
she can release her fear without harming herself.”
“Really?” She asked, walking toward the pool. “Like what is it
then?”
“It is a living substance that can calm and emotionally
support an individual while reconnecting them to the memories
that they need to face in order to heal,” he replied, honestly.
She had reached the edge of the pool. “Pretty advanced
stuff,” she said, sitting down on the edge of the pool and swishing
her hand through the Meathos. “Who thought that up?” Even as
her hand touched the Meathos, a smile swept across her face. “It
feels strange, but nice.”
“It’s called the Meathos, and we discovered it in our travels
to other planets. It is sentient, and deeply caring. It volunteered to
assist us in our work.”
“I knew you were an alien,” she said. “You’re too big to be an
Earthling. So, why would you aliens want to help us?”
“Because that is our desire, our purpose in being. It became
our commitment to assist those of Earth when we realized that if
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we didn’t assist your people, you would destroy yourselves within

a few centuries along with a whole group of other planets with
sentient life on them.”
“Really?” She said, mesmerized by the feelings that the
Meathos was producing in her as she moved her hand in it.
“Really. Would you like to get into it and feel what it feels
like?”
“You trying to trick me, King Kong?”
“It’s your choice,” he replied. “But I promise you, there is no
danger. It is against my nature to harm or to deceive anyone.”
“So you say, Godzilla, but it’s against my nature to trust
anyone I can’t throw across a room.”
Aranon laughed.
“I am certain that you are quite formidable, in spite of you
size,” he said after getting his laughter under control.
“Oh yeah?” She said, thinking that he was making fun of her.
“You wan’a try me on, Gonzo? I’ll wipe that smile off your face in
a minute.”
“I truly believe that you could do it too,” he replied, sobering.
“Forgive me, Kerry. I was not making fun of you; it’s just that I find
your style rather humorous. I have no intension of tricking you or
trying to coerce you into doing anything you do not choose to do.”
She had to think about that for a moment. He wasn’t such a
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bad guy once you got past his size. He could have broken her in
two at any time, but he just sat there, calmly, letting her call him
names, letting her treat him like a piece of shit. She was still
swishing her hand lazily, back and forth in the Meathos. It did
seem to have a calming effect, and yet she still felt in control.
Maybe she would try getting into the pool.
“Do I have to undress to get in?”
“No,” he said, “it isn’t water and it won’t make any difference
if you are clothed or not. If you will pull your hand out for a second
you will see that it doesn’t cling or drip like water would.”
She pulled out her hand and studied it. “It’s completely dry,”
she observed, “how weird.” Without fanfare she tossed her legs
over the edge and slipped into the pool. “It’s sort’a like Jell-O, but
without the sticky. Not hot or cold. I kind’a like it, it feels, well…
friendly.”
“That’s because it likes you, or should I say it likes your
beingness, the all of you.”
“That’s stupid. Why would it like me, I’m a bitch.”
“You may see yourself that way, but that isn’t what you really
are, you know.”
“Oh yeah?” She asked testily, “So what am I, really?”
“You are the system’s protector, and a damned good one at
that, I might add,” he replied, smiling.
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Kerry Dennis
“Yeah?” Her face was filled with surprise, and maybe a little
pride. “Well, thanks. I guess you’re okay too.” She was starting to
really relax. In fact she was feeling a little sleepy. “I think I’m gon’a
go now,” she said, and even her voice sounded a little groggy. “I
guess I helped you. I got her in here. It’s your show now.” With
that she disengaged her consciousness from the body as it slid
under the surface of the Meathos.
Aranon breathed a sigh of relief as he went to the interface
and plugged in.
“Christy,” he thought, gently, “can you hear me?”
“Yes,” I replied, realizing that I was once again in the
Meathos. “That wasn’t fair,” I thought back at him.
“What wasn’t fair?”
“Taking advantage of my pain to put me back in here.”
“You got in of your own accord,” he replied. “Ask the
Meathos.”
I did and Meestra came to me and said that he was telling
the truth. I explained to the angel that I didn’t remember doing so,
and so she showed me all that had transpired since I fell to the
floor in pain. I was both amused and angered by the experience. I
asked her if there was some way to stop this other person from
coming out and taking over, and she smiled at me. She told me
that it would be like trying to amputate one of my legs without
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crippling me. She said that in spite of the fact that I was unable, at
this time, to remain conscious while another aspect of myself was
in control of the body, that each aspect was part of me and had a
purpose in being. She told me that until I was ready to allow that
purpose to reveal itself, I would be unable to allow myself to
coexist with my other aspects. Then she held me and rocked me
gently, telling me that I was dearly loved and that if there were a
way for me to heal without the necessity of walking through my
pain, she would surely suggest it.
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Fifteen
“Are you ready to complete this process?” Asked Aranon

through the interface.
“I don’t know. What is it that I am supposed to be doing?”
“Together, we will be looking at how the circumstances and
events of your previous life have affected your present life,” he
replied.
“I don’t have a clue,” I responded.
“That’s why I am here. To help you to put the pieces
together.”
“What difference does it make?” I asked. “How can it matter
now anyway?”
229
“Because the engrams, the charged memories of that time

are still with you, still determining your responses to life and life’s
experiences. They affect your body and how it functions, they
affect your sense of identity and purpose,” He replied.
“How? All that happened before I was born into this body. It
was on the other side of the world. How could all that be affecting
me now?”
“Lets find out, shall we?”
“Whatever,” I replied, resigning myself to this process that I
seemed to have no control over.
“Tell me of your earliest memory in this life.”
“My mom used to have to force me to eat. I hated to eat.
When I wouldn’t eat, my mom would put me at a little table, a
child sized table on the other side of the kitchen. I would sit there
for two to three hours waiting for my daddy to come home, and
then he would feed me, making airplanes with the spoon filled
with food.”
“Why do you suppose that you refused to eat?”
“I don’t know, because I wanted my daddy to feed me, I
guess.”
“Why do you suppose you needed to be nurtured in order to
eat?”
“I don’t know,” I responded, feeling frustrated.
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Kerry Dennis
“What did your mother say to you, when you refused to eat?”
“She said I should be grateful for my food because there
were many children in the world who had nothing to eat.”
“Remember how guilty you felt, as Poppet, when you were
fed well at the research center while just across the road
thousands starved?”
“But I couldn’t remember that.”
“Somewhere, deep inside you, you remembered. Think
about it.”
As I attempted to remember, I was suddenly transported
back to that two-year-old body, sitting at the tiny table in the
corner of the kitchen. I remember my imaginary friend, Jennifer,
sitting across from me, gaunt and hollow-eyed, taunting me.
“You’re such a bad girl,” she taunted, “you never do what
you are told. Your mother hates you, you know. You are so bad!”
“Tell me about this imaginary friend,” he asked, obviously
hearing my thoughts as if I had spoken them.
I thought for a moment and then a shock ran through me as I
realized that this imaginary friend had the same name as my
sister in my last life. Her name was an unusual one in the late
1930’s war torn Germany. She was named after our paternal
grandmother who lived in France, the country of my father’s birth.
I thought of her face as she stood beside my bed that morning, as
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I lay seriously injured from a night of abusive rapes. She couldn’t

have known what had happened to me; all she knew was that I
had abandoned her and that I had gone off with the enemy,
dishonoring my Papa’s wishes. The gaunt face and the hollow
eyes hunted me, even into my next life! So much so, that I
recreated her in this life, to punish myself for those past life
transgressions.
“She always came to punish me.”
“How would she punish you?” He asked.
“She would make me sit out in the snow, without a jacket, till
I turned blue. She would make me hold my bare feet to a frozen
window pain, until they stuck there, causing frostbite. She would
call me names and taunt me incessantly. I didn’t make her up, did
I?”
“It’s possible that her disembodied spirit visited you. It is also
possible that you were not as closed to the memories of your past
incarnation as you think, in which case, you recreated her from
those memories, as the result of your intense guilt at what
happened to her. Tell me more.”
“I remember playing in the back yard with my brother one
day, when a large airplane flew over, very low, on approach to a
nearby military air base. As soon as I saw it I screamed and ran
into the garage, and hid under a worktable, covering my head and
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Kerry Dennis
crying. My brother laughed at my antics, making fun of my fear of

airplanes.”
“Ah,” he responded, gently, “as though you had previously
been in an air raid. Not uncommon in post war children in Europe,
but unheard of in post war American children. Can you see the
pattern?”
“Okay,” I replied. “I had some memories…maybe.”
“And if you did have some past life memories, maybe you
were affected in other ways as well.”
“I guess so, maybe.”
“So lets see where else this past life experience encroached
on your present life. Tell me more.”
“I don’t know,” I answered, trying to remember other
memories that could have affected me. “When I was eleven or
twelve, I built a prison for myself in my back yard by wrapping
some old left over chain link fence around an old ping-pong table
we didn’t use anymore. I stopped talking in school, and wrote
numbers on my arm in permanent ink.”
“That’s very interesting,” he responded. “And tell me, what
do you think precipitated that?”
“I saw this movie on TV called ‘The Search’, and I identified
with the little boy portrayed in the movie. It was the story of a little
boy who’d been in a Nazi prison camp.”
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“An unusually intense identification, don’t you think?”

“I guess it was, looking back on it now. I was obsessed with
thoughts and visions about Nazi Germany, as well as Auschwitz. I
went through several periods of time where I didn’t speak, and I
even wrote a story about being in Nazi Germany during the war,
called ‘My War’. I always felt out of place, out of time, lost, alone,
and frightened, but I always attributed that to my emotional
problems. Even in high school, years later, I drew pictures of
hollowed eyed children, and when we studied the Holocaust, and
were shown pictures of the piles of bodies in a pit, I searched for
a familiar face among those dead bodies and knew in my heart
that I had been there. I saw ‘The Diary Of Anne Frank’ three times
and connected deep within my soul with that fear of discovery and
arrest by the Nazis. But, Aranon, I was a troubled child, looking
for something to connect with. I even taught myself German from
a record my mom bought me. I mean, isn’t this all just too
convenient as an explanation of all that?”
“Maybe, maybe not. Think back, how many other children
did you know growing up who were as obsessed with this material
as you were?”
“None.”
“Does that tell you anything?”
“I don’t know. Most of the kids I grew up with had happy
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Kerry Dennis
homes.”
“Were your siblings as affected by your family life as you
were?”
“No,” I responded, “but they were not raped as children, like I
was.”
“Do you know how many times you were raped as a child in
this life?”
“Just once that I can remember, but it was enough to screw
me up.”
“Well,” he replied, “we will be looking at that later, but in spite
of that, it seems that you were unusually obsessed with these
things. Tell me, what was the number that you wrote on your
arm?”
“A-780”
“That could easily be the number that you were given when
you and your sister arrived. It places you there sometime in 1941.
Do you remember your last name?”
“No, and Poppet was a nick name, not my real name, so I
have no idea who I was.”
“But you are certain that your twins name was Jennifer?”
“As sure as I can be about something that may just as well
be a fantasy,” I replied.
“We will do some research and see what we can find. In the
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mean time, I think it is safe to assume that you were there with
your twin sister. I don’t think you just made this up as a means of
dealing with your present life’s pain.”
“Ok,” I replied, not quite knowing how to feel about what he
said.
“There is also a correlation between your present life’s
abuse and this past life abuse. This is not just something that has
occurred in your case alone, but in the cases of others with whom
we have worked from this time. It appears that many individuals
become drawn to, almost magnetically pulled toward abusive
situations, over and over, until the original incident is discovered
and understood. It’s almost as if they are seeking to recreate the
original incident. Often times these are incidences in which they
participated as an abuser, not the victim.”
“You mean, some time way back when, I did horrible things
to someone, and I keep punishing myself for it?”
“Something like that, yes,“ he replied.
“So why aren’t we looking for that?”
“One thing at a time,” he responded. “At this time we are
only attempting to connect your most recent past life experience
with your present life.”
“So, because I was sexually abused in that life, I was
sexually abused in this life?”
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Kerry Dennis
“Yes, but there is more to it than that. You were given drugs,
just before your death in that past life, drugs that opened up your
psychic abilities and you died while you were psychically open.
This means that you probably came into your present life more
psychically aware than most. It could also mean that your psychic
centers were already activated at your birth. Does that seem like
a possibility to you?”
“Well,” I replied, “I have always been able to see the colors
around people. I have been told that this is a psychic gift. At first I
thought everyone could see them, but I learned that wasn’t true
when I was around five. After that, I never let anyone know I could
see them.”
“What did your parents think of that?”
“They thought I had an over-active imagination.”
“Ah,” he replied in an understanding tone.
“Are we done now?”
“Lets see if we can pull it all together. In this past life, you
died believing that you failed your sister and your father. In this
life you were visited at an early age, by the specter of your sister,
who desired to see you punished. Also, in this life you felt that you
would never measure up, that you were a failure, even before you
became an adult.”
“I also have always wanted to be a boy, and felt that if I were
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a boy, I would be able to accomplish things that girls couldn’t,

things that my brothers accomplished, seemingly easily.”
“Good! Part of that may have been the result of growing up
with two brothers who were never abused and were possibly
doted on by your parents. Or, it could be that your parents were
more in tune with the needs and the personalities of boys, and
you felt that if you could have been a boy they would have treated
you better. Nevertheless, all things are interrelated, and you were
probably drawn to your present parents as the result of their
genetics and their personality traits.
“Furthermore, you were drawn into this body, possibly with
all of your psychic centers open, so you would have been
unusually sensitive to the thoughts and feelings of others,
especially your parents and siblings. You were probably aware of
the specter of death long before other children were. You were
also born with an unusually high intelligence, due to your psychic
openness. This made the abuses that you experienced in this life
that much more powerful, and more personally shattering than
they may have been otherwise.
“Finally, you probably came in with a deeper sense of
spirituality, a need to please God, that is beyond the norm.”
“That’s true,” I responded. “I was terribly afraid of God, afraid
that He would throw me into a lake of fire because I was so bad.”
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Kerry Dennis
“Ah, but your sense of spirituality possibly went beyond even

that, being that your psychic centers were open and thus you
probably felt more connected to people, in a deeper way than
most of your peers. That, in turn would have allowed you to feel
others pain more powerfully, adding to your personal pain and
sense of hopelessness, because it was difficult for you to
separate your own pain from the pain of others. All of this made
the popular view of God even more frightening for you.
“Finally, you came into this life, impressed with the sense of
being unwanted, both by the events of your birth and the taunting
of your parents. This feeling of being unwanted intensified your
feelings of unacceptability and alienation, which you carried with
you from your previous incarnation, and in turn added to your
vulnerability, making you a prime candidate for the emotional
shattering that you have experienced as the result of the pain and
abuse.”
“So what now?” I asked.
“So now we look at this life, and how you drew abuse to
yourself and how other lives, previous to the one we just looked
at, added to that abuse and dictated not only your responses to
that abuse, but also your responses to others with whom you
have interacted in this life and previous lives. Most of those with
whom you have been involved with in this life, have interacted
239
with you before, in many previous lives, and their actions and
reactions have been governed, not only by their own past
experiences, but also by those past life interactions with you.”
“Do we have to do that now?” I asked, feeling weary of this.
“No,” he replied. “Now we take a break. You have earned it.”
“Thank you,” I replied. I sobbed and the Meathos absorbed
my tears.
I was aware of Aranon lifting me from the Meathos and
taking me to my bed. I was aware that he had positioned himself
in the chair beside the bed, keeping watch over me, awaiting my
return. Meestra allowed me that awareness. Then, with loving-
kindness she scooped me up in her arms and carried me to that
wondrous, heavenly place, populated with beings of light and
love. There I connected, on some spiritual level, with my authentic
self. I realized that I had created my circumstances, throughout
many previous lives, in an effort to balance the who that I really
was with the who I had become. I knew that I was, first and
foremost, a spiritual being, expressing physically, a soul inhabiting
a body, an eternal being caught up in the drama of finite, transient
experiences. It was as if I had gone to a movie and lost myself in
one of the characters, unable to separate myself from the
contrived fiction; unable to remember that I chose to go to that
movie and yet had a life apart from the contrived drama of it.
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Kerry Dennis
Beyond all that drama, I was an eternal being, undergoing

an eternal process of self-recognition and self-purification. I am a
word spoken by the Creator, and it was up to me to exemplify the
Creator’s meaning and purpose in speaking that word, with my
personal interpretation. I am the Creator’s passion. I am the
Creator’s prose. I am the Creator’s love, spoken softly in the night
to It’s beloved…Creation.
241
Sixteen
“Welcome back,” said Aranon, as soon as I opened up my

eyes. He was still sitting in the chair beside my bed.
“Have I been asleep long?” I asked.
“A few hours. You are probably hungry. Would you like for
me to program a meal for you?” He started to get up and go to the
synthesizer.
“No,” I said, not feeling hungry. “God, I sure miss baths.”
“Would you like to take a swim instead?” He asked, smiling.
“You mean in real water?”
“Of course,” he chuckled.
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Kerry Dennis
“I’ll need a bathing suit,” I said, feeling excited at the

prospect of being immersed in real water for a change.
“Of course, we’ll stop by supply and get you one.”
He started for the door before I was even out of bed. I sat
up, feeling a little dizzy, and had to sit on the side of the bed for a
moment before the speckles cleared from my eyes. Aranon was
beside me in a second, sitting on the bed next to me with concern
in his face.
“Tell me how you are feeling,” he said, and his voice almost
seemed anxious.
“Just a little dizzy, maybe a little faint.”
“Before we go swimming, I would like to take you for a quick
examination, ok?”
“Ok,” I said, still feeling a bit woozy. “I’m not sure I can walk
just yet,” I added, feeling strangely sweaty.”
He picked me up and carried me to that room with the two
crystal slabs, laying me on the bottom one. This time I wasn’t
scared, I knew what was going to happen. As the upper one
descended, I could feel my body go weightless as I became
suspended between the two. There was a prickly sensation as I
was scanned. Then, without warning, my head began to ache with
a pulsing sensation, and I called out to him, frightened.
Immediately, he laid his hand on my forehead and the pain
243
subsided. I was actually grateful for his assistance, as the pain

was so intense. I hung there for quite some time, wondering what
was wrong. Finally, the upper slab ascended and I was gently
lowered to the bottom one.
“What happened?” I asked, as he helped me from the table.
“Sometimes, after re-experiencing a violent death, the body
tries to compensate for what it has experienced, and the brain
chemistry goes through a radical shift. You will be all right now,
everything is back in balance.”
“Can you explain that to me,” I asked following him into the
crowded hallway. He picked me up so that we wouldn’t become
separated in the shuffle.
“When the body feels that it is dieing, it begins to shut down
all but the most essential functions. The body is flooded with
dopamine and endorphins to reduce pain and stress. After the
crisis is past, it can sometimes take as long as two days for the
body to come back to normal, depending on the intensity of the
experience. I made certain that you were placed in stasis for a
time to facilitate that process, but because I was not, at the time,
experiencing the event with you through the interface, I was
unaware of the actual intensity of the experience. I should have
brought you in for a scan right after you experienced your past
death. A misjudgment on my part, forgive me.”
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Kerry Dennis
“So I’m ok now, right?”

“Better than ever,” he smiled, and gave me a gentle hug.
We entered the supply room and Aranon put me down and
began to wander through isles of cabinets and drawers. Finally,
he stopped and pulled open a drawer. He pulled out a one-piece
swimsuit and held it up to me. It was some sort of black stretchy
type material and I knew, after feeling it, that it would stretch even
more when wet. This one was maybe a little big when dry, so I
figured it would fall off me when waterlogged. I shook my head.
“Hum,” he responded, “not to your liking?”
“Oh I like it, but that kind of material stretches when wet, so
maybe a smaller size would be better. Otherwise I think I will
loose it on my first dive.”
He gave me a shocked look and then laughed. “Of course,
what was I thinking?” He reached back into the drawer and pulled
out a smaller size in a florescent purple.
I took it from him, smiling. “Just my color,” I said.
He then went to another drawer and found a pair of trunks
for himself. I had the feeling that he was doing this just for me and
that he would rather skinny-dip. I nodded my approval and he
smiled, closed the drawer and picked me up again.
We left the supply room and traveled for several minutes
before he stopped and opened another door. He put me down as
245
we entered. It was a huge, tiled room containing an Olympic sized

pool, with a high dive, a low dive and a Jacuzzi off to the side. I
breathed in the humidity and smiled, delighted by the prospect of
actually getting wet for the first time in who knows how long; more
than a week, maybe?
“The changing room is through that door,” he said.
I went into the changing room. It contained a bank of
cubbyholes for one’s clothes and some kind of apparatus that
wasn’t a shower, but whose purpose I couldn’t quite decipher.
There were also several toilets, separated by curtains instead of
stalls. I got undressed, put on the bathing suit and put my clothes
in a cubby. I went back out into the pool area and Aranon was
already there, in his white swim trunks, looking like Adonis. His
body was well proportioned for his size, his muscles taut and
sinewy. His chest was well developed, like he worked out every
day, has stomach like a washboard, every muscle standing out
like the coils of a rope. He was breathtaking!
“The suit looks good on you, and you are right, that is your
color,” he said, smiling.
I went to the shallow end and sat down on the edge, putting
my feet in the water. It was cool but not cold. I slipped into the
pool, feeling the water caress my body. I had no idea how much I
had missed feeling water on my skin. I swam from one end of the
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Kerry Dennis
pool to the other, reveling in the silky smoothness of the water

flowing past my body as I moved through it.
When I reached the other end of the pool, I looked around
but couldn’t find Aranon. Suddenly, I saw him, sailing off the high
dive, spinning and rolling before he hit the water at the perfect
attitude, creating only a small splash and very few waves. I was
aghast! I mean he could be an Olympic gold medalist. I had never
seen such grace, precision and speed in my life!
“Wow!” I said as he surfaced and shook his head, water
droplets fanning out around his head.
“You liked that, did you?” He said, grinning and treading
water.
“That was phenomenal!”
“Well, thank you. Just a little thing an Earther taught me.” He
then dogpaddled over to the edge beneath the diving boards
where I was hanging on, slowly treading water. “Is this pleasant
for you?”
“It’s wonderful! I can’t believe how much I’ve missed water.”
“That’s why we created the pool room,” he said, leaning his
upper arms on the edge of the pool. “That is a common need for
Earthers. We believe that life on your planet began in the sea.”
“So do most Earth scientists,” I said. He nodded. “Do you
think I was born a girl in this life because it was so awful being a
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boy in my last life?”

“Maybe,” he replied, thoughtfully. “Have you been happy with
your gender in this life?”
“No! I have always felt cheated. Our culture, while I was
growing up, still viewed women as second-class citizens.
Everyone who ever made a difference in our history, with a very
few exceptions, were all men. Even our language gives men
superiority. Then there are my brothers, who have always
succeeded at everything they took on. They got the
encouragement, while I got to wash the floor and vacuum the
carpets.”
“You sound a little bitter,” he said, giving me a sideways
glance.
“I guess I am,” I said. “I just always wished I could grow
up to be a man. Silly, huh?”
“Not really, given the fact that in your last life you had the
potential of growing up to be a man, but that opportunity was
taken from you by circumstances that you had no control over.”
“And I guess I must have felt guilty, somewhere in my soul,
that I didn’t get to handle the responsibilities of being a man very
well as Poppet.”
“Ah,” he said, his face wreathed in gentleness, “but you were
only six when your father gave you that responsibility. A difficult
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prospect under any circumstances, but especially difficult under

the circumstances you were thrust into as the result of the death
of your parents.”
“I know that intellectually, but in my feeling self, after reliving
the memory of my past life, I feel as though I failed.”
“You did the best you could under the circumstances,” he
said, softly. “I think you will come to see that as we visit more of
your past and even more of your past lives. We are all products of
what we have been and what we have been taught. There is no
shame in doing the best you can with what you know. Would you
berate a six-year-old for not knowing long division, of for being
unable to produce a sonnet?”
“Well, when you put it that way, I guess I didn’t do too badly.”
“You gave up your life for your sister. Even if it didn’t help
either of you, that was an enormously brave thing to do. That was
the kind of thing a very valiant man would have done, and you
were just a little boy.”
“Yeah,” I said, “I was pretty brave, wasn’t I?” Tears began to
flow from my eyes, and I quickly wiped them away.
“Yes.” He said, hugging me to him. “You were unusually
brave for a six-year-old boy, and it is okay to release that emotion.
Don’t ever be upset with yourself for feeling that pain, or for
feeling pride in yourself for your incredible bravery.”
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Suddenly, it was as if a dam had broken, and I began to sob

deeply for the lost little boy who had tried so hard to live up to his
father’s expectations, as he understood them. Aranon continued
to hold me, there in the water, as I emptied myself of two lifetimes
of emotional pain.
After a time, the sobs began to subside, and I felt more
relaxed than I had in a very long time. I let him support me, as I
went limp and just floated in his arms. I don’t know how long he
silently supported me there, but I felt loved and accepted, and
finally empty of emotion.
“That was what was supposed to have happened when we
did our last session in the Meathos,” he said, as I stirred and
looked up at him. “That was the release I was waiting for. I am
very proud of you for allowing yourself to feel those feelings and
then release them.”
“Thanks,” I replied, limply, feeling wrung out. “I never have
been very good at doing what’s expected.” I smiled weakly.
After a few more minutes of just floating in his arms he
asked, “Are you ready to get out, or would you like to just stay this
way for a while longer?”
“I’m ready to get out,” I said, “but can we do this again?”
“Oh yes,” he replied. “I can see that this is very therapeutic
for you, so I am going to suggest that you be allowed to do this as
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often as you feel the need.”

“Thanks,” I said, moving from his arms and swimming to the
shallow end. As I began to pull myself out, Aranon was already
there, on the deck before me, reaching down to assist me. Once
he had pulled me up onto the deck I asked; “Can I have a towel?”
“We have a different way of getting dry,” he responded.
“Would you like to try it?”
“Okay,” I said.
He led me into the changing room and pointed to that
strange apparatus I had seen when I changed into my suit.
“You can either take the suite off, of do this with the suit on,
it works just as well either way. Then you press this button,” a
button that looked like the kind of stainless steel button over the
toilet in a public restroom, “and stand under this nozzle here.” I
nodded and smiled, and he turned and left me alone to do as I
wished.
I stood under the nozzle, swimsuit and all, and a stream of
energy; that’s the only way I can describe it; flowed from the
nozzle and within seconds my body and the swimsuit were
completely dry. Even my hair was dry. I then took off the swimsuit
and dressed in the clothes that Aranon had given me before our
trek into the mountains. Leaving the suit in the cubby, I went back
out into the pool area, where Aranon waited for me.
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“How would you like to take a vacation?” He asked, smiling.

“Where? Back to the mountains?” I asked.
“No,” he said, shaking his head and smiling at the same
time. “I have to visit some friends of mine, on a planet that the
Earthers who populate it call Colony Five. I thought I would take
you with me.”
“Another planet? Is it far?”
“Not for us, but it’s about thirty of your light years away.”
“How long will it take to get there?” I asked. “Are we going in
a space ship?”
“We could take a space ship,” he replied, “but that would
take just a little longer than I would like to spend. In a space
vehicle it would take us about three days. Through the portal it will
take less than a second.”
“Wow!” I exclaimed. “You mean you can use that big gate we
went through to Top Side to get to another planet?”
Aranon nodded and smiled. “Would you like to eat first?”
“I’m too excited to eat. Can we eat when we get there?”
“Actually, I was invited to dinner, and I am sure that my
friends wouldn’t mind setting another place for you.”
“Yeah!” I exclaimed happily. “When can we leave?”
“Right now, if you would like.”
He seemed delighted by my excitement, and his eyes
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sparkled as he grinned at me. I nodded enthusiastically, and as

we exited the pool area he picked me up again, and then we
threaded through the throng, down the corridor that led to the big
circular room in which the gate stood. This time, when he carried
me through, I didn’t even flinch.
We arrived in an outdoor square, surrounded with trees and
bordered with shops and businesses. It looked like a plaza in an
outdoor mall in the Mid-West. The sky was a deep blue with wispy
white clouds, and a gentle breeze was blowing. I could smell the
scent of the flowers that grew in large brick enclosed planters
around the square. People filled the mall, all of them Earth-
human, many with families, going shopping, or to a show, or out
to eat in the restaurants that emitted the familiar smells of Earth
food.
Aranon put me down and then took my hand and led me to a
music store across the mall. As we entered, a large man behind
the counter beamed with joy and quickly disengaged himself from
a customer, calling another individual to take over for him.
“Aranon! Jeannie told me you might come! I am so please to
see you.” He shook Aranon’s huge hand and then looked at me.
“And who might this be?” He asked, still grinning.
“This is Christy,” replied Aranon, grinning back. “I hope
Jennie doesn’t mind. It was a spur of the moment decision to
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bring her.”
“Well of course!” The man replied. “There is always room for
one more.” He had merry eyes, and a round, expressive face. He
was a bit overweight especially around the middle, short in stature
for a man, with dark, short cropped, curly hair. His complexion
was ruddy, and his face sported a dark five-o-clock shadow. He
seemed to be of Italian decent. He was demonstrative and yet the
colors I saw around him told me that he was gentle, kind and
patient. “How do you do, Christy?” He said, extending his hand to
me. I took it and he gave me a warm and gentle handshake. “I’m
Sam.”
“I’m fine, thank you, Sam.”
“Are you a new arrival, or just visiting?” He asked, letting go
of my hand.
“She is one of my special ones,” replied Aranon. “She will be
going back with me.”
“Well,” he said, in an expansive voice, “I’ll bet you find all of
this very exciting.”
“Yes,” I replied, “I do.”
“She also has quite a gift,” said Aranon, sounding like a
proud teacher. “She plays the guitar and sings, and even writes
her own songs.”
“Really?” Said Sam, his eyes sparkling. “Well then, you will
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need a guitar. I, for one, would love to hear you sing.”

“Well, Aranon has already made me one,” I said. “It’s back at
Anchor.”
“Oh no!” He exclaimed, moving behind the counter. “There is
nothing like a hand made guitar, made from real wood, and cured
to perfection!”
“I have no money,” I said, feeling embarrassed.
“In my store, you need no money. Not when you are
Aranon’s guest! Not when you are my guest! Take your pick!” He
grinned broadly and waved his hand at the shiny new guitars
hanging on the wall behind the counter.
“I couldn’t,” I said, again embarrassed.
“Small classical folk,” stated Aranon, also grinning.
Sam went to the wall, looked over the guitars and took a
beautiful cherry colored, wood guitar from the hook it hung from.
“Try this one.” He handed it to me.
I stood there holding it, not knowing quite what to do. I
couldn’t play it standing up, as it didn’t have a strap, and I could
see no chairs to sit on.
“Here,” said Sam, pushing a small stool out from behind the
counter. “Have a seat.”
I sat on the stool, feeling very self-conscious, and yet thrilled
by the feel of this obviously expensive guitar. I strummed it and
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then tuned it. All the while Sam looked on with pride and
expectation.
“Sing me a song,” said Sam, excitedly. “I know you must be
good if Aranon tells me you sing.”
“I don’t think I am that good,” I said, doubting that I could live
up to his expectations.
“Well, you just let me be the judge of that,” he replied,
winking at Aranon, who nodded back, smiling.
I began to strum again, and then, out of nowhere, came
chords and then words as a tune formed in my mind, almost like
magic. I started to sing, and the song was as new to me as it was
to them.
I’m am a tiny little drop, and yet I am the sea

I am a universe within, yet outside, only me
I know so little of my God, and yet, my God, I be
For all things great and all things small combine and meet in
me.
And you must climb to the mountaintop to see the valley true
And you must stand in the valley low, to see the mountains
too
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Kerry Dennis
But whether you are great or small should never be your

quest
For, everything is what it is, because that’s what it is best.
And how to be the best you are, begins when you can see
That inside you is all that is, and you must set it free
There are no instant answers to those questions in your
mind
But all the remedies you seek, are in yourself to find
And there’s one thing that I have found and I believe it’s true
In helping others find their way, you’ll find the way in you
For in you shines the God-Light, ‘round which your life
revolves
And once you become that God-light, your greatest quest
resolves
For in the dark and silent stillness, in the center of the All
Burns the fire of sound and color, that speaks the Word, that
sounds the Call
To the Sparks, the Fire’s Children, to the Children, one and
all
One and all, one and all
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Both Aranon and Sam stood, transfixed, looking at me as

though I had just hypnotized them. I just sat there, not knowing
what to do. Finally. I got up from the stool and handed the guitar
back to Sam, my face red with embarrassment.
“No!” He said, refusing to take it from me. “That guitar is
yours. You earned it. My gosh! What a fabulous song!”
“I didn’t write it,” I said sheepishly. “It just came to me just
now. I have no idea how.”
“However it came to you, it is definitely a gift, and you are
the conduit. Anyone with a gift like that deserves a special guitar,”
replied Sam, his face still reflecting the awe that he was feeling. “It
was definitely made for you.”
“But you don’t understand,” I said. “I just know folk songs,
and I am not that good.”
“Don’t sell yourself short, Christy,” said Aranon, chidingly.
“You have been given a gift by your original family. Claim it. Own
it. Share it. It is worth more than all the guitars ever made, and yet
worth nothing if not expressed.”
I just stood there, holding that fantastically beautiful guitar,
not knowing how to feel, and yet overwhelmed by the gift I had
received but had not asked for. I wanted to deny my worthiness.
“Say thank you,” instructed Aranon.
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“Thank you,” I said to Sam, caressing the instrument with a

twinge of joy that I could not explain. I felt honored. I felt
unworthy. I shifted my eyes to my feet, lest he see the excitement
and joy I felt at owning such a special instrument.
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Seventeen
Sam found a case for my guitar and then made

arrangements with his staff to leave the shop early. Then we
followed him out the back of the store and into a parking lot. The
cars looked like most any car from Small-town USA. There were
even familiar models, like Fords and Chevy’s, plus a few I didn’t
recognize. Sam unlocked a car, with the push of a button on a fob
on his keychain and we got in. Aranon in the front, where he could
get the legroom he needed, and I in the back with my new guitar.
As soon as Sam turned on the car I knew it was like no car I
had ever ridden in, in spite of the familiar body style and interior.
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Kerry Dennis
The engine was completely silent, and the power seemed

instantly available. As he pulled from the parking lot, and out on to
a busy street, I could also see that there were a few other
differences as well. First, once we were on our way, Sam clicked
some buttons on the dash and then turned to talk with Aranon,
while the car drove itself on to a large super highway, inserting
itself expertly into the flow of traffic.
“Neat car,” I commented.
“Not everyone who lives here is cleared to have an auto-
piloted car. Just those of us who are permanent residents,”
replied Sam, beaming with pride.
“How come?” I asked
“Because most of these people are scheduled to go back to
Earth, and need to know how to drive according to the rules of the
road.”
I thought about this and remembered what I had read about
people being trained to return to Earth to assist with the shifting of
the planetary consciousness.
“How come you are not going back to Earth?” I asked.
“Jeannie and I,” he began, “Jeannie’s my wife. Anyway, we
decided to stay here and become part of a research study that
Anchor is doing.”
“What kind of research study?” I asked, with flashes of
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Mengela dancing in my head.

“We are attempting to generate a few special children, who
will one day assist with the regeneration of Earth’s society,”
replied Aranon, not able to turn and look at me due to the lack of
space, but he did turn his head part way.
“Sounds like the kind of meddling that the Nazis tried to do in
World War Two,” I said, guardedly.
“Not exactly,” replied Sam, defending his choice to
participate. “First of all, this is totally volunteer, secondly, each
participant is carefully monitored to prevent any unnecessary
accidents or any harm to them. We are each given classes in
what is being done, classes in physics, biology, and medicine so
that we understand each step, and why it is necessary. We can
elect to withdraw from any experimentation process that we feel
may be harmful to us or our child, and we get a few special perks,
like this car and communication equipment so that we can alert
the center if any problems arise.”
“I guess that is a little different from what I was thinking,” I
said honestly. “But fooling with nature, isn’t there some sort of law
against that?”
“Actually,” replied Aranon, obviously versed in the principles
of the project, “we only utilize the natural projections of where
nature intends to go without out our help, and we just speed up
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that process is all.”

“But don’t you worry that this may cause harm?” I asked, still
feeling uneasy about this. “I mean Nature takes it’s time for a
reason, don’t you think?”
“Okay,” replied Aranon, gently, and I could see in the
rearview mirror that his face took on a deep seriousness. “But
Nature takes its time because certain things are not available in
the environment that would naturally trigger these developmental
shifts. We simply supply the environmental and intellectual
circumstances that encourage specific organic mutations to occur
that will greatly enhance the development of natural capacities
that will further the evolution of the species.”
“You are still playing with Nature,” I chided.
“Yes,” replied Aranon, making eye contact with me in the
rearview mirror, “and you were punished, a long time ago, for
having a vision and following that vision in the creation of your
present race. I certainly understand your reluctance to embrace
our present day program. If those in authority had been able to
understand your vision, and recognize the beauty of it, you would
never have been abandoned on Earth, but rather would have
been hailed as a visionary. But it didn’t happen that way. They
could not see how your experiments enhanced the original and
most prominent developing race without harm, without generating
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a congenital propensity for degenerative patterns that would

eventually precipitate the extinction of that developing race.”
“Actually, it did!” I shouted, in an angry tone. “If nature had
been allowed to take it’s course, those other races would not have
developed and there would have been only one race and one
planetary government by now and we probably wouldn’t have
become the violent war mongers we have become. You probably
wouldn’t be doing all of this to keep Earth from creating this
galactic incident!”
“You didn’t create the sub races, Christy. That happened as
the result of the short sightedness of those in authority at the
time,” responded Aranon, gently.
“Her heart is in the right place,” said Sam, smiling at me and
reaching back to pat my knee.
I felt patronized. I made a face and then decided to just shut
up. I still wasn’t sure I wanted to believe in all that past life stuff,
anyway. I was feeling really angry but I wasn’t sure why. I was
also interested in the process, but again not sure why. I felt pulled
in two directions and it was uncomfortable.
We left the super highway and the car threaded its way
through suburban streets, passing neighborhoods of tract-like
homes that were reminiscent of Midwestern America. We passed
homes that were generally two story wood and brick homes with
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lots of trees and expansive green lawns with picket fences and
two car garages. I felt as though I was back on Earth. The feeling
caused some disorientation, and a sense of familiarity all at the
same time.
Finally, Sam grabbed a device from its place in a slot on the
dash and I saw a garage door open, as we turned into a driveway
and then drove into the garage. The door closed as we entered
and lights came on. Sam turned off the car and Aranon and Sam
opened their doors. I opened mine and followed them into a
sprawling modern home. We entered into a small room off the
kitchen, and followed Sam through the kitchen into a large living
room. A small dog greeted us, jumping enthusiastically on each of
us in turn; it’s tail wagging furiously.
“Hi, Piddles,” said Sam, reaching down to gently rub the little
dogs head when it greeted him. It then ran to Aranon, who smiled
at it, and then to me. I stopped and knelt down to pet the
exuberant little animal. It allowed me to pet it and then stood on
its hind legs to lick my face. I was charmed by it.
As we entered the living room a small boy, who could not
have been more than two years old, ran to Aranon, his arms
outstretched.
“Uncle Aranon,” squealed the tiny child, as Aranon picked
him up. “I knew you would come! Mama said you were busy with
265
an off-worlder, but I knew you would come see me!” He bussed

Aranon on the cheek with what looked like a really wet kiss, and
Aranon hugged the tiny boy and then put him back down on the
floor, gently.
“How could I not come see you, Andy?” He said, laughing.
“You are my special boy!”
The boy glowed with pride and then began pulling on
Aranon’s pant leg. “Come see what I have built!”
He led us into a small room off the living room, crammed
with electronic equipment. Lights blinked and screens displayed
both graphics and alphanumeric text in a constant state of
change. Of course, at the time I had no idea what I was looking
at.
“It’s a multidimensional temporal analyzer that provides both
informational and graphic displays of temporal shifts brought
about by scientific and technological advancements that impact
the growth and development of sociological paradigms, which in
turn impact the development of consciousness along multiple time
lines. Isn’t it great?”
All of this came from a tiny child that should have been
playing with the kind of toys that were designed to develop simple
things like eye-hand coordination, color recognition and spatial
relationships. I was in shock.
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Kerry Dennis
“It’s wonderful!” Exclaimed Aranon, giving the tiny child a

broad smile. “I am certain that it will help us immensely in gauging
the effects of our present experimental programs.”
We left the child, smiling expansively, as he began typing
furiously on a keyboard, while watching the changing displays.
“I’m sorry, Aranon,” Sam said, apologetically, when we
returned to the living room. “We tried to monitor his activities and
his ability to acquire electronic components, but he is so devious,
so skilled at acquiring what he needs, that we just couldn’t stop
him.” Sam hung his head, looking dejected.
Aranon gave him a friendly one-armed hug. “It’s okay, Sam,
we knew this would happen eventually, we just didn’t expect it so
soon.”
“Ain’t that the truth,” replied Sam, still looking dejected. “He
is way ahead of schedule in his development.”
“Don’t worry about it Sam,” replied Aranon, looking
concerned for his friend. “It’s just an added bonus, is all.”
“Yeah, well, Jennie is beside herself with worry that you will
take him from us much sooner than expected.”
“I understand,” replied Aranon, “and we may have to bring in
a technical team before we had scheduled it, to monitor his
discoveries, but rest assured that your parenting is of paramount
importance in his social development, so whatever happens, you
267
will remain an important component in his life. To be sure, you

may have to relocate to Anchor ahead of schedule, but no matter
what, you will both remain with him as long as possible.”
“Thanks, Aranon,” replied Sam, dejectedly, “but Jennie and I
are feeling more and more alienated from his world every day.
Soon, we will mean about as much to him as Piddles, whom he
almost never notices anymore.”
“That won’t happen,” replied Aranon. “If necessary we will
retard his intellectual growth until his emotional and social growth
catches up.”
“If you can,” replied Sam, in a frightened tone of voice. “His
abilities are off the scale, Aranon. Jennie used to be able to keep
him in check with her psychic abilities, but he has developed
beyond that.”
“Well then, I guess we will all just have to go back to the
Center together, and allow Dorn to reevaluate him.”
“I’m not sure even Dorn can control him, Aranon. He has
been developing so quickly, it’s scary. He may not even be willing
to go, especially if he feels threatened by the prospect that you
will curtail his experimentation.”
“Don’t worry about it, Sam. I am sure that Andy will be willing
to return to Anchor if I tell him that it is important.”
Just then a door closed in the kitchen and Piddles skittered
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across the kitchen, slipping and sliding in his exuberance. I heard

a laugh and a woman’s voice, chiding the little dog to stay down.
Soon, the woman appeared in the doorway to the living room.
“Oh hi, Aranon,” said the petite woman who had brown, short
curly hair and a trim figure. “I am so glad you came. Have you
seen his latest project?”
“Yes,” replied Aranon, smiling at her. “Awesome.”
“Awesome, yes, encouraging, no.” She moved to Aranon,
giving him a quick hug. “And this must be the new one you are
working with,” she said, eyeing me, with a gentle smile.
“Yes,” replied Aranon. “Jennie, this is Christy. Christy, this is
Sam’s wife and Andy’s mom, Jennie.”
“Hi, Jennie,” I said, reaching my hand out to her. She shook
it gently, giving me a kind smile.
“Well,” she said looking at me, then Aranon, “I guess that we
have an extra guest for dinner.” She seemed anxious and
distracted. She turned and started for the kitchen. Aranon
followed her.
“Why don’t you have a seat, Christy,” suggested Sam,
smiling and motioning toward the couch.
I sat down and within a few seconds I had a perpetually
moving animal in my lap. Piddles seemed to be some sort of
miniature terrier mix, with a fluffy brown coat, huge expressive
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doe eyes set behind a medium length snout and with long, floppy
ears. His tail was constantly wagging, and it appeared that it was
also wagging his entire body with it. His tongue was busy too,
trying to lick every exposed area of skin on my body, especially
my face. I laughed at his antics, and began to pet him in self-
defense. This seemed to do the trick, for as I pet him he settled
down and then finally curled up in my lap, nudging my hand each
time I stopped petting him.
“You seem to have a way with animals,” commented Sam,
who seemed not to know what to say or do while Aranon spoke to
his wife in the other room. “That’s the calmest I think I have ever
seen him in the presence of another person.”
“I really like animals,” I replied, continuing to pet the little
creature, now almost asleep in my lap. “I wanted to be a vet when
I was a little kid. Now, I just want to have a relatively normal life.”
“I’m sure you will have a much more interesting life,” said
Sam with a twinkle in his eye, “than you would have had if you’d
never been transferred here. And having Aranon, as your
facilitator is a real plus. I’ve seen him work wonders.”
“He’s pretty nice,” I replied, making small talk.
“Would you like to watch television?” He asked.
“What kinds of programs are available here?”
“Oh the usual,” he said, picking up a device and pressing a
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button on it. The television came to life, in living color. We had a

color TV at home, but this was way beyond that. The quality was
incredible.
“Oh my gosh!” I said. “Isn’t that Star Trek?” As I watched, the
enigmatic, pointy-eared Spock mind-melded with a Horta; a
silicone based life form that burrowed tunnels through solid rock.
“I remember this one! Wow! Do they have TV at the Center on
Ancore?”
“Sure,” he said, grinning at my excitement. “You can get it on
your communications console. Just tap on the Request link and
then type into the request box; 1960 dash 1970 AD, North
American Television broadcasting on your keyboard. Then you
will get a menu of which programs are available for that time
period, and you can choose what you want to watch.”
“Thank you,” I said, wishing I had known that several days
ago. “I really haven’t had much time for anything but working on
my problems.”
“That will get easier,” he said, with a knowing look.
Jennie stepped into the living room, smiling. “Dinner is
ready,” she said. Then she went into the next room where Andy
was busy with his invention. There was a bit of a commotion, as
Andy seemed to be throwing a tantrum. Aranon came from the
kitchen and went to that room and the tantrum ceased. Aranon
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appeared, carrying Andy, who appeared to be squirming

unhappily in his arms. Jennie followed, waving to us to follow.
The table was set with four plates and at the corner of the
table was a high chair, with it’s own, small plate. Aranon was just
placing Andy in his high chair as we entered. He sat in one of the
chairs beside him, speaking softly to him. Andy slowly calmed
down and seemed like a normal baby once we had taken our
seats around the table.
“So, Christy, how long have you been at Anchor Station?”
Asked Jennie as she passed me a bowl of corn on the cob.
“I don’t know,” I said, taking an ear and putting it on my
plate. “I seem to have lost track of time.”
“About ten days,” interjected Aranon.
“Ah,” she said, with a knowing nod. “The first few weeks are
the hardest. After that you’ll get a rhythm and the stress will ease
off.”
“I’m not sure I will be staying that long,” I replied. Aranon
gave me a questioning look but said nothing.
“You realize that if you don’t complete the initial process, that
you will have be returned with your memory wiped.” She replied,
matter-of-factly. “Aranon told me about your unusual
circumstances.”
I sat in shock for a moment, and then looked at Aranon, who
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Kerry Dennis
gave me a sober nod, and I knew that she had spoken the truth. I
couldn’t imagine having had such a fantastic experience and then
have the memory removed, without a trace. It seemed to me that
anything as intense as my stay here would remain with me
forever. I took a plate of what looked like pork chops and placed
one on my own plate.
“Well,” I replied, “I haven’t really decided yet.”
“With your gift, Christy, you would be invaluable to the
Project,” said Sam, with a gentle smile. “I know it is difficult to
revisit your past and face its pain and distortions, but you must
know how healing it is. I mean, I am sure that you have had some
really difficult times in your present life as well as in your past
lives, but you must see the power in making those connections
and releasing the energy and the pain that you have been holding
on to for so long. You must have experienced the power of those
releases.”
“Well, I guess,” I said, feeling like I was being preached to by
a religious zealot. I had felt some release from my internal pain,
but the terror of not knowing what was coming next, and the fear
that I was just being used by some superior race for purposes I
didn’t understand, still plagued me.
“No one individual is that important in the scheme of things,”
said little Andy.
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No little baby had the right to be so articulate and so cynical,

I thought to myself. I tried to ignore him, but his words cut deep.
“Each individual is important in the scheme of things,” said
Aranon, in a chiding voice. “When we loose site of the importance
of individuals, we loose site of the purpose of the Project.”
“Still,” retorted Andy, in a self-important tone, “If she decides
to opt out, she won’t be missed. Anyway, an uncommitted
individual is a liability to the project.”
“Andy,” said Aranon, sternly, “you are out of line!”
“Statistics bear me up,” he responded, more quietly.
“Enough!” Said Sam, giving Andy an angry look. He looked
at Aranon, as if to say, see what we are dealing with?
“Andy,” said Aranon, looking into Andy’s eyes. “You and your
parents will going back through the portal to Anchor with us. I
think it is time that you had a look at your own past lives and the
part that you have played in the development of present
circumstances.”
“I already know who I was in the past and what my present
potential is,” retorted Andy, angrily.
“You only know what it has pleased you to investigate,”
replied Aranon. “And your potential is in grave jeopardy if your
present attitude and behavior persists.”
“I’m special!” Andy Shouted, belligerently. “I’ve got what you
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need, and I know that I’m better and smarter than anyone alive
right now, so don’t threaten me!”
Without warning, Aranon reached over and placed his hand
on Andy’s forehead and the child went into a deep sleep,
dropping his ear of corn.
“I think we need to go now,” said Aranon, pulling the limp
child from his high chair.
“Right,” said Sam, dropping his knife and fork. Jennie was
sobbing.
We all got up and immediately went to the garage. On the
way, Sam placed Piddles in my arms and asked me to bring him.
As we got in the car, Aranon held Andy, keeping him in a deep
sleep, while Sam drove and Jennie joined me in the back seat,
my new guitar forming a barrier between us.
Jennie continued to sob, and I was helpless to assist her. I
held the little dog that had fallen asleep in my arms. I stared
forward, feeling lost and frightened by these events, hugging the
little dog as though it were my salvation.
We parked the car in the same place that we had found it
and after Sam grabbed my guitar and we had to walk around to
an entrance to the central mall now that all the shops were
closed. In just a few minutes we had stepped through the portal,
and were back at the circular rotunda at Anchor Station. Aranon
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instructed Jennie and Sam to keep track of me as we followed

him through the maze of hallways to the control room where Dorn
presided.
Sam, Jennie and I waited while Aranon consulted with Dorn,
finally turning the child over to him. He then told Jennie and Sam
to stay with Dorn, picked me up in one arm, grabbed my new
guitar with his free hand and carried me back to my room. To say
the least, by the time we entered my room, I was confused and
upset, yet still holding Piddles.
“What do I do with this little guy?” I asked, nearly in tears.
“Why don’t you take care of him for a while,” he said. “It
appears that he is comfortable with you, and it will give us an
excuse to go Top Side a couple of times a day to walk him, which
will probably help you as well.”
“Okay,” I said, feeling the little animals comforting warmth in
my arms. “But we will have to feed him.”
Aranon smiled and went to the synthesizer and programmed
a plate of dog food and a bowl of water. He placed them on the
floor in a corner and then programmed a chew toy. He put that
beside the bowls. I put the little dog down by the bowls and he
immediately started gobbling the food in the dish.
“I need to attend to some things and then I will be back,” he
said, his demeanor somewhat distracted.
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Kerry Dennis
“I guess playing God has its price,” I said, offhandedly, as

Aranon went to the door.
“Yes,” he said, somberly, opening the door. “Nevertheless,
although advancement has its challenges, if we are vigilant and
loving, it also has its rewards.” With that, he was gone and I was
alone with an exuberant but dependant little dog. I went to the
communications console and did as Sam directed and was soon
watching Outer Limits, another of my favorite TV programs. After
finishing his food, Piddles jumped into my lap and cuddled up
there, keeping me company. I was glad for that.
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Eighteen
As the credits for Outer Limits were running on the small

screen at my communications console Aranon entered carrying a
dog leash. Piddles leapt from my lap and skittered across the
room toward him, his tail wagging furiously. Aranon reached down
and clipped the leash to his collar.
“How about a walk,” he said smiling, as Piddles started
turning in rapid circles, anticipating the walk.
“Okay”. I placed the dishes from my most recent snack into
the recycler.
He opened the door and Piddles rushed into the hall, nearly
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strangling himself as he quickly reached the end of the leash. I

joined them in the empty hallway, and we started walking toward
the rotunda.
“I’m not sure I want to stay,” I said, after we had walked for a
while.
“The situation with Andy frightened you,” he replied. “I can
understand that. I want you to know that Andy is doing just fine,
and will be staying with his parents in Top Side.”
“I’m glad to hear that,” I replied, not really caring one way or
another. What I did care about was the fact that Aranon was
participating in experiments on little children. This bothered me
very much.
“What we are doing is very important to the survival of Earth
beyond the next two centuries,” he said, almost as though he
were looking into my mind again.
I gave him an angry look. I had begun to wonder if I could
trust him anymore, with what I now knew. “I can’t see how a smart
mouthed baby genius is going to make life any better on my
planet.”
“There will come a time, not too far in your future, when
society as you know it will break down. At that time, in order to
rebuild, your planet is going to need visionaries, individuals
capable of assisting with the reconstruction. These individuals will
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need to be capable of finding and manipulating resources through

which to feed millions of starving people, as well as finding cures
for diseases which you have yet to encounter, but will, in your not
too distant future, be developed by several independent military
research facilities. These individuals will need to have a strong
character, leadership abilities and extraordinarily high intelligence
in order to lead society back out of the next dark age and into a
new age of social and scientific development, based upon
international cooperation and brotherhood. The children we are
working with today will not be the ones to assist in this
redevelopment, but rather it will be their children and their
children’s children. Those children will have been born on your
planet, and will have the interests of your planet etched on their
consciousness, because they will be an integral part of it. We
have run thousands of simulations in an effort to find a way to
save your race from this self-inflicted extinction. This is the only
scenario we have run that shows any promise at all in saving your
race, and believe me, your race is worth saving.”
We had reached the rotunda and were heading toward the
portal, Piddles straining at the end of his leash, periodically
choking himself in his enthusiasm. As we reached the portal,
Aranon programmed our destination into a console. Then we went
through, Piddles raced through ahead of us, disappearing
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Kerry Dennis
momentarily until we followed. He ran immediately to a plot of

grass and began turning in circles, finally squatting and relieving
himself. Aranon pulled a bag, from somewhere on his person and
picked up the little pile and then dropped it into a nearby
receptacle marked recycling.
I had been thinking about what Aranon had said, and was
suddenly filled with fear, realizing that I might just live to see the
destruction that he had spoken of. I knew that our society was
fraught with wars and civil unrest. The Viet Nam war was raging
back home, or at least it was at the time I was transferred here.
There were also peace marches and demonstrations by students
and Hippies and young men who were refusing to honor the draft.
The war was being brought right into our living rooms through the
miracle of TV, in living color, mostly blood red. I, myself, was
against this war, but had never participated in the marches and
demonstrations.
I had participated in the Hippy movement, wearing bell-
bottoms and love beads and had even lived in a commune. I even
felt I understood the meaning of the slogan make love not war. I
also felt our US government was populated with con artists and
thieves whose concerns gravitated toward power and money
rather than the needs and interests of the common citizen. I also
knew that there was a lot of research going on, in an effort to find
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a biological agent that could be used as a weapon. Everything he

said had the ring of truth, and that was a very frightening
prospect. I could feel myself shaking with that fear.
“Can you stop this war that is going to destroy my society? I
asked, my voice weak and shaky. “What about this device that is
going to create a problem for much of the Milky Way?”
“We hope that is possible,” he replied, placing his hand on
my shoulder, feeling my body shake with fear. “Although it is not
so much a war, but rather a series of events that the majority of
society will have no knowledge of until after the fact. As for the
creation of the device that causes the more extensive problem,
we are working on that two, but the alternative, if we can stop it,
are the events I just told you about. It is this alternative time line
that, as you can see, will be so devastating to your planet. That is
why we have been transferring so many people to Anchor Station
and then on to the microcosms of society we have built so that
they can learn and practice new ways of living, thinking and
interacting with one another, preliminary to their reinsertion into
Earth’s society. We are hoping to shift the focus of consciousness
away from the material and toward the spiritual. It’s a long
process, but we have time on our side. We discovered the
problem quite some time back, and have been reeducating
individuals since about two centuries before your birth.”
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Kerry Dennis
“Is the Hippy movement your doing?” I asked, feeling a little

more hopeful.
“Could be,” he said, as he nodded and winked. “But I am
certain that one of our special groups did start something called
The Beat Movement.”
“I read about that,” I said, my shaking almost gone. “I think
that was sort of the father of the Hippy movement. I’m a Hippy.
“Really”? He picked up Piddles and began scratching him
behind his ears. “Tell me about what it is like to be a Hippy.”
“Well, we’re sort ‘a rebels. We don’t believe in war. We
believe that everyone should be allowed to live the way they want
to. We believe in getting back to nature and communal living. We
don’t believe in government, at least not the one we have.” I stood
there trying to think what else the Hippies believed in, but even
though I had lived in a commune, I hadn’t learned a great deal
about their philosophy due to my emotional difficulties. “I don’t
know much more.” Then, remembering the time our commune
spent at the Renaissance Fair in the hills above San Francisco, I
added, “I do know they are really into stuff like psychic
phenomenon, tarot cards, astrology and Eastern Religions.”
“An interesting culture,” said Aranon, probably knowing more
about it than I did. He picked up Piddles and started back toward
the portal. I followed him. When we reached the portal, and he
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began to program it, he turned to look at me and said; “I still owe

you a vacation. Our last one didn’t turn out as I had hoped.”
I felt a grin sweep across my face. Going on an adventure
has always been exciting to me. “Where would we go?” I asked,
thinking I had already been to Colony Five, and it was just like
Earth, with a few twists that may have come from Earth’s future. I
was hoping to see something new, something alien.
“Well,” he said, his face thoughtful. “I suppose we could go
back to colony Five and you could see more than just a shopping
mall and the inside of a tract home.” He smiled.
“Nope, it’s just like Earth. I’d rather go somewhere really
different.”
“Okay,” he replied with a grin. “I think I know just the place.”
“Can we go right now? Through the portal?”
“I think we will need a tri-car for this trip,” he said. “I also
think we will need to do a little planning. I’ll need to clear it with
Dorn as well. It may be a good idea if you take a little nap first too.
You’ve been through quite a bit in the last twenty four hours.”
“But if I had said Colony Five was okay we would have just
gone, wouldn’t we?”
“Probably, but then we would have had a place to stay on
Colony Five, and you could have gotten some rest before we
went exploring. I will have to arrange a place for us to stay on
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Archana, and get our arrival cleared with their port authority.”
“Don’t they have a portal?” I asked.
“We’re working on it. They are not too inclined to accept new
technology.” He programmed the portal and we went through.
“Are they really backward?” I asked as we started toward my
room.
“Not hardly,” he said. “They are just wary of technology.”
“How can they be an advanced race without technology?”
“They have their own brand of technology,” he explained.
“Why don’t you look them up on the Com-Con, (communications
console). The English word for their planet is Archana, that’s A R
C H A N A,” he spelled. We walked in silence for a time and then
Aranon opened my door. He put Piddles down and the little dog
followed me inside. He smiled and waved as he closed the door.
I sat in front of the communications console reading about

Archana as Piddles lay curled up in my lap.
Archana is the home of three advanced life forms. It is the
original home of the Meathos. The Meathos is a psychically based
life form that assists the Brotherhood with transferees, through the
process of reconnecting them to their past experiences and the
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reorientation of their conscious perceptions concerning those

experiences. They have the capacity to connect with an
individual’s permanent atom and the many life experiences that
are stored within it. The Meathos lends itself well to the process of
a neural interface through which facilitators can join their charges
not only in reviewing their experiences, but also in feeling the
actual physical impact of those experiences. The Meathos also
has the capacity to communicate with those who have been
immersed in their physical presence, without the necessity of
immersion, through dreams and visions. In the case of Earth born
individuals, The Meathos appears in visions as angels or other
religious thought-forms that are acceptable to them. They are very
supportive of the work being done on Anchor. They often form a
bond with a specific individual that endures beyond the work done
with their facilitators.
It is also the home of the Sensarians (English translation),
who are able to connect with the sensual capacities of human
visitors, providing vicarious experiences that are profound and
often life changing. The Sensarians are bipedal humanoids that
experience life on a level that is devoid of any artificiality. They
shun technology, viewing it as inappropriate and distracting.
The society of the Sensarians is well developed and highly
advanced in spite of the lack of technological development. Their
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communication system is facilitated by The Meathos, who not

only provides intercontinental voice communications, but also
visual communications as well. They also have the capacity for
intercontinental travel as well as instantaneous intergalactic
travel, all without the necessity of technologically devised
vehicles. In essence, they have the capacity to teleport to any
space-time coordinate at will. They also have the capacity to
transport other individuals, even large numbers of individuals,
according to their needs and desires, to alternate space-time
coordinates.
Archana is also the home of the Siminians (English
Translation), a simian type species that is also sentient. The
Siminians are ape-like huminoid bipeds that have a unique social
bond with the Sensarians and the Meathos. They also have a
highly developed culture of spirituality. This spirituality is most
evident in the regular community gatherings called Think-Sees,
during which they communicate cultural, social and spiritual
anthologies that are uplifting, instructive, and multi-cultural
through the use of a vibrational interface assisted by the
Sensarians. To be sure, their stories and songs are not
obstructed by any language barriers, the meaning and emotional
impact of them being accessible to all other sentient life forms that
hear them. Often, during the Think-See substance is manipulated,
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with the most phenomenal results.

Archana is a beautiful planet, filled with giant trees within
which the Siminians and some Sensarians make their homes.
The climate is semi-tropical, and the temperature stays between
68˚ and 88˚. Earthers describe the climate as terrarium-like, in
that it is very humid and high in oxygen. There are constant rains
on the continent where the Simians live, although much of the
ground area, except for the seas, are shielded from the
downpours by the dome of trees, who’s leaves absorb the water
and then release it into the air, in much the same way as the
oxygen is released.
Travel on the Siminian continent is accomplished through
networks of giant branches, as well as through teleportation. It is
said that one can traverse the entire continent through this
network of branches. Although clouds and the trees block out
much of the sun, from a G type star, there is more than enough
ambient light to see due to a florescent algae that grows on the
trunks of the trees and on the undersides of their leaves. This
florescent algae tends to glow brighter in the daytime than at
night, as its phosphorescence is triggered by the influx of UV rays
that the clouds do not block. The branch roads are generally as
wide as an Earth-type super highway, and have been graded and
enclosed by foliage, which act as barrier walls, preventing
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accidental falls. The most common vehicles on these roads are

personal powered cycles driven either by pedal-power or
telekinetic processes. No fuels are used in the transportation
devices on Archana.
The door opened while I was reading and Aranon entered,
smiling. “I see you took my advice and looked it up. What do you
think? Would you like to go there?”
“Yes!” I said, excited. “It would be really neat to see the
home of the Meathos, and the other beings that live there sound
fascinating, especially the Siminians! Are they the same little furry
guys that I saw on my first trip to Top Side?”
“No, the Siminians are more your size, and although a few
have come here for services, they usually obtain whatever
assistance they need from the Sensarians and the Meathos with
whom they share their world,” he explained.
“They sound fascinating! When can we go?”
“Is now soon enough?”
“Now would be good,” I said, “but what about Piddles?”
“We can take him with us if you like, or we can leave him
with Sam and Jeannie.”
“I’d like to take him, but he might get lost or something and
then I would feel just awful. So, I guess we should leave him with
Sam and Jeannie.”
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“We’ll stop by their quarters on our way to the tri-car port.”

I reached down and grabbed Piddles and we started into the
corridor. “I didn’t nap,” I confessed, as we made our way through
a moderate crowd.
“That’s okay,” he replied, keeping his hand on my shoulder
to keep us together. “You can rest on the trip there. We can leave
now, but our arrival will need to be delayed in order that there can
be the proper delegation to meet us when we arrive. “
“So, we’re going to be chaperoned?”
“I would prefer to view it as a guided tour. Each of Archana’s
sentient races will be represented, and will translate for us, as
well as introduce us to their rituals. We can choose any one of the
three to be our guide.”
I wasn’t quite sure what to make of that. “Have you been
there before?” I asked.
“Yes, many times.” We had arrived at the rotunda, and were
moving toward the gate.
“So what are these rituals?” I had pictures of us having to
strip naked, because clothes are forbidden on their world. I
shivered at the thought.
“Well, there are a few things that you will have to do in order
to show your respect for their society and some questions you
must answer, in order for them to decide whether your visit would
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be appropriate at this time.” He turned to me and grinned and

winked.
“So what I got ‘a do is go through some sort of rite of
passage just to visit there?” I asked, fearful of what I might have
to do in order to show respect.
“Don’t worry, my friend, they will all love you. Take my word
for it. The Meathos already loves you.”
After telling the man operating the portals controls our
destination, we followed the line of beings going through the
portal. Obviously, it was evening when we arrived in Top Side,
and I could see the remnants of a rosy sunset through the
transparent dome. Aranon deviated from our usual path as we
walked into a residential area. After about two blocks, he turned
into a walkway that lead to a Southwestern type home,
surrounded with a fenced yard and many trees and flowering
plants. He opened the gate and I hung back.
“Come on,” he said, holding the gate for me. “This is Sam
and Jennie’s place.”
“Maybe you should take Piddles, and I’ll just wait here.” I
replied, not wanting to face them right now.
“Come on, Christy, everything is fine now. No reason to feel
apprehensive.” He put his hand to my back and shoved me
through the gate and then let it close behind us.
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“I’m not apprehensive,” I responded, trying to keep pace with

him up the long sidewalk. “I’m disturbed at the thought that
anyone would subject themselves and their children to
experiments.”
“First of all, the experiment was not what we did biologically
to generate the child. For that we used proven procedures that
are harmless to the parents and the infant. In fact, you might
consider the whole process to be rather normal. The experiment
had more to do with attempting to attract a more experienced
soul.”
“I don’t get it,” I said, feeling I was getting a snow job.
Aranon knocked on the door, and in my arms, Piddles
barked in response. We both laughed. A light came on,
illuminating us standing there on the porch. The door came open
and Sam flashed us both a wide smile.
“Come in!” he said, and we stepped into a small hallway.
“What brings you by, Aranon?” He asked as he led us into the
spacious carpeted living room where Jennie sat on an overstuffed
couch watching TV.
“We are going on a little vacation, and Christy was
concerned about Piddles safety, so we thought we would bring
him back to you.” Replied Aranon as we entered the living room.
He nodded to Jennie.
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“I mean, after all, he is your dog,” I interjected.

“He certainly looks calm and happy in your arms,” said Sam,
smiling and scratching piddles head.
“Oh, my gosh!” Exclaimed Jeannie, getting up and coming
over to us standing just inside the living room. “I have never seen
him that calm, ever!”
“It sure is a wonder, isn’t it Jennie,” said Sam.
I just stood there; still not getting what all the fuss was about,
while Aranon stood beside me, grinning. “He’s still as frisky as
ever. He just likes to be held, is all. Aranon has also held him and
he is just like this for him too.”
“Ah,” replied Sam, rolling his eyes. “But that’s different.
Aranon has a calming effect on every creature he comes in
contact with.”
“Well, I guess I do too. I mean, animals just like me, is all.” I
said, defensively. I shifted Piddles in my arms so that I could hand
him over to Sam. “I’m sure he will be glad to be back home with
you.” I held Piddles out for Sam to take.
Sam took him, reluctantly. Piddles began to squirm and yip,
so he put him down. Piddles ran through the house like his tail
was on fire, stopping to sniff at each doorway. Finally, he ran back
to us and began jumping on my legs.
“I think he misses Andy,” I said.
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“Andy won’t be back for a few days,” said Sam, his face
grim.
“Well, at least you will have Piddles to keep you company,” I
replied, trying to smile sunnily.
“Yes, well, I don’t suppose you could take him with you,”
Jennie interjected.
I looked at Aranon, who just smiled and awaited my
response. “I don’t think it would be very good for him, being on a
space ship with no grass, and on a planet where you have to get
from one place to another by climbing through trees. He might get
lost. Maybe there are predators there that would gobble him up
while I wasn’t looking. Why is this such a big deal?”
“Because we can see that he has bonded with you and feel it
might be unfair to him to separate him from you.”
“Golly! I’ve only had him for a few hours! For gosh sakes,
he’s your dog!” I turned and started toward the door, Piddles at
my heals all the way. “You stay!” I shouted at him, reaching for
the doorknob. I pulled open the door and quickly stepped out,
shutting it behind me. I started down the walkway when I heard
him howling and crying on the other side of the door, his toenails
scraping on the wood. I just didn’t understand this. It was like
something out‘a Twilight Zone.
In a few minutes the scraping and the crying stopped, and I
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leaned against a tree, feeling confused by that whole scene.

Then, Aranon stepped outside, holding Piddles, and I looked at
him, even more confused.
“I think we need to take him with us,” he said, stepping up to
me.
“This is weird,” I said, taking the little dog, as he handed him
to me. He licked my face, his tail wagging wildly. “I mean what is
going on here? I figured we would just drop off the little guy and
that would be that.”
“Well, it appears that there is definitely more here than
meets the eye,” he responded, opening the gate.
“Yeah, like they got the little guy for Andy, and now that he
could care less about him, they are looking for a new home for
him,” I said. “But, Aranon, I’m not going to be here that long. I’ll be
going home soon.”
“Maybe, maybe not,” he replied, with a smile, his eyes
twinkling.
“I can’t stay here forever. I have to get back to my life, as
abysmal as it has been.”
“And maybe Piddles’ relationship with you has a greater
purpose. The greater picture isn’t always as apparent as we
would like. No doubt, more will be revealed.”
“So what do we do with him while we take our trip?”
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“We take him with us.” He smiled and scratched Piddles

behind the ear, earning a wag and a lick.
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Nineteen
I lay in a berth on the tri-car, Piddles curled up beside me.

Aranon insisted that I take a nap, but sleep wasn’t coming. The
strange events with Sam and Jennie disturbed me. They were
nice, and quick to compliment, but they were very strange too. I
couldn’t figure them out. Why had they turned over their child to
experimenters? Why had they insisted I keep Piddles, when we
were going on a trip, when they know I am not going to be at
Anchor long?
“I can tell you aren’t napping,” said Aranon, from the control
center, a bit of humor in his voice.
“I’m confused by what happened back there. Why did they
insist I take the dog?”
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“They didn’t. The dog insisted we take him.”

“Well yeah,” I replied, in a cutting voice, “I’m the only one
who’s paid any attention to him in ages. But he would’ve gotten
over it.”
“Possibly, but he was very insistent, and I am sworn to
attend to the needs of others, regardless of their species.”
“But what if he gets lost or something?”
A gentle smile swept across Aranon’s face. “It is pointless to
speculate as to what may happen in Piddles’ future. A future, I
must add, that will unfold with or without your participation.” I
started to interrupt, but he continued. “Ahh, but it was Piddles
choice to be with you, and therefore it will be Piddles who will
determine his future. In the meantime, because Piddles choices
are often inappropriate, due to his present level of acquired
intelligence, and his sensual exuberance, it would be best that
you look after him as best you can, and I will agree to do so as
well.”
“I’ll take care of the puppy,” said a child’s voice, shyly
slipping past the sensation I was having of getting a talking to, by
a father figure who was letting me know that I needed to stop
avoiding responsibility. I guess it triggered something, which
brought out one of the children in me. Maybe an experience that
she was connected to, although at this time I knew nothing of
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MPD/DID, Multiple Personality Disorder/Dissociative Identity

Disorder. Then, I was hardly aware of her slipping past me and
grabbing my conscious focus.
“Is this Lynn?” Asked Aranon, with just a hint of surprise on
his face.
“Yeah,” she said and then grinned broadly. Then, without
warning, she stuck out her lower lip and whined, “You forgot my
teddy bear.” She covered her face with her hands, and whined
wordlessly. Piddles lifted his head, tilting it back and forth. Then
as she continued her whining, he was up in her face trying to
push her hands away and lick her face, his tail wagging furiously.
She started to giggle.
Then Aranon started to chuckle. “I think the puppy is here to
take care of you.” He patted the seat next to him. “Come, sit in the
seat next to me and tell me the secret you have come to tell.”
Lynn got up from the berth and shuffled over to him like a
small child unsure of the intentions of a very big adult. Her head
down, eyes peeking up, ready to duck in case a blow was on its
way. She climbed into the seat like a child would, knees first, and
then turning to sit. The seat lent itself nicely to the illusion of her
being a small child, due to it huge size.
“Tell me your secret,” repeated Aranon, turning toward her
and smiling. He sat with his hands on his lap, his knees apart,
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leaning back, so as to be as unthreatening as possible and still

remain open.
“I gots lots ‘a secrets,” she said, rubbing her hands up and
down from her knees to her stomach and back to her knees. She
was nervous and her adrenalin was pumping. Her face was stoic.
“I only want to hear the one that brought you here this time,”
he smiled.
“I always wanted a doggie, but I’m not ‘sponsible a’nuff. We
used to have a doggie, but we had to leave her when we moved,
and she only liked my mommy, anyway.”
“And you wanted a doggie that would love you and that you
could take care of yourself, is that it, Lynn?”
“Yeah, but I’m not ‘sponsible a’nuff.” Her hands began to
slow down, and her face was more expressive.
“Well, why don’t we just see if that is true, okay?” Asked
Aranon, reaching down and picking up Piddles, who was jumping
and yipping at his feet. “I would like you to take care of him. You
watch him, and you feed him, and when we get to a place where
he can go outside, you walk him. Is it a deal?”
She nodded, apprehensively. Then with a trembling lower lip
she said, “I can’t.”
“Why not?” He asked, gently.
“’Cause I only get to come sometimes, an I don’t never know
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when.” A tear slid from her eye and she froze, searching his face
for the familiar reaction to tears. It wasn’t there. Another tear slid
out.
“But you are always here, little one, didn’t you know that?”
He asked, smiling at her.
“No, I’m not,” she cried, streams of tears now flowing down
her face.
“Well, I will tell you what. Until you can begin to reconnect
with the rest of yourself, I will call you to come visit. When I say:
Lynn, come here, you will come and see me. How does that
sound?”
“Okay,” she said, hiccupping a little.
“I will call you when the doggie needs you to take care of it,
okay?”
“Okay.” She brightened a little, as she wiped her face on her
sleeves. “You promise?”
“I promise. Do you promise?”
“’K,” she nodded. She smiled a little and reached for Piddles.
Aranon placed him in her lap, and he wriggled around until he
found a comfortable position and then went limp with trust and
relaxation. Lynn sat petting him while Aranon went to the map
projector and began looking through different star maps.
“Were you able to stay in contact with what was going on,
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Christy,” asked Aranon after a moment, when he recognized a

shift in my posture, “or were you pushed aside?”
I was momentarily shocked by his question. No one had ever
asked me how it felt when another took over, or if I remembered
anything. Then I had to think about it. Did I remember anything? “I
remember feeling sort of ashamed and then hearing that little
voice that was not me.” I said. “That’s all.”
“That was Lynn,” said Aranon, coming back to sit beside me.
“I think she carries a lot of your shame. She wants to take care of
the dog. I told her she could. I think if she feels she is successful
at this task, it will help her and you as well.”
“I don’t see how that can happen. I mean I’m here and I want
to stay here.”
“Well, you might just want to agree to allow her to come
forward from time to time. After all, Lynn is part of you, and carries
some of the keys to your emotional healing,” he chided, gently.
“So, what do you want?” I asked, feeling suddenly angry.
“You want me to just back off and let this little kid go on this trip
with you? Am I supposed to feel good about this?”
“No,” said Aranon, holding up his hand in an effort to shift my
focus. “I am asking you to agree to allow her to use the
consciousness, for brief periods, to see to the dogs needs and to
play with him. Say, fifteen minutes every three hours, so that she
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can rebuild her confidence in herself, and yours as well. I also

want you to know that I will keep my word to her and give her
those brief periods of time, because she deserves it and so do
you.”
“I guess I really don’t have much say in the matter.” I
retorted.
“True, but you have a choice as to how you interpret the
experience. I am giving you a chance to learn about yourself, to
attempt to remain consciously connected, even while Lynn is
expressing through your body. I am certain you can do this. If you
had the capacity to meditate your way to Anchor, you certainly
have the capacity to stay consciously connected while she is
using the vehicle. Agreeing to allow it, simply gives you a leg up
on gaining this ability, as you will always function better when you
are not struggling against yourself.”
“Ok, I’ll allow it,” I said, feeling the shame that always
followed the experience of an authority figure laying down the law
to me. This time I struggled to stay in control. Nevertheless, there
was a price to that. In experiencing that shame, in experiencing
the sense of worthlessness that accompanies it, always caused
my gut to hurt so bad that I’d double over. Then the fantasies
would come and I would long for that secret experience I was still
unable to articulate.
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Aranon reached over to place his hand on my back as I

doubled over in pain. I began rocking back and forth with the
power of it. “How can I help you, Christy?” He asked, and his
voice held a note of concern.
“It hurts!” I managed; gasping in pain, fear seizing me.
Aranon picked me up and took me back to the berth. As
soon as he put me down I rolled into a ball. “Do I need to turn
around and get us back to Anchor?” He asked.
I didn’t want to turn around. I didn’t want this to be
happening at all! But this is the way it had always been for me. No
matter where I was or what I was doing, something would happen
that would trigger that deep sense of shame and I would just
loose it. Then, no matter how much I wanted to get it together and
go back to whatever I was doing, in class, out with friends, in
church, at home in my room, I was locked into this terrifyingly
painful ride until it ran it’s course. Sometimes it took a while, and
the effects hung on even longer, making me reticent, quiet and
fearful. “No, don’t turn back!” I sobbed, my body shaking with pain
and fear.
“Christy, either you tell me how I can help you, or I will have
to take us back to Anchor. We can continue on our vacation when
you are feeling better. You won’t loose out on anything even if you
are unable to allow me to help you right now. I will just need to get
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you to the Meathos.”

“No!” I cried again. “You can make the pain go away! I give
you permission! Please, just take it away, please!” I sobbed, my
whole body shaking in pain and fear.
“You realize that in order to do that I’ll have to make psychic
contact with you?”
“I don’t care!” I cried, in a frenzy of shaking. “Just take it
away!”
Aranon reached out and placed his hand on my forehead
and the pain subsided and then my whole body went limp. He
held his hand there until I fell asleep.
“Lynn,” called Aranon, “come here,”
Lynn stirred my sleeping body and then sat up, rubbing her
eyes. She looked around, blinking sleepily.
“The dog is hungry,” said Aranon, pointing. “His food is in the
bowl on that little table over there, just waiting for you to give it to
him.” He smiled at her as she stretched and got off the berth.
“I’ll feed him,” she said. She went to the table and picked up
the dish of food and then called Piddles with a kissing noise.
“Here doggie.”
Piddles ran to her all wags and smiles, his tongue lolling,
and then danced around her as she carried the dish to an empty
space along the bulkhead and put it down. Piddles began to
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inhale it immediately. She sat down on the floor beside him,

petting him while he ate, his tail wagging with each contact of her
hand. When he finished, he curled up beside her on the floor.
“There is a bowl of water there too, Lynn. Why don’t you put
it down beside his food dish?”
“Ok,” she said getting up. She got the water and put it beside
the food bowl. Piddles sniffed it, drank deeply for a few seconds,
and then went back to sit on the bed, wagging his tail and looking
at her.
“I think Piddles is telling you that it’s ok to go back to sleep
now,” said Aranon.
“Ok,” she replied, and shuffled back to the bed and climbed
in. “Thank you for calling me,” she said, snuggling down into the
pillow.
“You’re welcome,” he replied. “Thank you for feeding the
dog.”
I turned over in the berth and realized that we were still on

the ship. I was glad. I was really looking forward to seeing
Archana. “How long did I sleep?” I asked.
“Oh, a couple of hours, give or take a few minutes,” he
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responded. He was sitting in a chair beside the berth I lay in. “Are
you aware that I called Lynn to feed the dog?”
“No.”
“That’s okay, I just thought I would let you know. Next time I
will let you know before I call her, so that you can be prepared to
allow it to happen, consciously. But before that can happen, I
think we are probably going to need a little help from the
Meathos.”
“Well, we are going to Meathos’ home planet. Maybe they
will help me there. I mean, they are the same, aren’t they?”
“Yes,” he said, grinning. “They are the same, and remain
consciously connected in spite of their distance from the Mother
Pool.”
“So maybe we can get their help on Archana.”
“Maybe, but our reason for being there is listed as instructive
so we may have to re-petition in order to have that added to our
agenda.”
“How long does it take to get there?” I asked, wondering why
it was taking so long.
“That depends,” he replied. “The truth is we could be there in
just a couple of minutes. The reason for the delay is first;
concerns about you, and second; we are still awaiting a port
clearance.”
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“So,” I asked, “what’s taking so long?”

“Remember they are psychic. I am sure they too have some
concerns about you.”
“I’m fine now. Thank you for helping me like that. I’m sorry it
happened, but I am glad you were willing to help me.”
“I am always willing to help you,” he replied, his face
softening. “I am also willing to forgo helping you if that is your
choice. Your healing must come from within you. I am just here to
facilitate your choices toward that end.”
“So, is there some way you can call and tell them that I am
okay now and ask if the Meathos would be willing to help me with
this Lynn thing?”
“I will check in a few minutes with the Port Authority to see
how their plans are shaping up. In the meantime, I would like to
ask you about something I encountered while assisting you with
your pain.”
“Don’t go there,” I replied, apprehensively, knowing exactly
what he was talking about. “Not now. If you open that can of
worms we will have to turn back, and I would really rather not go
there right now.”
Nevertheless, thoughts and emotions began churning within
me and I could feel myself loosing it again. Just the hint of
possibility that Aranon might have seen my secret wish was
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enough to bring it all back up to the surface. I moaned, gripping

my stomach again.
“It appears that even thinking about this tends to bring it up,
Christy. I don’t see how we can continue on without dealing with it
first.”
I was determined that this would not get in our way, and
struggled to push down the pain and block out the thoughts and
feelings. Everything was swirling, and I had to gasp to get air in
my lungs. Then that ugly blackness swooped down and
enveloped me again.
“God Damn it!” Yelled a voice that was not mine. “Can’t you
just leave well enough alone, Godzilla?” Kerry had grabbed the
consciousness and sat up, balling her hands into fists, ready for a
physical confrontation.
“I am concerned that Christy is not going to be able to get
the full benefit of this trip while she continues to struggle with her
internal pain,” he responded, taking the shift calmly.
“Well if you would stop bringing it up, jerk-off, she might have
an easier time with it!” Her fists came up, ready to attack.
“Yes, possibly,” he replied, in a calm and friendly tone, “but it
will still be there, right under the surface, awaiting the next event
that triggers it, which can come at any time, it appears.”
“Look dumb-head, we have lived with this for years and
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years, and what brings it up are people like you who keep picking
and picking at it,” replied Kerry in a loud and angry voice, “Just
BACK OFF!”
“Do you have the capacity to absorb these thoughts and
feelings and keep them safely out of her consciousness for a
period of time?”
Her face went pensive, as she considered this. After all, she
was the Protector. Could she do that? The others inside had the
capacity to keep other painful secrets safe from intrusion, why not
her?
“I’ve never thought about that,” she said, her voice softer,
almost like Christy’s. “I might be able to do that. I just never tried
before.”
“What if I helped you do it?” He asked. “Would you be willing
to release those secrets when I asked you to?”
“How would you be able to help me do that?” She asked,
and then her face changed back again to the anger and
belligerence that Kerry commanded so well. “You better not be
messing with me buster!”
“I can help you by making psychic contact with you and
assisting you in building an energy field around the secret. You
would have complete control over those thoughts and feelings
though, so I would need your word that you will release them only
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when I ask you to do so. I would be placing you on your honor

and I will be placing my trust in you to do what is appropriate, at
the appropriate time.”
This caught her off guard. No one, outside of the system,
had ever trusted her with anything. It might be interesting to see if
he really meant it or was just jerking her around.
“I’d be putting you on your honor too, Gonzo, and if you’re
messing with me, I’ll hurt you, got that?”
“Agreed. If I, in any way, cause you to feel as though you are
being controlled or manipulated, you have my permission to hurt
me. I’ll even stand still for you, and not fight back. Is it a deal?”
“How do I know I can really trust you?” She asked, jutting her
chin out and giving him a dangerous glare.
“Well, that works both ways,” he responded, softly. “How can
I be sure I can trust you?”
“Well, I’m here to protect this system, and I always do what
is best for the whole. I only mess with people when I think they
are messing with us.”
“And do you think I am messing with you or your system?”
Asked Aranon, smiling at her belligerence in an effort to express
her toughness.
Again, she softened. She smiled to herself, imagining that
she now had power over saints and angels. “Okay, I get your
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point,” she said. “I’ll keep my word if you keep yours.”

“It’s a deal,” he replied, encouraged by her willingness to
trust, something that was innately difficult for her, given the part
she played in the system.
“So, what do I have to do?” She asked, relaxing a little,
releasing her fisted hands and letting them drop into her lap.
“Just lay back and try to relax. I will need to touch you, is that
all right?”
“That depends on where you touch this body, jerk-off. I won’t
put up with any shit, got that?”
“I’m just going to touch your forehead. You may feel a
tingling sensation, but I will not harm you in any way, you have my
word.”
“Fine,” she said, a little less belligerently, “Let’s get this over
with.”
Aranon reached out and laid his hand on her forehead. Her
eyes showed a little fear, and then she smiled and closed them.
He kept his hand there for a few minutes and then took it away.
Kerry had gone deep within, holding the secret wish that fed the
storms of emotion, keeping it safe until the time was right.
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Kerry Dennis
A few minutes later I stirred and looked over to see Aranon

still sitting in the chair beside my berth. “I’m sorry,” I said, knowing
that I had been away again. “Are we going to have to turn
around?”
“I don’t think so,” he said, pensively. “I am hoping that you
will begin to feel better now, in more control of your emotions.”
“Okay,” I said, realizing that I was feeling better and that
there were no dark thoughts surging through my mind, no pain at
all in my gut. “Have you talked to the Port guys? When can we
land?”
“Well, soon,” he replied, “but first we need to take care of
Piddles needs, so I have landed on an uninhabited planet where
he can get a much needed walk.”
“Really?” I asked, fascinated by the thought of seeing a
virgin planet.
“Yes, but I will need to ask Lynn to come forward, so that
she can walk the dog. I would like for you to try to remain
connected to the consciousness, even though you will be in the
background. Are you willing to try?”
“You bet your ass I’ll try,” I said, feeling cheated by his
determination to allow Lynn to see this new planet, not at all sure
that I could stay aware while she was in control.
“Good,” he said, smiling softly. “Lynn, come here,” he
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intoned, with authority.

I felt her stir within me and felt her looking through my eyes.
She smiled and sat up on the berth.
“It’s time to take the dog for a walk,” he said, soothingly. “I
stopped at a really nice place so that we can all go outside.”
“Okay.” She got off the bed and then turned and picked up
Piddles. We followed Aranon to the hatch and waited while he
opened it and extended the stairs. I was seeing all this, but I
couldn’t interact. Lynn was in control. It felt strange and it was
exasperating when he opened the door and I couldn’t express my
wonder at the alien-ness of the planet as she looked out at it.
“Goodness!” she exclaimed. “Are we in Oz?”
“Oz?” Asked Aranon, puzzled. Then after a moment of
thought he replied, “No, Lynn, but we are on another world that is
different from Earth.” He chuckled at her wide-eyed wonder as he
helped her down the stairs. He clipped the dog leash to Piddles
collar and handed her the handle.
“Wow!” She said, looking around her in fascination as she
put Piddles on the ground. He immediately began running toward
some trees, or at least I think they were trees. He almost jerked
our arm out of its socket in his enthusiasm.
The sky was a violet color, the foliage on the trees and
plants, purple and blue. It was like one of those photographs
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where they use an alternate color scheme. There was no doubt in

my mind that this was an alien planet!
A cool breeze blew, laden with scents that were alien but not
distasteful. Alien birds called in alien voices, and somewhere
water made chortling noises. We walked, pulled along,
laboriously, by little Piddles. He seemed to have the strength of a
Great Dane as he literally dragged us toward the shrubs that
looked both a little like trees and a little like large bushes. As we
approached the plants, I could see that they were laden with
gleaming indigo and silver flowers that exuded a scent that was
nearly overpowering.
Piddles enthusiastically relieved himself several times, while
in intervals delighted himself with all the wonderful new scents.
Lynn followed him, hanging on to his leash for dear life, like a real
trooper.
In my minds eye I could see her, a disheveled eight-year-old
in oversized jeans, belted tightly at the waist causing large
gathered ripples of denim ruffles sticking out over the belt. The
cuffs were folded up neatly; probably three times; the jeans being
hand me downs from her older brother. I saw her wearing a long
sleeved polo shirt on top, tucked neatly into her jeans, the sleeves
pushed up in ripples from her wrists. I saw her platinum blond hair
as messy and tangled, and yet charming as it surrounded her
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cherubic face like a golden halo. I knew she was grinning and
laughing, as she allowed herself to be tugged along by the
exuberant little dog with a strength and vitality that belied his size.
I am thoroughly delighted by her happy screams as Piddles
tugs her here and there, and I also feel h e r delight and her
wonderful sense of freedom and abandon. A child’s dream is
being fulfilled; a nice giant has come to take her to an enchanted
land where everything is amazing and magical. I joined her, in her
magical dream, dancing with the dog, letting him lead, and letting
myself be surprised by his sudden exuberant shifts in direction
and yet feeling totally trusting, because the good giant was there,
watching over us.
“Time to go back now, Lynn,” called Aranon, waving and
smiling at her.
“Piddles isn’t done yet,” she said, not wanting to ever leave
this pretty place.
“Piddles will get other walks,” he said, motioning her back.
“There are more wonderful places for us to visit.”
“Okay,” she said, a bit sadly, “I’m comin’.” We ran to Aranon,
and he led us back into the ship.
We climbed aboard, piddles in our arms, feeling hopeful,
feeling renewed. Lynn took Piddles to his water and took off his
leash. She turned to Aranon and handed him the leash.
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“Do I got’a go now?” she asked. I felt her hurt, which she
quickly wrapped in her resignation. She hung her head.
“What do you think, Christy,” he asked, seeming to know that
I was there this time. “Does she have to go?”
I shook our head “no” while she crossed her fingers and
chanted under her breath, “please, please, please let me stay,
please.”
“You may stay for a time,” said Aranon, grinning at her.
Immediately, she started yelling “YEAH!” and jumping up
and down in circles. Aranon chuckled at her antics. I was laughing
with her, too. Then suddenly her curiosity peeked and she
wanted to know about everything. “Where are we going?” She
asked, running to Aranon and looking way up at him. I thought he
made me feel small; to Lynn he actually w a s a gentle giant.
“What’s it like there?”
“We are going to a planet some call Archana,” he replied,
kneeling down and hugging her to him, gently. We felt our trust
growing. “It is a very beautiful and wonderful place. You will get to
come out and see it for yourself. I will need you to take care of
Piddles there too, you know. Animals require constant attention.
That means you will get to come out a lot. And after I talk to
Christy, she may want you here more, so she can get to know you
and so you can get to know her.”
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“Who’s Chrisy?” She asked, slurring my name.

“Christy is the lady that lives in that body you are using right
now. The body belongs to both of you, but you haven’t been able
to get to know each other until now. Now, that you are able to
trust me, I can help you both to get to know each other. Would
you like to get to know her?”
“Is that why I had to stay in the closet all the time?” She
asked, bypassing his question. “Because she didn’ know I was
here?
“You won’t have to stay in the closet anymore, Lynn,” he
said compassionately. “I can help you to do what Christy is doing,
right now, which is staying just behind your eyes, watching, and
maybe feeling, but not interfering. Can you feel her there?”
“Does she hate me?” She asked, again bypassing his
question and I could feel a frightened look on her face. “Is that
why she kept me in that closet?”
“Why don’t you ask her?” He said, giving her another gentle
hug. “She can hear what you say, and you can hear what she
says inside your mind. Go ahead, ask her, little one.”
“Do you hate me Christy?” She asked me, getting the name
right.
“No,” I thought to her. “You’re right, I didn’t even know you
were there. I am really glad I got to meet you. I hope you don’t
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mind my being here with you. I really like you.”

Lynn smiled broadly, listening to my response, which was
just another magical occurrence for her, an experience not quite
real. She was living within a fairy story.
“What did she say?” Asked Aranon, hugging her again as he
saw the smile sweep across her face. “Tell me.”
“She said she liked me and she hopes I don’t mind her bein’
inside my head.” She clapped her hands and laughed delightedly.
“So I can do that too? Can I look out and watch and listen, and
not have to stay in the closet?” She was excited now, quivering as
she awaited his response.
“Yes,” he said, “sweet girl.” He picked her up and carried her
to the berth. “Are you ready to give it a try?” She nodded. “Okay,
then you need to lie down and get really comfy, and I am gonna
sit here in my chair beside you and put my hand on your
forehead. Then you will feel yourself slip backwards a little, but be
patient until Christy opens her eyes. Then you will be able to see
and hear everything that happens. You might even be able to feel,
and smell and taste too. No more closets. From now on you get to
stick around.” He winked at her as she lay down, and then
reached out and placed his hand on her forehead. I felt a shift and
opened my eyes.
“That was the most wonderful experience I’ve ever had!” I
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exclaimed, sitting up in the berth. Aranon grinned at me.

“Now we are ready to land on Archana,” he laughed. He got
up and went to the control panel and began touching lighted
buttons.
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Twenty
Aranon opened the portal so that we could watch our

approach to Archana. At first it was a shining globe, which then
became a planet swirled with clouds, mostly silver and white with
patches of blue-green. As we descended into the atmosphere,
clouds blocked any view of what was below. Then, slowly I saw
the tops of what had to be giant trees. Descending further, below
the treetops, I saw what looked like a floating City of sparkling
lights, crisscrossed with huge roads that flowed along the
spreading and intersecting branches of the giant trees, layers of
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them. We landed on a parapet which spanned several broad

branches, marked off like a parking lot into landing berths, some
of which already held small ships like ours and even a few more
expansive models, like luxury cruse liners. As Aranon opened the
door and lowered the stairs, a group shining figures approached.
I had Piddles in a backpack that Aranon had synthesized for
me, to give me a hands free way to carry him. As we went down
the steps, he stood on his hind legs inside the backpack, poking
his head out between the flaps and peeking over my shoulder at
the approaching welcoming committee, periodically cleaning my
left ear with his wet tongue. I reached back and patted his head.
His tail slapped back and forth, as he waged it enthusiastically,
making the sound of a tiny drum as it hit against the sides of the
backpack.
The welcoming committee consisted of three entities, all
astonishingly awesome. The tallest was a bipedal humanoid
being nearly as tall as Aranon, whose skin was a silvery color.
The beings sex, if that is an applicable term, was indeterminate.
I’ll call this being a he, as that was the energy I felt from him. He
was unbelievably thin, and his head appeared to be too large for
his stick-like body, and was hairless. He wore a shimmering robe
of a semi-transparent fabric, the threads of which were shining
gold and silver strands that caught the light. The most astonishing
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thing about him was that he appeared to have wings. They were
not the kind of wings you would imagine an angel had though.
They were more like webbing, which spanned down the inside of
the arm to the wrist, connecting to the trunk of the body from the
underarms to the top of his hips. He had and expressive thin face
and large almond shaped eyes that were a startling blue with
silver flecks in them. He had no ears, but there were orifices on
each side of the head, which probably served as organs of
hearing. He had a tiny button nose and a small thin mouth that
was curled up at the corners in a gentle smile.
The next being was much smaller, about my size, also a
bipedal humanoid type being, and this one gave off the energy of
a female. She was covered with silver fur except on her face and
hands, somewhat like a chimp, although that is where the
similarity ended. She was perfectly proportioned, in human terms,
her arms and legs, aside from the fur, were human looking, as
were her hands, with five digits. She also wore a shimmery robe
that was less transparent, but just as eye-catching as the others.
Her face was round and very human looking and she also had
ears. Her eyes were golden, and seemed to glow with their own
light. Beneath the robe I could see the hint of small breasts. The
robe was belted, showing off an hourglass figure. Her face shown
with humor and intelligence and she could not keep her eyes off
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of Piddles, who seemed drawn to her as well and began to wine

and strain toward her as though she were a long lost friend that
he just had to get to. I reached back and patted his head and
murmured claming words to him.
The next being was an amorphous entity, which swirled and
glowed but held no specific shape. I knew this being, in spite of
this alien personification. This was the Meathos. As my eyes held
upon the Meathos, it morphed into what can only be interpreted
as an angel, with huge white feathery wings, and a beatific
countenance that was both male and female, surrounded with soft
flowing golden hair. It wrapped itself in a filmy gown that sparkled
and shimmered in the light breeze. It nodded at me and then
smiled with a smile that imparted recognition, love and
acceptance.
“Welcome to Archana.” The silver-furred female said,
stepping forward to take my hand in a familiar handshake. I gave
her my hand and was enchanted by the sensations and visions
that seemed to fill my mind as she touched me. “We will be your
guides and interpreters, as you familiarize yourself with our
society. I am called Remmie. I represent the Siminians. I will be
acquainting you with our arts, music, and leisure pursuits.” She
then turned and indicated the tall, thin figure to her right. “This is
Amagon, the representative for the Sensarians, who will be
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acquainting you with our planet’s political and social structure, if

that is of interest to you.” Then she turned to the Meathos. “This is
the Meathos, with whom you are already acquainted. The
Meathos will be acquainting you with our spiritual practices and
history.” She then went to Aranon, shook his hand and spoke in a
language I had never heard before. It sounded almost like she
was singing him a song. To my surprise, he responded in the
same language. After she had spoken to Aranon, he took my
hand and we followed the three guides through a large set of
ornate double doors that led into what appeared to be the
hollowed-out insides of a great tree.
As soon as we entered we were asked to remove our shoes.
Then I was led one way, by Remmie, and Aranon was led another
by Amagon. I was taken into a large room that was divided up
with little cells, like bathroom stalls. Remmie explained that I must
undress and then bathe, after which I would be given suitable
attire. She asked if she could care for Piddles while I did this. I
took off the backpack and handed it to her. She withdrew Piddles
from the pack, cuddling him in her arms as he excitedly licked her
face and wagged his tail. I knew he would be just fine.
She led me to a stall where she opened a curtain. Inside was
a wooden tub filled with steaming water. At least it looked like
water. She showed me the towels, soft and voluminous, and the
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clothing I was to change into. Then she left me to undress and

bathe, closing the curtain behind her.
I got undressed, folding my clothes and placing them in
Piddles pack, and then I climbed the steps to the small, circular
deck that surrounded the wooden tub. It was a lot like a Japanese
tub that I had once seen in a movie. I eased myself into the
steamy water. I am still not certain if it was water, but it smelled
heavenly and was warm, but not too warm. I couldn’t find soap or
a washcloth, so I just rubbed myself all over, under the water,
finally submerging my head and fanning my hair with my fingers
to clean it as best I could without shampoo.
I lay in the tub, luxuriating for a while, wishing for bubbles. I
then got out, dried myself off with the soft but spongy towel that
seemed to literally suck the moisture from my body and hair. In no
time at all I was completely dry! Then I got dressed in the tunic
type clothing I was given. I felt self-conscious because I was told
to leave all of my personal effects in the cubical and had not been
provided with any underwear. I was not to bring anything I arrived
with out of the stall, so I could not wear my own underpants. The
tunic was of a white filmy material that went to just below my
knees. It was actually one piece with a head hole in the middle,
which I put my head through and then belted it at the waist with a
sash that was also provided. The sash kept the sides from flaring
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open. I was uncomfortable with this, but I figured no one would be

molesting me here, so what the heck. Finally, I put soft fabric
slippers, also provided, on my feet. They stretched over my feet
like socks, but as I walked in them, the part that made contact
with the floor grew thicker, firmer, and yet within molded to my
feet.
As I opened the curtain, Remmie stood just outside holding
Piddles, who had obviously been bathed as well, and also wore
tiny slippers on his paws. There was a halter of made of silvery
material belted around the upper part of his body to which a
silvery leash was attached. When she saw me exit the stall, she
placed him on the floor and handed me his leash.
“Your small friend is charming, and very talkative,” she said,
smiling broadly.
“Really?” I must have looked shocked by this news, for she
immediately began to tell me about her discussions with him.
“He told me that you are not one but many, and that he
adores each of you. He also told me that he has a special
message for you, which I will be glad to translate later, after you
have completed the testing phase.”
She led me from the bathing room, back into the hall we had
entered into originally. There, Aranon stood in a large white tunic
like mine. He was positively glowing, and his face was filled with
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humor, his eyes twinkling in the bright golden light. I wondered

what special secret he knew that had him so tickled.
“I’ll bet you enjoyed that bath,” he said, grinning broadly. He
took my free hand and Remmie led us into a larger room that had
a deeply religious feel to it. On the walls were tapestries depicting
representatives of each of the races of Archana as well as other
races, even human beings, sharing balls of light with one another.
There was a sanctity about the place that made me feel blessed
just by being there. There were pedestals around the room upon
which stood what appeared to be religious artifacts carved out of
many different colors of wood. I was then separated from Aranon
as Remmie led Piddles and I to a raised dais upon which sat a
Sensarian in a flowing purple robe with shining silver threads
woven through it. I couldn’t tell if this was the same Sensarian
who had greeted us on the parapet when we landed, as I was
unfamiliar with the racial nuances that personify individuality. The
being then spoke to me and Remmie turned to me, offering the
translation.
“He asks; what are you?”
“I am a human being,” I replied.
The being seemed to reiterate the same question, which was
born up by Remmie’s translation; “What are you?”
“I am a female human being,” I responded, thinking that I left
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that part out.

Again, the being reiterated that same question. There was
no doubt in my mind that it sounded exactly the same. I couldn’t
imagine what it was he wanted me to say.
“I’m a child of God,” I responded, and hoped that he wouldn’t
ask again, because I was fresh out of ideas on how else to
describe myself.
Remmie translated my response and a smile spread across
the thin, bony face of my inquisitor. His demeanor shifted, and he
asked another question.
“Why are you here?” Remmie translated.
I decided to give this question some thought, as I now
thought I knew where this was going. After a moment I responded
with, “I am here to learn.”
Remmie gave me the biggest grin and then turned to the
Inquisitor and translated my response. A broader smile traversed
his face, and his aura; the light around him; became visible to me.
I think I gasped, because he appeared the way renaissance
paintings depicted great saints and masters. The colors around
him were florescent, and consisted of vivid blues, greens, gold
and a shimmering violet. I was transfixed. Then, he asked another
question, and his colors shifted and swirled like a kaleidoscope.
“Where are you going?” Came Remmie’s translation.
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This was a difficult one to answer. I was unsure what was

meant by it. Was he asking where I was going after I left here? I
didn’t think so. I now realized that these questions had more to do
with my spiritual journey than my day-to-day life. Again, I gave it
some thought and finally decided on a response.
“I am on a spiritual journey toward truth and oneness with
my Creator,” I said, finally.
Remmie again grinned broadly, and spoke the translation to
him. His aura got even more expansive and filled with more violet
and pink, with golden swirls. He smiled at me and held out his
arms. Remmie led me up three stairs to the dais, taking Piddles
leash as he took me into his arms and enfolded me in his aura. I
felt totally unafraid. I don’t think I have ever felt such love. It was
warm and tactile, like sunshine on my skin. I could have stayed
there forever, in his embrace.
Finally, he released me, but I was reluctant to leave him.
Then, in my mind I heard a voice. “You are a part of our family
now, and wherever you may go, there we will be, to protect you
and bear you up when life’s trials weigh you down. I have placed
a portion of my love in your heart, to light your way in the dark
times and to foster joy in the bright times. Go now and learn so
that the truth can be revealed to you and you can find the path,
within your heart, that will lead you to your Creator.”
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Remmie put her arm around my shoulder and led me back

down the stairs. I looked back at the great shining being sitting
there on that dais and smiled and waved.
“Aranon was right,” said Remmie in a whisper, “you are a
charming being.” She giggled at my disorientation, as she led
Piddles and I from the sanctuary. I felt like I was walking through
Jello and kept tripping over my own feet. By the time we were
back in the entry hall, I was giggling too, giddy with the power of
the feelings of love and acceptance that were still flowing through
me.
“That was fun!” I said, still giggling. “I think he likes me!”
“Yes, he does!” Agreed Remmie, recovering from her
giggles, although her face was still wreathed in humor. “I do too! I
am so glad that Aranon decided to bring you here. I am really
looking forward to getting to know you.” She released me after a
strong hug and left the room with Piddles without another word.
There I stood there looking up at Aranon, a silly grin on my
face, while he grinned back at me. “Did I pass the test?” I asked.
“With flying colors,” he said, pulling me to him and giving me
a gentle hug as well. I was sure getting my share of warm fuzzy
hugs today.
“What now?”
“We wait for Remmie to return with Piddles, and then we get
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to go explore!”
Almost as he said it, Remmie reappeared walking Piddles on
his leash, sporting his new halter and cute little booties. It seemed
that he was literally prancing; his head and tail held high and he
had a bounce in his step I had never seen before. I wondered
what they had done for him and if he too had to undergo some
sort of test. As soon as he saw me he started to run, pulling his
leash right out of Remmie’s hand. He jumped at my feet, yipping
and laughing, his tongue lolling. I reached down and picked him
up and he immediately started licking my face, his tail wagging as
fast as it could go.
“Okay, Piddles. Just settle down.” With that he relaxed in my
arms like a sack of flour, laying his snout on my shoulder, yawing
and then closing his eyes. He was such a character I just had to
smile.
“Let me show you to your quarters, where you can relax for a
while and change into your familiar clothing if that suits you.” She
handed us each a soft shimmering package that held our
belongings. “The garment you were given is yours to keep, in
memory of your adoptive family.” With that she turned and started
for the large door we had come through from the spaceport. We
followed.
Remmie led us down a flight of stairs to a huge road that
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looked more like a giant tunnel, infolded in leafy branches. We

couldn’t see the road from the top of the stairs, all we could see
was foliage. Then, as we descended the stairs, going down
through clumps of overhanging branches, we could see the hint of
motion between the leaves. Finally, only ten feet up from the
roads surface, we could see the traffic. It was mostly foot traffic,
although there was a defined area for vehicles. The vehicles were
unusual to say the least. Some looked like bicycles, although
most of them had several riders, several wheels and sets of seats
and peddles. There must be sharp corners here in the treetops, I
guess, for each wheel was on a pivot, so that sharp turns could
be taken with ease. I watched them gliding by, each rider peddling
away. Then there were the Pedal-coaches, where there was an
enclosed cab set back on two large wheels, with a peddler up
front, like some of the bicycle rickshaws in China. Nevertheless,
the similarity ended there, as some of these coaches were big
enough to seat fifteen to twenty people in them and required
several peddlers.
We joined the foot traffic and I got an up-close look at the
beings on the road. Mostly they were Siminians. They didn’t wear
clothes, but they liked decorations. They wore head decorations,
not hats. They fastened things to their fur, like jewels, bows, bells,
charms, and talismans. They also wore necklaces and scarves,
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armbands, ankle bands and rings. They carried or held the hands
of children, small and not furry like their parents. In fact the
children looked astonishingly human, with just a light dusting of
fur on their human-like bodies. This embarrassed me, as without
the thick covering of fur like their parents, I saw them as naked. I
had difficulty even looking at them and my eyes kept looking in
places they shouldn’t. The reason this bothered me is that they
also had human-like genitalia.
“I wish the children wore clothes,” I said to Aranon.
“That would be unnatural to them.” He gave me an indulgent
smile. “If you are disturbed by it I can carry you and you can close
your eyes until we get to our living space.”
“It is disturbing, but it shouldn’t be. I mean they are just
children. Look at them. They are so sweet and cute. Why must I
see them as though they are about to be molested?”
“By molested, I take it you mean sexually violated?” Asked
Aranon, stopping me and kneeling down so that he could look into
my eyes.
“I’m sorry,” I said, feeling as though I had said something
distasteful or bad.
“No, no,” he said, gently, taking my hand. “It’s ok, I am just
concerned that you are making these connections in your mind
because of an event in your past where you were frightened,
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maybe even hurt. I am concerned that this may trigger a reaction

where you may have difficulty maintaining your composure. I think
it best that I carry you.”
“Okay.” I gave in. I was feeling a little disoriented. He swept
me up into his arms, Piddles and all; and like piddles, I laid my
head on his shoulder and closed my eyes. For a while I just
relaxed into the sway of his gait, but the naked children kept
playing in my mind. Finally, the gait changed and I opened my
eyes to see us ascending a flight of stairs. I felt much better once
I could open my eyes.
Aranon put me down when Remmie stopped at a door and
opened it. “This will be your quarters while you are here,” she
said, leading us inside. “There is a sleeping room for each of you,
although we are still seeking to locate a sleeping palate of the
proper dimensions for you, Aranon. There is a personal care
center through there,” she motioned toward a curtained doorway
across the main room in which we were standing. “And this is the
common room, complete with a habitation pool for the Meathos,
as you requested, as well as food delivery, if you require it.
Christy,” she turned to me, “Let me show you your sleeping
room.”
I followed her through a doorway and into a room with a bed,
which consisted of a thick mat on a low shelf that seemed as
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though it were built into the wall. A stack of what looked like
blankets were piled on the mat. In the corner was a small round
mat, with a small blanket folded on top of it. There were cabinets
carved out of another wall across from the bed.
“Will this meet your needs and those of your small friend?”
She asked.
“I’m sure it will be just fine,” I replied, “thank you so much for
your thoughtful care.”
“I made a promise to you. I would like to keep that promise
now,” she said, smiling at me.
“Okay.” I wasn’t quite sure what she was getting at, but
interested in finding out.
“Will you allow me to speak to Piddles?” She reached for
him, and when he heard his name he was immediately attentive.
I handed him to her and he wriggled and wagged and licked
her as she cuddled him to her breast. She spoke to him in strange
noises, and he spoke back to her in whines and yips and barks,
his tail wagging rapidly. He actually appeared to be smiling. Then
she put him down and he ran to the small mat, spreading the
folded blanket with his nose and paws and then after turning
around several times, he finally plopped down and looked at me
with his tongue lolling and a smile on his muzzle. He was
obviously satisfied with his accommodations.
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“When I was preparing him for his testing,” began Remmie”

he told me that he had a special message for you. I am now
prepared to give you that message.”
“Okay,” I said, dubious.
“He says that you are very kind to all creatures, and that you
have caught the attention of the Animal Devas.”
“Okay,” I responded, not understanding at all.
“In your world you have two evolving sentient races. One of
them is in the physical, and the other is in the etheric. The
Physical race you know as your own, human race. The etheric
race is the Devic. The Devic race is responsible for assisting the
physical in its utilization of materials. It is also responsible for the
development of soul substance in the animal and vegetable
kingdoms. The animal Devas want you to know that you have
assisted greatly in the development of animal souls, and in the
individuation of those souls in preparation for the human
experience. The Devas have the capacity to assist in drawing the
needed substance for meeting the needs of those who work with
them, those who assist them in their work. Piddles tells me that
the Devas offer you assistance, in gathering what you need to
progress toward your goals, and that all you need to do is to trust
that they are there, aware of you, and ready to assist, and then
ask them for their assistance. They can not help humans unless
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humans ask for it.” She smiled at me and then reached down and
gave Piddles a friendly pat on the head.
“Okay.” I was completely lost and had no idea what she was
talking about. As she left me alone in my room, I kept going over
what she had said, and kept coming up with a blank as to what it
all meant. Devas; a second evolving race on my planet? Why had
I never heard about them? Why hadn’t scientists discovered
them? Finally, I shrugged and went back into the other room.
“How are you feeling?” Asked Aranon, and I realized that
Remmie had left and we were alone.
“Okay, I guess.”
“Tell me about the feelings that you were experiencing while
walking on the road with the Siminians.”
“The children look human. They have no fur.”
“That is because they do not acquire their coats until after
puberty,” he explained. “It is also because in the scheme of
things, they are biologically related to you.”
“So why don’t they put clothes on them?”
“Why should they? Your inhibitions are the result of the
development of your race, and as the result of ritualistic taboos
that have become ingrained in your Racial Consciousness. They
have a different racial development and they do not have the
same taboos and rituals as Earthers. Are you suggesting that they
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clothe their children just so you will feel more comfortable around
them?”
“No,” I muttered, feeling ashamed by my feelings.
“Okay,” he smiled, “now that I know you aren’t laboring
under any unrealistic expectations, tell me about your feelings
about naked children and molestation.”
I winced at his statement. I didn’t think I could talk about it.
Actually, I wasn’t too sure I understood it myself. “All I can tell you
is that when I see naked children, I feel sick, and I want to run
away and hide.”
“Can you tell me when this began?”
“When I was little.”
“Okay, can you remember how old you were?”
“Eight maybe.”
“Hmm,” he said, “Lynn is eight.”
“So?” I asked.
“Well, alters are often generated as the result of an
experience that contains unbearable pain and fear. Many times
these experiences are based in sexual molestation. Do you
remember being sexually molested when you were eight?”
“I was sort’a kidnapped by a couple of teenagers when I was
eight, and they did nasty things to me.”
“Tell me what you mean by, sort’a kidnapped?”
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“Well, they tricked me. They told me they knew of a magical

place and that they would show it to me. My brother told me not to
go with them. I was stupid. I went.”
“And what did your brother do?”
“Went home, I guess.”
“He didn’t stay to protect you?”
“He told me not to go with them. I wouldn’t listen. I guess he
was mad at me.”
“So he abandoned you to the care of two suspect teenagers,
and just went home? Did he alert your parents?”
“Mom and dad were at work. I should have gone with him. It
was my fault I got hurt.”
“You were a curios eight-year-old child. You were excited
about the possibility that they would show you a magical place.
You have been connected to Lynn, is that an unrealistic
description of her at that time?”
“No,” I said, feeling hot tears scorch my eyes and throat.
“So the choice you made at that time, being the child that
you were; the child that Lynn is; was a natural choice. How could
she have known that she would wind up being molested?”
“But my brother told me not to go,” I sobbed; feeling caught
in a loop there was no way out of. I fell into a huge stuffed pillow;
one of several scattered about the room and buried my face,
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ashamed of my tears.
“The Meathos is on its way.” He came over to me and knelt
beside me, rubbing my back gently. “I think this is something we
will need help with.”
I was aware of another presence in the room and looked up.
The personification of an angel stood behind Aranon, it’s face
wreathed in compassion. It nodded to me and then went to the
habitation pool and melted into its familiar liquefied form.
“Come on,” said Aranon, gathering me up in his arms. “I’ll
join you in the pool.” He walked into the pool with me and we
submerged ourselves in the Meathos together.
Slowly, as the Meathos surrounded me, I began to feel a
deep sense of peace fill me, and I felt loved and accepted.
Aranon gave me time to just float in that peace.
“Lynn, come here,” spoke Aranon in my mind. That was one
of the side effects of being in the Meathos with Aranon, I could
read his thoughts and he could read mine, although Aranon had
the ability to shield his thoughts from me to some degree.
“Help! I can’t breathe!” Cried Lynn, struggling in Aranon’s
arms.
“Trust me, Lynn. Just relax and breathe normally, don’t
struggle. It’s okay, just relax and breathe normally.” As he spoke
she relaxed and finally became still.
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“Where am I?” She asked. “Where is Piddles?”

“Piddles is fine right now, Lynn. We are in a very special
place where you can here my thoughts and I can hear yours. I
asked you to come because I need to ask you about something
and I need you to take me with you into a memory you have been
holding.”
“Ok. What mem’ry?”
“Tell me about the boys who tricked you into going with them
by telling you they were going to show you a magical place.”
Almost immediately both our bodies physically jerked, as
Lynn, Aranon and I were instantly transported back to the
incident. We traveled through rapid-fire vignettes of screaming,
fear and terror, as the teenage boys played sex games with the
naked eight-year-old Lynn in a dirty, dank garage. In one scene
the boys were ripping and tearing her clothes off and she was
screaming and sobbing, fearful of what her mother would think of
her ruining the clothes that just the day before she had watched
her mother make on her sewing machine.
In another scene they were jamming sticks and pencils and
any other objects they could find in the dimly lit garage, into her
vagina. In another they were taking turns raping her. In another
was the doctor my mother took me to, to find out if I had been
damaged. In another was the look on my mothers face when she
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told me she didn’t feel a bit sorry for me, because I knew better.
“You knew not to go with those boys. Your brother told you not to
go. Whatever you got you asked for, you wanted. Otherwise you
would have minded your brother.”
The scenes continued to explode and shift through my
consciousness, Lynn and I and Aranon connected within this whirl
of terror, pain, invalidation, abandonment and loss, like being
flushed down a toilet together. Feeling not only worthless, but like
excrement. In the midst of that pain, everyone abandoned me,
even the doctor, who was irritated by my screams as he used an
adult speculum on me; instructing my mother to tell me to shut up.
I was punished for responding like the victim that I was. There
was pain upon pain, wrapped in terrifying dreams and deep wells
of desperation. Lynn died that day and Davy was born. Davy, the
little boy who sought my parents love by being just like my
brother, because my brother was the apple of their eye. Poor
Davy, he could never grow a penis.
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Twenty-One
I awoke in my bed in our apartment on Archana with Piddles

curled up beside me. So much for his personal accommodations.
I rolled over and discovered that Aranon was sitting on a large
pillow that he had pulled into my room and placed beside my bed.
His eyes opened the minute he heard me stir.
“Hello,” he said sleepily.
“I guess they still haven’t got you a bed yet.”
“Oh they brought that for me a while ago, but I wanted to be
with you when you woke up.”
Then the memories hit me like a fist in the stomach and I felt
sick. I rolled back over and pulled the covers over my head.
“We need to discuss what you remember. It is important that
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you allow your feelings out as soon as you can. I know it is

difficult, I was there with you, Christy, remember?”
“Then you know that just thinking about it makes me feel
sick!” I said angrily, unwilling to face him.
“It makes me feel sick too. It was a terrible thing to live
through, but you did. You survived it, thanks to Lynn. She has
shown you the truth about what she experienced, now you need
to accept that truth and validate it for yourself. You must validate
Lynn’s feelings and your feelings, for until you do, no one else
can.”
“There is nothing to validate,” I snapped, whishing that he
would just go away.
“Oh, but there is,” he replied, earnestly. “Lynn was
abandoned, and you were abandoned in your pain. She was
invalidated for having that pain, and in turn, so were you. We can’t
fault the others involved, for they were acting out of what they
thought to be appropriate at the time. That does not, in any way,
diminish the fact that what each of them did caused disintegration
in your life, and your emotional being through the pain, terror and
abandonment you experienced. You felt what you felt, and you
need to acknowledge that. It caused you emotional and psychic
damage, and you need to acknowledge that too, or healing
cannot commence.”
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“There can be no healing from that!” I cried, curling into a

ball under the covers.
“Yes,” he said, softly, “there can.”
“Go away!” I had finally had enough. “I don’t want to talk
about it!”
But it was too late, the memories came flooding back, and I
was caught up in their power. I started to scream to block the
flurry of pictures flashing in my mind. It didn’t help. My present
screams just blended with the ones in my memory, and I was
back being raped, again and again.
“Tell me what you are feeling,” he said, in a commanding
tone. “I can help you through it. I can help you to step away and
look at it from my vantage point.”
“It hurts!” I yelled, over and over, the pain exploding in my
genitals, as if it were happening right that moment.
“Yes, it hurts. It is unbearable! It is terrifying!”
“Yes!” I screamed. “Make it stop!”
“You can ease the pain, Christy. All you need to do is step
aside. Stand outside that eight-year-old body. Do it now, Christy!”
He commanded.
Maybe he helped me to do it, and maybe I was just in so
much pain I was willing to try anything. I forced myself to view the
experience from a position outside the body of that eight-year-old
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me. As I did, I was able to see both the boys, one holding me
down while the other raped me, and I could see me, my tangled
blond hair with the dirt and bits of debris in it, my contorted face,
my mouth open in a scream. I could see my naked body, covered
in dirt and semen. I saw the naked bodies of the two boys, their
anxious and excited faces and I felt sick and dirty. I wanted to
kick them off that little child! I wanted to grab the rake, hanging on
the wall of that dirty garage and fill their bodies full of bloody holes
with it!
“Stop it!” I screamed at them. “Stop it! She’s just a little kid!
You’re hurting her! You’re killing her!”
“Is this what she deserves for not listening to her brother?”
Asked Aranon, and I could hear the pain in his voice, the utter
sadness.
“No!” I cried. “She’s just a little girl! She just trusted the
wrong people! She just wanted to go on an adventure! She just
wanted to see something magical! She didn’t deserve to be
treated like that!”
“Tell her that!” He again used his commanding voice, the
one outside the involvement he experienced. “Tell her she doesn’t
deserve this. Tell her this is not her fault!”
I looked at that dirty, tear stained face and I felt helpless to
stop the terror, the pain. Finally I found my voice and I sobbed to
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her; “You don’t deserve this. It’s not your fault! You made a
mistake! It’s not your fault. You don’t deserve to be hurt like this!
I’m so sorry this happened! I wish I could make it stop. I wish I
could make it go away!”
“That’s my girl,” said Aranon, gently, soothingly, as the
pictures began to fade, and the pain began to diminish. “That’s
what you needed to hear. Now take her, dirty and bloody,
screaming and terrified, into your arms and hold her.”
I took the battered and dirty child into my arms and held her,
crying with her, kissing away her tears, rocking her. The boys
were gone and she and I were alone in that dirty garage, dust
motes swirling in the weak shafts of sunlight slanting through the
dirty windows and the chinks between the two-by-fours that made
up its walls.
“I love you,” I said. “It’s not your fault.” The pain subsided
even more. The fear subsided. And then finally, the guilt and the
shame subsided.
“Now,” said Aranon, I want the two of you to go to your
mother and tell her that this was not your fault, and that you didn’t
deserve the way that she treated you, or the way the doctor
treated you.”
I took Lynn’s hand and helped her to dress in her tattered
clothes and we went to the store that my parents owned, where
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my mother worked while my father built another business in the

graphic arts trade. We came in the back door where the office
was and where my mother sat when there were no customers.
We went right up to her and I stood facing her, holding Lynn’s
hand, her face dirty with mud from dust and tears, her eyes filled
with terror and shame.
“This is what your daughter looked like after those boys
finished with her. You didn’t see this because she went home
instead of coming to you, because she was afraid of your anger.
This is your little girl! She has been raped! She has been
terrorized by boys who had no thought for her feelings or for how
they might injure her. She is so scared of you that she refuses to
tell you what happened, but I’m not! I want you to know that no
child deserves this! All she is guilty of is making a mistake,
trusting the wrong people and wishing for magic in her life. She is
not an evil child! She needed you to comfort her, to protect her
from further pain, but you didn’t do that! You treated her like
garbage! You allowed that doctor to compound her trauma and
you made her feel that she deserved what she got because
wanted it, because she didn’t listen to her brother!
“That was cruel! It was abandonment! You left her with this
pain, invalidating it, compounding it by telling her she deserved it,
that she asked for it! You have no idea what that did to her! You
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can’t know because you didn’t see her after the event! She was
just a little girl, just an eight-year-old child, ignorant of life’s
treachery, ignorant of how beastly teenage boys can be! You
taught her to trust, and then you punished her for it! What you did
was wrong. How you treated her, blaming her for what happened,
telling her she deserved it was wrong. I hated you for that. I hated
you for a long time because of that. What you did utterly
destroyed me. I didn’t deserve that, no matter what you thought at
the time! Look at her! Look at the dirt and the tears on her face.
Look at the blood seeping from her secret place! Look in her eyes
and tell her that you think she deserved what she got! Look at her
Mother! Look at your terrified and violated little girl and tell her she
deserved what she got!”
I felt myself sobbing again, but this time it was as if puss was
seeping from an old wound that had refused to heal. I clung to
Lynn, hugging her, caressing her, rocking her in my arms, and I
sobbed for her pain, and I sobbed for her future, filled with
uncertainty and fear. I knew that the vital and alive Lynn that I had
experienced the other day as she walked the dog was dieing, and
was soon going to wrap herself in darkness, and lock herself in a
closet of her own making because she could not face the
uncertainties of life without love, without forgiveness, without the
nurturing that she so desperately needed. I knew that she, in the
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end, gave up on life, on love and on the validation of her

innocence. Childhood lost.
“Christy, talk to me.”
“My mother never knew the real truth about what happened,”
I said, sadly. I had gone home and bathed. I was terrified by the
thought of facing her because I hadn’t listened to my brother.”
“Go to your mother and tell her you forgive her.”
“Why?” I asked, confused by his request.
“Because she was acting out of her own fear, her own pain.”
“How can I forgive her for that? I don’t care what was going
on with her. Why should I forgive her?”
“Because she was scared, because she was terrified by the
thought that because she was unable to be available, because
she had to work to help support you and your family, she had to
leave you alone so much. Forgive her, because she worried every
day that you were vulnerable; because she worried every day that
she wasn’t a proper mother because she had to work. Imagine
yourself in her place. Imagine her pain at just knowing that her
perfect little girl had been violated because she had to work.
Maybe, at some point in her own life she had faced the same
experience. Maybe, at that time her mother had faulted her and
refused to validate her pain. Maybe she was only acting out of
what she knew, what she had been taught by her own terrifying
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childhood experiences.”
“Do you know for sure?” I asked, suddenly feeling sorry for
her.
“No, but statistics point to the possibility that this could be
the case. Sexual abuse ran rampant in your American society for
several centuries before and after your birth, generally
unreported, and rarely talked about. It is ultimately possible that
she was acting out of her own shame from a past abuse. Her
code of ethics, molded by her own childhood and maybe even her
religious upbringing dictated her responses, her unwillingness to
see you as a victim. She was a captive of her experiences, of her
past, of her own sense of shame. What happened to you surely
changed her, depleted her. She was probably devastated by what
happened to you, but her own past experiences, her own past
traumas wouldn’t allow her to articulate that fact. Believe me,
Christy, no matter what she said or how she acted at the time,
she was forever changed by that event.”
“How can you know for sure?” My feelings for her were in
limbo as I tried to understand how her response to my terrifying
experience could have been so cold, so accusatory.
“I know her through your genetics, through you sharing your
reality from that time, through the history of that time that I have
learned from others as well as from personally studying that time.”
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“She never told me. She never let on that she’d had a similar
experience.”
“How could she do so without showing you her own
mistakes, her own misguided choices? In order to keep herself
from being overcome by her own fear, her own self-doubt, she
probably struggled to appear faultless. She had to find fault with
you in order to be a good mother, as she perceived being a good
mother to be.”
“But I was so hurt, so scared.”
“She didn’t know that though. She didn’t know the extent of
your abuse. She didn’t know how those boys terrorized you. She
didn’t see you just after the event. You went home and bathed;
you changed clothes, afraid of your mother’s wrath. When you
finally told her, you probably didn’t give the details, because
remembering the event was too terrifying. Did you tell her of other
similar events you had experienced?” He asked.
“Yes,” I said, as the tears continued to stream from my eyes
and into the bedding. “Because she was being so calm and I felt I
could trust her.”
“She may have imagined that you went back for more
because you wanted it, because you craved it. When she took
you to the doctor, she may have seen you as already lost to
God’s grace and forgiveness. She may have seen you through
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the eyes of one who had been indoctrinated in religious idealism,

as so many were in that time. She was most probably
overwhelmed with the fear that she had failed as a mother.”
“How can I know that?” I asked, feeling drained and bereft of
hope.
“You can’t know for certain, unless of course you ask her. I
can say with some certainty that she was undone by your sexual
encounters, and felt in her heart that you had chosen those
experiences. She may have also felt guilty herself, because of
your choices, in that they proved that she had failed you as a
mother.”
“I didn’t choose to be sexually molested!” I shouted, from
under my covers.
“I know that. You know that. It’s the truth. Validate it, believe
it, and embrace it. You are blameless. You are sinless. You were
not at fault for the many sexual violations that you’ve experienced
in your life. It is common for an individual who has been sexually
abused in early childhood to be repeatedly abused in sequential
events, throughout childhood and even into adulthood, as the
result of provocative behaviors over which there appears to be
little control and about which the individual appears to be totally
unaware.
”You are not evil. You are not bad. You were the victim of
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circumstances beyond your control. You were only seeking

acceptance, you were only looking for love in the only way you
thought you deserved it. You accepted early in your life that you
were tainted, that you were bad. How else could a bad girl acquire
what she so desperately craved?”
“I’m not BAD!” I shouted, from beneath my covers.
“That is true. You are not!” Stated Aranon, emphatically.
“You are NOT bad! You have been frightened, hurt and
abandoned. You have been left to the only resources available to
you. You sought love, acceptance and validation in the only way
you knew how. The only way left open to you by the beliefs and
the invalidations that your life presented to you.
“Release the guilt. Release the blame. Know that you are not
your choices. Know that you are forgiven for those choices,
because you didn’t understand what you were doing and why.
Know that the Source of All Life loves you, regardless of your ill
informed choices. Know that the Source of All Life loves you
because you have experienced much and can be a beacon of
light for those like you who falter on the path of reconciliation.
Know that your healing is the door to healing for countless others.
Transmute your pain and fear into the desire to assist others in
their struggles toward understanding and forgiveness. Take this
undeserved label of sinfulness and translate it into hope for those
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who are still trapped within this prison of arbitrary fault finding due
to a religious distortion of life’s circumstances. Be a light in that
darkness you do not live in all by yourself.
“In order to do this, you must practice forgiveness and
understanding. You must be willing to understand and forgive
even though you didn’t experience that when you needed it the
most. Forgive you mother for she too was the captive of her own
dark experiences and the fear and the emotional disfigurement
that comes with that.”
“I want to.” I said.
“I give you my permission,” replied Aranon.
“I want to,” I whispered.
“I support you,” stated Aranon, succinctly.
“I’ll try,” I vowed.
“I will help you,” said Aranon.
A meal was delivered to us, and as we sat eating the exotic

fruits and vegetables, none of which looked familiar to me, when
Remmie arrived to help us plan our itinerary for the day.
“The Sensarians would like you to attend a meeting of the
High Council,” she said, looking at me and noticing my red,
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swollen eyes. “If you are feeling up to it,” she added.

“Is there some reason why they want me to attend?” I asked,
with a little reticence.
“To present you with honorary citizenship,” she replied,
matter of factly.
“We’ll be there,” said Aranon, giving me a sideways wink.
“An honor like that doesn’t come along every day.”
I was feeling less than worthy, considering the way that I
looked at the Siminian children on the road. I thought back to
what I had read about the Siminians and wondered if they felt my
thoughts, and were injured by them.
“Remmie,” I asked, feeling my heart starting to pound, “Can
you feel my thoughts, or my emotions?”
“I can,” she said, and her eyes filled with tears. “If I could
take away your pain, I would do it. No one deserves to feel so
vulnerable, so alone. I am hoping that while you are here, you will
come to terms with these feelings, and will discover the shining
light within you. You are the first one that I can say this of, but you
have taught me that my greatest depths of despair are now my
greatest sources of gratitude, and you have taught me that I have
yet to truly taste true love, or experience real joy. In others words,
as the result of my capacity to sense your thoughts and feelings, I
have experienced a widening of my consciousness. I hope to
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adequately express my gratitude before you must depart.”

I just sat there looking at her. I know that she experienced
the shock I felt at what she had just told me. I couldn’t see how I
was able to have a beneficial effect on the Siminians. With all of
these painful memories lurking just below my consciousness and
my tendency to become frightened and confused, it just seemed
that I would be making these people terribly uncomfortable.
She smiled at me, and then gave a little laugh. “We
recognize thoughts and feelings as being either Whole Self, my
self, other self or not self. The not self we tend to investigate, to
study, as this investigation and study generally promotes growth.
You have provided a unique opportunity for us to grow, so don’t
be surprised if many individuals follow you around today. The
word has gone out that you are a challenge, and we get so few of
those, that you will most certainly draw a crowd.”
“Are they going to try and tear my clothes off or put their
hands on me?” I asked feeling a bit apprehensive with this new bit
of information.
She once again she laughed, lightheartedly. “No, Christy,
these are students, and they will deport themselves with the
greatest decorum. But they will be close enough for you to see,
and I just wanted to ease your mind by letting you know that they
have come to experience you, not to consume you.”
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“Okay,” I said still not feeling at ease with it.

“Now, after the High Council’s presentation, you are invited
to participate in a Think-See in the Siminian Cultural Park. For
that we will be going to ground level.”
“Boy,” I said, “That’s gonna mean a lot of steps!”
“No, actually, we will be transported.”
“How?”
“The Sensarians will be teleporting us, and all who wish to
attend.”
“Wow! That will be a new experience! I like to experience
new things too, you know.” I grinned at her. “So, what exactly is a
Think-See?” I asked.
“It is a process of weaving an educational story through the
use of song and communal connection between the Sensarian,
Siminian and the Meathos,” she explained.
“Christy is quite a songstress,” interjected Aranon, smiling at
me. “Maybe you would like to give her an opportunity to share her
gift. You won’t be sorry, I promise.”
“Aranon, this is their ceremony!” I said feeling embarrassed.
“No,” said Remmie, “I think Aranon makes a valid point. How
better for us to experience you, but through your music! I think
that’s a wonderful idea!”
“Aranon, I don’t have my guitar and I have never sung in
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front of a crowd, I’d be terrified.”

“There won’t be any problem getting your guitar, and
everyone will love you. If you like I will sit beside you so that you
don’t feel alone while you sing.”
He seemed to be adamant about this. Once he decided I
was going to sing, I knew there was no getting out of it. My heart
pounded in my chest, and I felt dizzy. He reached over and
placed his hand on my arm.
“This will be healing for you, Christy, trust me. I know the
idea is pretty scary right now, but after you have participated in
the communal connection, listening to other gifted singers, you
may feel more willing to share. If not, no one will press you into
anything you really don’t want to do.” Meaning: I’m asking you to
do this and hope that you will comply. I shrugged, and then let it
drop. Who knows, maybe I would sing for the Think-See.
I decided to get cleaned up and put on the special clothes I
was given when we first arrived on Archana. I felt it was only
fitting, since I was going to be presented with an honorary
citizenship. I made only one personal concession, to wear my
own underwear.
The trip to the High Council meeting required that we again
travel the road high in the branches of the Archanian treetops. I
noticed that the Siminians did not surround us as they had on the
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trip to our apartment. As I looked around, I discovered that

numbers of the Siminians lined the sides of the roads, and a
substantial number followed us at a discrete distance, but for the
most part we were given a great deal of space. At one point a
Siminian toddler wandered up to us, his little thumb in his mouth. I
didn’t seem to be as disturbed by his nakedness as I had been in
the previous experience. I stopped and knelt down and touched
the child, his smooth skin soft and silky with a fine, almost
invisible dusting of fur. He reached out for me to pick him up, and
I looked at Remmie, wondering if it was the wrong thing to do.
“I think he would like you to hold him,” said Remmie, smiling.
I put my arms around him and immediately he threw his little
arms around my neck, and at that point I felt I had little choice, as
he didn’t seem inclined to let go. I placed one arm under his little
bottom and lifted him. He laid his head on my shoulder and
placed his thumb back in his mouth. He seemed quite relaxed in
my arms.
“Do you know where his mother is?” I asked, not wanting to
be accused of kidnapping.
“You can be sure that she is close,” she replied, smiling,
obviously unconcerned.
“Don’t you think we should locate her?” I was still feeling as
though I was treading a fine line of propriety by continuing to carry
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the child, who seemed to be very happy to stay where he was.

“It would be impossible for his mother to loose her child, as
they are inexorably linked psychically.” Remmie explained.
“Unless you feel extremely uncomfortable holding him, I would
suggest that we continue on. When the time comes for him to be
returned to his mother, she will be immediately available. You are
doing both he and his mother a great honor by allowing your
energies to mingle.”
I looked to Aranon, who was hanging onto Piddle’s leash. He
smiled and shrugged. “Is he too heavy?” He asked.
“No, I just don’t want to do anything inappropriate.” Actually,
a maternal instinct had awaked in me and I felt a sense of joy
welling up in me as the result of his sweet tiny body cuddled up
against me. I had dreamed of being a mother one day, and had
always adored small children. I was actually feeling honored by
this opportunity to nurture this trusting child.
We continued our trek to the High Council chambers, having
to climb a seemingly endless flight of steps up to another level. I
thought it would be a difficult climb with a baby in my arms, but he
was so at ease there that he had fallen asleep, so I was reluctant
to give him up. Strangely, he seemed to grow lighter, and the
climb seemed even easier than the climb down had the previous
day.
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When we reached the top of the stairs, I recognized where

we were. The spaceport sprawled to our right, as we turned into
the building where I had been tested the evening before. This
time, instead of going into the bathrooms, Remmie led us in
another direction, up another flight of stairs inside the Council
Center and finally into a huge hall filled with Siminians and
Sensarians. There were even a few angels, the form that the
Meathos seemed to enjoy taking when they weren’t in their
amorphous state.
Remmie led me up the center isle, and up some stairs
leading onto a raised area like a stage. She showed me to a seat,
behind a podium-like structure, where I sat, still holding the
sleeping child. I wondered why the mother had yet to claim her
baby. As I sat there, I shifted the child into my lap, laying his head
in the crook of my arm. He hardly stirred. I kept looking down at
him, feeling his gentle warmth and seeing nothing but innocence
in his sleeping, cherubic face.
Suddenly the room grew quite and a Sensarian walked
across the stage and stood before the podium. He spoke very
softly, but I heard every word. I can’t tell you exactly what he said,
because it was in a language I didn’t understand and yet, at the
time, I understood what he was saying.
He was telling those assembled in the room that this was a
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very special day. Only a few individuals from other worlds had
been given full citizenship on Archana, and then only after certain
tests were given and passed by the supplicants. Many individuals
had come before them, but only a few have had the spiritual
insight and poise to recognize that all of life is a spiritual quest,
and that the highest good is found in selflessness and love.
Therefore it was with greatest pleasure to welcome one such
individual, who was swiftly capturing the hearts and the vision of
Archana. To tell the truth, I wasn’t at all sure they meant me. I
certainly wasn’t all that worthy.
He then turned to me, and motioned me to join him beside
the podium. I was feeling embarrassed, and hot all over, realizing
that he had been talking about me. Still, I didn’t feel I had earned
this honor. I could not see how I could be considered selfless.
Finally, Remmie came to me and helped me up from my seat and
led me to the Sensarian being standing center stage. She left me
there, beside him, in his flowing gown and his shining
countenance, while I held a sleeping Siminian child in my arms.
“All who desire This One, this Child of Pain, this Child of
Light, this Child of God to be accepted as a True Archanian
signify by standing and giving the greeting reserved for the lost
and then found.”
It seemed to me that everyone in the room stood, and
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chanted words that translated themselves in my mind as

“Welcome Home, oh lost one, for now you are found and we
rejoice in this reunion!” Tears began to stream from my eyes, and
for the first time in my life I felt truly accepted. The great being
placed a medallion, strung upon a silver chord, around my neck
and then kissed me on the forehead. At this point the child awoke
and looked up at me, his large golden eyes meeting mine, as his
little hand clasped the medallion and he smiled. I laughed and
cried at the sweetness in his little face. I kissed him and this
brought a round of cheering.
Remmie returned to my side and then led me down the
steps and through the throng of people, as they cheered and
chanted, “Welcome home!”
As we made our way to the door, a Siminian asked
permission to approach me.
“Thank you for blessing my beloved child,” she said, in
words that didn’t match what I had heard. “Will you do me the
honor of bestowing a spiritual name on him?”
I looked at Remmie, and searched the crowd for Aranon, but
he was not in sight. “What should I do?” I asked Remmie, feeling
lost and helpless.
“It would be greatly appreciated if you would give the child a
spiritual name,” she replied, placing her hand on my shoulder and
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smiling.
Golly, I had no idea what a spiritual name might be. I thought
of the twelve disciples of Jesus, but none of the names seemed
appropriate. Then I thought about biblical names, but none of
those seemed to have the correct ring of spirituality to them, at
least not for this little guy. And then I thought about how the child
had affected me. How I had bonded with him on a deep level,
freeing myself from the fear of his nakedness as I finally
connected with the innocence in his sweet face. Finally I decided
on a name. There could be no other spiritual name for this child,
who had shown me unconditional love and acceptance, as he
walked right up to me on the road, undaunted by my emotions,
wanting me to pick him up, in spite of all of the intense feelings his
naked body invoked in me.
“Tell her his name is Courage,” I said, kissing the child and
handing him to his mother.
Remmie spoke to the woman, and her face lit up and tears
flowed from her eyes. She hugged and kissed her child, like any
mother, anywhere, and then bowed to me. I bowed back and she
smiled through another round of tears. Then, she was gone,
disappearing into the throng, with the special little boy-child that I
had held for a time, and had come to love. My arms felt empty,
and yet my heart felt full of love and a sense of belonging I had
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never felt before.

“Now we will go to the Think-See Gathering. Follow me.”
Remmie smiled and her eyes sparkled with excitement and joy as
she took my arm and we moved through the crowd to a platform
at the back of the great hall. Siminians were lining up, waiting
their turn, as those on the platform glowed brightly and then
disappeared. Remmie pushed us to the front of the line, but I
pulled away.
“We should wait our turn, like everyone else,” I said, turning
and going to the end of the line.
“Of course,” replied Remmie, smiling to herself, “I should
have known you would prefer that.”
“It’s not what I prefer, it’s what is fair.” I said, as we took our
place at the end of the line that extended well into the middle
great hall.
“You did a wonderful thing for that mother,” she said as we
stood in line.
“I’m not sure I understand,” I said.
“You not only gave her child your energy, and your love, but
you gave him a name to seal what he had acquired from you
within his soul. That was a truly selfless act.”
“I just held the little guy,” I stated. “He was charming and
warm, and he made me feel special, coming to me like that and
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then allowing me to hold him while he slept. That was special.

Especially since I know that he could feel my fear and the dark
memories churning in my mind. He had no fear, he trusted me, in
spite of the feelings he brought up in me. He was brave, and he
was comforting. He made me feel accepted, long before the
ceremony began. I hope I will get to see him again. I would like to
hold him one more time before I go.”
“I hope so too.”
“That would be wonderful!” I said. “Maybe someday I will
come back here to Archana, and I will see him, older, wiser, and I
can tell him of our adventure together.”
“Indeed you will”
“Well, maybe.”
“No doubt in my mind that you will.”
She spoke with a knowingness that I had to ponder. Maybe I
would be back. After all, I was a citizen now. I was accepted here.
I had become part of a race that was alien to my birth, and yet I
felt at home here. Some place, deep inside of me, I felt connected
with these people, with these wonderful, magical beings.
We had reached the platform and Remmie joined me in the
golden square, inlaid in the wood. I felt a tingling and a flurry of
energy swirled around us and then we were standing on real dirt,
on the forest floor.
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Twenty-Two
There were hundreds, maybe thousands of Siminians finding

places to seat themselves on wooden benches that fanned out in
a semicircle around a cliff wall in which was carved a grotto with
amazing acoustics. Aranon met us as we stepped from the
teleportation platform, holding Piddles in one arm and my guitar in
the other.
“What took you so long?” He asked, and then he and
Remmie traded what looked like a telepathic communication, and
he grinned at me. “That was a wonderful name to give to the
child.”
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“It was all I could think of,” I said feeling embarrassed for the
umpteenth time today. Oh well, I had been right about the
telepathic communication.
“I need Lynn to come forward and walk the dog before the
ceremony begins,” he said. Then he looked straight into my eyes
and he smiled at me again. “I’m proud of the work that you are
doing. I am even prouder of the work that you and Lynn are doing
together. Whether you decide to sing tonight or not, I’ll still be
proud of you.”
I was totally taken off guard by that, but then I had been
taken off guard several times today. I was on unfamiliar ground. It
felt wonderful to not only be accepted, but to be loved as well.
This was the real deal, not an imitation or a game being played to
manipulate. Up until this point, I thought that love was a myth we
tell each other in the hope that this time it would be real. But now
it was happening and I felt it, like a gentle rain that was nurturing
my soul and cleansing away all the darkness. This was a healing
love, a love that could not be bartered or contrived.
“I’m ready,” I stated, awaiting Aranon’s call for Lynn.
“Lynn,” he called. “Come here, Lynn.”
I didn’t feel myself slide backwards, like viewing life through
a television screen instead of your own eyes. I did see Lynn look
up at him and gave him an impish grin, as though I was standing
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beside myself.
“Ah, there you are! Aranon said, grinning back at her “we are
going to take Piddles for a really quick walk, right over here
behind us. I’ll go with you.” He handed her the leash and handed
Remmie my guitar as well as another communication.
“Come with me,” said Remmie, “I will show you to your seat.”
“Right next to Aranon,” I said. “He promised.”
“Of course,” she replied laughing, “everything is arranged.”
“Okay,” I said, following her down the path between the
benches. Suddenly, I began to realize that I was not going with
Lynn and my body, but rather was following Remmie down the
path! How was I doing this? Obviously Remmie could see me. Am
I talking telepathically with her? Is she listening to my thoughts
right now? Why am I not hearing Lynn’s thoughts?
“Remmie,” I said, and it felt like I was talking, but how could I
be without a body? I stopped still and looked down at myself and
recognized that I did have a body! Was it an illusion? I turned and
watched Aranon and Lynn walking toward the lower shrubs
beneath the giant trees. She was an eight-year-old, dressed just
as I had seen her when we walked the dog on that amazing
planet, just before we came to Archana. She was skipping beside
Aranon, holding the dog leash, Piddles tugging at its end.
“It’s all right, Christy, it is the gift of the communion.”
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Obviously, she could hear my thoughts. “This is part of the Think-

See. When we are gathered together like this, we have the
capacity to instruct the lower elementals. What happens during
these events is quite real, and although some of it is transient,
some remains.”
“You mean that because of this communion thing Lynn and I
can have separate bodies? Real bodies?” I was not certain
whether to be terrified or elated.
“Yes,” she said, giggling again, “isn’t it wonderful?”
“I d-don’t, don’t know,” I replied stuttering. “I was just getting
used to her being in here with me. I think I need her in here with
me.”
“Don’t worry, if that is the case, it will be transient, it won’t
last. But just for tonight, you can see her as she is, and she can
see you as you are, and you can both enjoy the Think-See from
your own vantage points. When it is over, and you return to your
quarters, you will be as you were, if that is your desire.”
“But what if she doesn’t desire to be one with me again? I
mean she has spent the last fifteen years in a closet for gosh
sakes! In her mind she’s in heaven. What if she wants to stay?”
“Trust the flow. Aranon is a master facilitator. He knows how
to help you help yourselves. He has only your best interests at
heart.” With that she turned and started down the isle again.
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I followed her past ranks and ranks of benches, and then up

into the grotto, which was more like a giant stage. She came to
the four seats that had been assigned to us. Four seats, of
course! Lynn would be joining us.
“I will need this seat,” I said, indicating the one that was on
the outside. “I have to have room to play my guitar.”
“This will be such a treat!” Said Remmie, her eyes dancing
above a wistful smile. “I have never had the pleasure of hearing
this instrument played.” Her face had smooth skin, so much like a
human face. She had bows of every color tied all over her fur
instead of the robe she wore when I first met her. I could see the
nipples of her breasts protruding from her fur. I momentarily felt
embarrassed, and then remembered what Aranon had said about
their cultural development being totally different from mine.
“Remmie,” I asked, struggling with my feelings, “do you have
crime in your society?”
“There will always be those who, for whatever reason, turn
away form the Source Of All Being and seek to pleasure
themselves at the expense of others. We recognize this as an
illness and deal with it accordingly.”
“Are there those who take sexual advantage of others?”
“I am aware of a couple of cases,” she replied, her smile
fading. “It is difficult to physically harm another when you
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experience their pain as though it were your own. There has to be

major psychophysical damage for such a thing to occur.
Nevertheless, even enlightened, psychically communal societies
encounter distortions in consciousness, due to the inappropriate
choices of individuals, or accidents that damage the physical
vehicle in such a way as to cause a rift between the physical and
the psychic. It is rare, but it does happen, yes.”
“Are you ever afraid that it will happen to you?” I asked,
seeing the pain in her face.
“It has happened to me,” she said matter-of-factly. “That’s
why I was assigned as your guide and companion while you are
here. I can relate to your fears, because I, at one time,
experienced them as well.”
This was a shocking revelation. I was in awe of her poise
and her capacity to interact with me at all, in view of this
knowledge, in view of her natural psychic gifts. How was she able
to deal with it?
“I’m sorry, Remmie, I didn’t know.” I felt like crying. I found it
hard to believe that anyone could have harmed this vibrant,
intelligent woman, who was so full of humor and delight.
“It was a long time ago,” she said, as sadness swept across
her face. “It happened while I visited an alien planet with my
parents. My father was an off-world diplomat. I was only a child
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when it happened. The individual who molested me was not able

to connect with my consciousness, and so was unaffected by my
pain. It took me a while in the care of our mutual friend, Aranon,
before I was able to move beyond the event. He specializes in
this, you know.” Then she smiled, and reached out gently, to wipe
a tear from my cheek. “If I can get through it, you can.”
I sat down on my seat, a rock stool, carved out of the grotto.
My heart was filled with compassion for Remmie, a child from an
enlightened society, who found herself in the basest of all
experiences. “I hope one day you can tell me about it,” I said.
“And that I can tell you of my experiences. Thank you for the
hope. I needed that.” And with that my eyes filled with tears, and I
felt a deep sadness rush through me, like a cold wind.
Suddenly, Aranon was there with Lynn, who’s face beamed
with joy. Piddles jumped up into my lap and began licking the
tears from my face as Lynn shrieked with laughter. I smiled at her.
“Christy, this is Lynn, Lynn, this is Christy.” Aranon
introduced us as he reached out and placed his hand on my
shoulder. “Tonight is a very special night, where for just a little
while, you can talk like everyone else, and get to know each other
in a way not possible at any other time. Just remember, just as
Cinderella had to get back to her coach before the clock struck
midnight, you will have to go back to sharing the same body once
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we enter the teleportation field. Okay? ” He gave Lynn a

searching look.
Lynn nodded enthusiastically, and then grinned at me.
“You’re pretty,” she said, her eyes filled with awe.
“You are beautiful!” I said, as tears once again slipped from
my eyes. I handed Piddles to Remmie and took Lynn into my
arms, hugging her close to me. I could feel the beat of her heart
against my chest, her warm breath on my neck, and smell the
freshness of her skin. Her hair felt like silk on my cheek, and her
warm, reciprocal hug was enough to make my heart melt. Then
she started to cry, and I was undone. “It’s all right,” I said, rocking
her. Feeling her substance, her unique personal energy was both
exhilarating and heart breaking. “I love you, Little One. I will
always love you. You are a very special part of me, and I thank
God for you. I will never leave you, and will never hurt you. You
are my past, and I suspect you are my future too.”
She brushed her tears aside, and looked up at me, with her
trusting face and her open heart and asked,” Will you be my
mommy?”
“Yes,” I replied, my heart bursting with love for her. “I will be
your mommy forever!”
Suddenly a quiet descended over the huge crowd and we all
looked up as a Siminian adult strode to the center of the stage
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and said a prayer. I couldn’t understand the language, but that

was a small thing here, as pictures formed in my mind of happy
Siminians laying their treasures of gratitude at the feet of a
shining being with no form, and yet radiating light and love upon
all who approached. Through this prayer I was taken to a garden,
filled with delights, and with other individuals of many races who,
with open arms accepted one another, unconditionally. Then a
rainbow of light and color exploded over the assembled crowd,
and everyone began cheering.
Finally, the individual who delivered the prayer introduced a
Siminian who walked out to the center of the stage and sat on a
rock stool and began to sing. At first I was startled by the clarity of
the voice. I could not see if the individual was male or female.
Nevertheless, the voice was crystal clear, maybe tenor, maybe
alto.
As the Siminian sang, pictures formed in my mind of the
closeness of family, the delight of children, and dreams of love
and a union beyond my understanding. To be sure, this song had
incredibly tactile sexual overtones, which titillated the senses and
aroused feelings in me that I had never felt. The scenes built and
built upon the senses, taking me through experiences I had never
had, of sexual connectedness, of sexual pleasures I had never
experienced before and yet was experiencing now. I wondered
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how this was affecting Lynn. I looked at her and she was just
sitting quietly, smiling and petting Piddles.
The individual then sang of a depth of love and caring that
unfolded like a fairy tale and culminated in the birth of a child,
who’s tiny face looked up at me and smiled sweetly and then
suckled upon my breast. The sensations I felt and the pictures
that I saw defy description, and yet touched me in a way that I
have never been touched, and allowed me to feel things that I had
never felt, and yet it all felt right, good, and even holy. When the
song was finished I was in tears, filled with a sense of completion
that I had never experienced in my life, and yet it felt normal,
appropriate and godly. As the singer exited the stage, I was
crying, gasping for air, wishing it could have continued, wishing
that it had never ended. Again, cheers rose from the crowd and I
was abruptly brought back to the moment.
Remmie leaned over Aranon’s legs and asked me if I was
willing to sing. I sat there feeling inadequate, like a child at a
grownups meeting. She motioned that I needed to let her know,
now! I nodded, not really in touch with what I was doing. She rose
and went to the center of the stage and introduced me to the
cheers of the crowd, not even knowing if I could sing! I turned to
Aranon, looking for some sort of sign. He smiled and nodded, and
I pulled my guitar from it’s case and began to strum, feeling
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disconnected from my being, yet feeling a song welling up inside

me. Finally, I let it out.
I know I cannot change the past, the anger, fear and

sorrow
But I know that I can change today, and build a new
tomorrow
Still, if I dwell upon the past, I’ll remain within its spell
And if I dwell upon my pain, I never can be well
I cannot change what others do, I can only let them be

I cannot put an end to hate until it’s gone in me
But I can bring joy into life, by what I do and say
And I can carry peace and love, within my heart each
day
I was aware of the fact that I was building pictures in my

mind of what I had experienced in my most recent memory, but I
was unaware that I was broadcasting those pictures to all who
were listening. I heard gasps, and moans from the crowd, and
then sighs of release as I pictured the love and the peace I felt
when I hugged my inner child, as I told Lynn that I would never
leave her, that I loved her.
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I cannot put an end to pain by saying it’s not there

I cannot put an end to fear, by saying I don’t care
But I can focus on the truth that I know within my mind
And as I heal myself with this, I’ll be healing all
Mankind.
As I sang this stanza I pictured my pain, and the desperation

that it entailed, and sobs erupted from the crowd. I Pictured my
fear, in the face of those boys who hurt me, who used me,
laughing, exhilarated by their conquest of my small naked body,
and the fear that I felt at seeing the sweet Siminian children in
their nakedness, and the crowd gasped, and cried out. Then, as I
pictured the next two lines, I pictured Lynn, the smiling happy
child, the child of wonder and healing. Then, I pictured all of the
people of Earth, deep within, registering my healing, my hope,
and deciding to take the next step toward their own healing. The
crowed went “ah” as one.
I know that I can change my life, and love and peace

can find
For I have found the secret now, I must simply change
my mind
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It’s all become quite clear to me, in all that I’ve been
through
That what I think must surely be, most certainly comes
true.
In this stanza I pictured my life changing, as the result of my

interactions with Aranon on Anchor, on Archana with the
Siminians, the Sensarians, and the Meathos. I pictured the shifts
in my thinking as the result of these interactions, recognizing that
what I had believed in the past had colored my perceptions of life,
and had actually generated the experiences that I was fearful of.
Another deep sigh escaped from the crowd.
And so I must release the past, and then focus in the

now
And though it may be difficult, I know that I know how
To utilize this power in me, this power within my mind
To recognize the Truth in me, and in it freedom find.
I saw myself letting go of what had happened and then

finding myself in Aranon’s loving care, seeing what could be,
seeing the past as a process of becoming willing for change.
Then I saw myself looking into Lynn’s eyes and seeing the hope
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and the love that had eluded me all of my life and seeing that as
the power to push me forward toward my goal of healing, not only
for myself, but for all Humanity, the people of my planet. Then I
sealed the song with a reiteration of my final goal.
I recognize this power in me, this power within my mind

To utilize the truth in me, and in it freedom find!
I recounted, in my mind, the special event of being able to

hold that child, The child from within me, made flesh by this
ceremony, that child who had been abused and injured, and then
expressed the feelings that I had felt when I promised her that I
would be her mother, and that I would love her always.
The crowed again cried out and then sobbed, as one, feeling
my joy, feeling the promise of the future, knowing that I had
reconciled my past and set my face toward a future filled with
opportunity and joy. As I became silent, the crowd became silent,
maybe thinking through this unusual and alien experience. Then,
they all stood up, cheering wildly and demanding another song!
I knew what they were crying out for, but felt lost, and
confused and unable to think. Aranon placed his hand on my
shoulder, and said softly into my ear, “Whatever you decide is
okay. You can open yourself to another song, which you know will
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come if you open to it, or you can stand and bow and sit right
back down. They will accept whatever you choose.”
I sat there for a moment, feeling overwhelmed. I could feel
the love and the support from the crowd of Siminians, and I could
feel the love and support of Aranon. For a few moments I was
undecided. Then, words began to form in my mind and I was
under their spell. I had no choice I had to share them. I looked at
Aranon, and smiled, and then began to play a chord sequence.
Suddenly, I burst forth in song, and surprised even me!
Love is the force that binds all things together

Only through love things appear as they are
Love is the force that binds now with forever
Weather you’re a person or a bright shining star
Only love, love makes things real

Only love has the power to heal
And only through love are we truly alive
Only love, only love will survive
And Love is a magnet that draws things together

Love is the force that has drawn you to me
And it’s binding our brilliance as a beacon to others
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Who long for its light and in love to be free

Love is the force that can heal all divisions

And bring Mankind together as one race on Earth
But until we can know love, we’ll never quite show love
Nor understand life and its meaning and worth

When I had finished the song, which was as new to me as it

was to the audience, I felt rejuvenated in my resolve to see my
time with Aranon through to it’s conclusion, regardless of what
that entailed in the way of pain and fear. I was ready for change; I
was ready to see things in a new light, with a new perspective. I
was ready for healing; I was ready for love to enter my life, no
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mater what the cost.
For a moment all was silent, and then a cheer arose from the
multitude that stirred my heart to a new resolve. The crowd arose
and stood, waving their arms and cheering loudly. I stood, bowed
as best I could while I cried, sobbing with the power of their
acceptance of me, with the love that I felt from them. I bowed
again and then Remmie stood, said a few words and then we
reseated ourselves with my new family of Lynn, my beloved child
from within, Piddles, Aranon, Remmie, and all of Archana.
The crowed continued to yell and cheer, and finally another

performer walked onto the stage. All became quiet in advent of
the new performer’s contribution. The hush that swept across the
crowd was almost tactile. I innately knew we awaited a performer
that was well known to the crowd, and a setter of trends in
thought and living.
For a moment he turned to me, and I knew he was male. His

gaze communicated volumes, some of which I was able to access
then, and some I would not be able to understand until later.
Then, he smiled, almost like a candidate getting ready to concede
to a lost race.
He stood for a moment, in silence, collecting his thoughts,

and then began his song, deeply baritone and filled with feeling.
He sang of a lost love, and of a woman who had succumbed to a
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personal dissolution at the peek of her productivity. He spoke of

his love for her and of his admiration of her resolve, in the face of
her disability. He spoke of his resolve to remain with her, in spite
of what others said, in spite of what the knowers had
prognosticated. He spoke of how his love had enveloped her,
protected her from the materializations that the knowers believed
they saw, and how, through his love, he led her to an
understanding that changed her, that healed her, and that allowed
their love to triumph over all prognostications, all expectations,
and into a communion that surpassed description.
He then sang of the day she told him that she was with child,
and the joy that they shared preparing for that child’s birth. Then
he sang of her physical dissolution, her departure from the
physical as the result of complications during her pregnancy. Yet
his love had progressed beyond that dissolution, and had allowed
him to remain connected to her, as he slipped from the tenuous
bonds of the physical and joined her in the spirit. Then he sang of
their reincarnation into strong and beautiful bodies, surpassing all
of their dreams, although they still had to find one another. Then
finally he sang of his reunification with her, her consciousness
more enlightened, her love for him strengthened by his desire to
find her, to redeem her as his one true love. In the end, they both
were reunited, and strengthened by one another’s love, and she
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bore a special child, to whom a divine being, in a moment of

compassion, gave the spiritual name, Courage.
I was shocked by this and felt feint. I know that the name
‘Courage’ was the name I had given to the little child I had held.
Still, I could never have imagined that the child I had held, that I
had arbitrarily named, was the one of whom this singer sang. Yet
I knew it were true, and my heart swelled with joy. I had not just
touched a life; I had validated the quest of this particular couple
that had both refused to give up on true love. Suddenly, I was
aware of a circle becoming complete, a circle I had played a part
in. I felt that my life had finally made a difference. I felt that I had
finally done something that would make a difference in other lives,
in the lives of this fabulous male singer and his family that he felt
the need to immortalize in song. I was filled with great joy and
great humility.
The crowd roared with cheers, after a few moments to

process the events they had experienced, but the singer pointed
to me, and motioned for me to join him. I looked at Aranon, and
he smiled and motioned for me to join the singer at center stage. I
reluctantly got up, and joined him, bowing to the cheering crowd
with him, feeling both overwhelmed and grateful for this amazing
experience.
Finally, Remmie came and led me back to my seat beside
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Aranon, and Lynn who was beaming with pride. I put my guitar
back in its case, as the crowd continued to cheer. And the male
singer bowed once more and then came to me and embraced me.
“Thank you for what you did for my son,” he said. “You are
truly a great being. I wish for you release, and healing, for this is
what you gave to me and my family.”
“Thank you,” I said, feeling entirely unworthy. I bowed to him,

and he smiled and bowed back.
Then, Aranon took me in his arms and held me close. “I am

so proud of you,” he said, softly, for only me to hear. “What you’ve
done here is beyond any imaginings I held, beyond anything I had
hoped for you. You have brought a new vitality to this society, and
a new hope for your own healing. If there ever was any doubt that
you are the High Master’s child, there is no more. It is an honor to
be the one who introduced you to this society, to your new family,
who loves you beyond whatever you could conceive. Blessed be
the life that weaves it’s healing magic, touching all who are willing
persevere through the darkness, and yet keep their hope
anchored in the light.”
I looked up at him, overwhelmed by his words, and yet not

understanding that they were for me. I was grateful that I had
been given the opportunity to play a part in this wondrous event. I
was grateful that Aranon brought me here, to my new home, to
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my new family. As soon as I could I hugged Remmie,

acknowledging her part in my acceptance and the opportunity to
share myself with these wonderful people.
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Twenty-Three
As promised, when we were teleported from the

amphitheater, only three of us arrived at the other end, which was
back in our apartment. I’m not sure how they did that, but I
suppose if they could teleport us from the council chamber to the
ground, they could probably teleport us to our quarters. Food was
waiting for us when we arrived. We were being very well cared
for.
I took a piece of fruit and sat down on a pillow, still shaking

with the adrenalin produced by my participation in the Think-See.
I bit into the piece of fruit, and Lynn said, ‘Ummmmm’. I smiled to
myself, feeling her there and realizing that she could now share
tastes with me. “Lynn is enjoying this fruit as much as I am,” I said
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to whomever was listening.
“Wonderful!” Said Aranon, coming out of my bedroom where

he had put the guitar. “It appears that you and she are almost fully
co-conscious.”
“I take it that’s a good thing.”
“Very good. You are in for an adventure, for you will get the
chance to see the world through the eyes of a child. Of course,
there are more of you in there, and your meetings may be painful,
for when you meet you will also have to look at the incident that
generated the split that created them. But, I promise you that for
every horror you will have to face, you will also discover great
joy.” Aranon grabbed a piece of fruit and sat down on the large
cushion beside me, his knees poking up like grasshopper legs.
“Thank you for bringing me here,” I said. “I have never felt so

loved, so cared about by so many. I have decided to stay with you
until we complete this.”
Aranon put his arm around me and pulled me into a gentle

hug. I suppose he had to practice that, being so big and so
strong. “I am very glad to hear that,” he said, and then kissed the
top of my head. “I was hoping you would find it in you to walk
through this with me. You have a very great potential for assisting
others on a level that they rarely get touched. As you release the
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past, the energy that has been tied up in it will return to you, and
you will find abilities within you that you don’t yet know about.”
“I guess that part is already happening.” I smiled up at him

and I could feel that it was Lynn’s smile.
“Yes,” he said chuckling at Lynn’s impish grin, “I think you

are right about that.”
Finally, I remembered that Remmie was still there, sitting

quietly on the other large cushion. “So, what is our itinerary for
tomorrow?” I asked her.
“That depends,” she replied. “What would you like to see?”
“Do you have schools? I would love to see how your

education system works.”
“We don’t have schools in the same way that your culture
has schools. Our children are not instructed in classes, they are
assigned a learning guide, and directed toward those things that
are of interest to them.”
“But how do they learn to read and write?” I asked. “How do

they learn to do mathematics?”
“Their learning guide directs them toward opportunities to

learn those things.”
“But how do they learn without instruction?”
“Okay,” she said, “let’s say a child is interested in the stars.

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The child is then directed to the tablets that describe them. If the
child has not yet learned to read, his curiosity will direct him to ask
the questions, which will provide an opportunity for the guide to
share what he or she knows about language and the art of
communication. Curiosity is a great incentive for discovery.”
“So, what about socialization?” I asked.
“There are endless opportunities for that. Children are

included in all social functions and are encouraged to develop
their own functions according to their interests.”
“But kids tend to want to do only what is fun, and to avoid

things that are boring and repetitious. How do you get them to
learn anything that way?”
“By encouraging them to have fun and by our learning

guides finding ways through which to turn play into opportunities
for discovery.”
“I don’t think that would work on my planet. On my planet, if

you let kids do whatever they like, they form gangs and loot and
pillage.”
“I never said we allow our children to do whatever they like.

There is no doubt about the fact that children need guidance and
direction. Our children are never left without adult supervision,
either by parents or by learning guides and nurses. Nevertheless,
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we respect our children and allow them as many opportunities for

self-expression as possible. In return, they are respectful of adults
and of one another; and because it is a basic component of a
child’s makeup to strive to please those who love them, we give
them ample amounts of love as well.”
“Well I am sure it works really good for your society. Golly, I

wish I had grown up here, I am sure much of my life would have
been very different. Probably better. So, I guess visiting schools is
out because you don’t have any. “
“Would you like to go visit the Mother Pool, where the most
ancient aspect of the Meathos resides?”
“That would be interesting,” I said, wondering if the Ancient

Meathos would know me.
“Good,” she said, nodding. “I will pick you up first thing in the
morning.” She began to rise, as if to leave and Aranon sent her a
telepathic communication. Her facial expression shifted and she
sat back down. “Aranon has suggested that we enter the Meathos
together and share the experiences that we have in common. It
will be healing for both of us.”
“You mean like go back to that dirty garage and go through

that again?” I asked, giving Aranon a distasteful look.
“The fastest way to obtain healing is to share your
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experience with others who have had similar experiences,” he

replied, his face compassionate. “I was thinking that sharing
within the Meathos might make this easier as it is a supportive
environment. It will also give you an opportunity to experience the
most ancient aspects of the Meathos.”
“I thought all the Meathos is one being, even when it is apart

from the rest.”
“Essentially, it is, and yet there are aspects of the Meathos

within the Mother Pool, just like there are aspects of your own
consciousness which you have not met yet.” He gave me an
indulgent smile. “Of course, you don’t have to do this. It was just a
suggestion.”
“I think I would rather just talk to Remmie about it. In the

Meathos everything is just too real; you know what I mean? I
need some time to mend inside before I do that again.”
“I think that’s a great idea, if Remmie is willing.”
“Yes, of course,” she said. I could see that she was also
relieved.
“I would also like permission to be present, as an alternate

perspective and as a facilitator.”
“Of course,” replied Remmie, again looking relieved.
“Sure.”
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“Okay, then,” he said, “we’ll see you in the morning,

Remmie.”
Lynn and Aranon walked Piddles, while I tagged along just

behind Lynn’s eyes. We walked along a pathway, just bedside our
apartment, a small branch for these behemoth trees, more like an
alleyway than a road. After that, things became somewhat of a
blur.
The next morning, after a breakfast of more fruit, some

interesting bread, and something that looked like eggs but didn’t
taste like them, Remmie came to take us to the Mother Pool. We
had to go to the surface and as luck would have it the Sensarians
had put a teleport station not too distant from our apartment. As
we walked along the road, there were plenty of Siminians
following at a safe distance. When we reached the teleport
station, there was a line waiting to use the service.
“Are all of these people going to the Mother Pool?” I asked.
“Actually, you can go just about anyplace from this station,”

replied Remmie, smiling. “The trick is in knowing where you are
going. If you can picture it, you go there. If you have never been
there, then you need a guide like me to take you.”
“So if I got on that square and pictured my home, on Earth,

would I go there?”
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Kerry Dennis
“Well, possibly, if you knew the code to give to the Sensarian

who operates the gate.”
“What code? I thought this was all just telepathic stuff.”
“We have safeguards, that keep small children and

unauthorized individuals from using the stations,” she explained.
“But now I am an Archanian. I should be authorized, don’t

you think?”
“I would encourage you not to try,” said Remmie, frowning.

“Even if you were allowed to use the gate, your capacity for
telepathic communication is not developed enough for you to be
able to communicate the exact coordinates.”
“I don’t even know the exact coordinates,” I said. “I guess I

was just being silly. Forgive me, I didn’t mean to imply that I would
try such a thing.” Although I was really hoping that I could just
stand on that square and think of home and click my heals
together and just be there. I wondered if my family missed me.
“Aranon,” I asked, “is there some way that I can get a

message to my family to let them know I am all right?”
“Not to worry,” he replied, smiling. “When we send you back,

we will be sending you back to the same moment you left. They
will never have had a chance to be concerned.”
“So, in effect, I am already home right now, huh?”
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“That depends on which now you are referring to.”
“You know, thirteen or fourteen days from the day I left.”
“Probably.”
That caused me take pause. Probably wasn’t yes. “Is there a

possibility that I don’t get back home?”
“Life is filled with all kinds of possibilities,” he grinned. “All we

have is now. Everything to come is based upon the choices that
we make in the now. You hold the power of your future in your
own hands and heart. Look, we are almost at the gate.”
We stood at the edge of the platform while three Siminians

took their place on the golden square and then vanished. Aranon
took my hand and led me to the square while Remmie
communicated with the Sensarian who was seated in a throne-
like seat beside the platform. Then she joined us, taking my other
hand. Suddenly we were standing on a platform in the middle of
what looked like an ancient Grecian structure. There were
columned, covered walkways surrounded with small trees and
shrubs, some blooming with flowers. The walkways were set in an
octagon, in the center of which was a pool. There were stone
benches set round stone tables scattered around the walkway’s
edges. Toward the center, steps led down to a smaller, uncovered
walkway around the pool.
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Kerry Dennis
“It looks like a Grecian Temple,” I observed, feeling as

though I was in a very sacred place.
“I suppose it is a temple.” Remmie led us down the steps to

the walkway that surrounded the pool. Now I could see that there
were steps, going into the pool, and watched as a Siminian
descended into the Meathos. “Our people have come here at
regular intervals for as long as our race has records. The Meathos
is our mother and the Sensarians our father. Mother teaches us to
feel and to utilize feelings as the energy for growth and change.
Mother nurtures us, even heals us when The Source Of All Being
allows, or sends us to Father, who can see our truth. Father
teaches us of the outer world, of beauty and differentiation, of
substance and form. The Sensarians are our learning guides.
Sensarians are also in need of Mother, and they visit as often as
we, and have done so since before we climbed out of our trees.
So the surroundings, the structures are compliments of Sensarian
builders. They were here when we first discovered the ground,
and the Meathos.”
I didn’t quite no what to say. I nodded, and continued to

cogitate on the way in which these three societies interacted. “Is
the Meathos the oldest, as far as conscious beings on this
planet?” I asked finally, as Remmie indicated a bench where we
could all sit down on.
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“It is a subject for much debate as to who evolved first. One

thing is for sure, and that is that the Siminians are the youngest.”
“So, in the debate,” asked Aranon, “where do you stand?”
“Well, an archaeological team is presently investigating digs

that suggest that there was a previous society, highly
mechanized, that predates our present races. At the time of that
society, there were no giant trees, but there were Sensarian-like
beings. The present day Sensarians would like us to abandon our
efforts, quoting ancient writings that have also been uncovered,
that speak of a time of horror and destruction. They feel that if we
continue with our probing, we will unleash chaos on our world. I
think that if we don’t keep probing, we will never understand what
drove them to destruction, and thus never learn how to avoid it.
We have found evidence that the Meathos was a creation of that
society and that it’s creation was not planned, but happened as
the result of a period during which pollutants were released into
the air and water unmonitored. The Meathos was generated as
the result of a freak evolutionary spurt following that period. It was
also during that time that the giant trees that can live on anything
began to grow.”
“Yep, on our planet they have smog. Smog is the result of

polluted air. They have also been polluting the water, but there
are lots of people demonstrating and writing letters to make the
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Kerry Dennis
Government force industries not to do this. I think it will happen,

and I think they will find ways to clean up the air, too.”
“All things happen for a purpose,” she said, grabbing my

hand. “If it had not been for this previous society, we would not
have the Meathos, nor would we have the evolved race of
Sensarians to guide us. What happened was a terrible thing, and
yet a wonderful thing! The more I reach out, the more I
investigate, the more I realize that all things, bad and good, work
together to fulfill the Plan of The Source Of All Being. We can
struggle against growth, we can struggle against the past, but
until we investigate it, until we understand it, we cannot safely
move on to our next evolutionary step. “I am a product of all that
has come before me. How can I know my true potential if I am
unable to look at, to connect with and to understand the past that
created me?”
“Well, you think you got problems, I didn’t even know there
was such a thing as past lives until I got to Anchor and went into
the Meathos. I mean almost nobody believes they have lived
before on my world.” Aranon gave me a look, and I amended my
statement. “Well, not in the US anyway. Especially not my family,
I mean, what a shock!”
“Yes, I guess that would be a shock,” she said, patting the

hand she held with her other. “I guess you are now aware that
401
you are much more than you thought you were.”
“I guess,” I said, still not intellectually able to connect with

the idea.
“Would you like to go into the Meathos with me?” She asked,
smiling softly.
“I don’t wan’a connect with that experience,” I said, wary.
“Why don’t you let the Meathos decide the experience?”
I tensed up and withdrew my hand from hers. I felt as though

I was being forced. I knew that whatever is on my mind, that is
where I will go, and the incident with Lynn was too close to the
surface, and too raw. I didn’t want to be forced to look at that
again just yet. I looked at Aranon, pleadingly.
“Why don’t you go in alone, Christy. You can tell the

Meathos that you don’t want to revisit that experience. It will honor
your wishes.” He reached out and patted me on the shoulder.
“You won’t be sorry, I promise. Go touch the Ancients. They are
gentle and wise.”
I looked at the pool and then at Remmie, who wore a

compassionate smile but said nothing. I couldn’t understand how,
if all the Meathos was one, this pool could be any more special
than the rest. Finally, I made my decision. The only way I would
know is if I went in and felt the Meathos presence. I got up and
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Kerry Dennis
started down the stairs into the Meathos.
Almost immediately after submerging myself in the pool,

Meestra appeared to me, her face wreathed in joy. “Welcome to
my home, Christy. This is where I have taken you in the times of
your great distress.”
I looked around me and saw the beautiful angelic city as it

had appeared to me in those times. I knew this was merely
illusion, and yet there was an unexplained sense deep within me
that told me that it was also a reality, but on another level.
“So, is the Meathos one being or many?” I asked.
“Both,” she said, smiling and taking me in her arms. “The

thing that frightens so many about attaining to a truly unified
consciousness, which exists as fully in the part as it does in the
whole, is a loss of individualism, a loss of individual identity. This
is not the case with Meathos. Every soul that, due to
circumstances, became locked within this substance has retained
their individual identity, their own history, and their own
perspective within The One Life. The sum of the many is greater
than the whole, and this substance, Our Substance, is simply our
connection to your reality. Our substance is increased by our
loving interactions with one another and with those of other races
and realities. Our substance is the means through which you and
I can interact, but our reality is not in substance, but rather in the
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etheric. Through the etheric, we can go anywhere, within the

realms of physical expression and then gather the substance we
need to interact with the physical. As the result of the unique
connection we have made between the etheric and the physical
we have been given the honor of teaching this ability to all who
desire to learn it.”
“Who was here first? On Archana?” I asked, hoping she

would have an answer.
“The race that we once were, before the destruction. We

were a race that was dependant upon mechanization, dependant
upon the physical manipulation of substances, of society, of all of
life. At that time we could not see beyond that which we could
connect with through our senses. In many ways we physically
resembled the races that populate the planet today. In other
words, some of our original race was caught up in the Great
Evolvement in a different way then we were. Also, an animal
species that had begun to develop sentience before the Great
Evolvement took a giant leap forward. We, who now express
through this substance known as the Meathos, were all here
before the destruction. Now, it has become our task to teach our
physical brethren and their children to value the inner life more
than the outer life and to coexist with their environment in
productive and non-destructive ways.”
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Kerry Dennis
“So, there was a race that predated you and the

Sensarians?”
“That race was made up of both the Sensarians and those

who have become the Meathos, as we were before the Great
Evolvement. The Ancients of both have memories of what it was
like before that time. Both the Ancient Sensarians and the Ancient
Meathos. It is a time that we have been all too willing to leave
buried. Now we see that our children are rediscovering our past,
and there is a great debate as to whether this should be
sanctioned or forbidden.”
“It has been my experience that that which I was forbidden to

do I did anyway, throwing caution to the wind.” I said.
“You are not afraid to speak your mind. That is one of the
things that we like about your people. We believe that you are
right, and that continuing to forbid discovery would be more
harmful than allowing it to continue. As you go through your
process of self-discovery, we do also. It is difficult to revisit our
mistakes, and yet, in doing so I believe that we also discover our
strengths. It is painful to confront our past, our lack of
consideration for our world, for one another, and yet, it is this very
thing that contributed to the Meathos’ enlightenment, to the
changes in our substance that set us free and yet drew us all
together into one mind. The songs you sang at the Think-See
405
allowed us to connect with that truth. We thank you for that.”
“It wasn’t mine, it came from somewhere else. I just shared it

with you.” I said, unwilling to be named as a catalyst for change
on this planet.
“The gift was given to you by others, that’s true, but it is your
heart and your soul that contributed the thoughts and feelings
behind the words. It came out of your experience, and it spoke to
our hearts and souls. It is time that you accept the possibility that
you can have a positive effect upon others, regardless of how you
perceive your position relative to them. I tell you this because it is
true, not out of any attempt to simply soothe your injured heart.”
“Okay,” I said, not quite knowing how to feel about that. “So
can I meet one of the Ancients?”
“I am one of the Ancients,” she said, smiling. “I remember

the day when our world changed. I have no position of authority,
and am not exalted among the Meathos, for there is no hierarchy
here. We decided to become a communal force at the beginning
of our new existence. We decided then, suddenly being of one
mind, that we would pool our knowledge, our experience and our
strength and work as one to reclaim the planet of our beginnings.
Nevertheless, although I speak for the One, I also speak from my
own unique perspective as an individual.”
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Kerry Dennis
“Wow!” I said, my mind spinning with questions. “So, what

happened? How did the destruction happen?”
“We were attempting to control our physical environment.

We wanted to control the weather, the rotation of the planet, and
to tap into power sources that were beyond our understanding.
We managed most of it, but then, one day, it all just snapped, like
a string pulled too tight. The destruction that occurred as the
result of that snap lasted for many cycles and changed us, slowly,
painfully, forever. It was the time of our darkest days, and yet the
beginning of our salvation from ourselves.”
“It sounds an awful lot like what the people of my planet are
doing now. Trying to control everything and all.”
“Yes, and as we gain the opportunity to touch other races,

other worlds, we can see that what we did is not all that unique or
unusual. We also see where there are opportunities to instruct
and to guide developing races toward what we now enjoy as a
highly rewarding existence, without the need endure a calamity to
attain it.”
“I sure wish you could help my people. They are really going
down the wrong road.”
“Your petition is enough. Rest assured, we will work through

you, as long as you allow us to. It is important to remember
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though that we do not seek to change the destiny of any race, but
rather to assist them in coping with the destiny of their choosing.”
“Thanks, I’ll remember that, and thanks for the help, we will
probably need all the assistance we can get.” I said, meaning it,
but not yet comprehending what it meant. “Well, thank you for
talking with me Meestra. I really appreciate your explaining all of
that. I guess I should get back to my friends now.”
“I am sure I will be seeing you again soon.” She smiled and

then gave me a quick hug and released me. “Take the light of my
love with you.”
“I will,” I said, and then I began to walk toward the steps.
As I began to climb the steps, I saw that Aranon and

Remmie were waiting at the top. Aranon smiled and nodded.
Remmie smiled and gave me a hug as I climbed up beside her.
“I’m glad I went,” I said. “I learned a lot about the origin of the
Meathos.”
“Really?” Quarried Remmie, her face showed disbelief.
“Yep.” I smiled at her. “Meestra is the one that talked to me.

She said that she is an Ancient, and that she remembers the time
before the destruction.”
“Really?” Replied both Aranon and Remmie, both looking

incredulous.
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Kerry Dennis
“I’m sure you have heard all of this. I mean your race has
known the Meathos for ages, right?” I was starting to think that I
had been given privileged information.
“We have always known there were Ancients who

remembered, we just never knew who they were. They have
never shared those memories with us.” She just stood there
staring at me.
“I just asked questions and she answered them. There was a

little talk about the Meathos having come to the conclusion that
continuing to forbid discovery would be more harmful than
allowing it to continue.”
“Oh my,” said Remmie, looking feint. “What did she say
precipitated this conclusion?”
“Well, I don’t believe it, but she said it was because of the
songs I sang at the Think-See. I’m not even sure what I sang,” I
said feeling at a loss. “Or which song made the difference.”
“How absolutely wonderful!” She exclaimed, clapping her

hands in joy. “I believe it when she said it was your songs. Your
visualizations were quite powerful. The Meathos is the catalyst
that makes the Think-See happen, by providing the substance
through which the visualizations are brought to life. When they
helped to create your visualizations your songs must have
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touched them as much as they did the rest of us. Tell us more!
What happened to that civilization that we uncovered and who
were they?”
“That destroyed civilization was populated by the beings

from which the Meathos and the Sensarians descended. She said
that after something called the Great Evolvement, those who
managed to survive the initial holocaust were changed. Some
became the Meathos and some became the Sensarians. I didn’t
ask why some were shifted into the etheric, while the rest
remained in physical bodies, but that’s what happened. Maybe
there was a blast, and those at the epicenter were shifted into the
etheric, and those outside the blast suffered from the effects of
some sort of fallout that changed their bodies. It is probably what
caused that Great Evolvement thing. I know from studying about
the atomic bomb that there can be genetic transformations as the
result of nuclear fallout. Maybe whatever caused this blast also
caused a kind of fallout.”
“Then she didn’t tell you what caused the blast?”
“She said that they were attempting to control their physical

environment. That they wanted to control the weather, the rotation
of the planet, and to tap into power sources that were beyond
their understanding, and one day something snapped, like a string
that had been drawn too tight, and in an instant, everything
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Kerry Dennis
changed, but it took many cycles for the changes to complete.”
“Christy,” asked Remmie, anxiously. “Would you be willing to

talk to our Historical Society about this conversation?”
“Golly Jeeze,” I said, feeling overwhelmed again. “Why

doesn’t your Historical Society just go and talk to Meestra? She
must have known I would tell you. I am sure she would be willing
to tell you herself.”
She did a double take and then smiled. “Of course. If she
was willing to tell you, she would surely be willing to discuss it
with us now.” Then she smiled, gently. “I apologize. I should not
have presumed that you would be comfortable being a liaison
between us and the Meathos.”
“I’m willing to do that, if that is what Meestra wants. I just

think you should ask her yourself. Then, if she would rather I
speak for her, I will.”
“That’s my girl,” said Aranon. “Now, why don’t we find a quite

place so that the two of you can share your experiences?”
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Twenty-Four
Remmie and I sat facing one another across a stone table

that had been polished like marble. Aranon sat on a bench
behind me, but close enough to hear our conversation.
“Who should go first?” I asked him, turning to look at him.
“I will go first,” answered Remmie, as her face drained of all
color. “It is time.” Aranon smiled at her and nodded.
“I was a small child. I suppose I would have been at the
developmental level of a five year old on your planet, Christy. I
have studied your planet and it’s culture, with the help of Aranon,
and this is about as close as I can get to an accurate
comparison.”
“Okay,” I said, taking her hand. Already my heart was
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Kerry Dennis
breaking.
“As I had explained before, my father was a diplomat,
working to bring a culture, on another planet, into diplomatic
relations with our own. To show trust, my father brought my
mother and I on the visit. I was a curios child, as most Siminian
children are.”
“All children at that age are curious, at least they are on my
planet.” I interjected.
She smiled at me and then continued. “I was more
adventurous than most, I think. I decided to go out and investigate
this new place, all by myself. At that time both of my parents were
busy, my father meeting with businessmen, my mother meeting
with their mates. There was a young woman from this society,
who was entertaining the children of those who had come to visit
with my parents, but I was not entertained. I snuck out. I wanted
to meet the people that were going to be coming to our planet to
sell things and to buy things. I wanted to see just how different
they were.
“These people were much like us. They looked a lot like us,
having fur and two arms and legs and the ability to speak. I was
filled with wonder as I walked alone on their roads and greeted
people with the few words that I had learned from my father. I met
other children but they could not connect with me like the children
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of my world could. They did not share consciousness like we did.

My father hoped that they would utilize the help of the Meathos to
acquire these skills. I was disappointed by my first contacts with
them and had started back toward our temporary quarters when a
large male tried to engage me in a conversation. I only knew a
few words of his language, so I didn’t understand what he was
saying to me.
“Finally, he grew tired of trying to get me to understand him
and took my hand and led me to his place of residence. I went,
thinking that being I was the child of a diplomat I was safe. No
one would jeopardize their planet's standing with our world by
harming the visiting diplomat’s child.
“Once we arrived at his place of residence, his behavior
became more and more aggressive, and he began touching me in
ways I had never been touched before, and he smiled when I
swooned at those touches, not knowing why they effected me as
they did. Then, he covered me with his body and a part of him
penetrated me in that special place that makes me female, and
then all I could feel was pain. Terrible, tearing pain! I cried out, but
he laughed, and continued with what he was doing.
“His organ was huge to begin with, but his body was different
then our bodies in that his organ swelled upon orgasm and he
could not remove it until he was sated. For a very long time he
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remained joined with me, ripping and tearing my insides, causing

unbelievable pain, heaving and howling, his weight crushing my
small body. When he was finished with me, he took me outside
and tossed me in the roadway.
“Those who maintain order, police is what you call them on
your world, found me. They knew who I was for all the police in
the city were looking for me. They returned me to my parents, but
I could not tell them what had happened to me, for I didn’t know.
There is no word in our language for rape. All I could do was point
to my female organs and cry.
“My parents rushed me home and I was looked at by the
Sensarian doctors, who explained to my parents what had
happened. I was then taken to the Meathos, but because my
understanding was limited, even the Meathos was at a loss as to
how to help me.
“Finally, after a long time of deep depression, the Meathos
advised my parents to take me to Anchor, where Aranon worked
with me, helped me to remember, and then helped me to
understand and finally forgive.
“As the result of this assault, my body was damaged, and my
parents were told that I would probably not be able to bear a child
of my own. Nevertheless, because of Aranon and his wonderful
healing machines, the use of which are not sanctioned by my
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society, I became whole again, and was able to become a

mother, when I felt the time was right. Since then I have worked
with Aranon, the Meathos and the Sensarians, helping those who
have had similar experiences. ”
“I’m glad,” I said, my eyes filled with tears. “I am sorry that
happened to you. I know it was terrifying and painful. I know what
it feels like to carry this secret for a long time, not knowing how to
tell about it or who to tell it to.”
“Did you hate yourself? Did you feel that you wanted to be
male instead of female?”
“Yes,” I replied, “I did. My parents didn’t understand it. They
allowed me to act like a male and dress like a male. On my
planet, because we wear clothes, it is hard to tell a female child
from a male child if they dress alike and wear their hair alike.” I
dressed and wore my hair like a boy, like a male child, for some
time after my experience.”
“Tell me about your experience,” she said, softly.
I told her about the boys who promised to show me a
magical place, and how they had tricked me so that they could
take sexual advantage of me. I told her, as best I could, about
what that meant and how it felt. I told her how my mother had
treated me and how the doctor had treated me and how lost and
alone I felt and how I had lost myself that day, how Lynn had died
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and how another alter was created. When I was finished I was
shaking all over and sobbing. Remmie took my hands in hers and
then finally moved beside me and took me in her arms. I sobbed
deeply as she held me, feeling the energy of the remembered
event draining out of me. Finally, completely drained, I asked
Aranon to take me home.
Aranon lifted me up and carried me back to our apartment
where he placed me in the Meathos pool. Meestra came to me
and gathered me up and took me to the beautiful city, where she
and others nurtured me until I was emptied of all the pain and the
memories. Finally, I was taken back and Aranon retrieved me
from the pool and put me to bed.
I awoke with a start, sitting bolt upright out of a nightmare. I

was sweating profusely and was in great pain in my lower
abdomen. I tried to remember what the dream was about, but it
fled from me like a thief caught red-handed. I struggled out of bed
and wandered into the common room where I plopped down on
one of the large cushions, feeling exhausted. My hair hung in
twisted wet hanks, and I shivered in my sweat soaked nightshirt.
Here we go again! I thought to myself, my heart still pounding.
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Aranon appeared in the doorway of his room, the sleep still

weighing down his eyelids. As soon as he became aware of my
condition he moved quickly to a place beside me on the cushion.
“What has happened?” He asked, feeling my flushed cheeks
and seeing my wet hair and sweat soaked nightshirt.
“I had a really bad nightmare,” I said, shivering again.
Aranon got up and retrieved a blanket off his bed and then
wrapped it around me. “Tell me about it,” he said, calmly.
“I don’t remember!” I said, as tears slid from my eyes. This
had been happening for as long as I could remember. The
nightmare, the sense of terror, the pain in my legs and arms, the
pain in my lower abdomen, like a bladder infection. I was never
able to uncover the contents of the nightmare. This was the
driving force behind my secret wish.
“I suppose it is time for us to return to Anchor.”
“I guess you’re right,” I said, feeling very sad to have to leave
this beautiful and idyllic world. I had made a friend here, who
looked like one of the actors in Planet Of The Apes, except that
she had a human face and was a deeply spiritual person. I would
never forget the friendship and kindness that she had given to
me, nor the story she told that made us kindred souls. “But not
before I say goodbye to Remmie.”
“Of course,” he said with an understanding smile.
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Kerry Dennis
“This isn’t new, Aranon.” I said using my most reasonable

tone. “It’s been going on as long as I can remember. I can never
remember what it was about, and I always hurt all over and feel
terrified for maybe an hour or so before I can get back to sleep.”
“Have you ever tried to find out what it’s about?”
“Yes, but I just can’t remember. I have even tried to think of
ways to make myself remember. I just don’t think anyone will ever
be able to help me with it.”
“Tell me how I can help you with it.”
“You know about it,” I said, a little curtly. “You saw it when I
had that bad time in the ship on the way here.”
“Refresh my memory.”
“I can’t. That’s one of the rules.”
“Tell me about the rules.”
I sat there for a moment, trying to think of how I would tell
him about the rules without telling him my secret wish. “One of the
rules is, I can’t tell you the rules. You just got’a know without
being told. It’s like a test.”
“Okay, what is the test for?”
“To be sure that the right person helps me.”
“How can you know if it is the right person?”
“Because they will know what to do and what to say without
my telling them. That will mean that God sent them, and that it will
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be a loving thing, not a destructive thing.”

“Ah,” he said. “Let me see if I have this right. What you are
waiting for is God to send you the right person who will know
exactly what to do without being told, and that this will somehow
lead to your remembering what happened to cause these
recurring nightmares?”
“That’s about it,” I said, my heart pounding. He knew. I knew
he knew. Maybe he would do it. Maybe he would help me with
this.
“All right,” he said, almost hesitantly. “Have you calmed
down enough to go back to sleep?”
“I don’t know. My heart is still pounding.” What I didn’t say
was that until I knew if he would help me, it was a good possibility
that my heart would pound whenever I was alone with him.
“Okay, well considering that you have been through this
many times before, I guess I will go back to bed, and you can
either do the same or wait here until you feel you are ready to
sleep.”
“Okay,” I said, feeling both relieved and let down at the same
time. “I don’t have to confront this right now. I can wait till we get
back to Anchor.”
“That’s good.” He started back to his room. “Try to get some
sleep.”
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I sat there alone for a few minutes, feeling uneasy. Usually

he would stay and push me to reveal more and more until I was
overwhelmed. I was confused by his behavior. Then, suddenly I
realized something. Piddles was gone. I hadn’t seen him since the
night before when Lynn and Aranon walked him. I got up and
looked through the entire apartment, even in the cabinets and
under things. No Piddles. Now I was frantic and crying. I went to
my room and started to dress, thinking I had better go look for
him. Aranon stood in the doorway, as I stood up after tying my
shoes.
“Where is Piddles?” I said, angrily. “When were you going to
tell me that he was gone?”
“He’s not gone, he spent last night and today at Remmie’s
house. We took him to her house when we walked him last night.
I apologize for not informing you. Obviously Lynn knew and I just
assumed you did too, but it seems there are still gaps in your
communication with her.”
“You could have said something!” I shouted at him, filled with
an anger I hadn’t felt in a long time. “I was frantic! I thought he
had somehow wandered off, just like I was afraid of before we
came. You should have told me!” I balled up my fists and shook
them at him, wanting to hit him but restraining myself.
“You are absolutely right,” he countered, holding up his
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hands as if I were toting a loaded gun. “It was an unconscionable

oversight. I can only beg your forgiveness.”
“Why didn’t Remmie say something?”
“Maybe she was as overwhelmed as you were at the
prospect of telling someone else her story. Could it be that she
still carries a great deal of pain within her, just as you do? Put
yourself in her place, would you have remembered, knowing that
you were going to revisit one of the most painful times of your
life?”
“No, probably not.” I hung my head and then sat back down
on my bed and began removing me shoes. “I’m sorry. I was so
wrapped up in the prospect of that moment that I probably shut
Lynn out. It’s probably my fault.”
“What is your fault?” He asked, sitting down on my bed
beside me as I untied my shoes.
“Not giving anyone a chance to tell me about Piddles.”
“Christy, there is no such thing as fault, there are only
circumstances and choices. Everyone strives to make the best
choices under any given circumstances. Remmie will be bringing
Piddles back in the morning. Try to get some sleep, okay?” He
rubbed his hand over my head, mussing my already messy hair.
He then got up and left my room.
Again, I sat there trying to figure things out. Why did Remmie
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want Piddles for a whole day and a night? Had she fallen in love
with him? He was the only dog on Archana. Maybe they had
never seen a dog before. Maybe she wanted to study him. But
then why would she take him on a night before a long day where
she couldn’t be with him? Whom had she left him with while we
were on our tour? I lay back on my bed with these thoughts
chasing themselves around in my mind.
I was awakened by Piddles jumping up on my bed and

licking my face. I opened my eyes and his met mine, and he sat
and smiled at me, his tongue protruding from his open smile just
over his front teeth. I laughed at him, and gave him a pet. I told
him how much I had missed him, which made his tail begin to
wag. I then got up and put my shoes back on, since I was still fully
dressed, having fallen asleep in my clothes.
With piddles at my heals, I entered the common room.
Remmie sat on one of the cushions drinking something, and
Aranon sat on another, doing likewise.
“Can I have some?” I asked, not even knowing what it was
they were drinking.
“Of course,” replied Remmie with a broad smile on her face.
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“I brought some tea that my grandmother taught me to make. It’s

to promote, ah, pleasantness. I thought it would be a nice way for
us to say our goodbyes.” She got up and went to the table and
filled a cup-like container from a carafe. “Tell me what you think,”
she said, handing me the cup.
I took a sip and it tasted sweet and tangy. “It’s good.” I gave
a forced smile. I was still upset over Piddles’ absence.
“Aranon told me that you would be leaving today. He also
told me about last night and how worried you were about your
friend, Piddles. I apologize for not discussing it with you. You see,
my husband is an exobiologist, and he was desperate to see this
unique little animal. I asked Aranon for permission to take him
home with me the other night, but he said it would be better if he
brought him by when Lynn took him for his walk. I had no idea
yesterday that you didn’t know where he was.”
“You’re married?”
“Yes,” she smiled, “and I have two children.”
“Thanks to Anchor’s forbidden machines,” I stated, still in
shock by her revelation.
“Yes,” she looked at Aranon and gave him a secret smile.
“And did your husband perform tests on Piddles?” I asked,
concerned that he had been terrorized.
“Nothing was done to him without his permission,” she said,
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her words halting, cautious. “He is a very amiable little fellow, and
is very interested in being helpful. He was never harmed in any
way, and he received a whole lot of attention from my children.
We will miss him. He won our hearts completely.” She smiled
again, but I could tell that she was still being cautious.
“I see.” I was still feeling angry and not knowing why. I
wanted to leave Remmie with fond memories and good wishes
and yet somehow I felt betrayed by her.
“I’m so sorry, Christy. I had no idea that this would cause
you so much upset.” Sadness spread across her face as I sat
down on a cushion.
My heart sank when I saw how sad this had made her. This
wasn’t the way I wanted to say goodbye. “Remmie, I’m sorry.” I
put my cup down and went to her, throwing my arms around her,
as tears flowed down my cheeks. She returned the hug, and I
could hear her sniffling.
“We have much in common,” she sniffed, “and I would like to
think of you as my friend.”
“You are my friend!” I said, putting my hands on her
shoulders, moving out of the embrace and looking into her tear-
filled eyes. “I would like to think that we will always be friends, in
spite of my sometimes overly sensitive nature.”
“You have every right to feel as you do. Nevertheless, I
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would like to think we will always be friends in spite of silly

mistakes.”
“We will,” I replied. “And when I get sent back home, I will
ask that Piddles be brought back to you if his previous family is no
longer interested in keeping him. And a girlfriend for him too, if we
can find one, so that you will be the first on Archana to raise a
family of dogs.”
“Is that a possibility?” She asked, turning to Aranon.
“It is,” he replied, smiling.
“That would be wonderful! My husband and children will be
so excited.”
“And that’s another thing,” I said. “I would like to meet your
husband and children before I go.”
“Of course! I am sure they will be honored to meet you.”
We took the little side road, that alleyway where Aranon and
Lynn walked Piddles, to go to Remmie’s house. Remmie’s
husband, who seemed surprised by our being there, met us at the
door.
“Remmie!” He said, opening the door wider so that we could
enter. “I wasn’t expecting company.” He closed the door after we
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were all inside, and then ran about the room picking things up
from the floor and straightening up the room.
“Christy wanted to meet you. I thought that you would like to
say goodbye to her with me. She would also like to meet the
children.”
“Uh, yes,” he said coming over to me and putting out his
hand, like any human on Earth would greet another. “It is an
honor to meet you! I’m Targo.”
“It’s an honor to meet you too, Targo,” I replied, taking his
hand and giving it a gentle shake. In my arms, Piddles wagged
his tail and grinned, doggie fashion.
The house was much larger than our apartment, and had
two floors with a circular staircase that seemed to be growing out
of the main floor and up into the next. I was fascinated by this and
went to investigate.
“How are the houses made?” I asked. “Do you carve out the
inside of the trees?”
“Oh no,” replied Targo. “We tell the tree what we would like
and it creates it for us. The trees learned a long time ago that they
fare much better offering us residences that meet our needs. We
also learned a long time ago how to communicate with them,
through the elementals, and it is through them that the trees are
able to mold themselves into serviceable living quarters. I think
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you would call it a symbiotic arrangement.” He smiled, kindly.

“Would you like to look the place over?”
“Yes, I would like that very much.”
He led us through the living room and into a large kitchen
where there was a large table and benches growing from the
floor. Two of the benches were higher than the others, probably
for the children, I thought.
“This is our eating space,” he said, proudly, walking us
around the circular table with its semicircular benches.
“I like the table. Tell the tree that it did a good job on that.”
Targo beamed, more like a housewife than a husband, but
then this was a different culture, and maybe the roles were
reversed.
“I will,” he replied.
He then led us to another room, between the living room and
the kitchen. In this room there was a pool, probably Meathos,
three toilets and what looked like a shower stall.
“What’s this?” I asked, pointing to the stall.
“That is a personal care cubical, are you not familiar with
that?”
“Yes, we have had one in our apartment, but I never used it.
How does it work?”
“The trees roots reach deep into the planet and pull up clean
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water. Then, the tree pulls it up into this valve where it is released
when we touch this knob here, which is sensitive to our touch. As
we bathe the water is returned to the tree, and reused for its
nutrient value.“
“Wow! You really do have a symbiotic relationship! This is
amazing!”
“It is just the way we live,” replied Targo, shrugging.
He led us back into the living room and then up that unique
staircase. As we ascended the stairs, I could see another central
room with three more rooms leading off from it. Two small
Siminian children sat with a Sensarian, putting something
together. It may have been a puzzle or maybe a math project. The
children looked up, smiling broadly, but remained seated beside
their instructor.
“Esteemed Aldalgo, this is Christy, Christy, this is the
Esteemed Aldalgo, my Children’s Teaching Guide, and also my
Teaching Guide when I was a child.”
I bowed to the Teaching Guide, holding the bow until he
nodded back at me. He didn’t seem all that thrilled that we had
interrupted his lesson. Finally, when one of the children placed
the last piece into the three-dimensional puzzle, he smiled
broadly. He gave the child a hug, speaking softly, and then the
child grinned back at him. He jumped from the stool on which he
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sat and ran to his mother. There was no doubt now that the child
was male. The other child awaited a nod from the Teaching
Guide, which came after the boy child had greeted his mother.
Then the other child, a girl, received her nod and she bolted off
her stool and ran for her hug.
“I am very pleased to meet you,” said Aldalgo, standing. His
height was very close to Aranon’s.
He walked over to me and pulled me into a hug. I was
somewhat taken off guard by that, as it seemed almost improper
with all of the regimentation I had seen in his relationship with the
children. But then he was their teacher, and as I was told,
demanded respect, as well as gave it. I was just a visitor.
“I am glad to meet you too,” I said, feeling a bit overwhelmed
by the hug.
“Are you a child in your race, or are you an adult?” He
asked.
“I guess I am an adult, but I feel as though I am still a child,
with much to learn.”
“A good position to hold,” he replied, smiling down at me, his
dark eyes glistening. “Nevertheless, you are also a Teaching
Guide for those of us who call this planet home, in spite of the fact
that you do not yet understand this.”
I was at a loss for words. I just sort of stood there, letting him
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hug me, feeling the warmth of his acceptance. Nevertheless it felt

awkward, and I was a little embarrassed because he seemed to
want to continue to hold me. Finally, he laughed a bellowing laugh
and then released me, his dark eyes twinkling merrily.
“It is difficult for you to accept praise and love,” he said, still
smiling. “If you were to stay here with us, I would teach you to
value yourself and your efforts. I would take you as my special
charge, and I would show you the wonders within you and
without.”
“It’s a very tempting offer,” said Aranon, also smiling. “But we
have more work to do before she would be ready for your
tutelage.”
“Ah, and I have my charges here, in need of me for many
cycles to come, so the prospect is moot. Nevertheless, I am
drawn to her. Maybe, one day she will return and spend time with
us?”
“Maybe one day I will,” I said, feeling left out of the
conversation. Then turning to Remmie I said, “What are your
children’s names?”
Aldalgo stiffened, and then clapped his hands. The children
both walked back to him and stood at attention before him. He
spoke to them softly and then they turned around, facing me.
The boy took one step forward bowed and said, “I am
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Dagna. I am very pleased to meet you, Christy.”

I bowed back to him and then told him that I was pleased to
meet him too. He grinned broadly and then took one step back.
Then his younger sister took one step forward, bowed and
said, “I am Demmie and I am pleased to meet you, Christy.”
I repeated the process and she also grinned and took
one step back. Then they turned to face their teacher, bowed and
awaited his bow in return. Then he again spoke to them softly and
they turned and came over to me and each gave me a hug. I was
charmed. They were beautiful children. I was starting to wish that
we could stay another day, and I could spend more time with
them, and with Aldalgo.
We shared a meal with Remmie and her family, and then bid
them all a sad goodbye. Remmie accompanied us to the
spaceport and our Tri-car. It was a tearful farewell, as we hugged
again and promised to see each other again. She gave piddles
one last hug, and he gave her one last lick, and then Aranon
helped me up the steps into the ship. My eyes were filled with
tears as the door closed. Aranon patted me on the shoulder and
said, “You’ll be back; I have no doubt about that.”
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Twenty-Five
The trip back to Anchor took less than five minutes, which is
what Aranon told me it usually takes when he is not awaiting port
clearance. As Aranon opened the door, Piddles began to turn in
circles, yipping. Aranon clipped the leash on him and carried him
down the stairs, and put him down after which he immediately
turned in circles, squatted and did his thing.
“I think he is glad to be home.” Aranon chuckled as Piddles
piddled on everything in sight as we walked through Top Side.
“I already miss Remmie.” I said, feeling more of a loss than
anything else.
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“I am really glad that you two were able to share your

intimate experiences with one another. That is a special bond that
cannot be broken by time and space.”
“Yeah, well, it may not be broken by time and space, but it
sure feels like it.”
“I know.” He put his arm around me and gave me a gentle
hug.
By the time that we had crossed though the gate and into the
rotunda I was feeling closed in. My demeanor had become
morose. I felt like an automaton, being guided by Aranon’s hand
on my shoulder, through the twists and turns of hallways, back to
my room. When he waved his hand to open my door I was silent
and withdrawn.
“Maybe you would like to take a nap,” said Aranon, guiding
me to my bed.
I lay down and turned myself away from him, feeling like I
was in a prison cell, and my fate was now to be determined by
others. This seemed to be the way that I dealt with stress. I would
just withdraw and shut down.
Aranon left me there, after he let me know that he was taking
Piddles back to Sam and Jeanie’s. I lay there trying to bring my
secret wish into focus, but it wouldn’t come. I could connect with
the basic premise, but the fantasies that had seen me through
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previous times of great stress would not materialize. I felt

frustrated and angry. I knew that he had done something to me,
maybe when I was in all that pain on the ship, something that not
only took away the pain in my gut but also short circuited my
ability to build my fantasy of actuation and release.
The energy of my frustration was building and building, and
before long I began to feel a panic attack coming on. I started
hyperventilating and my heart started pounding faster and harder.
I wanted to get up but I was shaking so bad and felt so dizzy that I
lay back down and curled into a fetal position. I wanted to cry but
no tears would come out, and so I cried out verbally.
“No, no, no, no!” Was the only thing that would come out.
In between the no’s I gasped and moaned. I felt like I was in
hell. The funny thing is, I knew I was doing this to myself, but felt
powerless to stop myself. For whatever reason I just kept feeding
it and building it, wracking my body with shakes and gasps. How
insane can you get?
But here I was, playing this dangerous game again of hoping
help would come in time, yet unable or unwilling to call out for
help. They could probably see me. They probably knew I needed
attention. Maybe they thought I was playacting? Was I
playacting? I was having real feelings; I was near hysteria as
these feelings roared through me. I did need attention! I just
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wished I knew what it was that happened to me that made me

need it so much! There has to be a reason why I was doing this to
myself. I needed to know! I needed to know!
“No, no, no!”
Aranon rushed into the room, picked me up and took me
right into the Meathos pool. “Calm down, just breathe normally,
relax your body. Open to the Meathos; let it fill you with peace.
That’s it, Christy. You will get through this, and I will help as much
as you will allow. I can’t do something to help you until you tell me
what it is you think you need. All I can do is try to make you
comfortable and keep reminding you that I am here to facilitate
your healing. What happens now is up to you. You control it. If
you would like to give up some of that control, temporarily, I would
also be glad to facilitate that.”
“I don’t understand,” I said, still racing inside.
“I can calm you with a touch, and in that same instant, know
what is at the root of the incident. Allowing me to do whatever
would make things easier.”
Now I really had to think. Could I give him that much control
and the license to look into my secret thoughts, my inner games
and my manipulations? How can I stop playing the game? I have
to know what happed that started this game. I don’t think I can do
that until I fulfill the purpose of the game. It’s supposed to open
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that door in my mind where the secret to me is. That’s the only
direction I am willing to go.
“No.” I said it firmly. I meant it.
“Okay then, we do it your way. But there is a very important
component to that. You cannot have what you are unwilling to ask
for. I can offer you nothing until you ask for it.”
“But what if I can’t ask for it? What if I knew it wouldn’t work
if I did?”
“That is a dilemma,” he said.
“No it’s not,” I said, feeling trapped. “You know what I want.
You saw it.”
“I may have seen it, but you still have to ask.”
“I can’t,” I cried, feeling helpless. The game was not going
well at all.
“Maybe you can,” he said, gently. “Maybe you could take a
chance and step outside the game. You are aware that I know,
without your having told me, at least not out of your own volition.
Now, all you have to do is verbalize it. Do you think you could do
that?”
I was thinking that over, as the Meathos soothed my strained
nervous system. It seemed logical that if he already knew, then
just saying it aloud probably wouldn’t ruin anything. I was really
stuck in this game. It had kept the hope alive that I would one day
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discover the secret that had filled my nights with nightmares and
my days with endless daydreams of putting an end to them. It had
to work! Maybe I would only get one chance. If I made a mistake
here, I could blow it forever.
“I don’t want to ruin the chance that it could work.”
“Is it possible that telling me exactly what you want may be
the only way for it to work? What you cannot own, never belongs
to you.”
“I’ll have to think about that. I really need for this to work. I
really need to know what happened to me that has made my life
such a nightmare.”
“I could help you to do that without the necessity of my doing
what you want me to do. What you are stuck in, my dear friend is
a child’s magical wish. Somewhere in your inner reality is a child
with a magical wish based upon a childish, distorted
understanding. Somehow that child got love all mixed up with pain
and cannot separate the two. And now, although you are more
aware, more capable of understanding what happened to you and
dealing with it objectively, you are still locked into that child’s
magical thinking. Take a chance. Lets discuss this like two adults
and find a way to open that memory for you, without the need for
pain and intense distress.”
“No!” I was adamant. “It has to be completed! It has to
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become real! Nothing else will do! I need this experience to

complete something! I need this! I need this!” I said, strongly,
firmly, and adamantly.
“Okay, then lets find out why.”
“I will only find out why when it happens!”
“All right then, when you are really ready to go through this,
you will ask me for what you want. Are you ready to get out of the
pool?”
Suddenly I felt as though I were being dismissed.
Nevertheless, the Meathos supported me, relaxed me, and
imparted the feeling that I could trust my instincts. I nodded and
we stood up and climbed out of the pool. He led me to the
conversation area and motioned for me to take a chair.
“Tell me about the game.” He sat down and then moved his
chair so that he was facing me.
“I don’t know how.” Again I was faced with exposing the
secrets of the game, and felt frightened.
“Remember, I already know what it’s about, but I would like
you to explain how, why and when you play it.”
“It’s not something I consciously decide upon.”
“Okay, you’re a very observant person, so what have you
observed as the catalyst, the trigger for playing the game?”
“Being in the presence of a kind and loving man, whom I can
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relate to as a father. Then, I have to get to know him, and I have

to let him get to know me, at least a little.”
“Good! That is very honest!” He gave me a kind smile and
patted my knee. “Now tell me, how does the game begin?”
“I start hurting. I start needing help with my pain. I trust him
with some of my secrets. I show him that I am a person worthy of
his attention, I let him see my talents.”
“Ah hah!” He grinned, showing perfect white teeth. “And all
of that has happened, between us, has it not?” He used his finger
to point into the air.
“Yes.”
“So what’s next?”
“I don’t know, it hasn’t happened yet. This is as far as I have
ever gotten. That’s why I have to complete it. I have to!”
“So what does your gut tell you that you need to do to
continue the game?”
“It’s supposed to be up to you now. You are supposed to
know what I want and just do it. Will you please just do it?” I
asked, trembling. Tears were flooding into my eyes, blurring my
vision.
“Do what?” He asked softly, laying his hand on my knee.
“You know what! Just do it!”
“I need you to verbalize what you want.”
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“I just did!” I cried, tears spilling from my eyes, my hands

balled up into fists. “You know what I want and I am asking you to
please do it!”
“Do what?” He asked again, this time in a more demanding
tone.
He gripped my arm, pulling me slightly forward, and I gasped
with the anticipation that he was considering taking the next step.
My heart was pounding now, and my whole body was singing with
hypersensitivity.
“You know what!!!!” I yelled at him and then I sobbed. “Just
do it!”
He shifted forward and started to pull me from my chair. I
was sobbing wildly now, and shaking all over. For a moment we
just hung there in suspended animation, him gripping me, and me
sobbing. Then he seemed to make a decision and pulled me
across his lap, face down.
“I guess that is as close to asking as you are going to get, so
I am going to honor that. This is not what I choose to do to help
you, but it is what you have asked me to do, and I will honor that
as well. I will also honor your desire for it to be a real experience,
not a simulated one, in spite of the probability that it will be
extremely painful, possibly even physically damaging. I will do my
best not to damage you, while staying within the parameters of
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your fantasy.”
At this point I felt his hand slap my buttocks with such a force
that it took my breath away. As the pain exploded there and then
moved quickly to involve my whole body, I screamed.
“Is this what you want?” He asked, as my scream finally
ceased.
“Yes!” I sobbed, my mind reeling with little vignettes,
snippets of memories that would not solidify.
Again, his hand came down hard on my buttocks, and again
the pain screamed through my body and out of my mouth. “Why
do you need this barbaric ritual? What is it for?” He demanded.
“I need to remember!” I screamed and sobbed.
“Pain is not love.” He said with amazing calmness, his voice
filled with compassion. He struck me once again,
With this my heart felt like it broke and images and pain filled
my consciousness that were not from what Aranon was doing. A
man appeared in my vision, standing over me. He wore only an
undershirt. I could feel myself lying on a bed, my hair was wet and
I was naked. My hands were taped to my ankles. I was lying on
my back and the man was touching me on my genitals, softly,
causing my whole body to tingle and want more. Then he shoved
his finger inside me and I could feel the muscles down there
twitching, gripping his finger tightly, as a feeling of pleasure
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rippled through my body, pulsing to the rapid beat of my heart.

It wasn’t what I wanted to feel. I was terrified and wanted to
go home. I wanted my mommy. I didn’t want to feel those things
but I couldn’t help it. Then the man asked me if I liked that, and I
nodded yes, even though I really wanted to go home. I hoped that
if I did and said the right things, he would let me go home.
Then he began to slap me, to hit me all over with his hands,
yelling “Bad! Bad! Bad! It is evil to like that,” he yelled as he
slapped me more. “That is what I am going to teach you. God told
me that I must teach you this, because God loves you and I love
you and you need to know how evil your body is! If I don’t teach
you this, you will do this evil thing with some boy and you will like
it so much that you will be damned, and God will throw you into a
lake of fire where you will burn and burn forever! I am doing this
because I love you. I am doing this because God loves you. I am
doing this to save you from Hell and damnation!”
Then the man in the undershirt climbed on the bed, and I
could see a part of him sticking out, between his legs, big and
dark red, twitching strangely. Then he pushed my knees apart
and forced that thing into me, glaring at me while he did it.
“Do you like that?” Said the man in the undershirt.
The further he pushed himself within me, the more I
screamed. Finally, he took some white tape and put it over my
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mouth. The he pushed himself in again, further and further, until I

was consumed with pain and terror.
“I am doing this because I love you. I am doing this because
God loves you and wants me to show you the evils of you body.”
He then started to pull this part of himself in and out, in and
out, more and more violently, slamming himself into my three year
old body, beating my insides, and slapping my face as his pace
became faster and more violent.
“Bad!” he shouted, as his face contorted in a distorted form
of pleasure. “Bad! Bad! Bad!”
I was sobbing, and as my nose filled up with mucous, I could
not breathe. I struggled to get away from him, as he pounded
himself into me, but my strength was gone, and an icy cold flowed
through me, and then, I died.
My body went limp in Aranon’s lap. I had stopped breathing.
He quickly picked me up and carried me back into the Meathos,
submerging me and waiting until the Meathos had restored my
breathing. Then he went to the interface and plugged himself in.
“Christy,” he said into the connection. “You are safe. Just
breathe normally. You can disconnect from this physically and
describe what is happening. The Meathos will help you.”
“I was just a baby!” I sobbed.
“How old were you?” He asked.
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“Thwee,” said a tiny voice in my mind.

“And what is your name?”
“Sissy,” replied the little voice.
“Tell me what happened, Sissy. Tell me what was hurting
you and where you were?”
“I was helping Mr. Eddy. I was helping him cween his
basement.”
“And then what happened?”
“He gived me a ball. It’s a magic ball that can bounce really,
really high.”
“It went down the dwain.” I saw the ball rolling across the
floor of the basement, and then down a drain in the middle of the
floor. I saw myself crying, lamenting the loss of the magic ball,
looking down the drain but unable to see it. Sobbing louder.
“Then what happened? Asked Aranon, gently.
“Mr. Eddy said he would find me another one. He took me
upstairs into his house. We went into his room.”
“Then what happened?”
He was wooking in da quaset. I sitted on a bed. Two beds. I
sitted on one. He looked at me and then he looked scary. He
pulled me off the bed and hit me. He told me now I was dirty and
had to take a baff. He pulled me into the baffroom and tooked my
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cwose off me. I didn’t want a baff. I wanted my mommy. I was

cwying. He made wadder go in the tub. I didn’t wana baff. I tried
to get away but he wuold’n wet me. I was yelling and cwying and
he tooked a boddle outa a cabinet and put some smelly stuffs on
a wag and put it on my face and I fell and fell into a big black
place. Then I was on da bed and he was touching me and I
couldn’t move, and I couldn’t stop him!” The child began to sob,
uncontrollably.
“It’s not your fault, Sissy. You didn’t do anything wrong. He
hurt you because he was sick, and didn’t know what he was
doing. Love doesn’t hurt, Sissy. He was very sick. He didn’t know
he was lying to you, because he was too sick to know that, but he
was lying to you. You are not evil. Your body is not evil. Love
doesn’t hurt, Sissy. You don’t need pain to feel love. You don’t
need pain just to remember. From now on you will remember
without pain.
“Christy, from now on you will be able to remember without
the spanking ritual. You are not bad. You do not need to be
punished just to remember the pain in your life. The Meathos and
I will help you to remember without the need for even more pain,
without the need to be physically punished. What happened to
you did not happen because you were bad. You are not bad and
you don’t need to be punished.
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“Love is not painful, and your body is not evil. God will not
throw you into a lake of fire. You will get through this and you will
set yourself free from this need for pain. You did nothing wrong.
You don’t need to be punished anymore. Rest now. Let the
Meathos help you to understand. Release the pain, just let it go
now. Rest. Rest in the Meathos’ care.
I awoke in my bed and again Aranon was seated in a chair

beside me. As I turned to look at him he smiled.
“I apologize,” he said, softly. “I was wrong. You did need
that. You were right. It was a key. I think you will understand why
as we work through this terrifying and twisted experience. Just
remember, it is in the past. It has happened, and you survived it,
although for a few minutes I was unsure you would. Your body
died for a short time, even as it did back then, at the time this
happened and that probably shocked your abuser. But then
somehow, after the event, you revived. That probably shocked
your abuser as well.
“As the result of what this man did to you, what he beat into
you during the sexual abuse, punishment for your sins became
the key to unlocking the memory. You instinctively knew that the
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only way to unlock it was to be punished by someone who loved

you. The pain had to synchronize with the pain of the experience
itself, in order to provide a conduit through which the memories
could flow. The pain had to be physically close to the original
experience in order to awaken the cellular memory.
“I am grateful that there was only minimal physical damage
and that the Meathos was able to heal that easily. We are going
to need to go through this again. You know that. There is a little
three-year-old child who calls herself Sissy, who is going to need
your love and your validation. You and Lynn will eventually need
to share your eyes with her. She is going to need lots of love
without pain, lots of chances to experience life as a happy
adventure and not a terrifying experience that promises nothing
but pain. I will help with that, if you are willing to allow me to do
so.”
I was in shock. The images of the experience raced through
my mind, ripping and tearing at my heart. I didn’t reply to him, I
just sobbed. He moved to the bed and pulled me into his arms
and held me, silently crying with me.
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Twenty-Six
After a long nap and something to eat, Aranon had us back

in the conversation area. When I asked about Piddles, he
reminded to me that he had taken Piddles to back to Sam and
Jeannie’s house, as the work we would be doing would not lend
itself well to the needs of the dog.
“But what about Lynn?” I asked. “I thought that the dog was
good for her.”
“She and I agreed on this the night we took Piddles to
Remmie’s house. She realizes now that she is responsible and
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that although things might be a little scary, she will not interfere in
our work, although she is allowed to come out at any time to talk
about how it is affecting her. Are you willing to agree to that?”
“Sure,” I replied, wondering how that last memory affected
her. “She’s probably scared stiff over that last memory. Maybe
you should talk to her.”
“When she’s ready, she’ll let you know. Then you can let me
know. It is important that you talk with her from time to time, and
that she let you know about her feelings. The more you talk to
each other, the easier things will become for both of you.”
“Okay.”
“Are you ready to discuss the memory you last visited?”
“Not really,” I said, not wanting to go there.
“But you understand that it is an important part of the healing
process?”
“Yeah, it’s just really awful. I thought what happened to Lynn
was awful, but this is really awful.”
“Define awful.”
“Too painful to bare. Overwhelming terror.”
“Okay, so maybe we need to take our discussion into the
Meathos, so that you can obtain the strength and the support you
need to face it once again.”
“Yeah, that’s probably best for all of us.” I got up and started
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for the pool.

“Let’s do a full interface, shall we? That’s where you lie down
in the Meathos and I plug in. That way I will be feeling everything
that you feel, physically, emotionally, spiritually. I know I have told
you this before, but I am telling the others too. I will be there with
you.”
I laid down in the Meathos and then breathed deeply. I was
getting used to breathing in it. It felt heavy at first, but you get so
much more oxygen from just a little breath, that it was actually
easier than breathing air. And the Meathos invades every orifice,
whether you hold your breath or not, so your body is constantly
getting oxygen even if you don’t breathe at all. I lay down on the
bottom of the pool and closed my eyes and waited for Aranon to
speak to me.
“All right now, Christy. We are going to go back into the
experience. This time I want you to imagine me standing beside
you, holding your hand. We will step into the scene together, as
observers. Sissy will show us where to start.”
I imagined him there beside me, and he appeared, just as
Meestra does, as though he were flesh and blood. He reached for
my hand and I gave it to him. We took a step forward and stood in
what appeared to be an old basement. Sissy, a sweet little toe
headed child with a little round face and the most startling blue
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eyes, bounced a tiny ball before us. She was wearing blue
corduroy bib overalls and a pink, puffy sleeved shirt. She had on
white high topped leather shoes, and socks with pink and blue
ruffles fluffed from the tops of them. Her face was alight with
delight as she bounced the tiny ball and it shot all the way to the
sealing, while she squealed with joy. It bounced wildly around the
room and she chased it, laughing and giggling, trying to catch it.
Then, the joy came to an end as the ball rolled, silently down a
drain in the middle of the basement. Sissy crouched down in front
of the drain, her lower lip quivering, and then she started to cry.
“What’s wrong, Sis,” came a voice from across the room. A
man stood there, with a box in his arms.
“It went down the dwain!” Cried Sissy. “It’s all gone!”
The man put down the box, and came over to look down the
drain. He was wearing gray slacks and a tan, short sleeved shirt,
which seemed to be clean and well pressed in spite of the
seemingly dirty work he was doing. His hair was gray and cut
medium short, and was combed straight back from his face. He
had a thin, relatively unwrinkled face, dark eyes and a kind smile.
“Come upstairs with me, and I’ll find you another one. I think
I have one in my closet.” He took her little hand in his, and
together we all ascended wooden stairs. As we entered the
kitchen, I could see cabinets with glass doors above the counter
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top, filled with shining dishes and glasses. On the bottom, the
cabinets had curtains instead of doors. The window over the sink
provided the room with only a dimly defused light. We continued
to follow as the man led Sissy through a dining room and then
through a living room that smelled like pipe tobacco.
Off the living room were two closed doors. The man opened
the second door and we tagged along as Sissy followed him into
the room. He opened another door and began rummaging around
in the bottom of a closet. Sissy wandered around the room. There
were two beds, with crucifixes hanging on the wall over the
headboards. They had matching beige, brocade bedspreads.
Between the beds was a nightstand upon which sat a lamp and
an alarm clock. Behind the nightstand was a window covered with
half open blinds. On the wall where the closet was, stood a large
chest of drawers on top of which sat black and white photos of the
man and presumably his wife in filigreed silver frames. Over the
Dresser hung a painting of Jesus praying in the Garden Of
Gethsemane, as shafts of light streamed down from heaven and
bathed his earnest features with an ethereal light. Sissy climbed
up and sat down on the farthest bed, to wait for the man to find
her a new ball.
The man stood up and smoothed his hair back, shaking his
head. “I was sure there was one in here,” he said.
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Then he looked around and saw Sissy sitting on the bed and
his face changed. Something crazy slid down across his features,
and his eyes seemed to flash. He reached out and grabbed
Sissy’s arm and pulled her off the bed, shocking her to silence.
“Now you are dirty!” He shouted, his features all twisted up.
“Now I am going to have to give you a bath!” He jerked her arm
again and pulled her through another door, next to the closet,
which led into a small bathroom. Nestled into the space along one
wall stood an old-fashioned bathtub with high sides and a
rounded back, standing on porcelain clawed feet, upon the
hardwood floor. He turned on the water as Sissy struggled to get
away from him, sobbing loudly.
“I don’t wan’a baff! I wan’a go home. I want my mommy!”
“You sat on her bed! You could be infected! I have to give
you a bath!” He yelled over her screams and sobs, slamming the
door and sliding a slip lock in place, too high for Sissy to reach.
Then he began to remove her clothes. She fought valiantly, at one
point biting him on the hand. That was when he reached into a
cabinet, above the sink, for a small brown bottle. I could see the
label. I could read the label! There was a skull and crossbones on
it and the word Chloroform. Jeeze!
He opened another cabinet and took out a washcloth, while
Sissy sobbed and tried to make the door open. He poured some
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of the liquid from the bottle into the washcloth he had balled up in
his hand and then grabbed Sissy and put the cloth over her mouth
and nose. She continued to struggle for a moment and then fell to
the floor. A swirl of darkness enveloped us, and it felt like we were
falling into a deep, black pit. It was a horrible sensation and made
me want to vomit.
Slowly sensation began to return and I could feel my body
again. Aranon appeared and took my hand and we stepped back
into the dimly lit bedroom. We watched as Mr. Eddy, now stripped
to his underwear, taped Sissy’s wrists to her ankles with hospital
type surgical tape. The man worked as a male nurse in a VA
hospital.
Then, as Sissy stirred, he started to massage her, between
the legs, on her genitalia. I was feeling sick, and turned away, not
wanting to see the rest. I was sickened by what I knew was
coming and I couldn’t bear to watch this skinny old man hurt this
sweet little child. She was so very small! Her eyes were filled with
such terror, as he hit her with the palms of his hands, all over her
naked body, with stinging, resounding slaps.
“Please, Aranon, I can’t watch anymore. Please!”
“Stay with her. She needs you, talk to her. Tell her you are
here and that you can help her with the pain. Take her hand in
pull her from her body.”
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I reached out, with my eyes half shut, not wanting to see

what he was doing to her now. I grabbed her arm and told her to
trust me and pulled her from that tiny little body on the bed.
She came to me, again as though she were flesh and blood,
and I took her in my arms and held her as she sobbed. “I’m here,”
I said softly. “You don’t have to live through that ever again! I will
protect you. I will keep you safe.” Her little body relaxed and I
rocked her, gently. She put her thumb in her mouth and then
rubbed the tears from her eyes with her other fist. God, she was
so little, so precious. Why had he done this?
This was the man that had saved our life when we were
severely burned. This was the man that had joined us on family
picnics and took us out to eat a couple times a month. This was
the man who appeared in one out of every seven photos of my
family during that period of my life. He wasn’t just a neighbor he
was a family friend. How could he hurt her like this?
“Aranon, why did he do this?”
“He had what is called a functional mental illness. For all due
intents and purposes he appeared normal, did his job well, and
took care of his home and himself. It appears that he was
somewhat obsessive compulsive, with the constant need to clean
and be clean. His house was immaculate, the beds made, his
clothing clean and pressed even as he cleaned his basement. It
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appears that the other bed in the room belonged to his wife. Do
you know where she was at this time?”
“I am pretty sure she was dead. He lived alone as long as
my family knew him.”
“We may never know what she died of, but he felt that it was
infectious. A clue might be the fact that he needed to bathe Sissy,
and then sexually molest her to save her from the evils of her
body. There is a chance that his wife died of some sort of sexually
transmitted disease, possibly syphilis, and he was seeking to
save Sissy from the same fate. This seems to fit with his shift in
character and his need to bathe her before he gave her this
lesson in the evils of her body.”
“But maybe he had it and gave it to me?” This scared me
because I knew that it could hide in your body for years before
becoming active.
“You do not have the disease. We would have known. But it
may have been dormant in him. The question is moot, for there is
no way to test him for it.”
“So what was wrong with him?” I asked, still unable to
imagine that this family friend could have done this to me at such
a young age.
“I have no way of knowing without examining him. It appears
that he was very religious, as evidenced by the crucifixes over the
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beds and the religious painting over the dresser. Religious

distortions are a major contributor to mental illness in your society
and can drive otherwise sane individuals to do incomprehensible
things in the name of God and what they believe to be
righteousness. There is no doubt that he was struggling with
emotional and religious distortions. There is also no doubt that he
truly believed that he could somehow save you from what he
believed to be the wickedness of a woman’s sensuality.
Unfortunately, what he actually wound up doing was setting you
up for further abuses, by generating an awareness of your
sexuality and stimulating your body to produce hormones that are
generally not present until puberty. This caused you to have
sexual needs long before it was biologically appropriate.”
“Yes,” I said, “I can see that now. I had the need to rub
myself down there all the time and I masturbated openly from a
very early age.”
“How did your parents respond to that?”
“They ignored behaviors that were strange or embarrassing.
I guess they hoped I would grow out of them.”
“So your provocative behaviors began early, drawing even
more abuse. I am certain that there are more incidents that we will
need to look at. This one though is pivotal. This is the one that
drove a wedge between you and God.”
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“Actually, after this, at about the age of four, I replied, “I

started investigating different churches. I went to different Sunday
school classes with my neighbor friends, and even had my dad
drive me many miles to a Christian Science Church because I felt
unusually comfortable there. Even at that age I was driven to
discover who this God was that was going to toss me into a lake
of fire. I wanted to know what He wanted from me. I wanted to
know how to get on His good side.”
“Yes, I’m sure you did.”
“So how can I look at this and not hate this man that my
whole family loved and trusted; this man that shattered my life
and messed up my sexuality?”
“You tell me,” he said, smiling at me, and then my little three-
year-old self in my arms.
“He was sick, but that’s no excuse. I could see on his face
that he was enjoying himself when he was doing it to me. It
makes me so sick I want to throw up! How could a grown man
enjoy having sex with a screaming three year old?”
“He may have thought that his climax was a gift from God, a
sign that he was doing the right thing.”
“Jesus, Aranon! How sick can one get?”
“That sick,” he said, nodding at the scene still playing out
before us.
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I looked and saw Sissy’s tiny body being ravaged by this

man, and wanted to kill him. Suddenly, Sissy’s little body
disappeared from my arms, and then Lynn appeared beside me.
“This is the day that Sissy died and I was born,” she said, as
a tear slid from her eye. He took her body out and dumped it
behind a bush in the alley. He dumped her there, naked. He
thought she was dead, but I came and I made the heart start
beating, and I made the lungs take a breath. And then I went
home. I went up on the porch, naked. My daddy was watching TV.
I got in his lap. He never said anything about me being naked, he
just held me while he watched a ball game.
“Then Ma, came out to give him a sandwich mommy made
him and saw me, naked and dirty, and she got my mommy and
made her take me into the house and give me a bath, yelling
about my being naked, outside, where everyone could see.”
“Thank you, Lynn, for telling us that,” said Aranon, gently.
“Who was Ma, if not your mother?”
“My Grandma,” she said. “My daddy’s mommy.”
“Did anyone ask you what had happened and where your
clothes were?”
“Just Ma. She always fussed over us. She yelled at mommy
for letting me go outside without any clothes, but mommy said I
was dressed when I went out to play. She asked me where my
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clothes were, but I didn’t know. I was just new then. I didn’t know
this is what happened. Only just now, when I saw, I knew. I knew
this was the day I was borned.”
“I am glad that you were willing to come and share that with
us, Lynn.” Aranon smiled at her, a smile filled with love and
compassion. “Would you be willing to take care of Sissy, and
show her how to look out of Christy’s eyes?”
“Okay,” she said.
“Thank you Lynn, you are such a good girl, and so
responsible. I am very proud of you.”
Lynn beamed, smiling broadly. “I can be really, really good,”
she said. “I will be good to Sissy, and play with her and then we
don’t have to be alone.”
“That would be very, very good of you,” said Aranon. “I think
you should go now and take care of her, so she isn’t all alone.”
“Okay,” replied Lynn, smiling and then... poof, she was gone.
Aranon took my hand and smiled at me. “It’s time to allow
the Meathos to soothe and heal you. Then, we will talk again. You
did well. I am proud of you, Christy. Now, just let the scene fade,
and allow your special angel to come to you and to nurture you.”
I turned and walked away from the scene in the bedroom.
Soon, Meestra met me and gathered me into her arms and took
me to the beautiful city in the etheric, where I could feel her love
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heal me from the sickening pain in my heart and my soul.
I awoke in my bed, Aranon in his chair. He smiled at me as I

opened my eyes and looked at him.
“Can you forgive that sick man?” He asked.
“If I didn’t know he was already dead, I would kill him,” I said.
“And what would that solve?”
“I guess nothing. It happened. I survived, as you are always
so ready to point out. Of course my life has been a living hell, but
who cares.”
“I care, but hate will not end that hell, nor will it open you to
healing. All hate does is poison the hater. The one who is hated
generally doesn’t know or care. If he did know, all it would do is
validate for him that you are tainted, evil, because you cannot see
the love behind what he did.”
“How could that be love?” I said, a little too loudly. I was still
angry and hateful.
“In his mind it was love. In his mind he was saving you from
a fate worse than death. He believed that he was saving you from
eternal damnation.”
“Yeah, but he was nuts!” I said, still shouting my anger.
“Yes, he was. He didn’t know the damage he was doing. He
couldn’t see the wrong in it. He was too sick to see these things.
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He was in deep psychological and spiritual pain. His religion had

twisted him, and he didn’t even know it.”
“I wonder if when he died, God threw him into that lake of
fire?” I said, hoping maybe it was true.
“Maybe, in his consciousness, that was what he
experienced. Maybe, in his consciousness, he was welcomed into
Heaven for the selfless act of liberating you from a sinful life.”
“Huh?”
“People tend to experience what they believe they will
experience after death. At least for a while until they are able to
shrug off the distortions of their previous life. Then they are shown
how their actions affected those with whom they had contact in
that life. Then, they are shown how their actions will one day have
to be balanced by experiences in a subsequent life. He will have
to experience something in his next life or in a future life, that will
place him in a commensurate position, so that he can feel that
pain and that terror and then have to overcome it. It is a Natural
Law. It is called The Law of Reciprocity. The Hippies have a
saying that expresses it nicely. What goes around comes around.
It may not be today, or even in this life, but what you give out,
regardless of your intent, you will get back. Eventually, he too will
have to face that same pain and the same life-shattering events.
Eventually, he may even stand here, where you are, seeking help,
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seeking release. If that occurs, and I am here, I will give him the
same love and respect that I now give to you. Every soul is
worthy. Every individual has the right to healing if they ask for it.”
“So in some other life, someone will hurt him like he hurt
me?”
“Yes.”
“Then that means I hurt someone like this and that I went
through this awful experience in this life because of that?”
“Yes.”
“What did I do? Tell me! I can’t stand the thought that I did
something like this to someone else! It’s awful! How could I ever
do this sort of thing to another human being?”
“You were, most probably, driven by a delusion that made it
right in your mind.”
“Show me! I want to know!”
“If it will help you to forgive him, I will agree to take you back
to what generated this event in this life.”
“If I can see how what I did that caused this, yes, okay, I’ll
forgive him.”
“You will have to reenter the Meathos and ask to be taken to
the life that precipitated this event.”
I immediately got up off the bed and walked into the
Meathos, submerging myself. I knew that he would go and plug
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in. I was interested in getting there, as soon as I could. I called

Meestra and asked her to show me the life in which I had harmed
this man who had harmed me as a child. She agreed to do so.
Suddenly, I was a man standing before a young boy, who
stood naked before me. I was telling him that he would, one day,
come to see the good in what I was about to do. I was praying
that his mind, his consciousness would transcend his body and
connect with the Divine Warrior within him.
After this prayer, I floged this child incessantly, with a whip
made from many thin strips of hardened leather. It was my job to
toughen this child, amongst many male children to become
Spartans, Greek Warriors. Boys were not even accepted into this
training until they could sublimate the pain of this abusive act.
Over a period of days and weeks, I continued to beat this child,
and others to teach them to sublimate the pain. At every
opportunity, I did this, hoping the boy would call upon the gods to
release him from the pain, to open him to the warrior’s strength,
that lay beyond the pain of the body, but he was either unwilling
or unable to do this.
I came to enjoy our times together, even as they terrorized
him. I felt that this terror would force him to make that connection,
but not too soon, as I enjoyed beating him, forcing him to obey,
forcing him to accept his place as a Spartan Warrior. I was
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exhilarated by his pain, and was having the most delicious

emotional releases of my life, at his expense.
I was transported to heavenly places, and emptied of all my
own pain, and the memories of my own painful initiations. I
reveled in his pain! I lost myself in the ecstasy of it, as he
screamed and cried and begged for me to stop! I could feel those
explosions of release, and could feel the intense spirituality of it. It
didn’t sicken me, as I thought it would. It was exciting! It was
wonderful!
Then, the young boy, filled with shame and hatred for
himself at not being able to transcend the pain that I inflicted upon
him, went to the most holy alter within the temple at Delphi and
cut his own throat as an offering to the gods for his inadequacies.
I was devastated, for I loved him more than any of my other
charges. He was not only beautiful and physically pleasing, but he
was me, as I had been in the beginning of my training. For the
rest of my life, I prayed unceasingly for his soul. I prayed that the
gods would give him release and a special place in the land of
transcended souls. I prayed that I would one day meet him again;
to complete our ritual and that this time it would set him free.
As the full force of this memory hit me, I was filled with
shame and self-loathing. I sobbed within the Meathos, feeling
dirty, feeling evil. I could not believe that I had done that! I didn’t
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want to believe that I could have been responsible for such

abuse, such pain, in the name of Spartan training! I didn’t want to
believe that I had enjoyed his pain. I also didn’t want to believe
that this sweet boy who strove to serve Greece, to please me, his
Trainer, was the man who had abused me in this life. I was
stricken with horror and disgust at what I had done to him. I
realized that if this were true, then I was only reaping the Karma,
as the Hippies called it, for my past life behavior. I did this to
myself, by not considering the effect I was having on that poor
little boy. I did this to myself by reveling in his pain, by actually
enjoying the process that would eventually lead to the destruction
of this child. I loathed myself. I felt like garbage. I wanted to die,
right then.
“You were only doing what you were taught to do. You were
only following the tradition of your warrior beliefs.” Said Aranon,
gently. “You didn’t know it was wrong. You had gone through it
yourself. It was a rite of passage. Your delight in his pain was
born out of your own past experiences. You believed that you
obtained your pleasure and release as a gift from the gods for
having transcended your own pain. Abuse was not a concept you
even considered. You were only acting out of what you had been
taught through your own rite of passage. Can you forgive yourself
for what you did to this child, that you loved with all your heart and
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soul?”
“I don’t know,” I said, feeling deeply stricken with self-
loathing and sadness.
“You didn’t know any other life. You didn’t know any other
reality. How could you have conducted yourself differently with
what you thought and believed and imagined to be true at that
time?”
“How could I have enjoyed causing such pain?”
“Because it was a release from your own pain. Can you see
how that would have generated joy in you?”
“I am sickened by what I did. My heart breaks with the
knowing of it.”
“Go back, look at what you thought, what you believed, look
at your own initiations.”
I was swiftly transported back to that life, to the body of a
child being flogged, struggling to accept the pain as strength, to
accept the pain as right and good. I too screamed and cried and
struggled to sublimate the pain by concentrating on becoming a
great warrior; by concentrating on pleasing my trainer, so that I
might become strong by seeing the truth behind life’s painful
experiences. I remembered when it became euphoria. I
remembered how exalting that euphoria became and how
invincible I felt, dreaming of the day when I would march into
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battle and slay my enemies. I dreamed of becoming a

commander, marching a great army to a victory for Greece.
“I could do nothing else,” I said, sadly. “I was trained to do
what I did.”
“Yes.”
“I have to forgive myself. I didn’t know anything else. I was
trapped in a belief system that could have led me nowhere else.”
“Yes.”
“There is no choice. I have to forgive this man of my
childhood too.”
“Yes,” he said, his voice laden with compassion.
“If he truly was that boy, I forgive him. I am sorry for what
happened to him. I am sorry for what happened to me.”
“That’s my girl,” said Aranon, softly. “And as you forgive both
yourself and him you have broken the karmic circle. Never again
will you be drawn together to terrorize one another. Never again
will you abuse one another. In your next encounter, whenever that
may come, you will nurture one another with unconditional love
and give one another a long awaited peace.”
“I hope so.”
“And so it shall be,” replied Aranon. “Because of your
willingness to look, to understand and in the honesty of
unconditional love, to forgive; you have decreased the cycle of
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abuse by two worthy souls, maybe even more. For as you forgive,
and allow love for this one to enter your soul, you release others
who were caught up in that cycle of pain and abuse as well. Just
imagine the possibility that you have set a thousand souls free
today, with your forgiveness of just one confused and misguided
soul. It is your destiny to release souls from their pain; by
releasing your own pain and forgiving those who generated it; as
the result of your interactions with them in your present and past
lives. You and many like you can free the Earth from its dark
destiny, with just the willingness to forgive. I applaud you, and all
the others who may come here for understanding and release. It
is through the willingness of each of you; to connect with your
past, with your part in it and then through the healing power of
unconditional love, to forgive; that your Earth will survive.”
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Twenty-Seven
After a good night’s sleep and breakfast, Aranon

suggested that we go to the beach. At first I was taken aback, and
then the idea became exciting. We went to supply and got suits
and towels and then went to Top Side where Aranon obtained a
vehicle we could use to get to the beach, which was about 30
miles from the Top Side dome.
“What kind of fuel does this car take?” I asked. It looked like
a Jeep, but it road like a Rolls Royce.
“It contains a specialized synthesizer that produces a clean
hydrogen based energy, as it is needed. There is a battery, of
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sorts, that charges as the vehicle is being used, which starts the
production of the fuel when one turns on the engine and then the
fuel continues to regenerate, as long as the vehicle is running. It
never needs refueling, although the battery may need to be
replaced about every three years.”
“I sure wish they had cars like this on my planet.”
“Unfortunately, the way your planet’s economy is set up,
getting a vehicle like this introduced into the mass market would
be about as easy as teaching a pig to sing.” He swerved to miss
an animal on the dirt roadway.
“I am surprised at how well it handles and how comfortable
the ride is.”
“Well, I suppose that in terms of what you are used to, it
probably does feel pretty comfortable. It has independent four-
wheel drive, rack and pinion steering and each wheel has an
independent suspension system. Back when this vehicle was
made, there were no roads, not even graded dirt roads. The
vehicle can also support it’s own atmosphere, because back then,
there was very little atmosphere within the planets biosphere, so
all vehicles had to have their own atmospheric generators in order
for workers and scientists to travel from dome to dome without the
need to get into pressure suits. There is probably still a pressure
suite pack in the back. All vehicles had to carry them just in case
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of emergencies.”
“How can we change the way things are done on my planet,
so that we can save the atmosphere and the water?”
“That’s a good question. We are still trying to find ways to do
that without causing the collapse of your world economy. At this
time almost all of the nations on your planet depend heavily on
fossil fuels, and the ones who control those fossil fuels have a
great deal of power to maintain things the way they are.”
“So are you saying that it would take either an act of God, or
the destruction of our society as we know it to discontinue our
society’s dependence on fossil fuel?”
“That is a possibility. The problem lies in your system of
economy, based on money, drawn on the availability of precious
metals and gems. The struggle to control the energy resources of
society is based upon wealth and the political power that comes
from that wealth. This type of setup invariably leads to the control
of the few, over the needs of the many.”
“So how can we do away with money? I mean everyone
deserves an honest wage for honest work?”
“Credit for ones creativity and productivity need not be based
upon a medium of exchange, such as rare metals and gems, or
the availability of fossil fuel. Individuals could receive credit for
creative and productive activities based upon their efforts alone. I
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suppose that it could be called the barter system, but it is more

than that.”
“So how would it work?”
“An individual does a job. He is the one who decides what
his job is worth, in the way of credit. If he places too high a value
on his efforts, he will probably not acquire many takers, unless his
talent is rare or extraordinary. Those who do decide that his talent
or his capabilities are worth the price will trade their own earned
credits as a medium for exchange in obtaining whatever that
individual produces or is able to deliver in the way of services.
Credits will be based solely on one’s capacity to produce goods or
services.”
“But that is money, isn’t it?”
“No, it is credit for ones efforts, one’s productivity. It is not
based on substances that are cashed somewhere in a vault, or
upon a product, such as oil, that many need, but is horded by a
few to maintain power over the needs of the many. It is truly an
honest wage for honest work. The individual can save up his
credits and purchase goods and services with them, just as your
society saves money, but credits will be based solely upon what
one does, not on what one has.”
“It sounds like money to me.”
“That is the sticking point. It is difficult for your society to
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comprehend a world without money and the power that it builds in

the lives of some and the dependency that it generates in the
lives of others. In the credit-based economy, it is not what you
have, but rather, what you are willing to do that counts. Yes,
certain individuals will amass a great deal of credits, by what they
do, but those credits belong to only that individual, and are not
transferable to another without an exchange of services, even in
death. Everything that one accrues as the result of their efforts is
returned to the general availability upon their death.”
“But what about the wives and children of those who have
accumulated a lot during their life. What happens to them?”
“Children are always taken care of, and those who are
unable to produce, either because of a physical or a mental
disability are also taken care of until they have been trained to
provide a service that they are capable of offering or have
developed skills that deserve personal credit.”
“But how will family’s stay together in the face of the death of
the so called bread winner?”
“The society will be one’s family. The nuclear family, as you
know it, is a flawed concept. It does provide a modicum of support
and continuity in your society, but with that support and continuity
comes a great deal of distortion that actually injures individuals as
well as promotes the amplification of those distortions for
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generations to come. The real shift in your society, as far as a fair

and impartial system is concerned, will come when all children are
raised in centers dedicated to protecting and serving them, by
those who have dedicated their lives to the care and welfare of
children. This will require a total shift in thinking concerning heirs
and ownership. You see, children need consistency, and the
constant availability of love and attention. This is not to say that
parents will have no say in the upbringing of their children. It just
means that children will obtain a balanced and contiguous
availability of guidance and support during their formative years.
Parents would be encouraged to participate in this process, but
are relieved of the responsibilities of the day-to-day process of
child rearing.
“Without the possibility for personal gain, through the
accruing of funds without individual productivity, either by
inheritance or theft, society will change radically. There will be no
more power barons, or idle rich. There will be no children roaming
the streets, seeking opportunities though which to take advantage
of others for the purposes of personal gain and power. Children
would be taught a curriculum of subjects, voted upon by
concerned parents that would reflect the combined philosophy of
the masses. They would also receive continuous guidance and
support, in spite of the capacity or the incapacity of the parents to
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provide housing, education and emotional support for them. They

would never be left to their own devices, forming gangs and
creating havoc, for they would always have a structured
environment and individuals to turn to who are skilled in meeting
their emotional, psychological and intellectual needs for
stimulation and support.”
“I don’t think that would go over well with many of the people
in my society. There are too many people who don’t like anything
the government does, and if the government tried to take away
their children, you would have a civil war.”
“Yes, I know. The power mongers, the religious fanatics,
those who need to control the lives and the minds of others,
especially children, to propagate their unique and revered
traditions. Unfortunately, much of the crime and many of the
psychological disturbances in your society can be traced to those
philosophies and religions that seek to control the hearts and
minds of the masses. They fear any concepts that are based
upon the development of a one-world government and of a
spiritually ecumenical society. These are the nationalists, the
religionists who are led by those who value power and control
over the needs of the many for the values of the few. These are
the individuals who would make all subservient to their distorted
perceptions of justice, God and the value of the individual. They
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have a lot of power on your world.”

“So how can that be changed?”
“Through a process of education and guidance that values
each individual, and their right to be autonomous, self supporting
and self directed. The society that you come from is leaning in this
direction, but is hampered by strong factions, made up of
individuals who are led by and educated by these factions. This
power struggle cannot come to an end until the majority can see
the fallacies inherent in these factions.”
“But they think they are right! They think that society should
be based upon religious principles; upon the ideals and the ethics,
that they believe were ordained by God. Much of what they say
speaks to the hearts of many people.”
“Then those principles and philosophies will prevail. In a
society where each individual has a say, those beliefs and
customs that speak to the heart of the many will become the
agreed upon format for all to follow.”
“But they believe that the education of the children should be
left in the hands of the parents and the churches.”
“If this was the consensus of the many, than this would
become the accepted norm. Unfortunately, in your society, the
choices of the many are dependent upon the power of a few. This
power is not determined by the masses, but by the financial and
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physical resources of those who would control them. Often it is

determined by whoever has the biggest, most powerful weapons.
And what do the children learn? That might makes right, that
forcing others to obey, through coercion, depravation and the
threat of physical harm is the appropriate way to maintain control
and to impose one’s philosophy on those who are not in
agreement. Where is God? This God of love who accepts all and
denies no one?”
“But the concept of God varies amongst the many factions.
Some don’t believe that God accepts everyone. Some think that if
you are gay, or if you don’t believe in Jesus, then you are not
worthy of God’s love, that you are damned.”
“And are those who believe this in the majority?”
“Probably not, or we would live in a religious state.”
“And yet these individuals with their beliefs and practices are
responsible for raising thousands of children, who have no say in
your society. These children are responsible for nearly a third of
the crime and almost a quarter of the cases of mental illness and
child abuse in your country alone. What does that say to you?”
“That they are not very good at raising kids?”
“Or that their viewpoint is often toxic and destructive.”
“Okay, but how do you propose that we remedy that without
becoming a police state? Without taking away the right of all to
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pursue life on their own terms?”

“By first doing away with your monetary system, and then by
establishing a form of government that is truly designed and
implemented by the majority, and not just by those who have the
financial superiority to control the decisions.”
“No one is going to go for that. My society is too dependent
on money and it’s power to provide the grease that makes the
wheels turn.”
“Yes, that is the problem. They only way that your society
can hope to survive is through the dissolution of money and then
a grass roots development of a society based on the communal
rearing of children by individuals who have dedicated their lives to
fulfilling their needs and insuring that all have the same
opportunities in life, according to their willingness and
capabilities.”
“But what about the disabled, the retarded, the emotionally
disturbed?”
“Even their opportunities are determined by their willingness
to work, to be of service and to recover. They do not have to
produce as though they had a college degree. Nevertheless, they
too can deliver specific commodities and services and assist
others. There is no doubt that an individual who feels that they are
helping, that they are doing something worthwhile, that others
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need, is healthier, happier and more emotionally secure. Those

who have nothing to do, and are barred from so-called normal
pursuits because they are deemed incapable of normal,
productive lives due to their disabilities tend to fair rather poorly.
Of course, those who are incapable of surviving without constant
care and assistance will be cared for. An enlightened society
always cares for those who cannot care for themselves. But the
truth is, those societies that provide equal opportunities and
advantages for all, have less incidences of disability and
dependency than those that do not.”
“Well I only have your word for that. But let me ask you this,
what about Archana? They have families. They raise their own
kids.”
“First of all, Archana is a psychically communal society, in
spite of their practice of raising their children in nuclear family
structures. Their children are guided and reared by the
Sensarians, and given added support and love by the extended
family of clans and social organizations. They are never without
guidance as children, and are always taught that they have
futures filled with unlimited possibilities. The Meathos also plays
an important part in expanding their horizons and fostering their
openness to change and diversity. If it were possible to base all
societies on the unique structure of Archanian society, then all
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societies would hold the same promise of being as balanced and

open as theirs.”
“So what are the chances of my race surviving into the next
century?” This was back in 1967, mind you.
“Fairly good. The major effects of global warming, brought
on by pollution, will not really generate any major problems until
close to the mid twenty-first century. Even that may be forestalled,
due to our efforts at shifting the social consciousness. It all
depends upon the willingness of the masses to stand up for their
individual integrity and to care for and properly educate the
children. Nevertheless, as long as your planet and it’s races
remain factional, governed by the ideologies of nationalism,
racism and religious seperativeness, each faction vying for power
and control over the masses, it is in jeopardy of international
lawlessness, terrorism and finally self destruction.”
“Not a very pretty picture,” I said, feeling a deep sadness for
my home planet, Earth.
“That is why we need people like you, people who have
overcome personally destructive patterns of thinking and living,
people who have risen above their personal losses and
tribulations and have dedicated themselves to assisting others in
doing the same. We need healers and teachers and sages who
are willing to live according to natural law, and assist others in
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doing likewise. We need individuals who are willing to judge no

one, and yet are willing to be judged by their peers, according to
the fruits of their lives and still maintain inner harmony and
express unconditional love and acceptance to all who would judge
them.”
“What you need is an army of Gandhi’s.”
“Close,” he said. “What we need is an army of individuals
who are so secure in themselves that they do not need to use
others to insure their security. A group of individuals who
understand the power of unconditional love and acceptance, who
recognize the Spiritual Force that underlies all things as being
unconcerned with race, or with nationality, or with dogma, but is
none the less fully involved with the evolution of life, rewarding
productivity as well as the willingness to share all gains equally. “
“But you are working on that, right?”
“In as much as those with whom we work are willing to shift
their thinking and their lifestyles to reflect these things in their
lives, yes.”
“But you are having some success, right? I mean, otherwise
you would have given up long ago.”
“Yes, we are having some success. More now in your
present time than in the past decade, for conditions on your world
are becoming more obvious, even to those who in the past
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refused to acknowledge the signs of a future filled with

environmental dissolution and racial genocide.”
“So there is hope?”
“Yes, there is hope.”
Finally, we came over a rise and the seashore spread out

before us. There before us lay a white sandy beach with breakers
flowing in, smashing against the rocky faces of cliffs and a barrier
reef that protected the calm waters and the glittering sands of a
natural cove. Birds soared over the waves, in search of a meal,
and silver edged fluffy white clouds scudded across a violet blue
sky. It was breathtakingly beautiful.
Aranon parked the vehicle on a rise above the shoreline and
we carried the provisions he had packed in the back of the vehicle
down to the shore. After a couple of trips we had set up a folding
picnic table for lunch and loaded it with cold boxes of food and
drinks, laid out a blanket for basking in the sun, and brought down
a box of toys for my inner family of kids to play with while enjoying
the surf, the sand and the sun.
“You can put your suit on in the vehicle if you like,” he said;
as he removed his already sand laden shoes.
I went back to the vehicle and changed into the one-piece
bathing suit that Lynn insisted that we choose. It was more like an
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exercise suit. It covered us from neck to mid-thigh, with short

sleeves on the arms and shorts on the upper legs, but yet one
piece. It was made out of something very stretchy and yet had a
tight fit when on, so that we could get into it easily and yet would
not slip off when waterlogged. After dressing in the suit, we
grabbed a towel and walked back down to the beach barefooted,
enjoying the feeing of the sand between our toes.
“Can I go into the water?” I asked, dropping my towel on the
blanket.
“That’s what we came here for.” Aranon smiled and sat down
on the blanket. At some point while I was changing, he had
changed into his suit as well. This time he was wearing bright
yellow trunks that set off his tawny skin and golden eyes, eyes
that sparkled in the light of the two suns.
“There aren’t any denizens of the deep that I need to be
worried about here, is there?”
“Not today. I’ve sent them all away.” He flashed me an
impish grin.
I laughed at his flip answer and his silly grin as I stepped into
the gentle surf. Then I thought about it and wondered if he was
just being funny or if he actually had arranged for this cove to be
made safe, just for me, just for today. I looked back at him, sitting
on the colorful red and blue plaid blanket and he waved at me,
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still grinning.
As I walked into the water I was immediately struck by the
fact that it was warm. I was reminded of the time I had gone with
my parents to visit my grandparents in Florida. The surf was warm
there too, even on that January day. I remembered sitting down in
the surf, just letting the waves wash over me, feeling warmed by
them. I repeated this now; sitting down in the surf and once again
allowing the waves wash over me.
As I sat there I continued to remember that trip to Florida,
through the Southern states and the disparity of lifestyles between
the whites and the blacks. The blacks often lived in ramshackle
shacks, their children playing in the muddy, unpaved streets, half
dressed, usually barefoot even in January. Not far away were
large manor houses, and plantations with ornate rod iron fences
and statues of little black boys holding up lanterns on the
expansive lawns. I remembered how when we stopped to eat at a
restaurant, there were sections for blacks and sections for whites,
restrooms for blacks and whites, and even drinking fountains for
blacks and whites. This was back in 1962, before the process of
social integration between blacks and whites had begun.
I wondered if there was any hope for my planet, fraught with
racial strife, bigotry and separatism. A planet where a war was
almost always in progress, and where human beings did the most
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despicable things to one another in the name of God or

nationalism. A planet rife with social oppression, crime and
violence. Could the answer be as easy as doing away with
money and taking better care of our children?
Suddenly, I was aware of Lynn, wanting to play, asking me
to retrieve a toy from the box beside the blanket where Aranon
sat. I got up and walked back to the blanket and pawed through
the inflatable toys until Lynn found the one she wanted. Then, I
sat down beside Aranon to blow up the huge beach ball she had
chosen.
“Here,” he said, as I struggled to blow up the ball, “let me do
that.”
He took the ball from me and had it blown up in less time
than it had taken for me to find it. He handed it to me.
“Is this for you, or did one of the others ask for it?” He
queried.
“Lynn wanted it,” I replied.
“Lynn, come here,” he said, and I felt myself slip back as
Lynn took center stage.
She smiled at him, as she took over the body. “Will you play
with me?” she asked, batting her eyes seductively, although her
demeanor was playful, not sexual.
“Sure,” replied Aranon. “What would you like me to do?”
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“Catch the ball!” She shouted, while on the run, tossing the
ball at him.
He caught the ball and tossed it back to her and she fumbled
it. It flowed toward him on the surf and he retrieved it.
“You’ll have to do better than that if we are going to play
catch,” he laughed, tossing the ball back to her.
She came to a stop, and then became ridged as she stood in
the surf; watching the ball come toward her and then bouncing off
of her, being once again carried back to Aranon on the surf. He
realized at once that a trigger had been tripped and he was either
going to have to deal with it now or find a way to shift the focus so
that we could continue to enjoy this day at the beach.
“Lynn, maybe we need to find a different toy. This big ball
seems to be too hard for you to catch.” He reached into the box
and pulled out a plastic pail and a plastic shovel. “How about we
build a sand castle?”
Lynn stood there, ridged for a moment, and then started
walking toward him. “Okay,” she agreed, seemingly unaware of
her momentary episode.
For about an hour, Aranon and Lynn built a sand castle of
elaborate dimensions, with towers and turrets and even a mote.
“Wow!” Said Lynn, pouring a final bucket of water into the
mote that surrounded their fantastic castle. “This is really neat!
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Thanks for helping me make it.”

“It was fun!” Said Aranon, grinning at their handiwork.
“Too bad it’s not a real castle, where we could go and visit a
real king and his knights,” lamented Lynn.
“Oh you probably wouldn’t like it much,” posed Aranon.
“Castles were very cold and dank, dark and gloomy. They didn’t
have electricity and there was no heat and cold breezes blew
through them all the time that would chill you to the bone.”
“But kings lived in them and knights and even fair damsels,”
countered Lynn, her lower lip protruding in a pout.
“Which would you rather be?” He asked. “A king, a knight or
a fair damsel?”
“A knight.”
“Why is that? Knights had to wear all that heavy armor. It
was probably hot and uncomfortable.”
“Because knights slayed dragons and protected the king and
saved the fair damsels.”
“Ah, well, that certainly explains it. Obviously you are not the
type to sit on a throne all day and tell people what to do, or the
type who would sit and do needle point and be waited on hand
and foot. No, you are the type who wants to clear the way for
others, to help and to protect, and to champion the cause of her
king. You must have a very brave heart.”
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“I do,” she said, puffing out her chest and basking in his
approval.
“Yes, I believe you do, little one. What would you like to do
next?”
“I wan’a go swimming.”
“Okay, lets do that.”
For the next half hour or so, Aranon and Lynn played in the
ocean, swimming in races and playing tag. Then Aranon could
see that she was getting tired, and suggested that they take a
rest. She was slow to agree, begging for one more game of tag,
just a few more minutes, and then when Aranon gently insisted,
she inched her way from the water, savoring every wave as she
did so, finally going to the blanket and tossing herself down like a
dejected child.
“I’m hungry,” she said finally, after getting over her pouting.
“Well, that’s good, because we have a lot of food here that
will just go to waist if someone doesn’t eat it.” He got up and
unpacked the sandwiches that he had brought in the cold chest.
He handed her one.
She looked it over, tipping up the edge of the bread to see
what was in it. “Oh goody! Tuna fish!” She took a bite and then
made a face. “It doesn’t taste like tuna fish.”
“That’s because it’s chicken salad,” laughed Aranon, taking a
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bite of his own sandwich. “Um, good!”

“I guess it’s okay,” she said, polishing off two of the
sandwiches before finally falling asleep.
“Sissy,” said Aranon softly, after the body had rested for
nearly an hour. “Would you like to come out and play in the
ocean?”
Our eyes opened, and Sissy looked up at him, unsure. She
immediately thrust her thumb in her mouth. Aranon didn’t push
her, but rather sat a few feet from her waiting. Finally, she got up
and looked out at the sea, at the waves rolling in and then finally
tottered to the edge, watching the waves come in and shrieking
and laughing as the water lapped at her toes.
Aranon joined her at the waters edge, emulating her little
dance with the waves, emulating her shrieks and giggles, as she
stood daring the waves to tickle her toes. This went on for about
twenty minutes and then she got brave enough to sit in the surf.
Aranon joined her in that too, not touching her, but accompanying
her as she sat in the surf, laughing as the waves roared in and
broke over her body, momentarily covering her and then swiftly
draining away. Finally, she edged toward him, tired but unwilling
to give up this new experience. Then, she climbed into his lap,
and thrust her thumb in her mouth once again. She laid her head
on his bare chest and closed her eyes, the waves still rushing
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over them. After a few minutes Aranon lifted her up and took her
back to the blanket, where she slept until I awoke.
“Did we have fun?” I asked, sitting up.
“We did.” He grinned.
By this time the brightest sun had set and the lesser one was
near the horizon, coloring the sky with deep purples and
florescent pinks. The sea took on an eerie quality, as the naturally
phosphorescent plant life in it presented an unusual glow that
shifted and changed as the waves rolled in. I wanted to stay
forever, but finally, Aranon requested my help in repacking all the
stuff and putting it back into the vehicle. When we left, one of the
moons had risen, and the sea was glowing brightly in pastel
colors. It had been a wonderful day for all of us.
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Twenty-Eight
“Do you remember anything after Lynn came forward while

we were at the beach?” Asked Aranon, once we had returned to
my room.
“I remember you and Lynn building a huge sand castle.”
“Anything else?”
“Um, nope,” I replied, trying to remember. “Not until I woke
up on the blanket, and it was getting dark. I remember packing
the car and coming home, but I think I fell asleep again on the
way back.”
“Yes,” he said, “you were very quiet on the way back. I
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assumed you were tired.”

“So what else did you and Lynn do?”
“We played in the surf, and then she got tired and Sissy
came to play with me.”
“What did you and Sissy do?”
“We stood at the edge of the water and danced away from
the waves as they flowed in and laughed. Can you see it? Maybe
just a fuzzy memory?”
I concentrated on what he had said and got a fleeting
impression of waves tickling my toes and of dancing backwards,
away from the water, laughing. “Maybe. Just a fuzzy memory of
trying to keep the waves from getting to my toes.”
“Good.” He smiled. “Tomorrow I will need to work with Lynn.
Is that all right with you?”
“Okay.”
“She was triggered by the beach ball. Do you know why that
might be?”
The memory hit me like a fist in my stomach. “I sort’a
remember a thing with a beach ball,” I said, feeling a little
disoriented by the vision. It was at a Boy Scout Jamboree in the
forest North of Chicago I think.”
“What do you remember?”
“I lost a beach ball that I had borrowed from a man. It rolled
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into the river and floated away. It used to haunt me all the time for
a while.”
“Why do you think that is?”
“Because it belonged to someone else and I was unable to
return it. I don’t know, the whole thing scared me pretty bad and I
had nightmares about it for a long time.”
“Okay, well as you think about it, it will help Lynn to connect
to it and may make things go a little faster tomorrow.” He paused
and seemed to be thinking. “I need to get a few things done now,”
he said, finally. “So I think it would be a good idea for you to eat
and then get some more rest. Tomorrow may be a little difficult.”
“Okay.”
Aranon gave me a pat on the shoulder and then got up and
left the room. I went to the com-link and brought up a TV program
and then asked the synthesizer for a dinner of fried chicken and
potato salad. I sat down at the console and ate while I watched
Laugh In. After that I watched the movie, North by Northwest,
starring Cary Grant. Then I went to bed.
“Lynn,” said Aranon, “come here.”

Lynn awoke and rubbed the sleep out of her eyes. “What do
you want?” she asked, still sleepy.
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“How about breakfast,” he said, smiling down at her. “What

would you like?”
“French Toast.”
“French Toast comin’ up,” he said programming the
synthesizer.
“How does that thing work?” She asked, getting out of bed.
“It’s hard to explain, but it knows lots of different dishes, but
has to be properly programmed, told, so that it can make them.”
The synthesizer buzzed to let them know it had completed
the request, and Aranon pulled out a dish, piled with two pieces of
French Toast, complete with butter, powdered sugar and a side of
maple syrup. He placed the plate on the table in front of Lynn.
“Wow!” She said, her mouth watering. “That looks really
good!” She ate the entire plate of food, and even licked the left
over syrup off the plate.
After she had finished and completed some personal care
chores, Aranon led her to the conversation area and sat down
with her.
“I need you to tell me about another memory you have,” he
said.
“Oh no,” she said.
“Oh no?” Aranon said with a concerned look on his face.
“The last time you asked me to do that I had to go to a very
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bad place. I don’t want to do that again.” She pulled a long face
and folded her arms across her chest.
“But you are more responsible now and you know that I am
not asking you this to hurt you. You know that I am here to help
you, Christy, and even Sissy. In order to help you I have to know
what happened that hurt you so bad. I know it hurts to look at it,
but it also helps too.”
“I don’t like it!” She said, tears forming in her eyes.
“I know,” he said, patting her knee. “But you wanted to be a
knight and slay dragons, protect the king and save the fair
maiden. When you go back and face these memories, it’s like
being a knight and slaying the dragon. I need to you to help me to
slay a dragon, so that all of you can be free of its fiery breath. Will
you help me?”
“I don’t like it,” she repeated.
“Even knights must have been scared, don’t you think?”
“I don’t know,” she said, her lower lip quivering.
“It takes a lot of courage to go up to a great big dragon,
breathing fire and roaring at you. I’ll be your magic sword that can
talk and tell you how to slay that dragon and not get burned by it. I
will be right there with you, helping you.”
“Okay,” she said, her voice cracking with the emotion of her
fear. “But it better not get me!”
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“No, I won’t let it. I will protect you. I’ll be your magic sword.”
“Okay.” Her face still showed fear, but she was willing to fight
the dragon, with Aranon as her sword.
“Tell me about the beach ball that you borrowed at the Boy
Scout Jamboree.”
That was all he had to say, and her eyes began to flicker
with rapid eye movement, as the memory rose from the depths of
her memory and then it crashed into the now, and Lynn began to
cry, “No! No!”
“How old are you?” He asked, gently.
“Four.”
“Tell me about the beach ball.”
“ I gotted it from a man.”
“Tell me about the man.”
“He was in a teepee. He was resting. There was a pretty
beach ball outside the door. I asked him if I could play with it.”
“What did he say?”
“He says it b’longs to his kids. He says he would have to ask
them.”
“I begged him, please, please, please. Then he said yes, but
not to take it near the river. He said if I tooked it to the river and
lost it he would spank me. He made me promise I wouldn’t. I said
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I promise, and then he said okay.”

“I tooked it and went to find someone to play with.”
“And did you find someone to play with?”
“I heard kids playing in the woods, so I went that way. There
were boys playing there but they were big boys.”
“And did they play with you?”
“They were mean and tooked the ball from me and played
keep away.”
“Tell me how keep away is played.”
“Big kids play it with little kids. They take something away
from a little kid and then toss it to each other, so the little kid can’t
get it.”
“I’ll bet that made you pretty mad, huh?”
“I was crying and telling them that it wasn’t my ball and to
give it back.”
“Did they give it back?”
“They threw it away, down the hill, and I chased it but it went
into the river and I couldn’t get it. I tried, but it floated away. I was
so scared. That man was gonna spank me. I was crying. Then
those boys came back and they hurted me.”
“How did they hurt you?”
“They tooked off my clothes and touched me in my evil place
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and I couldn’t stop them. God is gonna put me in the lake of fire!”
She started to sob.
“I gotted my clothes on and runned to find my daddy to tell
him about the ball so he wouldn’t let the man spank me.”
“Did you find your daddy?”
“He was playing baseball. I was crying and he told me to go
away. He said he didn’t want to hear about it and to go find my
mommy.”
“Did you find your mommy?”
“She was in a big teepee, talking to other mommies, and told
me to find my daddy. I was scared so I went to our car and got in
the back seat and hided.”
“Mommy and daddy and my brother camed back to the car
and finded me, and my daddy was really mad at me. He yelled at
me and I gotted really scared and cried and cried. My daddy said
he would take me to a orphanage and leave me there. He tried to
hit me but mommy wouldn’t let him. I cried all the way home and
wished I was dead, so that it would all be over and I would be in
the lake of fire. I wanted to be there more than with mommy and
daddy.”
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“We gotted home and mommy put me to bed. I told her what
happened, but she said not to worry about it. But I had bad
dreams. I had bad dreams forever.”
“Thank you Lynn for telling me that. Now, we are going to
slay that dragon.”
He reached out and picked her up and carried her into the
Meathos, joining her there. With the help of the Meathos, he and
Lynn slew a giant dragon with a beach ball in its claws.
We were still in the Meathos pool when Aranon called me

forward and had me re-experience the incident with the beach
ball. I had never been consciously aware of the sexual abuse
aspect of the incident and wondered about that.
“Why didn’t I remember that part?” I asked.
“Because Lynn is the one who held that memory.”
“I remember my dad saying that he was glad I wasn’t twins
and threatening to take me to the nearest orphanage and leave
me there. I remember him reaching over the seat to try to hit me,
and my mom stopping him. I remember wanting to die. That was
the first time that I ever really wanted to die.”
“So now you know why,” he said. “I am seeing a pattern
here. Are you able to see it?”
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“That I keep getting sexually abused?”

“Yes, there’s that too and it does tie in to the pattern that I
am seeing. What else?”
“I think I can see that my parents, for the most part, were
indifferent to my emotional difficulties.”
“That probably plays a part in the spitting of your personality,
but it’s not what I am focusing on here. There is an object that
keeps coming up. A physical object.”
“Oh yeah,” I said, feeling stupid. “The ball!”
“That’s my girl! And I suspect that there is at least one more
traumatic incident in your life involving a ball. Maybe you can think
of it, n o w.” He emphasized the word now as being almost a
command, and that seemed to trigger yet another memory.
“I do remember something,” I responded as the images
began to form in my mind.
“Tell me about it.”
“My brother and I were going to a parochial school, and it
was a very small school. There were only four classrooms, and in
my class there were students from the fifth, sixth, seventh and
eighth grades all in the same room, with the same teacher. My
brother was in the same classroom with me. He was in the eighth
grade while I was in the sixth. We were all playing outside at
recess time. The grounds were being irrigated, so we had to play
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on just the sidewalks.”

“Explain irrigated,” interjected Aranon.
“The lawns were sunken, with a raised berm around them so
that they could be flooded with water. This was a way that many
people back then watered their lawns to keep them green.
Anyway, the play yard was filled with about a foot of water.
“I asked the teacher for a volley ball to play with and he gave
it to me. Then, while I was bouncing it, it went off the sidewalk and
fell into the water. This happened right next to a conduit that ran
under the sidewalk, which carried the water from one side of the
yard to the other. It was flowing toward the conduit really fast and
I was unable to grab the ball before it was sucked into the
conduit.”
“That must have been scary for you,” remarked Aranon. “I
think it would be a good idea if I went and plugged into the
Meathos, for this, okay?”
“Okay,” I said. He got up from beside me in the pool and
went to his interface console. I could feel him plug in this time.
“Continue,” he said, gently through the connection.
“I was scared, because I was afraid of what the teacher
would do to me if I lost the ball in that conduit. I kept saying to
myself, please, God, let it come out the other side. Please, God,
please! Finally, as I stood waiting on the other side of the
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sidewalk where the water was rushing out of the conduit, the ball
not only came out, but popped up into the air where I could catch
it without even getting wet. It was like God not only answered my
prayer, but also actually tossed the ball right into my waiting
hands!
“I was excited by this and went and got the teacher, saying
he had to see this, that it was really neat. He came over and
watched as I put the ball back into the inflow side of the conduit.
As I did this, he began to yell at me to stop. But I did it anyway.
Then I ran to the other side of the sidewalk and stood waiting,
with my hands ready to catch the ball. It then popped out and I
caught it. Isn’t that neat? I asked him, but he was angry. He told
me that if he saw me do that again, he would spank me.
“But I did it again anyway, right then and there. I guess I was
daring him. I guess I thought he was just being silly, because God
would make it pop out, and It did pop out. Immediately, he
grabbed the ball from me and told me to go into the classroom
and wait for him. I did, and all the while my heart was pounding.
Finally he came in, but he didn’t do anything. In fact, he pretty
much ignored me. Then the class came back and school resumed
and not another word was said.”
“Were you relieved?”
“You’d think I would be, but no. His complete dismissal of the
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whole incident seemed to fester in me. I became more and more

out of control after that. I would do really crazy stuff in class, like
act like a baby, suck my thumb, take crayons and go around the
room marking on everyone’s school work, and push their books
and papers on the floor. Every day my behavior became more
and more bizarre.”
“Why do you think that was?” Asked Aranon.
“I’m not sure, but I think I really wanted him to spank me and
when he didn’t, I just went nuts.”
“Think about it. Why would that spanking mean so much to
you?”
“Because I didn’t get a spanking from the man at the
Jamboree, and I felt terribly guilty for loosing that ball, and even
had nightmares about it floating down the river out of my reach,
that continued even up until that time in the parochial school.”
“Possibly, but I think there is more to it than that.” He paused
for a moment, waiting for me to continue, but I didn’t. “So how did
your teacher deal with your behavior?” He asked, finally.
“He didn’t do anything for the longest time. I think my brother
was embarrassed to be in the same class with me, even though
he was the class favorite.”
“What did he do? Did he tell your parents about your bizarre
behavior?”
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“I don’t think so.”

“Did the teacher speak to your parents about it?”
“I don’t think so. My parents never asked me about it.”
“So what happened? You just kept acting bizarre?”
“Well, finally the whole class got up one day and walked out
of the classroom, demanding that he do something about me, and
threatening to not return to class until he did.”
“That must have been a shock to him. So, what did he do?”
“He talked to me, and showed me the belt he used to spank
bad kids, and he talked to me in baseball terms, about having
dropped the ball and how I needed to get on the ball and stuff like
that.”
“Retriggering your past abuse memories, and assisting you
in establishing an obsession about needing to be spanked.”
“Wow! That’s how that all got started, huh?”
“Could be. It’s certainly an important link in the chain. It is
those previous traumas involving a ball that gave it so much
power. And don’t forget the God component. A parochial school is
generally a school that is provided by a church or religious
organization, is that not right?”
“Yeah, and we had to go to church every day and study the
Bible and the Catechism. That’s a book of rules for the church.”
“How did that affect you? Did you like going to church and
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studying about God?”

“Yeah, I did,” I answered, and then thought about it. “But
then there was stuff that scared me too.”
“Like what?”
“Well, we were taught that we had to fear and love God, and
I was already scared of God, and what he would do to me when I
die. It is really hard to love something that you are scared of.
Mostly, I just pretended to love God, because I didn’t know how to
be scared of Him and love Him too.”
“Uh huh. I would imagine that would have been difficult for a
lot of people, not just you.”
“I remember when we were studying the Ten
Commandments, and we were on the seventh commandment,
which says; Thou shalt not commit adultery. I didn’t know what
adultery was so I asked my mom. She told me that was like when
I went with those teenage boys. That really had me scared.”
“Was that before or after the incident with the ball?” Asked
Aranon.
“I don’t know,” I replied honestly.
“Lets find out. I’ll ask the Meathos to show us.”
At this point I had the sensation of wind in my face, and I
saw a series of quick snippets of experiences from that time.
Finally, I was watching the incident of talking with my mom about
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it, feeling the cold fear that ran through me when she told me it
was like what I did with those boys, and then I was laying on my
bed with that ache in my belly, like the one that always seems to
precede one of my episodes. Then there was the wind again and
then the incident with the ball.
“It happened before the incident with the ball,” said Aranon,
finally. “That means that you were already dealing with the guilt
from that experience when you were eight, as well as all the
painful feelings that surrounded it. Why do you think the incident
with the ball in sixth grade had such an impact on you in light of
what you have discovered?”
“Because I was feeling guilty, for what I did when I was
eight?” I asked, not really sure what he wanted me to say.
“Yes,” he acknowledged. “But there is more to it than that.
Can you think of what more there might be?”
“I don’t know.”
“Lets go back to when your mother revealed her feelings
about what happened to you at eight. When she told you that you
were an adulterer.”
“Okay,” I said, not knowing what to expect.
Suddenly, I was rolled in a ball on my bed, my stomach was
on fire and I felt like I would die. I wanted to be free of this fear. I
was thinking that if someone would just punish me, punish me
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really good for that sin, I would be set free of this guilt and God
would love me again.
“I wanted to be punished for what I had done, so that God
would be able to love me again,” I said.
“Yes,” he replied, his tone deep and sad. “And when the right
opportunity arose, and that punishment was withheld, how do you
think that made you feel?”
I thought about that for a moment. I thought about my
feelings, as I sat there listening to my teacher tell me that I had
dropped the ball; that I needed to get on the ball and straighten
up. I remember the sinking feeling I had, the desperation, and the
utter abandonment I felt, like no one thought I was worth their
time.
“Desperate, worthless, abandoned,” I said.
“What are the feelings that you have when you have those
episodes, where your belly hurts and you get overwhelmed by the
pain?”
“Desperate, worthless and abandoned.”
“There’s the connection,” he said. “And what happened, as
the result of this incident in sixth grade, is that you developed
what is sometimes called a reaction formation where, when a past
trauma is triggered, a need to resolve the feelings and fears
surrounding that trauma generates a behavior pattern designed to
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invoke a resolution to those feelings and fears. In other words,

each time that you felt abandoned, lost, overwhelmed or
frightened you began to develop a pattern of behaviors and
physical symptoms designed to invoke behaviors and responses
from those around you, especially caring men you perceived to be
gentle. Did your teacher ever validate or praise you for anything?”
“He liked my singing and my artwork. That’s about all
though, I think.”
“Did he validate you for these things when you were alone or
when you were amongst the other members of your class?”
“Mostly in front of the class. I think he felt sorry for me
because nobody liked me and everybody loved my brother.”
“So, your greatest desire was for him to see how much you
needed that spanking, wasn’t it?”
“I guess.”
“No, that won’t do, Christy. Was that or was that not your
greatest desire?”
“It was,” I conceded.
“And then this continued on, didn’t it? Your need to establish
your value, through the creative things you do, your need to be
taken seriously and not just brushed off, but you also needed to
be punished in order to become acceptable, not just to God, but
to everyone, especially perceptive, gentle and caring men. Isn’t
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that right?”
“Yes,” I said, seeing the truth in what he was saying.
“And again, this continued on, as you built your game, which
became more and more elaborate in its format; all designed to get
what you thought you needed in order to feel acceptable,
validated, loved. But the game never seemed to work, or not for
very long, did it?”
“No,” I acknowledged, recounting in my mind those few
times in which I got what I wanted, but it only made things better
for a little while, and then I was back playing the game again.
“Why do you suppose that is?” He asked. His voice was
gentle, loving, and it caused my heart to skip a couple beats.
“I don’t know,” I cried, feeling frustrated and angry with
myself for not knowing, for not being able to respond in such a
way as to show him that I was worthy of his love.
“It’s, all right to not know,” he replied, softly. “You are worthy
of my love, despite your present capacity to understand. My love
for you is not based upon what you can do or upon what you
know, but rather upon the intimate connection we have forged
through trust, and through the sharing of our beingness with one
another.”
Suddenly, I remembered that he could see my thoughts and
feelings through his connection with the Meathos. At first I felt
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betrayed by this, feeling like he had betrayed me by accessing my

secret thoughts and emotions. Then I rethought that position,
realizing that I had agreed to allow this connection in order to give
him the capacity to connect with my memories, my feelings, so
that he could help and guide me to a greater understanding of
myself. Even in knowing my most secret thoughts and feelings, he
loved me. That was a shock. Even the game, I came to realize,
was of secondary importance to his willingness, to his deep desire
to assist me in understanding it, and maybe even to getting past
it.
“Maybe,” I said, after a moments thought, “it was because
what I felt from them was not love, but the need to get something
from me that made them feel better. Maybe, those who tried to
help me with this, were as sick as I was, but just in a different
way.”
“Ah,” he said, in an exhalant tone. “That is a very important
insight! I am very proud of you for expressing the willingness to
validate that possibility! Can you take the next step?”
“What is the next step?” I asked, hoping he would just tell me
and relieve me of the struggle of trying to figure it out.
He didn’t, so I had to think about it. After all, the game had
worked! It worked with Aranon anyway. Because of the game and
getting what I wanted, what the game said I needed, I was able to
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retrieve the memories that Sissy had been holding on to so tightly.

But would I have been able to access those memories without the
game? If I had allowed Aranon to look into my mind and see what
was happening and why, could he have just taken me there,
without the pain, without the punishment, without the game?
Probably.
But then my deepest desire would have never been fulfilled.
Was the fulfillment of that desire necessary? Did I really need to
be punished before I could connect with the events that had made
the game necessary? Maybe not, but then if what I thought I
needed was really necessary in order to access those memories,
as Aranon himself had agreed was true, what was the next step?
Maybe it was ending the game. Maybe, now that the door was
open, now that the memories were finally available to me, I no
longer needed the game. Could I forego that need, that
overpowering desire for the expression of unconditional love?
Could I just give up the game? I wasn’t sure I could.
“I don’t know if I can give up the game,” I said, feeling as
though anything less would be judged as failure.
“Okay,” he said, gently. “But can you concede to the
possibility that giving up the game might be the next step?”
“Yes,” I replied, reluctantly, knowing that he knew I was not
yet ready to give it up, and feeling guilty for that.
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“That’s all right,” he said, his voice filled with love and
acceptance. “You will only be asked to take the next step when
you are ready. Until then, I will honor your game and the need
that it seeks to fulfill. Nevertheless, I want you to know that I will
continue to assist you, to love you and to honor you and your
needs, as long as you consider it necessary to persist in them. I
will also continue to assist you in discovering what it is that you
really need, and to help you to acquire it without the game,
without pain and punishment. I need to warn you though, that
each time you insist on playing the game, I will henceforth give
you what you want, swiftly, without hesitation. Is that acceptable
to you?”
“You mean that when I act like I want a spanking you will just
do it?”
“Yes.”
“Okay,” I said, feeling suddenly sexually aroused. I knew he
knew that, and I felt terribly embarrassed by that thought.
“I want you to know, though, that even though I love you and
desire only the best for you, I am willing to do this only because
you feel that it is a necessary component to your healing, and not
because I feel that it is necessary or even appropriate. I also want
you to know that eventually this experience will not only loose it’s
power to open doors, to reveal hidden memories, but it will
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become possibly even more terrifying than the experiences that

you hope to uncover with it’s utilization. You can give it up now, or
wait until that point has been reached. It’s your choice.”
“Can I give it up at any time, or do I have to wait till then?” I
asked, still not ready to give it up. It had been my life long fantasy,
my friend. It had been the driving force behind the hope of
recovering my memories, myself, my life, as well as the way to
acquire love; the only way I could accept it.
“You can give it up at any time,” he said. “The sooner the
better.”
“I’m not ready to give it up yet,” I said, hoping for at least one
more experience of what I have now come to understand as
unconditional love.
“All right,” he said, and I could hear and feel the pain and the
sadness in his voice. “I will honor that.”
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Twenty-Nine
I feel it is important for me to jump in here and explain a few

insights that I have had since this somewhat unbelievable
experience of mine, with Aranon, on Anchor. First of all is the
connection between obsessions and addictive behavior.
Obsessions are things that you feel you must do, say or think in
order to set things right, in order to get a sense of well-being,
safety or comfort. Addictions are based upon the need for a
substance or an experience to make things right, safe or
comfortable. Both are born out of the same obsessive-compulsive
thinking.
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This is the basis of co-dependency. I have a script that you

must follow in order for me to feel accepted, acceptable and
comfortable. It doesn’t matter that you may have your own script.
What counts is MY script and whether or not you play your part,
as I believe that you should. How you feel and how you perceive
my script is not important. What is important is getting my needs
met according to MY plan, MY script. Can you see the distortion
here?
Addictions are very close to the same thing. I need to feel
comfortable. I need to feel good about myself, invincible,
invulnerable. Many get that feeling when they drink alcoholic
beverages, have sex with a handsome man or a beautiful woman,
take this drug, or that one, or experience something as the result
of a physical action or experience. Then the addict reasons, If
they had that feeling once they can get it again, by repeating the
physical process of drinking, taking drugs, having sex, or as in my
case, getting a spanking. Obsessions, compulsions and
addictions are all based on the prospect of getting our needs met
as the result of the utilization and manipulation of individuals or
substances outside of ourselves.
What I learned, as the result of this experience on Anchor; is
that nothing and no one outside of me will ever adequately meet
my needs or complete me. The only thing that will ever meet my
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needs or complete me is that connection that I have, within me, to

a Power Greater Than Myself. This is not a physical connection
but rather a spiritual one, that relies solely on my own sense of
self worth and my willingness to concede that I am valued and
loved, first by my self and then by that Creative Force that flows
through me, giving me life and the capacity to express as an
individual, with free will.
Until I was able to connect with this truth, I was truly unable
to experience love, unconditional or otherwise, or to recognize my
own intrinsic value as an expression of The Creative Force. Until I
became aware of this truth, I was unwilling and unable to step
away from my preconceived notions of what should be, and
accept love or even life, on it’s own terms. My life experiences
had skewed my thinking. I saw things through the distorted
thinking and ideals that come from a childhood chock-full of abuse
and disfunctionality. I was ignorant of the fact that every time I
tried to force or to manipulate others into responding to my
demands without consideration for their needs, feelings and their
desires; I was actually determining that what I got back would be
in direct opposition to what I really wanted in the first place. In
effect, I had no idea how my obsession, and Aranon’s willingness
to honor it, despite his personal feelings about it, would eventually
bite me hard enough to scare me into giving up the game!
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Kerry Dennis
We had been invited for dinner at Sam and Jennie’s. I was

excited by this prospect, for I would get to see Piddles, whom I
missed greatly. Aranon informed me of this invitation shortly after
our last session in which he had pledged to honor my obsession
to be spanked whenever I displayed the need. His warning; that it
could become more frightening and painful than facing my
memories was; also forgotten. I was driven by my needs, by my
obsession, and everything else was secondary, unimportant.
We arrived for dinner and were met at the door by Andy; the
child genius developed by the research project that I still felt was
wrong and abusive.
“Hi!” he said, opening the door wider so that we could enter.
“I apologize for my behavior the last time we met.” He stuck out
his hand, like a grown man might do, seeking reconciliation. I
took it, and gave it a gentle shake. “I’m glad I had this opportunity
to apologize,” he continued after the handshake. “I was really off
base,”
My mind whirled with the strangeness of the encounter. He
talked like a full-grown man, cordial, apologetic. His diction and
tone was way beyond his years. Golly, he only stood two and a
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half feet tall! He still looked like a baby, in spite of his poise,
intelligence and diction. Something inside me said that this was
wrong, unnatural. I slid by him as fast as I could, allowing Aranon
to greet him.
“Hello Uncle Aranon,” he said, smiling broadly, offering his
hand once more. Aranon took his hand and then picked him up,
and hugged him, with deep affection, closing the door and
carrying him past me and into the living room.
“I am glad that you are doing so well, Andy,” said Aranon
with what I considered to be a rather smarmy tone. I felt
nauseated by it.
“Hello!” Said Sam with his, to me, plastic and unrealistic
smile. “How are you, Christy?”
“Okay,” I said, responding in what I thought was the socially
acceptable tone, with a socially acceptable smile. There was
definitely something going on with me, but I didn’t have a clue
what it was.
“Oh good, good!” He responded, his tone oozing with social
acceptability.
I felt sickened by the apparent superficiality of everyone and
plopped down on the couch feeling totally out of place and
wanting to be anywhere but here. That is until Piddles scuttled
into the room, his whole body waging with his tail and his muzzle
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Kerry Dennis
sporting a smile that would melt the glaciers in Antarctica! I let him
jump into my lap and frantically lick me from face to fingers. Then
I hugged him, told him I had missed him and then began petting
him. Within seconds he had done his little shifts and turns and
had plopped down in my lap, breathing a sigh of relief, and
coming to a state of full relaxation.
“I can see that Piddles missed you and is still partial to your
energies,” said Sam, chuckling.
“Well, what can I say, he’s a dog. What does he know?” I
replied, trying to sound jovial.
“He knows your soul,” said Aranon, putting Andy down, and
then sitting down on the couch beside me, his knees poking up
nearly to the height of his chin as he sat on the small couch. “He
can see what you are, not who you think you are.” He gave
Piddles a pet, who licked his hand but remained, ensconced in my
lap.
“Well, what does he know,” I quipped, “he’s only a dog,”
Aranon leaned over and whispered into my ear. “Shift your
attitude, Christy, or be prepared for a very embarrassing
experience.”
“So what are you gonna do, Aranon?” I asked loudly. “Spank
me?”
‘You bet’cha” He replied, just as loudly and with a curt tone
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that I’d never heard from him before.

That gave me pause. As a matter of fact it gave everyone in
the room pause, or maybe what I saw was shock. I decided that
maybe it would be best not to push the issue. In fact, it sacred me
more than just a little. I had never experienced him acting this
way. I withdrew into myself, feeling spurned by him, feeling
dejected.
Although Sam seemed shocked by Aranon’s behavior, Andy
just stood there, looking at me, smiling.
“Never underestimate Aranon,” said Andy, with a knowing
smile. “He always means what he says.”
“Andy, go help your mother put dinner on the table,” said
Sam, his face reflecting his discomfort at the whole thing.
“Well it’s true,” Andy said, defensively. “Aranon always
means what he says.”
“Go!” Said Sam, impatiently, pointing toward the kitchen.
Andy scurried into the kitchen, looking back once to wink at me.
“How can you live with that?” I asked, momentarily releasing
my grip on myself in the face of Andy’s parting wink, which I felt to
be a jeer. “God! What a little prick!”
Sam didn’t respond, but his demeanor spoke volumes.
Obviously he was uncomfortable with Andy’s precocity, but he
was even more uncomfortable with my derisive statement. It was
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Kerry Dennis
Aranon who responded.

“I will give no more warnings,” he said, softly, ominously.
Again I withdrew, focusing on petting Piddles, who seemed
to appreciate my attentions. To say the least, Aranon was scaring
me.
“Dinner’s ready,” said Jennie from the doorway to the
kitchen.
We all got up and went into the dining room, where the table
was laden with food, and exuded heavenly smells. Putting Piddles
down, I followed Aranon, and silently made my way to an empty
chair. I sat down and took the napkin that was expertly folded on
my plate, unfolding it, and placing it in my lap. I took the serving
plates as they came around and put fried chicken, mashed
potatoes and green peas on my plate, finally covering my
potatoes with a rich brown gravy.
“Thank you,” I said, appreciatively, “for this wonderful
dinner.”
“I hope it’s what you like,” replied Jeannie.
“Oh, yes,” I responded, trying to sound appropriate. God! I
was so sick of being appropriate!
“Great!” She said, her face all smiles. “I asked Aranon what
you liked, so if it’s not to your liking, you have him to blame.”
“Its fantastic,” I said, taking a bite of the chicken that wasn’t
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really chicken and trying to look pleased.

“Aranon tells me that you two took a trip to Archana. How
was it?” Asked Sam
“I liked it, Maybe I’ll go there to live someday,” I said
honestly.
“What did you think of the Sensarians? I thought they were a
bit overbearing, even a little scary.” Said Jeannie.
“Maybe you are not spiritually evolved enough to see the
Sensarians as they really are,” I replied without thinking.
“That’s it!” Replied Aranon, getting up and tossing his napkin
on his chair. A pall of shock and dismay swept over the faces of
Jeannie and Sam.
Andy giggled and with a snide look said, “I told you so!”
“Come with me, Christy. We need to have a little talk,” said
Aranon as he grabbed my arm and pulled me unceremoniously
from my chair and dragged me from the dining room.
“I’m sorry!” I said, when we were out of earshot, as tears
filled my eyes. “I didn’t mean it. Really!”
He didn’t respond, but rather continue to pull me, like a
naughty child, down a hallway and into a room that looked like it
was used for art projects. There was an easel, a drafting table,
and shelves of art supplies. He maintained his grip on my arm as
he adjusted an art stool to match his height and sat down. I was
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Kerry Dennis
really crying by this time, terrified and not knowing what to expect.
“Please don’t spank me, Aranon,” I sobbed as he started to
pull me across his lap. “I don’t want you to spank me, please!”
“I warned you,” he said, softly, without anger. “I warned you
that, if the behavior you were displaying persisted, I would spank
you. Yet you persisted in that behavior. Your comment to Sam
about Andy, and your cutting remark to Jennie were both belittling
and inconsiderate of their feelings. Your behavior has been
unusually inappropriate since we arrived.”
He continued to draw me across his lap and I fought him by
trying to sit down on the floor instead of allowing him to pull me
across his lap. He stopped and allowed me to pull away from him.
“What did you think would happen when you continued to
behave that way?” He asked, gently, as I sat on the floor,
sobbing.
“I don’t understand why I was behaving that way! Please
don’t spank me because I was bad! I don’t want you to spank me
because I am bad! I’m not bad!” I cried, tears streaming down my
face and dripping onto the floor.
“You are right, you’re not bad. Nevertheless, your behavior
was totally out of character for you, and it seemed to me that this
was part of your game. Am I in error? Is this not part of the
game?”
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“It seemed to me that everyone else’s behavior was out of

character and I felt like I was being manipulated, like everyone
was playing some sort of part that was just so phony. It made me
angry!” I cried, sobbing deeply and wiping my tears away with the
sleeves of my shirt. “I’m sorry! Please don’t spank me! I didn’t
mean to act that way! This is not how I play my game!”
Aranon was silent for a moment. Finally, he leaned back and
took a deep breath. “Alright,” he said, reaching down and gently
letting his hand glide over my head in a soft caress. “I think we
are finished with this for now,” he said, reaching down with both
hands to take my upper arms and pull me to my feet, as I
continued to sob, covering my face with my hands.
“Okay,” I said, gasping and hiccupping.
“But I need you to do a favor for me.” He pulled my hands
away from my face and gently raised my chin with a finger so he
could look into my eyes. “I need you to apologize to Jeannie and
Sam for those cutting remarks you made. Will you do that,
Christy?”
“Yes,” I said, with another deep sob of relief. “I’m really sorry
I was so mean.”
“I believe you,” he said, drawing me into a gentle hug. “I’m
sorry this happened. Remember, if you are upset, if you feel that
something is wrong or you need attention, you can just tell me
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Kerry Dennis
what you are feeling. There is no need to act out to get your
needs met. You can also just tell me that you feel you need to be
spanked, if that is what you need.” He hugged me a little tighter,
seemingly apologetically. “We can always go to an appropriate
place to discuss what you are feeling. You don’t need to humiliate
others, or yourself, to get the attention you need.”
“Okay,” I replied, as tears still flowed copiously from my
eyes. “I’m sorry.”
“You can show that by apologizing to Jeannie and Sam. The
things you said were demeaning and spiteful and that’s not like
you at all.”
“I know,” I replied, knowing he was right. It was mean. Why
did I act that way? Why was I being such a turd? Was I actually,
subconsciously, goading him into spanking me? I still felt as
though something else was going on that I just couldn’t put my
finger on. If I had been able to build the fantasy, if I had been able
to feel the pain in my gut, that was always the prelude to the
building of that fantasy, this would probably not have happened.
As we reentered the dining room, my eyes all red and puffy,

my face stained with tears, Jeannie was standing at the door. She
grabbed Aranon, escorting him hurriedly into another room.
I sat down and looked at my plate, as I heard Jeannie yelling
527
from the other room.

“What are you thinking Aranon? You can’t just go around
hitting the seekers! Are you crazy?”
“Calm down, Jeannie!” Aranon replied, in a calming voice,
”what you think happened and what did happen are two different
things.”
Then their voices became too muffled for me to eavesdrop.
No one in the dining room was talking. I looked up and saw Sam
looking at me, his face washed in pity.
“I’m fine, “ I said. “I just got a little out of line, is all. Aranon
has been trying to help me with a problem I’ve been having and
misunderstood my behavior. Of course that doesn’t excuse it.
Please forgive me for my behavior and the unkind things I said to
you.”
“You’re forgiven,” responded Sam, still in shock concerning
what he thought had happened. “Did he hit you?” He asked, after
a moment of silence.
“Spank her, Father. It’s a sexual fetish on Earth,” replied
Andy, glibly. He didn’t look at me; he just took another bite of
mashed potatoes.
I looked back down at my plate, feeling suddenly frightened.
I didn’t know, until that moment, that my obsession was sexually
oriented. I knew it caused sexual feelings in me, but I didn’t really
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Kerry Dennis
connect it with a sexual need. I always thought it had something

to do with opening the door to my past. If it were sexually based,
then why would Aranon do it? When he did, was as he actually,
sexually abusing me? Did it always come back to that same
thing? Maybe I’m an abuse magnet. Maybe I will never get well. If
Aranon really is willing to do this, how much further might he go?
At this point Aranon and Jeannie reentered the dining room
and quietly sat down. Jeannie seemed embarrassed. I wonder
what he told her? Did he tell her that he would probably be having
sex with me before the week is out? Suddenly, I was not feeling
very comfortable sitting there next to him.
He looked at me, noticing that my demeanor had changed
again, and now I suppose he could see that I was feeling
frightened. I didn’t want to look him in the eye.
“Christy, you haven’t eaten your meal. Jeannie went to a lot
of trouble to make this for us.” He sounded concerned and I felt
that concern in my gut. “Are you not feeling well? Do you want to
go back to your room?”
“And then what, Aranon?” I said, feeling angry that he hadn’t
told me about the sexual aspects of my game. “Are you going to
rape me?”
“Oh my!” Said Aranon, his face washed in shock. “Where did
this come from?”
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“Why didn’t you tell me that my obsession, my game, was

sexually based?” I asked angrily, feeling my cheeks turn hot.
He looked around the room, first at Sam and then at Andy,
who was watching all this with great interest, a smug smile on his
face. “What did you say to her Andy?” he asked, his eyes locking
with Andy’s.
“I said that spanking is a sexual fetish on Earth. That’s true,
so what’s the big deal?” Said little Andy, defensively, still holding
Aranon’s gaze, unwaveringly.
“It is true for some, Andy, that’s right. But it is not always
true. In Christy’s case, it’s not true. Her desire is not based on a
need for sexual intimacy, but rather on a need for emotional
release.”
“Same difference,” quipped Andy, smugly.
“No, it is not,” said Aranon, sternness coloring his voice and
gaze. “As soon as you have finished your meal, I want you to go
and do a little more research on the subject. Might I suggest you
start with learning about the issues of victims of sexual abuse?
Maybe then you will see how possibly damaging your comment
was.”
Aranon looked back at me, and said, “If you feel that the
trust between us has been broken, Christy, I would gladly find you
another facilitator. A female one if that would make you more
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Kerry Dennis
comfortable. You have come so far, it would be a shame to stop

now, simply because a child made a comment that caused you to
become afraid. If that is the case, you may also want to consider
giving up the game.”
My head was spinning and I wasn’t sure what to believe
anymore. None of this would have happened if I had just been
willing to give up the game. Could I do that? Was I ready to do
that? Would I make any better progress with another facilitator?
Aranon had always been kind and gentle. He could have sexually
molested me a number of times, if he had wanted to.
Why was I so upset by what Andy said? Was it because I felt
guilty about sometimes having sexual feelings about Aranon? I
couldn’t help having those feelings. He was a beautiful being. He
had accompanied me through some of my most intimate, and
terrifying experiences. I didn’t want him to leave me. By this time
my heart was pounding with the certainty that he would now
abandon me.
“No,” I said, my voice shaky with emotion. “I don’t want
another facilitator. I just don’t want you to molest me. I don’t ever
want to be molested again!” At this point the tears started again,
and once again I felt terribly embarrassed. Nevertheless, I had to
know the truth. “Is spanking me a form of sexual molestation?”
“It can be, yes. But the issues that you are dealing with,
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especially concerning your game, have more to do with

generating an emotional and spiritual connection within yourself,
to that which generated the game in the first place. We are
halfway there, Christy. Once you reach your core issue, I think
that your need for the game will disappear. I think the game itself
might even be the key to that core issue. In your case, Christy,
the game is based upon fear and shame. It is about sex and your
perceptions about your own sexuality, and a less informed
individual might construe that it is a signal that you desire a
violent sexual encounter. That is why it is so important that you
work through this fantasy, this game, and release it. In doing so,
you will be protecting yourself from further abuse. Does that
answer your question?”
I guess I was feeling very overwhelmed by all of this. It
seemed that every time we came to Sam and Jeannie’s house, I
became triggered. I didn’t know what to think.
“First I thought that your willingness to play out the game
with me,” I responded, tearfully, “was a part of my healing and
that being able to get a spanking whenever I need it would finally
make everything break loose, and like you said, I wouldn’t need it
anymore. But then Andy said it was a sexual fetish and I started
to wonder if you were sexually abusing me and how far would it
go, and all I wanted was to do was just go home; to my real
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Kerry Dennis
home, on Earth. Now I don’t know what to think. You say it’s
sexual, but it’s not. You say it will help end the game, and then
you say I need to give up the game. How am I supposed to feel?
What am I supposed to think?” Tears blurred my vision.
“What do you want to think? What do you want to feel,
Christy?”
“I want to think that I’ve been going in the right direction. I
want to think that everything we have done so far was not based
on some sexual perversion. I want to believe that you really care
about me and that you don’t want to hurt me just so you can get
your jollies!”
“I do care about you, Christy, and my jollies, as you call
them, will come when you have freed yourself from the pain of
your past, and are capable of reaching your full potential. If that
means hurting you a little bit to assist you in doing that, because
you insist on that treatment, then I will. But I am definitely not
doing it because I, in any way, enjoy it. I would be very happy if
you decided to end the game right now. I know that we could
access the issues behind it in another way. But it always comes
back to you, Christy. You are the only one who can decide to
release the game, or to push it until you get to where you think
you want to go.”
I thought this over. I could tell that he was sincere. I knew
533
that I had difficulty feeling safe, anywhere, and yet I kept doing
unsafe things, like playing the game. But when fear overtook me,
when guilt and shame roared through me, I could think of nothing
else but the game. I couldn’t will it to go away. I couldn’t keep the
obsession from overtaking me, overtaking my life, choreographing
my thoughts and actions in ways that I was not consciously aware
of. Yes, I wanted it to stop. I wanted nothing more. But how could
I stop it until it was finished? Or would it ever be finished? Maybe,
Aranon could help me to finish it. Maybe he could still help me
stop it, if I didn’t give up.
“Can you help me end the game?” I asked. “Can you help
me do that without actually playing the game?”
“Probably,” he replied, nodding. “But like I said, Christy, it’s
up to you. You have to be willing to end it. You have to be willing
to try other alternatives.”
“I want to, but I don’t know if I can. It’s all so raw now, like a
festering wound. Especially when the inner pain and fantasies just
come at me. Except that the pain and the fantasies never really
materialize anymore, so there is no release. It’s frustrating! I need
help!”
“Are you willing to try other alternatives?” He asked, taking
my hand in his, and looking, hopefully into my eyes.
“You mean like with that touch thing you were telling me
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Kerry Dennis
about, where you take away the pain and can see where it’s
coming from?”
“That’s one alternative, yes.”
“And if that doesn’t work and I still can’t get rid of it, then
what?”
He smiled softly, patting my hand. “How about if we just take
it one step at a time.”
“Okay.”
“Christy, would you like me to warm up your dinner for you?”
Asked Jeannie, giving me a caring smile.
“No thanks,” I said, no longer hungry. “I appreciate the fact
that you went to all this trouble, but I just can’t eat right now. I
apologize for what I said before. I am sorry I upset you and your
family with my behavior.”
“Apology accepted,” She said, getting up and clearing away
the plates. No one had eaten much accept Andy, who had
cleaned his plate.
“Thank you for dinner, Jeannie,” said Aranon. “I would ask
you to heat up my plate, but I think I should get Christy back to
her room. I have a feeling we have some more work to do.” He
smiled and winked at her, and patted my hand again and looked
at me. “Ready to go?”
“Okay,” I answered, getting up.
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As we started for the door, Piddles came scurrying around

the corner, his feet sliding out from under him on the wooden
floor. He slid into the wall and then was up again, in a flash,
racing right to me. I bent down and picked him up, and as his tail
slapped against me as he proceeded to wash my face with his
tongue.
“I got’a go now, Piddles. I’ll see you again.” I hugged him
and put him down.
He wouldn’t accept that and continued to dance at my feet,
following me all the way to the door. Aranon frowned and then
picked him up.
“I guess he wants to go with Christy,” he said, chuckling. “I
suppose he will howl at the door again. Do you think you can put
up with that, Jeannie?”
“I think he will be just fine. I’ll take him into Andy’s room.
Andy knows how to calm him.” Jeannie took Piddles into her arms
and it was pretty obvious from the way that he struggled that he
didn’t want to be there.
As the door closed behind us and we started down the walk,
I could hear Piddles whining and howling. Aranon put his arm
around me and eased me down the sidewalk. It was quite clear
that there would be no time for Piddles for a while.
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Thirty
“I think there is still another memory, maybe even more than

one, that we need to access before we can put an end to the
game.” Aranon said as we sat in the conversation area, facing
one another in the comfortable chairs that molded themselves to
our bodies.
“But how do I get there, without the game?” I asked, as the
demand to play the game began once again to grow in me.
“Let’s see if we can develop a process, a format of doing
things that will offer you the same release. First of all, you need to
be touched. How would you like me to touch you?”
“There’s something about the position, you know, over the
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lap?” I said, wondering if that was going to be acceptable. “That’s

not sexual, is it?”
“Any process shared by two or more individuals, which has
to do with the body, can be considered sexual, depending upon
the desires and the intents of the participants. Would your intent
in choosing that position be sexually oriented?”
I made a sour face. “No,” I said, not sure because there was
a lot stuff I was finding to be sexually oriented. I didn’t want it to
be sexually oriented, at least not consciously.
“Okay, so I hold you across my lap. The next thing is the
experience. What do you have to experience in order to connect
with your memories?
“I don’t know. It has to hurt. Then there’s the noise, the loud
slaps. And then there is the energy, at the base of my spine that
shoots upward with each slap and then sort’a explodes in my
brain and causes the connection. I think that’s everything, accept
maybe being treated kindly, I don’t think it’s supposed to be
punishment. I think it’s supposed to be a physical and emotional
release. I have always wondered if it would help me to find
someone who knew how to run an electrical charge from the base
of my spine to the top of my head. I have felt for a long time that it
has something to do with Kundalini.”
“Ah!” He said, leaning back and closing his eyes. He stayed
that way for a few moments and then abruptly sat forward. “Thank
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Kerry Dennis
you for your patience, it took me a moment to connect the dots.

Yes, Kundalini, a process of aligning all of the energy centers in
the body through the use of physical and mental exercises, for the
purpose of attaining enlightenment. Enlightenment occurs when
all of the centers are aligned and the Kundalini energy rises from
the base of the spine through the centers, all the way to the
Crown Chakra. I think you are right about it having to do with
Kundalini!” He stood up and began pacing, obviously thinking this
through. “This changes things. Your description of what you need,
is that strait out of the game?”
“Yes,” I said, wondering where he was going. The energy of
the game was still building, and yet the fantasy didn’t materialize
and there wasn’t any pain in my gut. It was scary and frustrating.
“Okay, let me run this by you and see what you think.” He
sat down again, and took my hands in his. “First, we use that
position of over the lap, because it serves two purposes. It gives
you the touch you need, and it also allows me to place one hand
on the base of your spine and one on the top of your head. The
purpose of that is so that I can direct a flow of energy through
your nerve train, or spinal chord. If you need pain it will come from
within you, not from a potentially physically damaging action on
my part. As far as the sound goes, that can be accomplished by
clapping my hands just before I apply the energy. How does this
sound to you?”
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“A little scary.”
“I don’t really know. I can’t pull up the fantasy or the pain!” I
cried, frustrated and confused.
“Oh, my! I’ll take care of that first. You will surely need that to
connect with the pain.” He reached out and touched my forehead
and I blanked out. “Kerry,” he said, “come here. You need to give
back that package I asked you to hold on to.”
“What if I refuse,” said Kerry, pouting.
“Then you would not be protecting the system, and you
wouldn’t be helping the system to put an end to that pain and fear.
That’s Christy’s job and she can’t do it until she can walk through
the pain, and face the fear. You have done a good job of helping
the system so far, lets finish it now, okay?”
“Okay, fine!” she said, in an irritated tone. “It’s just that I was
never given a job before. Now I have to give it up.”
“No, now your job changes. Instead of holding on to her pain
and her fear, you can give it back, and then hang back and let her
go through it. Your job, now, is to trust me and to hand the
protection over to me for a while. I know that’s going to be hard
for you, but I think you can do it for the good of the system.”
“So what am I supposed to do, go hide in Lynn’s closet? Or
maybe you would just like me to disappear!” Her face was filled
with anger, but she didn’t act on it, except to cross her arms over
her chest and glare at him.
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“No,” replied Aranon, calmly, patiently. “If you like, I can fix it
so that you can look out her eyes and know what is going on.
What I am asking you to do is to hang back, no matter how
threatening the situation might appear, and just let it happen.”
“Why; because you are somehow magically going to fix us?
You really think this silly ass idea is gonna work?”
“Not without your help and the help of everyone in there that
you are protecting. You see, Kerry, no one can fix you. I may be
able to assist in providing the conditions, but the real work is up to
you, all of you. Until each of you can give up the pain and the fear
of past events, you will continue to be locked into that pain and
fear. The only way out is through it, and that may be really scary,
and it will probably be very painful. I need your help to keep
everyone safe, on the inside, and to help them to walk through
this, no matter how difficult it has to get before you can finally let it
go and be free of it. Will you help?”
“You mean like protecting the insiders from the stuff that isn’t
theirs?”
“Yes! Thank you, I couldn’t have said it better. Will you
help?”
“Okay, but I deserve some special time of my own, you
know? Like a trip to some really fantastic planet or something?
Just you and me?”
“I think that could probably be arranged.” He smiled at her.
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“Will you give back that package now?”

“Okay, but I am going to hold you to your promise.”
“I would expect nothing less, my friend. Thank you.”
Then she was gone and I gasped into wakefulness with my
belly on fire and the fantasy going full force. “Oh my god!” I yelled,
doubling over and then tumbling to the floor and rolling into a fetal
position. “Stop it! Please! It’s too much! It’s too much! Please
Aranon!” I cried in agony.
He reached out and placed his hand on my forehead, and
the pain disappeared. My heart was still pounding and I was still
gasping as he picked me up off the floor and placed me back in
the chair.
“Is that better?” He asked.
“Yes,” I said, calming. “That was awful!”
“Yes, that was what you had built up while we were waiting
to go to Archana. I had one of your alters keep it safe for you, so
that you could enjoy the trip.”
“So, what does that mean?” I asked, confused.
“From now on you can build that energy if you need to, to
create the fantasy and the pain, so that we can complete the
game.”
“Oh.” I wasn’t sure that was a step up or not. Not now that I
realized that it was the fantasy that generated the pain.
“So lets see what happens. Shall we?” He reached out and
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grabbed my arm and pulled me over his lap.

The fantasy started building, and I could feel the fear and the
pain building as well, even though I knew he wasn’t really going to
spank me. My breathing started coming in short pants and my
heart rate went into high gear. Then, he clapped his hands and
my whole body jerked, as though he had actually smacked me.
He clapped his hands again, and again, my body jerked and the
pain grew more intense and there was pain at the base of my
spine. Once more, he clapped his hands, my body jerked and I
cried out, as the pain in my belly began roaring like a fire. I started
screaming, and he placed his hands on me, one at the base of my
spine and one on the top of my head, and the pain roared through
me, from my buttocks to the top of my head. Then there was an
explosion in my head and memories began to flood into my
consciousness like a tsunami.
“Tell me what you are experiencing, Christy.”
“I don’t know how! It hurt! It hurts!” I cried.
“Tell me why it hurts so much. What happened to make it
hurt so much?”
“I don’t know,” I cried, as a terrible burning sensation flowed
over the entire front half of my body. “Maybe this is when I got
burned! Please, Aranon, make it stop!”
Aranon pulled his hand away from the base of my spine and
hurriedly carried me into the Meathos and laid me down. Then he
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went to the interface and plugged in.

“Step aside and look at it, Christy. Let the Meathos help you.
Step out of your body, disconnect from the pain. Do it now,
Christy,” he commanded.
Suddenly, the burning stopped, and I was able to see
myself, as a small child, still a baby at about eighteen months old,
with a toy in my hand. It was one of those plumber chains that
threaded through the hole in the center of several colored teething
disks. They were very popular infant toys in the forties and fifties.
My baby self was chewing on them, and then reaching toward the
stove, about five feet away saying, “Pity lights, pity bubbles.”
I watched, as the tiny child sat down in her playpen and
stuck her feet through the bars and then walked the playpen
across the room. She was wearing a set of wool sleeper pajamas
with feet in them, and on the bottom of the feet were nubbied
rubber soles. They gripped the tile floor and made it possible for
her to move the playpen, inch by inch toward the stove. On the
stove was a glass pot of coffee boiling, bubbles rising from the
base as it sat on a low flame. The rising bubbles fascinated her.
When she got the playpen next to the stove, she stood up
again and moved close to the pot of boiling coffee, the chain of
disks still in her hand. Then, she reached up and began to tap on
the coffee pot with one of the disks again saying, “Pity bubbles.”
She tried touching the pot with a finger, but drew it away
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rapidly. “Hot!” She said, making a face. She then contented

herself with tapping on the glass pot with a disk. Then, the chain
got wrapped around the long handle of the pot and as she drew
her hand away to again put the disk to her mouth, the pot teetered
and then turned on it’s side, spilling it’s contents all down the front
of her, from her face to her feet. Her woolen sleepers steamed
from the heat of the coffee soaking them. Shocked by this, she
sat down in the playpen, a look of utter terror spreading across
her face. She gasped as the pain finally seeped through her
shock and disbelief.
At this point my mother, looking young and beautiful entered
the room. She screamed and grabbed the baby me and took her
to the sink, tearing off her sleepers and rubbing butter all over her
red and welting skin, sobbing. Baby me must still have been in
shock, for she just lay there, on the drain board, gasping for
breath, still clutching the chain of disks in her tiny hand. Mother
wrapped her in a dishtowel and ran to the phone to call our
neighbor, Mr. Eddy. At this point, the baby me began to bellow,
loudly. The shock was wearing off.
Mr. Eddy came through the back door, not even knocking,
and grabbed me from my mother. He put me in the sink and
washed the burns in cold water, which seemed to calm my baby
self a little, and then told my mother to separate the whites from
three eggs and bring them to him. She did, and he smeared the
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egg whites on my baby face and down my chest and abdomen

and on my legs. The only place on my lower body that was not an
angry red and beginning to blister was where my diaper covered
by rubber underpants had been. At this point my mother called
the doctor.
When the doctor arrived I was screaming. He looked over
the burns and shook his head, frowning. He asked about the egg
whites smeared all over the burns and my mother told him about
Mr. Eddy, our next door neighbor, who was a male nurse, and
had been in the Service, stationed in England as a Corpsman
during the Blitz and how he had learned to use egg whites to seal
the burns of victims of incendiary bombs. The doctor nodded and
suggested that she leave the egg whites on until they pealed off,
and then to bathe me and apply a salve that he would call into the
pharmacy.
“I won’t lie to you, Mrs. Milner, she has a fifty-fifty chance of
making it through the night, but if she does, she will probably
survive. She has been burned over nearly a third of her body, and
that can often be fatal, especially in infants. Have your neighbor
check on her and call me if she becomes worse or begins to have
seizures.”
Then he left, never suggesting that I be taken to a hospital.
Maybe he assumed that I would be better off with my parents.
Maybe he thought that Mr. Eddy could monitor me as well as the
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harried nurses in the hospital, I don’t know.

My mother sat holding me, while she waited for my father to
get home. He would be stopping at the pharmacy on the way to
pick up the salve that the doctor ordered. I screamed in pain
while she kept repeating over and over, “Don’t die! Oh God,
please don’t let her die!”
By the time my father got home my mother was an emotional
wreck. He took over holding me and rocking me, and sent her to
bed. I continued to scream and cry well into the night, as my
father tried to calm me enough so that he could get some much-
needed sleep. Finally, he came upon an idea. He reached under
my diaper, to the only place that wasn’t burned and massaged my
genitals. I not only became quite, but I was actually able to fall
sleep.
After that, it became a special ritual for us that he would put
me to bed every night and tickle me to sleep. I wouldn’t even eat
until he came home. Then he would feed me and take me up to
bed and tickle my genitals until I fell asleep.
It all stopped abruptly one night about six months later, when
our house was filled with guests, and my father was in the living
room talking with them. I went to him, begging him to put me to
bed, and begging him to tickle me, touching myself in my private
place. His face clouded first with embarrassment, and then anger.
He picked me up and excused himself, hurrying up the stairs to
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my room.
He dumped me unceremoniously on my bed and began to
smack me on my bare legs and arms. “I will never tickle you
again!” He said angrily, although moderating his voice so that only
I could hear. “It’s bad! It’s very bad! No more tickling! Don’t you
ever ask me to do that again!” With that he left, while I screamed,
shocked to my soul, as he closed the door behind him.
There I lay, in my two-year-old body, desperately sobbing. I
felt like I had just lost everything that meant anything to me. My
daddy didn’t want me no more! In my own childish thinking I knew
that the source of my comfort and delight had just been cut off. I
reached down under my rubber pants and tickled myself. Finally, I
fell asleep.
Again, I awoke in my bed, with Aranon seated beside me.

He smiled gently when he saw my eyes flicker open. I felt floaty,
unreal and limp. I wasn’t sure I could move my body, but it didn’t
seem to matter. I just stared at him dreamily.
“How are you feeling?” He asked.
I thought about responding, but couldn’t quite get there. I
managed a smile I think. Aranon’s face shifted into concern.
“Christy?” He leaned forward and touched my arm. “Tell me
what you are feeling.”
“B’Broken,” I croaked, my throat felt raw.
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Kerry Dennis
“That’s understandable,” he responded, his voice still filled

with concern. “That was the core, Christy, at least the core of your
trauma base. It is where the first split in your personality occurred,
and the source of most of your psychophysical distortions. What
your father did may very well have saved your life. It generated
dopamine and endorphins that soothed your overwhelmed
nervous system and assisted your body in healing by triggering
the release of a hormone called noradrenalin. It also made you
feel loved and cherished. Nevertheless, it developed a need in
you that doesn’t generally present itself until much later in human
development and generated a very precocious ability to satisfy
that need yourself. There are still a few pieces missing, but we
are finally beginning to see where the basis of the game began,
and why you needed to feel as though you were being punished
and yet loved at the same time in order to access the memories.”
“Okay,” I croaked again, still feeling unreal. I only half
understood what he was saying. I was glad that we had found the
core. It seemed to be important.
“I think I took you from the Meathos too soon,” he said,
picking me up and carrying me into the pool. He sat down, with
me in his arms, holding me.
I continued to breathe normally, knowing that I had nothing
to fear from the Meathos. Slowly, the feeling began to come back
in my extremities, and my head began to clear. As I began to
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move about, trying to sit up, Aranon helped me, but we remained
in the pool.
“I think it’s best we stay here for a while,” he said. Why don’t
you tell me what you remember from that time.”
“I remember that when I was two my mom and dad and the
brother that is two years older than me went to California and left
me in the care of my fourteen year old brother and a live-in
babysitter of about the same age. I don’t remember much, but I
remember they tied me in bed. I think I felt abandoned by my
parents.”
“That had to be after the event where you were burned. Was
it after the time your father stopped the tickling?”
“I think so.”
“Let the Meathos help you to remember.”
“Yes, it was,” I said finally, as images of that time began
flooding into my mind.
“What else do you remember?”
“I remember sitting in my highchair, wanting juice, and my
brother being angry with me, refusing to give it to me.”
“What was he angry about?”
“I kept crying all the time. I was scared that my parents had
left because I was so bad.”
“What else do you remember?”
“Being tied in bed and crying for my mommy, and my brother
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coming in and yelling at me for wetting the bed.”

“Anything more?”
“Lots of quick pictures but nothing I can really connect with.”
“Okay, lets move forward. Is there something in the next
year or so that we haven’t already covered?”
I felt like I had been picked up by a strong wind and carried
along, past pictures of playing in the sprinkler with my brother in
the back yard, of putting my toys away in my new room, upstairs.
Then a picture stopped and grabbed me, pulling me into it. I was
standing and looking at a kitten, in the garden in front of my
home.
“I found a kiddy!” I said, but it wasn’t me, it was Lynn. She
was four.
“Tell me about the kitty,” said Aranon.
“It was in the garden and it was hurted. I went to my mommy
and told her to call the vet. She camed out to see the kiddy. It had
sores on it and there was white worms in the sores. Mommy said
it was gonna die cuz it was too sick to make bedder.” She whined
tearfully.
“So what did your mommy do?”
“She gotted a towel and picked it up and tooked it in the
garage. She said she needed to make it go asleep. She poured
smelly stuffs on a wag and put it on the kiddy, and then putted a
bucket over him.” Lynn began to cry, in loud terrified screams.
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“What’s happening, Lynn. Tell me,” urged Aranon.

“The kiddy is cwying, it wants out of da bucket! It’s
scwatching and cwying but mommy won’t led’it out! She’s yelling
at me to stop screaming bud I wan’er to let the kiddy out!” Her
nostrils were streaming, as were her eyes while she sobbed.
“Did she let the kitty out?” He asked, softly.
“No,” sobbed Lynn. Not till it gotted quiet. Then she picked
up the bucket!” She began to scream wildly again, Aranon holding
our body tightly, as she struggled in his arms. “I don’ wanna look
at it! Lemme go! Lemme go!”
“I need you to tell me what you see, Lynn.” He knew she
would never be free of the fear and pain until she described it to
him.
“The kiddy is dead. Mommy said so.”
“Describe what it looks like, Lynn.”
“Its gots foam all over it, and its eyes are open big, big wide,
and its tongue’s out. Its tongue’s sticking out really long. It’s not
moving.”
“Good girl, Lynn, I know that was hard. Now what
happened?”
“My brother was there too, but when he saw the dead kiddy
he runned away cuz the kiddy was scary lookin’. Mommy said I
have ta stay and help her bery da kiddy,” said Lynn, tearfully.
“She pud’it in a bag and we digged a hole, and she pud’it in da
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hole and put dirt on top. Then she told me I had’a stamp on the
dirt to make it go downed, so I stamped on it!” Again she began to
scream, tearing at herself, pulling her own hair.
“What happened then?” Asked Aranon. “What happened that
scared you so much?” He gently took her hands in his to keep her
from hurting the body.
“The kiddy cwied!” She screamed. “Mommy! Please led’da
kiddy out! Please mommy! Led’it ooouut! It’s cwying! It’s not dead!
Mommy, please!”
“Did your mommy let it out?”
“No! She yelled at me an tol’ me to go to my woom!”
“I cwyed and cwyed and payed to God not to led me die!”
“It’s okay now, Lynn. Let the Meathos take the memory away
now. Just let it go.” As he spoke our body began to relax, and
then slowly Lynn was gone, and I was there, feeling battered and
emotionally exhausted.
For a while Aranon just sat holding me in the pool, letting the
Meathos do it’s soothing, healing work. Finally, he stirred and
then picked me up and carried me from the pool. I was awake, so
he took me to a chair in the conversation area and sat me down.
“Do you want to talk about that?”
“Why did she do that?” I asked. “Why did she make my
brother and I watch while she killed a kitten?”
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“Maybe she didn’t know how disturbing that would be for

you.”
“But when she saw how disturbing it was, why didn’t she
send us away?”
“Why didn’t you run away like your brother did?”
“I wanted to, but she wouldn’t let me. She said I had to help
her bury it. I can still hear that kitten cry when I stepped on the
grave. She said it was just air in it’s lungs, being pressed out by
my weight on it’s grave, but I never believed that for a minute!
She used chloroform on that rag, and I had smelled it before, and
I knew it didn’t make you die; it just made you go away for a while.
I knew that kitty was still alive.”
“How did that make you feel?”
“Like this is what death was like. You get put in a grave and
then you wake up and no one ever comes to let you out.”
“Did you ever try to go back and get the kitten out of the
grave?”
“No, I was too terrified to do that. I remember that night I got
the most awful belly ache, and I prayed and prayed to God not to
let me die.”
“Well,” he said gently, taking my hand, “now we know where
the belly ache came from. We have made a lot of progress today,
Christy. I am very proud of you! He smiled broadly, and gave me
a gentle hug. “I think it’s time we took another break and maybe
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even another vacation. You need time to process this. When we

get back, we’ll put it all together and start the healing process.”
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Thirty-One
“Where are we going?” I asked as I finished my breakfast

and put the dishes into the recycler.
“Where would you like to go?” He asked, wearing a secret
kind of smile.
“Well, of course, I would like to see Remmie again.” I said,
knowing that he already knew that. “Actually, I would like to spend
some time with her family and their Sensarian Teaching Guide.”
“Yes,” he said, grinning even broader, “that would probably
be very enlightening for you.”
“So?” I said, feeling impatient.
“I think that would be a good idea. Actually, it fits in with my
plans very nicely.” This time he winked.
“Okay, why don’t you tell me what your plans are?” I said,
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dieing to know what he had already planned.

“Well, I would like to give each of your aspects an
opportunity to express as separate individuals, and as you
already know, Archana is one place where such an opportunity
exists.”
“So, you want to go to Archana and split me into a bunch of
little pieces?” I wasn’t sure I liked this idea.
“Not permanently,” he said, recognizing my fear. “Just for a
short time, so that each of your aspects has the opportunity to
experience love and acceptance. It will also give each of you the
opportunity to see how the other alters complete them, so that
when you are all reunited you will recognize the power you have
as a whole.”
I thought about this. I wondered what it would feel like to be
split from the other aspects of myself. It had never occurred to me
that we might miss one another, being that it had only been a
short while since I discovered, for a fact, that I was more than just
one person inside my being.
“So how would this work?” I asked. “I mean, are you going to
leave me with Remmie and take the others off someplace else?”
“Lets discuss that. I hadn’t really decided how we would
handle this. You see, one of your aspects has asked me to take
her on a trip, just her and me, and I hadn’t decided how I wanted
to proceed with that.”
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“Really?” I said, feeling angry and not sure why. “And who
might that be? Lynn?”
“Actually, you haven’t met her yet. Her name is Kerry, and
she is what is called your system protector. She’s the one who
held on to all that fear and pain that you were carrying before our
last trip to Archana. Her willingness to return that package to you
was based on my honoring her request to spend some time with
just her. Instead of just putting the rest of you in the background
so that her request could be honored, I thought that it would be
helpful give each of you an opportunity choose an alternative
experience.”
“So what was your plan, Aranon? To just farm us out to
individual families on Archana while you go off on a trip with this
Kerry person?” Now I was really feeing angry.
“There’s an idea,” he said smiling.
“You’ve got to be kidding!” I said, hotly. “I mean that could be
really traumatic for the baby. I can’t even imagine how scary it
would be for Sissy to be left with a family of bears, with human
faces, who live in trees!”
Aranon thought this over, and then produced an indulgent
smile. “I am glad that you are concerned for Sissy,” he said,
gently. “Actually, that had not been my plan.”
“So, what was your plan?” I was becoming impatient with
him.
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Kerry Dennis
“My plan was to give all of you time, together, to get to know
one another, to share your own unique experiences with one
another. This would also give each of you the opportunity to
experience Archana from your unique viewpoints. During that time
I was going to give each of you the opportunity to decide how you
would like to spend a day, together, or separately.“
“Sissy’s too young to know what she wants.”
“Maybe, and then again, she may surprise you.”
I tunneled my fingers through my hair, frustrated, trying to
imagine a whole group of me trudging around Archana. “Aranon,”
I said, “sometimes I think you are crazier than I am.”
“You are not the least bit crazy, Christy. Everything you have
done has been based upon a logical assessment of the needs
and desires that each of you had at the time.”
“Even my bizarre behaviors?” I asked, in disbelief.
“Especially your bizarre behaviors,” he replied, with a gentle
smile. “So, what do you say? Shall we give this a try?”
“Can we take Piddles?” I asked.
“Remmie would be heart broken if we didn’t.”
“Maybe we could arrange to leave Piddles with Remmie and
her family. They love and enjoy him so much and he really needs
that, you know?”
“Let me think about that,” he responded.
“I mean, remember when I told her that I would bring her
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piddles and another dog like him so that they could be the first
dog breeders on their planet?” I asked.
‘Well, at this time that may present a problem in that there
are no little female dogs like piddles that are in need of a home. In
time I may be able to find one, but not at this short of notice.
Nevertheless, I am sure that she and her family would truly enjoy
having Piddles and would probably take very good care of him.
On the other hand, the dog does belong to Andy and he may not
be very willing to give him up.”
“But you said that we should allow Piddles to determine his
own destiny. What if this is what he would like?”
“Well, it’s pretty obvious that he would like to be with you, but
it would be difficult to ask him if he wants to stay with Remmie.”
“Yes, but Remmie can talk with him, so why don’t we have
her ask him when we get there?”
“We could do that,” he replied, with a thoughtful smile.
“Do we have to wait hours and hours before we can go?” I
asked, remembering how long it took last time before we were
given the privilege of landing on Archana.
“Actually, being that you are now recognized as a citizen of
Archana, we could teleport, if you like. I’m sure Remmie could set
it up.”
“How do you talk to Remmie from here?” I asked, not having
seen any radios or communication centers anywhere I had gone
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on Archana.
“Through the Meathos. The Meathos provides both voice
and visual.”
“So instead of going to a phone booth you go to a Meathos
pool?”
“It can be done that way, but it isn’t the most productive
choice when everyone has busy lives.”
He pulled a flat stone from somewhere on his person. I had
yet to see any pockets. He held it up so that I could see it. It
wasn’t exactly a stone, but I couldn’t figure out what it was.
“This is a communicator. It is really a bit of the Meathos
enclosed in what you might call crystal. To use it to communicate
with someone who has a matching communicator I simply hold it
up to my forehead and think of the individual I want to
communicate with.”
“How do they know you are thinking of them? Do they have
to have one of those too? Does it ring, or buzz or something?”
This was fascinating.
“Remmie has one, and she just knows when I am trying to
communicate with her. She is already a part of the Meathos, so to
speak, as the result of the races of Archana being so inter-
connected, so symbiotic.”
“Can I have one?” I asked, thinking of how neat it would be
to call Aranon or Remmie once I got back home to Earth.
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“For that you would probably have to petition the High

Council on Archana.”
“What are my chances,” I asked, hoping he could tell me.
“Good!” He smiled. “Really good. You’ve really charmed the
people of Archana, especially the High Council. I have no doubt
they would give you one if you asked for it. I have to warn you
though, it’s a party line.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means that anyone who is aware of your desire to
communicate with Remmie can listen in. It would certainly bolster
your fan club, I can say that!” He laughed, and his eyes twinkled.
“I’m not sure I’m comfortable with having a fan club,” I said,
feeling embarrassed.
“That may deter a few eavesdroppers.” He gave me a wink,
and then handed me the communicator. “Why don’t you talk to
Remmie? Tell her we will need lodgings for six.” He grinned.
I held the crystal to my forehead and thought of Remmie.
Suddenly, I heard Remmie’s voice, emanating from the flat, oval
crystal.
“Christy! What a splendid surprise!”
I held the crystal out so that I could see it and there, within
the oval, was Remmie’s face, smiling at me. “Wow! This is
wonderful!” I replied, feeling excited by seeing her and hearing
her voice.
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“I was just talking about you with one of my students.”

“I didn’t know you were a teacher.”
“I teach archeology, when I am not busy at a dig with my
friends. Are you coming back for another visit?”
“Yes,” I said, excited now. “Aranon wants me to tell you that
we will be needing lodgings for six.”
“Tell him it’s already done,” she smiled happily. “When will
you be leaving?”
I looked at Aranon, who was happily enjoying himself
watching Remmie and I chat. His eyes met mine and he reached
for the communicator. I handed it to him and he smiled at
Remmie.
“We will need time to pick up Piddles,” he said grinning. “We
couldn’t come without Piddles.”
“Of course not,” said Remmie, “I would be heart broken.”
“Can you arrange for a teleport in about an hour?”
“Just let me know when and we’ll be ready for you.”
“What does she know about hours?” I quipped, reaching for
the device. He returned it to me and I smiled at Remmie and said,
“I’m really looking forward to seeing you again. I’m hoping that I
might be able to stay with you and your family for a day. Would
that be acceptable?”
“Of course, Christy! You can all stay with us, for as long as
you like, for that matter!”
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“Do you have enough room for six more people?” I mean I
didn’t think your home was that big.”
“We have a good rapport with the tree,” she said. “We’ll just
have it add a couple more rooms.”
“Three would probably be enough,’ said Aranon off sides.
“Okay,” Said Remmie, grinning at me. “He’s such a
buttinski!”
“So, I guess I will see you in an hour,” I said, giggling at her
verbal quip. “How do you hang this up?”
“Hang it up?”
“You know, say goodbye?”
“Oh,” she giggled. “You just stop communicating. The
Meathos knows when you are finished.”
“Okay,” I said. “See you soon!” I flipped the communicator in
the air, caught it and then handed it back to Aranon. “That was
fun!”
“Shall we go get Piddles?” He asked putting away the
communicator, although where I couldn’t tell.
“I’m ready, I guess.”
“You’re not sure?”
“I don’t like going to Sam and Jeannie’s. What the heck is
their last name?”
“Weston,” he replied. “And I realize that. I am hoping that
you will eventually get past your distorted view of them. They
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have done a great deal to assist you in your journey. I would hope
that you could find a little gratitude for their willing efforts.”
“For what? Providing Piddles? Providing meals I never get to
eat? For providing a place for you to embarrass the heck out of
me?”
“Exactly!”
We walked quietly through the crowded corridors, Aranon

giving me time to think and me taking advantage of that time.
Finally, I just had to ask him about what had been churning
around in my mind for the past few minutes.
“Did you somehow set up the circumstances at the
Weston’s, just to push me into my game so that you could scare
me into giving it up?”
“Yes.” He said flatly.
“So that was all some kind of elaborate act? Were they all in
on it?”
“Yes,” he repeated.
“Why?” I stopped in the flow of pedestrians and started to
cry, feeling used and betrayed.
Aranon picked me up, and despite my struggles, kept
walking. “I was hoping to help you to see what you were doing.
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You need to see the danger in it, to yourself, and to those around
you.” He explained, calmly. “I believe that the only way you will let
go of your game is through assisting you in seeing where it could
go, in seeing the inappropriateness of it. You had to be willing to
try a different way, and in spite of the fact that things did not go
exactly as planned, it did cause you to rethink your interpretation
of the game and accept an alternative. It was, for the most part a
successful ruse.”
“But you tricked me!” I yelled, balling up my fists and
pounding on his chest.
He stopped for a moment and allowed me my tantrum.
When I stopped, realizing that I wasn’t hurting him, he continued
walking.
“I allowed you an opportunity to experience exactly what you
wanted to experience. If anyone tricked you, it was you. You
tricked yourself into believing that you could manipulate me with
your game. And, if you had not stopped me, it would have been
as real as you were willing to make it.”
“I knew you were all just playing me! I knew it! And when
were you going to tell me the truth about this if you had been able
to pull it off?” I said, feeling confused and angry. I felt that Aranon
had betrayed my trust.
“When you asked.”
“What if I hadn’t asked?”
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Kerry Dennis
“Then I would have told you when it was appropriate.”

“You betrayed my trust in you! You played me for a fool!” I
yelled at him, wanting to hit him again, wanting to pull his hair and
bite him. I felt so used, so…manipulated!
He walked for a short way and then opened the door to an
empty room, a replica of mine and put me down, keeping a grip
on my arm as he closed the door. Then he knelt down in front of
me, and gripping my shoulders forced me to look at him.
“Because, you have been trying to manipulate me into doing
something that is entirely against my nature, against my vows,
and against our pact, I might add. You have wanted to be
spanked so that you could compound your own pain, so that you
could get your pain fix. No matter what I said, no matter how I
tried to assist you in seeing that there were other, more
appropriate means through which to access your past, you have
consistently refused to give up your game. I needed you to see
how dangerous it could become, and in spite of the fact that I
didn’t follow through, you were able to see that. So, essentially,
the plan worked, and I am very glad about that.”
“So why did you stop? Why didn’t you just follow through and
spank me there at the Weston house and embarrass me even
more?”
“Because you were aware of the emotional manipulation,
even if only on a subconscious level. Because I saw the fault in
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my logic and knew that I would be abusing you if I followed

through, on the basis of behaviors on your part, that were
contrived by our complicit actions. Because, I could not reinforce
the perception that you were bad, when in fact you were not; but
rather had been manipulated into acting inappropriately.”
“But the fact is, that you and the Weston’s had conspired to
trick me into asking for a spanking, isn’t it?”
“Yes,” he responded, and I heard the pain in his voice.
I thought about what might have happened if he had
followed through with it. This was a mistake. As soon as I let
myself return to that room in the Weston house, and pictured him
pulling me over his lap I became increasingly angrier. The angrier
I got the more I needed an outlet for it, and more I needed the
outlet, the more frustrated and frightened I became. It was no
wonder to me that suddenly, the game kicked in, with a furry I had
yet to experience.
“But the game isn’t over!” I cried, as the pain in my solar
plexus suddenly became a firestorm. “You said, at that time, that I
could have a spanking any time I felt needed one, and all I had to
do is ask for it. Well, I’m asking for it!”
“Christy, you don’t want to do this right now.”
“Yes I do!” I yelled, anger and betrayal seething within me,
poisoning my objectivity, twisting in my heart like a knife. “You
said I could have it anytime I wanted it! Okay, I want it! I know it’s
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just a fix, but I want it anyway! I want a real spanking, not just a
few smacks either!”
Aranon let go of me and stood up, took a deep breath and
for a moment just looked at me, seemingly uncertain as to what to
do.
“All right,” he said finally, his voice laden with pain as his
eyes filled with tears. “If that’s what it is going to take to put this
behind us, then I guess that is what I will have to do.”
The tears shocked me. Aranon had rarely shown any
emotion other than love and acceptance in response to my erratic
and emotionally intense behaviors. Nevertheless, I was unwilling
to back down.
He went to the synthesizer, in this room that looked like
mine, and began tapping out a code on the keypad. When the
tone sounded he opened the door and withdrew a flesh-colored
disk the size of a silver dollar that appeared as though it were
made of very soft plastic. He returned to the chair, sat down
facing me and held the disk out for me to look at. He then placed
it in the palm of his right hand where it disappeared.
“What was that?” I demanded, angrily.
“It’s called a neural stimulator. When affixed to the palm of
my hand, it will stimulate the nerves in your body in such a way as
to simulate the experience of being spanked. The experience will
seem completely real except that there will be no physical after-
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effects. It wouldn’t work if I hadn’t actually, physically, hurt you in

this way on a previous occasion. The cellular memory has to be
there for it to be restimulated. I won’t lie to you, Christy, it will
become very painful, and the pain will continue to intensify until
you ask me to stop the stimulation process.”
I stood there, still seething with anger, and yet shaking with
fear.
“I said I want a real spanking!” I yelled, as he reached out
and began to pull me over his lap. I pulled away from him,
standing my ground.
“This is as real as you are going to get,” he said, his voice
breaking with intense emotion. “I doubt you will be able to tell the
difference.” His eyes swam with tears, but as yet none had
escaped down his cheeks.
Still, in spite of seeing how genuinely upset all of this was
making Aranon, my brain was being triggered to flood my system
with dopamine, epinephrine, glucocorticoids, norepinephrine and
neuropeptides. My breathing became more and more rapid,
coming in gasps and my legs began to shake. The pain was
building in the pit of my stomach, like a fire approaching the flash-
burn stage.
“We can stop now, Christy,” he stated, his voice rasping, as
though he were breathing in the flames from the fire within me.
“We don’t need to play this out. You needn’t subject yourself to all
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Kerry Dennis
of this pain.” His voice cracked with the pain of knowing in his
heart that once the cycle had begun, I would not be able to agree
to stop it. My need was too great. My rational mind too
overwhelmed by it.
“Do it!” I croaked, driven by my insane need.
Aranon pulled me across his lap, his heart breaking. He
focused his attention on the neural stimulator in his palm, as a
sob slipped past his usually unyielding emotional control. Then,
as the device came to life, the sound of a loud slap coincided with
the incredibly painful sensation of being smacked, and I let out a
blood-curdling scream that tore into his soul. I began to struggle in
his grasp, instinctively trying to cover my backside with my hand.
Then, in my minds eye, flashed a memory from my childhood.
I stood outside my fifth grade classroom, peeking through
the small thin window in the classroom door as my teacher
paddled a boy: one of my classmates. I remembered the initial
loud crack of the paddle on the boy’s buttocks, and the boy’s
initial scream and his struggle to cover his bottom with his hand. I
remembered the teacher stopping and grabbing the boy’s arm,
pinning it behind him to avoid breaking the bones in his hand with
the paddle. When the teacher continued with the paddling and the
boy began to scream again, I remember wishing it was me getting
the paddling.
“Is that enough, Christy? Can we please stop this now?”
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Aranon waited, hopefully, for a response beyond the initial scream

and the attempt to cover my backside with my hand that would
indicate I had changed my mind.
“No!” I said firmly, knowing that it was my addiction saying
this and yet being unable to stop myself. I heard him catch his
breath, as though he were shocked by my reply. I was in the full
throws of my addictive need now; nothing short of mind numbing
pain was going to satisfy that need.
Tears spilled from his eyes as he struggled to produce the
most painful, most terrifying experience possible. He reached
across my body and grabbed my arm and pulled it behind my
back, pinning it with his free hand, just as the teacher in my
flashback had done with the boy. Finally, he refocused his
attention on the neural device and once again, it recommenced
mirroring the experience that my twisted desire for pain and
abuse had created. He allowed himself to experience that pain
with me and to sob with me, as he tried desperately to
comprehend this twisted need.
Suddenly, in the midst of this inconceivable pain and terror,
Meestra stepped in and allowed me to experience everything that
had precipitated this event; including Aranon discussing his
intentions with Sam and Jeannie preliminary to our dinner visit,
although not with Andy, who seemed to divine the importance of
what was happening on his own. She then allowed me to
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experience what Aranon was experiencing, the emotional as well

as the physical pain he was allowing himself to endure with me in
an effort to understand my obsession with the Game. This, in turn,
intensified the pain I was experiencing even more. Then, she
allowed me to feel the desperation and incredible sadness he felt
when he recognized the power that this twisted addiction held for
me. It became more than I could bear.
“Stop! Aranon! Please! Stop!” I tried to scream, after an
indeterminate period of time, amidst the sobs that were racking
through me. I was thoroughly terrified and shocked by the power
and the realness of the experience. “Aranon! Please! Stop!” I
repeated, trying to enunciate the words between desperate
gasps.
He quickly broke his connection with the device and drew in
a ragged deep breath as he struggled to reign in his emotions and
stop the sobs that were racking through his body and his soul. He
pealed the device from his palm and threw it to the floor,
disgusted with it. For a moment we both sobbed deeply and then
he released my arm and drew me up into an embrace,
overwhelmed and shocked by the intensity of the experience he
had generated for me.
“I…never…want…you…to…do…that…again!” I cried,
between sobs and deep gasps for breath. “I…don’t care…if I ask
for it! …Don’t ever…do it…again!”
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I felt deeply ashamed that I had goaded him into doing this,
my previous anger now eclipsed by the terrifying power of the
experience. I brought my hands up and covered my face; unable
to look at him, unable to process the pain and shock I saw in his
eyes and on his face; I continued to sob.
For a few moments, Aranon struggled to compose himself.
“Christy, I care about you too much to allow you to persist in
this self-defeating, self-destructive behavior that will never get you
what you truly want,” he said, after finally regaining his voice. “I
am heartened by your request that I never do it again.
Regardless, even if you had not made that request, I could never
do it again. As I joined you in that experience, I felt the power of it,
I felt what it was doing to the chemistry of your body, and I felt the
seductive, addictive lure of it. I also recognized that eventually,
probably sooner than later, its power would become deadly. I will
not be a party to your physical dissolution in the name of honoring
a commitment, the implications of which I had not yet come to
understand. I understand now, and there will be no more
spankings.”
“Okay,” I sobbed, relaxing in his embrace, my hands falling
away from my face. As I looked up at him and saw the tears in his
eyes and the sheen of tears on his face along with the genuine
shock and pain, my heart broke for him. “I’m so sorry, Aranon. I
never meant to hurt you like that.”
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Kerry Dennis
“It was my choice, Christy. I needed to know exactly what it

was doing to you and for you. I needed to understand your
desperate need for it. I understand it now and from now on we will
use the process we developed to deal with those intense needs.
Eventually, through the use of it’s healing energy, hopefully that
process will eliminate your need for such incredible pain. This is a
very powerful addiction, Christy. Still, if you are committed to
releasing it, you will prevail over it.”
“I meant what I said,” I responded, emphatically. “You must
never, ever, do that to me again. I can see where it could actually
kill me. I don’t want to die that way and I definitely don’t want you
to be the one to cause my death, even though I know that you,
especially you, have the power and the technology to bring me
back. And someday, I am going to go back to Earth, where there
will be no technology like this, no Aranon, no Meathos to bring me
back. I will need to have licked this by then.”
Aranon embraced me as tears of relief filled his eyes. “What
do you say, Christy? Do we go to Archana or do you need more
time to recover from this ordeal?”
“Why do they even like me on Archana, when I am such a
horrible person?” I asked, tearfully.
“Because you are not a horrible person. You are a deeply
spiritual, highly intelligent, creative, caring and sensitive individual
with a few distortions, due to profound abuse. They know you will
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work through it. They can see the light shining through the
darkness you often surround yourself with. They, like I, can see
your incredible potential. Face it Christy, you are loved, in spite of
yourself.” He gave me another hug and kissed me on the
forehead. “No one holds your difficulties against you. Maybe you
could practice not holding them against yourself, as well.”
“I don’t want to be this way, but sometimes I just can’t stop
myself. What will you do if I get stuck in that need again?”
“I think we have that covered now, with the process we
developed. Once you understand where the need comes from, I
know that you will be able to choose to release the behaviors that
have kept you ill for so long. It is not uncommon, my dear, for
individuals who have lived through terrible abuse, to develop
behaviors and to make decisions and choices that perpetuate
their abuse. In such cases pain and abuse become one’s identity
and it is difficult to release that position until one can see the
possibility of developing a new, more self-affirming identity. You
have that opportunity here and now and I am going to do
everything in my power to see that you get the full benefit of that
opportunity.”
I threw my arms around his neck and hugged him tight, tears
still flowing copiously from my eyes. I didn’t know how to respond
to his words, but I knew that he really did care about me and was
truly willing to go to any lengths to prove that to me.
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Kerry Dennis
“I really would like to go to Archana again. Is it too late?”

He smiled broadly, and placed me on my feet on the floor.
He reached down and picked up the disk, got up and placed it in
the recycler. He then took my hand and opened the door. “It’s
never too late, Christy, to do the things that can change our lives,
and bring joy to the lives of others.” He led me back into the
corridor.
“So, the first time you spanked me was real, wasn’t it?” I
asked, still reeling from this most recent experience. “When I
remembered the man in the basement, Mr. Eddy?
“Yes,” he replied, sadly, “that was real. I could not have used
the neural stimulator without an actual experience to connect with.
Nevertheless, it was that initial experience that made me decide
that it must never, physically, happen again.”
“And I have truly decided that even the simulation must
never happen again,” I added honestly, meaning it. “The game is
over! I never want to play it again! Especially when I saw how
much it hurt you…do you suppose that it really did hurt you more
than it hurt me?
“Quite possibly, Dear One. Yes, it quite possibly did. “
Never again, during my remaining time with Aranon at

Anchore Station, did I seek, either through my actions or by direct
request, the pain and abuse of a spanking. I had finally ended the
577
game.
Thirty-Two
By the time that we arrived at the Weston house, I was pretty

much back to normal and looking forward to this trip, and to
Aranon’s experiment of giving each of my alters their own body
for a time. My eyes were probably still red, but I was feeling much
more optimistic. Maybe because I knew that I would never again
succeed in manipulating Aranon into hurting me, or punishing me
and therefore it felt safer to be with him, especially in public.
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Kerry Dennis
Aranon’s knock was met by sharp little barks that soon

became whines and snuffles at the base of the door. Aranon and I
both laughed at this.
“Back for more, I see,” remarked little Andy, peeking around
the door as he opened it.
Aranon shot him a disapproving look as Piddles launched
himself out of the door and began jumping at my feet, squealing
and whining. I picked him up and followed Aranon inside, unable
to pass up the opportunity to stick my tongue out at Andy as I
walked past him.
Jeannie came out of a back room as we walked into the
living room. “Aranon!” She said, with a genuine smile. “What
brings you by?” She continued down the hall and then saw me,
and gave me one of those plastic smiles. “Oh, hello Christy.”
“We came to get Piddles again. I think this time it’s for good.
Are you still wanting to find another home for him?”
“Andy,” she asked, “Are you still willing to give up Piddles?”
Andy came around beside his mother and stood facing us,
looking up at Aranon, his face grim. “I don’t know. Is this the best
thing for Piddles?”
“Piddles thinks it is,” Aranon replied. “Denying him that
choice would probably be unfair to him. Also, he is going to get as
much love and attention as he wants, and I think that would be
very good for him. What do you think, Andy?”
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“I am starting to pay him more attention,” said Andy,

defensively. “I am doing all of the prescribed exercises, Uncle
Aranon. I think I deserve another chance.” He looked from
Aranon, to his mother, but avoided my eyes. “Please,” he whined
in his little baby voice.
“You would deny piddles his choice?” Asked Aranon. “Or is it
that you would deny Christy his company? The truth is, Andy, she
will not be keeping him. Like you, Andy, she is much too involved
in her process to be capable of meeting his needs adequately.”
“So then where will he be going?” He asked, with a shocked
look on his face.
“To a family on Archana, where they are not only better
equipped to care for him, but can also converse with him and ask
him what he wants and needs. Now wouldn’t that be nice for
Piddles?” Asked Aranon.
Andy shook his head and stamped his little foot. “I want to
keep him!”
“Lets you and I go have a private talk.” Aranon picked Andy
up and carried him down the hall.
“I don’t spank!” I heard Andy yell before a door closed.
“So, Christy,” said Jeannie, “are things going better for you?”
“You don’t have to be nice to me if you don’t want to,
Jeannie. I don’t have anything invested in you liking me,” I said,
trying to relieve the tension.
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Kerry Dennis
A shocked look swept across her face like a dark cloud. “I’m
not sure I understand what you are saying.”
“You don’t have to be nice to me; you don’t have to make
small talk; you don’t even have to have me in your house if you
don’t want to. I can wait outside.”
“Christy, why don’t we go into the kitchen and have some
tea.” She gave me a real smile and put her arm around me and
led me into the kitchen. “Do you like tea?”
“Sure,” I said, a little shocked by her response. She indicated
a chair and I sat down while she busied herself with making tea.
Once it was brewing, she came and sat down across from me.
“Christy,” she began, looking me in the eye, “I don’t dislike
you. I don’t even know you. All I know about you is that you are
one of Aranon’s charges right now and that you seem to require a
lot of attention.” Tears jumped into my eyes, as I was triggered
into reliving an incident in my past where I had been accused of
just wanting attention. She immediately jumped up and came over
to me, putting her arm around me. “Oh, Honey, I didn’t mean to
hurt your feelings. I’m not sure what it was that I said that caused
you to feel hurt, but what ever it was, I’m sorry. I would like to get
to know you. I would like to be your friend, if you’ll let me. Sam
thinks you are extremely talented and he says you have a good
soul. Sam is almost always right.” She pulled her chair around the
end of the table and sat next to me, taking my hands in hers. “Can
581
we please start over?”

“Okay,” I replied, feeling ashamed by my behavior.
She got up and brought the tea to the table and filled two
cups, handing me one. Then she went and got what looked like a
jar of honey! I love tea and honey! She shoved my tea over to me
and put the honey between us. “Okay, so you are obviously from
twentieth century Earth, USA, mid west maybe. Tell me where
you’re from.”
“I’m from Phoenix, Arizona, 1968.”
“Oh my gosh! The hippy generation! Me too!”
“Did you live in a commune?”
“Now I know who you are! You’re Crazy Christy!” She raised
her hand to her mouth, in abject embarrassment, her face going
white. “Oh God! I’m sorry, you lived in the same commune I did! It
was extremely unkind of us to call you that. I was just a kid then;
Bob and Charli’s kid. Do you remember me? You used to play
with me all the time.”
“You’re all grown up! You couldn’t be! It was just two years
ago!” I was shocked when she mentioned Bob and Charli; the
only real married couple in the group. Their daughter was only
nine. At most she could be twelve, but most likely eleven.
“Oh you’ll get used to all that time stuff after a while,” she
said, using her hand to brush it away. “I was rescued when I was
nineteen, from a crashing airplane, while flying out to start my first
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Kerry Dennis
semester at Pen State. I would have majored in commercial art.

So, technically, I was rescued after you were. Nevertheless, I
have been here for five years. You see, time means nothing to
them.”
“Oh,” I said, realizing that Aranon had mentioned that they
could go back and forward in time.
“Yeah, well I’m still crazy.”
“You don’t seem crazy to me. Not now. You do seem to be
burdened with a lot of pain. I’m sorry if anything I did or said back
then caused you more pain.”
“No, you were probably my best and only friend, especially
at the end, before they insisted that I call my parents and get
them to send me a ticket home. I required too much attention
back then too. I used to wish that your daddy would adopt me, but
that was a silly fantasy. Even at twenty-one I needed too much
from those who showed me even the slightest consideration.
Even you. I even became too dependent on you, and you were
just a little kid.”
“I always thought you were fun! None of the other adults had
time for me, but you just became a kid and played whatever I
wanted to play. Actually, come to think of it, you were an
important grounding factor in my life at a time when I could have
been very vulnerable. Shortly after you left, we left. Daddy didn’t
think he wanted to stay with a group that was so wrapped up in
583
their free love and drugs that they couldn’t give real love and
compassion to those who truly needed it. I think if you had asked
him to adopt you, he may have said yes.” She smiled, and then
giggled. “Remember when you used to read me science fiction
books under the covers while all the adults were humping?”
I laughed. It was a deeply satisfying laugh. I used to love this
kid! She always knew exactly what was going on, but she chose
to ignore it. She vowed she would never take drugs or get horny
for everything in pants. She was going to be an artist! She was
going to be a fashion designer! She was keeping that promise
when she came within a hair’s breadth from death. I realized that I
still loved her. I put my arms around her while we laughed and
giggled and then just hugged.
While we were drinking our tea and laughing, swapping
commune stories, Aranon and Andy came into the kitchen. Andy
saw Piddles curled in my lap sleeping and gave me a glare that
dripped jealousy.
“Okay, Piddles will be joining us,” Said Aranon. He looked at
each of us, and his face changed. He raised an eyebrow in a
questioning look. “I see you two have had time to get to know
each other.”
“No, we have had time to discover that we already knew
each other,” said Jeannie. “This is the lady I told you about that
kept me safe in the commune. We have been reminiscing. It’s
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Kerry Dennis
been wonderful!”
“Isn’t it amazing how the Source Of All Being draws us
together at the most unexpected times and in the most
unexpected places?” Aranon’s face now filled with delight.
“You know her, Mommy?” Asked Andy as he leaned his
head on her lap.
“Yes. She helped me through a very difficult time and place
in my life.” She pet his head, running her fingers through his hair.
“I don’t have to like her,” he said, his head still in his
mother’s lap.
“You do have to be polite,” she said, giving his hair a little
tug.
“She stuck her tongue out at me!” He countered.
“Yes I did,” I said, feeling the need to be honest. “I’m sorry I
did that, Andy. Will you forgive me?”
“You just want to take my dog,” he said, cynical beyond his
years. His mother tugged on his hair again. “Well she does!” He
pushed away from his mother and ran out of the room.
“You have to excuse Andy. His Intellectual development is
way ahead of his emotional and physical development, and this
leaves him frustrated. In many ways, he is still just a baby. I think
he is jealous of you, Christy. Piddles isn’t very fond of him most of
the time. And his Uncle Aranon is spending all his time with you.
And now mommy likes you too. He has to get used to sharing his
585
world with others. It’s hard for him.”

“Thanks for explaining it like that,” I said. “I have been having
a very hard time relating to him. I’m sorry if I did or said anything
that was unkind.
“Hey, sometimes I wan’a stick my tongue out at him too, just
so he can see how silly we are being!”
“Maybe you should,” said Aranon, chuckling. “It’s about time
we go, Jeannie. I am so glad that the two of you have
rediscovered one another! I think Christy should visit with you
again, next time on her own. Maybe, if there is time we can set a
date when we get back from Archana.”
“I’d like that!” She said, and then got up to walk us to the
door.
I shifted Piddles into my Arms and got up too. “I would like
that too.” I smiled at her as we went out the door. She tossed me
a kiss, like she did as a kid, and I tossed one back.
As we reached the end of the sidewalk leading from the
Weston house, Aranon took out his communicator and held it to
his forehead.
“Are you ready for transfer?” Came Remmie’s voice.
“Ready on this end,” replied Aranon, smiling down at me.
“Okay, grab on, take a deep breath and count to ten,” She
giggled, all the way from Archana.
Aranon put his arm around me and drew me close as I
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hugged piddles tightly. I took a deep breath and then mentally

counted to ten. The scene around us blurred and shifted and then
we were standing on a transport square and Remmie was
standing at the edge of the raised golden square. Her face lit up
immediately, as we stepped down, and she rushed to me, giving
me a welcoming hug and Piddles an affectionate pat.
“I can’t wait to hear what you have planned, Aranon,” she
said, giving him a hug as well. “It looks to me like there are only
the three of you.”
“We are probably going to need the okay of the High Council
to complete the rest, and I would imagine that we will need the
energy of the Think-See to do it, but it promises to be an
interesting experiment. I’ll explain it when we get to your place.”
“Well then, lets not waist time.” She led us back on to the
square and nodded to the Sensarian operator, and a second later
we were standing in Remmie’s kitchen. “I’ll just make some
refreshments, and we can relax and talk.”
Aranon and I sat down at the table, while Remmie busied
herself with putting together the refreshments. After a few
moments, she came to the table with a tray, laden with fruit and
what looked like little sandwiches, a beautiful crystal pitcher filled
with a rosy liquid and three earthen mugs. It had been a while
since I had eaten, so I grabbed one of the sandwiches and took a
bite. It tasted a lot like peanut butter and jelly. I think I gobbled
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three of them before Remmie caught my eye and grinned.

“You like those!” She said, happily. “I was hoping that you
would.”
“Tastes like peanut butter and jelly,” I said. “My inner kids
love that! You must think I’m starving, but it’s just so good I can’t
get them to stop!”
“We don’t have real peanuts here,” she explained, “but we
do have a nut that is close in taste. The jelly, I made from koaga
fruit, that big red fruit there,” she pointed to the fruit in the bowl.
The bread was a challenge. We have no ovens, as we have never
found the need to cook. But my archeology team found what
looked like one in a dig last year, and I have spent the last few
months trying to understand the principles that made it work. I
finally realized that all I really needed was a way to concentrate a
medium heat in a small earthen box, like the ones we cure our
crockery in, and that seemed to do the trick. The hardest part was
finding out what went into making bread. That took a whole team
of researchers a week to master, but there you have it! I am so
glad that it pleases you. My family seems to find it pleasing too. I
learned a lot about the Earther diet when I was on Anchor, and
have been trying to reproduce most of my favorite dishes ever
since I got back.”
“It’s wonderful!” I said, relishing yet another of the small
sandwiches. “I am amazed that you spent so much time
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developing it. Obviously, you have many talents.”

“When I like something, I get a little obsessive about it.” She
said, her face beaming with pride. “But it generally pays off.”
“Remmie is not content with just studying the past,”
commented Aranon, also relishing a sandwich. “She wants to
reproduce it.”
“Yes, well the Council isn’t always happy about that. There
are a lot of things from the past that they would rather I left well
enough alone.” Her face grew pensive for a moment. “In some
cases, I think they are probably right in their desire to dissuade
me. Some things are best left in the past.”
“Yes, but bread and jelly, sure aren’t one of them,” I said,
licking the jelly off my fingers. She and Aranon laughed.
“Okay, Aranon, what’s the plan?” Asked Remmie.
“What I would like to do is give Christy’s individual aspects a
chance to express through their own physical bodies, like we did
with Lynn the last time we were here. Only this time I would like
the forms to persist for a while, so that they can get to know one
another, and experience life in a controlled environment, where
they can all feel safe.”
“So what are we looking at here?” She asked. “I gather there
are four of them. Are they all female? What are their ages?”
“There is one male and three females. The first one is Sissy,
a female who is about three years old. The second is Lynn, whom
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you know. The third is a boy, Davy, who is around nine. The
fourth is Kerry, whose age is yet to be determined, but appears to
be a teenager,” Aranon explained. “Kerry and I will be taking a
short trip; something I promised her in return for some much
needed assistance. In order to do that, I need a safe environment
for the others to stay. Of course, I thought of you and your family
as a means through which to make this possible.”
“Well, we may need to call in another Sensarian Teaching
Guide to help out, but I think it’s doable.”
“I think we will only need three rooms,” said Aranon. I hope
you didn’t make more than that.”
“I was listening, Aranon. In spite the fact that you were such
a buttinski.” She grinned at him.
“I like the word. Are you still studying English slang?” Asked
Aranon with a grin.
“I have graduated to reading books. Your culture has so
many wonderful books, Christy. I find them almost as absorbing
as the Think-See, but if you repeat that, I’ll deny it.” She giggled
conspiratorially, as she gave me a friendly hug.
“What’s your favorite author?” I asked.
“There are so many! And so many categories! I think I like
novels best, but your history is very interesting. I believe that I am
discovering a great many parallels between what we are
uncovering about our own previous culture; which we are now
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starting to investigate openly thanks to you, Christy; and your own

culture in your present time. That is why I am so interested in your
history. I would like to see if there was some sort of turning point,
where Humanity started loving their machines more than each
other.”
“I can answer that one,” I said. “Humanity has always had a
difficult time loving one another. Machines just gave them new
and more ingenious ways of hurting and killing one another. But
then that got too scary, because they suddenly realized that they
were rapidly becoming capable of destroying the whole planet
with just the push of a button. So they turned to machines for
communication and travel, as well as for policing the world, to
make sure nobody pushed that button. That’s about where they
are right now.”
“I see,” said Remmie, her face rapt with fascination. “Do you
think things would have been different if you had all been
psychically connected, like we are?”
“Are you kidding?” I asked. “I have no way of knowing how
things would be different, but I know for a fact they would be. I
believe that we would not have the warring spirit that we have,
and that we would probably have only one government that
everyone would participate it in. I don’t think we would have
money. I also don’t think we would have as much mechanization.
Most of our mechanization was born out of the ingenuity of
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individuals who were conscripted by governments to develop

more effective ways of making war. We probably would have
developed rapid transportation, better medicine and more
effective ways of feeding and housing the masses. We probably
would have developed a planetary spirituality, and thus, because
we are a curious lot, would have developed astrophysics in hopes
of exploring the universe that houses us.”
“So, you would probably have developed much like we have.
Interesting.” She looked back to Aranon. “Would you like to see
the rooms?”
“That would be nice,” he said, getting up.
“The traditional format of a family dwelling is that the small
children are housed above the adults and elder children, and are
supervised, from the time of their birth, by a Sensarian Nurse and
Teaching Guide, who become the children’s second parents. The
Siminian parents provide the food and housing for the Nurse and
the Teaching Guide, and the space for the children to be cared for
and trained by them. We as parents can participate as much and
as often in this process as we would like. Anyway, the children’s
rooms are always upstairs.” We all climbed the stairs to the next
level.
The last time I had come to this level, Remmie’s children
where here with their Teaching Guide. Today, the open playroom-
classroom was empty. It now contained one more table a little
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larger than the one already there. Another thing I noticed was that
there were two more doors on the periphery of the room. Remmie
went to one of the doors and opened it, to reveal two beds
bracketing a large round window that allowed the ambient light to
flow in. The window was inset into the wall of the room, there
being about three feet to the end of the short tunnel where the
actual glass was, if it was glass. I was suddenly reminded of the
book by J.R.R. Tolkien called ‘The Hobbit’.
“This could be the girl, Lynn’s room, the eight year old.” She
said. “I know, there are two beds. I wasn’t really sure of what you
would need. Maybe the extra bed will be useful in case the little
one is uncomfortable in the nursery with my children.”
“Good thinking,” said Aranon.
She went to the next door and opened it. It had only one
bed. “This could be the boy, Davy’s room. He gets to bunk alone
because he is a boy, and he is too old for the nursery, and too
young to bunk downstairs with Aranon.”
“If he becomes too frightened about being alone, can we
bend those rules a little, too?” Asked Aranon.
“You may have to take it up with the Teaching Guide, but I
don’t see why not. You are visitors, and you are also aliens who’s
customs differ.”
“The Little one will sleep in the nursery with my children, if
she is willing. I have a feeling that she will be comfortable with
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that. Her physical and psychological development is probably very

close to that of my own children, and they are not so physically
dissimilar as to be frightening to her. There is also the Nurse,
present all night, to see to their needs. Hopefully she will not be
frightened of the Sensarian Nurse.”
“We will see to it that she gets to meet a Sensarian as soon
as she gets her own little body, so she can see that we are not
afraid, and that they are kind and gentle.” I said, deciding that I
was also part of this experiment and should have a say.
“Also a good idea,” said Aranon, smiling and giving me a
wink.
“The other girls room is downstairs because she is no longer
a child. As a matter of fact, you will be sharing that room with her,
Christy. At least while she is here.”
“That’s good,” I said, not sure if it would be or not, but willing
to give it a try.
“She is too old for the training process that the smaller
children get, but I will ask for a special Teaching Guide for her,
and you too, Christy, that is if that’s what you would like.
“Actually,” I said, hesitantly, not wanting to be improper, “I
was hoping to be able to spend time with the Esteemed Aldalgo.”
“Ah,” Said Remmie. “Well, maybe that can be possible.
During the time that the other is on her trip with Aranon?”
“That would be fine,” I conceded.
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“Good! Then it’s all settled. I suppose you will be wanting to

go to the High Council now, right Aranon?”
“Yes, that would probably be the thing to do next. Christy,
you will need to go with me, as it is your aspects that will I will be
petitioning to be separated from you, and I suppose you should
go too, Remmie, being that you will be housing them all.”
“Oh I plan to be there,” she said, grinning at him. “This will
be an historic event, and I for one want to be present!”
“Well, then,” smiled Aranon, “I guess we best be going.”
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Thirty-Three
We took Remmie’s shortcut to the Grand Council Plaza,

where there was everything from courts of law, to ceremonial
halls, to the Grand Council chambers themselves. Generally,
when the Grand Council was approached with a request, it was
done in a small chamber, just large enough for the petitioner, his
supporters and the Council members themselves. But this
petitioner was renowned, and the speculation as to what it was
had drawn a huge crowd. So, the Grand Council had been moved
to one of the great ceremonial halls to accommodate the
thousands who came to see and hear the petitioner’s request.
Remmie explained all this when Aranon wanted to know where
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we were going.
“You don’t think I could have kept this a secret, do you
Aranon?” She said. “You and Christy are big news now, and I am
certain our call was monitored by legions! You know that I am in
constant contact with those in my core group, and they with their
families, and they with their friends and neighbors. I mean it just
goes on and on. The price we pay for being in and of one mind. I
am sure the whole thing will be broadcast to every available
communicator in the known galaxy. This is the biggest event on
this planet since Christy’s Citizenship Ceremony!”
“What is it about me that has them all acting like I am a rock
star?” I asked.
“You were willing to share yourself, your feelings, your hopes
and dreams with us on our level. No off-worlder has ever done
that before. But you are much more important and loved than a
rock star. You are a child of the stars who has come home. You
have become one of us, and because you cannot access our love
and our awe of you through your consciousness, psychically, your
family is here to show their support in the only way they know
you can experience it right now.”
“Wow!” I said feeling overwhelmed. “But I’m just a crazy kid
from Phoenix. I really still don’t understand.”
“I think that is the most charming thing about you,” she said,
giving me a hug. “You don’t desire power or control. All you desire
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is to understand.”
“Well,” I said, thinking over what she said. “I guess you’re
right about that. I have a hard enough time controlling myself, a
difficulty that will probably diminish as I gain more understanding.
I just hate to disrupt your normal lives like this. I mean I am sure
that all these people have better things to do. How is it that they
knew we would be coming now?”
“There is no higher purpose than to seek understanding and
to support those we love in doing the same. As soon as you
arrived, they knew you were here, and probably started showing
up for the petition hearing shortly thereafter.” She smiled at me
softly and touched my face. “I feel so honored to be able to play
such an important part in your search for understanding.”
“Golly,” I said, feeling about as embarrassed as I have ever
been.
I think they all had the wrong idea about me. Surely, if they
could see into my consciousness, they could also see what a
mess it is. How in blazes does singing a couple of songs and
holding a child make me a celebrity?
When we entered the great hall, a hush rushed across the
masses that were jammed in there. Remmie led us down the
center isle, and the Council members stood to greet us as we
approached. Gosh I was nervous. This was Aranon’s thing. I
didn’t have a clue how it would be accomplished, but I worried
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that it might hurt. At that moment, Remmie put her arm around me
and gave me a gentle smile.
The Most High of the High Council; the same wizened
Sensarian who questioned me and presented me with the medal
that’s the symbol of my citizenship; motioned toward a set of
steps that led up to the dais upon which their chairs stood behind
a gleaming wooden table.
Remmie walked beside me up the steps as we followed
Aranon, who was quite a figure, in his white, shiny, skin-tight
coverall, his olive skin and his platinum hair. Now him I would
come to see! We took our place beside Aranon, facing the
council. Aranon bowed, so Remmie and I bowed. The Council
bowed back and took their seats. I guess we were supposed to
stand.
“Present your petition!” Said the Most High.
“I petition the Council for permission to use the Think-See to
perform an experiment which may prove highly beneficial to my
charge.”
“Explain the experiment.”
“My charge has a unique experiential-based condition. She
has experienced profound physical, emotional and psychic
trauma that has shattered her consciousness into five separate
identities. I wish to give her four inner identities their own physical
bodies, for a period of three of your solar days. The purpose of
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this is to give all five of these individuals the opportunity to get to

know, to trust and to love one another so that they might
henceforth work together towards attaining their common goal of
understanding and the sharing of that understanding.
“It is my feeling that if they are able to express in their own
bodies, as they perceive themselves, in a safe and controlled
environment, that they would discover their strengths and their
inner connection. It is my contention that once they are separated,
and validated as individuals, they will spontaneously develop non-
verbal communication, laying the groundwork for the development
co-consciousness when they are returned to the host body. This
would also provide me with the means of honoring a promise that
I made to one of the identities, concerning a trip for just her and I.
If you grant this petition, you will be assisting in the healing of this
fractured one,” he indicated me, “as well as furthering our
understanding concerning this rare but rapidly increasing
condition.” He bowed and then remained silent.
“Come, stand before me,” said the Most High, motioning to
me. I looked around and then realized he actually meant me. I
went up to the table and stood before him.
“Is this what you would like?” He asked.
“How could I know?” I asked. “It has never been done
before, ever. I have no idea what it would feel like to be split into
five different bodies. But after hearing what Aranon just said, I
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think it might be a good thing. I am for anything that helps all of

me to understand and to grow into one mind. Being all broken like
this is no picnic, believe me.”
The Most High smiled at me and then conferred with the
others, silently, on another level while they all sat ram-rod
straight, their eyes flickering. I shifted from one foot to another,
feeling self-conscious standing there.
“Are you prepared to become separated?” asked The Most
High, finally looking me in the eye.
“Is there something I should do to become prepared?” I
asked, feeling that if there was, I should know about it.
“Your willingness is all that is required,” He said, smiling
kindly.
“Okay then,” I said. “I’m ready. I’m prepared.”
He nodded and the others at the table nodded, and then
there arose singing from the crowded hall, and the room became
filled with an electricity that was palpable. Somewhere, in the
midst of all of this, I felt myself becoming dizzy, and then feint,
and I felt Aranon grab me and lift me into his arms. Cheers roared
through the hall and opened my eyes and looked around. There,
before Aranon, Remmie and I, in a row before the table stood four
children, two little girls, a little boy, and a teenaged girl.
“Wow!” I said, and Aranon smiled at me and then put me
down. I walked up to each of them, who seemed terrified, and
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looked in their eyes. Sissy was sniveling and sucking her thumb. I
went to her and picked her up. Even at three, she was very petite
and easy to hold.
“Okay, you guys, listen up. You are not on Earth anymore
and so everything is gonna seem a little strange, but don’t be
scared, because Aranon, Remmie, and I will take care of you and
keep you safe.” Lynn walked over to Aranon and took his hand,
smiling up at him.
“You used to live inside this body here,” I pointed to myself,
“and after a little while, you will all go back to this body. But until
then, you get to be who you are, and we are all going to get to
know each other. This is a gift, from the wonderful people who live
on this planet. They have agreed to help us do this. Now, do you
see me being all scared?” They all shook their heads as one. “Do
you see me being excited and happy about the opportunity to get
to meet all of you as individuals and get to know you?” They all
nodded as one. “Great! So, lets all smile, like Lynn is doing, and
then bow to these nice people behind the table here. Lynn, come
stand by us for a minute and lets all bow.” Lynn took her place in
the line, while I continued to hold Sissy who was now wide eyed
and watching everything. I bowed to the High Council and they all
did so as well, in time with me. “Now, we turn around and we bow
to all the nice people who lent their energy to make it possible for
us to all be our separate selves.” We all turned as one, and
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bowed as one, as another cheer arose from the crowd. I then led
my little brood down the stairs and down the center isle, as a
befuddled Aranon and Remmie hurriedly followed us. Once we
had reached the back of the hall, I stopped and waited for
Remmie.
“What’s the fastest way back to your place through the least
amount of people?” I asked. Remmie laughed.
“You sure do know how to take charge, don’t you?” She
grinned. “That was awesome!”
“Remmie, these kids are all feeling really vulnerable, and
they need to be in a safe and private place so they can grasp
what has happened to them.”
Suddenly, her face grew sober and she looked at the
children’s confused faces. “Of course,” she said. “Follow me.”
She led us through the entryway, and then through a side
door, down a corridor and into a private office. Once we were all
inside, including Aranon, she closed the door.
“Where are we?” I asked, looking around the office. It had a
big desk, and many soft chairs scattered around the room, almost
like a sitting room.
“It’s my fathers office. He meets here with individuals from
other worlds to set up trade agreements. He and Mother are off
planet right now.”
“Oh,” I replied. Then I turned to Aranon. “I would like to
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introduce you to the kids,” I said.

“I already know everyone but Davy.” He walked over to Davy
and put out his huge hand. “Hello, Davy, I’m Aranon. I’m very glad
to meet you.”
“Are you a giant?” Asked Davy, awestruck by Aranon’s size.
“Not on my world,” replied Aranon, with a gentle smile. “Do
you know what has happened, Davy?”
“Nope,” he said, shaking his head.
“Up until just a little while ago,” explained Aranon, “You lived
inside of Christy’s body. Did you know that?”
“Nope, but that’s what she said”, he replied, pointing at me.
“That’s okay, you should be able to understand soon. In the
meantime, you get to have your own body, the body you always
wanted, for three whole days.”
“You mean I am a real boy?” He asked.
“Would you like to go somewhere private and look?” Asked
Aranon, with an understanding smile.
Davy didn’t reply, but rather stuck his hand down into his
jeans and felt himself, his eyes growing big and then a gleeful
smile overtook his face. “Yippee!” He cried, excitedly jumping up
and down, “I’m a real boy! I can pee standing up!”
Aranon bellowed with laughter and knelt down and gave
Davy a loving hug. “I’m glad that makes you happy,” he said, his
eyes filled with the tears of laughter. “I am sure you will enjoy the
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next three days as much as the rest of us!”

He then went to Kerry, who had been standing with her arms
folded across her chest, looking left out. “You and I are going to
take a trip, girl.” He produced a devilish grin and a wink. “And we
are going to be really alone together.” He did that Tom Selleck
thing with his eyebrows again. I had to smile. “Maybe on that trip
you can get a feeling for what it is like to be a person with feelings
of your own instead of spending all your time being on guard duty
and walking sentry. You might even discover that you can have
fun!”
“Yeah, well, maybe,” she said, on the defensive, as usual.
“And you might just take me somewhere and dump me, too.”
“I couldn’t dump you for long,” he replied, chuckling. “After
three days you, Cinderella-Kerry, will go back to being part of the
system again. No matter where you are, that’s where you will go
after three days. But in those three days, you could choose to
take on a different role. You could choose to become the
Pathfinder, for instance. Does that have an interesting ring to it?”
“It might,” she replied, interested, buy wary.
Aranon then went to Lynn. “How do you like this, Kiddo?
Now you have a whole family, and they are all part of you! Isn’t
this fun?”
“Yes,” she said, and then laughed her little kid laugh, “it is!”
He then came to me, and took Sissy from my arms. Her
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eyes were wide as saucers, as this giant picked her up, but she
didn’t cry. He’d been talking to everyone else and she could see
that he was a nice giant. But, OOOH! He was SOOO big! He set
her in the crook of his arm and looked her in the eye.
“You are a very brave little girl, Sissy. Will you be my little
princess?”
“Do I has to dance or sing on ever you say so?” She asked,
chewing on her fingers, while twisting her hands in front of her
face.
“Not unless you want to,” He smiled. “All you have to do to
be my little princess is to play and have fun.”
“Weelly?”
“Absolutely!”
“I wanna be yer lidle princess!” She said, smiling and
nodding, her clutched hands nodding up and down with her little
head.
“Wonderful!” He exclaimed, happily, dancing her around the
room in his arms as she giggled and laughed. Then he stopped.
“Okay, everyone, while you are enjoying your three days, with a
body of your very own, you will be staying with Remmie, and her
family.” He waved his free hand at Remmie, who was just taking
this all in like a sponge. She bowed to the kids and smiled.
“Are you a real live teddy bear?” Asked Davy.
“No,” replied Remmie. “I am a real live Siminian, and you are
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on the planet Archana. You will be staying in my house, which by

the way is inside a tree.” That drew an excited grin from Davy. “I
will be your host and your guide while you are on my world. You
will also get to meet my husband, and my two children, as well as
their Teaching Guide and Nurse, who are of the same race as
those men you bowed to in that big room filled with my people.
“My appearance may seem different, or maybe even scary,
but I assure you, that I am just a person, just like you, and so is
Aranon. No matter how different we look to other people, each of
us, you included, are special and have much to share with one
another. You will find that we have a lot more in common than you
might think right now. I am really looking forward to getting to
know each of you, and am also looking forward to your getting to
know me. I think we are going to have a wonderful three days.”
She smiled at each of them and they all smiled back, even Kerry,
who seemed intrigued by her. “Okay, then. What we need to do
now is get you all settled in, and the fastest way to do that is to go
to the nearest teleporter. So, if you will all follow me, we will do
that now.”
Remmie led us from the room and through a maze of
hallways to a teleporter in a small rotunda. She instructed
everyone to stand on the raised square beside her. It was a tight
fit, but with me holding Sissy, and Aranon holding Lynn, we all
made it. Then she nodded to the operator and we were all
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suddenly in Remmie’s kitchen. Thank goodness it had been

enlarged!
“Okay, now,” she said, as they all recovered from the rush of
being one place and then another an instant later. “Lynn, Sissy
and Davy, if you will come with me, I will show you where you will
be staying. I put Sissy down, Aranon put Lynn down, and the
three dutifully followed Remmie. I decided that I wanted to make
sure that they would be okay, so I followed after them. At the top
of the stairs, I heard giggles, and as I arrived at the top I could
see my kids pointing and laughing at Remmie’s children. I
imagine it was because they were unclothed, as is the Siminian
way. I pushed around Remmie, who didn’t quite know how to
handle this situation and stood before my kids.
“What is so funny?” I asked, my face as stern as I could get
it.
“They got no clothes on,” said Davy, smirking.
“That’s because children don’t wear clothes on this world. In
fact, none of the Siminians wear clothes. The adults grow fur, but
they don’t wear clothes. They have never needed them. It is not
cold here, so they have never had to wear clothes to keep warm.
They don’t have the same beliefs as we do either. They don’t
believe that their bodies are evil, dirty or bad. This is not your
world it’s theirs. You are just visitors and I expect you to be kind
and respectful toward the people who live here, and especially
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toward the children of our host. Do you all understand me?” They
nodded, reluctantly. “Okay then, I want you to apologize to
Remmie and her children for your behavior.”
They all muttered “sorry” to Remmie and then to her two
children, who stood, confused by all of this, beside their Teaching
Guide. Aldalgo smiled at them and motioned for them to come
join Remmie’s children in an activity in progress at one of the
small tables. With a subdued temperament, maybe out of
embarrassment, they joined them as Aldalgo drew up small chairs
for them to sit on. I finally felt that everything was going to be all
right, so I decided to leave them in Aldalgo’s care.
Remmie and I descended the stairs and found Aranon and
Kerry sitting at the kitchen table.
“How are the little ones doing?” Asked Aranon, smiling.
“They were behaving badly,” I said. “They were laughing and
making fun of Remmie’s kids because they are naked.”
“Ah,” said Aranon. “I was wondering how that would effect
them.”
“Christy handled it quite well,” said Remmie, smiling and
giving me an affectionate hug. “Actually, it worried me at first, but
after Christy talked to them, they settled right down. I think
everything is going to be all right.”
“Wonderful!” Said Aranon, smiling broadly. Then he slapped
the table in front of Kerry, and she jumped as though a gun had
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gone off. “What do you say we go take a little trip?” He said,

looking into her eyes and grinning at her startled look. When she
didn’t respond, he got up and went around the table and put his
hands on her shoulders. “I promised you a special trip,” he said,
softly. “Would you like to go now, or wait a while?” He kneaded
her shoulders, gently, attempting to relax her. Still, she didn’t
respond, her face set in an angry glare. “Okay, then, lets just take
a walk and you can see a little of this amazing culture.” He took
her arm and pulled her from the bench and then took her hand.
“Come on,” he said, leading her toward the door, “let’s go
explore.”
Aranon led Kerry out the door, and Remmie and I sat down
at the table facing one another, looking at each other, tiredly,
across the shiny wood tabletop.
“Do you think they are going to be okay?” I asked her,
wondering if all this had been such a great idea.
“Aranon knows how to reach even the hardest cases,”
replied Remmie, gently, patting the arm that I had rested on the
table.
“No, I mean with the kids, the little ones. Do you think they
will be able to adjust to all this strangeness?”
“The Esteemed Aldalgo is as capable as Aranon, especially
with children. I am sure that he will be able to handle whatever
comes up. Why don’t we make a meal for everyone? My husband
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will be home soon, and mealtime is always a good time for

everyone to get to know each other. No matter what culture one
finds oneself in, people will always have to eat. I think mealtime is
a universal tradition and a good way for people of different
cultures to bond.”
“I guess you are right,” I said. We got up and Remmie began
to show me how to prepare a Siminian meal.
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Thirty-Four
Amid the glow of florescent leaves and moss and the bright
shafts of sunlight dancing between leafy branches, to the rhythm
of a wind high above the treetops, Aranon and Kerry walked. She
had yet to say anything, still wearing her armor of anger and
distrust. She walked along, looking mostly at her own feet, afraid
of confronting the strangeness around her. She was totally off
balance, unable to protect anyone but herself and uncertain she
would be capable of doing that.
Aranon gave her hand a gentle squeeze. “Look around you
Kerry! Look at this fantastic place! We are walking on a road, high
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up in a forest of giant trees!” He waved his hand to indicate their

surroundings. “Be an observer for just a few moments. A good
warrior has to be a good observer, has to become intimately
aware of their surroundings, so as to be able to develop the best
strategy in case of a confrontation.”
Kerry looked up, quickly scanning her environment, noting
nooks in deep shade where she could hide if need be. Then, as
she continued to investigate a sense of awe came over her,
especially as she looked up and saw nothing but the glowing
leaves of the trees and an occasional twinkle of sunlight. It was
the enormity of the trees that really got to her. There were also
the sounds of birds singing and children playing. The air was crisp
and fresh, and in the background, the roar of the upper branches,
as they were rustled by the wind.
“Wow!” She said, breathlessly. This was definitely an alien
world and it took her breath away.
“I think this is one of my favorite worlds,” Said Aranon,
smiling. “Not only is it beautiful, but so are the inhabitants. A rare
gem among planets.”
“How come they all speak English?” She asked.
“They know many languages and have studied your Earth
culture for some time now. Even the children speak English. They
have many visitors from your race, who come in search of
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understanding. A few of them have even visited Earth, on

occasion, but have rarely been seen doing so.” Also, because
they have highly developed psychic abilities, what they don't know
from their studies of us, they perceive through their psychic
connection.”
“So are they the ones in the flying saucers?” She asked.
“No,” he laughed, “they don’t need flying saucers, they just
teleport.”
“Oh yeah, I knew that. They’re probably responsible for all
the angel and devil myths, huh?”
“Not all of them, but a portion of the Angel myths, I’d
imagine.” He gave her hand another squeeze and smiled. “You
see? It’s not that hard to just be yourself, now is it?”
“I don’t know,” she replied, helplessly, “I feel so off balance.”
“That’s because you are not used to being the one out front,
experiencing life, on life’s terms.”
“It’s so overwhelming. How does she do it?”
“That’s easy,” Aranon paused and smiled at her. “You help
her! You help her to feel strong and capable, safe and secure.
Now what you need to learn to do, Kerry, is to do the same for
yourself.”
“I don’t know how,” she said, dropping her eyes back to her
feet. “When it was my time in the body, I screwed everything up!”
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Kerry Dennis
“You just did it! You looked around you an allowed your
surroundings to affect you. You allowed yourself to have feelings
about how it affected you and you allowed yourself to
communicate your feelings and perceptions. That’s all it takes!
You’re a natural!” He put his finger under her chin and lifted it until
her eyes were looking into his. “The most important thing to
remember is that life is going on all around you and the best way
to be part of it is to participate in it.”
“Uh uh,” she said, pulling her face away. “That hurts. I have
been there and done that and I’m not gonna let myself get hurt
like that again!”
“Okay, but then you are not going to let yourself live, enjoy or
have fun either. It’s a package, Kerry. You can’t have one without
the other. Having a truly meaningful life requires that one be
willing to accept both the pain and the joy of it.”
“Why can’t you just kill me and be done with it!” She spat it
out like a bad taste.
“I know, facing your pain is going to be very difficult. But I’ll
be with you and so will the others. You won’t be alone for long.
Why not take this opportunity to do something really bold like
reaching for a taste of that joy that will be yours when you finish
walking through your pain.”
“There is no such thing as joy! That’s a myth! Stories we tell
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ourselves to stay alive. Well I’m tired of the stories. There is no

way past the pain! You either live with it or you die from it! I’m
ready to die!” An instant later she started to run, taking Aranon
completely by surprise. He caught up to her in two running steps
and picked her up, kicking and screaming.
“Okay, Kerry, just calm down. I can see that you are really
overwhelmed and are at a loss for an appropriate response. If you
harm yourself, Kerry, you will be harming all the others in your
system as well, no matter how alone you may feel in that
borrowed body. I will not allow you to do that.” She stopped
struggling and he turned her around in his arms, so she was
facing him. “Now, you are here, in this borrowed body, to do what
you asked for, namely take a trip with me to a fantastic planet.
Personally, I feel we have accomplished that, because this is, you
have to admit, a pretty fantastic planet. Admit it now, look in my
eyes and tell me that this is not the most fantastic place you’ve
ever seen, or even imagined!”
She turned her gaze away for a moment looking around her
and then looked back into Aranon’s playfully expectant face, her
own gaze washed in emotional anguish.
“Its really fantastic, Aranon,” she said, her voice wavering
with guarded emotion. “I am just really having a hard time dealing
with all these feelings. Before, I could focus on protecting the
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others from their feelings. Now all I have are mine, and I don’t
know what to do! Who will protect me from my feelings!”
“I will for now,” said Aranon, touching her forehead. Her
whole body relaxed and her head went to his shoulder. “And you
will, as you learn how.” He started back toward Remmie’s.
As he entered the back door with Kerry, obviously asleep in
his arms, Remmie and I were putting the finishing touches on the
dining table. I had talked her into getting a bed sheet and draping
it over the table like a tablecloth. She agreed and the effect was
elegant!
“Wow!” Said Aranon, “I can’t wait for dinner! Which is Kerry’s
room, Remmie?”
“Second door on your left, right by the stairs. Is she all
right?”
“Just a bit overwhelmed,” he said, taking her into her room
and putting her on her bed. Then he joined us back in the kitchen.
“How long before dinner?”
“Close to an hour,” said Remmie. “Targo should be here any
minute, and then he will need to go see the children, which he
does everyday, only today he is in for more than his usual fare, to
be sure.”
“How are the children?”
“We haven’t looked. Aldalgo has not summoned us.”
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“I’ll just go take a peak,” he said and started for the stairs.
I went with him because, after all, they were my kids. Before
we got to the landing, Aranon stopped, where he could look in on
the children without them noticing. I pushed past him and stood a
couple steps higher so that I too could view the kids
anonymously. Lynn and Davy were sitting at the larger table with
Aldalgo, who was giving them some sort of lesson. The children
seemed interested in their lesson, listening quietly while Aldalgo
spoke to them in a subdued voice. Aldalgo always wore a long
dark brown robe, and from where I stood on the stairs, he looked
like a wizard instructing his apprentices.
The Nurse always wore a light gray robe, but the Nurse and
the three younger children, Sissy included, were nowhere to be
seen. I knew that they had not come down the stairs because
Remmie and I would have seen them. I wondered if they were all
napping. I crept back down, past Aranon and went back into the
kitchen to help Remmie.
“Do the children nap in the afternoon?” I asked her.
“No, but Aridity usually takes them for a walk about now.”
“But they didn’t come down the stairs.”
“No the nursery has it’s own private exit that leads to a
common play area, where Nurses from several households bring
their charges. Do you want me to take you there?”
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Kerry Dennis
“No, Targo should be here any minute, and you should be

here to greet him when he gets home.”
“Targo’s a grown Siminian, he can take care of himself. And
I for one would like to see how they play together.”
“Well, my two older children are with Aldalgo, getting a
lesson, so Sissy is the only one off playing with your kids. But you
can go and I will wait for Targo.”
“Don’t you want to see how Sissy is getting on?”
“It seems you won’t let up till I concede, so lets go,” I replied,
frustrated.
She smiled and turned toward the stairs and I followed.
Aranon was still on the stairs, and Remmie told him where we
were going as we pushed past him. Lynn and Davy turned as we
walked through the room to a door on the other side at the end of
a short hallway. They didn’t speak to us though, and returned
their attention to Aldalgo as soon as we had passed. Remmie
opened the door at the end of the hallway and I could see shafts
of sunlight dancing on the path beyond.
“Remmie! Look at the sun! I’ve never seen the sun here.”
“It happens sometimes, but when you were here last we
were at the tail end of the rainy season.” She smiled and took my
hand. “Come on, lets go see how the children are doing.” She
literally tugged me along.
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After a few moments of walking I could hear the voices of

children laughing, playing. Within just a few more feet I could see
the play area and a number of Siminian children playing, swinging
on ropes or vines that came from branches above and crawling in
and out of a tunnel of wood that protruded from the flat wide
branch on which the play area stood. But I couldn’t see Sissy. In
fact it was difficult, I have to admit, to tell the children apart, and
so I didn’t really even see Remmie’s kids.
“There they are!” Remmie pointed to the corner of the play
area where three children played on a slick bump on the tree that
acted as a small slide.
The first thing I noticed was that Sissy was in the buff and
seemed totally at peace with it. She stood out like a candle in a
dark corner with her porcelain white body and her platinum blond
hair flowing behind her as she ran. She was obviously having fun.
“Lets not disturb them,” I said. “They are having such a good
time, and Sissy seems so comfortable without her clothes. I
wouldn’t want to remind her of that by showing up all dressed,
and I am not ready for the nudist life just yet.”
“I understand,” said Remmie. “They do seem to be doing
well together though.”
“Yes, they do. Is that their Nurse?”
“Yes, that’s Aridity. I will introduce you at dinner. She was
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Kerry Dennis
also my Nurse as a child. She and Aldalgo are married I think.”

“You don’t know?” I asked, incredulous.
“They are not very forthcoming with their relationship, and it
is a point of honor not to pry. But, they have always been together
in my household. Some Siminian families change Guides and
Nurses every few years, sometimes even more often, but my
beloved Aridity and the esteemed Aldalgo have been with me
since my childhood. They shared my house with me even before I
married Targo, or had my children. I think they stayed because of
my emotional difficulties at first, since my parents were mostly off
world, but then they just stayed and I was glad. I suppose you can
see that I love them dearly.”
“Yes,” I said, “and I also imagine that they love you dearly as
well. Why else would they put up with all of this added work and
inconvenience?”
“Yes, I suppose they do, at that. Let’s get back and see if
Targo has arrived yet.”
“Remmie?” I asked as we walked back to her house. “Do
Sensarians have children?”
“Of course they have children,” she said.
“Then why haven’t I ever seen any?”
“They are not raised by their parents, but instead are raised
in big nurseries, or crèches and in communal living centers, by
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Nurses and Guides. They do interact with the Siminians; at least

the older ones do; as Aides for Guides and Nurses who work with
large families. They also train at the teleport centers, at the
service centers and for the council. You may have seen them and
it didn’t register that they were smaller than their adult
counterparts. They are very regimented in their dress, and you
rarely know whom you are dealing with because they all wear the
same color and the type of clothing as everyone else in that
branch of service wears. As a result, the children tend to blend
in.”
“So they never know their parents?”
“Only when their parents want to know them. Some do,
some don’t. It’s been this way as far back as our history goes.
They are taught that all adults are their parents, but that some
adults desire to sponsor their genetic offspring. It is an elective
thing, but most children who are sponsored by their parents tend
to sponsor their own children and sponsored children tend to fare
better than those who are not sponsored. During the Sensarian
daily suggestions they often hear the message that it is rewarding
to sponsor your offspring. I work with Sensarians at the Sensarian
University where I teach, so I have a bit more of an inside look
than most Siminians have.”
As Remmie and I entered the nursery, Targo met us and
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embraced his wife, as soon as she was within reach. I went in

search of Aranon, wanting to give them some space for their
affection. As I walked through the main room I found it empty, so I
went down the stairs. Aranon sat in a comfortable looking chair in
the common room at the base of the stairs.
“Where are the Kids?” I asked.
“They are in the bathroom getting a lesson in personal care.
They seem to have really taken to Aldalgo. “
“I could use a little lesson in that myself,” I said, starting
toward the bathroom off the kitchen.
“Nope, upstairs. They have their own bathroom. I assume
they are getting a bath.”
“Not together I hope!” I said starting for the stairs.
“Whoa, hang on there, Christy.” He grabbed my arm as I
passed him. “Aldalgo is with them, and he knows how to deal with
children. There is also a young Nurse with them. She arrived a
few minutes ago; I suppose to help with the bathing. They’re in
good hands. Why don’t you just sit down next to me here and tell
me how you feel about what’s happened today.” He patted the
chair beside him.
“Amazed, scared, awed, confused, delighted and worried,” I
replied as I sat down. “Tired too.” I stretched out my legs to
release the tension in them and then let them drop.
623
“That’s a good start. How does it feel being the only one in
your system right now?”
“I really hadn’t thought much about it. But now that I think of
it, I have been thinking more about them while they are apart from
me than I did when we were all in here together.”
“You certainly have a way of directing them. I am so proud of
you, Christy. When you took charge of your children up on the
dais, after you were split, I was so proud of you! You did
everything right. You did what you had to do to take care of your
children. You were gracious and considerate of everyone, but you
were also sensitive to the needs of the children. I have to say; I
was in awe of you and how well you functioned after being
separated from four fifths your being. You have a very special
soul, my dear, and some very unique talents. I just want you to
know how much I admire you.” He reached around and gave me
a hug and then a gentle smile.
“Okay,” I said, feeling undeserving of this praise.
At that moment Piddles came practically rolling down the
stairs and then into my lap, where he proceeded to lick me
furiously.
“Piddles! Where have you been?” It just dawned on me that I
hadn’t seen him since we arrived.
“He has his own out yard and sunning area just off the
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Kerry Dennis
nursery. I would imagine that the children let him out there and
forgot to let him in, at least until just a minute ago.” Remmie
explained, as she and Targo entered the common room. “Targo is
going to take a few moments with the children, and then we will all
have dinner. You may want to wake Kerry.”
“I’ll do that,” said Aranon, rising from his chair.
“Why don’t you join Targo, Christy, as the visiting children’s
parent? This is an important ritual that happens every day before
the evening meal,” explained Remmie, nodding toward the stairs
to the children’s area.
I ascended the stairs and then took my place beside Targo.
The children were all lined up in a row, standing at attention,
although Lynn was grinning, while the others, including Sissy,
stood ramrod straight with their faces unsmiling. Davy and Lynn
remained clothed, but Sissy was still in the buff, as she stood
beside Remmie’s children in their natural state.
“Ah, we have a much larger family today,” said Targo,
walking along the front of the line, inspecting the children. You all
look very fresh and clean, but I think I will need to check behind
all these ears just to make sure. He inspected behind his
daughters ears first, as she was the youngest. She stepped
forward turned her head as he spoke to her, probably in their
native tongue. Then he kissed her on the head and she stepped
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back in line. “And who is this shiny haired child?” He asked as he

stood before Sissy.
The Nurse gave her a little push and she stepped forward,
shooting a look at me that seemed to question if everything was
okay. I smiled at her and she looked up at Targo. He smiled down
at her and then looked behind her ears. She giggled, as though
she had been tickled, and then stepped back, trying to make her
face stop smiling.
Then his son stepped forward, and the ritual was repeated.
The boy stepped back and Lynn stepped forward, having difficulty
controlling her giggles and smiles. As Targo began inspecting
behind her ears she dissembled into a giggling fit and Aldalgo
gave her a stern glare. She straightened up and allowed Targo
inspect the other ear without incident. Then it was Davy’s turn,
and he took the whole thing with a serious demeanor, almost
stoic. For a moment I thought he would salute Targo as he
stepped back, so military were his movements. When he finished
inspecting the children he turned and asked me if I wanted to do
my own inspection.
“Did you find anything behind their ears that shouldn’t be
there?” I asked.
“I find them all clean and in good condition,” he replied, and
then gave me a wink.
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Kerry Dennis
“Then I accept your findings. Shall we have dinner?”

“Certainly,” he replied, taking my arm and showing me to the
stairs. At the head of the stairs he turned. “Aldalgo, Aridity, you
have done your job well and I would like to invite you to join us for
dinner. Children, you will now join us in the dining room.”
He turned to me and suggested that I take Sissy’s hand on
the stairs, as the children filed toward us, youngest first. He
picked up his daughter and took his son’s hand and started down
the stairs. I took Sissy’s hand and Lynn quickly grabbed my other
one. I looked at the stairs and realized that there wasn’t enough
room to hold both their hands safely.
“Lynn, you take Davy’s hand and follow behind Sissy and I,
okay?”
She poked out her lip and did as she was told and we all
started down the stairs. Aldalgo, Aridity and little Piddles brought
up the rear. This was going to be an interesting dinner. There
were going to be ten of us at the table.
As we entered the kitchen, Aranon, Kerry and Remmie stood
behind their seats. Aldalgo instructed the children to wait until the
adults seated them. Three of the benches were taller than the
rest, so that the smallest children could sit comfortably at the
table, but they needed to be lifted onto them. I helped Tonga by
placing Sissy on her high bench.
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After everyone was seated, all became quiet and then

Remmie sang a song in her native tongue. It was a beautiful
song, filled with lightheartedness, sung with such a pure voice
that I was nearly brought to tears by it. I never knew that Remmie
had such a beautiful singing voice! It seemed to me that she was
much more accomplished as a singer than I would ever be.
When Remmie had finished her song I wanted to clap, but I
restrained myself, as this seemed like a very sacred time. Then,
after a moment of silence, Remmie began to pass the bowls of
food that I had helped her to prepare. I added a little of everything
to my plate. It looked appetizing and I couldn’t wait to taste it all.
“Children,” said Tonga, “Tell me what you learned today.” He
looked at his youngest, waiting for a response.
“I learned that Sissy’s body looks like my body, but she
doesn’t have fur, she has hair, and her hair only grows from her
head,” replied Demmie, with the diction of an adult.
“And how does this knowledge affect your life?” Asked
Tonga.
“It helps me to see that even though the visitors are different,
they are also the same. I learned that, even though they don’t
have fur, they still have feelings and dreams just like us.”
“A very good lesson to learn, Demmie,” he said smiling.
“Dagna, what did you learn today?”
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Kerry Dennis
“I learned that some visitors wear clothes because they are

ashamed of their bodies, although I am unsure why that is,
Father. I also learned that bodies and whether or not they are
covered is unimportant. It is the person inside the body that is
important.”
“Another good lesson,” smiled Tonga. “And how do you think
that knowing this will affect your life?”
“It will make me more sensitive to the feelings and needs of
others,” replied Dagna.
“Another very good lesson, he said, smiling at his son. He
then looked at me, raising an eyebrow and nodding at my kids.
I took the hint. “Sissy, what did you learn today?” I asked.
She looked at me blankly, for a moment and then said, “I like
to pay wif Daga and Demmie and I like to hab no cloes on.”
“I am very glad that you have found two new friends, and
can feel good about yourself even without your clothes.” I smiled
at her and she grinned back happily. “Lynn, what did you learn
today?” I asked, turning my attention to her.
“I learned that the fiscal body is just bilogy…” she began.
“Biology,” corrected Aldalgo, with a patient smile.
“Yeah, biology,” she said, “Bodies are just biology but the
part you can’t see is the ‘portant part. That part just uses the body
to touch things and feel things and learn stuffs and is the real
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person.”
“That’s a good lesson,” I said, trying to emulate Tonga.
“Davy? What did you learn?”
“I learned that a person is a person whether they can pee
standing up or not and that having a weener doesn’t mean that
I’m better or that I can’t get hurt by a sick person. I learned that
the only way I can be really safe is to learn as much as I can
about myself and what I do that makes sick people think they can
hurt me; and to learn all I can about those kinda sick people, and
how they act so I can know who they are and get away from them
before they can hurt me.” He fell silent and every adult in the
room seemed touched by his statements.
“Davy, you have learned some very important things today,”
I said, not quite knowing how to communicate my feelings. “I am
very proud of you, Davy!” I said, suddenly realizing that he was
probably the key to the healing of my whole system.
“Kerry,” I said, trying not to leave anyone out, “what did you
learn today?”
“Duh, I wasn’t up there with the other kids, remember?” She
said, in a snide and condescending tone. “I’m just excess
baggage, so Aranon put me to sleep.”
“I’m sorry you feel that way, Kerry,” said Aranon, gently. “I
was under the impression that you learned a very important thing
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Kerry Dennis
today.”
“Oh yeah?” She asked angrily, giving Aranon a poisonous
glare. “What would that be? That we are not going on our special
trip, just you and me, or that I can’t seem to protect myself from
my own feelings?”
“We are still scheduled to go on that special trip, and I
applaud you for your willingness to disclose your present
vulnerability. That took a lot of courage, Kerry. I am proud of you.”
Aranon smiled at her broadly, and she just hung her head and
remained silent.
“What did you learn today, Christy?” Asked Aldalgo.
“I learned that someday I might be a good mother,” I said.
“You already are a good mommy,” interjected Lynn, my little
champion.
“Thank you Lynn, that means a lot to me.” I gave her a loving
smile. “I also learned that I have a very special inner family, and
that I love and admire each of you, even you, Kerry. I hope that
you can come to feel my love and admiration, and that we can
learn to work together for the good of the whole.” Aranon nodded
and smiled, while Kerry sat, obviously seething. I was at a loss as
to how to deal with that.
“I’m not hungry,” said Kerry, starting to get up off her bench.
“I’m going to my room.”
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Aranon reached out and held her in place, as she sneered at

him. “You will remain with the family until everyone has finished
eating. You are not required to eat if you don’t wish to, but you will
remain at the table.”
“Jeez!” She said, trying to shrug Aranon’s hand off her
shoulder. “I may as well be in reform school!”
“Now there’s an idea,” said Aranon, jokingly. “Because I
could probably arrange that for you for the next two days, if you
like.”
“Oh, shut up, you overgrown twerp!” She replied, acidly.
Aldalgo looked at Kerry, his face filled with a mixture of
shock and sadness. “Can you please explain the term, overgrown
twerp?”
“Butt out, stick man!” Said Kerry, a little too loudly.
Aldalgo stared at her, shocked and hurt by her words. The
room grew very quiet. No one had ever shown Aldalgo the least
bit of disrespect. Even Remmie was shocked to the core by
Kerry’s disrespect of her beloved Teaching Guide.
“I have changed my mind,” said Aranon, finally, as the pall of
shock and disbelief began to settle. “I cannot allow you to
disrespect our friends, who have shown nothing but kindness and
understanding. You may go to your room, Kerry.”
Kerry quickly got up, left the table, went to our room and
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slammed the door. Everyone sat in complete silence.

“I apologize for Kerry,” said Aranon, after a moment. “It is the
nature of the part she plays in Christy’s system that has
generated her abrasive personality. I think it best that her and I
leave to go on our trip right after dinner. Hopefully, during that trip,
I can help her to shift into a new role, that is more supportive, and
a lot less volatile.”
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Thirty-Five
The part of me that was Kerry sat on her bed and cried. She
didn’t know what was coming but it had to be bad. She deserved
it, if it were bad. What she really deserved was to die. She
couldn’t figure out why it would be a bad thing for the system if
she died. After all, she was separate from the rest right now. She
couldn’t feel them and she doubted that they could feel her either.
All they would be loosing is their resident troublemaker anyway,
so where’s the loss?
The more she thought about it, the more she thought it to be
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Kerry Dennis
the most sensible and considerate thing to do, but how? She
didn’t have any pills. She didn’t have anything sharp. She didn’t
have any rope. But that got her thinking. She looked at her bed.
She thought about the bed sheets. Those sheets could be torn up
and used as rope. But, where would she hang it?
She looked around the room, seeking something that would
help her with this project. Maybe she could tie one end to the door
pull on the outside of the closet door and then loop it over the
door. Then she could get a chair and stand on it and tie the sheet-
rope around her neck and kick away the chair. Just as she began
pulling the sheet off the bed, the door opened.
“You’re supposed to knock, shit head,” she said angrily, her
plans having to be put off.
“Not when I feel someone is in danger,” Aranon said, closing
the door. “What is it you were thinking of doing with that sheet?”
Jeeze, can’t a person have some privacy? “I was going to
put it on the floor and do yoga exercises on it, jerk-off.”
“Not according to Lynn. She said you were thinking about
hanging yourself. To make yourself die, she said.” He waited for
her response and all he got was an angry glare. “I think she’s
right. I think that is exactly what you were contemplating.”
“So, the heck, what?” She shouted. “Who the hell would
even miss me? All I am is a screw-up and a troublemaker. Why
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would they even care?”

“Lynn cares. She could feel your pain and begged me to
come in here and save you. She knew, and pretty soon they
would all have known. Like I said before, Kerry, in spite of the
illusion of having your own body, you are still part of the system,
as are all the others. What you would do to hurt yourself would
hurt the whole.” He sat down on the stripped bed and looked at
her terrified face. “How can I help you Kerry? What would you like
for me to do?”
“I don’t want your help! I just wan’a die, is all.” She sank to
the floor and sobbed.
“Not today, girl. Today we are going on a trip.”
“I don’t wan’a go anymore! Just leave me alone!”
“I don’t think I am going to be leaving you alone for a while
yet, Kerry.” He said, sadly. “So, in view of that, which would be
better, sitting here together for the next two or so days or going on
a trip?” Then he smiled.
“Duh,” she said, the word rattling past the tears in her throat.
“What do you think, super-jerk?”
“Okay, then,” he said getting up. “Lets go then, shall we?”
She looked up at him, tears still clouding her vision. “Where
are we going? How are we going to get there?” She asked.
“Remmie has agreed to get us there through teleportation. I
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am certain that she will be able to get us to wherever we want to

go.”
“So do I get to pick where we go or does she?”
“Neither. I get to pick.”
“So, where are you taking me?” She started to get up off the
floor, finally focused on something other than herself and her own
inner turmoil.
“You’ll see,” he said, giving her a devilish look. “Come on,
let’s get started.” He helped her the rest of the way up and then
they came out of the bedroom.
Everyone else had gone for a stroll but Remmie stayed
behind to assist Aranon with the trip. When she heard the
bedroom door open, she stepped out of the kitchen.
“Is it a go?” She asked, excited.
“Yes, Remmie. Take us to the nearest transport station.”
“Oh great! I am so happy for you, Kerry!”
“What the hell for? You’re getting rid of me. I would think you
would be happy for yourself!”
“Kerry, I know that you are having a very difficult time. I can
see your feelings and thoughts. I can’t relate to all of them, but I
can feel them and I know you are in a great deal of emotional pain
right now. I am very happy that you have chosen to go on an
adventure instead of thinking up ways to put an end to yourself. I
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know that you are unaware of how important you are to the whole,
but if you did manage to harm yourself, all the rest would suffer
greatly, and possibly even follow you into the afterlife against their
volition. You might want to think about that. There is the illusion
that you all have separate bodies, but if you were to harm
yourself, you would be harming the whole body, the actual body,
the one you all still, in actuality reside in.”
Kerry didn’t have a snide remark or an angry quip to bestow
upon Remmie. Actually, what she said really did make her think.
What if, in my selfishness, I killed me, and all those little kids, and
Christy died too? She thought. She was pretty certain that they
didn’t want to die. After all, her job was to protect them, so how
would that be protecting them? They’re not miserable; it’s just me
that’s miserable.
Remmie led them down a small pathway and into a kind of
Village Square. In the middle of the square was a teleport station.
“Where did you want to go, Aranon?” She asked as they neared
the station.
“Pyko,” he said, firmly.
“Pyko?” She asked, raising her eyebrows.
“Absolutely.” He said, giving her a look that Kerry couldn’t
decipher.
“Hey,” interjected Kerry. “If that’s a bad place I really don’t
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want to go there.” She was feeling very vulnerable, with Aranon

making the decisions. What if he decided to take her to some sort
of hell for the next day or so to teach her a lesson?
“Trust me.” Aranon said, and gently smiled at her.
“Yeah, well, that’s what they all say, just before they stick it
to you.”
“Come on,” he urged, waving Kerry up on the platform, “lets
go.”
She got up on the platform beside him, feeling scared, but
hoping that he was not taking her to a terrible place. Remmie
waved and then they were standing at the edge of a beautiful
forest with normal sized trees, all blooming with a myriad of
colorful blossoms. The scent was heavenly. The sky was a violet
color and the trees weren’t green but rather blue and a deep
violet. The grass was turquoise and gold. It was like a fantasy.
Brightly colored birds flitted from branch to branch, calling in
voices Kerry had never heard before.
“Wow!” She said, “This is beautiful! But where will we stay?”
“I’m glad you like it,” he replied. “Don’t worry, I have some
friends here.”
“Do they live in trees?”
“No, they live in an underground city. Come on, I’ll show
you.”
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“Why would they want to live in an underground city,” she

asked, following him down a path, “when they have this beautiful
world up here to enjoy?”
“Maybe they would like to keep this part of their world
beautiful,” he replied, leading her down a spiral staircase that led
to an underground room where there was what looked like an
elevator.
Aranon placed his palm on a flat plate and the door opened.
He led her inside and pressed a key and the door closed. “Hold
on to your stomach,” he said, and then laughed when she felt the
floor fall out from under her. She was sure that the thing was
broken and they would become splats of blood and bones when it
came to a stop. Finally, it began to slow, and then came to a stop.
Her legs felt shaky and her stomach felt queasy as the door
opened. Chuckling, he took her arm to steady her as they exited
the elevator.
They entered into a huge corridor that finally resolved into a
town cut into the solid rock, like that ancient city somewhere in the
desert in the Middle East she had once watched a documentary
about. Only this city looked modern, and there was not only
electricity, or some sort of power, but fresh air and light that came
from above, like sunlight. She looked up and saw what looked like
a sun, an orb of light that seemed to float above them. There was
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Kerry Dennis
also what looked like a sky, pale and blue, and speckled with
clouds!
“How did they make a sun like that down here?” She asked.
“They didn’t. It’s natural.”
“Huh? How can a sun underground be natural?”
“All planets have a molten core. In younger planets that core
fills the entire center of the planet. But, as the planet cools, the
core shrinks to an internal sun, held in place by the rotation of the
planet, much like the center of a gyroscope. This is an older
planet, so it has an internal sun, making the cooled internal
surface livable. There are also seas that divide the internal
continents. With water there is weather, and with weather there
are growth seasons, and with plant life there is oxygen. The only
real difference between the internal sun and the external sun is
that the internal one never sets. That makes for lots of plant
growth and an unusual lifestyle for those who dwell within the
planet.”
“Wow!”
“Lets go see if my friend is available, shall we?” He smiled at
her amazement as he guided her into the amazing city inside this
amazing world.
There were streets and vehicles, pedestrians and shops and
even stand-alone buildings made from bricks and stone. They
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walked into the bustle of a real city, and then Aranon led her into
what looked like a train station, where he obtained permission for
them to board a vehicle that looked like one of the rapid tube
trains in the Japan of today. They boarded the train and found a
seat. The people around them looked just like humans to Kerry.
They also wore clothes and that was a relief. But, this race was
taller and larger than humans, and much more like Aranon than
Kerry herself. She wondered if this was Aranon’s home.
After a short ride, the train stopped, probably at a designated
station. Aranon grabbed Kerry’s hand and led her off the train and
into an entirely different type of community. Here, there were
many single dwellings surrounded by fields of growth that
seemed, to Kerry, to be farms. He led her down a dusty path to a
small ranch-like home, surrounded by fields of green growing
plants that she didn’t recognize. Nevertheless, it looked Earth-like
to Kerry.
Aranon knocked on the door of the house and after a few
minutes a man opened the door. He was as tall and well
proportioned as Aranon, and he wore a lightweight robe with
shiny gold trim.
“Aranon! How wonderful! I am so glad you have come to
visit!” Said the man.
“It is good to see you too, Anthon,” replied Aranon, putting
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Kerry Dennis
his arms around him and giving him a hug. “I have brought a
friend of mine. Do you think we could impose on you for a little
hospitality and maybe a little insight?”
“Of course! Of course!” He repeated, opening the door wider
so that we could enter. “What insight do you seek?”
They walked into a room that was gently lit by the sunlight,
through windows that overlooked a green valley and distant
purple mountains. The furnishings were spare and comfortable.
There was a couch and four easy chairs in this room, like just
about any living room on earth. There were also shelves and
shelves of real books. In the corner there was a communication
center, with a video screen and an interface device that looked
like a flat typewriter. Kerry had never seen a computer, or she
may have recognized the design. Computers didn’t make their
debut into the average home for almost 30 years in her future on
Earth.
“Kerry here is experiencing a great deal of difficulty dealing
with her internal pain and desires to end her life. All of her
arguments for self-destruction are valid ones, even if I am not in
agreement with her choice to end her life instead of facing her
issues. Unfortunately, she is only an aspect of another being, and
harming herself would harm the whole.”
“Why don’t you have a seat, Kerry,” said Anthon, with a
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gentle smile, motioning to the couch. She climbed up on it and sat

down. It was as if she were three years old getting up on a couch
made for adults. In other words it was big.
“Tell me about you,” said Anthon, sitting down beside her.
“How are you an aspect of another being?” He took her hand in
his, and she felt at ease with him. She felt as though maybe he
would understand her position, her feelings.
“I don’t really understand it myself,” she replied. “All I know is
that there are five different people all using one body, most of the
time. Right now, we are all split up, because Aranon worked out a
way for us each to have our own body for three days. I can’t deal
with that, because my job was to protect the system, to help them
with their incapacitating feelings by taking those feelings and
holding them for them. But now, I don’t have my job, because
they are all in other bodies and I don’t know how to deal with my
own feelings.
“I’m not very nice. I can’t be nice, because if I start being
nice to people, they will take advantage of us, and I can’t allow
that. I will never allow that again. So now all I am is a
troublemaker with too many feelings to deal with on my own. I just
want to be gone. I’m no good for the system anymore. They
probably don’t need me anymore; anyway, they are all getting so
strong. But I’m not getting strong; I’m just getting more and more
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Kerry Dennis
tired. If there was just some way I could die and not harm the
others. That’s all I want.” Tears began spilling from her eyes.
“If you were to describe your anger, what would it look like?”
He asked, gently.
Aranon seated himself on the other side of the room and
allowed his dear friend and brother facilitator to work his magic.
Anthon was one of the best facilitators in the Brotherhood. He had
been Aranon’s trainer. Then, a few years ago his wife and small
child had died in a freak accident, and he had pulled into himself,
unable to reach out, unable to assist others in the mistaken idea
that he had lost his abilities. Aranon didn’t think that was true, and
was willing to bet that when he and Kerry left to return to Archana,
Anthon would be changed, and Kerry would be empowered. He
smiled to himself knowing that these two people needed each
other more than anyone else in the universe right now. He was
glad he had thought of it.
“I don’t know what you mean by that question,” she replied.
“Does it have a shape? Does it have a size? Does it have a
color? Tell me what it looks like. Make something up if you like.”
“Now how is that going to help?” She asked, reactively.
“By making it potentially tangible, out here, not in there,” he
said pointing to her solar plexus, “in your emotional self. In order
for you to adequately deal with this, you have to externalize it so
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you can study it.”

“So I think up a shape that matches my anger?”
“Can you?”
“Yeah. It’s a ten inch long, 2 inch wide dick!”
“Okay. What color is it?”
“Blood Red!”
“Tell me about this dick. What does it do to make you
angry?”
“You haven’t a clue what I am talking about, do you?”
“Do you know what you are talking about? Because that’s all
that counts.”
“Okay, it screws me, over and over!”
“And why is it doing that?” He asked, with sincerity and
concern.
At this point Kerry burst into tears. The feelings were
unbearable, and the images that flashed in her mind caused her
whole body to tense up, and then she was so overwhelmed
emotionally, physically, that she went into a convulsion.
Anthon knew what was happening. He had seen it on many
occasions, and knew what to do. He laid her down on the couch
on her side, facing the back of the couch. He sat against her back
so that she could not seize off the couch, and pressed her lower
jaw forward to prevent her from biting or swallowing her tongue.
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Kerry Dennis
The seizure lasted for more than a minute, and this told him that
an extremely traumatic event was at the bottom of all of this.
During all of this, Aranon was mentally filling Anthon in on
her abuse history, and the sexual nature of the terms that she
used to describe her anger. By the time that she reached the
postictal state, Anthon had it all pretty well worked out and was
already planning a strategy. When she began to stir, he moved so
that she could turn over. He pulled a chair up and sat down
beside her as she lay on the couch, taking her hand.
“That’s not the best way to deal with one’s feelings, but it can
help sometimes, I know.”
“You think it was all an act,” said Kerry, tearing up again.
“Not at all. I think you were overwhelmed, and being
overwhelmed seems to affect your whole body. I think I could help
you with this, if you were willing to trust me.”
“It’s not my nature to trust anyone,” she said, coldly.
“You just did,” he responded. “When you became
overwhelmed, you trusted us to watch after you.”
“I didn’t have any choice!” She said, irritated by what she
thought he was insinuating.
“All right,” he said. “So now you have a choice. Would you
like some help with these feelings? You were just saying a while
ago that you didn’t have anyone to help you with your feelings. I
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am offering to help you. Do you want help?”

“Okay,” she said, feeling that maybe, just maybe he could
help. When he touched her, when he held her hand, she felt safe
with him.
“If you will try a few things, we may be able to remedy this
situation,” he said, kindly. “Are you willing to try a few things that I
have discovered?”
“Okay,” she replied, not knowing what to expect.
“I take it that means you are willing to try?”
“Yes,” she said.
“Then there is hope!” he said, brightly, smiling broadly. “Tell
me why this dick keeps screwing you over and over. This ten inch
long, 2 inch wide dick the color of blood.”
“I don’t know why! I can’t seem to stop it from happening
over and over!”
“Did it happen today?”
“In my head it did!”
“So this dick is fucking you over and over in your head. Is
this a vision that you are seeing over and over? Is it connected to
a real experience?”
“Lots of them!”
“Lots of real experiences?”
“Yes.”
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Kerry Dennis
“Tell me about one of these real experiences.”

“I can’t!” She said, tearfully, as her breathing and heart rate
began to accelerate.
“Sure you can.” He smiled and brushed the hair from her
eyes while running his fingertips over her forehead. “Tell me
about one that is yours, and not any of the others you share that
body with.”
Suddenly, she was transported back in time, to a place she
really didn’t want to go! She found herself standing outside of
herself watching as her doctor raped her; hurt her. He was inside
her, his large penis ripping her insides as he asked, “Can I? Can I
come now, Kerry?”
She watched as her mirrored-self said, “yes” not knowing
what that meant. Then her doctor began pounding himself into
her, brutally, hurting her, ripping her insides even more and she
screamed, and he took that as some sort of sign and pounded
faster and harder until he groaned and then collapsed on her,
crushing her with his weight. “That was fantastic!” he said,
completely unaware of the pain and the shock that she was
experiencing. “No!” Cried Kerry, seeing the pain her mirrored self
was in. “No! I don’t want to go there!”
“And yet it is where your anger and your pain comes from,”
said Anthon, gently. “You must face your feelings about this
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experience, before you can move past them.”

“No! He used me; he used me over and over; coming to my
house while my parents were working! It always hurt! It never
stopped hurting like he promised it would! And then it made me
pregnant! I was so scared! So scared! My father told me that he
would put me out on the street if he discovered I was pregnant!
But I was and I didn’t know what to do! I felt dirty! I felt ashamed! I
felt evil!”
“So what did you do?” asked Anthon.
“I asked the doctor to give me money so that I could get
help. He wanted me to go to another state, to go live in a home
for unwed mothers. I agreed to go because I didn’t know what
else to do! I lost the baby on the way there, in the bus. In the toilet
on the bus! I never knew if it was a boy or a girl. I lost it! I lost it in
the toilet on the bus! I was bleeding! I had an infection! I was sick!
I went to a hospital and they put me on the psych ward! They
thought I was crazy! I guess I was,” she said, folding her body into
a ball on the couch.
“Were you a child or an adult?” He asked, his face filled with
compassion.
“I was seventeen. I was so scared!”
Aranon mentally imparted the information that seventeen is
considered underage in her culture, and Anthon nodded. “You
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Kerry Dennis
had every reason to be afraid. You were a child, alone, abused

and then dismissed, abandoned by your father, nowhere to go.
This doctor had abused you, over and over, but you were afraid to
tell anyone. Why is that, Kerry?”
“My mother would have said I asked for it, and my dad would
probably have thought the same. They wouldn’t have believed
that I didn’t like it. They would have never believed that a doctor
would do this without my seducing him. It would have been all my
fault anyway. What’s the point?”
“I see, so you couldn’t even call for help. You were trapped.
Can you see how that would tend to make one angry?”
“I did call for help! I called Child Protective Services and told
a caseworker that my doctor was molesting me! You know what
happened? He came right out! He came right out and took me in
my own bed! You wan’a know about angry!”
“So even when you called for help, you were abused,” cited
Anthon, sadly. You were abused by those you trusted to help you.
I’d say you have some very good reasons for being angry,
defensive and untrusting. Can you allow yourself to feel that
anger? It’s all right to feel your anger, Kerry. It’s all right to feel
betrayed and used.”
“Every time I cried for help I got screwed! I must be a real
worthless piece of shit you know that? I mean every time! It just
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kept happening, over and over! A doctor! A minister! A social

worker! A teacher! I guess everybody thought that because I was
already tainted goods, they might as well take advantage of that!
Then I started thinking I was just dirt and stopped caring, and then
the Artist that I went to see about a job raped me and beat me up
for four solid hours and I knew that if I didn’t start to protect myself
I would end up dead!”
“Let it out, Kerry. Let it all out.” Said Anthon, as tears formed
in his eyes.
“Why me? Why me? Why did every man that I trusted to
help me use me, hurt me? Why? Why?”
“Maybe there is an answer to that, Kerry. If there is, I will
help you to find it. But first, you need to let the anger out. You
need to let the pain and the fear out. Let yourself feel it, Kerry. Let
yourself feel the whole force of it, once and for all!” He squeezed
her hand and imparted the support that she needed to release her
pain and anger.
Kerry felt the pain and the anger rip through her like a large
serrated knife being thrust into her vagina, her stomach, and her
heart. She screamed, balling her fists and beating them on the
couch beneath her. She kicked, and pounded her fists and
screamed and cried, as many years of tears flowed from her
eyes. She called every one of them by name and then called
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Kerry Dennis
them as many dirty names as she could think of. She swore and
she cursed and she punched the couch and she kicked her feet
into the cushions.
In lulls, Anthon would tell her what a good job she was
doing, and tell her that he cared and would never hurt her, that he
was glad that she was willing to trust him with all of these very
real feelings. He validated her anger. He validated her pain. This
lasted for about three hours. Finally, exhausted and spent, she fell
into a deep sleep.
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Thirty-Six
The morning after Kerry went on her trip with Aranon, I was
given the opportunity to spend the day with Aldalgo. He enlisted
the help of a substitute Teaching Guide and then suggested that I
accompany him, while he walked with me amidst his culture.
Although the Sensarians lived and worked within the
Siminian society, they also had their own, separate society where
their government resided, and where their children were raised
and trained to accomplish their heart’s desire. This separate
Sensarian society was actually on another continent, where there
were fewer trees and where they lived in houses and worked in
buildings on solid ground. They tilled fields and ran factories of
sorts, but mechanization was kept to a primitive minimum.
We traveled there by teleportation, but we needed no device
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Kerry Dennis
to do it. Aldalgo was a master of teleportation and the teleporting

of groups as well. He told me that he had been a teleport operator
in his youth, for all youths must volunteer a certain number of
hours in public service jobs.
“Our children are encouraged to try every job that their
aptitudes will allow. By the time they reach adulthood they are
multitalented and can then choose the service commitment that is
dearest to their hearts. So, when I reached adulthood I chose to
be a Teaching Guide. I have never been sorry, and I have the
ability to utilize all that I have learned in the performance of my
commitments.”
“Did your parents sponsor you?” I asked.
“I am gratified that you took the time to inform yourself about
my society. Yes, my parents sponsored me, and I and my mate in
turn sponsor our child.”
“Is Aridity your mate?” I asked, feeling a responsibility to ask,
since Remmie wouldn’t and really wanted to know.
At first I thought he was going to rebuke me for my
insolence, his face having become clouded with something close
to anger, and then he softened and finally smiled.
“You are very forward in your questions. For a Siminian that
question would be inappropriate, for in order to maintain our
position as servants, we avoid becoming enmeshed with our
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charges. But you are different. You are a star-child, and you have
come to study, to understand, and to teach. The answer to your
question is yes.”
“Why don’t parents in your society keep their children with
them?” I asked, wondering what it might have felt like to be raised
in an institution instead of by my family.
“Because children require continuous attention and as adults
we desire to be productive members of our society. It is difficult to
be productive when you must be giving continuous attention to a
child. We attempted to do this for several thousand years, and
learned that it is not good for the children or the adults, and the
society also suffers through the erosion of morals and the
fostering of rage that such a practice engenders.
“We finally discovered that the only way to save our society
was by giving over the care of our children to those who whose
heart’s desire it is to raise and nurture children; to those who are
trained to raise and nurture children to be self confident
individuals in control of their own lives. Parents are encouraged to
take an active part in the lives of their children, but all children,
even those whose parents are uninterested in the lives of their
children, or too involved in their own lives to take an active part,
are cared for, nurtured and encouraged to aspire to their highest
potential, just as much as those whose parents take an active
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role.”
“Can I see one of the places where children are raised?” I
asked.
“Yes,” he said, smiling. “I think that would be appropriate.”
“Can we see the one where your child is?”
“Yes, I will introduce you to my child. He will like you.”
Suddenly, we were in a large yard filled with hundreds of
children and almost as many Sensarian adults. There appeared to
be several games or exercises going on, but many of the children
were just enjoying their pals, and the warm sunshine. All of the
children were dressed in white tunics, with long white pants on the
bottom. Aldalgo led me to a group of children sitting beneath a
normal sized tree. All of the children stood as we approached and
bowed to Aldalgo. Aldalgo bowed back.
“Now is a good time to practice your English,” He said. “I
have with me the Visitor from Earth, Christy.”
“Hello, Christy,” they all said in unison. They all smiled at me
and I could tell the smiles were genuine. They didn’t seem to be
unhappy kids.
“Hello,” I replied.
“This is my ward, Rayko.” He indicated one of the children
who then stepped forward.
“Nice to meet you Rayko.” I stuck out my hand to shake his,
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but he didn’t appear to understand.

“Rayko, why don’t you show Christy around the center?”
Said Aldalgo. “I’ll just follow along.”
“Yes, Esteemed Aldalgo.” He started for one of the buildings
and we followed.
“This is a residence center,” he explained as we entered the
building. There was plenty of light, but I couldn’t see where it was
coming from. As we walked down a hallway, I saw colorful
drawings on the walls. They seemed to have been done by the
children, and some were really quite good. They were not on
pieces of paper attached to the walls, but rather right on the walls
themselves, as though the children were encouraged to decorate
them.
Rayko stopped at a door and opened it. Inside were two
beds, two desks, two dressers, two closets and a personal care
center. The room was neat and tidy, but there were books piled
here and there and what looked like toys and other less definable
objects on shelves beside each of the beds. The room was
cheery and colorful, and not as institutional as I would have
imagined.
Rayko was much like his father, although smaller, with the
same tall, thin frame, and large but expressive eyes in his
oversized head. He was hairless but his skin was much the same
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color as mine.
“This is my residence, which I share with another male, who
is also my friend. I apologize for the disarray, as we were not
expecting such esteemed visitors.” He gave his father a shy
smile. Aldalgo returned the smile and nodded.
Rayko led us from the room and back into the corridor. Then
he lead us to another, larger room filled with tables and benches.
“This is the dining room, where we have our meals, and this
table,” he said lightly touching one of the tables, “is the one where
I and my room mate sit.”
He led us out of the dining room and again down the
corridor. Finally the corridor opened up into a large common
room, the walls were lined with books, and other objects, while in
the center of the room were tables, soft and comfortable chairs
and couches and on one wall was a large rectangular object that
resembled a really large television screen, although I knew they
didn’t have television, as that was too mechanized.
“What is that?” I asked, pointing at the screen.
“That is the Meathos Window. Have you not seen one
before?”
“No,” I replied. “What does it do?”
“It is used for teaching and entertainment. At certain times
we obtain instruction from many of our societies most prominent
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individuals. At certain times of the day we are able to view plays,

or other performances from all around Archana. I saw you sing,
Esteemed Christy, and also watched as you became five. We are
also able to communicate with other Residence Centers around
the planet through it.”
“Really? You saw me sing? You saw all that here?” I asked
feeling self-conscious.
“Oh yes, and I am honored to have been chosen to escort
you through my residence.” He gave his head a little bow.
“Well, I am grateful for the honor of meeting you and being
allowed to see your residence. Is there more to see?”
“There is still the learning center.”
He turned on his heal and led us back down the corridor and
through a door. We walked across a landscaped area that was
filled with plants and trees, benches and fountains. On the other
side we entered another building, and inside this one were
classrooms. Not like our classrooms on earth though. There were
no blackboards or tack boards, no desks that all faced in the
same direction. There were tables, scattered about the room at
odd angles, around a large open area of floor for play or doing
projects that did not lend themselves to a table. At any given time,
each table seated five children and an adult, their Teaching
Guide. The Teaching Guide’s job was to provide stimulation and
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information.
“This is one of our classrooms,” said Rayko. “It is not mine,
although mine is also presently empty, as we are socializing out
of doors at this time.
“Where is the teacher?”
“There are five Teaching Guides in this class. They would be
seated at the ends of the tables. At the other end of each table is
the Student Advisor.”
“What does the student advisor do?” I asked.
“They make sure that everyone’s needs are being met and
because they are generally more advanced than the others at the
table, they choose the direction of investigation.”
“What do they investigate?”
“There are topics that are given each day by the Teaching
Guides, and the student advisor discusses the topics with the
other students at the table and then decides which topic would be
most interesting to the group.”
“Give the Esteemed Christy and example of a topic,”
instructed Aldalgo.
“Yes, Esteemed Aldalgo,” he replied, and then turned to me.
“A typical topic might be ethics. The discussion and investigation
would concern points of ethics, such as fairness, commitment,
respect, and honesty. Often, there will be a game in which the
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students act out examples of the points of ethics they are

presently studying, pretending to be either knowledgeable or
ignorant while the others guess which one they portray.”
“When do you learn to read and write?” I asked.
“I learned to read at age three and to write at age four. This
is about average. Reading is a form of personal entertainment
and research, and so it is recognized as an important topic to
pursue from an early age.”
“I see,” I said, thinking maybe the way they were raised,
being exposed to constant nurturing and stimulation, was the
reason why they learned to read so early. I decided that I had
seen enough, and now needed to ask questions that I felt Aldalgo
could better answer. “Is there still time for you to get back with
your friends and socialize?”
Rayko’s face lit up with a broad smile, like a happy gnome in
a white tunic, nodding his head. “Yes, Esteemed Christy, I think
there is. Thank you!” He bowed respectfully, and after we bowed
to him, he turned and ran, his gait jaunty and excited.
“Are you ready to go?” Asked Aldalgo.
“Not yet. I want to see the babies.”
“Ah, the infants. Yes, I can understand your desire to see
them. Take my hand.”
I took his hand and suddenly we were in a nursery where
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tiny babies were held and rocked, while others slept in cribs.
These were very tiny, almost newborn. I went to one wide-eyed
little one being held by a nurse, and I took its little hand, and its
grip was astonishing. When I tried to pull my finger away, the
infant would start to cry. The young nurse handed the child to me.
I took it into my arms and looked into its wide eyes and smiled at
it. The infant’s features twisted about and then relaxed again. I
smiled again, and this time the infant smiled back. Wow! What a
shock! But then this was not a human baby.
I gave the infant back to the nurse. “Do you hold this baby
often?” I asked.
“I am the only one who holds this child. I will remain with this
child until she is old enough to go to the residence.”
“Why is that? Is this the normal way here at the nursery?
Does each baby have it’s own nurse?”
“Yes, although some nurses are capable of fostering two and
sometimes three infants. It depends on your efficiency and
experience. I’m just getting started.”
“So at what age do the children go to the residence?”
“When they are capable of self care and their curiosity has
reached a level that is more appropriate in the residence. It varies
from child to child. It averages between two and three years.” I
wondered what the rotation of this planet was and what its orbital
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transition was.
“So then you just send them away? Don’t they feel
rejected?” I asked.
“There is a continuous transition. The male that will be
Teaching the child, visits the child from the time of their birth, at
least once a day. Then when the transition occurs they are
transferred from the only nurse they’ve known to the only
Teaching Guide they’ve ever known. The transference is gradual,
natural. They strive from the time they can talk to go home with
the Teaching Guide. It is a rite of passage.” She smiled and then
took her baby for a walk.
I looked at Aldalgo, questioningly. “I think I am ready to go,” I
said.
“Where would you like to go?”
“To a quiet place where we can talk and then maybe you can
teach me something.”
“Well then, we are already in the best place I can think of.
Why don’t we go sit beside the fountain in the garden outside and
talk?” He took my hand and suddenly we were in the garden area
between the residence building and the classroom building. He
led me to a bench beside the fountain and we sat down. “Now,”
he spoke in kind and gentle tones, “what would you like to talk
about?”
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Kerry Dennis
I took a deep breath and gathered my thoughts, trying to put

them in some semblance of order. “I have always wanted to live in
a place like this,” I said, waving my hand to indicate the residence
center. “I begged my parents to send me away to a boarding
school. On my planet, that is a place much like this, where
children go to live and learn away from their parents. It probably
wouldn’t have worked out very well though, in view of my illness.
They probably would have sent me right back home. What would
have happened if I had come here? How do you deal with
children who have emotional problems?”
“It is a rare occurrence here,” replied Aldalgo. “But it does
happen. When it does, we look at the caregiver. Generally, what
has happened is that the caregiver has developed a resentment
toward the child and as a result of this has twisted discipline into
an outlet for their anger. When we discover an instance such as
this, the child is appointed a temporary nurse who assists the
child in understanding the situation and in recognizing the part
that they play in it. The child’s nurse is then assisted with her
anger, and trained to redirect it into positive, supportive action.
When she has dealt with her difficulties, she is then reunited with
the child. Rarely does the situation reoccur.”
“Why are only females nurses?”
“Actually, this is something we began to ask ourselves about
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a century ago. The idea of the integration of the sexes is

somewhat new, but we are making headway, thanks to the
Siminians. They have taught us much about the need for
equality. The children are allowed to choose their roommates
now, and often they are of the opposite sex. Our classes are no
longer segregated, and the same opportunities are offered to all
children. We are very gratified by the results. It seems to have
generated a leap forward in our psychic development, as well as
in academic achievement. Nevertheless, girls still seem to
gravitate toward becoming nurses, and boys seem to gravitate
toward becoming Teaching Guides. We think it is biological.”
“Nope, it’s the role model.”
“Explain.”
“What a child sees, the child wants to emulate. If a child
sees that Teaching Guides are male, then male children will want
to emulate them. If they see that nurses are female, then female
children will want to emulate them. You see what I am saying?
With kids it’s, what you see is what you get.”
“Ah hah!” He exclaimed, smiling. “Yes, that is a truth, but
how to shift the view? That is the question.”
“That’s easy,” I said, feeling pretty confident in myself about
now. “The males know what the females have to do in the
performance of their job, the females know what the males have
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Kerry Dennis
to do in the performance of their job, so just ask for volunteers to

switch roles, switch jobs. If you can get half the workforce to
switch, it will shift the focus away from gender.” I had no idea
where this was coming from but it sounded good. I smiled to
myself.
“An interesting idea,” he said, giving me a wonderful smile.
“I’ll give it some thought. I have a feeling you will be doing most of
the teaching here.”
“No, not really. You are really teaching me more than you
know. I realize now that if I had grown up in this kind of an
environment, sexist as it is, I would never have developed my
illness.”
“But then you wouldn’t be you, with all of that experience!”
He said, gently slapping my knee. “I am certain that you would
have been happier, but then you would never have had to
struggle to understand your pain, so you would never have
investigated those things that finally brought you to us, and
brought us the joy of your spontaneous wisdom!”
I felt my cheeks get red and looked away, embarrassed. I
guess he was right though. I wouldn’t be here, on this amazing
planet, having a heart to heart talk with an alien scholar if I had
been raised in a healthy, validating environment. I would never
have met Aranon or learned that there is a group of individuals
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who are striving to save our planet. I think it was at this point that I
became willing to accept my past as the pathway to my present. If
I don’t like where I am going, I can try to change it, but I can’t
change where I have been.
Either I except that where I have been has provided
experience I can draw on to develop new strengths, or I can
wallow in self-pity, clinging to my anger and hate, and poison my
whole life, my whole being. The realization that I had actually
learned something of value, in spite of all the pain and fear, made
it easy to choose the path of acceptance.
I turned back to him and smiled. “Thank you. Sometimes I
feel very unworthy of praise. You see, from my point of view, I am
just sort’a bumbling around, making all sorts of silly mistakes, and
you are all being so nice about it, so accepting of me.”
“Mistakes, Christy, are simply opportunities to learn. You
seem to want to learn as much as you can while you are here.
Nevertheless, It appears that you have been using this method for
some time now and have amassed quite a bit of understanding.
You have some wonderful abilities I would like to study.”
“Well you only got a day and a half, and then I’m gonna
implode, which will probably send us packing back to Anchor.” I
gave his knee a gentle pat. At first he was startled by the action,
and then he laughed.
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Kerry Dennis
“You see what I mean?” He chuckled. “Spontaneous

wisdom!”
“Seriously, Aldalgo, how do you know what is the right thing
to do? Sometimes I think everything is really going along good,
and then I do or say something, spontaneously like that and most
of the time I just wind up feeling stupid. Then things are going
along being difficult and I say something I think will probably be
stupid, and everyone thinks I’m a genius! How can I know when I
am doing or saying the right thing?”
“I think that depends upon the person or persons you are
doing things with and saying things to, he replied. Children tend to
gravitate toward their developmental peers. They do this because
they are discovering that it is beneficial and rewarding to align
with those who understand their viewpoint and desires. You never
had that opportunity, so now you are just beginning to recognize
that there are those who match your level of development and
those who don’t. This has nothing to do with status. There are all
kinds of levels of development from the physical to the spiritual. It
is not how much more an individual is developed than others, but
rather how well they utilize that development to overcome
challenges, seek understanding and to serve others. When you
align with individuals who will support you through your
challenges, explore with you for answers and stand with you as
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you serve others, then you will have found a position where your
ideas are welcomed and your experience is noted.”
“In other words, stop wasting my time with people who
haven’t a clue what I am all about, right?”
“No,” he laughed, “start spending more time with those who
do. The key to a steady growth process is in the realization that
you are more effective when you are going toward what you want,
and less effective when you are retreating from what you don’t
want. The more you focus on what you want, the easier it will
become to achieve it.”
“You make it all sound so easy,” I said. “But sometimes the
problem is that you don’t know what you want, but you know you
don’t want what you are getting.”
“A perfect opportunity to seek out something new and
different,” he replied, his eyes twinkling in the dappled sunlight
peeking through the surrounding trees and shrubs. “A perfect time
to ask yourself, what do I want, and then listen to yourself. But
you have to be what you want if you expect to draw what you
want. If you want love, practice being loving. If you want
understanding, practice giving it. Only when you can exemplify
your quest, will it lead you to where you want to go.”
We talked for many hours, and walked through place after
place where the daily rhythm of life proceeded with joy and
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purpose. Aldalgo took me to factories where clothing was made

on ancient looms and then sewn by hand in prescribed patterns.
The finished products were then packaged and sent to different
institutions. He also took me to shops where produce and other
goods could be obtained, without cost, although there was often
trading going on. They had no monetary system, but they did
have a credit system.
“Each child is born with a certain amount of credit,” he told
me. “That credit grows when the child begins to do his or her
service training. When the child is ready to take his or her first
step toward independence that credit is used to obtain housing,
food, clothing and supplies. Nevertheless, once one is established
in their chosen commitment those things are generally provided
by those they serve. Sometimes in the form of credit, and
sometimes in the form of goods and services.”
“But what if this individual couldn’t make a go at their chosen
profession or commitment and they were out of credit as well?”
“Then they would return to the residence and seek to
discover a more appropriate commitment, while doing community
service. All are valued in our society. No one is left to fend for
themselves without support and assistance. Even those who have
been damaged, in one way or another, are given support and the
opportunity to express themselves as fully as they are capable.”
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“Do you have hospitals?” I asked.

“We have Healing Centers.” He nodded. “Disease is not
unknown to us, but the Meathos has the capacity to strengthen
and heal our bodies and minds, so nearly all disease here is
recoverable. Yes, there are those who are too damaged to
recover, and if they are cognizant of their condition, they have the
right to self terminate. If they are not cognizant, then they are
cared for and made as comfortable as we can make them.
Sometimes this alone can heal even the most damaged
individual.”
By the time I got back to Remmie’s for dinner, my head was
swimming with all of the information I obtained during my day with
Aldalgo. I was grateful for the opportunity to focus on my
externalized inner children. Remmie was chomping at the bit to
pump me for information about where I had gone and what I had
learned, but all I wanted to do was to go and see the children.
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Thirty-Seven
As Kerry struggled back to consciousness, she felt

disoriented and confused. Then, as she opened her eyes, she
saw Anthon and Aranon sitting close by. Slowly, she began to
remember what had happened.
“I’m sorry,” she said feeling ashamed about carrying on like
that.
“You have nothing to be sorry about,” replied Anthon, gently.
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“You did perfectly. That was the best release I have seen in a
long time.”
“But I was screaming and swearing,” she pointed out.
“Whatever works is acceptable.” Anthon took her hand and
helped her to sit up. “Are you hungry?”
“I think so, but my stomach feels a little upset.”
“Then lets start with what I have heard other Earthers call
Jewish penicillin, also known as chicken soup.” He smiled at her
and gave her hand a squeeze and then went to the synthesizer
and programmed a bowl of chicken soup.
“Are you upset with me?” She asked Aranon.
“Not in the least! As a matter of fact I am extremely proud of
you. The work that you’ve done is definitely going to help the
others. And you aren’t quite finished yet. When we leave here,
you will be taking a new freedom that will change all of you.” He
gave her a loving smile.
“I’m through,” she said, still feeling tired. “I don’t have any
more crying left in me.”
“There is still your question that I’m going to help you to find
the answer to,” said Anthon, placing a tray with a bowl of soup
and some crackers on the coffee table in front of her.
“I think I forgot the question.”
“I think the way you put it was; why me?”
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Kerry Dennis
“Oh, yeah.” She slurped a spoonful of soup. It actually tasted

like chicken soup!
“Aranon has shared a few things with me about you and your
system. I hope that that doesn’t disturb you. It will certainly help
me help you to find that answer. Do you remember a lifetime that
Aranon and Christy visited where you were a priest in an ancient
civilization?” He asked.
“Not clearly, no. I am rarely consciously aware of what my
other parts do.”
“But you are aware that you visited such a life, or that Christy
did, yes?”
“Yes.” She slurped more soup and ate a cracker. She was
hungrier than she thought.
“Do you remember what you did as that priest?”
“I guess I abused little boys,” she said sadly. “So, I suppose
they have all come back to abuse me, huh?”
“That is a bit of an over simplification, but essentially, yes. Of
course, there are probably other lives in which you may have
abused others as well, so not all of your experiences come from
that particular life.
“So it’s true then?”
“What is?”
“That what goes around, comes around.”
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“Yes,” he smiled. “That is essentially true.”

“So I could have molested and abused a number of
individuals in who knows how many lives! So, am I going to be
going through this shit for the next ten lifetimes?”
“No, that is not necessarily true. You can work through the
entire issue in one lifetime, which appears to be what you chose
before you entered this one. It is an extremely difficult path, but it
appears that you are quite strong, so you can probably
accomplish it. It can all stop, right here, today.”
“Oh yeah? How? You guys gonna rape me till I’m dead and
that clears the slate?”
Anthon produced a sad smile and shook his head. “Aranon
and I are incapable of that kind of action. You should know that by
now, Kerry. No, the best way that I know of to end the cycle of
pain and abuse is to consider those times where you caused
others great pain, recognize your part in your own pain, ask for
forgiveness from The Source Of All Being, then forgive yourself
and those who have abused you. The last part is when the karmic
cycle is ended. Are you willing to consider those lifetimes and see
your part in this dilemma of yours?”
“Do I need to visit all the lifetimes I have hurt others in?”
“No, all you need to do is visit enough to recognize the
pattern you generated in your previous lives and be willing to seek
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Kerry Dennis
forgiveness, with Christy’s work, you should already be well on

your way.”
“Maybe, I can already see the pattern,” she said, as she
drank the last drop of soup from the bowl. “I think that I am the
epitome, as an aspect of this system, of all that is evil in us.”
Anthon shook his head once again, and smiled. “No, you are
the epitome of all of the anger, fear and need for self protection.
You are not the one that is at fault. Actually, there is no fault. Like
you said, what goes around, comes around, and your job has
been to see that what comes around doesn’t kill you, because you
have more important things to do with your life than loose it as the
result of past confusion and distorted beliefs. You have done your
job well!”
“But it’s not over. I still have to see the pattern. Actually, I
think it is pretty obvious. I misused my position and power in
those other lives. I used others for my own ends, and didn’t care
how much it hurt them. All I cared about was getting my own
needs met.”
“There is probably a lot of truth in that, yes!” Said Anthon,
grinning broadly. “You are really quite intelligent and intuitive! So,
what is the next step?”
“I guess it’s asking for forgiveness. It’s just so hard to do,
considering what I have been through. I mean the child that I was,
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was innocent. She didn’t deserve what she got!”

“So were the hundreds of children that you, in other lives,
abused and molested. You see, there is no way out of this. You
are responsible for your own pain. You are the one who needs to
seek forgiveness and to forgive those who have caused you
harm. Not because this is the only way, but because it is the best
way.”
“Okay, I ask for forgiveness.”
“I can not give it. You must ask The Source Of All Being.”
“I don’t know how.” Her face showed her frustration.
“Would you like assistance?” Asked Anthon.
“Okay,” she said, warily, imagining having to get on her
knees and do the praying thing.
“All right, I will help you,” replied Anthon. “Lay back on the
couch and get comfortable.”
He took her hand as she lay down on the couch and tried to
make herself comfortable. She was ultimately uncomfortable with
anything having to do with the God thing. God had never been
there for her. God had not answered her prayers when she was
being abused, when she was terrified beyond belief, all He did
was watch. Like a divine voyeur, he stood on the sidelines and
simply allowed those men to use her, to abuse her, to hurt her.
God didn’t care.
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Kerry Dennis
Suddenly, she was standing in a great hall, like a church,

shafts of light angling through the stained glass windows and
pooling on the floor. There were no pews, no alter, just a very
large hall, shaped like a church and having stained glass
windows. She stood there for a moment and then Aranon
appeared. He stood before her, smiling his impish smile, doing
that thing with his eyebrows.
“Did you come to entertain me?” Asked Kerry.
“I am a priest. I have come to hear your confession.”
“Well I’m not Catholic, so you’re out’a luck.”
“That’s all right, I am ecumenical. I’ll listen to anyone’s
confession.”
“Okay, so in past lives I’ve screwed up.”
“And just how did you screw up?”
“I hurt people, mostly kids, in awful and painful ways. I am
really sorry I did that.”
“Why are you sorry?”
“Because it has all happened to me and I know how it feels
and I am sickened at the thought that I did this to others, that I did
this to children. I thought it was the right thing to do. I didn’t know
that I was being abusive, or I didn’t know that it was wrong, or I
was too sick to know what I was doing! I don’t know! All I know is
that I understand the pain and the crumbling of one’s self in the
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face of this terrible abuse. I hate it. I find it hard to believe that I
have ever done such awful things but I am coming to believe. I
want this to stop! I don’t want to go through another life like this. I
refuse to continue in a life that keeps to leading me into abuse
after abuse! It’s got to stop! How do I stop it?”
“Forgive them all, for they were only completing a cycle that
began with you. A cycle you are ready to end. The only way to
end it is to forgive them all, for they didn’t know it was wrong or
were to sick to know what they were doing. Here you stand, equal
with your abusers. Release your anger, for it is what feeds the
cycle. Release your fear, for it is the way that you draw karmic
involvements. Release all of the energy that you have tied up in
these involvements by forgiving them all and then forgiving
yourself, it ends the cycle. That forgiveness could release
thousands from the bondage of this common karma.”
“How can I forgive their brutality?”
“By remembering your own. By remembering the
circumstances that generated your own abusiveness.”
“It’s hard to believe that is me. I can feel the truth in it, but I
find it hard to believe.”
“Because you are looking at it from the position of a victim.
As a victim, you would never harm another if you could help it. But
you have often, even in this life, abused the trust of others. Not
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because you chose to, but rather because you were driven to.
You have played other people to get your needs met. You have
been controlling and manipulative, hurtful and even destructive.
Who is the perpetrator? Who is the perpetrator now?”
“Okay, so I forgive myself. I didn’t know I was perpetuating a
cycle.”
“That’s not enough, Kerry. You have to forgive your abusers.
Maybe you need another trip back into your past to see the
abuser that you were.”
“No, that’s okay,” she said backing away from him. She
raised her hands as if to fend him off. “I know I have been abusive
and hurtful. I know that I have done awful things to others. I just
don’t understand why this God guy just lets this keep happening
again and again. I mean, what’s the point? I hurt you, you hurt
me, I hurt you, you hurt me, I mean, it just seems to go on and on!
What the hell is the point?”
“Forgiveness. They only way to fly.”
“What the hell good does that do? I mean it’s already
happened. What’s it gonna change?”
“A cycle of events, if you really mean it.”
“Okay then, I don’t think I can mean it.”
“That’s why I suggested you visit another life, so that you
can connect with your abusive self, and understand what led to
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the abusiveness.”
“How do I know these visions you show me are really my
past lives? How do I know that any of this is anything more than
an elaborate dream?”
“If it is just an elaborate dream, then you have nothing to
loose by playing along. If these are not your past lives, you need
not claim them.”
“So why take me to them? What difference can it make?”
“Maybe you will awaken to who you really are.”
“Yeah, and maybe I won’t, Jerk-off.”
“It’s all right. It’s just a dream, just a vision. Nothing you need
to become connected to if you don’t want to.” He reached out his
hand. She hesitated, fearfully, but then took it. He smiled.
Suddenly, she felt herself in a male body. There was no
doubt of that. This body had an erection. He was standing over a
young girl of maybe seven or eight. He was going to rape her. It
was his right, and he took his rights seriously. This was the child
of the enemy. She was his. He earned her and he did so much
like the tight little children! Their little bodies grabbed him, held
him, throbbed around his organ and generated the most heavenly
feelings! He knew that this was a gift from the gods. He knew that
the gods had smiled on him today by placing this perfect little
confection in his path!
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He began ripping the soiled rags that passed for clothing off
this enemy child, growing more and more excited as he viewed
her small writhing body. He found her secret place with his fingers
and gauged the size. Ahhh, this was going to be a tight one! He
almost ejaculated just thinking about the sensations he was about
to enjoy.
As he drove into her, her screams were music to him, an
accompaniment the girl provided to his performance. Oh she was
good! Soon, he paid little attention to her screams. She was his
gift for his valor in battle! No one would save her, but many would
listen, and imagine their own female captives and play through
their own fantasies. He had to make it last for them. So he raped
her vaginally, until the blood made it too slick to feel the tightness,
and then he raped her anally. He was hoping for a long session,
to feed the fantasies of his fellows and to enjoy himself, but she
died too quickly. When he had finished what he was doing he
dumped the child’s naked body in with the other captives, living
and dead. At this point, Aranon let go of Kerry’s hand.
Kerry sank to the floor, and began to sob in deep, full body
sobs. “No!” she cried. “That wasn’t me! That couldn’t have been
me! Damn! Damn! I actually felt enjoyment! I can’t believe you did
that to me! Shit! She was just a screaming animal! She was just
the spoils of war! God damn it! Why did you take me there? Why
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did you make me feel that? You son of a bitch! You freaking son
of a bitch!”
“I didn’t take you there, Kerry. I had no idea where we would
go. You took me there. I agree it was extremely graphic and
terribly tactile. Still, you enjoyed it at the time. You were oblivious
to that poor child’s pain. In fact, it excited you even more! You felt
that excitement. You felt the glee with which you first took her.
You felt the disappointment when she died too soon for you to
really fulfill your fantasy. You were thinking of your friends. You
were trying to give them a show that would get them off too. You
were being considerate and caring toward your soldiers!”
“Stop it! Just stop it! That wasn’t me! I couldn’t do that!”
“You felt the feelings, you felt the glee, the physical
enjoyment! How could you feel those things if it wasn’t something
you could relate to? How could it be so real for you if you had
never experienced it? I can’t give you experiences that you have
not had. I can only bring to light an experience that is written on
your permanent atom.”
“All right, all right! I felt the enjoyment! I didn’t know it was
wrong when I felt it! I thought it was my right as a warrior! She
meant nothing to me except as a prize for the gratification of my
own desires! If I had known, if I could have related to her pain, I
would have been mortified! I am sorry! I am really, really sorry!”
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“Now, place yourself in the position of your abusers. If they

could have known, really known and understood the harm they
were doing, the lifetime of pain they were causing, don’t you think
they would be sorry too? Imagine them discovering in a future life
the despicable things they have done and their pain at seeing it,
realizing that it was they that did these things. Are they sorry,
Kerry?”
“Yes! Yes they are sorry!”
“Can you forgive them? Feel their anguish. Feel your own
anguish at this discovery. Can you forgive them?”
“Yes,” she said, retreating into deep sobs.
All at once there was a light around her, and she heard a
voice speaking directly to her heart. “You have broken the cycle of
abuse. Henceforth you will be free of the abuse of others, unless
you choose to revisit it. You have dissolved the karmic bond
between yourself and countless others. All of you are free now to
take a different path. Be at peace, you have won your battle.” At
this point Kerry awoke on the couch, Anthon still holding her
hand. There were tears in his eyes.
“Welcome back,” he said, as tears dripped from his chin. He
wiped his cheeks with his sleeve, and smiled at her.
“I don’t know why that was so hard,” she said, smiling though
her own tears.
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“It is hard for everyone, little one. Everyone becomes caught

up in their need to be right, and looses sight of the benefits of self-
honesty, open mindedness and the willingness to release their
anger and their hate. It takes time for some of us to realize that
there is life beyond our overwhelming pain and anger, and that all
we need to do is forgive, to release that pain and hate with love.
Only then can we rejoin that life we were meant to live. Only then
can we discover the well of understanding and love within us that
The Source Of All Being restores to us when we release that
which has hidden It’s love from us.
“I have to admit I feel really different,” she remarked. “And
hungry! This time I want a meal, not just a bowl of soup!”
“I think we could all use a meal,” replied Anthon, laughing,
even as the tears continued to flow from his eyes. He pulled her
up into his arms and gave her a loving and grateful hug. “Thank
you,” he said. “Thank you for helping me to get my own life back. I
will be forever grateful to you!”
Aranon sat quietly, in his chair across the room and smiled
to himself.
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Thirty-Eight
When I reached the top of the stairs, I found the children all
sitting at their tables, quietly. I assumed this was part of the ritual,
Tonga’s ritual. They were waiting for him. The substitute Teaching
Guide, a very young Sensarian, sat patiently waiting as well. As
they saw me, my kids all stood up and came toward me. Lynn
was the first, running to me and throwing her arms around my
waist.
“Mommy!” she said, hugging me. “I love you Mommy!”
“I love you too, Lynn. I love all of you, Sissy and Davy too!
Let’s go sit down and wait for Tonga. He likes to play his little
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game. It makes him happy.” I smiled at them and herded them

back to their chairs. I found a chair and pulled it over to Davy and
Lynn’s table.
Aldalgo appeared just about where I had been a moment
ago. He smiled and waved for the young Teaching Guide to
depart and he did so with what looked like relief on his face.
Aldalgo then clapped his hands and all the children got up and
arranged themselves in a line from the youngest to the oldest. He
walked past each of them, checking them over, whispering to
each of them, touching each of them lovingly on head or shoulder.
At this point, Tonga came up the stairs and went through his
little ritual, and then we all started down the stairs to the dining
table. As we entered the kitchen, Remmie was talking to someone
on her communicator. She winked at me and I joined her, seeing
Aranon’s face in the stone.
“Hi there, Christy!” Said Aranon smiling. “We will be back just
as soon as Remmie can arrange it.”
“That’s easy,” I said. “Remmie, give the communicator to
Aldalgo. He can bring them back right now!”
Remmie looked at me and crossed her eyes. “Now why
didn’t I think of that?” She took the communicator to Aldalgo. He
spoke with Aranon for a moment and then placed the
communicator to his forehead and Aranon and Kerry appeared in
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the common room. Now we were all there for dinner! Tomorrow
was our last day as separate bodies, and I was so glad that we
would be spending it together. Aranon and Kerry joined us at the
table and we all sat.
Remmie began to pass the plates around, and to my
surprise, we were having pizza and salad! “Remmie, What is this
pizza made of?”
“Well we don’t have tomatoes, but I found a fruit and a
vegetable that when combined taste and look a lot like tomatoes.
We do have cheese; although it may taste a little different then
you are used to. I searched and searched for the herbs and
spices, and I hope you find the result pleasing.” She smiled as
she watched me take a slice.
I took a bite, and after the first strangeness of it, I thought it
was delicious! “Wow, Remmie, this is delicious!” She grinned
even wider.
“It don’t taste like pizza,” said Davy, making a face.
“No, Davy, it doesn’t taste like Earth pizza. It tastes like
Archana pizza, and I think it’s really good!” Said Kerry, taking a
bite and making the “um” sound.
Davy took another bite, and chewed slowly, savoring the
taste. “Yeah, okay, for Archana pizza it’s really good.” Everyone
laughed.
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Then Targo started with his what did you learn today thing
and the children all sat at attention. Of course, Lynn just kept right
on eating.
Demmie talked about the difference between birds and some
other species I have never heard of. Then Dagna talked about
ethical behavior. Finally it was my turn to ask the questions.
“Lynn, what did you learn today?” I asked.
“That Archana pizza is really good!” She said, taking another
bite.
“Yeah, me too,” said Davy, without my asking. I had a feeling
the young Teaching Guide didn’t have a clue what to do with my
kids.
“How about you, Sissy? What did you learn?”
“I had to go pay. I dint learn nothin’,” she said picking her
food apart with her fingers.
“Did you go play all by yourself?” I asked, concerned.
“No, Aridity wen wif me. She payed games wif me and when
I got seepy she wet me way in her wap.”
I turned to the almost invisible Aridity, who sat quietly,
smiling at Sissy. “Thank you Aridity, for taking such good care of
my Sissy.”
She seemed to be taken off guard by that and turned to me,
a blank look on her face. “I am a Nurse,” she said, finally. “I
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maintain my commitments.”
“Nevertheless,” I said. “I would like to express my gratitude
for your kindness to Sissy.”
She looked at Aldalgo and he nodded. Then she turned to
me and smiled. “I would like to express my gratitude for the
opportunity to spend the day with Sissy. She is a very special part
of you.”
“All of my parts are special,” I said smiling at all my inner
family, and the little ones beamed happy smiles. Then I turned to
Kerry. I was unsure if I should include her in this.
But she must have known what I was thinking because she
smiled at me and then said; “I learned that we never have to be
abused again unless we decide that’s what we want. I also
learned that forgiveness is the key to releasing karma. I am also
glad to be back with my family.” She smiled shyly and then took
another bite of Archana pizza. After savoring the unique flavor,
she looked at Aldalgo. “Mr. Aldalgo, would you please forgive my
terrible behavior at dinner last time? Would you all please forgive
my inappropriate behavior the last time we were all here
together?” She added, looking around the table at each individual,
with an earnest look on her face.
Even as Aranon smiled, a sheen of tears glistened in his
eyes. Aldalgo was a little slower to respond, and everyone
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seemed to be holding their breath as they awaited a response

from him.
“Only if you will be kind enough to forgive me for injecting
myself into your disagreement with Aranon. It was an
inconsiderate and thoughtless thing for me to do.” He finally said,
in a gentle and compassionate tone.
“Really?” Asked Kerry, taken aback.
“Yes,” responded Aldalgo, softly. “Will you forgive me?”
“Well, sure!” She said, genuinely confused. “Of course I
forgive you!”
“Then consider yourself completely forgiven by me.” He
looked around the table. “Is there anyone here who is unwilling to
forgive Kerry’s understandable but disrespectful outburst during
our previous dinner, especially since she is willing to acknowledge
that her behavior was inappropriate and beg our forgiveness?”
The kids shook their heads and no one spoke.
“I am assuming that everyone here forgives you as well, and
will hopefully tell you so in their own time and in their own way,”
said Aldalgo, gracing each person at the table with a nod and a
gentle smile.
Aranon also allowed himself a grateful smile, knowing that
Kerry had finally become willing to release her karmic
entanglements. Finally, he spoke. “Tomorrow is our last day
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before all of you return to your single body. I would like to spend
the day with all of you, assisting you in preparing for your
reintegration. I would like to take you all to the Meathos Mother
Pool. Is everyone okay with that?”
“Is it nice there?” Asked Lynn.
“It is very nice there,” I said, “and there are benches and
tables and trees. Maybe we could take a picnic lunch?” I looked at
Remmie.
“Of course! I’ll make my famous peanut butter and jelly
sandwiches!” She seemed excited about that, and was positively
glowing.
“Yippee!” Said Lynn, enthusiastically. “We’re gonna have a
picnic!”
After a good night’s sleep and a good breakfast, Aranon

rounded us all up and took us to the Meathos Mother Pool. He
found a large round table where there was enough room for all of
us and asked us to be seated.
“Now,” he began, in a gentle voice. “The reason that I
brought you all here is because I would like for you to have the
opportunity to experience co-consciousness, and I know that the
Meathos will help you do that. I had hoped that you would develop
it naturally, as the result of being split up into individual bodies,
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but for the most part, that hasn’t happened, yet. It is my feeling,
as an experienced Facilitator, that you would all benefit from at
least getting a feel for it.”
“Do we have to go into the pool if we don’t want to?” Asked
Davy.
“Why would you not want to, Davy?” He asked. “Don’t you
want to be awake when the body is awake?”
“I don’t wan’a,” said Davy. “I don’t wan’a remember any bad
stuff.”
“Okay, good point. What I will tell the Meathos when you get
into the Mother Pool, is that you want to experience being all of
one mind. I will let the Meathos know that you will not be visiting
traumas, you will be visiting one another and learning about co-
consciousness.”
“Okay, so what is coshiness?” He asked
“Co-consciousness,” said Aranon, giving Davy a gentle
smile, “is the ability to be aware of what is going on at all times,
with all other parts of yourself, no matter who is using the body. It
is also being able to know which feelings don’t belong to you.”
“Yes,” I said. “There’s been a lot of times when I knew the
feelings I was feeling weren’t mine, but I didn’t know whose they
were. And there were lots of times when others were out, when
I’ve had missing time and didn’t know what happened. It would be
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Kerry Dennis
nice to put an end to that.”

“Yeah, but what’s the point? We will still all be cooped up in
this one body anyway,” said Kerry
“Well, first of all you will all be conscious in the now,”
responded Aranon. “That means that you will be able to share in
what the body is experiencing at any given time, and be able to
add your input to the whole as to what choices are made, on what
decisions are made. It also means that you can grow up.”
“What if we don’t wan’a grow up?” Asked Lynn.
“Then you don’t have to,” he said, looking at Lynn. “The point
is, you will have a choice. You will no longer be frozen in time,
focused on the pain of the terrible trauma that generated your
individual personality. As you spend your time, mainly in the now,
you begin to want to grow, to do more, to see more and to
experience more. As you do that, you will become more aware,
more educated, and more mature. But there is nothing wrong with
becoming an intelligent, aware eight-year-old.”
“Okay,” said Lynn.
“How about you, Sissy? What do you think?”
“Can we still has kissmas and pwesents, and Santa?” She
asked, almost pleading.
“I am sure that Christy will have a wonderful time enjoying
that tradition with all of you.” He smiled and winked at sissy, who
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was on her knees so that she could see over the table. “Any more
questions?”
“Yeah,” said Kerry. “If we get this ability while in the
Meathos, can we keep it?”
“That remains to be seen. But whether you can keep it or
not, in your present state of separation, you will have the
experience to rebuild it once you are all back together. Basically, I
just want you to see what’s it’s like, so that you will know what you
want when the time comes.”
“And if we decide we don’t want it?” Asked Kerry, pushing.
“That will always be your individual choice. Nevertheless, it
would be a good idea to experience it, even briefly, so that you
know what you are deciding against.”
Kerry dropped her eyes into her lap, unwilling to look Aranon
in the eye. She was frightened. She also felt guilty, because she
had always been the cynical one, the one who had guarded the
whole from those who would use or abuse and had judged others
not by what they said or did, but by what she had felt from them.
Maybe, sometimes, she had been wrong. Maybe she had
thwarted helpful relationships with her distrust, with her fear.
Maybe, when joined with the whole, she would get in the way of
genuine assistance with her fear and mistrust.
“Okay,” he said, after giving plenty of time for Kerry to
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respond, if she wanted to. “We will all walk into the pool together.
Davy, you have never experienced the Meathos, have you?”
“No,” he replied, shaking his head, his eyes wary.
“Meathos looks like water, but it is not water. You can
breathe it just like air, although it may seem strange to start with.
You may get the idea that you will drown, but that’s not true. It just
feels different from air when you breathe it. If you will relax, the
Meathos will assist you in feeling more comfortable. There is
nothing to be afraid of.
“We will all hold hands and walk together into the pool. We
will all help each other, and once we get into the pool, you will
hear me ask the Meathos to allow all of you to be co-conscious, to
be all of one mind. Then, you will all be able to talk together,
without speaking. You will also see other things, like memories
that are new to you, and feelings you may not understand. Just be
patient and open. These will not be traumatic memories, although
they may be a little disturbing. The Meathos will assist you.” He
took Sissy off the marble bench, and suggested that we all get up.
We followed Aranon to the steps of the Mother Pool. There
was plenty of room for us all to stand abreast of one another and
walk into the pool together. Aranon took Davy’s hand and
continued to hold sissy. He asked that I take Lynn and Kerry’s
hands, and then slowly, like a dance team, we descended the
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stairs together into the Meathos. As it got over Sissy’s head she
began trying to swim, but that didn’t work, because The Meathos
is not a liquid. Aranon held her in the crook of his arm, speaking
softly to her, telling her not to be afraid. Davy, had a moment of
panic, but it passed quickly, and Lynn just marched right in, a
smile on her face. Kerry was a little more cautious, but made the
transition without incident.
“Meathos I, Aranon, ask that you give these five, all of one
system, the ability to have but one mind, and to be co-conscious.
This will assist them greatly when they all return to one body.”
I saw Meestra arrive before us, smiling at each of us and
then going to Aranon and taking little Sissy in her arms.
“I am Meestra, and I am your special angel. I am here to
protect you and to nurture you. In just a moment, you will all
become aware of one another in a way that you have never
experienced before. There is nothing to fear. I will be here with
you and will protect you each from any pain or anguish that you
may meet in one another. It is important that you see these
things, but it is not important that you feel them. Above all it is
important that each of you recognize the true self, the one self,
which created your original body of manifestation, the body that
you were born with, so that you can experience the unity that lies
beneath your present diversity. See now that oneness that you
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truly are!”
All at once we were aware of a merging of our thoughts and
feelings. At first it was frightening, and the little ones began to cry.
Meestra soothed and nurtured Sissy, who then became wide
eyed and finally stuck her thumb in her mouth and laid her head
on Meestra’s breast. The others also became wide-eyed, and
then suddenly aware, as I was, that we were all consciously
connected to one another. We all became aware of the history
and the pains of each alter. We didn’t need to discuss these
things, for we knew, intimately, all of the details, as if they had
happened to us, which in truth they had. After a time we all
became aware of our intrinsic unity, and that we were in fact one
person who had experienced a number of profoundly disturbing
events that had shattered us, as a perfect crystal might shatter
when struck in the wrong spot with a small chisel and hammer.
Here, for the first time since early childhood, we stood as
one, able to see our life as one, like a beautiful crystal and yet
seeing the light of our life bent and changed by passing through
each of it’s facets. I savored this moment as tears welled in my
eyes. For the first time in my life, I saw myself as whole. I was a
single crystal with five facets, each bending the light in it’s own
unique way to form a rainbow of color that was me.
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As we finally immerged from the Mother Pool; Sissy back in

Aranon’s arms, sleeping peacefully on his chest with thumb in
mouth; we were all silent, and yet a storm of thoughts and
questions raged within us, and among us, as we retained the
unified awareness that began in the pool.
Aranon led us back to the bench, and began drawing
sandwiches and small covered cartons that contained individual
servings of tea, from a bag he had been wearing over his
shoulder. Everyone sat, excepting their lunch as it was handed to
them, silent, and yet not silent at all, for our minds were
communicating on another level. Davy was the only one who was
not jabbering away with the rest of us in his mind.
“Davy,” I said aloud. “Why are you hiding from us?”
“Because I don’t belong,” he said.
“What do you mean you don’t belong?” I said, getting up and
giving him a deep and caring hug. “Move over Lynn and let me sit
next to Davy.” She smiled and scooted over so that I could sit.
“You are part of us Davy, or you wouldn’t be here. We all saw
your part. What makes you think you don’t belong?”
“I didn’t get sexually molested because I was a boy. Nothing
bad happened to me.” He looked down into his lap, trying to hide
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his tears.
“Davy, what happened to you was different, but just as
painful. You weren’t just rejected you were ignored. The only time
you weren’t ignored was when other people, including our own
mother, were making fun of you! Everyone treated you like an
outcast. You lived in your dreams of becoming a member of the
Armed Forces. You fantasized about creating an organization
called The Son’s Of The Brotherhood, where you would fight evil
and save the innocents. You wrote about our time in Auschwitz.
You held those memories. You built the prison in the back yard.
Some of us played with you there, for we too felt the connection,
and you were never really alone.
“You strove with all your might to be an acceptable boy, and
yet no one noticed, no one cared. Your days and nights were
filled with the tears and the anguish of loneliness, separation and
out and out neglect! You came home from school each day to
only your brother. He loved you, but he was having more and
more difficulty dealing with your unusual behavior. Eventually, he
abandoned you and then you had no one. That’s when Kerry
came along to give you peace.” By this time Davy was sobbing,
and I held him to me, surrounding him as much as I could with my
body, so he could feel loved and protected.
“Now that you all know what co-consciousness is like, what
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do you think?” Asked Aranon.

“It’s neat,” replied Lynn, “but scary too!” Her smile turned into
a fearful look.
“Yes, there are a lot of things your didn’t know about, that
you do now. This is probably a little scary, but Meestra protected
you from the full pain of it. This way you can investigate these
scary things slowly, with a facilitator who can help you to deal with
them, individually and together. What about the rest of you? What
do you think?”
“I think for the first time in my life I really feel like I belong,
like I am all here,” said Kerry. “I never knew why I was until now. I
came to stop the pain, and I just wound up drawing more. I did
that because I didn’t know how not to. I was so bound by getting
everyone’s needs met, that I couldn’t see where I was drawing
individuals into our life that were destined to hurt us, again and
again.
“But now I see I wasn’t the only one who did that. We all did
it to some degree. We were all so desperate for love, for
validation, that we allowed others to take advantage of us. We
had no choice; we were desperate. They had no choice; they
were driven by their karma. No one is to blame, it is just the way
life happens.”
“Christy? How about you?” Asked Aranon, after Kerry fell
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silent.
“I think it’s already been said,” I replied, hesitantly. “I feel
complete. I can see my part in all that has occurred in our life. I
can also see that forgiveness is not excusing the behavior of
others. Forgiveness is releasing the anger, hate and pain we have
felt for those who have wronged us; as well as for ourselves in our
shame. Forgiveness is finally seeing that everything happens for
a reason, and that we are all caught in the same wheel of karma
until we can find that forgiveness within our hearts. It’s not what
has happened, but rather what can happen if we can release the
past and focus in the now. It’s not what and where we have been,
but what we can become that counts.”
“I wan’a be a ballerina!” Said Sissy, and everyone laughed,
even Aranon. He hugged her and danced with her once again, as
he held her in his arms.
By the time that we began our return to Remmie’s house,

there was only twelve hours left in our fantasy of separation. We
made the best of it by sharing ourselves with one another, and by
developing the capacity to communicate mentally with, not only
one another, but with Remmie, her family and Aranon as well.
There was a lot of shared pain during that time, but there was
also loads of shared joy as well. By the time that we went to
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sleep, we were all convinced that in spite of our pending

reunification, we would retain this gift of conscious connection.
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Thirty-Nine
Aranon got us all up early the next morning, to prepare us for

our reunification. We had breakfast, and then Aranon took as all
down to the surface beside the Mother Pool once again. We stood
at the edge, remembering our time as separate individuals,
feeling our seperativeness and knowing that it was just an illusion,
and yet grateful for it. My heart swelled with love for my inner
family, who had come to know themselves and each other, and
who had each struggled in their own way to understand their pain
and to give it up with love. The collective ‘I’ had become more
aware of itself and then more aware of it’s place in the universe, a
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place where we all had come to realize we had a say in what

happened to us. We all held our destiny in our own hands. It was
ours to make. The freedom to be who we truly are comes from
within us. We are united now, and the possibilities are endless!
Suddenly, there was a rushing, like a wind and I stood alone
next to Aranon beside the pool. I looked around and then sobbed
at my perceived loss. Aranon held me, surrounding me with
himself, as I had done for Davy, holding me until the shock and
the sensation of aloneness passed.
“They are all still there, said Aranon, gently. “If you will listen,
you can hear them telling you they are there.”
I listened to my inner reality and heard them each identifying
themselves, each pleading for me to recognize them. I held them
all in my mind, the vision of how they had presented themselves
as individuals still fresh in my memory. I allowed myself to identify
each of them, visualizing myself hugging them in their unique
identities, assuring each of them that we were still together, still a
family of individuals, as well as a unity, of one mind and body.
Now the tears were tears of happiness and reunion. Nothing was
lost and much had been gained.
“It’s time to return to Anchor, Christy. It is time to take the
next step.”
“What’s the next step?” I asked, tears still dripping from my
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eyes.
“To become who you really are,” he replied. “To decide what
you want to do with the rest of your life.”
“I already know what that is,” I said. “I know that I want to
help people. I want to make a difference in the lives of those who
have experienced too much pain and are captives of it. I want to
educate people about how pain and trauma can distort their
thinking and make them do things they really don’t want to do. I
want to teach them about forgiveness and how to get there. I want
to do what you do, Aranon, and help people to heal and become
forces for good in this life. I want to make a difference.”
“I am sure that can be arranged,” he said, smiling broadly,
“but we still have a little more work to do.” He took my hand and
led me, alone but not alone, back to Remmie’s.
When we arrived at Remmie’s, she informed us that we
would be attending a farewell party in the Great Hall before we
would be allowed to leave. Aranon gave her a look that was
somewhere between exasperation and resignation. “Well, I guess
you could leave without attending,” she said, with an embarrassed
look, ”but it would be really nice if you would come.”
“Of course we will,” replied Aranon, his mood brightening.
“All of the people of Archana have been very helpful and
supportive, and it would be nice to have the opportunity to thank
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them.”
“How about you, Christy? Do you feel the same way?” She
asked, hopefully.
“Sure Remmie, I would like to be able to thank them too,” I
said with no idea what that would mean.
“Oh! I am so glad!” She said, dancing in place like one of my
kids. “It would mean so much to my people!”
So, Remmie led us one more time to the Great Hall, which
was filled to overflowing once again. She took my hand and
marched me down the center isle, as Aranon followed, his face
filled with pride and love.
When we reached the dais, Remmie and I ascended the
steps together, Aranon bringing up the rear. She led me to face
the council, all assembled, sans polished table, standing shoulder
to shoulder across the stage. We came to a stop before them and
Remmie spoke in her native tongue and then in Sensarian, and
then in English. She stood, poised and filled with confidence as
she addressed first the Council and then those who had come to
bid us farewell.
“Because of my experience with the terror and pain of sexual
abuse I was asked to sponsor this Earther. I was asked to provide
her with hospitality and to assume the position of guide while she
was here. At first, I felt this to be an imposition on my already full
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Kerry Dennis
life as a wife, mother, teacher and archeologist. Let me tell you

now, that nothing in my life has ever been as important as being
the friend, yes, the friend of this Earther. You have all met
Earthers. You have all felt their arrogance and their distain for
those who do not resemble them, or think as they do. You all felt
the misgivings when the One, Christy first arrived. Still, you didn’t
hide from her, and you didn’t shun her. For that I am eternally
grateful! For, you see that she is not like the rest. She is not only
unique in her personal plight, but she is also unique among them
all. She never wore her uniqueness as a badge of aloofness, or
as a symbol of her superiority. On her second day here she
carried one of our own children, lovingly, carefully, and with the
dignity and respect of the child’s own mother.
“This was extremely difficult for her, as in her world, a child
without clothing is a target for abuse beyond your comprehension
or even your desire to comprehend. I understood it because I
have experienced that kind of abuse, as the result of my own
childhood experience. It took more than just caring and
consideration for children to induce her to pick up that child and
cradle him in her arms. She gave that child more than just the
spiritual name of Courage. She gave him her love. Nevertheless,
the name she chose for this child signifies the power that comes
from within each individual. This Power resides in Siminian,
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Sensarian and even the Meathos. It is that power that assists us

in being willing to face our internal fear and then in doing that
which is most needed, most loving in spite of the danger we feel,
be it real or imagined. While she has been with us, she has
shared herself with us, unafraid, unashamed. She has shared her
songs of struggle and enlightenment, and her ideas and opinions,
filled with insight and understanding freely, openly and without
judgment. She has no idea how deeply she has touched us, or
how much she has changed our lives by choosing to walk among
us.
“Even now, she clings to her humility, her need to discount
our adulations as overblown, as inconsistent with her true sense
of self. She truly feels that she has done nothing important while
she has been with us. She truly feels that our gratitude and praise
of her, for her unselfishness is undeserved, and unearned. So let
me if you will, represent all of us, Siminian, Sensarian and the
Meathos, all of us on Archana, in thanking her for gracing us with
her presence and in letting her know that her time with us will not
only be remembered, but that it will, and already has changed us
and expanded our understanding in ways that will make a better
life for us all!” A cheer went up from the crowd of both Siminians
and Sensarians. Remmie stepped away from center stage,
returned to me and encouraged me to speak to the crowd. I was
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Kerry Dennis
overwhelmed.
I walked out to the center of the stage and faced the council.
I was shaking so bad that I was sure they could see it. For a
moment I stood silent, facing the council, not knowing what to
say.
“Thank you for allowing me and my inner family to
experience life, even for a short time, as individual beings. I have
learned much as the result of your willingness to assist me. You
have made a difference in my life. Thank you! Thank you all for
your willingness to allow all of me, all of my parts, the opportunity
to get to know one another.” I stood for a moment, not knowing
what else I could say. A hint of a smile suffused The Most High’s
face. He motioned for me to come to him. Still shaking and unsure
of my footing, I went to him and he embraced me.
“Do you fear us?” He whispered to me. Now I knew he could
see and feel how badly I was shaking.
“No, Esteemed One,” I said thinking it best to acknowledge
his position.
“Then what is it you fear?” He asked in the same hushed
voice, an astonished look on his face.
Well lets see, looking like an idiot, saying something I didn’t
mean, not being able to think of anything to say and then just
standing there feeling like a fool. Those would do for starters. “I
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feel that my performance and my statements will be inadequate or

in error, Esteemed One.”
“Ah,” he said. “I have felt the same way on occasion. Most of
the time it were the feelings that were in error, and my
performance was exemplary. I trust that this will be the case for
you as well.” He smiled and then embraced me again, and I could
feel his warmth. I hugged him back, and this seemed to astonish
him more. Finally, recovering from his shock, he smiled. Then he
motioned for me to face the crowd.
I turned to the crowd in the hall. I was flabbergasted at how
many there were! I even saw Rayko sitting amongst a group of his
peers. The sight of all of those loving and expectant faces brought
tears to my eyes and I struggled with all my being, asking for
assistance from within, to maintain my focus.
“I thank you all,” I said, fighting back tears. “I thank all
Siminians for offering their voices to the Think-See that allowed
my system to become separate parts for a short time. I thank all
the people of Archana for being patient with me, and for honoring
me, even when my thoughts and feelings must have caused you
much pain and fear. I especially want to thank Rayko, for showing
me his residence and sharing with me his love for life. I also want
to express my gratitude at his willingness to escort me through his
world, a world that I wish I could have had.
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Kerry Dennis
“I feel honored to have been given the opportunity to meet

so many of you! I am honored that you thought I was worth your
time and your indulgence. I am honored that Aldalgo; the very
esteemed Teaching Guide of Remmie and her family; thought I
was worth his time, and thus he gave up his usual daily duties so
that he could show me how Sensarians live and introduce me,
with pride, to the Sensarian children and their lifestyle.
“All of you, citizens of Archana, I love you! No matter which
race you are! Whether you are Siminian, Sensarian or Meathos!
All of you make up a symbiotic unity that is unique in the entire
universe, as I know it! You are truly a unity in your diversity! You
are the epitome of racial integration and equality, from my
standpoint. You have all chosen to work together to raise one
another up, to offer each other opportunities to attain your
individual highest potential! From my point of view you offer a
template from which all planets of mixed races can pattern
themselves and promote the unity that underlies diversity. The
people of your planet are my heroes! I will remember you forever
with love and admiration!” A cheer went up, and I stood there like
the proverbial deer in the headlights, not quite knowing what to
do. Finally, I decided I should say goodbye.
“Soon, very soon, I will be returning to Anchor, where I will
have to complete my integration and healing. As I leave you, I
713
also want Remmie and her family to know that I am forever in

their debt for providing not just housing, but a family that all of
those within me have come to love and respect, and will miss
deeply.
“I am just a person, like each and every one of you, in spite
of your global consciousness. I have my own history, my own
feelings, and my own challenges, just as each of you do on your
own personal level. Each one of you is important! Each one of
you is a person, with your own needs, your own desires for the
future. Yes, even you Rayko. You are not just a part of the whole.
You are an individual, with hopes and dreams, with talents and
abilities that are unique to you. You can become anything you
desire! You can become anything your faith and inner strength
presses you to become. Whatever you decide, as individuals, as
a planetary oneness, let it be open to new ideas, even ones
having to do with technology. Technology is only as dangerous as
the attitudes of those who utilize it. I see no danger in your hearts.
“Thank you again for your love and support, and your
willingness to assist in the healing of just one individual. I will be
forever in your debt, and will forever owe you my allegiance as an
Archanian. You gave me that position and I value it as much as
my own life. I seek to love, not hate, I seek to heal not hurt, and I
seek to serve and not to exact due service. I may be leaving your
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Kerry Dennis
beautiful planet, but a part of me stays here, loving you,

encouraging you to rediscover yourselves, to rediscover your
technology and then to use it in the service of others.”
I bowed and another cheer went up. I hurried over and stood
beside Remmie, but the cheer kept roaring, and people were
standing up and I was totally embarrassed by it. Finally, Aranon
went to the center of the stage and raised his hands.
“I want to thank you all for your loving support of the Seeker,
Christy. I also want to thank you for sharing your inner technology
with us and assisting us in completing this experiment. That inner
technology is your greatest strength. It is not based upon
implementation, or the use of physical tools, but rather it is based
in consciousness, it is based in spirit. It is a gift that comes
directly from your souls and the soul of Archana itself. Again, I
thank you for your willingness to share your very souls with us.”
Aranon turned as another roaring cheer went up, joining
Remmie and I. Then the three of us went down the stairs, exiting
the stage. As we walked down the center isle, the people were
reaching out to us and I touched as many of them as I could. I felt
the need to make as many contacts as I could, savoring the
feeling of being loved, accepted, maybe even adored. It was a
good feeling to know that I was capable of touching so many
lives, as well as allowing so many lives to touch mine. It energized
715
me and strengthened me, so that wherever came next, even the

work I must do on myself, even the things I must face about
myself, would be easier because I would be stronger.
Remmie took us to a teleport and then hugged us both
goodbye again. “Take good care of Piddles,” I said. “Some day
Aranon will bring him a mate and you can have the only dog
breeding business on the planet!”
“I think that would be interesting, but I would rather just enjoy
Piddles for himself for a while. He is such a delightful being. I
thank you for bringing him and leaving him with us. He will be well
loved, I promise.”
Then Remmie nodded to the teleport operator with tears in
her eyes and we were suddenly in my room on Anchor.
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Forty
“So what now?” I asked, feeling as though the wind had just
been taken out of my sails.
“You should probably eat something,” he said. “And then
maybe we can take a look at what we have learned.”
“I’m glad we are going to get back to work. I want to be done
with this so I can go home.”
“What will you do when you go home?” He asked.
“Stay with Remmie and her family.” I said, smiling at him. I
meant it too! I no longer wanted to go back to Earth.
“You will have to go back to Earth before too long or there is
717
a chance we may not be able to send you back,” he said, soberly.

I could feel his concern.
“What are you saying, Aranon?” I asked, feeling a twinge of
fear that I didn’t quite understand.
“The last bioscan that I gave you showed that your
permanent atom is loosing its resonance for your native position
and is adopting the resonance of Anchor,” he responded, soberly.
“This is very unusual. Generally it can take up to three years for
the permanent atom to shift, especially for Earthers.”
“So what will happen if I don’t go back soon? Will it disrupt
the time line or something?”
“Essentially, yes, not to mention the pain it will cause your
family.”
“Well, as you may have noticed, I don’t have a whole lot of
reasons to care how my family feels about it.”
“And then there are all of the things your may have done if
you had resumed your life there; the people you may have
helped, the understanding you may have brought to so many.
After all of this work, you very well might become responsible for
a planetary shift in consciousness that could make the difference
concerning whether Earth survives or not. Are you sure that
choosing to go to Archana instead would be a good choice?”
“Aw, come on,” I said, snidely. “I’m not that important!”
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Kerry Dennis
“Are you sure?”

“Of course I’m sure. I’m just you’re run of the mill ordinary
messed up person. How can what I have learned make any
difference to anyone but me?”
“Look at the difference you have made on Archana. I don’t
think they would classify you as ordinary.”
“Yeah, well, that’s because they haven’t met anyone as
ordinary as me.”
Aranon laughed as he set a plate of food in front of me. He
sat down facing me as I ate. “Okay, so lets look at what will
happen if you don’t return to your native position. Do you
remember the loud noises that you heard when you were
attempting your meditation?”
“Yeah, like a sonic boom.”
“That was the air trying to rush into the place your body had
been. You never quite made it completely out of that space the
first couple of times, but the last time,” he raised his arm and
moved his hand palm up, indicating me, “well, here you are. But
what do you think happened back where you were? Back where
your body had been?”
“Another, bigger sonic boom?”
“Not to mention the implosion of matter that very well might
have the potential to completely destroy the house you were in.
719
The destruction could, very well, be even more than that. I haven’t
plotted it but it could involve as much as a quarter of a mile in
diameter from the location of your departure.”
“Shit!” I said, realizing that if what he said were true, I had no
choice but to go back. “This really sucks!”
“I can see that we are dealing mostly with Kerry here,” he
said, chuckling. “It would appear that you are interfacing pretty
well. Nevertheless, that doesn’t change the facts. You have to go
back.”
“But still, won’t there be an explosion anyway?”
“Implosion, and no, just some noise like before. We will be
replacing you within less than a second from the moment you
were successful in leaving. Actually, in technological terms, it
would be in less than a nanosecond.”
“But what about teleportation? Why doesn’t it cause this
implosion thing?”
“Because true teleportation works with the physics of the
universe, not against it.”
“So I could teleport back here again, if I had one of those
communicators, huh?”
“Or, we could transport you in a number of ways without
danger, yes,” he smiled. “And I have no doubt that eventually you
will be back, one way or another.”
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Kerry Dennis
“So going home doesn’t mean I can never come back?” I

asked, my heart leaping with excitement.
“True. In fact, I am certain that one of the reasons that your
permanent atom is shifting so rapidly is that you were, at one
time, a native of this planet. What this means, essentially, is that
your soul feels it belongs here. So, why don’t we discuss what it is
you will do when you get home?”
“I don’t know. Things were pretty crumby when I left.”
“Tell me how things were when you left.”
“Well, I had a broken pelvis. I got that driving delivery for my
Dad’s shop. I was distracted; my emotions were really messing up
my mind. I thought I had the green light, but I guess I didn’t. I got
slammed on the driver’s side by a big pickup truck that then
proceeded to roll over the top of my car, smashing the roof down
to seat level. I would have never survived it if I had been wearing
my seatbelt. My head would have been crushed. It really made
me stop and think. That’s when I started getting into metaphysics,
trying to find the answers to my internal dilemma. I was seeing a
therapist through the County Hospital and I was taking pills by the
handful; anything to calm myself so that I could function. After the
accident, I started looking for answers that were more healthy,
more lasting than a handful of pills that just numbed me down and
made me feel disconnected from everything including myself.”
721
“So how will it be different when you return?”

“Well, I won’t have a broken hip, which is probably going to
blow my parents minds. I won’t need a handful of pills to help me
cope with my feelings, with life. I’m a little bit wiser, and I really
want to be a better person and contribute something to saving my
planet. I probably won’t blame my parents so much for my
problems. I’m probably healthier. Those things alone are enough
make my life a little different.”
“Yes!” He said, smiling. “So, what will you do? What action
will you take?”
“I’m not sure I know what you mean.” I felt frustrated
because I had no idea what it would be like to go back and still
remember all the things I’d learned. I would be going back into a
semi primitive would. The world would never look the same to me
after this.
“What would you like to do with your life when you return?”
“I think I would like to help people, like you do.”
“Okay, so what will you have to do to be able to do that?”
“I’ll need to come back here and train, I guess.”
“I think it would be best to think about what you are going to
do on Earth. You will have to deal with your issues there first.
This is also part of the healing process. In fact, it’s a very
important part. I will attempt to help you see what those issues
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Kerry Dennis
are, and offer some suggestions as to how to get your needs met,
but you have to make the choices that will get you there. The
reason I am discussing this with you is that you need to develop a
plan before you go back.”
“Okay,” I said, taking my dishes to the recycler. I couldn’t
imagine planning my life. I had never developed a plan for
anything, and those that were developed for me by others, no
matter how well meaning, I resented. “What kind of plan?”
“Well, we will need to begin by discussing what exactly it is
that you want. Not so much what you want to do, but what you
want your life to be like.”
“Well I would like my life to be calmer and more
independent. I would like to be able to get a job and support
myself. I would probably need to go back to school in order to do
what I really want, which is help people.”
“Okay, that’s a good start! So, how do you think you can
become calmer, more independent?”
“That depends on whether the problems I had in the past are
gone or not. Will I still get that pain in my belly when I go back?
Will I still want to be spanked? Will I still have bad dreams and
flashbacks from the terrible times in my life?”
“We can’t fix you, Christy, but we can assist you in learning
how to fix yourself. Some of your problems and internal strife will
723
still be there. You will need to learn to deal with that within your
native environment. I suppose this will be the number one priority
for the next few days. So lets look at what we have learned,
okay?”
“I’ve been waiting for you to get around to that and I think I
have it pretty well figured out.”
“Really? Tell me about it.”
“Well, lets see. I had this really horrible life last time; if I am
willing to believe that; where I died while under the influence of
drugs that allowed me to be psychically connected to my sister. I
failed my sister and my father in that life and then died while
psychically aware, so I carried that awareness or, I guess, the
semi-awareness of my past life into this one.
“Then, in this life it was as if I wasn’t wanted at all. They held
me back for hours and almost killed my mother, who carried a
buried resentment toward me for a while as the result of that. I
was so exhausted by that ordeal that I slept the first year of my
life.
“But my mom couldn’t just let me sleep, she proceeded to
potty train me before I was four months old, because she hated
the idea of washing diapers. She taught me how to drink out of a
cup before I was ten weeks old because she hated washing baby
bottles. This forced me to attempt to control my bodily functions at
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Kerry Dennis
a time when most infants are nurtured and cared for; breast-fed
and allowed to bond with their mothers. My mother didn’t want to
bond with me; she just wanted to control me.
“How did she manage to potty train you at four months old?”
Aranon asked, intrigued.
“She would watch me while I slept and when my face
changed expression, she would take me and hold me over the
toilette. She herself told me this. She was very proud of this and
was not afraid to tell just anyone about it,” I replied angrily, gritting
my teeth.
“Is that how you are connecting with all of this now,” he
asked. “Because she told you?”
“I also have all the memories of every part of myself
available to me now, remember?”
“Fascinating,” he replied, and I thought of Spock on Star
Trek, and smiled.
“Then, as a precocious eighteen month old baby,” I
continued, “I walked my playpen over to the stove where I
accidentally pored a pot of boiling coffee all over the front of me.
Then our neighbor, a nurse and previous Corpsman in the Armed
Services, who had been stationed in England during the blitz,
shared his expertise and saved my skin, and maybe my life.
“On the other hand, maybe my dad saved my life by tickling
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me so that I would shut up and go to sleep, and in doing so

generated dopamine and endorphins that calmed my nervous
system and helped me to heal. That was the good part. But then
he got an attack of propriety and beat the hell out of me for asking
for a tickling in front of visitors, saying that it was bad and wrong
and he would never do it again, thus robbing me of all the feelings
of being loved and nurtured that I was unable to obtain from my
mother. Then, to put a lid on all of it they abandoned me to the
care of my fourteen year old brother and a live-in babysitter of the
same age while they went to California, leaving me to be tied into
bed and humiliated.”
“Okay, you are doing pretty well, I’m impressed!” Said
Aranon. “Tell me, how do you feel about your father in view of
what you learned?”
“Well, in my normal consciousness, I can’t imagine my father
doing the tickling thing, but I can see him giving me a good
tanning for asking for it, especially in the company of friends. I
don’t know, I still feel as though he tried to buy my love instead of
taking time to just be with me. I also think he was mostly
subservient to my mother, which is why he worked so much. It
was the only time he could make his own decisions and feel in
control. I think he loved me, but I think both he and my mom were
totally ignorant when it came to raising a girl.”
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Kerry Dennis
“Do you feel that he was the cause of all your problems?”
“No! Nevertheless, what happened was. He only did what
thought he had to do at the time. Actually, as a small child I
idolized him, but then he got more and more distant, unless he
was angry with me about something and then he was abusive.
After a while, I began to think I really was adopted and that my
parents really didn’t want me at all. Especially after they started
teasing me about the contraceptive my mom was supposedly
wearing when I was conceived.”
“Tell me about that.”
“Not much to tell. They would often tease me, when I was
being a pain by saying; Button, button, who’s got the button? My
dad once said that they expected to find that button, the
contraceptive, in my tiny hand when I was born. I felt unwanted
when they would say those things.”
“How do you feel about your mother?”
“I don’t think she really wanted me either. I think she was
happy with two boys, and I, being a girl, was an extra chore that
she was not sure how to do. She made many of my clothes, she
would dress me up and make me sit for hours getting my hair
curled, burning me and then yelling at me for being so difficult, so
that she could show me off, like a doll or something.”
“How did she burn you?” He asked.
727
“She would curl my hair with this curling iron that was heated
on the stove, and kept touching the hot iron to my ears and other
places on my head and around my face.”
“You never spoke of this before.”
“The memory wasn’t accessible before.”
“All right, continue,” he said, and I saw wonder on his face.
“I don’t think I was real to her for several years after I was
born. I was just a live doll to dress up and show off. I didn’t
comply with her picture of me very well though, because I
preferred overalls and t-shirts. I think I frustrated her. I was not the
sweet, pretty little girl she wanted me to be most of the time. I
could tell that I never quite met her expectations.”
“So, your relationship with her was more distant than you
would have liked?”
“As far as I was concerned, she liked my brother more than
me and I would never measure up.”
“We haven’t discussed your mother much except for your
birth and the time she killed that kitten in front of you. Tell me
another memory you have about something traumatic that
happened between you and your mother.”
“I really made her mad one time when I found a tricycle
parked on a sidewalk in town, about a quarter mile from my house
and road it home. Gads! She made me take that trike back and
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Kerry Dennis
then all the way home she hit me with a stick she made me break
off a tree.”
“Tell me more about that,” he said.
“She was angry with me for stealing. I didn’t know I had
stolen anything. I had just found a trike parked on a sidewalk, and
no one was around, so I road it home. I thought it was okay to do
that. I had no idea what stealing meant. She was livid. She
wouldn’t even allow the man, the father of the boy who owned the
trike, to buy me an ice cream cone for bringing it back. No! She
had to yell at him, saying there was no reward for stealing and
then yell at me all the way home, making me break off a branch
from a tree so she could hit me with it while she continued to yell
at me. Then, when we got home, she made me take off my
clothes and she hit me until I thought she was going to kill me! I
think knowing that she was capable of killing is what scared me
the most!”
“Do you remember your age?”
“Four I think. I know it was after the kitten thing and before I
began school at five.”
“What was her reason for beating you?”
“I just told you, I stole a trike! She was beating me for
stealing.”
“But you went back with her willingly to return the bike, didn’t
729
you?”
“Yes, but in her mind I had stolen it, even though I took it
back on her request.”
“Do you think it would help to review this experience in the
Meathos?”
“No!” I said, emphatically. “Just recounting the memory is
enough for me. I really don’t see any need to go back and revisit
that pain.”
“On the other hand, there may be something that you’ve
missed, something that has escaped your memory and would be
helpful to reconnect with.”
“No!” I replied again just as firmly as before. “I remember the
whole thing. It was scary and painful and I felt lost, abandoned,
and maybe even hated by my mother.”
“Why do you suppose she had such a violent reaction to
your doing something so innocent? Obviously you were unaware
that you were stealing.”
“Maybe it was something from her own past that caused her
to react that way,” I said.
“Maybe,” he said, softly. “Or maybe it was something from a
past life, where the two of you shared the same or maybe even
opposite roles.”
“Then I forgive her and I forgive myself,” I replied.
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Kerry Dennis
“Forgiveness doesn’t come from just saying the words,

Christy. It comes from the capacity to identify with the feelings
and the conditions that generated the abusiveness.”
“Look, Aranon, I don’t need to relive this. I know that she
was overwrought with the thought that I had taken something that
belonged to someone else. Yes, her reaction was all out of
proportion to my actions, in view of my age and my level of
understanding. I really don’t want to go back into that. I really
don’t want to revisit that pain.”
“I am wondering why you are so adamant about this.”
“Well it’s not because I don’t remember it all, because I do.
Not only that, but whatever gaps there may have been, Lynn has
filled them in for me. It was scary, it was painful and it put yet
another wedge between my mother and I. I don’t need to relive it
to get past it.”
“Maybe it would help to revisit the past lives that you and
your mother shared.”
“Why is this such a big deal to you, Aranon?”
“Hmm, I was wondering the same thing.”
“I am tired of the pain, I want to get on with my life!”
“Okay, continue with what you have come to understand
about yourself and your life as the result of what you have
connected with here.”
731
“Thanks.”
“You’re welcome. Continue, please.”
“Okay, so my dad had cut me off, and as a two year old that
was terribly traumatic, because it was my only source of
connectiveness, of love, and of the touching and nurturing that I
so desperately craved. So when I wasn’t making myself feel
better, I was playing doctor with the kids in the neighborhood.”
“Okay, tell me what that means.”
“Playing doctor?”
“Yes.”
“It means taking off all your clothes and letting the other kids
touch you in your private place.”
“Where do you do this?”
“Any place where grownups couldn’t see.”
“Such as?”
“The alley, Mr. Eddy’s back porch, behind the bushes, under
the stairs.”
“Mr. Eddy’s back porch?”
“Yeah.” I thought about that for a moment and then a cold
shock ran through me. “Oh, I see, maybe he saw me doing that
and it wasn’t just sitting on his dead wife’s bed that caused him to
do what he did!”
“I would say that is a good possibility.”
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Kerry Dennis
“Okay, so then Mr. Eddy did his thing with me and I felt like I
was going to hell and nothing could stop it but God. But I was
certain that God didn’t like me because of all the other stuff, like
what I liked my daddy to do, and letting the other kids play with
me when I was naked, and playing with myself. I figured that
because I not only liked it but craved it, that put me in the lake of
fire for sure, and the memory of what it was like to get burned was
still fresh, so that was a threat that I actually understood.
“Then, my mom killed the kitten and my view of death
became as scary as what might happen after death. I thought that
death was when people put you in a hole and then you woke up
and nobody would let you out. So you had to stay there, forever
and ever, trying to not make any noise so that God could find you
and throw you in that lake of fire.
“So then I wanted to know about God. I went to church with
all my friends and most of the time my greatest fears were only
validated. Except with one, the Christian Science Church. That
one was different. That one taught that there were keys that
would allow us to enter heaven, no matter what our life had been
like before. They never talked of fire and brimstone. They rarely
talked about sin. They often talked about God’s love and it’s
healing power. I liked that. I asked my daddy to take me there to
Sunday school even though he and the rest of the family no
733
longer wanted to go. Daddy didn’t like it because they wanted him
to stop smoking and drinking. But he took me and dropped me off
and picked me up.
“Then I started kindergarten. That was really scary for me.
Not so much because I had to be away from home, but because I
had to give up my independence. Up until that time I had been
allowed to roam freely with very little supervision. I had no
timetable, no format to my life. I generally did what I wanted when
I wanted to. No more! Now I had to do what I was told, when I
was told, and I rebelled. I didn’t rebel because the things we did
were uninteresting or not fun, I rebelled because my teacher was
a controller and I didn’t like being made to do things that weren’t
my idea, or according to my own timetable. My kindergarten
teacher, Miss Taylor, was a real bitch! She forced me to paint a
picture and then told me it was no good, tearing it off the easel
and tossing it, all balled up, in the trash can. If I made a mistake
while making a letter during alphabet class, she would yell at me!
If I didn’t do exactly what she said, any time, she would yell at me
and punish me by making me sit in the corner.
“Finally, I’d had enough. I was very angry one day. I don’t
know about what, but I got up on the worktable and started
kicking everything on the floor. It was mostly drawings and
puzzles. The teacher had left the room for a moment when I did
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Kerry Dennis
this. I don’t know why, but I was really mad. Anyway, after that
she started to lock me in the milk room.
“The milk room was a room where the cooler for the little
bottles of milk, served to us each day at snack time, were kept. It
was a little larger than a closet, and with the cooler in there, it had
just enough space to get to the cooler. The door had a grating in
it, to vent the heat from the coolers compressor. It was dark in
there and the only light came through that grating. I could see the
floor of the classroom just outside the door, but nothing else. I
could hear the teacher though, and learned about the alphabet
that way. I also decided to teach myself to read. I realized that a
lot of information was out there, information about God and
Heaven and getting to heaven, so I made myself learn to read. I
guess the Sensarians are right. If there is an incentive to learn
something, the child will do whatever they need to do to learn it.
The first book I read was Science & Health: With Keys to the
Scriptures, by Mary Baker Eddy. I figured she must be related to
my Mr. Eddy, so she should know what would help me out of my
mess.
Aranon held up his hand to stop my dissertation. “You know,
I find it very interesting that your remember these things with such
minute detail, and that you are you also aware of how it is you are
doing this.”
735
“Right,” I said, almost smugly. “I now have all the memories

of Sissy, Lynn and the others to fill in the gaps.”
“I’m really impressed by the seamlessness of your account. I
would like to take this opportunity to tell you all how proud I am of
you, how impressed I am at your ability to share your memories
and your feelings.”
“Thanks,” I said. “It’s kind’a exciting, don’t you think?
“Yes, I do,” he replied, smiling. “Please, continue.”
“Then my family moved to another house, and I to another
school. Nothing changed. I was still angry about having to go to
school and had yet another teacher that was cruel and controlling.
I failed her class and was placed back a half a grade. Then we
moved again and I was in Phoenix, Arizona where they didn’t
have half grades and I was placed in with my grade level. I didn’t
do my homework, I didn’t do my class work and the new teacher
tried to fail me too, but after a test, I was judged to be beyond my
grade level, so she couldn’t.
“Then we moved again and I was in another new school and
third grade. I masturbated openly in class and no one said
anything. I was provocative in my behavior. Then, the two
teenaged boys molested me. I withdrew, I wanted to be a boy, but
that was not possible in a female body, so I posed as a boy. Then
we moved again, I started fifth grade in yet another school and
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Kerry Dennis
had even more difficulty fitting in, probably because I had trouble
making friends because we had moved so much. Then my
parents sent me to the parochial school for sixth grade and I got
all that Bible training.
“Then there was the thing with the ball, which was related to
the thing with the ball I lost at Mr. Eddy’s, and the ball I lost when I
was four or five at the Boy Scout Jamboree, which I didn’t really
go into, but you know when that was. Then my teacher refused to
spank me and I panicked, thinking I was done for, that I would
spend my eternity in hell, especially after what my mother told me
about how adultery was what I had committed with the teenaged
boys when I was eight.
“Then I got this fantasy going that I would remember all the
things that had happened to make me so scared, if someone who
really cared about me would just spank me. That fantasy went on
for years until I finally ran into someone who would spank me and
yet it didn’t stop the fantasy at all and didn’t make me remember.”
“Whoa, just a minute there!” Aranon broke into my monolog,
his face filled with interest. “You never told me that you had gotten
what you wanted. Tell me about that.”
“Oh, all right,” I said, feeling as though this was going to
become another ordeal. “I went to an MYF work camp when I was
fifteen. That’s Methodist Youth Fellowship. The work camp was
737
organized to help a small church in Northern Arizona. Our job was

to clean up the church grounds and to clean and beautify the
church. The camp lasted for two days. We arrived on Friday
evening and stayed until Sunday afternoon. During this time I had
an episode. A youth minister from another church in Phoenix
recognized what I wanted and gave it to me, for about three
hours.”
“You mean he kept spanking you for three hours?”
“Not continuously, but yes.”
“Tell me what happened during this experience.”
I really didn’t want to get into this. It was an experience that I
was not very proud of. I caused it, and I played along, but nothing
really good ever came from it.
“This minister,” I reluctantly began, “Reverend Reiker,
caught me with a book of matches in my hand, walking off without
telling anyone where I was going. Actually, I was not talking at all.
He demanded to know what I was doing out at night, after lights
out, with a book of matches. I wouldn’t talk to him so he took me
into the office and spanked me; not just once but over and over
until I started babbling in way that he thought was evidence of
speaking in tongues. Actually, I was reciting a hymn, the words of
which I had reversed. I was just saying words backwards, but to
him it was speaking in tongues. Then he took me into the prayer
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Kerry Dennis
room to pray with me. I pretended to have this spiritual

awakening, and asked him to spank me again, telling him I didn’t
remember the first spanking. He did. Still nothing. No memories,
no nothing.
“But I liked it. I didn’t really realize that until now. I got him to
spank me at least three more times, and got this sense of
euphoria from it, and a huge release. That sense of euphoria that
I got from the spankings drove me to attempt to obtain even more
spankings, but once Reverend Reiker went back to Ohio, where
his home was, I never got what I wanted again. I tried to get it
from the Doctor that molested me, but he figured I really wanted
sex, so that was what he gave me. Now, I can see why, but then I
was really confused by that.”
“It is interesting that even though you remembered nothing
as the result of this painful process, that you still wanted to go
through it again.” Observed Aranon. “I know, you said you
experienced a sense of euphoria from these experiences, and yet
you continued to cling to your fantasy that it would make you
remember. I am not sure I understand this. Can you explain it to
me?”
“Okay, well, back then, I just wanted to be spanked because
it provided a release I think. I didn’t know it was sexual. Now that I
know, what happened makes more sense to me. Obviously, that
739
is why the doctor decided to have sex with me. Again, I can see
how I drew that abuse. I was crazy, what can I say?”
“So, wanting to be spanked really wasn’t driven by a need to
remember, but rather a need for release, a need to be punished,
to feel pain?”
“Okay, yeah, that’s right. I used to hurt myself to get the pain
too. I would cut myself or intentionally hurt myself, hit my head
against a wall, try to break an arm or leg, just to feel the pain. I
remember some of the reasons that I wanted to feel pain. I
wanted to get the bad out. I needed attention. I wanted to feel
loved. I still thought that if it were enough I would remember what
happened that made me want this. But you’re right, it was mostly
to feel pain, to get the bad out and to feel love.” I felt hot all over
like I had been caught in a lie. I felt that he was uncovering a
secret that made me feel dirty. “I guess you think I am liar now,
huh?” I said, feeling like now I deserved his mistrust.
“No, but I think you have been avoiding the truth about this
need of yours. I think you needed to give it a legitimate purpose in
order to make it sound reasonable and logical. I think you have
known for a while that it was not the key to your memories, but
that it was a release, a release that not only addressed your need
to be punished, but also a need to acquire a sexual release. In
view of other things that have happened here, on Anchor, I now
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Kerry Dennis
recognize that this activity is addictive, that it also stimulates the

release of dopamine, endorphins and other chemicals within your
brain. That’s why the more you got, the more you wanted.”
“Okay,” I replied, not really wanting to look at it, but
recognizing that what he said was true. I didn’t really understand
addiction back then, but I did know that the more I got the more I
wanted. I felt terribly ashamed. “I’m sorry,” I said, hoping to take
the edge off my own shame.
“Can you see how it all got started?” He asked, gently, not
acknowledging my apology.
“Of course I can. The stuff with my dad, Mr. Eddy, my mom
accusing me of wanting what those boys did to me, my fear of
God’s punishment and wanting to beat Him to it. Yes, I can see
it.”
“And you can see it’s sexual basis?”
“I can now. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.”
“You didn’t mean to do what?”
“I didn’t mean for it to be sexual. That’s not what I wanted!”
“I agree that you didn’t want sexual penetration, but I think
you wanted a sexual release, whether you were able to identify it
as that or not.”
“No!” I said, feeing deeply unsettled by his statements. “A
sexual release is nice, not painful. I know that’s not what I
741
wanted.”
“Okay, what did your father do when he realized his actions
were not appropriate?”
“He beat me up.”
“And what did Mr. Eddy do to teach you the evils of your
body, after giving you a little sexual pleasure?”
“He beat me and then raped me.” I said, suddenly seeing
what he was getting at.
“You couldn’t get your sexual pleasure through normal
channels, because those had been closed to you, with beatings,
with terror and pain. So you translated that into meaning that
sexual pleasure can only be acquired through terror and pain.
Can you see that now? Can you see that early on you connected
pain with love, and then with sexual release?”
The realization hit me like a ton of bricks and I realized that I
had been setting myself up for all of my sexual abuses, all my life.
I felt terrible shame and self-loathing. I began to hyperventilate,
and the pain in my stomach returned with a vengeance. Aranon
reached out for me, but it was too late. Before he could grab me I
was on the floor, convulsing. That was another way I dealt with
feelings that were just too overwhelming to face. These
convulsions probably stimulated an endorphin release as well.
742
Forty-One
I awoke once again on my bed with Aranon sitting beside

me. I opened my eyes and he was there, a concerned smile on
his face.
“Anthon is right,” he said. “You have got to find a better way
of dealing with this buildup. I think it would help if we got to the
bottom of it.”
“I have,” I said, “and I don’t like it.”
“Tell me what you have gotten to the bottom of?”
“What it’s all about. I feel incredible shame, because my
whole life, my whole life’s quest has been a lie, and I knew it was
743
a lie all along.”

“It wasn’t a lie, it was a desire, a fantasy. The truth about it is
that you honestly desired to know what happened to you. The
fantasy was a means through which you envisioned yourself
attaining that goal. The fantasy pointed you in the right direction.
Not a lie, but rather a symbol of your hearts desire.”
“But it was really all about sex!” I said loudly, feeling the
terrible shame welling up inside me, tears clouding my vision.
“Yes,” he said, gently. “It was, and it is all about sex. It’s all
about your history of sexual abuse and how that has affected your
thinking, your physical and emotional connection with love and
with your sense of personal value. It is also about the sensation
generated by the release of dopamine, endorphins and other
neural peptides, and how that makes you feel. But above all, it’s
about your intense desire to connect with love, and to experience
the validation you so desperately need, and your fear that
because of what you have done, and what you have allowed
others to do to you in your search for this love and validation, you
have become somehow damned. It’s kind of a hell if you do, hell if
you don’t type situation. It’s a reaction formation of the first order,
and you have given it dominion over your life.”
“So what do I do? How do I get past it?” I was unable to
control the tears anymore and they spilled from my eyes and
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Kerry Dennis
down my cheeks.
“You come to understand it, to start with.”
“Help me,” I cried. “I can’t live like this anymore!”
“Let me connect with your mind and body. Let me feel what
you are feeling so that I can help you to understand it. Let me use
my talents to help you,” he asked, in a gentle but pleading voice.
I thought about it. I even gave it some serious consideration.
It would be so nice, and so easy to have all of this magically taken
from me. But something kept stopping me. Something kept telling
me, deep down inside, that I had to work through this on my own.
It was okay to have a little support, but I had to do this myself.
“No, I have to do this myself. I don’t know why, but I know
that I have to.”
“I would insist on nothing less. All I am asking is that you let
me help you. Let me make it less painful, less psycho-physically
disturbing.”
“No!” I cried, again. “The pain is the key! I know the pain is
the key!”
“Christy, you don’t need to feel all of this pain to attain what
you are looking for. Let’s try a process, okay?”
“A process?”
“Remember? He asked, hopefully. “I hold you across my lap
and clap my hands?”
745
“How can that help?” I asked.

“It will allow you to generate as much pain as you need for a
constructive purpose. It may even assist you in connecting with
the source of the pain within you.”
I decided that it couldn’t hurt and I really wanted to be held,
even if it was mostly sexual. In fact, that would probably increase
the pain of it, and I really needed pain right now because I was
feeling lost, alone and adrift.
“Okay,” I said, feeling the anticipation building. This was
nuts! I was definitely addicted to pain!
He helped me to sit up and then positioned the chair so that
he could draw me over his lap. When he did, I felt an
unimaginable thrill as the fear built, and I realized that I was also
addicted to the fear. It super-sensitized me and opened the door
to allow the pain to flow. When he drew me across his lap, I
gasped with anticipation and fear. With the first loud clap of his
hands, I felt myself dissociate into my fear, and open to the pain.
The second clap shattered my connection with the reality of the
situation and pain ripped through me like a lightening bolt! The
third clap had me screaming, and when he placed his hands on
me, one at the base of my spine and one on the top of my head,
the charge, the energy of that pain was the most intense I have
ever felt! I fought and struggled to get out of his grasp, but there
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Kerry Dennis
seemed to be a magnetic connection, between my body and his

hands, that kept me there, writhing, screaming, crying, and
burning with pain from the inside out. What was it about me that
was so bad that I had to do this to myself?
Then, suddenly, I was back in the bathroom with my mother.
I was naked. She was beating me with the switch I had broken
from the tree at her request.
“Gods laws were put there for a reason!” She said, her
anger making her voice break. “If you break God’s laws you will
go to Hell! Thou shalt not steal! Tell me you will never do that
again! Tell me!”
“I won’t ever, ever do it again, mommy!” I cried.
“Sometimes you make me so mad I could kill you!” She
yelled.
“Don’t kill me mommy! Please don’t kill me!” I rolled into a
ball and gritted my teeth, trying to absorb the pain. “Please,
mommy. I love you mommy!”
“That’s why I am doing this. I am doing this because I love
you and I don’t want you to go to Hell! I’m doing this because I
love you!”
“I love you mommy! Please don’t kill me mommy! I won’t do
it again, mommy!” I screamed as she continued to hit me, over
and over with the switch, making me burn with pain all over my
747
naked body. This must be love, I told myself. Mommy said it is.
Then I was transported back to my three-year-old body, and
Mr. Eddy was forcing himself into me saying; “I am doing this
because I love you and want to save you from going to Hell!” Pain
ripped through my body as he raped me. This is love, this pain
and fear is Love.
Then I was transported to my baby body, wracked with the
pain of severe burns, feeling my daddy’s gentle touch, and
knowing that everything was going to be okay. He loved me. He is
making me feel good. This is love, pain and pleasure.
Then I was transported forward to the point where I was
laying across Reverend Reiker’s lap. He was causing me intense
pain because he loved me, because he cared about me. Pain is
love. Pain is the fulfillment of my being. Then I experienced an
enormous release that shuddered through my entire body. Finally,
my body relaxed and Aranon waited for a moment and then
placed me back on the bed.
“Talk to me Christy.” He said. “Tell me what you
experienced.”
“I experienced love,” I said, sobbing with the realization that
what he said was true. Realizing that I truly had experienced love
as the result of all of that terrible pain. “Help me,” I pleaded. “I
don’t think I can experience love without pain.”
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Kerry Dennis
“Yes, you can, but it may take a little time,” he replied,

gently. “All that is required is the willingness to see things
differently.”
“I’m willing,” I said, tearfully. “Help me Aranon. Please.”
“I have no greater desire at this time, Christy. But you are
going to have to trust me. Do you think you can trust me,
Christy?”
“Okay,” I replied. “I’ll trust you, but I don’t think you can help
me with this. I don’t think I will ever get free of it.”
“I can, and you will,” he said. “Tell me what you are feeling
right now.”
“Shame!”
“What is the shame about?”
“That my whole life has been a lie!”
“We’ve been here already, Christy. It hasn’t been a lie.” He
smiled and patted my arm. “What you are doing is trying to meet a
need that is so overwhelming that you are willing to do whatever it
takes to get it met. Is it an addiction? Yes. Can you beat it? Yes.
Are you willing to try, Christy?”
“Yes.”
“Tell me what you experienced during the process.”
“My mom, beating me in the bathroom, telling me that I had
broken God’s law; thou shalt not steal. Beating me because she
749
loved me and wanted to save me from Hell. I felt that pain as love.
My mother’s love. Then I went to Mr. Eddy, and heard him telling
me that he was doing this because he loved me and wanted to
save me from Hell. And I thought, this is love. Pain and fear. Then
I went back to my dad, and the time I was burned, and he was
soothing me, he was relaxing me, he was taking away my pain
with his touch and I thought, pain brings love, my father’s love.
Then I was taken to the experience of Reverend Reiker spanking
me and I thought; pain is love. Pain is the fulfillment of my being.
That is when I realized that there is no way out. That this is such a
part of my being that I will never be free of it.”
“That depends,” he said, nodding his head knowingly.
“On what?” I said.
“On whether you want to be free of it. If you don’t, then we
are wasting our time and you may as well be sent home. If you
do, then there is a good prognosis for recovery. You did a very
good job at describing what you felt during that process. I think
you see your challenges fairly accurately. It’s important for you to
remember that just because there is a mountain between you and
your goal that doesn’t mean you cannot attain your goal. It does
mean that reaching your goal can be a long, arduous and
sometimes dangerous prospect, especially if you choose to go
over the mountain to reach your goal. Nevertheless, in choosing
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Kerry Dennis
to go over the mountain will get to your goal in a third of the time,
and you will have learned new survival techniques in the process.
Of course, Christy, it will always be your choice.”
“I guess I will need some climbing gear.” I looked at him
deadpan, and he wasn’t sure what to make of my statement.
Finally, he smiled and patted my arm. “That may very well be
what you need,” he said. I could see the wheels turning. “Rest a
while, I need to meet with Dorn. I think you may have come up
with a very wonderful idea.”
“What? Climbing a mountain for real?”
“Exactly. What better way to confront your challenges? Of
course, you will be meeting individuals along the way who will
also challenge you, on other levels, a sort of Vision Quest. Do you
know what a Vision Quest is?”
“No,” I said, shaking my head. I didn’t have a clue.
“A Vision Quest is a Ritual Journey or a Rite Of Passage. It
is something that you must do alone, although you may meet
others along the way. It is a wilderness walk that allows you to be
alone with yourself and discover what it is that you truly want for
your life. Along this walk you will be challenged and tested,
guided and nurtured. By the time you reach the end of your walk,
you will have faced your demons and chosen your path. How do
you feel about that?”
751
“Alone? You won’t be with me?” This shocked me. I had

sort’a grown attached to Aranon’s presence.
“I will be nearby, and you will see me at least once a day.”
He got up and started for the door. “Try to rest. I’ll be back soon.”
He smiled and then punched in the door code and left.
I didn’t have to try to rest; I fell asleep. I dreamed about
Meestra. She came to me and asked me what I wanted more than
anything else in life. My first response was that I just wanted to be
well. Then she asked me to define what being well was like. I had
to really give that some thought. Had I ever known a person who
was really well? What would well look like? Clear thinking might
be one aspect of it. Being capable of loving and being loved
without pain or guilt, shame or manipulation. Being able to be
considerate of and tolerant of others, honoring their individuality,
and having patience with their unique way of seeing and doing
things. Being insightful and intuitive and allowing only love and
compassion to guide my way. At this Meestra smiled, kissed me
on the forehead and left.
I awoke when the door hissed open and Aranon entered,
smiling. My eyes fluttered open as he entered.
“All right,” he said, still smiling. “It’s all set. As soon as you
have completed the orientation, you will be going on a Vision
Quest!”
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Kerry Dennis
“Okay,” I replied, sleepily.

“The orientation will last as long as it takes for you to
understand the process and come up with the parameters of your
personal quest. You will be building this quest yourself. You will
decide what you want to learn and which demons you will be
confronting.”
“Okay,” I replied, sitting up and rubbing the sleep from my
eyes. “Meestra came to me in my dream. She wanted me to tell
her what I wanted most in my life.”
“Good! What did you tell her?”
“I told her I wanted to be well. Then she wanted me to tell
her what that would be like.”
“And what did you tell her it would be like?” He asked,
interested.
I told him of what I envisioned as being well. “Good, good!
That will fit nicely into what I have planned for you.”
“And what might that be?” I asked, feeling as though I was
not going to get a real answer.
“All right, well first of all you are going to need a map to
follow, as you will taking a predefined path. One that is difficult,
but not too difficult. Along the way, you will be stopping at specific
points, to commune with guides or sages who will assist you in
finding answers to your questions and assisting you in fighting
753
your demons. But, before you can go, you will need to define the
demons that you will be confronting.”
“So, what you need from me are the demons I need to
fight?”
“Yes.”
“Okay. Pain, fear, shame and death.”
“Why death?”
“Because my fear of death has driven me all my life. Is it a
nothingness where I am aware but can see, hear and touch no
one? Or is it eternal damnation to a lake of fire? Or, is it the
transition from one life to another? I just don’t know, and that is
what terrifies me more than anything else.”
“Yes, that’s good. I think you are going to be very good at
this.” He smiled again. “Now, I need to know your most burning
question.”
“That’s easy. Who am I and why am I here? Is there a
predefined plan for my life? Can I ever know what that is with any
assurance?”
“Good! Okay, and what is your goal?”
“To be really well, what else is there?”
“Great! So now you must prepare for the ordeal.”
“Ordeal?”
“In order for it to be a vision quest it must be an ordeal. Not
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beyond your capacity to overcome, but difficult enough for you to

have to struggle to get through it. To begin with, you will have to
climb the mountain. The area is in what you might call the wild.
There will be wild animals and insects. You will have to know
about each of them and how to act and react when you come
upon them, or when they come upon you.”
“Maybe this is not the best idea,” I said, feeling frightened by
the idea that I would be left alone to deal with the beasts and
other denizens of this wild place. “I don’t want to do this if there is
a chance I could be killed by a wild animal or by the bite of some
unknown insect.”
“That is exactly why you must do this. In order for this to be a
true vision quest, you must be confronted with hazards, with the
possibility of personal injury, even death. You must fight for your
life and you must confront the possibility of death. Still, you will be
armed with knowledge about those hazards, and how to either
confront them or avoid them. You will also be guided, as I have
said, by guides or sages. For a good portion of the time you will
be alone and required to make your own decisions, but not
without the knowledge as to how to confront them.”
“Okay, so I have to be able to remember what these guides
and sages tell me. I have to remember what you tell me to watch
out for. What if I can’t?”
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“Christy, the danger must be real or you will not attain your
goal. You are going to need to fight for your life, in order complete
your quest. It will never be beyond your capacity to accomplish.
You will have help, if you are willing to open to it. If, at any time it
appears that you are too overwhelmed to continue, you will be
rescued. Still, that rescue will not come until it has been proven
that you are unable to continue. I won’t allow you to die, but I will
allow you to confront death. Until you do this, or something like it,
you will probably be unable to shift your consciousness out of
your pain and fear and away from self-defeating, self-destructive
behaviors. Nevertheless, it is your choice. Are you willing to
attempt this?”
“So it’s not like my life will really be in danger?” I asked,
trying to imagine myself climbing a mountain, populated with wild
denizens, never having done anything more dangerous than
walking the streets of Phoenix at night. I suppose that was a lot
more dangerous than most of the things I have done. A lot of the
things I had done in my life had put me in danger and I had
survived. Surely, this couldn’t be any worse.
“Yes and no,” he replied. “We will always be near, and we
will attempt to keep you safe. Nevertheless, we will also attempt
to place your safety in your command, and thus may not be able
to save you if you refuse to follow the directions you are given.
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This is an important component in this process. You must be

willing to follow directions and you must learn to depend on
yourself for your own survival. Again, it is your decision.”
I gave it some thought. I knew they wouldn’t allow me to die
as the result of some stupid mistake. I also knew it was something
that I needed to do, for myself, for my future. It was scary, and yet
the idea was intriguing, compelling. I decided to give it a try.
“Okay,” I said, part of me feeling I was signing my death
warrant, but part of me was excited by the challenge.
“Wonderful!” Said Aranon. “So lets begin with the
orientation!” His smile told it all. He was excited for me, and yet I
could see he was afraid for me too.
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Forty-Two
“All right,” said Aranon, handing me a paper-like booklet.

“This is your handbook. Keep it safe and always available for it
contains everything you will need to know about the area and it’s
wildlife. It also contains photos of plants that you can use for food
and medicine. Look through it and then we will begin to go
through it a page at a time.”
I looked through the booklet containing a map, written pages
of information, photos of plants and animals, and recipes for
preparing wild foods and medicines. It also contained prayers,
visualizations, affirmations and meditations. The photos were not
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Kerry Dennis
like the ones on Earth. These were so real you could almost
reach out and touch the subjects of them. They were three-
dimensional, like a Three-D movie, only without the need for
special glasses. I guess you could call them holograms.
“Okay”, I acknowledged, as I finished looking through the
book.
“Good,” he stated, in a business like tone. “I don’t expect you
to remember all of this, but I hope that when you are in need of
something, you will instinctively know what part of the book to
open to. The beginning of the book,” he said opening his copy “is
devoted to the wildlife that you need to know about.”
I opened my book and looked at the first photo. It was an
animal I had never seen before and yet it looked familiar.
“The first animal in the book is the Codger. It was named by
Earthers, and resembles a Badger, but it’s more aggressive and
not an animal you want to tangle with. You give it a wide berth
and it will leave you alone. Nevertheless, it will also lead you to
water and to edible food so you will need to learn to track it.
Below its photo are photos of its spore, or tracking signs. The first
photo is of its tracks, which as you can see are rather unique.
Three toes and a wide pad; remember the configuration. The
second photo is of the animal itself. It is usually brown with gray
and white markings. Commit that photo to memory, for if you get
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this good a look at it, you are much too close. If you come upon
this animal, stand perfectly still. It is blind to you unless you are in
motion. It can smell your scent, but because your scent is not part
of its list of food sources, it will pay little attention to you unless
you present a threat. You can only do that by moving. Make sure
that it is completely out of visual and auditory range before you
move.”
“Okay,” I said, feeling uncomfortable. “Will it attack me while
I sleep?”
“No, it only attacks that which is in motion. “It will probably
avoid you while you sleep or if you are still, for it will then see you
as its predator.”
“And it’s predator? Do I need to be afraid of that as well?”
“It has several, but only one you need to be concerned
about. The Kretchen. That is a cat. It looks like a cross between a
Himalayan Snow Cat and a Mountain Lion. Next page.”
“Oh,” I said, “what a beautiful cat!” It was long and sleek,
with brownish tan fur covered with dark spots, short rounded ears
with white tufts of fur protruding from them, but a very cat like
face, including long translucent whiskers. It had an unusually long
tail with dark bands that began at his rump and went all the way to
the tip. He was a very unusual and very pretty cat as far as I was
concerned.
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Kerry Dennis
“Don’t let the picture fool you. It is fast and it is deadly. It

generally weighs about one hundred and fifty pounds. It’s bigger
than it looks there.”
“So, what do I do to avoid this kitty cat?”
“You can’t avoid it. You will probably encounter one several
times during your journey. Again, standing still is the best policy. If
it likes your scent, it may mark you and then it may follow you.
Don’t let this disturb you. If it follows you, it will protect you. You
are not a natural enemy and you are not it’s natural pray. If it
follows you, it is drawn to you, and if it is drawn to you, it will
protect you and guard you while you sleep. “
“So, can I eventually get it to trust me enough to touch it?”
“It is a very territorial animal, and protects it’s own scent. If it
decides to rub against you, which is another way that cats mark
their territory and mates, then it will allow you to touch it. Do not
try to touch it if it has not marked you as its own. One swipe from
its claws can kill! It will not accept your touch until it has marked
you first. Remember these words.”
“Okay, so don’t touch till you get touched.”
“Remember that,” he said, giving me a concerned look.
“Okay.” I looked at the next page. On that page was a photo
of an ugly and scary insect. Beneath it was a graphic measure.
My god! It was as big as a Chihuahua! “Shit!” I said, feeling really
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scared. “What kind of havoc can I expect from this critter?”

“Ah, yes, the Molshic. Again, you are not its natural predator,
nor do you express any of the signs that it would recognize as
prey. Still, if cornered or threatened it will attack and its bite can
cause an infection that could be deadly if not treated in time. I
have to tell you that is a very narrow window of time.”
“Okay, so I avoid that one,” I stated, matter-of-factly. Aranon
smiled at me warmly.
The next page held the picture of a spider. Not just any
spider but a spider that was as big as a German Shepard.
“Oh my gosh!” I cried, terrified by the sight of it.
“Again, the Nolophan will have no interest in you unless you
corner it or attack it. When in doubt, hold still until the creature is
gone. Nevertheless, the Nolophan is not adverse to new things
and may decide to wrap you up for a future taste test. If you have
a Kretchen with you, you will not have to worry about the
Nolophan. If not, then the Nolophan never stray far from their
nest, so if you continue on for a measure, you will probably leave
it and it’s cousins behind.”
“It’s the probably in that sentence that has me worried. Like
what if the direction I am going is right toward it’s nest?” I frowned
at him, fearful of meeting up with this beast and becoming terror
stricken and out of control. “Is there anything else I should know?”
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Kerry Dennis
“It’s in the book here, but yes. If you come across this herb
bush, pick the herbs and make a necklace or belt from them. If
the Nolophan gets close enough to experience your vibration, it
will back off. The herbs will repel it.” He pointed to a picture of
what was, I guess, an herb bush on the next page.
“Okay, and what if I can’t find a bush like that?”
“Pray that the Nolophan doesn’t like your scent, and that the
first Kretchen you meet does.”
“Can’t I just chase it away with a stick or something?”
Aranon laughed. “Not unless you want to peek its curiosity.”
“Can I kill it?”
“Not unless you want the whole nest investigating you.”
“What makes you think I am going to get through this alive?”
I asked, feeling as though I might not.
“Because you are special.”
“Gee, thanks, but will that keep me safe?”
“Yes,” he responded, his face showing his faith in me. “I do
or I wouldn’t be considering this as an option.”
“Okay,” I said not sure whether I was willing to believe him or
not just yet.
The next few pages dealt with herbs and other plants that
could be used as food, or that contained large amounts of fluid.
There were also pages about herbs that could be used to heal a
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cut or to cure physical ailments, such as headaches and nausea

and a page on remedies for infections and insect bites. The last
few pages had to do with the sages, seers and guides I may
meet. Most of them were like those little guys that believe I am
related to them, but some were of different races, even a few of
human looking ones.
“Now you may or may not meet these fellows. That’s up to
them. I am sure you will meet two or three of them, but I cannot
say which ones. I can tell you that they will be there to assist you
on your journey. They may provide food and shelter. They will
definitely leave you with a gift of some kind. It may be a physical
gift, or a metaphysical one.”
“How long is this supposed to last?”
“Until you reach your goal, or until you let us know that you
are unwilling or unable to continue. It should, under a worse case
scenario, take three to four days. Physically, you will be crossing
a real mountain. Your goal is to get to the Segundo Dome on the
other side of the mountain. When you get there you will have a
welcoming party.” He gave me that Tom Selleck eyebrow thing
again, and again I had to laugh.
“So I am going to climb this mountain and come down the
other side?”
“Exactly.” He nodded, grinning.
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Kerry Dennis
“Alone?”
“Not exactly. Like I said, you will have the guides and sages,
and I will see you at least once a day. But for the most part, we
will be leaving you to yourself.”
“Why?”
“So that you can work through your inner conflicts and so
you can confront your own demons.”
“How?”
“That will be part of the training.”
“What training?”
“You didn’t think we were going to send you out alone to
climb a mountain without training, did you?”
I stared into his smiling eyes, and finally took a breath and
then let it out with a sigh. “Okay, so you are going to train me in
mountain climbing?”
“Have you ever climbed a mountain?”
“A few times. Living in Phoenix, with mountains all around;
most kids who grow up there, climb one mountain at least once. Is
this mountain like Everest or something?”
“Ah, no not like Everest.”
“Is it rocky? Are there trees? Does it snow year round? What
am I facing here?”
“It is rocky in places, and in other areas there are trees.
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There is no snow, as this mountain has a large base, and is not

high enough in altitude to have snow at its peak year round.
Because it is generally like mid summer here, I don’t think you will
have to worry about snow. Nevertheless, it is a very rugged area,
and on your way up, you will experience a steady incline, but you
will not be required to scale cliffs. There is already a pathway that
leads from Top Side Dome to Segundo Dome, right over the
mountain. It is probably a little overgrown, because it hasn’t been
used in quite a while, but it is passable, and there are few major
hazards.”
“Maybe I need to know about these few major hazards.”
“Okay, the animals I have been discussing with you could be
considered a hazard, possibly major. But if you follow the safety
procedures that I am going to be teaching you, you shouldn’t have
to worry. Then there is the cave from which you will have to
retrieve the symbol of your personal power. You will have to be
careful and creative to accomplish that as well.”
“What is this symbol of my personal power?”
“That’s up to you. You will design it, we will create it and then
it will be placed in the cave for you to retrieve.”
I sat back in my chair and thought about what he was
saying. I had read about something like this once. I think it was
some sort of Native American ritual. Maybe this could be fun!
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Kerry Dennis
Davy had always wanted to be a pioneer and blaze a trail in the

wilderness. I would need Kerry too, as my protector. I’ll bet Lynn
would be pretty scared, but maybe she would surprise me. Baby
Sissy would probably need to hang back on this one. But the
majority of us could all use our talents and insights and do this
thing together. Maybe that was one of the things that Aranon was
counting on.
“So when do we start the training?” I asked, feeling better
about this now.
“We already have!” He grinned again and reached across
the table and patted my hand. “Now, close the book and tell me
what a Nolophan is.”
“It’s a huge scary spider. I don’t know, Aranon. If I saw that
thing coming at me, I just don’t know what I would do! I’m not sure
I could keep quiet. I’m not sure Sissy or Lynn could keep quiet
either, you know?”
“Well, maybe there is a way to assist you with that. I’m sure
the Meathos can generate an interactive experience that will give
you the opportunity to confront the Nolophan on a virtual level,
without any real danger.”
“Okay,” I said, not sure I would be able to confront this nasty
spider, even on a virtual level.
“What is a Codger?”
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“It’s like a badger but more aggressive, and instead of fur, it

has scaly things on it.”
“How do you avoid the danger of this beast?”
“Stand still. I am not its natural enemy and I am not its
natural prey, so if I stay still it will go away. What if it doesn’t?”
“It will, but you may have to remain still for quite some time,
if it is interested in other scents in your area.”
“Like how long?”
“That depends. It shouldn’t last for more than an hour.”
“An hour! Jeeze, Aranon. Do you know how long an hour
can be when you have to remain totally still?”
“I guess you will need to practice, huh? I’m sure the Meathos
can help you there too.” He smiled sweetly and raised an
eyebrow. “Are you ready to go outside and see if you can find the
herbs in the book?”
“Sure, that would be great! I was spoiled at Remmie’s, being
able to go for walks and stuff. I miss that.”
“Okay, lets go outside then. Take your book. You can also
do some practicing with pitching your tent.”
“I get to have a tent?”
“Remember, you have to carry it. You will also have to train
walking with a backpack. It is going to weigh about five pounds.”
“I think I can handle that,” I said confidently.
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Kerry Dennis
“We’ll see,” he winked and got up, indicating for me to come

with him.
We went into the hallway and began walking, Aranon holding
my hand to keep me from being carried away by the throng
rushing through it. We went to the rotunda and then through the
gate to Top Side. From there we went outside the dome. Aranon
stopped at the open airlock and spoke to someone waiting there
for him. The young man handed him a backpack. He handed it to
me and I put it on.
“How does that feel?” He asked. “Are the straps tight
enough?”
I shrugged my shoulders and tugged on the straps to get it a
little tighter. Finally, I had it so that it was riding at just the right
level to distribute the weight the most evenly on my back and
shoulders.
“I think it’s just right now,” I said.
He smiled and led me away from the dome and toward the
forest, about a hundred yards from the dome. “Open your book
and see if you can find the herbs that are pictured there,”
instructed Aranon.
I did as he instructed and within a few minutes I had found
each of them. Aranon seemed to beam with pride. “You have a
knack for this, I see.” He said, patting me on the back. “Lets walk
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a while longer, I want to see how well you tolerate the pack over a
period of time.”
“Are there any Kretchens around here?” I asked.
“Ah, you have a good memory! Describe the Kretchen.”
“It’s a cat, and if it likes you it will protect you, but you can’t
touch it till it marks you.”
“And you’d best stand still if it enters your area, for it can
attack without warning if you make any moves that it considers
aggressive.”
“Yeah, I remember that. It sure is a pretty cat though,” I said,
grinning.
“It’s possible we might see one, but this close to the dome,
they are very wary, so they generally give people a wide berth.”
“Okay,” I said, feeling let down. “When can I pitch my tent?”
“Soon,” said Aranon. “Lets walk a little further, just to gauge
your stamina.”
We continued on for some time, following much the same
path that we followed when he took me on that picnic. As we
walked, our footsteps echoed off the trees and the rocks strewn
about. It was igneous rock, which is an indication of volcanic
activity.
“Are we following the path that I will follow?” I asked, after a
long silence and a time of observing my surroundings.
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Kerry Dennis
“Actually, I will be taking you to the base of the mountain in a

vehicle, but yes, this path leads into the one that continues on
over the mountain to Segundo Dome.”
“So the base of the mountain is, what, five miles away?”
He looked down at me, a look of amazement on his face.
“How could you know that?”
“I once visited a volcano in Northern Arizona. The rocks that
were ejected from the volcano started about five miles from the
actual volcano. I assume then that this mountain was once a
volcano, although obviously, not a big one. That means that there
will be a lot of growth on the mountain, because volcanic ash is a
good medium for organic growth, being high in carbon and
nitrates. It also means that there will probably be a bowl at the
top, a recessed valley, possibly even a lake I will have to either
boat across or walk around.”
His face was still washed in amazement. “I am really
impressed,” he said. “How did you learn this?”
“I was interested in volcanoes for a while. I once subscribed
to a magazine that had many different subjects you could choose
from and I got stuff about volcanoes. I don’t remember everything,
but at least I remember that much.”
“The lake is not large. You will skirt it. The path gives the
lake a wide berth because the Nolophans like to be near water.
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That doesn’t mean you won’t meet a stray one, or even two. It just
means that you will probably not come upon a nest.”
“Oh gosh! I feel so much better now! “ I said, rolling my eyes.
“One is too many!”
“I think that maybe the spider is the symbol of one of your
demons. Think about that for a while, okay?”
I nodded and we kept walking, further and further into the
woods. Which of my demons did the spider represent? I thought.
Is it sex? Is it fear? Yes, the Nolophans represented my fear.
Many legged, like the tentacles of my fear permeating my life.
Spiders can kill you; mommy said so. Spiders: the critters that
populated my nightmares, biting and paralyzing, locking me inside
of a cocoon, unable to struggle, unable to call for help. Spiders:
the specter of evil, the evil that lived inside me. This was the evil
that wasn’t evil, but instead was guilt and shame. It was guilt and
shame that held me so tight and would not allow me to feel
pleasure without pain, or love without fear.
“Can I kill a spider?” I asked, thinking that in eliminating the
symbol of my guilt and shame I could free myself from these
demons within me.
“No, you may not kill unless your life is in danger. You will
have a knife. As a matter of fact, it is in the backpack.
Nevertheless, it is not your quest to deprive another being of its
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life. Your quest is to confront those beings as the symbols of your

demons, and to banish them from your experience with your mind
and your will.”
“You know, it would help if I could kill one of them,” I said,
imagining myself standing over a spider that I had killed.
“It is against planetary policy to kill any living being except in
self defense. I would also caution you against the precipitation of
a life and death situation, as this could prove to be fatal for you as
well. Think about that, Christy. It is not necessary to kill the
symbol to vanquish the demon. What you must do is send the
demon away with the being that symbolizes it by following the
directions you have been given.”
“But killing it puts an end to it. Killing it makes me victorious!”
“Killing generates karma, vanquishing does not,” he
countered, stopping to look me in the eyes. “There is no karma in
refusing to own the demons that plague your life. There is only the
cleansing of the karma that brought them to you. You need not kill
to obtain dominion over your demons you need only to reject
them. Once you reject them they no longer have dominion over
you. But you must reject them while in their power, while
confronting them, for that rejection to work. You must see, with
every fiber of your being, that this demon no longer has power
over you. Then, when it leaves you, it’s power over you goes with
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it.”
“Okay, but I would rather kill it.” It was so engrained in my
consciousness, from all the fairy tales, from all of the Sagas of
heroism, that one must kill their opponent in order to prevail. It
seemed to me that just sending it away invited future attacks. “I
mean, if I just let it go, won’t it come back?”
“When you reject a demon, it no longer has the power to
return unless you allow it to. Remember, it is always your choice.”
“So, for the rest of my life I have to be on my guard? Why
not just kill it and be done with it?” I asked, still feeling as though I
wouldn’t be safe unless it was dead.
“Because it has brothers and cousins, and killing is never a
solution. The only solution is to send it away, with the force of
your will, and then to make no space in your life for it’s return.”
“Look, demons don’t care if there is space for them or not!
They push their way into your life without your acceptance! The
only way to stop them is to destroy them!” I said, heatedly.
“A wives tale. An untruth,” he replied, calmly. “Demons are
invited. They can only enter if you invite them into your space.
They are not indigenous to healthy living, to healthy thinking.
They use fear and emotional pain as a vehicle through which to
invade your life. When you vanquish them, you must vanquish
what they represent, namely the fear and the emotional pain. If
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Kerry Dennis
you choose to return to that fear, that emotional pain, then yes,
they can creep back in, because you have opened the door to
them again. But it will be a choice you make, Christy. It will always
be your choice.”
“Okay, so I can’t kill a Nolophan. Can you teach me how to
send my guilt and shame away when I banish one?”
“I think that is something that you will come to understand on
your journey. If you continue to have difficulty with it, ask one of
the guides to assist you.”
“Why can’t you teach me?”
“Because the outcome will be more powerful for you if you
discover it yourself. Don’t worry you will be given plenty of clues.
How’s that backpack? Is it getting too heavy?”
“No. I’m fine with it, but I would like to get back now, or the
walk back will be too long.”
“It’s going to be a lot longer than this to get where you are
going in the next couple of days, you know.”
“I know, but I would be able to sit down and rest anytime I
wanted too.” I was feeling a little winded, that’s for sure.
“Would you like to sit down and rest before we start back?”
“Yes,” I said, panting from the stress of the hike. Golly, was I
out of shape!
He found a couple of rocks close together and we sat down.
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My feet were buzzing with what felt like electricity, and when I
removed the pack, I felt myself sigh from the release of the
weight.
“After you have rested,” he said, “I would like to see how
long it takes you to put up the tent, and if you have any difficulties
with it.”
“Then I can take a nap in it, huh?”
“It depends on the time it takes to put it up,” He smiled.
“Have you given your symbol of personal power any more
thought?”
“Yes,” I said, “I even designed it once before, while I was
staying at the commune.” I grabbed a stick and scratched the
graphical representation as I described it. “It’s made from a
quarter inch wide, a twentieth of an inch thick, eight-inch long strip
of silver. It’s then twisted once and the two ends welded together.
This makes a Mobius strip. Then you give it one more twist, and it
is a figure eight in the form of a Mobius strip. Then you weld, to
the point where the two flat strips cross at the center of the figure
eight, two right triangles of silver of the same thickness, the
hypotenuse of which would be about three quarters of an inch,
points inward, long end on top and vertical on both sides, the
points then coming together at the weld point in the center of the
figure eight. This then forms the life sign, or the cross. It’s really
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Kerry Dennis
pretty, and I made it up myself.”

“I think you have it detailed enough that we can generate it
with the synthesizer,” he said, smiling and memorizing my crude
graphic in the dirt.
“Well, I’ll need a jump link welded on the top so that I can
wear it on a chain. It’s a necklace.” I drew that in as well.
“Okay, we’ll see what we can do when we get back. Ready
to set up your tent?”
It took me about thirty minutes to set up the tent, but that’s
because Aranon wouldn’t tell me how. He said I had to figure it
out for myself. There was a ten foot round base of some sort of
heavy material in, probably waterproof. Then there, was what
looked liked like plastic wires, about a quarter of an inch in
diameter all coiled up in the package. I pulled them out and
looked at them. There were ten of them. There were also twenty
little sockets with clips on them, and a hub unit that all the plastic
wires were probably supposed to be threaded through. I did that
and then checked the base for where the sockets were supposed
to clip. I found them all and then began the task of snapping the
ends of the wires into the sockets. After that I started to clip the
sockets to the rings all around the base. It took a while, especially
without help, to build the wire dome that would then be covered
with the one-piece sleeve that had loops that were to fit into the
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base clips where the wires were anchored. It was difficult to get
that sleeve over the top of that six-foot dome when one is only
five foot one. Finally, I found an opening in the sleeve, the door no
doubt, and was able to open it up enough to get it over the wire
frame and anchored in place. I sat back down beside Aranon,
huffing and puffing, but admiring my handiwork.
“Good thing it wasn’t raining,” remarked Aranon, with a
halfway grin. “The floor of your tent would have been a swimming
pool.”
“I’ll get better at it,” I said, groaning as I leaned back against
the rock and stretched out my legs.
After about five minutes of silence, in which I luxuriated in
deep relaxation, Aranon gave my shoulder a little shake. “Time to
take it down now and pack it away,” he said.
“Can’t I rest a little longer?” I asked feeling exhausted.
“Nope, part of the training. You need to build some stamina,
girl!” He shook my shoulder again.
Reluctantly I got up and began to tear down the tent. It was a
whole lot easier to take it out of its pouch than it was to get it back
in. I struggled with getting the plastic wires to coil tightly enough to
fit in the pouch. Then I had to refold the dome and the base a
couple of times before they would fit. Finally, I had it all back in
my pack and was ready for another rest. I sat down next to my
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rock again and leaned back.

“Don’t get comfortable. We have to start back.” Said Aranon,
gently nudging my leg with his foot.
“Jeeze, Aranon! I’m beat. Let me rest a minute.” I whined.
“Nope, got’a start back, it will be getting dark soon.”
“I’m glad I will be going on this adventure alone,” I grumbled,
getting up, feeling little twinges of pain everywhere, from stressed
muscles I had rarely used. I followed Aranon’s lead and began
trudging beside him down the path; the pack feeling like it
weighed a ton.
“How soon will I be going on my adventure?” I asked, shifting
the backpack back and forth, trying to find a comfortable position
for it.
“When I think you are ready, and you are not ready yet.”
I frowned at him and he laughed. “You have only walked a
fraction of the distance that you will need to walk each day in
order to meet the deadline of three days. Of course we can
expand that to four if you like. That may be a better pace for you.”
“I’ll get better at this, you’ll see,” I said, concentrating on just
plodding along, and trying not to pay attention to all of my aches
and pains.
“I’m sure you will,” he said, chuckling. “If you are nothing
else, you are tenacious.”
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Forty-Three
The next three days consisted of nothing but training. Hiking

into the mountains, putting up the tent, finding herbs, finding
edible plants, learning how to start a fire, learning how to prepare
food from the wild, and herbs from live plants. Aranon drilled me
and drilled me, and then tested me, again and again. By the third
day, I was not only keeping up with him, I was running ahead,
finding plants and looking for animal spoor.
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On one such jaunt, I found what looked like Kretchen tracks.

I alerted Aranon, and he agreed that they were indeed Kretchen
tracks.
“They also look fresh, which means there is a good chance
one is nearby, and probably keeping an eye on us at this very
moment,” he said.
“Do you think it will show itself?” I asked, filled with
excitement.
“If it does it would be a really rare occurrence,” he replied,
his face a mix of concern and deep thought. “This is pretty far
down the mountain for Kretchen. I can’t even imagine why one
would be venturing this far from its natural habitat.”
“Maybe it has come to meet me, and to be my guide and
protector,” I ventured, more thrilled than frightened.
“Possibly. And then again, there may be a shortage of food
further up the mountain and it has come hunting. That means it
could be more dangerous than the ones on the mountain. When a
Kretchen is hungry, it will not be as choosy. It might be best if we
started back.”
“I want to see it!” I said, like a spoiled child. I think I even
stamped my foot. “If it’s so dangerous, why are you sending me
off alone with nothing but a knife?”
“The fact that it has come this far down the mountain makes
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it more dangerous. You will need to trust me on this. Let’s get

back now.” He turned and started toward the path we had come
on and then stopped. “Don’t move,” he said, softly. “You are going
to get your wish.”
I watched in awe, as this gorgeous spotted, longhaired cat
with white tufted ears ambled toward us, it’s green eyes shining
like emeralds. Its fur was a blond color, almost golden, and it’s
spots and the rings around its tail were copper colored and shown
in the late sun like sequins on a field of shining gold. It took my
breath away it was so beautiful! Its cry was like that of a mountain
lion, but it wasn’t a menacing cry, it was just a hello. Beneath that
cry I could hear the big cat purring!
We stood like statues, as the cat came toward us, sniffing
the air, sniffing the ground. Then it stopped and looked at Aranon,
and let out this very kittenish meow, and then moved toward me.
My heart was pounding, but not so much with fear as with
excitement! I have no idea why I wasn’t afraid. As I look back on it
now I feel as though I should have been. Nevertheless, I made
eye contact with the beautiful cat, and kept it until the cat turned
its head away to sniff the ground around my feet. Then, just as I
had imagined it in a dream, the Kretchen rubbed against me,
butting me with his head so hard I almost lost my footing.
I reached down and pet it, and it turned its head in my hand,
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indicating where it wanted to be scratched. I scratched it behind

its left ear, and its purr grew even louder. Finally, I was able to
kneel down beside the cat and pet it like it was a large dog. As I
did this, the cat fell to the ground with a thump and turned on it’s
back. I scratched its tummy, and the purr became almost a
rhythmic roar. I don’t know how long this went on, but several
times I looked and Aranon was still standing like a statue, facing
away, not even seeing this fantastic kitty cat indulging in my
willing attentions.
Then, it stood up and looked me in the eye again. It gave
another kittenish meow and then with it’s tail switching, looked
around. It’s ears turned backward and forward, as it listened to
the forest in a way I would never be able to do. Then, suddenly, it
darted off into the forest, giving a lonesome cry from a distant
location.
“It’s okay, Aranon,” I said, “it’s gone now.”
“Are you okay?” He asked turning to look at me. I could see
a hint of a smile behind his concern. I think he knew exactly what
happened, and that this was somehow planned.
“It marked me Aranon, but then you knew it would, didn’t
you?”
“I had my suspicions,” he grinned.
“You set this up, didn’t you?”
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“Nope. What happened here happened because of you, not

because of anything I did.”
“That was a very friendly kitty, Aranon. It let me scratch its
belly. Do you know what that means, Aranon?” I was just
becoming aware of it myself.
“It means that it has chosen you as a friend,” he smiled.
“More! It means that it has given me control over it! It not
only gave me access to its most vulnerable area, but it purred so
loud while I scratched it’s tummy, that I thought soon we would be
hearing the echoes coming back off the mountain!”
Aranon chuckled. “Nothing about you surprises me
anymore,” he replied, his eyes sparkling with merriment. “Actually,
I think you set this up. You wanted so much to meet this cat, that
you drew one right to you!” He chuckled again, as we started back
for the path home.
“Are they psychic?” I asked, trying to keep pace with him.
“Who knows?” He said, recognizing my struggle and slowing
down a bit. “It could bare some looking into.”
“Aw, com-on. You are not going to tell me with all the people
working to create and balance this planet that no one has come
across this before?” I was incredulous.
“Never. You are the first to pet a Kretchen on more than it’s
head and back. You are the first individual that a Kretchen has
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ever given itself to, as you so aptly described. Once again,

Christy, you are unique.” He chuckled once again and gave me
his Tom Selleck look. I smiled.
“Why do you think that is?” I asked, not knowing the answer
within me.
“Maybe because your soul is native to this planet. The
Kretchen is also native to this planet, placed in stasis with those
who were left of its once mighty race.”
“Were there any other native animals placed in stasis?”
“A few. The Nolophan was one.”
“How could they have known you would find them and renew
their planet?” I asked after trying to imagine a race, whose sun
was dieing, going into stasis just in case someday, some race
would come across their planet and terraform it. I mean what are
the chances?
“Everything in the universe has a vibration. It also has an
atomic memory. One of the tests that were done, when we were
evaluating this planet, was an atomic memory scan. This in turn
alerted us to the fact that there had been a magnificent race that
had once lived on this planet. While investigating we found an
electronic message device, buried deep inside the planet. When
we were able to understand the message, we were faced with the
prospect of abandoning this planet. To develop the planet the way
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that we had envisioned would require a great deal of cooperation

from this indigenous race before we could proceed with our plans.
We were unsure if this race would even comprehend our goal in
revitalizing this planet. Then, we discovered how to release
individuals from stasis. We released one; you met him. He’s the
one who believes you are his child. He told us of his race, and the
power of their focus to be found by a benevolent race that sought
to assist others. They were more than willing to cooperate with
our goal, and even taught us a few things we hadn’t even
imagined yet.”
“So they actually helped you to restore their planet?”
“Yes.”
“Well that cat sure liked me. I have a feeling I am going to be
okay. I am going to make it through this journey and I am going to
learn a whole lot on the way.” He remained silent, as though he
were mulling this over. “I’m ready, Aranon,” I said finally. “I’m
ready to go.”
“Okay, then,” he said, without the least bit of hesitation. “We
will leave in the morning for the Southern Base Camp. There will
be a base camp on the Southern base of the mountain until you
start down into the volcano’s crater valley. Then the base camp
will move to the opposite end of the valley, until you get two thirds
of the way, and then we will relocate to the Northern base Camp.
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We will always be close, so you won’t need to wait too long for
help to come if you are injured.”
“How can you know if I am injured?”
“Trust me, we will be able to see you wherever you are. We
will also be able to monitor your psychophysical state. The only
time we will interfere in what is occurring with you will be if you
are injured and in need of emergency assistance.”
“I’ll be okay, Aranon. I think I know what my demons are. “
“Okay, what are they?”
“Guilt, shame, fear and death,” I replied, solemnly.
“Ah,” he said, smiling at me, “that’s good! That’s very good!
You may be confronted with dreams in which one demon or
another will assail you. These dreams are part of this process,
and are created by you, and only you. You will probably
incorporate symbols into your dreams. They will probably take the
form of demons. These symbols will represent what you are afraid
of, both real and imagined. You must interpret the symbols in
order to vanquish the demons. Still, you will get help along the
way from the guides and sages, and of course we will be
monitoring you. Any questions?”
“Will I have food in my pack or do I have to forage in order to
feed myself?”
“You will have rations for two days. How you use them is
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your decision. Where you will get more depends on fate, which is
based upon your choices. You will also have enough water for
one day, but there will be many opportunities to replenish that
supply, if you are willing or able to take advantage of them.”
“Okay.”
“Fine, I will wake you early, so you’d best get a good night’s
sleep.” He smiled and left.
A good night’s sleep didn’t seem to be on my bodies hidden
agenda though, and for much of the night I thought about what lay
before me. Finally, just before dawn, I fell into a fitful sleep,
hearing a kitten struggle against the specter of death from
beneath a metal pail. 26
I saw the face of death and it was an old man in an
undershirt, and it was my mother. I saw my guilt and shame
portrayed in a memory. It was a memory of a time when I abused
my cat. I locked the poor thing in the shower and then turned on
the water by standing on the toilet and reaching over the shower
stall. Poor kitty! It cried and scratched and howled to get out, just
like that kitten under the pail. I let it out, sobbing at what I had
done.
I saw my sexuality as an injured child with a broken doll. She
was crying, and there was blood on her nightgown at about crotch
level.
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I saw my fear, as a lake of fire, consuming my hopes and

dreams. I saw accountability as a great balance, where each
individual must bare the weight of their accountability until they
can speak and feel their forgiveness toward those who have
harmed them. Then, they received a full pardon for their part in
their pain, and were released from the wheel of Karma.
“Christy,” said Aranon, gently. “It’s time to get ready to go.”
“I didn’t sleep very well,” I complained as I struggled out of
bed.
“I’ll see that you get some rest time before you start your
journey. But now, we have to outfit you for the journey.”
“Okay,” I said, swallowing the bad taste in my mouth. “Can I
have breakfast?”
“Of course. And then we will go to the clothing repository and
find you some clothing. Then we leave for the Southern Base
camp. You can sleep on the way.”
After a breakfast of French toast, my favorite breakfast,
Aranon took me to the clothing supply and outfitted me for three
to four days in the wild. He told me to pick out thick socks, warm
underwear, heavy denim overalls and a long sleeved flannel shirt.
He also made me take a jacket and a wide brimmed leather hat
that would have had my hippy friends drooling. I already had the
hiking boots that Aranon synthesized for me before our hike out to
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that special pick-nick when I met the little grey beings that thought
I was their long lost child.
Hiking boots have to be snug around the ankles and yet
have extra space for the feet and toes. That’s because when you
hike for a long distance, your feet swell, and if the foot area is too
snug you will develop blisters and corns. So, there needs to be
enough room, even with thick socks, to wiggle your toes. It also
helps to have a steel reinforced toe, so that if you have to snug
your toes into a crack to get your footing, you don’t bruise them.
Walking on a stubbed toe for any distance can be very painful.
Also, the toe chamber needs to be wide enough and tall enough
to allow the heat of your foot to become trapped to keep your toes
warm in freezing weather, or you could end up with frostbite. It’s a
good thing those boots were just exactly what I needed.
After being outfitted, we went to the rotunda, through the
gate and then outside to a vehicle, parked just beside the airlock.
I climbed into the passenger side as Aranon spoke to one of the
guides by the lock. My backpack was waiting for me on the seat,
and it had gained a few pounds since the last time I carried it. I
imagined that they had packed more provisions than I had been
carrying on my hikes with Aranon during training. Finally, Aranon
climbed in and started the engine, or whatever it was that made
the thing go. It produced only a quiet hum.
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Once on our way Aranon suggested that I climb into the

back and get a nap. It seemed like a good idea, since I had seen
the countryside. I had been walking it for days with Aranon. I
climbed into the back and pulled my jacket over me and drifted off
to sleep.
I was awakened by a fast stop that almost tossed me onto
the floor. I sat up, my eyes still unfocused. “What’s happening?” I
asked
“Your cat.” Aranon chuckled. “I think it wants to make sure
you are all right.”
“My cat?” I asked, looking out through the windshield at the
Kretchen that stood before our vehicle, it’s emerald eyes glowing
fiercely. “Should I get out and reassure it?”
“Well, it doesn’t look as though it is going to let us go
anywhere unless something happens.”
“Are you sure it’s the same one?” I asked, not wanting to
step out and find out that this Kretchen didn’t like me.
“I have a feeling it is, but I can’t say for sure. I’m not sure
what to tell you to do.”
“Aranon! You have never been unsure of anything since I
met you.” I sat there thinking about it. Maybe all the Kretchens
would know me if I really was, somewhere inside me, a native of
this world. “Okay,” I said, “I’m going to open the door and step
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out. I’ll be leaving the door open, so if I need to dive in to avoid

something I don’t really want, I can, and I would hope that you
would step on it and get us out’a here fast if I do!”
“Somehow, I don’t feel afraid of this animal. I can generally
sense when there is danger and I don’t feel danger from the
animal, which is why I think it is your cat,” he said, calmly.
“Okay,” I said not really convinced. I opened the door and
stepped out, and then moved slowly away from the door to a point
where the Kretchen could see me. I then stood still, waiting for
some sign that this was indeed the cat I had encountered before.
Slowly, the cat inched toward me, sniffing, looking me over. I tried
not to show my fear, but my knees were shaking. When it got to
within three feet of me I could hear the low rumble of its purr.
Well, it could be my cat. Then, it moved toward me all at once,
and I held myself perfectly still, my heart pounding. I let my breath
out when it knocked its head against my leg. I reached down and
pet it and again it fell to the ground and turned its belly to me. I
scratched it and its purr was even louder.
“I suppose I will need to come up with a name for you, huh?”
I said, softly. It gave a kittenish meow and got to its feet and
bounded into the vehicle through the open door before I knew
what was happening. I stood there horrified, concerned for
Aranon, but the cat just lay on the seat and made itself at home.
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“Ah, what should I do now?” I asked.

“Climb in and shut the door,” he replied. “It looks like we
have a hitch hiker.”
I climbed in, and the cat sat up to make room for me. I sat
down beside it and scratched it behind the ear. I shut the door,
and it didn’t seem perturbed by that. Aranon started the vehicle
moving again, and it lay back down, dropping its head in my lap,
purring loudly. It smelled like heavy musk, but its fur was soft, like
silk. I continued to pet it as Aranon drove.
“I am going to need to contact base camp and get everyone
inside before we arrive,” said Aranon, taking some sort of
communication device from the dashboard. “Base camp,” he said,
speaking into the device. “Base camp, come in.”
“Base camp here,” came a voice as crisp and clear as
though the individual was in the vehicle with us.
“We have a bit of an interesting situation,” said Aranon, in a
quiet voice. “We have a Kretchen on board, and will need the
camp secure, and everyone inside before we arrive.”
“Excuse me, Aranon? Did I hear you correctly?” Said the
voice, with an incredulous tone. “Can you explain what you mean
by ‘We have a Kretchen on board‘?”
“It’s in the vehicle with us,” he clarified. “It seems to have
given itself to Christy. It wants to be with her. It’s in the back seat
793
with her, purring up a storm while she pets it.”

“Ah, Aranon, you have never been that good at joking
around, so I am going to assume that you are not joking, although
I find what you are saying more than just a little difficult to believe.
The base camp will be secure upon your arrival. Do we need to
take any precautionary action beyond that?”
“Personally, I think that the animal will remain tame in her
presence, but lets not push it,” replied Aranon. “Just make sure
everyone is inside, Jeff, and have your documentation devices
recording this, will you? Without documentation, I don’t think
anyone is going to believe this.”
“Will do,” replied Jeff. I was wondering if he was an Earther,
like me. His name was a good indication of that.
“I guess I should name it,” I said, petting the purring cat that
was at least as big as a Great Dane, although it probably weighed
more. “I don’t know it if is male or female though with all this fur,
and I am afraid to check it out. It may not like me getting that
personal.”
“Then give it an androgynous name,” he said. “That is if you
really feel you must name it.”
“Okay, how about Sam. That could be short for Samantha or
Samuel.”
“Sounds good to me,” he said, chuckling under his breath.
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“What’s so funny?” I asked, realizing that maybe this was a

pretty strange occurrence.
“Who could have guessed that we would be riding to base
camp with a Kretchen, tame as a kitten, cuddled up with you in
the back seat?” He gave a nervous giggle. “You are making
history, my dear! This has never occurred with a human, or any
other race, since Anchor became a living planet again!”
“But what about the little gray guys? Do they have a close
relationship with the Kretchen?”
“Not that I know of, but then they made sure that it’s genes
survived and that it was resurrected along with numerous other
plants and animals. For the most part, they have led a fairly secret
lifestyle. We have interacted with them since the beginnings of
Anchor, but there is still much about them we do not know.”
“I think they sent this one to me to protect me. I think they
are aware of a lot more than you think and that with their belief
that I am somehow related to them, they may be trying to protect
me while I am on this journey.”
“You could very well be right,” he replied. At that moment,
we pulled into what was probably Base Camp. There were
vehicles and domes scattered about. No one was visible as we
pulled to a stop. “Now, we have to figure out what to do with Sam,
while you are given your final orientation.”
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“I bet I could tell Sam to go wait for me in the forest, and he

would do that.” I had trouble thinking of him as a she, so I decided
Sam was a he.
“Well, now would be a good time,” he replied.
I opened the door and stepped out of the vehicle, sliding my
self out from under his head. He sat up and looked around and
then jumped from the vehicle. He toured the camp, sniffing and
investigating, and then came back and sat by my side, like a
trained dog. I knelt beside him and told him that I needed to do
some things with people for a while, but I would join him in the
forest later. I asked him if he would go into the forest and wait for
me. He nuzzled me and purred and stayed beside me.
“Please, Sam, go into the forest and wait for me,” I
reiterated. I pointed toward the forest. “Please, the people here
are scared of you. You need to go and wait for me in the forest.”
Sam looked around and then went toward Aranon, who was
standing by the vehicle. Aranon stood still as Sam bumped his
head against him gently and purred. Aranon slowly reached down
and pet the animal, and it continued to purr.
“I’m not sure I am going to be able to convince him to leave,”
I said, feeling helpless.
“Okay, well let’s walk toward that dome there and see what
happens when we try to enter,” he said, moving cautiously in that
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direction.
“Okay,” I said, joining him. Sam fell right in beside me as we
walked.
When we came to the door, I again told Sam that I would
see him soon and to wait for me. He sat down and made a low
rumble as we opened the door and started to enter.
“Just wait for me. I’ll be back. Please, Sam.”
Aranon stepped inside and held the door for me, as Sam sat
watching, his emerald eyes wary, his long tail switching back and
forth. I entered and Aranon closed the door. A huge sigh went up
from the room full of people, apparently mostly Earthers. Then
there was a strained silence as Aranon led me to what was
established as the front of the room. The room was filled with
tables laden with all kinds of audiovisual equipment. This much I
understood, having a brother in television broadcasting.
Obviously, my every move would be tracked. For the first time
since I had agreed to this, I felt really safe in following through
with this journey. Between all the tracking of my movements by
this team and Sam, I knew I was going to be safe.
“Okay” said Aranon, addressing the stunned men and
women in this small room. “We are good to go, as your mission
control might say.” He smiled at the team. “I guess you have all
come to the conclusion that this is going to be an interesting
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project, and want to thank you all for volunteering to assist. And
now, without further ado, I would like to introduce Christy, the
subject of our project.”
I looked out over the group, wondering why so many people
were interested in me, and most of them Earthers. “Hi!” I said, my
face filled with embarrassment. At this point twenty or so hands
shot up, as the group seemed filled with burning questions.
“All right,” said Aranon, smiling, “I am sure you have a lot of
questions and I want to answer them as quickly as I can so that
we can get down to business here.” He nodded at an individual in
the front, waving her hand excitedly. “Ruth? What’s your
question?”
“Christy? Have you ever been able to communicate with wild
animals before your transfer here?” Asked Ruth, a slim woman of
about thirty, with red hair and freckles.
“No,” I said. “I have been able to get close to dogs that
everyone else was sacred of though, and I have always seemed
to have a knack with animals.”
“All right,” said Aranon, impatient with the hands that were
waving, waiting their turn. “This is not the time to try to figure out
why a Kretchen has taken to Christy. She is about to embark on
an odyssey, which we are here to track and coordinate. Rest
assured, the animal has totally given itself to her, and appears
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almost domesticated while in her presence. It seemed to

recognize that I was there to protect her as well, so he also
marked me, accepting me as part of her environment. It is
probably waiting outside the door for her at this moment. Yes, this
is unusual. Yes, this is the first documented case where a
Kretchen actually entered a vehicle, almost as a domestic pet,
and allowed its self to be transported without incident.
Nevertheless, this is not our focus right now. Our focus is to
prepare Christy for her journey. Are we all on the same page
here?” Immediately, most of the hands went down. “John,” said
Aranon, nodding to a man in the middle of the group, “what is
your question?”
“In view of this recent development,” said John, nodding at
me, “Will we still be doing as close a surveillance as originally
planned?”
“Thank you John for letting that cat out of the bag.” Said
Aranon, frowning, and a nervous laugh traversed the assembled
group. “No, pun intended,” he remarked. “In view of this recent
development, we will be doing mostly sat-com and aerial
surveillance. It appears that at least one of this planet’s native
inhabitants has taken on the burden of protecting her while she is
on her journey.” More hands shot up and Aranon again looked
frustrated. He nodded to a woman near the back. “Jeannie, what
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is your question?”
“Aside from those who were assigned to the close
surveillance teams, will our schedules still remain the same?”
“Yes,” he stated. “Now, unless someone else has a question
pertinent to the project as it stands, lets do what we need to do
now to get Christy ready for this journey.” Everyone dropped their
hands and, one by one, began focusing on their part in this
exercise. “Good,” he said, breathing a sigh of relief. “Jeff, Angie,
will you join Christy and I in the back of the room.”
Aranon guided me to a small table in the back of the room
and pulled a chair out for me. I sat. Soon a woman and a man
joined us. The man took a sphygmomanometer from a bag and
placed it on my arm and began pumping it up to check my blood
pressure. The woman stuck a thermometer in my mouth. After
taking my blood pressure the man took a syringe from his bag
and a plastic tube. I knew what that meant. He was going to take
a blood test. I wondered at the primitive process, when Aranon
had a much more sophisticated means of testing my vitals and my
chemistry. I recoiled from the syringe.
“It’s all right Christy, they need to do this their way. Just
relax. No harm will come to you.” Said Aranon, gently.
“I don’t like needles!” I said, feeling afraid. At this point my
friend, Sam growled loudly and his body thumped against the
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door to the dome.

“Forget the blood test, Jeff,” instructed Aranon, softly, putting
his hand out to stop him from sticking me and the man released
the tourniquet he had placed around my arm and dropped the
syringe and vial back into the bag. I breathed a sigh of relief and
Sam made no further attempts to break into the dome.
“Her vitals are within the normal range,” stated Angie after
listening to my heart.
“Are you aware of any physiological problems that might be
a cause for concern?” Asked Jeff, checking my eyes with a little
flashlight.
“Nothing that I am sure you don’t know about,” I replied, still
feeling a little uncomfortable with Jeff’s demeanor.
“Okay,” he said, backing off and taking a seat at the table.
“Do you have your backpack?”
“It’s in the vehicle,” I said. “I was sort of busy with Sam when
we arrived and forgot to get it.”
“I have it,” said Aranon, plopping it down at my feet. “I
grabbed it as I was leaving the vehicle.”
“Good!” Said Jeff, smiling warmly. “Okay, I need you to open
it now and go through its contents with me.”
I pulled open the backpack and began pulling things from it
and putting them on the table beside me. When everything was
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on the table he smiled and nodded. He grabbed a package and

held it up.
“This is a meal ration,” he said. Then he reached across the
table to my pile and pulled something from it’s midst. “This is what
you will prepare it in. It is, for all due intents and purposes, a mini
microwave.” I had never heard the term before, so it just went
over my head. I didn’t have a clue, then, what a microwave was.
He opened the plastic box-like object. “You will place the contents
of the ration in here,” he said, pulling what appeared to be a
square, clear plastic bowl from a box from amongst the contents
laid out on the table. “Then, you will insert the serving dish and its
contents into the mini microwave, close it, and then press this
button.” He turned the closed box so that I could see a small red
button on its side. “When you press the button, it will light up.
When the light goes off, you will then open it, carefully, as the
contents will be hot. Remove the serving dish, and allow it to cool
for about a minute. Then you can eat it. Do you have any
questions?”
“Yeah,” I said. “What is a microwave and how long do the
batteries last?”
“Ah, wait a few years and you will know what a microwave is.
Nevertheless, since you are intelligent I will give you a clue. What
happens when you excite molecules way beyond their normal
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state of expression?”
“Well,” I said, thinking back to what I had studied about
physics. “I guess that would result in increased heat.”
“Exactly,” he replied. “It doesn’t have batteries like you are
used to. It has a power supply that may last for as long as a year.
We haven’t had an opportunity to test it beyond that.” He gave me
a quick smile. He then picked up another package. “This package
is filled with fresh fruit, which you can eat without heating. In fact,
any of the food packages can be eaten without the need to heat
them, but we included the heater, the mini microwave, so that you
could have hot food on cold nights.”
“Thanks, I said. “I guess that’s what has added the extra
weight to my pack. So, do I still make a fire?”
“That would probably be a good idea. Fire will help to protect
you from Nolophans and other animals which may or may not be
a problem while your Kretchen is with you.”
“Can I have some matches?” I asked. “I’m not very good at
starting a fire from scratch.”
“All you get is what is in the pack. As Far as I can see, no
matches were included.” Without further comment on the subject,
he reached over and pulled another package from the mix. “This
is a medikit. It contains several things you should know about. He
pulled the package open and began to remove things from it.
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“Most of this you know about, like bandages, an antibiotic cream,

an inflatable arm splint, an inflatable leg splint, two pressure
syringes, one containing antibiotics, and one containing an
antihistamine called epinephrine, in case of an acute allergic
reaction. Do you know the signs of an acute allergic reaction?”
“No,” I said, feeling not only overwhelmed by all of this, but
also certain that I would remember none of it when the chips were
down.
“Difficulty breathing, difficulty swallowing, hives over a major
portion of your body, itching, swelling and burning of your face,
hands or feet, or all of them at once. An allergic reaction is
something that needs to be treated as soon as you are aware of
it, as it can be fatal if not treated in time.”
“Okay,” I replied, giving Aranon a frightened look.
“It’s just a precaution, Christy. You may not need it at all, but
then it is better to be safe than sorry, right?” He said,
diplomatically.
“Okay,” I replied, swallowing hard, wondering what I was
getting into here.
“Finally,” said Jeff, reaching over and pulling another
package from the mix, “this is the personal care pack. In here are
clean clothes to use when needed, and four packages of multi-
vitamins, to be taken daily. This will assist you in maintaining your
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stamina and to protect you from becoming too physically depleted

if you should miss a meal.”
“Okay,” I said, realizing that I now had to repack the
backpack. I began placing things back in the pack, one at a time.
“Are you presently having a period?” Asked Angie, leaning in
to whisper this in my ear.
“No,” I whispered.
“Do you expect your period within the next four days?”
“I don’t know,” I replied, honestly. I had lost all track of time
and knew I had yet to have one while I had been here.
“Are you presently experiencing any bloating or cramps?”
She asked.
“No,” I replied, now frightened that I may have one while on
this trip. “What if I do get it on the trip? I see nothing to deal with
it.”
“I think I should check you out just to make sure,” she said.
She reached her hand out for me to take, and I looked at Aranon.
He nodded and I got up, took her hand and allowed her to lead
me into a screened off area that contained an examination table
complete with stirrups. As soon as I saw it my heart began to
pound, and I felt sweat seep from the pores of my face and
underarms. My fear halted me, and I looked back hoping to catch
Aranon’s eye, but he was speaking to Jeff, his back turned to me.
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“No!” I said, emphatically, pulling away from her.

“It’s okay, Christy. It’s just you, and me and I am not going to
harm you in any way. All I want to do is make sure you are not
going to be dealing with a period on top of everything else, okay?”
She stood, waiting patiently, not making any moves as she
awaited my response.
“I can’t do this,” I said. “It’s too scary.” I began to move back
toward the opening to the cubicle.
“Would it help if I asked Aranon to be here with you? He can
calm you and make it a lot easier.”
“No!” I said. “Just give me some pads and some tampons
and let me go.”
“No, Christy, we can’t let you go if you are about to have
your period. We will have to expurgate it if that is the case.”
“Aranon!” I cried feeling frightened. Within seconds he was
at the opening to the cubical.
“How are we doing?” He asked, smiling.
“I can’t do this,” I said, shaking uncontrollably.
“Okay,” he said, moving to my side. “But we need to get this
taken care of, so I will just give you a little assist.” He reached out
and touched my forehead before I was aware he was even going
to and everything just faded to black.
When I awoke, I was laying on the examination table,
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covered with a sheet. I turned and saw Aranon, standing beside

me.
“Feeling better?” He asked.
“I was fine to start with,” I said angrily. I heard Sam snarl
loudly just outside the dome. The sound was bone chilling. “I think
Sam wants me out’a here as much as I do.”
“You can get dressed now,” he said, patting my arm and
then leaving the small room.
I found my clothes piled on a chair next to the examination
table. I dressed hurriedly; glad to be past whatever was done to
me. As I emerged from the small room, Aranon was waiting,
holding my jacket and my backpack.
“You’re ready to go,” he said, giving me a winning smile and
a wink. “Just one last thing.” He put down the pack and jacket
and knelt down in front of me. Then, he drew me into a warm hug,
holding me as my heart skipped a beat. “I will see you tonight.
Take your time, and allow yourself to rest as often as you need to.
Your first stop on this trek are the caves where you will search for
and retrieve your symbol of personal power. Once you have found
it, you will be guided out of the caves and back on the path. Be
careful and allow your heart and your special friend, Sam, to take
care of you.”
“I will,” I said, glad to be finally almost on my way.
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“Here is your handbook and the map you will be following.

Keep them safe, for they will see you through this.” He handed
me the map and the book and I slid the book into my pack and
folded the map and put it in the back pocket of my jeans.
“I will,” I said. “Do I get a compass?”
“You have Sam. He’s better than a compass, which probably
wouldn’t work the same here anyway. Follow the map. The path is
not hard to follow, but you may loose it for a time in the
overgrowth. Just remember, the suns rise in the East and set in
the West, just like on Earth, but they are also slightly North of this
area, so they will always cast a shadow, even at their zenith. You
will be traveling North, most of the time, with a little jog to the east
and then back West, as you skirt the lake in the volcanic valley at
the top of the mountain. Eat when you are hungry, rest when you
are tired, and stay close to Sam, although I am certain you will
have little choice about that.”
“Okay,” I said, feeling at a loss for words. I gave him an extra
hug and kissed him on his cheek. “I’ll be fine,” I added, smiling at
him. I picked up the pack and the jacket.
“I have no doubt,” he chuckled, getting up. He led me
through the command center, which is what it looked like to me,
and then to the door. “Sam’s waiting for you.” He smiled. I opened
the door and joined Sam, who butted his head into my leg so hard
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I almost fell over, again.

“Okay, Sam,” I said, giving him a quick scratch behind his
ear, as I reached into my back pocket and retrieved the map. I
saw the base camp on the map, and the path as it picked up just
past the edge of the forest. I started in that direction, with Sam at
my side. I felt like Sheena of the jungle as he padded along
beside me. I smiled to myself. “We’re on our own now, Sam.”
Together, we entered the thick forest. I tied my jacket around
my waist by the sleeves, adjusted my pack and plodded forward,
afraid, but not too afraid, excited to be finally on my way.
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Forty-Four
I walked into the forest with Sam at my side, checking the

map periodically as I walked. According to the map, the cave in
which I would need to search for my symbol of personal power
was less than a days walk. That was my first objective.
I walked quite a ways into the forest before I decided to sit
down and rest and take a drink. The birds were singing and the
sun slanted onto the path dappling it with patches of dancing,
golden light. The trees were tall and green and I felt as though I
could close my eyes and imagine myself in the wilds of Colorado.
After my rest and drink, I started out again, and Sam was
ranging now, sometimes off to the side or yards ahead of me,
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checking out scents and sounds or something. Then, at a turn in

the path, I was suddenly walking toward a person. He was one of
the Gray people wrapped in a robe made of rags, a hood over his
head. He held up his hand in the universal signal for stop.
“Where are you going?” He asked, his large eyes blinking
slowly.
“I am on a vision quest,” I replied.
“What do you seek?”
“I seek to release my shame, guilt and fear.”
“Come to my dwelling.” He said curtly, and then turned and
led me through the forest to a hovel made of rocks and stones.
There must have been a flu pipe or hole in the top of the dwelling,
because I saw smoke wafting from it. The door was some sort of
heavy thatched material, which he folded aside and held, so that I
could enter. I had to duck to get through the door. I got a feeling
for what it was like to be Aranon in surroundings made for little
people.
Inside of the dwelling it was warm and well lit. In the center
of the single circular room was a circular hearth, within a circular
metal framework that went all the way to the sealing and may
have even provided the load bearing structure around which the
entire dome was built. It appeared to be made of brass and was
highly polished, parts of the fixture reflecting light around the
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room. I approached this central focus of the room and looked into
the circular fire pit. Either the fire was fed by the introduction of
gas into the bottom of the pit, or it was just fire, consuming
nothing but oxygen, trapped there inside the cage that surrounded
the pit. Above the caged fire pit was a grating, on which stood a
copper colored teapot just coming to boil. The little gray being
took the teapot off the grating and went to a table, where two
earthen cups sat before two rustic chairs.
“Come,” he said, after such a long silence. “Sit, share a pot
of tea with me.”
I went to the table and pulled out a small chair and seated
myself as he filled the cup in front of me. I say he here, because
there was no way for me to know if this being was male or female
and I, like most people raised in Earth’s twentieth century, lapse
into using the chauvinistic he when unable to determine gender.
He pored a cup for himself and then took the teapot back to the
hearth and hung it on a hook above the grating to keep it warm.
“What is it you are guilty of?” Asked the little gray being, after
sitting down before his cup and taking it in both hands.
“I am guilty of going against God’s law in many lifetimes
including this one.” I said, trying to get my knees under the table. I
felt uncomfortable, not because of the small table and chair, but
because, as I saw it, my crimes were innumerable.
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“What is past has probably already come back to you, for

you are an old soul indeed.” As he spoke to me his eyes sparkled
and danced with the light from the hearth. “What is it that you did
in this life that is against the laws of The Greater Life?” He
blinked, and I could see my reflection in his huge almond shaped
eyes. I looked haunted.
“I abused myself and also pressed others to abuse me by
my behavior.” This was as honest as I was prepared to get.
“How did you do this?” He asked, sipping from his cup. “How
have you abused yourself and caused others to abuse you?”
“Nearly all of my life I have behaved sexually
inappropriately.” I began to feel overly warm. I wriggled in my
chair, anxiously.
“What is appropriate sexual behavior?” He asked. “How did
you deviate from this appropriateness?”
“It is inappropriate in my race to seek sexual gratification
when you are a child under a certain age. I sought sexual
gratification from others before I was even three years of age. I
displayed promiscuous behavior and drew abuse to my body from
individuals who were, themselves injured and weak. Back then I
didn’t know that I was doing this, or that what I was doing was
wrong. I only sought gratification, because I had come to need it.
Now that I am an adult and understand what I was doing, I feel
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guilty and ashamed.”

“If you didn’t know then that this was an affront to your god’s
law, then why should you feel guilt and shame now?”
“Because when I was told that it was wrong, that it was bad,
I didn’t stop. I kept seeking this gratification; I kept manipulating
people to accommodate my needs and in the process drew
physical, emotional and sexual abuse. I am the cause of my own
illness, my emotional pain! All my problems, all my pain is the
result of my own behavior. I did this to myself and in previous
lives I did it to others, which karmicly adds up to the same thing!”
“Can you explain why the need for sexual gratification is
against your God’s law? If you were created, by your god, to
experience gratification in this way, why is it wrong?”
“Because it is socially wrong for a child to want this. Because
it is considered sinful, something God does not approve of.”
“Why would this god create you to have the capacity to
experience this gratification at an early age, before understanding
is complete, and then become angry and vengeful when you
discover this gratifying experience at such an early age and seek
to repeat it? It would appear to me that this god’s laws are also
inappropriate. Tell me about this god so that I can understand
such an impropriety.”
“God is the Creator, the ruler of the universe. He sent His
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only Son to save us from our sin. He gave us the Ten

Commandments. He loves us, but only if we follow those Ten
Commandments. He doesn’t want us to have sex outside of
marriage. It’s a sin to have sex outside of marriage. That sin is an
affront against God. For sinning in this way we will have to spend
eternity in a lake of fire, being burned forever, never again to be
free of the fire!”
“How could a god that you say loves you do this to you?
How could he want to punish you forever, so terribly, so painfully,
for seeking something that you didn’t know was wrong?” He
blinked again, and a tiny tear slid from the corner of his eye.
“But when I learned it was wrong, I kept doing it. You see?” I
said, trying to resolve the dilemma with responses that I had
learned in parochial school.
“Again, how could a god that loves you consign you to an
eternity of terror and pain for a pattern of behavior that was
developed before the age of understanding?”
“I don’t know,” I responded, feeling desperate and confused.
“All I know is that because I didn’t stop doing it, after I learned it
was wrong, I will probably wind up in hell. That‘s the name of the
place where the fire burns you forever.”
“The word you used, probably, indicates that there is a
means, an option through which you can avoid this terrible thing.”
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“Well, there is,” I replied, “but it probably won’t work for me.”
“What is this option and why is it that it probably won’t work
for you?”
“Because I have to take Jesus as my Savior and Lord, so
that He can wash away my sin with the blood of His Sacrifice.”
“And why is it that you are unable to do this?”
“I did do it! I did it several times in church! I went down the
isle and professed my faith in Jesus, and then couldn’t stop
drawing this perversion into my life. I kept acting inappropriately, I
kept drawing sexually abusive people into my life, and Jesus
didn’t help me, he didn’t teach me how to stop behaving that way,
he didn’t seem to even care about me, he just let it happen, over
and over! He was supposed to have washed away my sins, but I
still felt sinful. He was supposed to have guided me into become a
better person, into doing the right things, but either I didn’t listen
or he didn’t even try! It didn’t work for me! Jesus turned his back
on me. I realize now that I had it coming because of my past lives,
but Jesus was supposed to wash all that away. It didn’t work for
me. Maybe my sinfulness is beyond his ability to forgive or to heal
me.”
“May I offer you my God, my concept of the Source Of All
Being?”
“What would be the good of that?” I asked, confused. “If my
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God doesn’t love me, why would your God be any different?”
“My God does not condemn its Creation, for in doing so my
God would be condemning Itself, Its wisdom, and Its judgment.
My God is Its Creation, thus It cannot condemn any part of Its
Creation without condemning Itself, as The Creator. My God’s
Creation has no sin, for It’s Creator has no sin. All are innocent in
Its eyes. My God created no fire in which to torture sinners, for my
God created no sinners. My God created only challenges, based
upon the freedom to choose our own path. Yes, the challenges
we face are of our own doing, based upon our own choices and
yet, we are not punished for those choices, we are only
constrained to abide within the natural consequences of them.
When we find ourselves in a constant whirl of consequences, we
have only but to choose another path to assuage our discomfort.
We have only to admit our culpability and make recompense to
those we have injured to end the cycle of reciprocity. I offer you
this God, and submit that you are my God’s child.”
I sat there for a moment, spellbound with the feelings and
the images that this little gray being was transmitting to me on a
level that I was just becoming aware of. I found myself standing in
the presence of a Great Being that radiated love and light. That
being smiled and nodded at me and I could feel incredible love
and acceptance in that smile. It was an amorphous being, and yet
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it had expressions, like it’s smile and it’s eyes, that could see right
through me, into every nook and cranny of my being, and yet it
remained accepting, lovingly connected to my capacity to
perceive it’s gaze.
Then this amorphous being coalesced into what appeared to
be the form of Jesus. At least it was the most common
representation of Jesus; white male, Caucasian with blondish hair
and blue eyes. He smiled at me, raising his arms and welcoming
me into his embrace. I was drawn to him. I couldn’t help it. He
stood there beckoning to me, his arms open, waiting to embrace
me, radiating love and acceptance and I couldn’t resist. I went to
him and he enveloped me in his arms. His embrace was warm but
not smothering, comfortable but not sexually stimulating. I felt
validated, accepted, loved. I didn’t hesitate to ask him my most
burning question, though.
“Why didn’t you save me from those men who hurt me? Why
didn’t you lift me out of my pain?”
“Because that is not what I came to do,” he replied. “My
mission was to present Humanity with a way of thinking and living
that would set them free from the bondage of their distorted
traditions. My death was a symbolic act, representing the deaths
of all Humanity, where I descended into Hell, experienced the
torment there, and then ascended into Heaven. My goal was to
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break the hold of Humanity’s childish concepts of sin and

damnation, by fulfilling that for them, for all of them,
encompassing both past and future. My symbolic actions were to
assist men in coming into a greater enlightenment where love is
the Greatest Law, and cherishing one another as one would
themselves would take precedence over the Old Testament Law
of an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. Where the realization
that all are made in God’s Image and Likeness would take
precedence over prejudice, bigotry and the need to dominate one
another. Nevertheless, the race of Man is very stubborn and
continues to hold to those concepts and beliefs that erode his
connection to the Source Of all Being, and that degrade his very
existence.”
“So, in essence” I said, angrily, “we are at the mercy of our
own choices and there is nothing you can do?”
“I can love you. I can attempt to communicate with you, and
attempt to assist you in making your own personal connection
with The Source Of All Being, but I cannot force, coerce or
manipulate you into doing so. For only when it is your own
personal choice is it healing. Only when you make the shift, within
yourself, willingly, can the miracle occur.”
“But I was willing! I gave myself to you, willingly! I wanted
you to guide and protect me, but you didn’t!”
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“It is not I that you must give yourself to, but rather to a way
of life and a way of thinking that has the power to transform your
life. You must give yourself over to the flow of life as it comes
from The Source Of All Being. I know that you have now opened
to that possibility and that you are now on that path. So, I again
offer you the gift that I gave all Humanity on the day of my death.
Take forgiveness and absolution as my gift to you, now. Release
your guilt and your shame, and embrace my symbolic act, so that
these perceived wrongs can now be erased from the Heart of
Your Soul. Take my forgiveness and make it yours. Take my love
and make it yours. Take the pattern of my life and make it yours I
will send my angels to protect you as you walk your path toward
enlightenment.”
“So, what are you saying?” I asked, feeling the possibility of
escaping from the terrors of hell, from the horror of death, and
from my fear of life and love, and of trusting another human being.
“That I no longer have to worry about going to Hell? Are you
saying that I don’t have to be afraid of God and his wrath?”
“The Source Of All Being has no wrath,” he replied, sadly.
“Humanity had wrath, hatred and bigotry, and so they assigned
these qualities to their god, in an effort to legitimize them. I have
said many times, that I came to bring a new law and a new
covenant. Love The Source Of All Being, with all your heart and
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soul and mind, and love all beings you encounter, as you love
yourself. The Source and I are one and you also are one with The
Source, in love, in like-mindedness, if you but keep this covenant.
I accept you as my Sister On The Path, and I will guide you and
protect you, as this is the responsibility of an Elder Brother. You
have but only to open to me, to my thoughts, to my vision, to my
love.”
“But why did you abandon me to my pain and fear?” I asked,
once again unwilling to accept his love, when it had never made a
difference in the past, except to make my life even more
unbearable!
“I didn’t. I was there. I know that my love assisted you in
surviving, for you petitioned me for it. The truth is, your distorted
beliefs would not allow you to accept my presence, or my Love. I
know that my light guided you to those who could assist you. I
have been there beside you, all the way, waiting for you to see
me. Waiting for you to recognize who I really am, and to see
yourself for what you truly are, beyond what your distorted beliefs
have painted you.”
“What am I really?” I asked, still balking, still feeling the old
barriers going up.
“You are a child of The Source Of All Being. You are the
perfect reflection of a thought expressed by the consciousness of
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The Source Of All Being. You are the embodiment of its love and
Its compassion, colored with the uniqueness of your own personal
experience. One day soon you will be a voice, crying in the
wilderness, pleading for Humanity to awaken from their self-
generated nightmare, before they loose the capacity to actuate
their noblest dreams. You will be the voice of reason and hope.
You will teach many that the old ways don’t work. You will teach
many a new way, and I will guide you, and others, like me will
guide you as well.
“I am not the only one who seeks to assist the Race of Man.
Any one of those Others could have appeared here in this special
vision.” Suddenly, he began to appear as other individuals, like an
Arab man, a pudgy Chinese man, an Asian man, like from Tibet,
and many others, some of whom weren’t even human. “There are
many Elder Brothers whose paths differ somewhat from mine and
yet they all have viewpoints and processes that can lend
dimension and power to your spirituality, if you will open to them.
We are each of different paths, and yet all our paths lead to the
One Mind, to the Heart of Love, and to the Soul of Creation. Our
beliefs may be shaped by our experiences, but The Source Of All
Being shapes our hearts and souls for we have opened to that
process by practicing Love, Charity and Forgiveness. Today, you
are an initiate on the path of Love. Today, you are my beloved
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sister.”
I stood there, while he placed His hand on my shoulder,
befuddled and yet beginning to awaken. Finally, after a series of
powerful visions, I looked at him and saw the love, and felt the
love, and then finally returned the love. I stepped forward and
embraced him fully, throwing my arms around his neck, laying my
head on his shoulder, tears flowing from my eyes. Jesus did love
me! He did and he does! I just needed to awaken to his love. I just
needed to accept his gift and dump all that guilt, shame and fear.
I just needed to realize that he had been there all along, but
my experience had warped my perceptions. My guilt, my shame
and my fear had acted like a force field, insolating me from his
love and the power of that love to change the direction of my life.
It was my guilt, shame and fear that had been cutting me off from
the power of Life that flows from The Source Of All Being. I had
been wrapped in its cocoon, slowly decaying, physically,
emotionally, mentally and spiritually. It was my anger and my
need to blame others that kept that cocoon in place.
I released all of my shame, all of my guilt, all of my pain, all
of my hate and all of my anger. I just let it go, like an old coat that
I allowed to just drop to the ground by my feet. For a moment, as I
stood there embracing him, sobbing on his shoulder, I felt empty,
lost, and deeply sorrowful. Then, a light began to fill me and I felt
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a joy I had never known before, filling my heart. Now I knew what
saved meant. It meant emerging from that cocoon of guilt and
shame, of anger and fear and allowing it to fall away, so that we
can identify with our spiritual self, so that we can finally stand in
the light of love and merge with it.
“Thank you.” I said, my heart full of love and light. Thank you
for guiding me to this point. Thank you for not giving up on me.
Thank you for the gift of forgiveness that not only frees me from
the wheel of karma, but also from the oppression of my guilt and
shame. Thank you also for the capacity to forgive. I regret turning
away from you in my confusion, but I am grateful that you never
turned away from me.”
“Forgiveness,” he said, “is the gift that you give yourself
when you release your distorted perceptions of sin and
damnation. That forgiveness will always come from within you. It
is the gift of love expressed, unconditionally and the willingness to
release the darkness of the past and embrace the Truth that all
beings are divine, even when they have forgotten this Truth. Even
when, in their ignorance, they choose to express the darkness of
hatred and seperativeness.”
I truly felt that forgiveness within me as I envisioned the
divinity of all, even myself. Suddenly, I saw that Divine Light
emanating from within all things, all people, as he held me,
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Kerry Dennis
rubbing my back and smoothing his hand down my hair. Finally, I

stood back and smiled at Him. He smiled back and his smile was
one of total acceptance. I released Him and took another step
back, and then suddenly I was sitting in the chair across the table
from the little gray Sage. He sat sipping his tea, blinking slowly,
studying me.
“You see,” he said, “its all a matter of perspective.”
“Yes,” I replied, “it is.”
For a long time we just sat there, sipping our tea and just
being in each other’s company. Then, once we had both drained
our cups, he got up, gathered the cups and put them in a wooden
bucket and then picked up my pack and handed it to me.
“Time to discover your destiny,” he said. “I will return you to
the path, and your new friend, Sam. He has powers and qualities
you have yet to discover. Be mindful of his guidance, and secure
in his protection.”
“So, Sam’s a boy?” I asked.
“Yes,” he replied, as he held the door flap for me and then
joined me out in the even more brilliant sun of noonday, for both
suns shown at the zenith, an occurrence that is unusual and yet
happens with minimal regularity. He led me back to the path as
my eyes adjusted to the suns glare, and then bid me farewell.
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Forty-Five
As I walked along the path, my mind was still in a whirl over

the vision of Jesus and how I had stepped right into it and
participated when the whole concept of Jesus had been unsettling
for me since my early childhood. My philosophy did not deny
Jesus’ roll in the development of Christianity, but my personal
focus was not on Jesus, but rather on a more metaphysical, more
ecumenical viewpoint. I believed in God, and I believed in the
concept of the Christ, which I considered to be an enlightened
consciousness that descends upon any individual who has
overcome the challenges necessary to achieve it.
Sam rubbed his head against me and I knelt down to scratch
him under his chin. He purred loudly, periodically batting his head
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Kerry Dennis
against me. “Sorry I haven’t been paying enough attention to you

Sam.” I said apologetically. I gave him a good rub down, and then
took a drink and started again down the path.
Again, my mind went back to the vision. Why would I have
that vision? I mean it’s like some of the visions that I had heard of
while attending a Pentecostal church as a teenager. But there
were some subtle differences. It all began with a vision of God,
the little gray sage’s vision of God. Interestingly enough, I am not
unsettled by that part. I actually felt accepted and acceptable. But
then suddenly, there stood Jesus, looking like one of those
paintings done by English and German artists back during the
Reformation, where he was depicted as being blond and blue
eyed. This was also the way Jesus was depicted in my Sunday
school literature when I was a child.
Again Sam butted his head into my thigh. I stopped once
again and gave him a scratch. “We aren’t gonna make very good
time if I have to keep doing this every few hundred feet, Sam.” I
said, looking around us. Maybe he was sensing something. I was
told to pay attention to him. “Is something bugging you, Sam?”
The cat made eye contact with me and made a strange
sound way down at the bottom of his throat. Again I looked
around us, but saw nothing. I gave Sam a pat on the head and
then started down the path again. I went about four feet when
827
Sam let out a blood curdling cry. I didn’t know what to do, so I just
stood still.
Then, out of the corner of my eye I saw it. A Nolophan came
rushing toward Sam, but Sam was ready for it. He extended his
claws, long razor sharp claws, which he used to swipe at the
Nolophan. The Nolophan rose up on its back legs, exposing fangs
dripping with venom. Again, Sam growled and swiped at the giant
spider, ripping into the exoskeleton on its underbelly, drawing a
greenish blood that oozed from the gash. It would seem that
these spiders are not driven by self preservation, for even as it’s
life fluid drained from it’s belly, it continued to attack Sam, who in
turn continued to rip into it with his claws. After about ten minutes
of this, Sam had effectively sliced several of its legs off and the
beast was no longer able to attack. Sam howled once more, gave
the struggling arachnid a nonchalant sniff and then ambled over
to me and butted my leg.
“Die, you demon, die!” I said to the spider as it gave its last
convulsive struggle to attack and then lay still. “Go away and
never return to me!” I was glad that Sam had killed the thing. I
was glad that I was able to watch the symbol of my demons die. I
gave Sam a really good scratch and a big hug before we once
again started down the path.
After a few minutes of walking, my mind again returned to
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Kerry Dennis
the vision of Jesus, trying to understand it, trying to decipher what

it was really telling me. Did I see Jesus because he is the symbol
of my religious upbringing? Then suddenly, it hit me. Flashbacks
began to assail me, as I was taken back to Mr. Eddy’s bedroom,
to the words he spoke to me as he was abusing me. “Jesus will
be watching you. If you sin, if you ever let another touch you in
this way, Jesus will know. On the last day he will judge you and
you will be thrown into the lake of fire!” And then, my child eyes
looked up and saw the Crucifix, and the painting of Jesus in
Gethsemane. I saw Jesus, with long blond hair and a sky blue
robe, just as he appeared to me in the vision.
So, this is where my guilt and shame were born, in Mr.
Eddy’s bedroom. This is also where my fear of hell and the lake of
fire began. This is where my fear of Jesus came from and the
sense that he was just watching me, and didn’t really care,
because I was a sinner. So Jesus appeared to me, in response to
the root cause of my shame and guilt. He was all that symbolized
my pain and fear, my guilt and shame. Maybe, the sage saw this
and produced the vision to assist me in releasing my guilt and
shame. Maybe he saw this as the key to my dilemma. Or, maybe I
created the vision myself.
I was starting to get tired, so I found a rock beside the path
and sat down and fished my canteen out of my pack. I also
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retrieved a package of hard tack, like a granola bar, from the pack
as well. I unwrapped it and bit into it. It wasn’t too bad, having a
fruity flavor. It took a long time to chew though. As I chewed on
the bar, I also chewed on the vision, still trying to put it into
perspective.
When I had asked Jesus why he did not save me from the
abuse and the pain of my childhood he replied that it wasn’t what
he came to do. And yet, all of the religious stories, all of the
folklore surrounding Jesus said that he was capable of working
miracles for those who had enough faith. All the ministers would
preach that if you put all your faith in Jesus, He would heal you. It
never happened for me.
All I ever seemed to end up with was deeper pain, more
shame and yet another abuser. I didn’t know that my behavior
was provocative. I didn’t know that behaving like a wounded
animal drew predators who diligently sought out the weak and the
injured. I didn’t know why I needed and needed more and more
attention, more and more nurturing; I was the epitome of
neediness, and the perfect target for a sexual predator. I didn’t
know that either. So I went from church to church looking for
assistance with my pain and fear, and I drew one minister after
another with a hidden sexual agenda. Most of them never
consummated their fantasies with the actual act, but the line
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Kerry Dennis
between that and what they actually did was very thin.
Finally, unable to cope with my neediness, and coming to
believe that maybe Christianity was not the answer, I moved on to
other faiths, other philosophies that spoke of self awareness and
personal responsibility and a greater power that you can tap into
with your mind and spirit. These seemed to have a more rational
approach than fundamental Christianity. These also seemed to
communicate a greater understanding of love, which I had come
to believe, was energy, not emotion. It was in the metaphysical
churches that I found a place where I could be myself and gain
understanding. I wasn’t as needy when I meditated and
participated in study groups. I was learning a little more about
what life was all about, and from my present perspective what I
was learning seemed to be based in a more rational perspective. I
was very happy to allow Jesus his position as an Avatar, a great
Prophet who came to bring a message to Humanity. I recognized
His message contained certain truths, and yet so did Buddha’s,
Mohamed’s, Krishna’s and a host of others. I saw him as one of
many.
Then, I thought back to what the Jesus in my vision had said
about there being other Elder Brothers whose varying viewpoints
could broaden and deepen my spiritual experience. I remember
him changing into each of the great Avatars that I knew of and
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some I did not. It was like he was sanctioning, validating my

choice of a different path from that of his followers. I remembered
him saying to me that it was not him I needed to give myself to,
but rather to a way of life, a way of thinking that would transform
my life. In truth, that is what I had done and how I had come to be
here on Anchor. What I’d been doing was working and I was
becoming more and more aware of what I had been doing to
cause my own difficulties.
But my fear and pain, my guilt and shame came from
another time, when I was taught to believe other things. A time
when I was told about God’s wrath, a time when this had power
over me, spurring me into achieving, or attempting to achieve a
way through which to deflect God’s wrath, and through which I
might endear myself to Him. But it never worked. His wrath still
hung over me, eroding my spirit with a constant influx of fear and
dread.
Then I remembered Jesus saying that his death was
symbolic. It symbolized the deaths of all Men. In this symbolic act,
He went to hell for us before he went to heaven. I remembered
Him saying that this symbolic act was supposed to release
Humanity from the childish concepts of sin and damnation. He
professed to have come to fulfill the old law and bring a new law
based on love, caring and acceptance.
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Kerry Dennis
Jesus didn’t come to shame Humanity; He didn’t come to

damn us, or even to judge us, but rather to save us from our
childish concepts and beliefs. He came to save us from the
childish belief that there could even be such a thing as Hell. He
came to save us from the childish concept that a loving God
would stoop so low as to terrorize and punish individuals who did
not follow His law. He came to save us from childish concepts that
engender the belief that God loves one person or group of people
more than another.
Slowly, it began to dawn on me that my shame was based in
childish concepts, childish fantasies, and my fear was generated
by what amounts to Boogey Man stories. There is no heaven,
there is no hell, there is just life, in the body and out of the body.
The boogey man stories were designed to keep children in line, or
in bed while their parents slept. Nevertheless, as children grow up
they come to realize that it is just a story, and there was no real
boogieman. It was now evident to me that Jesus was telling me
that there isn’t any heaven or hell, that this is a fantasy and that
by granting me absolution, he was symbolically releasing me from
this fantasy, this boogieman story.
But, if it really is just a fantasy, a glorified boogieman story,
why was it created? Why would Humanity create such a fantasy?
Maybe such fantasies were created for the same reason that
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parents developed the concept of the boogieman; to frighten the

children into minding. What better way to keep social order
amongst people whose capacity for understanding social ethics
was driven by an animalistic need to simply survive? Frighten
them with horror stories about what happens to individuals who
don’t toe the line, who don’t follow the rules.
Back when the race was young and the lives of individuals
were based upon superstitious rituals and magical thinking, such
tales were probably very effective in keeping the masses under
the control of their priests and leaders. But, if that is true, how
could such childish beliefs maintain their hold on an educated
society that understood what made the sun continuously burn and
how to split an atom?
What made Humanity doggedly cling to such beliefs when,
with increased education in social morality and interpersonal
relationships, society could move beyond such childish and
emotionally destructive forms of social control? Is it tradition? Is it
because the leaders of the churches are afraid to abolish such
childish concepts for fear they would then loose control over their
flocks? Or was it something more basic, like if this concept was
dropped, a concept upon which nearly every religion in the world
is based, would it then follow that all of the other things that
religion teaches and all the teachings of the Prophets, Saints and
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Kerry Dennis
Avatars would then also be suspect?

Nevertheless, Jesus had told me that his goal was to break
the hold of Humanity’s childish concepts of sin and damnation, by
fulfilling that for them, for all of them, past and future. He said that
he had not come to condemn the law but to fulfill it. He said that
he came to assist men in attaining greater enlightenment, where
love is the Greatest Law, and cherishing one another as they
would cherish themselves would take precedence over the Old
Testament Law of an eye for an eye and a tooth. Where the
realization that all are made in God’s Image and Likeness, within
their spirit and soul, that all men are divine, and that this would
take precedence over prejudice, bigotry and the need to dominate
one another. But it would seem that Humanity just doesn’t get it.
After all, it had sure been difficult for me to get it.
I had long since finished my snack, and was still sitting there,
mulling over the vision and what it really meant. Finally, I picked
up my pack and put it on and once again began my trek up the
path toward the cave, where my symbol of personal power
awaited me. According to my map, the entrance to the cave was
just a stones throw away.
I slowed down and began to pay attention to the landscape.
The path on which I stood was beginning to wend its way up the
side of the mountain now, and the going was getting a little more
835
difficult. Not only was the incline of the path more pronounced, it
was also rockier. I picked my way along carefully, as there was a
lot of loose cinder in the soil making it easier for me to lose my
footing.
Sam didn’t seem to have any trouble at all, as he bounded
up the path and then stood waiting for me to catch up with him.
“Show off,” I said to him, as I struggled my way up the path
toward him. “I’m sorry I’m so slow, but you see I don’t have built in
cleats like you do.” I smiled at him and then gave him a pat on the
head as I drew myself up beside him. He gave me a deep purr
and then a kitten cry, as he butted his head against my unsteady
legs. The cinder here was like trying to walk on marbles and as he
butted my legs my feet slipped and I grabbed on to a tree branch
to keep from sliding back down the path.
“Jeeze, Sam, it’s hard enough trying to climb this cinder path
without you trying to knock me back down again. I know you like
me, but try not to kill me with your affections, okay?” He cocked
his head and meowed in response.
I found myself on a narrow ledge, and just ahead was the
opening to the cave. I guess that is what Sam was trying to get
me to see. I sat down on a rock and rooted in my pack for a
flashlight. Of course, it was on the vary bottom and took me a little
finagling to get it out without emptying the pack in the process.
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Kerry Dennis
Finally, with flashlight in hand, I entered the cave.

The opening was small but not impassable, nevertheless I
had to take off my pack and pull it through after me. I have never
been much of a cave explorer or spelunker as they are called, but
I did appreciate beauty, and once I had traversed the narrow
opening and the short tunnel that had me crouching to get
through, I finally emerged into a chamber that reminded me of
Carlsbad Caverns.
Not only was the chamber huge, but it was also filled with
stalactites and stalagmites in varying degrees of development,
layered with colors and textures from the different ores, calcium
and chemicals in the water that dripped incessantly. The walls
were covered with phosphorescent algae in a myriad of colors as
well. The whole chamber was like a fairyland!
“Wow!” I said, and my voice echoed back to me for what
seemed a whole minute!
I walked down into the chamber and marveled at the
inventiveness of nature. After my flashlight had shown on a part of
the wall it continued to glow in purple, green and blue. It was
cooler in here so I untied my jacket from around my waist and put
it on. I had no idea where I was supposed to go. The map didn’t
show much more about the cave other than its position on the
path. I looked through the book, holding the flashlight under my
837
chin so that I could hold it in both hands. There didn’t seem to be

any extra maps showing the layout of the cave. That was
unsettling. People could get lost forever in caves. I needn’t have
worried though, as Sam seemed to know exactly where to go.
As we traveled through chamber after chamber, I was
amazed at the diversity of rock formations and phosphorescent
colors that continued to glow after the beam from my flashlight hit
them. It was getting colder, and it would seem that we had
already traveled fairly deep into the planet, and the path
continued to descend deeper and deeper. I wondered how long it
would be before I found what I was looking for.
As we entered another chamber, I was amazed that here the
phosphorescence glowed without the aid of my flashlight beam,
and this chamber was not only larger then any of the others I had
yet to encounter, but it also had a large lake that actually had
waves that broke on the black sandy shore. As I stood at the edge
of the lake and looked across it, I couldn’t see the other side.
About thirty feet from shore a mist swirled above the water,
obscuring everything beyond, making the chamber seem limitless.
I knelt at the shoreline and ran my fingers through the water.
It was warm, which would explain the mists, since the air in the
cave was chilly. I smelled my hand and didn’t pick up any scent
that might suggest that the water wasn’t potable, but I was also
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Kerry Dennis
watching Sam, and he didn’t seem inclined to drink it, so I wasn’t

going to chance it. I learned a long time ago that animals in the
wild have good sense when it comes to finding the right place to
get a drink. Anyway, my canteen was still half full.
I walked along the shore remarking to myself that it almost
seemed as though I were on the surface, since the mists collected
in the upper part of the chamber, giving the illusion of clouds. The
only real giveaway was the echoes from the waves rebounding off
the chamber walls. There was also an ethereal glow to the mists
above, suggesting a starry night beyond the clouds. I assumed
this was from the phosphorescent algae, which probably loved all
this moisture.
I sat down on a rock beside the shore and turned off my
flashlight and was amazed at how much I could see without it.
The chamber wasn’t bright, but it was not dark either. I could see
about fifty feet down the shore where Sam stood sniffing the air,
his tail swishing. He looked back in my direction and meowed, not
nervous but not kittenish either. Then he padded toward me over
the sandy beach. When he reached me he sat down beside me
and laid his head on my knee. I sat there petting him, looking
around the chamber.
Then, through the swirling mists I saw a glint of light, about
half way up the nearest wall. I shined my flashlight in that
839
direction and the beam seemed to reflect off something metallic. I

realized that I had probably located my symbol of personal power.
I played the beam over the wall, looking for an access route.
There appeared to be a ledge that began near the bottom
and wound it’s way up the wall in a series of switchbacks. It
looked like a very narrow ledge. I wasn’t even certain that it would
support me. It seemed to be formed by jutting pieces of shale,
and shale is not the best stuff to trust your weight on, as it tends
to break apart easily.
“Golly! Aranon wasn’t kidding when he said that I would have
to be really creative in order to retrieve that!” I said to Sam, who
looked in the direction of my flashlight beam. I could see that he
too had caught a glimpse of something shiny. In fact, he stood up
and watched it glimmer, as an air current must have set it
swinging slightly. It appeared to be hanging on something. Sam
moved slowly in the direction of the glimmer, in a crouched
posture that said he was stalking. His tail switched back and forth,
and he made strange chortling noises.
“Yeah, well, if you wan’a go get it, that sure would save me
the trouble of trying to figure out how I’m gonna do it.” I said to
Sam. “On the other hand, that ledge looks to be as dangerous for
you as it would be for me, so maybe we should wait on that and
investigate our options.”
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Kerry Dennis
At this point, Sam was wriggling his behind, looking as

though he was going to tackle that wall and get that shiny thing.
Suddenly he bounded strait up the wall; forget about the ledge!
He found purchase on the ledge just under the object and batted
at it until it fell to the ledge he was standing on. Then, he picked it
up in his teeth and bounded back down the wall, head first, sliding
to a stop in front of me, the necklace still dangling from his teeth.
“Well, Sam, you are just positively stupendous!” I pet him on
the head and reached for the necklace. He released it as I gave a
gentle tug.
It was exactly what I had described to Aranon days ago! It
was beautiful and it looked as though it were made out of solid
gold! I put it over my head and immediately felt the power of it.
Suddenly, I felt energized and my mind was the clearest it had
been in a very long time. I actually felt the energy of my personal
power surge through me. I also realized that it had been mine all
along, and that putting on the necklace simply symbolized my
taking it back, my reclaiming it. It had been there all along, but it
had been buried under my fear and pain, my guilt and shame.
Now they were gone too. I knew that for certain. I had released
them during the vision of Jesus. I had had sent them away as the
Nolophan, their symbolic form, had died.
“Well, Sam, it’s time for you to really show your stuff now
841
and get us out of here. We still have a ways to go before we

complete this journey.” Sam meowed and swished his tail. “You
lead, I’ll follow.”
Sam rubbed up against my leg lightly and then turned and
started back down the beach the way we had come. Our
footprints were the only marring marks on the pristine sand that
made up this eerie subterranean beach, that danced in the
shimmering light of the phosphorescent algae glowing beyond the
swirling mists.
Within an hour we were pulling ourselves out the caves
entrance and back on to the path. The sunlight was much dimmer
now, as the suns began their descent behind the mountain. I
decided that we would need to make a camp soon and began
looking for large ledges or small mountainside valleys that would
be large enough to accommodate my tent.
After another hour of traveling up the mountainside, I was
beginning to think there was no place to put a tent. The higher we
went up the mountain, the steeper the path became, and there
seemed to be no flat spaces anywhere. Then suddenly, as I
rounded a bend in the path, I saw Aranon up ahead, sitting on a
rock smiling at me.
“Ah,” he said, cheerfully. “I was beginning to think I would
need to go looking for you.”
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Kerry Dennis
“The cave took a while,” I responded, grumpily, my feet

hurting. “I can’t find a place big enough to put up the tent.”
“Not a problem,” replied Aranon, “follow me.”
Sam and I followed Aranon up the path, scrambling for our
footing in the loose cinder. Aranon seemed to simply amble up
the mountain, without slipping or sliding. Then, when it seemed
that this path was just going to keep going up and up with no
relief, a small hillside valley came into view, and my heart leapt in
my chest at the sight of it. It was fairly large, about fifty feet across
and the valley had a relatively flat bottom and was surrounded on
all sides with trees, making it fairly dark, as the suns slipped
behind the mountain.
Aranon helped me by gathering deadwood for a fire while I
put up the tent. I had become quite adept at that task, so it only
took me about twenty minutes, from start to finish. Then I set
about making a fire pit and surrounding it with rocks to contain it
from the dry evergreen needles that padded the floor of the valley.
Aranon returned with the firewood and kindling as I completed this
task and laid it beside the fire pit. I had already padded the bottom
of the pit with dry pine needles and began to make a latticework
formation with the kindling. Finally, I placed the larger pieces of
wood on top and then looked at Aranon in the dim light.
“Well, I don’t think I am gonna do too well at rubbing two
843
sticks together to make a fire, so I would hope that you have a

means of lighting it.” I said, hoping he did, because I was
completely unprepared to make a fire from scratch.
Aranon pointed a device at the fire pit and the kindling began
to smoke and then burst into flame. “That should do it,” he said
smiling at my amazement.
“Would you like to share a meal with us?” I asked.
“No, you go ahead, I’m fine.”
I took out the so-called mini microwave and a food package.
I put the package into the little box, set the time for three minutes
and then set it on a the ground while it did it’s thing. I fished a kit
out of the pack and opened it. It had a bowl on the bottom, a plate
on the top and silverware inside. I opened the little microwave
when it had finished its process and gingerly tore open the heated
package and pored its contents into the bowl. It smelled good. I
took a bite with the spoon. It tasted like chicken teriyaki with rice. I
ate hungrily as Aranon watched and scratched Sam behind the
ears. When I finished, I took a drink from my canteen and realized
that it was down to less than a third full.
“How am I doing?” I asked, as I snugged my back up against
a rock and stretched out my aching legs.
“How do you think you are doing?” He asked.
“I think I am doing fantastic!” I said, feeling my personal
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power, even though I was achy and tired.

“I would have to agree,” he responded. “I see you were able
to retrieve your symbol of personal power. Was it difficult?”
“Nah, piece of cake,” I said, grinning.
“Tell me how you did it?”
“Actually, I didn’t,” I replied, feeling the need to be honest.
“Sam got it for me.”
“Really?”
“Yep! He just ran up the wall, grabbed it and ran down again.
I couldn’t believe my eyes! He sure is a handy friend to have.
Then he led me back out of the cave. The people who put that
into the cave must have really had to work hard to erase all traces
of their passage, because without Sam, I would have been lost.
Oh, and before we got to the cave, he got in a fight with a
Nolophan. Guess who lost?”
“Obviously not Sam.” We both had a good laugh.
“I met a little Gray sage,” I said, off handedly, during a long
silence.
“Tell me about it.”
I told him about the sage and his dome dwelling with the fire
pit in the middle. I told him about having tea with him and the
conversation we had. Then I told him about the vision I had, how
it had disturbed me and how I had finally interpreted it’s meaning.
845
“It sounds to me as though you have gained quite a bit of

insight.” He responded when I had finished my tale. “Do you think
you have actually let go of your guilt and shame?”
“It felt like it. I guess the only way to know for sure is to wait
and see if it comes back.”
“I suppose you are right,” he chuckled. “I want you to know
that I am very proud of you,” his tone sobered. “You have done
well. Of course you still have a ways to go, but I have every
confidence in your ability to get through it, especially with Sam at
your side. It would seem that the two of you make a good team.”
He smiled and got to his feet. “I will be going now,” he said, as he
bent down and patted me on the head.
It was already dark and he didn’t appear to have a flashlight.
I wondered how he was going to navigate that steep path without
a light. “How will you get out of here safely?” I asked, my concern
showing in my voice. “Would you like my flashlight?”
“No,” he replied, with a gentle smile. “I’ll be fine. You will
need that, but I really appreciate your willingness to give it up out
of concern for my safety. As I told you once before, I have a few
talents of my own.” He winked and strode off into the darkness as
the fire crackled and spit glowing embers into the night sky.
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Forty-Six
I lay in my tent, snuggled down into an ultra light sleeping

bag that kept me as warm and toasty as one of the thick, down-
filled ones back on earth. It folded up into a square that was one
inch thick and 3 inches square, just a little bit bigger than a
cigarette package and weighing less than 4 ounces. Beside me,
not in the sleeping bag but inside the tent, lay Sam, who snored.
Suddenly, something attacked the tent with enough force to
have torn right through any Earth type tent material, but this
material repelled it, although with that much force, I didn’t know
for how long. Sam was up on his feet and snarling before I was
even able to sit up. It was dark, so it was difficult to see anything. I
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struggled out of my cocoon and moved slowly toward the door so

that I could let Sam out. I knew he could see me and would not
mistake me for the attacker, but I didn’t know if the attacker was
right outside the door or not, and really didn’t want to be caged in
this tiny tent with two raging animals. Nevertheless, I had to let
Sam out, as he was clawing at the door, and with his claws, it was
only a matter of time before there was no more door.
Finally I felt my way to the edge of the door flap that was
secured with what we, today, would call Velcro. This Velcro could
pull apart easily if pulled from the right angle, but would doggedly
hold tight if pulled from the wrong one. I felt for the lift tab at the
bottom and pulled sideways until a small triangle of the star filled
sky was visible. Sam immediately leaped through the small
opening and out into the night and I hurriedly resealed the door. I
could hear Sam prowling around the periphery of the tent, sniffing
and keeping a constant low growl going in his throat like an
outboard motor in idle mode.
Then the growl became snarls, which were met by other
snarls that were not Sam’s. At this point it was obvious that a fight
had ensued between Sam and the attacker. I lay on the floor of
the tent and pulled the door tab to raise the flap just enough so
that I could see out through a small crack.
There, as silhouettes in motion on a background of stars,
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Kerry Dennis
were Sam, and a Codger. The Codger was at least as big as

Sam, and seemed to have more weight on it as well. Sam had his
knife-like claws, but the Codger had knife like teeth, and a lot of
them too! Then, the Codger somehow was able to grab Sam’s
neck and force him to the ground, and I gasped, terrified that this
may be his last moment.
Then Sam, in spite of the fact that the Codger had a killer
hold on his neck, reached backwards with his front paws and
locked them behind the Codgers front legs. Before the Codger
could react, Sam lifted his hind legs; right over the head of the
Codger and ended up on it’s back. The Codger still had a hold on
Sam’s neck, but now Sam gripped the underside of the Codgers
neck with his teeth, forcing the Codger to turn it’s head in an
extremely awkward position from which he must either extricate
himself or be unable to breathe. Finally it let go and Sam then
viciously chewed and clawed the Codger to death. It was sad and
yet, I breathed a sigh of relief.
Suddenly, Sam’s nose was right in front of my eyes as I
looked out of the open crack at the bottom of the door flap.
“I’m okay, Sam. You did good! Thank you Sam. Guard the
tent, okay?”
I wasn’t sure I wanted him back in the tent with me. He was
probably bleeding, and had the Codgers blood all over him. I
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hoped that he would be all right as I sealed the door flap.

Crawling back into the sleeping bag, I was exhausted, but
my heart wouldn’t stop pounding. This, in turn, reminded me of so
many times when my fear had run away with me and I lost
control, and another part of me took over. I worked on
systematically relaxing myself. Finally, after what seemed like
forever, I fell asleep.
“Are you in there?” Asked a voice. I knew it wasn’t Aranon,
for it was a woman’s voice. What woman would Sam let get this
close?
“Who are you?” I asked, scrambling out of my sleeping bag.
“I am Uma. I have come to give you guidance.”
“How is it that my Kretchen, Sam, has not torn you to
pieces?”
“Your friend and I have met. He has marked me. I am
accepted.”
“Okay,” I said, “do you want to come in, or shall I come out?”
“May I come in?” She asked.
I opened the door flap and allowed her to step in.
Immediately, I recognized her. It was Jeannie! This was the other
Sam’s wife on Colony Five and the mother of the little genius,
Andy. The little girl I had connected with while living in a California
commune.
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“Jeannie!” I said, reaching to give her a hug. She knelt down

and hugged me. “What brings you here and why did you give that
other name?” I asked.
“I came for the purpose that I stated,” she replied, “and that
is the name that I use when I am on a mission for my Order. I am
a Priestess in The Order Of Light. Uma means centered.”
“Well, I guess at last we get to spend time alone, huh?” I
said, in awe of her. I had no reason to see her as anything more
than the little girl from California all grown up, a wife and mother.
It was difficult to imagine her as a Priestess.
“Yes!” She said and then giggled. “That’s one of the reasons
that I applied to be one of the Guides on your quest.”
“Do you traipse around in this forest regularly? I asked.
“I have always loved Nature, Christy, you know that. Back
when Sam and I first lived in Top Side, I joined the Order. Part of
our initiation process is survival in the wild. After I was initiated, I
would come out into the forest for two to three days every month.
Since Andy’s birth I haven’t had the opportunity to do something
like this, but Aranon said that he would give Andy some
challenging things to do at the Center while I am out here, so here
I am!”
She gave me a brilliant smile and got comfortable on the
floor of the tent, sitting Tailor fashion. She was dressed in an outfit
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that almost looked like a cross between something out of I dream

of Jeanie, and Sheena of the Jungle, but then why not? Jeannie
was her name and she grew up in the era when both programs
were prime time viewing for kids.
“I love the outfit,” I said, grinning. She was lovely in it.
“We had to make our own Ceremonial Garb. I made this,
because it made me feel in charge of myself, and yet beautiful
too. I know, you probably think its hokie.” She giggled light
heartedly.
“No, actually I agree, it makes you look beautiful. I like it.
So,” I said, changing the subject, “what is it that you are here to
offer me guidance on?”
“That depends on what guidance you need.” She smiled,
softly.
“I don’t know, Jeannie. It’s really hard for me to imagine you,
not only all grown up, but older than me and with more
experience. I’m kind’a off balance with this role reversal here.” I
knew I was floundering, looking for words to describe my feelings
and sounding pretty lame.
“It’s okay, Christy, I understand. Actually, I think it’s pretty
neat! What a wonderful opportunity to repay your kindness. You
know, I never, ever forgot you and I think I have thought about
you nearly every day of my life since then.”
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Kerry Dennis
“Aw, com’on,” I said. “You only knew me for a few months.

Why would you think of me so much?”
“Because you were the only one in my life who validated me,
just for being myself. You allowed me to be a kid. Mom and Dad
wanted me to be their caretaker. I was not only expected to take
care of myself, but them too, especially when they were stoned.
You didn’t need me to take care of you like that. Yeah, I know,
you had your problems back then and you did need someone to
care about you, but you never asked me to take care of you.
Instead, you gave me a lot of care. You watched over me, and
you protected me. You not only allowed me my fantasy play, but
you joined in and made it broader, deeper, and more exciting!
You were a natural born kid! I adored you and was heartbroken
when Daddy told me that they had sent you home to your parents.
I didn’t think you needed your parents, I thought you were all
grown up. But Daddy said you had too many problems for the
commune to pay attention to. He said that you were sick and
needed to be with people who cared about you. A week later we
left the commune and Daddy got a job Working at a free clinic. A
year later he completed his PhD in psychology, which he had put
on hold to be a hippy, and opened his own counseling practice.
After about two years, we had a house in the suburbs, two cars
and I was going to a private school. The hippy life was left behind
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and we became just another upper middle class family. But when
I was down, when I felt alone or was challenged by life’s
experiences, I thought about you. I wondered about you. I
dreamed of one day finding you again and repaying the favor.”
“Okay,” I said, overwhelmed by her statements. “I have no
idea how you can help me now.”
“Okay, what is your quest?”
“Well, I retrieved my symbol of personal power and I have
mostly sorted through what it was that caused all my guilt and
shame, so my main goal now it to complete the trek and make it
to Segundo Dome.”
“What about your chosen Path? Have you decided on what
that might be?”
“I’m not even sure what that means,” I said. “I guess I will
continue to seek truth.”
“To what end?” She asked.
“To have a better life.”
“And then what?”
“I don’t know. Help people maybe.”
“And how would you help people?”
“Oh, I don’t know. What am I supposed to say, Jeannie?”
“A path is a discipline that one lives by, through which they
can expand their soul and touch the souls of others through
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Kerry Dennis
sharing their wisdom and being a living example of the truth and
wisdom of their chosen path. I know, it sounds a little circular, but
each path is different, so I am leaving that part out. I follow the
Path of Light.”
“I suppose I would follow that same path,” I said.
“Then you will need to understand that Path.”
“I suppose I will, but there is obviously not enough time for
you to tell me all I need to know about it today.” I smiled at her
and felt fidgety.
“No, but I can share some of the basic principles about that
Path.”
“That would be really nice,” I said, “but I am concerned about
Sam, so can we go see if we can find him? He got into a fight with
a Codger and I know he was bitten by it.”
“He is right outside, and he looked fine to me, but go have a
look.” She smiled.
I opened the door flap and stuck my head out, looking for
Sam. Then, he nuzzled me from behind, letting out a rolling purr. I
pet him and felt his neck, which seemed to have a few scabs
forming, but no open wounds.
“I’m so glad you are doing okay,” I said, giving him a hug. I
pulled myself back inside the tent and sat down again. “Okay,
he’s fine.”
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“So, shall I give you the basic principles of the Path of

Light?”
“Sure, “ I said, giving her an indulgent smile. “Go ahead.”
“The founder of the Order Of Light on the planet Earth was
Malchizadek. Actually, he was a Hebraic Priest back before the
birth of Jesus. He taught that all of God’s Creation is based upon
Light, and that once we merge with the Light, we stand beside the
Creator, as co-creators, as sons and daughters of God. He taught
that the Path of Light was the path of love, truth, right thought,
right speech and right action.
“Right thought, right speech and right action will always
reflect love and truth. When in doubt, do nothing except open your
heart to love and truth. There are no conditions on love and truth,
therefore they are considered unconditional. Right thought, is
unconditionally truthful, loving thought is unconditionally loving.”
“I’m not sure I am clear on this unconditional stuff.”
“Love should never be based upon conditions. Like if you do
this or that, I’ll love you. No, if I love someone, I place no
conditions on it. I don’t love them because they are good looking,
or smart or have some other quality that I deem loveable. When
you love, love without condition, love everyone and everything,
every situation, every experience, without establishing conditions.
This also includes yourself and everyone and everything in your
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Kerry Dennis
life. Again, put no conditions on truth. Truth is self-evident. It

needs no explanation, no conditions such as it is true if, or it is
true when. Truth just is, it can not be defined within any specific
parameters.”
“Yes, but there are some things that are true for you and are
not true for me,” I said, confused.
“Yes, but I can accept your truth without invalidating my own,
and I can speak my truth without invalidating yours. You need not
adopt my truth if it doesn’t fit you, and I need not force you to
accept it in order to sustain it’s validity for myself. You see, in the
light of unconditional love, I can accept your truth even if it is
opposed to my own, for I see your light as a child of God, and can
accept your interpretation of life as being as valid as mine. Are
you getting it now?”
“So what you are saying is that everything is true?”
“Yes! Exactly! If God created all things out of His own
substance, and God is Truth and Love, then all that He created is
based in truth and love. Each individual might interpret creation
differently, and some might get caught up in destructive and
distorted interpretations, but it is all still truth, and God uses it all
in the process of revealing His Divine Plan.”
“Yeah, right,” I replied sullenly. “So Mr. Eddy tells me I am
going to burn in Hell because I allowed a man to touch me in a
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carnal way, and that’s true?”

“If that is the only truth you are willing to accept, yes.”
“So there is a Hell?”
“Of course,” she laughed, “but only for those who see it as
true, and then only until they have had an opportunity to access
and embrace a greater truth. Like I said, we are all co-creators
with God, and we can create a hell, if that is our choice, and we
can even go there and experience it, if that is our choice.
Nevertheless, God wishes that no man suffer, and would never
constrain His children to endure an eternity of anything without
ample opportunities to change their minds and their perceptions
of truth. The only things that are truly eternal are Love and Light;
everything else is just games we play while we are growing up.
Once we are grown up we are called to take our place beside
God, as His True Sons and Daughters in the Light.”
“So, love everything and believe everything, huh?”
“Love everything and believe nothing, but accept everything
as part of Gods truth. Embrace everything with love and
acceptance.”
“Sounds like hairsplitting to me,” I said, not sure this was
really my path after all.
“To believe means to be living according to specific
parameters. Remember, truth and love have no parameters, they
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Kerry Dennis
just are. The only Path to truth is one of love and acceptance. Of
course, you can believe whatever you choose, for that is your
right, but when you accept all, and allow the power of Gods love
and light to guide and direct your life, your truth will shine from
within you, and you will be free to attain your full potential without
constraints.”
“So how does one just accept everything and still have a
personality?”
“Because one’s personality is the sum total of all their life’s
experiences, and is not contingent on one’s level of acceptance,”
she replied.
“Okay, so if someone walks up and slugs me and takes my
purse, I’m just supposed to accept it?”
“Yes, with forgiveness. That way you end the cycle of karma
right there. You free yourself and the thief as well.”
“And I don’t even report it to the police, right?”
“Golly, you are a real challenge, aren’t you?” She asked,
frowning.
“I’m sorry, but I really would like to know how it helps anyone
to get away with criminal behavior. I mean, that’s why we have
laws, isn’t? Not just to protect the masses, but to hold criminals
accountable. So how does it help anyone for me to allow this
purse snatcher to just stroll away with my purse?”
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“You are not the masses. You are the one who is ready to
choose a Path. You are the one who is ready to step out and
make a difference. But as long as you hold on to your need to
control your outer world, you will have a difficult time tapping into
the power of the inner one. Jesus tried to tell us. He said if a man
strikes you on the cheek; turn also the other for him to strike. He
was telling us, the only way off the wheel of karma is to stop
retaliating. This is not the path of the common man; this is the
Path of the Initiate. It’s up to you what you want to be.” She
became silent, her face a mixture of irritation and frustration.
“Jeeze, Jeannie, I didn’t mean to upset you,” I said, feeling
embarrassed.
“I’m not upset,” She said, waving the thought aside. “I
apologize for being a bit over zealous. No, it’s your choice, and of
course, because I feel so connected to you; I would like to help
you make that choice. Forgive me.”
“So if I choose this path, then I will need to learn to become
accepting. I will need to learn to forgive instead of get even in
order to get free of my karma, which is what probably keeps me
from taping into the power of my inner spirit.”
“Yes, exactly. You really are ready; you just have to believe
that you can do it.”
“Well, it shouldn’t be that difficult,” I said, “after all, I’ve been
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Kerry Dennis
a victim all my life. It shouldn’t be that difficult to allow people to

walk all over me.”
Jeannie shook her head as if trying to clear cobwebs. “How
do you do that?” She asked. “How do you say something so
perceptive and aware in one sentence, and then follow it with a
sentence of equal passion, where you say something that seems
to come right out of a ghetto mentality?”
“Because even though I can envision it, I can’t see myself
there. I understand the principles behind what you say about
karma, and yet I have been victimized over and over in my life
and I find it difficult to imagine myself allowing someone to attack
me and not doing a thing to stop it and not report it to the police.
You see my dilemma? On the one hand, if I am going to recover
from my abuse, I need to stand up for myself, and I need to help
other individuals to do the same, and on the other, I would like to
find my Path. Maybe this one just isn’t it.”
“And then again, maybe it is,” she said smiling.
“Nevertheless, I am not going to push it. Let me just say that while
you are on this journey, I will be available to assist you if you need
me.”
“Like how?” I asked.
“Like if you need assistance with anything, no matter what it
is, I’m available.”
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“So if I fall off a cliff you will come rescue me?” I asked.
“Hopefully that won’t be necessary, but yes.” She started to
get up, and then as an afterthought took something from her
pocket and handed it to me. It was a purple crystal. “Just hold this
stone in you hand and call my name, if you need assistance.”
Then she got up and let herself out of the tent.
I felt badly about the time I had spent with Jeannie. I know I
had been argumentative and difficult. She was a good person,
and she was trying to help me and all I did was throw up barriers.
Still, I was not convinced that the path she chose to follow was
the one for me. There was no way I could let another person hurt
me, or the family within me ever again, at least not without
attempting to protect myself, and definitely not without reporting it
to the police.
I gathered the sleeping bag and my pack and left the tent
and then began to dismantle it. Sam watched from the sidelines
as I did this, patrolling the parameter of our little valley. Finally,
when I had everything stowed in the pack, I hoisted it on my back
and again began my trek.
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Forty-Seven
The morning was crisp and clear as I made my way up the

mountain. The suns were warm and the breeze was cool as it
wafted through the trees, sounding like waves on the seashore.
This was more of a climb then the previous days trek, and I had to
do a lot of resting. I also discovered that my canteen was nearly
dry and the chances of finding water on this incline seemed to be
slim to none. On the other hand, there might be springs, seeping
out from the lake in the crater at the top. That would probably be
potable water. I listened for the sound of water, but the sound of
the wind in the trees made it difficult to tell if it was just the wind,
863
or a waterfall nearby. I watched Sam, as he roved his way along.

He was never very far away, but sometimes he disappeared from
site. I decided I needed to enlist his help. If either of us were to
find water, I would put my money on him and his superior senses.
I called to him. He was about fifty feet further up the
mountain. He stopped and looked back at me. “Come here, Sam.”
I patted my leg and made a clicking sound, with tongue and teeth.
He regarded me curiously, tilting his head. There was no reason
to assume that just because I chose to call him Sam, that he
knew it was his name. So, I sat down in the middle of the path
and called him again. It might get his attention if he thought I was
disabled.
Sure enough, he came trotting back down, nuzzling me and
checking me over. “I’m ok, Sam,” I said, taking off my pack and
pulling out the canteen. “I just need you to help me to find some of
this,” and then I opened the canteen and poured a little of the
precious stuff into the palm of my hand, so that he could smell it,
taste it maybe. He sniffed it, he licked it, and he looked at the
canteen, chuffing, meowing. I took a drink, and then shook the
canteen, nearly empty. “Gott’a get more, Sam. Help me find
more.” With that I got up and put my pack back on. Sam looked
me up and down, and then bounded back up the mountain. I
hurried to catch up with him.
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Kerry Dennis
After about an hour of strenuous climbing, trying to keep up

with Sam, we came to another valley in the bottom of which was a
pond. That wasn’t too encouraging, for ponds in the wild are
seldom potable unless they are spring fed. Nevertheless, the
chance of it being spring fed, with a lake up there in the crater,
was pretty good.
I slipped and slid down to the bank of the pond, hoping to
stop myself before I fell in. I could smell water, and some organic
decay, but that is common around water. I looked for Sam and
saw him, about fifty feet away, on an angle, standing on a narrow
sandy beach. I inched toward him as he drank. When I got to the
little slice of beach I walked out into the water, which was cold,
meaning it was probably spring fed. I dunked my canteen in and
filled it and then washed my face. It felt invigorating and as I
waded back out I felt refreshed.
As I reached the top of the bank a man with a gun
confronted me. I stuck my hand in my pocket, gripped the stone
that Jeannie gave me and called her both verbally and in my
mind.
“You just stop right there,” he said, waving the rifle at me.
“This is my reservoir and you can’t take the water.”
“Excuse me?” I asked sarcastically. “I don’t think taking one
canteen of water is enough to endanger your supply.” I tried to
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appear unperturbed by the rifle he kept waving at me.

“I let you take some, I gott’a let every Yahoo comes by have
some. You put it back!”
“If I put it back I will die of thirst before I get to another
spring. What’s the deal here, you some sort of rogue Earther?” It
appeared that Kerry was taking over the conversation.
“I don’t gott’a tell you nothin’,” He said, glaring at me. He was
a wiry man of medium height and indeterminate age, with brown
scraggly hair, wearing what appeared to be clothing made from
animal pelts.
“You gott’a be from Earth. First of all you are human and
secondly, you speak English, or a slightly diminished facsimile.
I’m just curious as to why you are living out here all alone. I mean
do you hate people or something?”
“You sure got a mouth on you for someone facin’ the
business end of a gun,” he said, looking at me curiously. “What’s
a little thing like you doin’ out here all alone anyway?”
Suddenly I was truly frightened, all of us were. It was the
way he said little thing like you that alerted me to the possibility
that I might be in danger of something a lot more terrifying than
either having to walk all the way to the lake without water or
getting shot, neither of which were on my list of favorable
outcomes. Then he started toward me with a terrifying grin on his
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Kerry Dennis
face.
“Look,” I said, “I’ll just put the water back and be on my way,
okay?” I began to move back down the bank toward the water.
“No,” he said, emitting a cackling laugh, “I think we will just
work out a trade. You give me what I want, you get to keep the
water.”
“Nope,” I said, opening the canteen. “I’m just gonna give
back the water.” I began to pour its contents back into the spring.
“That ain’t gonna do you no good little lady,” he cackled
again. “You see I got the gun. I think you are gonna give me what
I want.”
“Nope, I’m not,” I said. “If you are going to shoot me, you
better do it.”
“Oh, I will.” He cackled again. “I will shoot you in the foot,
and then you won’t enjoy what I’m gonna give you, little lady, but
you won’t get away either.”
I just stood there, out of options. If he shot me in the leg or
foot, I would be incapacitated and then he could have his way
with me anyway. Where the hell is Jeannie? I asked myself, again
squeezing the stone in my pocket.
“Okay,” I said. “So if I give you what you want, can I refill my
canteen?”
“Naw,” he said, giggling, “you argued with me. I can’t let my
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women argue with me. You will have to be punished for that. No
water. You give me what I want without no more argument and I’ll
let you go. You give me any more mouth and I keep you for a
while.”
“You can’t keep me. I have friends who will come looking for
me. No matter where I am they can find me. If you try to keep me,
they may not take to kindly to that.”
“There ya go mouthin’ off again!” He shouted, waving the
gun more vigorously. “Get up here you little bitch. Move it or I will
put a slug in you so’s it’ll hurt.”
Suddenly, I was transported back though a kaleidoscope of
flashbacks, each more terrifying then the last. Shocks ran through
me as I realized that no one was going to come and help me. I
was in this on my own. There was no way around what would
come next.
I started back up the bank and resigned myself to this
insanity. I was on a Vision Quest, for God’s sake! How could I be
taken prisoner by a sex-starved hermit? Why didn’t Jeannie
come? Didn’t that team who was watching all of this know what
was going on? Is this some sort of test? Or, could this be some
sort of random happening? Is it possible that this could be
unplanned, unexpected?
“What’s your name?” He asked as I got to the top of the
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bank.
I didn’t respond. I just looked at him thinking, what the hell
does he need my name for?
“I asked you a question, bitch! What’s your name?” He
cocked his rifle and held it up to my head. I was thinking do it,
bastard. After a moment he uncocked the rifle and lowered it.
“Aw, what the fuck, I’d pro’bly just call ya bitch anyway. Move it.
That way, bitch.”
He pushed me along until we reentered the forest, and then
he led me into a cave filled with things he had probably taken
from others who were unfortunate enough to wander too close. At
the mouth of the cave was a fire pit and inside were his booty and
a stack of furs that I assumed he used as a bed. Where was
Sam? Why hadn’t Sam attacked this man? Had he marked him in
the past? Where the hell had he gone?
“Strip!” Ordered the man. I just stood there. I wasn’t giving
him anything. If he wanted it, he would have to take it. Finally, he
approached me and tore my backpack off roughly. “You want a
beatin’ too?” He asked.
I just stood there, not wanting a beating, but not willing to
give him anything either.
“Take your fucking clothes off, bitch!” He yelled, cocking the
gun.
869
Still, I just stood there, feeling frozen, feeling totally out of

touch with the danger I was in. And then suddenly, he smacked
me in the face with the back of his hand and I fell to the floor of
the cave.
“Do you want more, bitch, or are you gonna do as yer told?”
The side of my face burned like it had been held to a fire,
and my eyes were tearing from the pain. I decided that I didn’t
really want to be beat up. I had been that rout before and it didn’t
keep me from being raped. I started to unbutton my shirt.
“That’s more like it, bitch,” he said, licking his lips.
I removed my shirt, and then started to undo my jeans when
Jeannie showed up, like a flickering phantom behind the man. I
stopped what I was doing and looked at her, confused by her
phantasmical form. Why didn’t she completely materialize?
“Keep goin’, bitch. Get them jeans off!”
“Jeannie! Help me, please!” I cried, in desperation.
“Ain’t no one gonna help you now, Bitch. If I gott’a take ‘um
off ya, I’m gonna be mean about it,” said the man, moving toward
me. “I’m gonna have ya, one way or t’other.”
“I’m not gonna just accept this, Jeannie. There is no way I
am going to just lay down and be victimized again! You can take
your path of light and shove it!” I yelled as I rushed the guy and
pulled his gun from him, and he stood there surprised and
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confused, looking around for whomever it was I was talking to. I

cocked it and held it to his chest.
“Not today, buddy boy, and I am not a bitch! I am a woman,
with feelings and dreams! I don’t know what your problem is, but I
am not your answer and fucking me isn’t gonna fix your screwed
up life!”
I reached down and picked up my shirt and stuffed it into the
waistband of my jeans, while continuing to hold the gun on the
strange little man.
“I’m gonna go get some water, asshole, and you’re gonna
just stay right here in your little cave and let me, because if I see
you, I’m gonna shoot you, and you better believe I can shoot,
asshole.” Shouted Kerry, in a tone that was both crude and
convincing. I picked up my pack and my canteen and slung them
over my shoulder and started out of the cave, while the weird little
guy just stood there staring at me, incredulously.
I went to the spring and filled my canteen, looking over my
shoulder all the while, making sure he hadn’t followed me. After
filling my canteen I climbed back up the bank and then started
back up the mountain, searching for the path, while along the way
I put my shirt back on. After a few minutes Sam found me and I
followed him back to the path.
I still didn’t understand why he had not tried to tear that guy
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limb from limb. I thought I understood why Jeannie hadn’t helped

me. Suddenly, I hated her. She would have just stood there, in
her fuzzy form, and let that guy rape me, because she believed
that we needed to just accept everything. Well, that wasn’t for me.
I tossed the rifle into the brush as I continued on my way.
My anger seethed as I continued on my trek. I couldn’t wait
to see Aranon again! As soon as I did I was going to tell him that
he could take this Vision Quest thing and shove it. I wanted to go
home! I wanted to go back to Earth where at least it was normal
for people to either take advantage of you or abandon you to the
abuses of others, afraid to get involved, afraid to even
acknowledge the abuse for fear it could come their way as well. If
Jeannie’s idea of acceptance was enlightenment, I didn’t want
any part of it.
As I walked I picked up stones from the path and threw them
at trees with all my might, putting all my anger into them. Sam
gave me a wide berth allowing me my anger, but not abandoning
me again. I still didn’t understand why he had not protected me
from the guy with the rifle.
Who, the heck, was he? Why was he living out here in the
wilds, in a cave, protecting a spring that there was no way he
could own? Almost nothing that had happened this whole day was
logical. From Jeannie in her strange costume, and her crazy ideas
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about acceptance; to the man with the rifle, protecting a spring

that probably few had even found before. Narrowly escaping
being raped. None of it made any sense. Not unless I was on
drugs and in the midst of a hallucination.
As I came over a rise in the path I saw that I had reached the
lip of the crater at the top of the mountain. I stood for a moment,
admiring the beauty of the scene, the trees, the valley below with
a beautiful blue lake in the middle, shining in the late afternoon
sunlight. I searched for a place to pitch my tent.
After pitching my tent I heated a food package and ate while
I watched the second sun slip below the edge of the opposite side
of the crater. Then, before it was completely dark, I foraged for
wood and built a fire, but was unable to light it because I had no
matches. Why hadn’t they given me matches? So many things
didn’t make sense to me at that moment. I sat on a rock and put
my head in my hands, on the verge of tears. I guess I should have
paid more attention to the fire-starting lessons.
“Ready for a fire, I see,” came Aranon’s voice.
I looked up and saw Aranon lighting the fire.
“I want to go home,” I said, angrily, burying my head in my
hands once again.
“Are you saying that you don’t want to complete the quest?”
He asked, seating himself on a rock next to me. He placed his
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hand on my back and I shrugged it off, angrily.

“This isn’t a quest, it’s a freaking nightmare! It’s like a
bummer on LSD. Don’t tell me you don’t know what this is about,
because if there is anything I am certain of, it is that you know
exactly what is going on all the time, so don’t plead ignorance with
me, Aranon!”
“I am not omniscient, Christy. Tell me what has happened.”
He said, gently.
“You know damn well what happened! You and your team
probably orchestrated it for your own amusement. I mean, why
not? Why not have a little fun with the crazy Earther girl, huh?”
“Tell me what happened, Christy,” he urged even more
strongly.
I looked up at him. The firelight shone on his face, which was
awash with concern. Golly he sure could play that part well. Tears
flowed from my eyes as all my illusions of him shattered. I felt that
he too was playing with me, getting some sort of perverse
pleasure in seeing me so distraught. I turned away from him,
feeling lost and abandoned on this strange planet.
“Maybe you are right,” he said. “Maybe we need to call it
quits here and get you back to Anchor Station. Obviously you are
much too upset to continue. It would be too dangerous to allow
you to go on when you are this distressed.”
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I balled up my fists and screamed and then stood and

started pummeling him with them, blind with rage and
disillusionment. After a few well placed blows he grabbed my fists
and held them, looking into my eyes.
“All right, Christy. I can see that you are extremely upset and
I need for you to tell me what has happened. If you refuse, I will
take you back immediately. No argument.” He released my fists
and I sank to the ground by the fire, sobbing.
After a few minutes of deep sobs I began to shout at him
about my day.
“First, a Codger attacked my tent before dawn and almost
killed Sam, but Sam won that fight too. Then Jeannie comes to
my tent at the crack of dawn, looking like a harem girl and talking
all this garbage about acceptance, and if someone hits you on the
cheek you’re supposed to turn the other one and how this is the
only way off the wheel of karma, and how because I am ready to
choose a path, I need to be willing to just accept whatever comes
my way, like some victim that allows themselves to be abused
because they feel powerless to stop it! I won’t do that again! I
won’t ever just allow someone to abuse me, never! Never again!
Not for you, not for Jeannie and not for some God that punishes
people for standing up for themselves, for trying to protect
themselves!” I broke into sobbing again.
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“I don’t think even Jeannie expects you to allow someone to

abuse you and do nothing to protect yourself,” he said, in a
commiserating voice.
“Turn the other cheek, don’t fight back, don’t retaliate, and
don’t even call the police! That’s what she said! Just accept it with
love, she said! Well if that’s the path of light, if that’s
enlightenment, I don’t want it! I refuse to be a victim anymore! I’ll
fight to my last breath to keep that from happening ever again!”
“I’m glad,” he said, gently. “I am glad that you now value
yourself and your life enough to protect yourself and keep yourself
safe. There was a time when you were unable to do that. There
was a time when, if an abuser confronted you, you would have
just frozen up and allowed them to do what they wanted. You
have come a long way, and I am very proud of you.”
“So is that why you sent the crazy guy with the rifle to
attempt to rape me?” I asked, with a bitterness in my voice that I
couldn’t disguise.
“No!” He said, and his whole body went ridged and shock
and maybe even a little anger showed in his face in the firelight. “I
would never have sent someone to do such a thing, and no one
on the team would have either. Tell me what happened, Christy,
please.”
I could hear the honesty in his voice, and the shock, and
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found it difficult to believe it was just an act. Nevertheless, I wasn’t

ready to trust him again, at least not now. Not after what had
happened.
“I found a spring to fill my canteen.” I explained, angrily.
“When I got done filling my canteen, there was a man there, with
a rifle, telling me that the spring belonged to him and that I had to
put the water back. It was crazy! He held the rifle on me, acting
like he would shoot me if I didn’t comply. I stood up to him, or
should I say Kerry did, but this just made him crazier! He forced
me, at gunpoint to a cave where he told me to take off my clothes.
He said he wouldn’t kill me if I tried to run, but he would shoot me
somewhere where it would hurt so bad I couldn’t run away. I was
so scared!
“And Jeannie, she gave me this stone and told me that if I
was in trouble to hold it in my hand and call her, so I did! For the
longest time she didn’t come, and then she was there but not
there, like a phantasm, all shimmery and just watched as he
forced me to take off my clothes, She didn’t do anything! She
didn’t even try to help me!!!” I lapsed once again into deep
sobbing, emptying all of the fear and anger from deep down
inside of me. Aranon got down in the dirt beside me and pulled
me to him, holding me gently, rocking me as I sobbed.
“It’s all right, Christy. Let it out.” He said. “I don’t know who
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that man was, but I intend to find out. I don’t know why Jeannie
didn’t help you, but I intend to find that out too. Did he rape you,
Christy?”
“No!” I cried, angrily. “I got so mad at Jeannie for just
standing there, doing nothing, that I started yelling at her. It
confused the man with the rifle and I was able to grab it away
from him and get out of there! But I was so scared, and so angry!
Even Sam stayed away. Not even Sam protected me from this
pervert!” I sobbed again, remembering the total sense of
abandonment I felt.
“I am very proud of you for taking such good care of yourself.
Did you shoot the man?”
“No,” I said, “but I told him I would if I saw him following me. I
filled my canteen and left and I tossed the rifle in the brush about
a mile from the spring.”
“So you protected yourself, but you didn’t retaliate.”
“Yeah, so?”
“Acceptance doesn’t mean giving in to the whims and
abuses of others, Christy. Acceptance means acknowledging that
terrible things happen, taking the proper steps to protect yourself
and others as best you can, and then moving on with your life
without anger or hatred toward the people and the incidents over
which you had no control. Acceptance means recognizing God’s
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plan in all things and becoming willing to allow that plan to unfold,
working through the hardships and the difficulties with the sure
knowledge that everything is unfolding as it should, no matter how
it looks from your position as a participant.”
“So what happened today was supposed to happen?” I
asked, feeling once again betrayed.
“Was it planed? No. Was it supposed to happen? I can’t say.
I can say that since it has already happened, there is nothing we
can do but look for whatever good might have come from it. And a
lot of good did come from it, in spite of your fear and your anger
and your sense of abandonment while it was occurring. Today
you stepped out of the victim role, Christy, and took back your life.
Today you stood up to an abuser and turned the tables on him.
You could have shot him or injured him but you didn’t. You held
his life in your hands, for those brief moments while you had his
gun trained on him, but instead of causing more harm, you simply
walked away. I have to say that I admire the strength you showed
in doing that.
“You have made a giant leap forward in your recovery
process today. I am disturbed by the fact that you just narrowly
escaped abuse and injury, and I will be looking into who this
fellow is and what he is doing out here in the wild. I am certain
that he is desperately in need of some help.” He gave me a loving
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hug and kissed the top of my head. “You did well today, Christy.
I’m proud of you.”
We sat there for a long time, on the ground in front of the
fire, Aranon holding me. I cried until all the emotion was spent,
and then I just turned my face to the fire and watched as the
flames sent tiny burning embers into the air above it.
“Do you want to go back to Anchor Station?” He asked,
softly, smoothing my hair with his hand, in a gentle and loving
way. “I’ll understand if you do.”
“No,” I said, with a conviction that rose from the depths of
me. “I need to complete this. I need to complete something
meaningful in my life. Just stay with me tonight, Aranon. I’m
feeling really vulnerable.”
“All right,” he said. “The tent is way too small for me though,
so I will just sit out here by the fire. If you need me, I’ll be right
here. Why don’t you go ahead and see if you can get some
sleep.”
“Okay,” I replied, weakly, pulling myself up off the ground. I
pawed through the pack for the sleeping bag and then went into
the tent and crawled into it. Finally feeling safe again, I was
asleep within a few minutes.
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Forty-Eight
I slept fairly well, considering the events of the previous day.

When I awoke I packed up my sleeping bag and emerged from
the tent to find Aranon still sitting beside the dying fire.
“Good morning,” he said way to cheerily for someone who
was up all night. I wondered if he ever slept.
“Morning,” I replied digging through my pack for Anchor’s
version of toilet paper and hurriedly ran into the woods to relieve
myself.
When I returned, Aranon handed me my breakfast; one of
the packages from my pack heated and poured into my kit bowl. It
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was sort of like oatmeal. Not bad though.

“So where is this bridge that I am supposed to cross?” I
asked, as I ate. “I saw it on the map.”
“It appears that you went around it. It seems that when you
left the trail to find water, you bypassed the bridge. Your next goal
is the old hospitality center that was built to feed and refresh the
supplies of those who traveled between Top Side and Segundo
Dome, back when there wasn’t any atmosphere to speak of.” He
handed me what looked like a credit card. “This is the key to the
hospitality center. It has an airlock and an electronic activation
system. When you place this card into the proper slot on the entry
lock, it will turn on all of the systems, from power, to water, to air
filtration.
“There is a synthesizer there from which you can order a
meal of your choosing. We made sure that it was updated with
your preferences and your voice print, so you will have no trouble
using it.” He winked at me. “There is also a shower there, an old
fashioned water shower, where you can luxuriate under a spray of
steamy hot water.”
“That’s enough right there to make me wan’a be there before
night-fall.” I said, imagining the hot water running on the back of
my neck.
“You should be able to make it by then, but don’t push
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yourself.”
“I’m already behind schedule,” I said. “It’s already the third
day and I am not even half way there!”
“Remember, what I told you. It doesn’t matter how long it
takes, as long as you are well and you are willing to keep going.
Everyone on the team knows where you are at the moment, and
so they will not expect you until at least tomorrow night. Don’t
push yourself. Take time to review what you have learned as well
as the struggles you have been through. Also take time to build a
connection with The Source Of All Being. Don’t worry about the
path you will take. When you are ready, it will present itself and
you will be comfortable with it.”
“What if I meet another crazy person?” I asked, still feeling a
little frightened at the thought of reliving what I had been through
the day before.
“Ah, yes,” he said, pulling a polished oval stone, again from
a secret pocket. “Here is my Archanian communicator. Don’t
worry,” he said when I started to ask how he would get my
message when he was giving me his communicator. “I have
another, see?” He pulled another from somewhere and smiled. “If
you run into something that you feel you can’t handle, you call
me. You can even show me what it is by turning the flat face
toward whatever or whomever it is. If you feel that your life is in
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eminent danger, call Remmie and have her teleport you back to
the Anchor rotunda. I know she has the coordinates.”
“Thank you Aranon,” I said, giving him a hug. “Thanks for
believing me and not shaming me for what happened.”
“You just make sure that you don’t shame yourself. You did
what you had to do and you did it with consideration and great
inner strength. I am so very proud of you. Consider the possibility
that it is all right for you to be proud of yourself as well. You found
yourself in a terrifying situation. You took advantage of the
situation as soon as you could and you escaped unharmed, and
without harming anyone else!
“That is quite a milestone, Christy. Think about that. Think
about how far all of you have come, inside. You were able to do
what you did yesterday, because you all helped each other,
especially Kerry, who stood up for all of you, regardless of the
possible repercussions. She is probably the one who told him she
would shoot him if she saw him,” he smiled. “Tell them all how
proud you are of them for helping you through that. You are a
team now. Time to take the next step.”
“Which is?” I asked
“Which is another thing you need to think about and decide
on. When you finish this quest, and are debriefed, it will be time
for you to return to your native position. I am hoping that the
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person who goes back is better equipped to create a better life for
herself and better equipped to find the help that she needs to do
that. Again, Christy, it has always been up to you, but now you
are seeing what that really means. It requires focus,
determination, and love. Think on that.” He kissed me on the
forehead and then got up and strolled into the forest.
I took down the tent and stowed it in my pack, cleaned my kit
bowl with sand and stowed the kit. Then I hefted the pack onto my
back and started walking toward the lake and the hospitality
center. I knew that the lake would disappear from site soon, but
for as long as I could I gazed upon its crystal blue brilliance.
Finally, I entered the forest and everything changed. Now I
needed to pay attention to my surroundings. I was very much
aware that the Nolophan likes to live near water, and the closer I
got, the more I had to be concerned about. They probably
wouldn’t bother me if I kept still, but they might bother Sam. One
had already attacked him. He protected himself really well that
time, but with two or more, he might be in real danger.
Still, it was another beautiful day, the birds were singing and
the sun dappled the path with shifting patterns of light. Again, as I
walked I thought. I thought about what happened yesterday, and
how well it had turned out. And I thought about how badly it could
have gone. But it didn’t.
885
I thought about what the next step was. It probably had to do

with what I was going to do when I got home. I suppose I should
go to school. I should probably take some psychology classes. I
suppose I would like to become a psychologist. But I would be a
different kind of psychologist. I would help people regain their
personal power.
From a short distance away in the forest I heard a loud snarl.
I looked around for Sam, but didn’t see him. Then I heard the
sounds of a catfight, with lots of snarling, growling and loud
piercing cries. I was afraid for Sam. I inched off the path toward
the sounds of the fight.
The closer I got the louder it got and finally, I got down on all
fours and crawled in behind some bushes where I could see what
was happening without being seen. On the other hand, I was
unsure whether I was upwind or down, which was important in
remaining hidden. Animals have a powerful sense of smell. I
licked my finger and held it up. I discovered from the cold side of
my finger that I was down wind, which was just where I wanted to
be.
As I gazed upon the scene I saw several Kretchens in a
rough circle around two that were standing, face to face, their tails
swishing, emitting low growls. I had a feeling that one of the two
was Sam. I didn’t know why he would be fighting with his own
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kind, unless he was attempting to protect me.

Suddenly the two cats launched themselves at one another,
gripping one another with teeth and claws, spinning in mid air and
then rolling on the ground, howling, screeching, growling and
rolling around and around until they were a blur of fur and leaves
and dust. My heart was pounding, for I didn’t know which cat was
which and feared for Sam, whom I had come to love.
After about four or five minutes of this whirling blur of sound
and motion, one of the cats broke away and ran up a tree. Now all
the cats began yowling together, as they stood in a circle around
the winner of the fight. The cat in the middle let loose with a
remarkably loud roar and all the cats became silent. Then, the cat
in the center left the circle and strolled right toward me!
I didn’t know what to do. I knew I couldn’t outrun it, or the
others for that matter, and I knew I was down wind, so it probably
didn’t smell me. I decided to do as the manual said and just sit
very still. Nevertheless, the Kretchen kept coming, and finally,
circling the bush behind which I was hiding, came right up to me,
nuzzled me and purred loudly.
I was sure it was Sam. He had a few scratches, and he was
filthy, but for the most part he seemed to be intact. I gave him a
pet and he leaned into it almost knocking me over.
“Were you protecting my honor, Sam?” I whispered into his
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dusty ear. He responded with a quiet meow. “Can I get out of here
without being attacked?” I asked. He gave another quiet meow.
I got up and started as quietly as I could toward the path. As
I walked, I noticed that the other cats were following and my heart
began to pound. If they all attacked, not even good ol’ Sam could
save me.
Then, one at a time, the cats proceeded to approach me,
and when they did, Sam stopped, so I did too. Then one of the
cats rubbed against me and marked me and then moved on. After
that all the cats, about twenty-five or thirty of them marked me
and then disappeared into the forest. Sam started toward the path
again and I followed. I smiled to myself. Now I didn’t have to worry
about the Nolophans.
After reaching the path and getting back into the rhythm of
the hike, my mind wandered back to what I wanted to do with my
life. What I really wanted was to stay here and be trained to do
what Aranon does, but that was out of the question, because then
my family and my neighbors would be in danger. And I had to go
pretty soon, because Aranon as explained: “The body’s
molecular signature changes, as one’s environment changes. The
longer you stay in a specific environment, the more that
environment becomes a part of your molecular signature. This is
because one’s body is always exchanging atomic particles with its
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environment. Eventually, all of the particles from your previous

environment are exchanged for particles of your present
environment, permanently changing your molecular signature.
Once that happens, you can’t go back, not to the exact spot from
which you were retrieved, or the results could cause a time rift.”
I’m not sure why this is. I will have to ask Aranon.
So, I had to go back, and I had to decide what it was I
wanted to do with my life. Most assuredly I wanted to find help, so
that I could continue my recovery. I also wanted to help other
people find their way to recovery too.
I knew that somehow I had to learn how to help my people,
the people of Earth, and hopefully help my planet to avoid the
approaching catastrophe that will not only wipe out Earth but a
good portion of the surrounding Galaxy. And from what I have
learned during my stay here, I can say with confidence that it is all
about the way people think and what people are willing to believe.
I have come to realize that, for me, religion isn’t the answer.
The answer lies in my willingness to cultivate my own personal
connection with the Source of All Being. This is a personal
journey, based upon my experiences, in this life as well as in past
ones. I am the sum total of all I have ever been.
Once, I was part of the Source. That connection is still within
me. Opening that connection must be an act of free will. But first I
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must believe that it is possible, that it has a purpose, and that it’s
purpose is to assist me in remembering who I really am.
Nevertheless, before that can happen, I have to be willing to
let go of all my childish ideas and all my outmoded and self-
destructive beliefs. I have to be willing to see my part in all of my
pain, all of my traumas, and all the abuse. I have to be willing to
forgive those who have harmed me, and to forgive myself for all of
the harm I have caused in the lives of others.
I am sure that taking back my personal power; both
symbolically and in real life, had helped me greatly. When I
stepped out of the victim role; into the role of an assertive, self-
assured person able to make clear-cut decisions and establish
clear boundaries, and enforce them when necessary; I also
stepped out of my fear and shame. I think that when we feel our
own power, our own inner strength, our fear and shame just melts
away like ice cream in the sun.
I looked up and saw that one of the suns was high in the sky
and decided to take a break and eat something. I also decided
that I wanted to give myself some live food and so I searched in
my immediate area for some of the edible plants that were in my
manual. I found one not far from the path and picked some of the
leaves and put them in my mouth. After about three chews I spit
them out. YUCK! That was the bitterest stuff I’ve ever tasted! After
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that, I decided that one of the food pouches would be just fine,
thank you.
After eating I started out on the path again, hoping to make
the hospitality center before sundown. Nevertheless, before I had
traveled too far I met another individual coming toward me on the
path. I wasn’t sure that I wanted to meet this person, in view of
the experiences of yesterday. I called Sam and he came to my
side, bumping his head against my leg.
The individual had the size and form of an Earther, but this
one was wearing a robe with a hood, like the little gray Sage that I
met on the first day. Maybe Guides and Sages wore robes so
you’d know who they were? As I stood there with Sam beside me,
the individual, possibly a Sage, didn’t seem to be deterred, and
continued to move toward us. Sam let out a low growl but kept his
position.
“I have come to assist you,” said the man, stopping about
ten feet from us. “I will remain still so that you and your Kretchen
might approach me. If your Kretchen accepts me, then I will invite
you to my dwelling for refreshment and discussion.” The voice
was soft and gentle.
“Okay,” I said and started toward him, Sam followed. As I
approached him Sam sniffed him, looked at me and then rubbed
up against him.
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“Will you accompany me to my dwelling?” He asked,

reaching down and petting Sam.
“That depends,” I said. “I have some personal boundaries
that you will have to respect.”
“I agree, tell me what they are.”
“I need to be treated with respect. I am not a sex toy, and I
deserve to be treated as an intelligent human being. You can call
me Kerry, or you can call me Christy, but you may not call me
bitch.” I think I glared at him while I awaited his response. I
wanted him to know that I would protect myself and not back
down.
“I agree to your terms,” he said, bowing, and a hint of humor
traversed his face. “Come, I will take you to my dwelling.” He
turned and started back up the path, as Sam and I followed.
After about a five-minute walk we turned off the path onto
one that was smaller although well worn as it wound through the
trees. After another few minutes we came upon a house made of
stone. It wasn’t a dome, it was more like a normal house, but then
that made sense because this was probably an Earther. He
opened the door for me and I went in, and so did Sam, which
didn’t seem to perturb the Guide. At Least, I supposed he was a
Guide.
“Why don’t you have a seat,” he said, waving at a rustic
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looking couch. The front door entered into the living room of the
house, which was sparsely and rustically furnished. An easy chair
sat perpendicular to the couch. Between the chair and far end of
the couch was a table upon which sat an old fashioned lantern.
On the opposite side of the room was a hearth, which was clean
of all ashes and stacked with a fresh fire build.
I sat down on the couch and Sam lay down on the floor
beside me, once again it seems, taking his job seriously. I still
couldn’t understand why he hadn’t protected me yesterday.
The Guide went into the other room, and shortly returned
with a tray that he set on the table between the couch and the
chair. On the tray were pieces of cake and cups of hot tea. I was
thirsty so I took a cup of tea. The cake looked real, not
synthesized. I took a piece and a small dish to put it on. I sipped
the tea and it was delicious, but I have no idea what kind of tea it
was. The cake was like the crumb cake my mom used to make. It
was good too!
“Thank you,” I said, “this is wonderful cake and the tea is
delicious!”
“I am gratified that you find it pleasing,” He replied, smiling
softly.
“So,” I said, after swallowing a bite of cake with a sip of tea.
“Why am I here with you?”
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“To resolve an inner conflict, maybe?” He asked, his face

pensive.
“I don’t know,” I said. “I suppose I have a lot of inner
conflicts. Nothing comes to mind at the moment. Do you live
here?”
“Yes.”
“Why? Why do you want to live all alone in the woods?”
“Because it affords me the opportunity to do my work.”
“What is you work?”
“I am a Weaver In The Light. I go into deep meditation three
times a day to assist Humanity in uncovering it’s true potential.
Yes, I could do this on Earth, but my time was cut short there, so
they have provided me this space to accomplish my chosen task.”
“Do you think you are having any effect?” I asked, naively.
“I do not do this work alone, and yes, I think that I and my
fellow Weavers In The Light are making a difference.”
“What exactly does a Weaver In The Light do?” I asked.
“We go into deep meditation and hook up with other
Weavers, and then together we build thought forms that will assist
the race of Man in awakening to a greater awareness.”
“What are thought forms?” I asked.
“When I say love, what do you think of? Quick now, mustn’t
think too long about it.”
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“My first thought was of a boy and a girl kissing,” I replied.

“Yes, and that is the prevailing racial thought form for love in
your time. It is difficult, therefore, for the average individual to
visualize love as anything more than a romantic exchange. Can
you visualize love as being something more than a romantic
exchange?”
“Sure,” I said. “I see love as caring, nurturing, unconditional
and accepting. I figured everyone did.”
“No, you are quite unusual for your time. Let me ask you
something.”
“Sure,” I said, feeling very comfortable and accepted.
“Can you visualize love as being in the air you breathe, the
sun that shines on you, the water you drink, the food you eat, and
the experiences you encounter?”
“Yes,” I replied, feeling good about my answer, and then
after a thought flashed through my mind about yesterday, I
amended the response. “Well, I didn’t see it in my experiences
until I came here, to Anchor. And I don’t see it in an experience
that happened yesterday, I mean I would be really hard-pressed
to see any love in that at all.”
“Tell me about the experience,” he said, his eyes probing
me.
I felt uncomfortable discussing it. I could tell Aranon,
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because he had heard worse, but I didn’t know this man. I didn’t
know if telling about the incident was a good idea. I mean I was
out in the wilderness in a rock house with a man that had been
living alone for a long time, it seemed. To discuss it might even be
considered provocative. Being provocative is what led me into my
previous abuses.
“No, I’d rather not. I think we are just gonna have to discuss
this generically.”
“I understand,” he replied, with a knowing look on his face. “I
think I have an idea about what it involved. Although I must say
that there is no need for you to feel uncomfortable or ashamed.”
“Okay,” I said. “Can we move on here?” I was
uncomfortable. I wasn’t ashamed. I just wanted to get on to
something else.
“Your boundaries were a dead giveaway, by the way.” He
smiled and winked.
“Thanks,” I said snidely. “Are you going to honor them?”
“Of course,” he grinned. He had lowered his hood and he
was a very handsome man. Maybe he was in his mid to late
thirties. He had curly blond hair and deep blue eyes. He was
clean-shaven and seemed in good physical shape. “I am here to
guide only. I seek nothing for myself.”
“Oh yeah,” I said, “I’ve heard that one before. Three
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ordained ministers of the faith, two psychologists, a teacher, a

child protective services agent and a medical doctor told me the
same thing. I am sure you can see why I am not anxious to
discuss provocative experiences.”
“Yes,” he replied, as a visage of shock flashed across his
face. “I really do understand.” He shifted position and looked at
me face on. “I am sure that you have become aware of the fact
that continuing to draw unwanted experiences is both behavioral
and karmic, so I won’t go into that. Acceptance and forgiveness
are the next step in putting a stop to these experiences.”
“I got that. I have done the forgiveness thing, and even felt
the weight of my guilt and shame lift from me. In fact, I was led to
believe that I would never have to face abuse again unless it was
my choice. This experience came out of nowhere, for seemingly
no reason. I didn’t draw it by my behavior, it was not my choice to
experience it, but I almost gave into it because of past
experience. I didn’t deserve that and I find it difficult to accept it.”
“No, you didn’t deserve it, at least not on this level and
therefore, you found it difficult to accept.”
“So you are saying that on some other level, I drew it to
myself?”
“How could it be any other way? The law is, we only draw to
us what is ours.”
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“Why would I draw that? I had made a pact with myself

never to go back there again. We were told that we were released
from our karma as long as we didn’t go back there again. We had
gone through all of our experiences and had forgiven those who’d
hurt us. We had forgiven all our abusers, from the beginning, and
accepted the truth that we had generated our own abuse
throughout all our lifetimes by our behavior, by our mistaken
beliefs. What more IS there? Does this just go on and on?”
“Sometimes, you are not the originator of the experience.
Sometimes things happen that are not your karma. How you
handle them determines whether or not they will become your
karma.”
“I was told that I handled it well. But I still see it as lacking in
love.”
“Ah,” he said, and his face lit up with the realization that we
had come full circle. “Did you learn something valuable from the
experience?”
“Yes,” I said truthfully. “I learned that I could stand up for
myself and take my power back. I learned that acceptance
doesn’t mean letting people take advantage of you. I learned that
it is okay to protect myself.”
“Then there was love in the experience,” he responded.
“Love comes from the Source of All Being. The more we are open
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to the Source the more we are open to the Love that flows
through our lives from the Source. Love guides and protects, Love
moves away from violence into forgiveness. Love also teaches
and tests. Love nurtures, even as it tests and teaches. Love also
sends support, as well as expansion of awareness, to the degree
that we are willing to expand our awareness, through acceptance
and forgiveness.”
“So the key to my feelings about yesterday, are forgiveness
and a willingness to accept to an expansion in awareness?”
“You are a very quick study, my lady. Are you willing?”
“Well sure!” I exclaimed. “I just want to get past this fear. I
really want to be done with it, you know?”
“Will you pray with me?”
“Jeeze, I donno, I’m not a praying type person. Is it
mandatory?”
“Of course not. What you need to do is to visualize the love,
the acceptance, and the forgiveness in the experience. When you
have completed those visualizations, in your own mind, driven by
the convictions of your own heart, and have accepted the lesson
and opened to the flow of Love through your life, a new
awareness will become apparent to you.”
“Okay, I’ll do that. Do you mind if I just think about this and
look at it all in my mind for a while? I mean not talk or discuss
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anything, just sit quietly?”

“Of course. I call that meditation. I will join you.”
“Okay,” I replied, closing my eyes. I looked at the incident as
though it was not a planned event.
I realized that I didn’t generate the circumstances either
through my thoughts or my actions. I realized that I had the power
to stop the karma right here. All I had to do was to forgive the
man, realizing that his mind was disturbed, and his choices were
based upon his distorted reality, which in turn was based on his
distorted past experiences. I visualized an injured child,
abandoned by those he trusted, and treated with impersonal
precision by those assigned to managing his life since then. I
imagined that he had been hurt, deeply. I realized that his threat
of sexual abuse grew out of his distortions and not simply
because he was evil. I could see myself forgiving him, hoping that
he got help, caring about his welfare. I opened to the Love and
focused it on him. I let it flow through me, to him. I visualized him
lighting up with that love and finding forgiveness within himself, as
I had.
Then the Love began to pour through me, filling me,
cleansing me of fear and anger, releasing me from any further
karma with this man and opening me to the vision of a time when
individuals are assisted in ending the cycle of abuse through an
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understanding of forgiveness.
Then I saw another vision. A vision of world powers and their
armies refusing to retaliate, willing only to contain violence and
assist the wounded, and the dispossessed in obtaining what they
required to survive, what they required to create a meaningful life.
In this vision I saw that there would come a time when life
becomes more precious than honor. There will come a time when
Humanity is more interested in helping one another than in
dominating one another. I saw all of this in the time it takes to take
a breath. I opened my eyes and saw the Guide nodding and
smiling.
“I believe you have connected with the meaning of Love and
the progression of truth,” he said.
“I know that I connected with hope for Humanity.” I replied. “I
think I have a better understanding of Love.”
“Come,” he said, smiling brightly, “I will show you back to the
path you were following.”
He got up and replaced his hood and started for the door. I
got up and followed. He led Sam and I back to the path to the
hospitality center. The suns were getting low in the sky. I was
concerned that I would not make it before dark.
“You will reach your destination in less than an hour if you
keep to this path.” He smiled and then gave me a proper hug. “Go
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with Love.”
902
Forty-Nine
As I walked along the path I thought about my experience

with the human Guide. I thought about the vision I had, where
humanity decides to help one another instead of dominating one
another. I wondered if this was a thought form and if the Guide
had given it to me so that I could join in and help build that
tapestry of light that the Weaver’s In the Light are working on. I
decided that I would keep visualizing that picture and filling it with
my love and hope, and that I would work toward bringing it about
throughout my life.
As I walked I could see glimpses of the lake through the
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trees, sparking blue and expanding beyond my vision through the

trees. The wind had picked up and the trees were roaring
overhead, and the sun was sitting on the horizon, glaring into my
eyes. As I continued to follow the narrow path, I could see a
building in the distance. This had to be the Hospitality Center. I
had made it, and before sunset too!
When I was just a short distance away, I took off my pack
and pulled out the flashlight so that I could find the card that turns
on the lights and opens the doors. As I was searching, the lights
came on. This didn’t seem to be a good sign. I packed up my stuff
and moved to the cover of the trees. I didn’t know what to do,
other than just wait and watch. Sam joined me in my vigil.
After about five minutes, the door opened and Aranon
stepped out. “Christy? Are you out there?”
I stepped out from behind the trees and started toward him
feeling both relieved and upset at the same time. “You scared the
heck out’a me!” I said as I approached the light. “Why give me a
key if you didn’t intend for me to use it?”
“First of all, I discovered that the key you received probably
won’t work, but lets try it and see, Okay? I’ll go inside and shut
everything down and you try the card.” He stepped back inside
and turned off the power. I tried the door and it was locked. I
pulled the flashlight and the card from my pack and tried it in the
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Kerry Dennis
slot beside the door. Nothing happened. I turned the card over
and tried it again, nothing. I turned it around and tried again,
nothing. I knocked on the door. The lights went on and the door
unlocked with a snick. I opened the door and went inside.
“You were right, it doesn’t work,” I said. “Thanks for being
here to open up for me.” Sam and I entered into a long hallway.
It was warm and bright inside the Hospitality Center. It had a
large kitchen, dining room and several bedrooms. The furniture
ranged from large to small, and there was a build for a fire in the
hearth at the end of the dining room.
“You’re welcome,” he said as he lit the fire. “I felt you would
be really disappointed if you didn’t get the opportunity to
synthesize the meal of your dreams.” He looked up and smiled as
flames licked up from the kindling in the hearth. He tossed a log
on when the kindling was going well and closed the fancy brass
fire screen.
“Not to mention the chance to take a real shower and to
sleep in a bed for the first time in days!” I added, feeling happy to
see him. “I met another Guide today. He was human, and he was
nice.”
“Oh, good! What did you talk about?” He pulled two chairs,
one large and one small, in front of the fire. “Have a seat and tell
me about it.”
905
“I told him my boundaries when we met on the road, and he

agreed to treat me with respect and to not call me bitch.”
At this point Aranon laughed so loudly that it started me.
“What’s so funny?” I asked, taken aback by his reaction.
“Oh, Christy,” he said, calming himself. “I find the thought of
that confrontation very humorous. It’s all right, it’s not that you did
the wrong thing by establishing your boundaries, but your choice
of words...” He continued to chuckle.
“So how was I supposed to make sure that he was safe to
be with?”
“Boundaries are generally established through questions.
You find out about the individual, who they are, what they want,
what they are doing there. If the individual is either vague or
overly demonstrative, you avoid them, as they are either unable
or unwilling to communicate their intentions or they have a hidden
agenda which may or may not be based in the best of intentions.”
“On the other hand, if they sneak up behind you and hold a
gun on you, none of that will be of any value. In fact it will
probably irritate the gun wielder.” I replied, feeling disheartened
that I had done the wrong thing and needing to express my
frustration. Then, I realized that what I had said probably wasn’t
such a good idea. “Saying I am not a sex toy and telling him not to
call me bitch, sure could make a lonely man think about things I’d
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Kerry Dennis
rather he didn’t, wouldn’t it? Jeeze, in my effort to protect myself, I

was provocative instead.”
“It takes time to learn a new way of thinking and interacting
with people, especially strangers. You did the best you knew how
at that time. The Source knew that and sent you a benign being
who was willing to allow you your boundaries.” He smiled at me. “I
think you will be needing two more days to complete your quest.”
“I had hoped that I would be completing it tonight, but I am
only half way aren’t I?” This made me feel even more
disheartened. I guess my face showed it.
“You do have the option of completing it here and now,” He
replied, looking me in the eye.
“I’m really tempted. I need to prepare to go home. I’m past
most of my fear, and I have discovered a lot about myself and I
think it’s time I went home.” I looked right back at him.
“Okay. Would you like to return to Anchor station?”
“Do you think I got what I needed from this? Please tell me,
honestly. I really value your opinion.”
“Yes. I do.” He nodded and gave me a questioning look. “Do
you feel you have?”
“I feel I have completed what I needed to do. If I stop now it
won’t be admitting failure, would it?”
“No, you have definitely not failed. If you stop here, you have
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completed what you set out to do as far as I’m concerned.”

“Can we stay a while?” I asked. “I love this place, the fire, the
rustic atmosphere. I still haven’t had my dream dinner yet.”
“Absolutely!” He replied, chuckling. “We’ll go when you’re
ready.”
I got up and programmed a meal of Southern fried chicken,
mashed potatoes and gravy and green peas. I carried my meal to
the table and sat down to eat it. As I was eating, Sam began to
meow.
“Well of course! I need to give you your dream dinner too!” I
got up and programmed the same thing for Sam. When it arrived I
set it down on the floor for him. It was hot but that didn’t seem to
deter him from grabbing a piece of chicken and darting into a
corner to eat it.
I resumed my meal as Aranon sat, seemingly resting, by the
fire. When I finished I joined him, and then Sam joined us curling
up on the rug in front of the fire. The picture would probably be
something of a cross between a Norman Rockwell painting and a
Bizarro comic strip.
“So what did you learn from the guide you met today?”
Asked Aranon.
“I learned to see the love even in what happened yesterday.”
“That will be a valuable capability as you resume your life
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Kerry Dennis
back home,” he smiled. His eyes were closed. “They found the
man, by the way, and he is getting some much needed
assistance.”
“How did he get out there? Had he been treated at Anchor
station? Didn’t it take?”
“Actually, he was among a group of new arrivals that were
being taken on a tour of Top Side, and he escaped from the team.
He is going to get the help he needs and he will be given every
opportunity to complete his reorientation. Still, it’s his choice. If he
chooses not to complete the reorientation process, he will be
placed on one of our colony planets, to live out his life in a semi
supervised settlement. Nevertheless, we will continue to attempt
to help him.”
“I’m glad to hear that. I was hoping that he would get help. Is
there any chance I can talk to him before I go?”
“You would be willing to do that?” He asked, his eyes
opening wide, obviously taken aback by my statement.
“Yes. I need to tell him that I forgive him and that I hope that
he lets you help him.”
“That would be wonderful, Christy! I am certain that doing
that will help him to choose a better life.”
“That would be neat, wouldn’t it? I mean, if I could make a
difference in someone else’s life?”
909
“Yes, Christy, it would. You have a lot to offer to others. I am

hoping that you will choose a path that gives you the opportunity
to help others. I know you would be very good at it.”
“I wish I could stay here and learn what you do, Aranon.” I
looked into the fire as a tear slid down my cheek. I always
seemed to want the impossible. “Can’t you pick me up, like, on a
given day and time, away from everything, so there wouldn’t be
any witnesses? I mean, can’t you just come get me after a while?”
“It’s possible. It would have to be presented to the
Brotherhood. It is not something we ordinarily do.”
“No, because everyone you work with here has to stay
whether they like it or not. And the one’s that you send back,
they’ve been trained and are supposed to function on their own.
But I was an accident. I think I deserve special consideration.”
“You could be correct. Nevertheless, it will have to be
presented to the Brotherhood, and that could take a fair amount of
time.”
“Oh, come on, Aranon! Time doesn’t mean anything to the
Brotherhood! You guys can go anywhere, any when. Just give me
a date and time. We can decide on a place. I can come back and
get trained to do what you do.”
“More likely, you will come back to complete your
reorientation, and then get training,” He smiled and winked.
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Kerry Dennis
“I’d agree to that, as long as I could go visit Remmie now

and then. And, as long as you were my facilitator.” I smiled and
winked back.
“That is a given,” he smiled. “Once your facilitator, always
your facilitator.”
“Can we spend the night here? I’d like to go to sleep in a
bed, listening to the wind in the trees and smelling the scents of
nature.”
“Like I said, whenever you are ready to go we go. I think
spending the night here would be a great idea. Then, I can tell
you the history of Midway, which is what the Hospitality Center
was once called.”
“I’d like that,” I replied, smiling. “Why was Segundo Dome
built?”
“Because a specific mineral deposit was found near there,
and in order to mine it properly, we needed a place for the miners
to live. In fact, the mine is still functioning but now we have other
means through which to connect Segundo with Top Side and
Alpha Domes.”
“Was there any atmosphere when Midway was built?”
“Very little which is why there are airlocks at each of the
entryways. They are no longer necessary, of course, but back
then they were. As the atmosphere became more and more
911
breathable, Midway became more of a tourist center than just a

place to pick up supplies and take a rest before continuing on to
Segundo. That was when an Earther built the fireplace and
replaced the airtight view ports with windows that could be
opened. He promoted it as a vacation resort, bringing in
entertainment and Chefs who created some of the most delicious
cuisine on the planet.”
“So you didn’t have synthesizers back then?” I asked.
“Yes, but the chefs would only synthesize the basic
components of the recipes that they developed, in the raw. Then
they would cook them in the traditional Earther way, combining
ingredients and cooking them together so that the food took on
flavors that were astounding! No matter how hard we tried, we
could not duplicate the flavors of that food with a synthesizer. For
a while this was the hottest tourist site on the planet.”
“What ended it?” I asked.
“The Earther who started it all was transferred to another
site, where his talents were needed. Unfortunately, he had never
trained anyone to take his place. There was no one who knew
how to run a resort and manage the chefs and the cuisine. It was
sure wonderful while it lasted though!”
“Surely, with all of the people that you have transferred to
Anchor there must be someone else who would know how to do
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Kerry Dennis
this. Why haven’t you encouraged someone else to try their hand
at it?”
“So far we have found no one who had Jake’s capacity to
develop recipes, manage the Chefs, manage entertainers, keep
track of the maintenance, and advertise in a way that drew people
out of the domes in spite of their fear of the wild. We have a
difficult time convincing newcomers as well as seasoned
residents of the domes to explore the planet and enjoy the beauty
and the challenge of the wilder portions of the Anchor. So many of
those we transfer these days find it difficult to give up their
conveniences in order to enjoy the more rustic parts of the
planet.”
“You know, I have a feeling that the guy who threatened to
sexually molest me has some of those qualities. You might
consider pointing him in that direction once he completes his
reorientation. He could be a wildlife guide and a survival teacher
as well. I mean obviously he was out in the wilds for some time
before you became aware of him. As far as survival is concerned,
I know he has it together. I don’t know if he knows anything about
cooking, but he could sure teach survival classes and lead groups
through the forest. This could become a half way point again for
survival classes, you know?”
“That’s an intriguing idea,” he replied, with a gentle smile. “I
913
am encouraged by the fact that you would think of him in such a

way as to assist in channeling his talents like that. It tells me that
you have dealt with the experience in an enlightened frame of
mind and desire only to assist him, instead of simply retaliating
against him for what he did to you. It tells me that you have come
a long way.”
“I have come to see the love in what happened. What he did
is just part of who he is at this time. I am sure that when he can
see beyond his own traumas and distortions he will be a very
special person. I understand now that he is only driven by his
past. How long was he out there, surviving in the wild?”
“I am sorry to say that it has been nearly fifteen years. It
would seem that we would have found him by now, doesn’t it?”
“Wow!” I exclaimed. “Fifteen years! Golly, what survival skills
he must have! He avoided the Nolophans, the Molshics and the
Codgers. He must have learned what is edible, and he must have
gotten close to the Kretchens, for they are the only ones who
could have protected him. Which explains why he was able to
survive so long and probably why Sam didn’t protect me from him.
Sam has probably marked him, and maybe even given himself to
him as he did to me. Maybe he was a native of this planet, in a
former life, as I was.”
“Now there is a possibility,” replied Aranon, grinning. “I will
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keep that in mind.”

“So,” I said, “there must be something that happened that
scared everyone into not coming back out here. What was it?”
“Your capacity for perceiving things beyond what is offered,
what is apparent, is unique,” he said, with a solemn face. And
then nodding he said; “Yes, there was a series of events that
finally sealed Midway’s fate.”
“Was it less than fifteen years ago?” I asked.
“Ah,” he said. “You are making connections that we were
unable to make back then. As a matter of fact yes. There were a
lot of strange occurrences at that time, and yes, it was about
fifteen years ago when the occurrences began.”
“What happened?”
“Well, first, things began to disappear from the patrons
luggage, and then female visitors and children began to disappear
from the center, and their bodies were never found. We assumed
that the disappearances were the result of wild animals that were
encroaching on the area. You see when Jake was here, he spent
a lot of time communing with the animals and offering them food
on a regular basis, so we assumed that when he was no longer
meeting their needs, that they began to target patrons to meet
them. Now, there is an alternative explanation for the
disappearances.”
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“Oh my,” I said. “I hope it wasn’t the guy that attacked me! I
hope he didn’t create that kind of karma for himself!”
“It is quite possible that it was him, and from what we found
in his cave, it would seem that he has been collecting things from
unwary travelers for some time. Nevertheless, he has the
opportunity to free himself from his past distortions, if he is willing
to complete reorientation.”
“But, won’t he have to stand trial for what he did?” I asked.
“His reorientation will be his trial, and his punishment will be
the pain and the remorse he will feel in contacting those
transgressions with the full knowledge of what he did.”
“But don’t you have the death penalty for those who abuse
and kill others for their own pleasure?”
“For what purpose? If he works through the karma of those
experiences, and is aware that at some point he will have to
undergo experiences that compare with those he perpetrated,
what would be the point? We will be assisting him in recognizing
and experiencing the pain that he has caused others. The pain
that he will have to undergo in order to bring balance to his karmic
debt will be more than enough. Why would we want to become
involved in his karma?
“To get it over with, so that in his next life he could move on
to better things?” I asked.
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Kerry Dennis
“Ah, but he may have the capacity to get on to better things

in this life, why generate even more Karma?”
“I thought that if someone killed someone, and was put to
death for that crime, that their karma was taken care of.”
“No, if I harmed you, and someone else harmed me in
response to that, then the one who harmed me would be
responsible for that karma, and I would still be responsible for the
karma I generated with you. The death penalty only serves to
assuage the pain of the survivors of those who have been
harmed. It doesn’t fulfill the karma. Karma is a one-on-one thing.
It requires that an individual repay their debt to only those they
owe that debt to. A state execution cannot balance an individual’s
Karma. A saying on your planet covers this with a truth that many
are unable to connect with. Two wrongs don’t make a right.”
“So those who are put to death for murder still have a karmic
debt to the one they killed?”
“Yes. You see, Nature, Natural Law states that for every
action there is an equal and opposite reaction in order to maintain
balance. The only way out of the action-reaction cycle is to add
the spiritual components of unconditional love and forgiveness.
Ending the cycle depends on the willingness of the victims to
forgive. When the State steps in and punishes the perpetrator, it
doesn’t end the karmic cycle, but, in fact, it broadens it.
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Governments who enforce the death penalty generally have ever

increasing crime rates, when compared to those who do not. The
reason for this is that past life perpetrators are continually drawn
into the system in an effort to balance the scales. The result of
this practice is an ever-growing, evermore violent criminal
community.”
“Jeeze, that is exactly what is going on in my country today,
or at least the today that I was in before I came here.”
“It will get much worse before your criminal system changes.
It will take someone who understands the principles of karma to
develop a criminal education program that will make a significant
enough difference to be adopted by the system. It will happen, but
it will not happen for a while, in your time.”
“What will it take to bring it about?” I asked thinking I might
somehow be able to help it along when I got back.
“The realization that all criminal behavior is evidence of
mental illness; the enactment of congressional bills that address
the basis of mental illness and proven recovery methods.
Statistics on pilot programs that are presently running in a few
maximum-security prisons and are highly successful in generating
major emotional and mental shifts in the participants. The
realization that inmates who graduate the program must be
released together and kept together so that they can continue to
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Kerry Dennis
nurture and support one another in outside situations. The

recognition that there is a need to establish public self-help
centers where rehabilitated offenders can assist those who are
caught in the web of offending and get paid for it. What is needed
are those who are willing to take a chance on establishing
foundations and corporations based on utilizing the skills of these
graduates in curbing the tide of crime and the thought processes
that generate crime. Who should know best other then those who
have been there, those who have done those things?”
“I see your point. In Phoenix, there is this place called Terros
that is staffed by people who are rehabilitated drug users. I used
to volunteer there for a while.”
“These are the kind of things that will curb the crime. That
and making child care mandatory. When all children are raised in
a common environment, filled with love and support from those
who truly desire to raise and support children, the children will
excel in the humanities, and this will eventually put an end to most
crime.”
“Most crime?”
“For some time there will continue to be those who have
become emotionally and spiritually twisted. Eventually, there will
be a racial expansion in consciousness, and again, children will
be reared by their birth parents and still excel. But there will be
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great turmoil until then.”

“This is in my future?” I asked.
“Until you step back into it, yes. Once you rejoin the flow of
life, the flow of time, things will change. You have learned much
here, and that’s bound to be noticed at some point, by someone.
When that happens, things will change. You will be there, so you
won’t see it like I will.”
“How will you see it?” I asked.
“As a beautiful ripple of light, flowing across space and time,
shifting and changing the thought-forms and events that could
have been and yet, because of your insight and your
determination, are soon to be forgotten. I see you as making a
difference.”
“I don’t know,” I said, “I still have a lot to work through.”
“But what I envision says you will, and that in doing so, you
will make a difference.”
“But this is just your vision, not reality at this time, huh?” I
looked at him sideways thinking he was just trying to make me
feel important.
“No one can know what will be until you are returned to your
native position. Even what appears to be the future will change, if
you make a difference. I believe that you will make a difference.”
“Well, don’t be too disappointed if I don’t provide you with the
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Kerry Dennis
desired light show,” I said. “I think I will take a shower and go to

bed. Good night Aranon.”
I got up and let Sam outside for the night. Then I wandered
down the hall that I had investigated earlier. I stopped at the room
that I had chosen and dropped my pack on the floor by the bed. I
pulled out a change of clothes and went in search of the
bathroom.
Upon finding the bathroom I enjoyed using the facilities, and
stood for more than fifteen minutes under a hot shower, letting the
pulsing water relieve all the pains and release all the kinks from
my muscles. After dressing I went back to the room I had chosen.
I closed the door and then drew back the covers and fell into
the bed, fully clothed. The covers were almost as warm as my
sleeping bag! I fell asleep listening to the wind and smelling the
rain that approached on the wind.
921
Fifty
The next morning after breakfast Aranon led me to a vehicle

that he had stashed behind the Hospitality Center. From there, we
started out for Segundo, because Aranon said that it was closer
than Top Side. This made me feel good because, in a way, I
would be completing my trek even though I got to ride in a vehicle
for the last third of it. We took the path I had been following,
having been made for vehicles much like this one. Nevertheless,
it was a bumpy ride and in some places the path was almost
impassable, but we always seemed to make it through.
Sam followed us most of the way but as we came over the
last rise on our way down to Segundo he disappeared. I felt sad
about that because I never got to give him a proper goodbye.
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Kerry Dennis
I could see Segundo from the top of the mountain, but as we

got down into the trees again, I lost site of it. It was at least as
large as Top Side. I was starting to get antsy, wanting to be there
already, like a little kid on a vacation. Are we there yet?
“I assume they know we are coming?” I stated.
“The team?” He asked, swerving to miss a large bolder that
had rolled onto the path. “Yes, they know. Feeling anxious to get
back?”
“Yeah, I guess I am.”
“Have you given any thought to what you want to do when
you get back to your native position?”
“I know I want to help people. I suppose I will go back to
school and get a degree in psychology. It all depends on whether
I can work for my dad or not. Before I can do anything I will have
to get a job.”
“Sounds like you took my advice and gave it some thought.
I’ll be keeping tabs on you, you know.”
“Oh yeah? Why don’t you just give me a date and time, like I
said, and pick me up? Then you won’t have to worry about me.”
“First of all,” said Aranon, slowing. “I will not be worried
about you, I will be keeping tabs on you. There is a difference.
Second, I would like nothing better than to drop you off and then
come right back and pick you up in a harmless fashion.
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Unfortunately, I can’t do that. We have to see how your

reinsertion affects the time line and future events. If it causes
significant changes, then we will have to leave you there, because
you will be a necessary component in that change.”
“Maybe things change, because you come and get me in a
month, and then return me after a month on your side, to my
native position. Then you come back and get me again in another
month and you keep this up, you know, until I have a handle on
who I really am and what I am all about. My family would see a
rather dramatic change, but it wouldn’t be too dramatic.
Personally, I think that’s what’s supposed to happen.” I gave him
a playfully smug look and then stuck my tongue out at him. He
laughed.
“Hmm, you present what appears to be a workable plan
there. I think that you should present it to Dorn.” He grinned back
at me.
“Well then, I will. I know I am not ready yet to do any great
things. I’m still working on getting everyone in my system on the
same page. I don’t know how long it will take for me to work
through my remaining emotional problems, but I am aware that
they are not gone yet. If I am going to make any kind of
difference, I am going to need help in working through my
disability. I don’t know how long that will take back on Earth, but I
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Kerry Dennis
am pretty certain that I will not be able to get the help that I would
be able to get here. I mean, what if I can’t get the help that I need
until I am in my fifties? Look at all the good I could have done if I
had gotten it now, in my twenties.”
“You make a good case,” He said, smiling, and then he gave
me a wink.
“Does that mean that Dorn might go for it?” I asked,
hopefully.
“I don’t know, but I certainly would,” he chuckled.
I smiled to myself, and visualized Dorn agreeing as well.
Suddenly, I felt more relaxed, more confident. I knew I was not
going to be abandoned back on Earth. I knew that I would
continue to get opportunities to get help and to grow.
At this point we emerged from the forest onto a grassy
plane, and the Segundo Dome loomed large on the horizon.
Shortly after that we pulled on to what looked like a highway
leading to the dome. In less than five minutes we were there,
traveling at speeds that exceeded any freeway speeds on earth.
Aranon pulled up to the airlock and a guard came out and got into
the vehicle as we got out. He drove it away as Aranon and I
entered Segundo Dome.
“Why don’t we stop for lunch before going back to Top
Side?” Said Aranon, as he led me through the Segundo Town
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Square.
“You mean like at a restaurant? Why would you have
restaurants when everyone can get exactly what they want from
their synthesizers?”
“Sometimes people want to be with other people, meet with
friends, or find new friends. Sometimes people like to gather and
share one another’s victories. It is a common practice in most
sentient societies.”
“I’ve never thought about it like that,” I said. “I guess you’re
right.”
He led me to what looked like an old English pub. It looked
as though it was mostly made of wood; the door was thick wood
with four small panes of glass in it. Inside it was dimly lit, with
defused light. I could see that there were many people inside, but
I couldn’t see an available table. I figured we would have to wait
to be seated, but Aranon led me through the crowd of people and
to a table on what appeared to be a raised platform. We stepped
up and rounded the table and Aranon pulled out a chair for me.
Suddenly the lights went up and everyone in the room stood
applauding and cheering. Then a spot light shone on me and
everyone sang a unique version of ‘For He’s A Jolly Good Fellow’.
For Christy’s A Jolly Good Quester
For Christy’s a jolly good Quester
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Kerry Dennis
For Christy’s a jolly good Quester

That, nobody can deny!!
I must have looked like the proverbial deer in the headlights.
I certainly was not expecting a surprise party. I mean, well, I didn’t
walk the entire distance. I was still struggling with my sense of
failure. Nevertheless, here were all these people, giving me a
party. At least I had come to believe it was for me.
“I think about now you might want to say something,” Aranon
whispered in my ear when the singing stopped.
“I’m still not convinced that I deserve this, but I really want to
thank all of your for your support and your kindness.” I sat down in
my chair, folded my hands in my lap and looked out at the people
in the room.
Aranon pulled out his chair and sat down. “Well, that was
brief,” he said, smiling a gentle smile. “What would you like to
eat?”
“A Cheese burger and potato chips.” I said, not really giving
it much thought. I suppose the request came from someone else
inside, probably Lynn. I smiled at my vision of her trying to get her
mouth around an old-fashioned cheeseburger.
“Coming up,” he said, picking up a device that looked like a
mini telephone from a cradle on the table and ordered my
cheeseburger and the same thing for himself. That surprised me.
927
“I thought you were vegetarian,” I said.

“I am. There is no meat in the burger it just tastes like it. I am
curious about the taste, and I don’t think I have ever experienced
potato chips.” He grinned. “So you are still unconvinced that you
deserve a party?”
“Well, it’s nice. I’m just not sure I really finished it, you
know?”
“Yes, I know, this has been bothering you since last night.
But here you are, in Segundo, having dinner at The Boar’s Head,
surrounded by your friends and supporters, even though you
haven’t met many of them. You completed what you set out to do,
which was to go on a vision quest and reclaim your personal
power. It was to take three to four days, and would end here, at
Segundo. I think you completed the parameters of your quest and
then some.” He put his arm around me and gave me a gentle hug.
“I guess so. I just feel as though I’m coping out. Like I should
have walked the distance.”
“Would you like me to take you back up there so that you
can walk down?”
“No.” I replied, sullenly.
“Why not?”
“Because I have decided to go back. I’ve decided I need to
get on with my life. And I want to talk to Dorn about my plan, so
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Kerry Dennis
that I can get on with my life while still obtaining the help I need to
be successful at it.”
“I think your quest continues. I think you have completed this
part of it, by reclaiming your personal power and taking your life
back. Your tenacity about remaining here, studying here, and your
desire to work with us to assist your society, already has Dorn’s
attention. I am certain that he will see the feasibility of your plan.
And of course I will recommend that he give it a try,” he winked.
“Thanks Aranon,” I smiled at him, grateful that he was
supporting me and my decisions.
At this point our cheeseburgers were served, and I could feel
Lynn right there, her little hands just beneath mine as I picked it
up and took a bite. She rolled my eyes and then we grabbed
some chips, stuffed them in our mouth and was in heaven.
“Um,” said Lynn, a look of sheer joy on her face.
“Yes,” replied Aranon, “it is quite tasty.” He smiled at her.
She smiled back and batted her eyes at him.
Then someone tinked a piece of silverware against a glass
and the room became quiet. A woman stood up and faced the
table where Aranon and I sat.
“My name is Valerie Hutchinson, Christy and I would like to
say that to me you are an inspiration and I feel really honored to
be a part of the team that facilitated your Quest.”
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“Thank you, Valerie,” I replied, putting down the

cheeseburger. “Can I ask you why you feel that I am an
inspiration?”
“Well, with all that you have been through in your life, and
then to be attacked while on your quest, and your willingness to
continue and to forgive the man, I mean, it’s really awesome.”
“I guess I am sort of an open book to these people, huh,” I
said to Aranon, quietly.
“Yes,” he replied around a bite of burger, while nodding his
head.
“Thanks again, Valerie. I appreciate the support you have
given. What did you do, by the way, as part of the team?” I asked.
“I was one of the ones who monitored your whereabouts.”
She replied.
“And how was it that you were unable to monitor my
whereabouts when I was being attacked?”
“I’m glad you asked that,” she replied, smiling. “I am sure
that you would like to know why that happened. We didn’t know
until today what caused that gap in our reception. You see, Mr.
Kruger is a rather gifted electronics expert. He knew that we could
find him by doing bioscans, so he built an instrument that
scrambled all bioscan probes for a radius of about a quarter mile
around his cave. When you left our scan, we searched for you,
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Kerry Dennis
but because you were within the radius of the scrambler, we saw
nothing. It was as if you had either disappeared or teleported. We
actually didn’t know what to think. We sent someone to look for
you using another method, but she was unable to assist you
because of the scrambler. It seems that the scrambler also
scrambles astral projections. She was able to pinpoint where you
were, but by the time someone got there, you were gone, Mr.
Kruger was on a rampage, and our agent couldn’t call for
assistance because of the scrambler.
“After some rather strenuous rough and tumble; Carl
Donovan, the team member who came to rescue you; was able to
subdue Mr. Kruger. It took a little time before Carl was able to
lead Mr. Kruger back to the command location, and even more
time before the team was able to conclude what the problem was.
We all felt devastated when we learned what happened to you. If
we could have prevented it, we surely would have.” She smiled
and nodded to someone else, and then sat down.
“I’m glad it happened!” I said, so everyone could hear. “I was
able to take my power back and get myself to a safe place. This
was a milestone for me. Yeah, at the time I thought this was a
pretty mean test to put me through, and I was really angry at
Jeannie, the one who tried to astral project to me in response to
my psychic call for help. Now that I understand, I apologize to all
931
of you, especially Jeannie, for not trusting you and for jumping to
conclusions. I learned a lot from this experience, and I appreciate
all of your support and concern.”
A man stood up, looking somewhat sheepish. “Hi, Christy,
I’m Carl Donovan. You might remember me as the guy who
instructed you on the contents of your pack?”
“Ah, yes,” I replied. “Curt, to the point, and all business.”
Everyone laughed.
“Ah, well, yeah, I guess I do tend to get rather focused. I just
wanted to commend you on completing your quest, and to
apologize for not being able to assist you when you were in
trouble.”
“Thanks, but I discovered that this time I was able to assist
myself. But I have to give credit where credit is due and say that if
it wasn’t for Jeannie’s shimmery appearance when I was about to
be sexually molested, I would not have been able to grab the gun
from Mr. Kruger, and get away. So, even though you didn’t get to
me when I really needed someone, Carl, a member of the team
was able to assist me, even though I didn’t realize it at the time.
“Thanks for trying to be there for me Carl. If I had not been
able to grab that gun when I did, I would have really needed a
caring person to rescue me. Mr. Kruger was going to keep me as
some sort of sex slave, at least that is what he told me, so
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Kerry Dennis
knowing that you were on your way to help is a real comfort, even
though things didn’t work out the way Mr. Kruger wanted.
Knowing that you were looking for me, that you would have fought
for me and rescued me is very heartening.” I said, and then
noticed that Carl had a shiner. “Did you get that shiner in your
tussle with Mr. Kruger?”
“Yes, Ma’am,” he said, looking at the floor as if embarrassed.
“Come up here, Carl,” I said, getting up and walking to the
front of the table.
Carl walked up to the front of the room and I grabbed him
from my perch on the platform and gave him a hug, and then
gently kissed his wounded and blackened eye.
“I just wanted you to know how much I appreciate your
personal sacrifice.” I said, as his face turned red.
“Thank you,” he said, still embarrassed.
“You can go sit down now,” I whispered in his ear, as I
hugged him again. The room was filled with applause as he went
and sat down.
“Now, I want Jeannie to come up and give me a hug!” I said.
Jeannie came up to stand before me, her face a mix of
embarrassment and excitement. She hugged me quickly, and
then started back, but I grabbed her arm.
“Not so fast, Jeannie.” I said. “I want everyone to hear this. I
933
doubted you. I thought that you didn’t come to help me because

you didn’t really care or were afraid of self-injury. My heart was
filled with anger towards you. I saw you, but you did nothing to
assist me and I felt you had abandoned me to that fate. I am
deeply sorry for doubting your love and your friendship. Will you
forgive me?”
Tears began to stream from her eyes, and she turned and
hugged me again, deeply, soulfully, and I could feel the release in
her. “Yes,” she replied.
“You realize that you actually did help me to avoid being
abused. If I hadn’t been yelling at you, at that shimmery astral
projection you were able to generate, Mr. Kruger would not have
been momentarily confused, and I would never have been able to
get that gun from him. You kept your promise. You did come
when I called, and you did help me.”
“Oh Christy,” she replied, tearfully. “Thank you so much for
saying that! I really needed to hear that.”
“You will always be my little Jeannie, and I will always love
you.” I whispered, kissing her on the cheek.
She blushed, and then smiled. “You will always be my best
friend and playmate,” she said. “I apologize for confusing you
about what acceptance means. Aranon explained your confusion
to me. I guess I need to learn better ways to communicate my
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beliefs.”
“You did just fine,” I replied. “If I hadn’t been confused and
angry, I would never have been able to distract Mr. Kruger and
get his gun. You said what you needed to say at that time to
assist me in the future. It all worked. That’s what destiny is all
about. Being in the right frame of mind for surviving the
experience with my dignity depended on your confusing me and
making me angry. The truth is, God works in strange ways.” I
hugged her one more time.
As she returned to her seat I remained standing in front of
the table, looking out at the crowd that had been there for me,
even though I didn’t know it.
“Thank you. Thanks to all of you for your help. I will miss this
place, but not for long I think. I have a feeling I will be back in a
very short time, and will see many of you again. Maybe one day
we will work together as colleagues, after I have completed my
training.”
There was a cheer and applause as I went back and sat
down and finished my cheese burger, or I guess I should I say
that Lynn finished it, all the while putting a gleeful smile on our
face and bopping back and forth in the chair as though she were
keeping time to the beat of a rock-and-roll song that only she
could hear.
935
“I am very pleased by the way that you handled the situation

with Jeannie,” Said Aranon, as we were getting ready to leave.
“She did her best under the circumstances. And neither of us
knew that Mr. Kruger had invented a shield to protect himself from
any kind of scanning or interference. Once I realized that it wasn’t
her fault, I had to forgive her, and to admit that her attempt to
come to my aid did, in fact, assist me in distracting Mr. Kruger and
getting away. I think it’s important to give credit where credit is
due.”
“Absolutely!” He replied, grinning. “And that was the purpose
of the party, to give credit to everyone for a job well done, even
you. Can you accept that now?”
“Okay,” I replied, a little grudgingly. “Thanks for the party,
even though it was for everyone, not just me.” I gave him a
sideways smile.
“You are very welcome,” he said. “And now for the next part
of your quest, your audience with Dorn.”
“How long will it take us to get back to Top Side?” I asked.
He gave me a questioning look as he led me out of the
Boar’s Head and back through the village square. It didn’t take
long for me to see the portal, and even less time for us to walk
through it into Top Side.
“Was that fast enough?” He asked.
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Kerry Dennis
“Yes,” I replied, as we started down a familiar corridor. “I

guess I kind’a forgot about the portal, with all that walking and
riding around in vehicles.”
“Would you like some time to think about your presentation
to Dorn?”
“Nope. I know what I want to say. Lets just get on with it.”
937
Fifty-One
When we entered the command center, Dorn was in his

usual place in front of the rows of monitors. He turned and
nodded at Aranon as we entered. As we approached the raised
area where he manned the control panels and monitors he got up
and came down the steps to greet us.
“Congratulations on completing your Quest,” he said to me,
smiling.
“Well, almost completing my quest anyway,” I responded.
He gave me a sideways glance that had most of the
ingredients of a frown.
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Kerry Dennis
“Do you still have more to complete?” He asked.

“Yes,” I said, “and I need to discuss it with you.”
“Of course,” he smiled. He motioned toward a doorway.
“Lets go into the conference room.”
He led us into a fairly large room with a very large table and
many chairs. He pulled a huge chair out for me and then sat down
adjacent to me at the end of the table. Aranon sat across from
me.
“Now, what is it that you would like to discuss with me?”
“It is getting close to the time when I will need to go home,
ah, back to my native position. I know this is necessary and that
terrible things could happen to my family and neighbors if I don’t.
But that doesn’t mean I can’t come back, does it?”
“Of course not.”
“Well, I think I need to come back. I think that I need to
complete my reorientation, and I want to be trained to assist
others. I know that you can travel through time and I know that
you could send a vehicle to come get me, and I know that you can
return me to that same point in time where you picked me up. I
was thinking that you could leave me on Earth for about a month,
just to try out what I have learned and then come get me. I then I
could spend the equivalent of a month with you, and then you
take me back to my native position. Then I spend a month
939
working on what I have learned in my native environment, and

then you come get me again.
“Maybe you’ll do this two or three times. I’ll get better, faster,
because I’ll get to work on using what I learn there in my native
environment, and in return you’ll get to see how my environment
effects me. It won’t hurt anyone, for no one will ever know that I
am gone. I’ll get the help that I will I need, especially if I am going
to be able to function adequately enough to both support myself
and to help others. You will also get a direct, living connection
with Earth in my time and can obtain first hand information on the
emotional impact of occurrences you presently view as history.
“Maybe, when I am ready, I will work both here and on Earth,
using what I learn there to help me here, using what I learn here
to help myself and others there. I mean, I could be the first
interplanetary commuter!” I laughed, and hoped that he saw the
humor in the comment.
He smiled broadly, but it wasn’t a humorous smile. “Ah, you
have been thinking, haven’t you?”
“Yes,” I said. I waited a moment and when he didn’t respond
I said, “Please, Dorn, consider my idea. I think it is a good one
and I really think we would all benefit.”
“What do you think, Aranon?” Dorn asked.
“I think it may become a model which we can use with
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Kerry Dennis
others. Instead of just sending agents in, sans any memory of

Anchore or the colonies, and then discontinuing any further
contact, maybe we could maintain contact through training
programs, which could increase the effectiveness of our agents
on Earth. The idea of having a living contact that can
communicate the emotional impact of important planetary events
is also an attractive idea. Having living contacts in each nation
would be even better. I understand that it may be fudging a little
on the law of non-interference, but then we interfere when we
kidnap people and then retrain them for reentry into their
societies. Let’s confront this honestly. Lets look at the reality of
the matter. We have interfered. Our Karma is now entwined with
Earth. Why not use that as a vehicle through which to make a
greater impact?”
“I will think on it and consult the Elder Brothers, Aranon.” At
this point he got up and left the room.
“Well,” I said feeling as though I had blown it. “That went
over like a lead balloon.”
“Not necessarily. I think he was actually intrigued. He will let
us know within the next twenty-four hours. Take my word for it,
the Elder Brothers will agree.”
“So, what’s next Aranon?”
“Now we need to give you a full exam. When we send you
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back, you will have to weigh exactly what you weighed when we
retrieved you. We will have to cut your hair and nails to match
your initial bioscan. There is a little leeway but not much. You
have to fit in the space we will be returning you to, or that
implosion will still occur. It may not destroy the house, but it could
very well injure you.”
“I’m convinced,” I said, feeling a little afraid of my return, now
that I knew it had to be so precise.
“Not to worry,” he said, either sensing or knowing my
feelings. “We have had a lot of practice in this, so you will be
returned without incident. You may have to increase the calories
in your diet, though, for your safe return will depend on your
precise weight. We will be weighing you a great deal for the next
couple of days. You have lost a few pounds on your walk, my
dear.”
“Okay,” I said, realizing this was true, by the fit of my clothes
and resigning myself to this process.
“There may be another stipulation that may not set very well
with you.”
“Okay,” I said, waiting for his explanation.
“We may have to return you with no memory of the events
that have occurred since you arrived.”
“Jeeze!” I cried, angered by the thoughts that rushed through
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Kerry Dennis
my mind. “How the hell am I supposed to use what I have

learned, if I can’t remember?”
“You will,” he said, confidently. “No one we send back ever
remembers having been here. It’s standard procedure.
Nevertheless, you will be able to access what you have learned
whenever conditions or situations demand reevaluation,
rethinking. You will be programmed to access what you have
learned here, as you need it.”
“Oh, now that’s comforting, Aranon. I’ll remember what you
taught me but I won’t remember you. I will remember what I
learned in the Meathos, but I won’t remember the Meathos. I
won’t remember Remmie. I won’t remember Piddles. I won’t
remember seeing Lynn run across that amazing and magical field
on that strange planet where all the colors were so different. I
won’t remember Davy’s joy, at discovering that he had a penis.
Tell me Aranon, will this remain the rule each time I come back for
my month here?”
“Like I said, it’s standard procedure.”
“That’s stupid!” I yelled, angry at this revelation.
“It is the objective of the Brotherhood to have as great an
impact as possible without disclosing our presence.”
“Like you said to Dorn, you have interfered, your karma is
entwined with ours! Hey, if I told someone what has happened to
943
me here, do you think they would believe it? Heck no! All I would
wind up doing by talking about this experience with anyone would
be to make myself look like a real fruitcake. You gott’a let me
remember! I cherish my memories of Remmie. I cherish my
memories of Meestra. I will definitely cherish my memories of
you!”
“It’s policy, Christy. I’m so very sorry. You will not remember
me or Remmie, or Anchor.”
“That’s nuts!” I said angrily. “It’s abuse! It’s theft! It’s rape!”
“How could it be rape or theft, Christy?”
“You are taking a part of me, invading a part of me without
my permission! Yes! I gave you permission when I was here, but
after I am back there, I won’t remember that! I’m sorry, but in my
book that is rape, that is taking advantage of an individual and
taking what rightfully belongs to them without an informed
consent.”
“There is an informed consent. Am I not informing you now?”
“Do I have a choice?”
“We cannot allow our interventions to become common
knowledge.”
“Like I said, who’s going to believe me?”
“We can’t take the chance.”
“This isn’t informed consent, this is informed coercion. You
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Kerry Dennis
tell me what the policy is and I either give in or my memory gets

wiped anyway!”
“I know it is difficult to accommodate, Christy.”
“No” I said, flatly. “No, this is just not acceptable! If I am
going to be commuting back and forth from Earth to here, I’m
going to need to remember what happened, not just what I
learned! If Dorn accepts my suggestion, then I am going to need
to discuss this with him too. I mean, how am I supposed to know
when you are coming to get me, where I should meet you for
pickup? I mean, you can’t just come kidnap me every time!”
“Christy, our anonymity is sacred. This isn’t about you or our
trust in you, it’s about our work and it’s effectiveness on Earth. If it
gets out that you have been commuting between Earth and
another planet, it could jeopardize our work on Earth. I know,” he
said, holding up his hand to forestall my rebuttal. “No one would
believe you. But that isn’t exactly true. There are many on your
planet, in your society, that believe in extraterrestrials, and this
would be just the thing to wet their appetite for uncovering proof of
extraterrestrial contact. Such a situation could prove more than
just a little difficult for us.”
“But I won’t discuss it with anyone. And you could make sure
I don’t by fixing it so that if I start to talk about it with anyone, I
wouldn’t be able to do it. I know you could do that and I would
945
accept your doing that, because I know you need to remain

anonymous. I want to help you to remain that way. I am willing to
undergo a mind block that would disallow me from discussing my
experiences here with anyone on Earth and yet allow me to
remember the people here and on other planets that I have met
and that I hope to meet again. Please, Aranon? I know you can
do this. Please?”
“It’s not up to me. You were right when you said you would
need to discuss it with Dorn. What you say does make sense
though. I agree with you that we could block you from discussing
your experiences here with those on Earth and yet leave you with
the memories of what occurred while you were here. It also
makes sense to me that you would view our wiping your memory
as rape. So often in your life you have been violated and then
were forced to forget for you own survival.”
“And the survival of my abusers, who encouraged my
forgetfulness with threats and visions of hell and damnation.
Aranon, if I know something has happened to change me, and I
can’t remember what it was, don’t you think that is going to cause
me a lot of problems? I mean you saw the craziness I felt I had to
go through in order to remember. Do you think that drive to
remember and understand is just going to go away?”
“No, I don’t. And I am convinced that in spite of our best
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Kerry Dennis
efforts, you will eventually remember. I just hope that when you
do, you will deal with the memories in an appropriate way.”
“And what would that be, Aranon?” I asked, wondering how I
could deal with the memories appropriately.
“You have to remember that I have seen the future, and
have been monitoring it for changes since before your arrival
here. I took a look just yesterday, before I went to Midway to meet
you. I know for a fact that you will remember and that you will
communicate those memories to others.”
“How do you know that?” I asked. “Did I go on TV or
something?”
“No, you were very tasteful. You wrote a science fiction
book. You communicated the message we have been giving you
without maintaining that it was an actual event. I was impressed.”
‘You read the book?”
“I read a synopsis of it. Personally, I’m for letting you
remember. I think you may have more of an impact on your
society with your book if you do.”
“Okay,” I said. “So you’ll back me up then?”
“I will.”
947
After leaving the conference room in the command center,

Aranon took me for a physical examination. Aranon explained to
me that they had to compare my arrival exam with this one to see
what they needed to do. I had to weigh, to a fraction of an ounce,
what I weighed when I arrived in order for them to be able to
reinsert me into my native position.
“So are you gonna rebreak my hip?” I asked him.
“No, I think we will allow you a spontaneous healing. I
suppose it will raise a few eyebrows, but it won’t draw much
attention. Remember, I know what happens when you get back.”
“Okay, so with what you know, do you know if Dorn lets me
remember?”
“No comment.” He replied, as he completed his evaluation.
“You know, don’t you?” I asked, determined to know the
truth.
“Christy, I cannot answer your questions on this subject. I
am going to have to ask you to refrain from asking about what I
may or may not know about future events. Please honor this, as
the alternative may be upsetting for you.”
“Oh yeah? And what would that be? Are you going to put me
to sleep or something?”
“Now there’s an idea,” he replied, with a smile and a wink.
“No, you will be assigned a different facilitator.”
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Kerry Dennis
“Jeeze, Aranon, this is a real bummer.”

“I agree, but sometimes we just have to bite the bullet.”
“What?” I asked, remembering that as a line in a John
Wayne movie.
“Sometimes things are not as we would have them be,
sometimes they are painful, and we just have to bare the pain
until it is finished. I would like to tell about you everything you ask.
I would like for you to have more of a say in what happens to you.
I actually think that we need to reevaluate our security program
concerning Earth. The policies of my order disallow what I think
to be most ethical in your case. I may have seen the future, but it
can change in an instant, as the result of an unexpected shift in
the stance of the High Council. You are a unique case. Anything
can happen, Christy. Let’s just wait and see how it turns out.”
At this point, Dorn summoned us to the control center. We
didn’t converse as we made our way back. Once inside, Dorn met
us and led us back into the meeting room.
“To your request for multiple visits, we have to say no, at this
time.” He said, getting right to the point. “To your request of
retaining your memory, we also must say no at this time. Yes, I
know about that and it cannot be allowed. We have given you all
that we could in the time allotted, and soon you will be returned to
your native position. Our decisions are based upon many things,
949
not just future forecasts.

“We have maintained our effectiveness on many fronts by
strictly adhering to our policies. Yes, there have been cases in
which all may have benefited from more extensive assistance,
you are not the first, nor will you be the last. Yes, there have been
times when allowing an individual to retain the memory of their
experiences here would have been therapeutically beneficial, but
because of our strict boundaries and policies, we have remained
undetected since this project began. Therefore we are still able to
provide assistance and guidance without sabotage from well
meaning, but misguided individuals and organizations, especially
the military organizations of the planets in question.
“Your native time on Earth is not a good time to return an
individual with the full memory of what happened to them here.
There are just too many organizations that would have an interest
in exposing us, and by doing so could influence our effectiveness.
I know that this is not what you want to hear, and I realize that it
may cause you some discomfort, but it is my job to protect our
project on Earth, and what you ask is outside the boundaries of
what I, as a member of the Brotherhood can allow without their
sanction. The bottom line is that they will not sanction it. I am
sworn to uphold their decisions, and so is Aranon. I am sorry for
the pain and discomfort this may cause you.”
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Kerry Dennis
With that he got up and left the conference room. I sat there
in stunned silence, as did Aranon. I would be sent home. There
would be no further contact, and I wouldn’t remember this
experience. I was devastated.
Aranon led me back to my room, and all the way back we
didn’t say more than five words to each other. I think he left me
there, alone, because he just didn’t know what to say.
I sat on my bed crying, trying not to resort to my old
behaviors, just to get the attention I felt I needed. I thrust my
hands into my pockets, trying to keep myself from beating on the
walls. In one pocket I found the stone that Jeannie gave me, and
in the other I found the communicator that Aranon gave me the
night after the attempted rape. I looked around the room. I knew
that the communications console probably included a camera that
monitored me, and some sort of sound pickup, like a microphone.
I went into the bathroom and looked around. I could see no
monitoring devices. That didn’t mean they weren’t there, but I
couldn’t see them.
I decided to take a chance and call Remmie. I wanted to see
her one more time, to say goodbye forever. It seemed an
important thing to do. I held the flat oval shaped stone to my
forehead and thought of Remmie.
“Christy?” I heard her voice say.
951
“Yep, it’s me. This is the last time I will probably ever see
you. I just wanted to say goodbye and to let you know how much I
love you and your family. Please, say goodbye for me to Aldalgo.
They are sending me back to Earth and they are going to wipe my
memory and I will not be coming back. I just wanted to let you
know that I won’t be able to remember you, so you have to keep
the memories for the both of us.”
“Oh no, Christy! I am terribly sorry.”
“I think it stinks,” I replied, “but I have no say in the matter.”
“Why are they wiping your memory?” She asked, with a truly
mystified look on her face.
“Because it is policy. Because if I accidentally let slip where
I’ve been it could cause them problems. I can’t see how that could
happen, but they are taking no chances,” I replied, and then
added, from my heart, “I love you Remmie.”
“I love you too, Christy. You have taught my people and me
so very much. Because of you, life on my planet has changed a
great deal. I won’t be the only one who will be keeping your
memory alive. You touched us all, and little Courage will be a
living tribute to your visit here.”
“Thank you, Remmie,” I said as a tear slid from my eye. “I
won’t miss you, because I won’t remember you, but I wanted you
to know that right now I miss you and that if I were allowed to
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Kerry Dennis
remember I would think of you all, often.”

“I will think of you often as well, Christy, and I will keep your
memory alive by reminding people that many of the new policies
here are due to your insight, your wisdom. I will have your name
engraved on a commemoration plaque at the temple of the
Mother Pool. You will never be forgotten, Christy. I promise you
that.”
I looked up and Aranon was standing in the bathroom
doorway looking at me. I knew I needed to say goodbye.
“I gott’a go, Remmie. Give my love to your family.” I closed
my hand around the stone and looked Aranon in the eye.
“I believe that’s mine,” he said, holding out his hand for the
communicator.
I handed it to him as tears flowed from my eyes. I felt bereft
and I didn’t have my old coping methods to deal with the feelings.
He turned and left the bathroom and I got up and followed him.
“I had to, Aranon. I’m sorry if I did something wrong. I
couldn’t let her think I just forgot about her. I had to tell her
goodbye.”
“I know.” He said, pocketing the stone. “I’m not angry with
you. I just wish it could have been different. I think it could have
worked…your idea. I think your proposal would have given us a
greater insight into how to assist your people. I think it could have
953
become a research project, and that we may have learned a great

deal from it. Unfortunately, I don’t make the final decisions.”
“I know,” I said, finally conceding in my own heart that this
was not what he would have chosen for me. “I just really don’t
understand.” At that point I broke down and sobbed.
He knelt down and took me into an embrace. He held me
while I sobbed, stroking my head, rubbing my back. “I’m so sorry,"
he said. “There is still time for an appeal.”
“What’s the use?” I cried, miserably. “You already know what
is going to happen. They already know what is going to happen.”
“The future is malleable, Christy. Remember the words of
T.S. Elliot? ‘Do I dare disturb the universe? In a minute there is
time for decisions and revisions, which a minute will reverse.’
Things can change in an instant. Just one choice made, that you
would not have made before, just one change of heart because of
a more enlightened way of viewing a situation, and the future
shifts, sometimes in amazing ways, Christy. Never give up on the
future, Christy, no matter how inflexible it may seem. In every
thought, in every act, in every moment there lie the seeds for
change.”
954
Fifty-Two
It was the last few days of my stay on Anchor, and for a

while I just went through the motions of doing what I was asked to
do. My diet was monitored so that my weight would come up. I
was given a haircut and a manicure, a pedicure but not in any
conventional way. It was all done with precise lasers I guess. But
most of the time I was left to myself. During that time I did a lot of
research on the Brotherhood, what their goals are, what their
beliefs are and their relationship to the program on Anchor.
One of the things that I learned was that although they built
Anchor, it was only one of many reorientation centers throughout
955
many galaxies. I learned that each galaxy had it’s own Overseer,
and that often an Overseer’s policies might differ from the core
values of the Brotherhood itself.
I learned that first of all, they value life, in any form and seek
to facilitate the elevation of consciousness in every living form.
Second, they seek only to carry the light to other forms, shunning
all practices that encourage darkness, in whatever form it takes.
Their interactions with other life forms must always be based in
love and it’s ethical expression in interpersonal relationships.
Love, according to the Brotherhood, is that Force that flows
through all things, promoting independent growth, independent
experience and the independent cognition of the light. The Light is
that force that flows through all things, guiding, directing and
providing opportunities for conscious expansion.
I learned that they attempt in all cases to honor the
individual, seeking always to assist them in meeting their needs
and attaining their goals. Nevertheless, when the expression and
goals of a planet and it’s race(s) are proven to be destructive to
other planets and their race(s), then a special project may be
established for the purpose of assisting the planet and it’s race(s)
in shifting their consciousness toward a more productive lifestyle
and a more enlightened code of ethics. Such projects have more
leeway in determining policy, and the option to move from a
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Kerry Dennis
covert position to a more overt position as conditions warrant. The

most important task being; protecting nearby systems from
possible damage due to the self-destructive behaviors of the
race(s) residing on the planet within their focus.
In their dealings with both individuals and planetary races,
The Brotherhood seeks always to be fair and unbiased by past
circumstances. If petitions for specific assistance are made and
rejected, then the petitioner has the opportunity to appeal the
ruling with the Core Administrator.
Now I knew what I needed to do! I would ask Aranon to get
me an appointment with the Core Administrator. I looked into the
screen and said; “I need to talk to Aranon. Please send him as
soon as possible.” Then, I sat back and waited.
In about five minutes Aranon arrived.
“I’m glad you decided to talk with me, Christy.” He said as he
entered the room. “I was really getting worried about you. I really
didn’t want to send you back feeling so abandoned. We may be
able to wipe your memory, but we have yet to find a way to wipe
the emotions. In the frame of mind you have been in, you would
have been setting yourself up for a continuation of your emotional
distortions.”
“I am not the only one who is contributing to my sense of
abandonment. Yes, I take responsibility for part of it, with the
957
stipulation that my part be considered as contingent upon my

sense of fair treatment. I need to be allowed to speak to the Core
Administrator.”
He grinned broadly, showing off his perfect white teeth.
“Doing some research, I see.”
“Can you make it so that I can talk to him? I mean there
must be some kind of direct communication between you and
him, huh?”
“Yes, but Dorn must approve it.”
“If petitions for specific assistance are made and rejected,
then the petitioner has the opportunity to appeal the ruling with
the Core Administrator.” I quoted to him. “It doesn’t say anything
about my appeal having to be approved by someone else before I
can make that direct appeal. I want to speak to the Core
Administrator. It’s my right according to the ethics of The
Brotherhood!”
“Yes,” he said, thoughtfully. “I agree, you do have that right. I
will arrange it right away.” He turned on his heal and waved his
hand over the scanner to open the door and then left, the door
swishing shut as he disappeared down the corridor.
Two hours or so later, he returned almost as brusquely as he
left.
“Come, sit in front of the communications console,” he
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Kerry Dennis
instructed, walking toward the console and then turning to look at

me. I had been lying on my bed.
“Okay,” I said, yawning. “What for?”
“You are about to have your audience with the Core
Administrator himself. Do you know what you want to say to him?”
“It’s always a Him, isn’t it?”
“It is a biological thing. Because the males of sentient races
are generally more aggressive, more physically powerful, they
have become socially accepted as leaders.”
“They have intimidated their mates into accepting them as
leaders, you mean,” I quipped.
“True,” he chuckled, “quite true.”
“So is my sexuality going to impact his decision?”
“No, he didn’t get where he is by practicing partiality. He will
listen to you as he would a male making the same plea. Have you
decided how you will frame your plea?”
“Yes. I am going to site the policies concerning special
projects.”
“Oh yes,” he replied, with another wide grin. “That would
have been my choice.”
“And the policy concerning honoring the individual.”
“Which policy is that?”
“The one that says that The Brotherhood should honor the
959
individual. Their needs and their goals.”

“Yes,” he said thoughtfully, “it is a Basic Principal. So, what
are your needs and goals?” He asked, with an expectant smile.
“I need to remember what happened to me here for two
reasons. One; because I would like to be allowed to return at
specific intervals to obtain further assistance, while practicing
what I have learned here within my society and two; because I
would like to expand Anchor’s knowledge and understanding of
my society to best serve The Brotherhood, of my own volition, to
forestall and eventually avert an intergalactic calamity.”
“How would your remembering your experiences here
facilitate your goals of further assistance and assist in the
expansion of Anchor’s knowledge about your society?”
“Playing Devil’s Advocate, are you? Okay, because if I can’t
remember what happened to me here, and were not allowed to
return, at intervals, for further assistance I would very quickly
revert to the emotional state I was in when I was retrieved by
Anchor Station.
“On the other hand if I were allowed to return to get further
assistance, I would probably fare better, but not remembering
would be a problem in that this is part of the pathology of my
emotional distortions. As long as that pathology is being triggered,
I will have difficulty shedding my emotional distortions and
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Kerry Dennis
attaining my goal of assisting the Brotherhood. My goal is to be

able to be a liaison between my home planet, Earth, and The
Brotherhood at Anchor Station for the purpose of expanding
Anchor’s and thus The Brotherhood’s understanding and
effectiveness in it’s own goal of averting a calamity that will not
only effect my planet but others as well.”
“Well said,” stated Aranon. At this point the screen flickered
and the face of an older man appeared.
“I am Arrap Sephrim, Core Administrator,” said the man. “I
have agreed to hear your plea.”
“I wish to appeal a ruling given me by Dorn.”
“What was your plea?”
“To understand my plea, you would need to be appraised of
who I am, where I am from and what my emotional challenges
are. My facilitator, Aranon will communicate this information to
you if you would like.”
“Yes, please make this information available to me,” he said.
“Is there a great deal of information to absorb? Are you under a
time constraint?”
“She needs to leave within the next three Anchor solar
cycles,” interjected Aranon. “Her molecular signature is rapidly
shifting, and she must be returned to her native position before
that occurs in order to prevent a cataclysmic event that could take
961
the lives of members of her family as well as several neighbors.

Her arrival here was self-generated through a primal form of
teleportation, which did not allow for the implosion of the space-
time position that she projected from. She must be returned
before her molecular signature has changed to such a degree that
she can not be reinserted into her native position.”
“I see. I will explore the material as quickly as possible. I will
make it my priority for the next day or so. My system is now ready
to receive the information.”
Aranon’s fingers raced over the keys of the keyboard on the
console table as symbols flashed on the screen. Finally, the
screen went blank. I figured that when he said it would take a
while, that it would take a day or so, but then time for The
Brotherhood doesn’t mean the same thing as it does to mere
humans.
Within a couple of minutes, hardly time to get out of the
chair, the screen lit up and the Core Administrator’s face filled the
screen.
“I should be available to meet with you in the control center
in a few minutes,” he stated, his face appeared controlled. “I will
also insist that the Overseer be there as well.”
“Of course,” replied Aranon. “Thank you for your prompt
response.” He hit a key and the screen went blank. “Well, I
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Kerry Dennis
suppose we had best go back to the control center,” he said,

waving for me to follow him.
“I thought he needed time to go over the material,” I said,
incredulous.
“Oh and you can bet he took it too.”
“Yeah, that’s right, you guys bend time. Don’t you worry
about creating paradoxes?”
“There are a lot of rules surrounding how we use our time
displacement capabilities. Nevertheless, in a case such as this,
where time is already a factor, it can be a helpful tool in providing
the time to review facts before decisions are made.”
“So why doesn’t he just go look at what the decision was and
just tell us?”
“It doesn’t work that way, Christy. The work has to be done
in order for the outcome to be valid. Anything less would create
exactly what you just said a moment ago, a paradox.”
As we entered the control center we encountered a number
of people, including Dorn and the Core Administrator. Dorn led us
all into the conference room and everyone chose a seat around
the huge table. The Core Administrator took the seat at the head
of the table.
“All right,” he said, with a hint of an accent I hadn’t caught
when he spoke to us through the communications console. “We
963
all know why we are here. The Seeker, Christy, desires to be

allowed to remember her experience here, as well as return here,
at defined intervals for further assistance and then to work, as a
liaison between Earth and Anchor. Have I got that correct,
Christy?”
“Yes, but I would like to define it as a research project.”
“Ah, yes, that changes things.”
“You see, this is not just for me, but also to help The
Brotherhood better understand my society, how it impacts me
emotionally, how I observe it impacting those around me. When
you look at us through time, you miss that part. You have no live
connection, and I think you may need this in order to assist my
society in becoming more aware and thus avoiding a situation
which could impact many planets and many societies.”
“I see,” he said. “Well, it is clear to me that you have not had
enough time here to overcome your psychophysical distortions
and I would like to see you complete that. I can see that you have
great potential as a facilitator as well as an interplanetary liaison. I
feel that your interaction with the Archanians has been very
beneficial, and would like to see your connection with Archana
continue as well. In spite of your distortions you appear to be a
very ethical and compassionate person, and would definitely
qualify for induction into the Brotherhood, an unfortunate term in
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Kerry Dennis
your language, for our membership is made up of just about as

many females as males.” He looked right at me and smiled. “But
it’s the memory retention that is in contention here, at least for the
initial portion of the reorientation.”
“But how can I use what I learn here in any adequate way,
there, if I can’t remember my experiences here within their proper
context. I need to remember the love and support that I have
obtained here, for that is something I have never had before and
may very well be what makes the difference in my capacity to
continue to recover while on Earth.
“And what will you do when you bring me back? Kidnap me
again and Again? And each time it would be terrifying, because I
wouldn’t remember the previous times! That’s abusive and I don’t
deserve that. So just send me back to my native position and
leave me there, or let me remember and work with me and give
me a chance to help you in the process.” I hadn’t planned to give
an ultimatum, but I couldn’t take it back now.
“All right,” he said, turning to Aranon. “Aranon, what are your
thoughts on this matter?”
“I think this could turn into a very productive research project
that could very well generate a major shift in the consciousness of
her planet. I trust Christy to carry the message of conscious
reorientation without generating any undue pressure on our
965
Order. The fact is, we have already interfered in this planet’s

evolution, and we chose to do so in order to prevent an event that
has shown itself to be cataclysmic on a intergalactic scale. I think
that the situation on Earth demands more open attention, in view
of the fact that even though we have forestalled this event, we
have yet to dissipate it.
“Our covert interference isn’t having the desired effect. It’s
time we become more visible. I think that Christy came here to
alert us to this. When I consider the pain and abuse that she has
been through in this life and previous ones on this planet, I am
astonished at the level of violence that permeates this society,
and am certain that this is the source of this future cataclysm. Our
greatest concern now is not our anonymity, but our willingness to
send an outpouring of Love and Light to this planet. The entire
planet is in pain, filled with individuals living lives of intense
desperation that is exacerbated by social, religious and political
distortions. What does it profit our anonymity, if we forestall the
cataclysm indefinitely while leaving generations of individuals in
emotional agony, physical pain and mental disarray?”
The room was absolutely silent after Aranon finished his
statement. I was proud he was my facilitator.
“We have run a number of simulations, and we find a lot of
problems with it.” Said Dorn.
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Kerry Dennis
“Such as?” Asked the Core Administrator.

“Such as Christy’s idea of becoming the inhabitant of two
planets at the same time presenting a possible paradox.”
“But I won’t be inhabiting two planets at the same time, but in
alternate times.” I argued. “I only suggested the month on month
off thing because it seemed like an easy rhythm to maintain, and I
wouldn’t change much in the eyes of my peers on Earth. It would
also make it easier to maintain a job or to go to school, because I
wouldn’t be so likely to forget what I was doing, once I was back
in school, or back on the job.”
“Okay, and then there is the fact that Christy will need to be
monitored. That means we will need to put together a team.”
“You already have a team!” I said, maybe a little too loud. I
looked at my lap, embarrassed.
“She’s right,” interjected Aranon gently, “I put together a
team to monitor her through her vision quest, and I am certain
they would all be willing to continue their jobs.”
“All right then,” responded a man I didn’t know, but I
assumed was the Overseer. “It goes completely against the
system’s policy and it has the potential of becoming a burden on
the Brotherhood,” He was not entirely human and yet spoke with
authority.
“That’s true, Vadish, and yet there are contingencies that
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sometimes require a shift in our thinking, wouldn’t you say?”

Asked the Administrator, in a patient tone.
“Of course,” replied the Overseer, nodding to the
Administrator.
“And that is why we engage in special projects and research
projects, to help us to make a shift in our thinking, in our
understanding. And sometimes these projects require that we
shift our thinking away from policy and toward facilitating the goal
of the project.
“There is no good reason to leave a whole planet in pain. I
feel we need to go to their aid in the least obtrusive means
possible. I believe we may have found a means, but we won’t
know until we run a pilot project. Are we in agreement that we will
support this project, at least until such time as it proves to be
ineffective?”
The Administrator reviewed each face at the table, some of
which hadn’t made a contribution to the discussion. Each of them
quietly nodded as he made eye contact with them. I did the same
when he looked at me. When he gave me a smile and a wink my
heart sang! At that moment I knew that I had gotten what I
wanted! I struggled to keep a straight face while my inner selves
were dancing and singing.
“Well, then,” the Core Administrator said as he rose from his
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chair. “Let’s all get to work. We only have two days to get this
project set up.” And with that he walked out of the room.
Everyone slowly got up and started filing out of the room.
Dorn appeared beside me, towering over me like a giant monolith.
I looked up at him.
“I have to say that you have tenacity. You refuse to take no
for an answer when you feel that you are right. Nevertheless, I
don’t see you taking this to be a license to ignore ethical law. I
feel one day we will work together. I look forward to that time.” He
stuck out his huge hand and I grabbed a couple fingers and shook
hands with him.
“Me too,” I replied. “I’d like to get to know who you are when
you are not hiding behind that aura of authority.” I gave him a
quick smile and a wink.
“Ah, ha!” He said, chuckling. “Well, we’ll be seeing one
another periodically, that’s for sure, now.” He walked away
chuckling.
“You touched him!” Said Aranon, with an excited grin.
“I what?”
“You touched him, you made him laugh! I don’t think I have
ever seen him laugh. But then I can’t remember a time when
anyone accused Dorn of hiding behind his aura of authority,
either.” Aranon started to chuckle as well.
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“Aranon! I got what I wanted! They’re going to allow me to

remember! They’re going to allow me to come back!” I said
excitedly, getting up and hopping up and down.
“Yes, it’s true! I am so glad for you, Christy.”
I threw out my arms and he got up out of his chair and
stooped to hug me. “Will you remain my facilitator?” I asked.
“Even while you are absent,” he replied, smiling. “I will be
monitoring you with the team.”
“Okay, what does that mean?”
“We have yet to work that out. Possibly, we will send
someone to accompany you in your space-time position.
Someone who would stay a safe distance from you, and yet be
able to monitor your life signs.”
“Like telemetry?” I asked.
“Exactly. The other method would be to implant you with a
device that would send a continuous, in-sync record of your
telemetry as well as visual and auditory records. This would be
the best way to go, but it requires invasive surgery and requires
your willingness and permission.”
“Where would you put this thing?” I asked, not really wanting
to go that way.
“At the base of your brain where we can tap into your audio
and visual neural networks. This would also give us the
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opportunity to converse with you, in real time, as well. It is a

precise procedure that has been done many times without
incident. You will not experience any pain, and the healing will be
almost instantaneous. It will cause no discomfort, but will provide
us with a bio-signal with which we can teleport you if the need
arises, for instance if your life were in danger.”
“And you could talk to me?”
“Yes, at least someone would be available to talk with you
whenever you needed to talk.”
“I might keep someone mighty busy for a while,” I said.
“I suspect you probably will,” he grinned at me. “But
eventually, you will pay little attention to those who monitor, and
just get on with your life.”
“I guess that’s true,” I said, thinking it might not be such a
bad thing. “So when would we do this?”
“How about right now?”
“You mean, just like that?”
“It would give us the time we need to adjust the telemetry.”
“Where would we do it?”
“In the examination room right down the corridor.” He started
for the door and I followed him out through the command center
and into the corridor.
“Are you saying you are going to be doing this?”
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“Done it hundreds of times, and have yet to loose anyone.”

He said, with a reassuring smile.
“Who do you do this to, most of the time?”
“Off world operatives. Individuals who go in and investigate
cultures, societies.”
“So why don’t you have anyone doing that on Earth?”
“Oh, we do! But with the mind wipe policy, specifically with
Earth, we have had issues with observational contamination. Our
operatives can show us what is going on, but they can’t
communicate with us. First of all because they don’t know we are
there, and secondly because policy requires that we not break
anonymity. Our anonymous programs are not showing much
success though. I think it’s time for a change.” He led me into the
examination room. “Just hop up on the table there and we will get
this taken care of.”
“I haven’t said I would do it yet,” I replied, feeling suddenly
frightened by the thought of having a foreign object inserted into
my brain. “Aranon, can it hurt me? I mean can it cause
complications in my body, in my brain?”
“No, as a matter of fact, we can use it to assist your body by
signaling certain glands or stimulating certain brain functions, but
only in an emergency. We signed a pact, Christy. We will do no
harm.”
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“Okay,” I said, making up my mind. I climbed onto the table,

which he had lowered for me. The idea of being able to maintain
communication with him was more attractive than the fear that it
would harm me.
He pushed a piece of equipment, which appeared to hang in
mid air, over near the table where I sat. It was a fairly large
console and yet it glided effortlessly to the position where he
wanted it. Then he began to press buttons and toggle switches.
“Okay,” he said finally, “lay on your stomach and put your
hands under your forehead. I need you face down. I know it’s a bit
uncomfortable but in a minute I will be generating a field to raise
you up a little and I will also be adjusting it to accommodate your
face.”
I lay down on my stomach and cradled my forehead with my
hands. He was right it was uncomfortable. Then I began to rise off
the table, and I could hear him clicking keys, making adjustments,
and then suddenly my hands dropped down about six inches, as
there was no longer a surface pressing against my nose and chin.
It was a lot more comfortable. Then I felt him brushing the hair
away from the back of my neck and something cold was applied
to my skin. I braced for a prick or something, but it didn’t come.
What happened was that there was a vibration at the back of my
neck that translated into my teeth and jaw, but it wasn’t
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uncomfortable. Then I heard a pop and saw a momentary flash of

light, and then felt a warm sensation. There was another click and
a slight tugging sensation, more warmth and then nothing.
“That’s it,” he said, as I floated back down to the table. As I
came to rest he helped my up. “Not that bad, huh?”
“You were right, it didn’t hurt at all,” I replied, jumping down
from the table. “How do we know if it works?”
“We’ll find out in a few hours, after the team is reassembled
and they are at their stations. Until then, why don’t we go back to
your room and talk.” We left the examination room and started
down the corridor.
“Do you think I could take a little nap first?” I asked, feeling a
little weary. It’s been a while since I have rested and my muscles
are still aching from my long walk.”
“Of course,” he said, opening the door to my room. “I’ll use
the time to get the team together and organized so that we can
test the implant.”
“Thank you for believing in me, Aranon,” I said, flopping
down on the bed. “I was really impressed by what you said today.
I really want to help.”
“I know you do, Christy, and I also know that you will help.
Not because I have looked into the future, but because I have had
the privilege of looking into your soul.”
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Fifty-Three
I awoke as the sound of the door opening announced

Aranon’s return. I turned over as he approached, rubbing my eyes
to relieve the stickiness of sleep.
“Did you have a good rest?” He asked, smiling down at me.
“I’m not sure I got enough,” I replied, struggling to get into a
sitting position, while all my muscles screamed at me.
“Well, we are getting a little short on time, so you may need
to console yourself with the idea that you will have plenty of time
to sleep when you arrive back at your native position.” He walked
over to the conversation area and took a seat. “Lets talk about
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how things are going to progress to that point.”

I pushed myself off the bed and moved achingly toward a
chair in the conversation area. I climbed into a chair adjacent to
Aranon and collapsed back into the cushions, my body grateful for
the soft support.
“Do you have any aspirin?” I was pretty sure he didn’t.
“Are you asking for assistance with your pain?” He asked,
his face compassionate.
“Yes, I am.” I knew why I hurt so much. It was because I had
stopped walking so much. Now my muscles were really nagging
me about what I had put them through.
Aranon leaned forward and held out his hands. “Put your
hands in mine,” he said, gently.
I leaned forward and placed my hands in his. He closed
them around my tiny little hands and immediately I felt warmth
travel into my hands and then through my body, erasing the pain
in waves, like the ocean waves erase footsteps from the sandy
shore. When all the pain had been erased, I opened my eyes and
looked up at him. His eyes sparkled and he smiled at me.
“Better?”
“Loads!” I said, happily, as he released my hands and I let
them drop into my lap. “Even some of the tiredness is gone too!”
“I am glad I was able to help.” He smiled again. “Now, there
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are a number of things that we have to do before your departure,

which is coming up fast. I will have to be weighing you every few
hours, for we are shooting for a strictly defined weight, which can
be slightly under, but not over the weight you were when you left
your native position. When you reach that weight, you will be
returned. You still have a few ounces to go, but it could happen
tonight, or tomorrow. We don’t have any more time after that, so
we are going to be getting pretty precise with your meals.”
“That’s fine with me. I have never been very interested in
food anyway. I always wished there were such a thing as a pill
people could take everyday so that they wouldn’t have to eat.”
“Actually, there is such a thing. I personally use supplements
to maintain my nutrition and only eat once in a while, and then just
for fun.” He grinned at me. “Okay, lets move on to the next item
on the agenda. I know that you said you wanted to see Mr. Kruger
before you left, and it seems that he will be leaving soon as well.
He will be going to Colony Twelve, where they have a semi
controlled environment and a good success rate with individuals
like Charles. I thought it best that you see him as soon as
possible, for his group will be leaving as soon as we release him
to the team that will be transporting them.”
“Sure,” I said, feeling a slight twinge of fear at facing the man
that almost raped me. Almost is the operative word here though.
977
Mostly what he did was scare the daylights out of me.

“Well, then I guess we should go back to central control. I’ll
arrange to have him brought to the conference room. Why don’t
you do some personal care and put some clean clothes on while I
arrange this.” He got up and went to the door once again. After
reaching the door her turned and smiled at me. “Get a move on
girl,” he added.
As soon as the door closed I went to the personal care
center and stripped, showered and took care of other needs.
Then I dressed. As I was putting my shoes on, he returned.
“Okay, let’s go,” I said, getting up and following him into the
corridor. I was beginning to think we might be wearing a path in
that part of the corridor. On the way, Aranon produced some sort
of communication device from one of his secret pockets and
notified the team responsible for Mr. Kruger that we would be
meeting him in the conference room at central control. By the time
he had finished his communication we were almost there. I was
starting to get a feel for where things were here in this maze of
identical walls and doors.
“I suppose he looks really different now, huh?” I asked as we
entered the control room.
“Well, to be sure, he is a lot cleaner,” chuckled Aranon.
We went straight to the conference room, and took what
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Kerry Dennis
were becoming our seats at the end of the table. After about three
minutes of waiting, two men entered. One looked vaguely familiar,
the other was a facilitator, I could tell by his jumpsuit.
“Have a seat here, Charles, said the facilitator, leading him
to a seat across from me. I will be right outside, so anytime you
want to go, just come out of the room and I will take you to back
to the group.” The facilitator patted him on the shoulder and then
left the room, closing the door.
“So, why am I here?” Asked Charles, whose clean-shaven
face was handsome in a rugged sort of way. His hair was clean
and had been trimmed, and his clothes were clean and well fitting.
“Do you remember me, Charles?” I asked, looking him in the
eye.
“Yeah, well, maybe,” he said, shifting uncomfortably in his
chair.
“I’ll jog your memory. I wanted water and you said I couldn’t
have the water from the spring. Now do you remember?”
“You stole my gun, you bitch!” He said, jumping to his feet
with sudden recognition, and then sank back into the chair, as
Aranon stood as well, his immensity towering over him.
“I’m sorry about that, Charles. I really didn’t have much
choice at the time. You had me pretty scared, you know.” I tried to
sound as genuine and sincere as I could.
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“I know. It was a rotten thing to do, and I am sorry.” He said

as though he were reading the line from a script. After he said it
he dropped his eyes to his lap.
“It’s okay, Charles. I want you to know that I forgive you, and
that I hope with all of my heart that you will find peace and at least
one good friend.”
He looked up at me with a somewhat startled look on his
face. “Why?” He asked in a genuine tone.
“Because you are a brilliant and capable man and I think that
you deserve better than a life of running and hiding, loneliness
and fear of discovery. Because you gave me a gift that day, when
you took me hostage. You taught me that I have the power and
the responsibility to stand up for myself and to take my life back.
“You see, I have been raped multiple times in my life, and
each time it happened I became more and more used to just
giving in and allowing my body to be abused. You provided
circumstances that taught me that I didn’t have to do that
anymore, that I could actually defend myself and avoid that
degradation. I want to thank you for your help.”
For a moment he just stared at me, an incredulous look on
his face, and then a tiny tear slid from the corner of his eye. As
soon as he felt this occur, he straightened in the chair and an
angry look shrouded his features.
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Kerry Dennis
“I’d a hurt you, you know. I’d a hurt you and hurt you, and if
you didn’t get that gun from me you would‘a still been there,
getting’ fucked and beat ‘til I’d got tired of you. Then, I pro’bly
would‘a killed you. You know that don’cha?”
“I kind’a figured that was where things would’a gone if I
hadn’t got your gun away from you, yes.”
“And you sit there, all safe and unharmed and say you
forgive me?” His tone and face were defiant, his eyes like hot
coals.
“Yes, and I would still be saying it even if you had hurt me.
You see, Charles, I am just another Earther, like you. I was
brought here and given the opportunity to have a life that really
means something. Before I got here, I had a really shitty life, as I
am sure you have had as well. But I stayed with the program of
reorientation, walked through all those shitty things that hurt me
and made my life such a living hell, and discovered something in
the process.
“I don’t get better; my life doesn’t get better until I have
forgiven all those who made my life so shitty. I found that really
hard to do at first, because I was really angry and really hurting
inside, as the result of all that crappy stuff that so many people
put me through. But, as I uncovered more and more abuse in my
life, I began to feel that it was hopeless to ever get my anger and
981
my hate to go away, not to mention ever having a worthwhile and

happy life.
“Finally, after re-experiencing all that stuff, and still not
feeling any better, I tried the forgiveness thing and guess what? It
worked. So I have decided to just keep doing it and so here I am,
letting you know that I forgive you, and hope that you can find that
same forgiveness in yourself.”
Again, he sat staring at me, confused, wanting to be mean
and angry, but unable to find an adequate reason. Finally, his
expression changed to one of snideness.
“Yeah, well you never got beat for hours on end with a belt
and then got locked in the basement, and left there for days,
wondering if they would ever come back and get you!”
“No, I got raped by a neighbor man when I was not quite
three, and then was suffocated until I died, and then dumped,
naked, behind a garbage can in an alley where I revived, lost and
confused and in pain. Abuse, Charles, takes many forms, and
none of them are good, and all of them leave deep scars and a
deep pain that you come to believe will never go away. I have
also been beaten and locked in closets.
“What was done to us as children, Charles, was criminal,
destructive and distorted our thinking, as well as our feelings
about the world and ourselves. Nevertheless, we can heal, we
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can find goodness in life and other people, once we find the
strength to forgive.”
“What for?” He asked, timidly, as though he felt one-uped by
my tale of woe.
“Because I discovered that anger and hatred doesn’t have
much effect on our abusers, if any, but it does poison us and our
lives. All that anger, all that hate, just poisons our bodies, our
minds, our hearts and even our souls. It doesn’t change what
happened one bit, but it sure fucks our lives up. And when that
happens is we become the abusers. For in truth, we are abusing
ourselves with our hate and anger, no one else.
“Because we are human beings, with unique qualities and
talents, we deserve better, especially from ourselves. You
deserve better, Charles. I know that you are an electronics
genius, and a survivalist. Jeeze, Charles, you could be teaching
survival classes, you could be teaching Anchor how to use your
anti-detection device for productive purposes. I mean, you are
one smart dude. You have the mentality and the talent to be
helping people, like you, who have been hurt and have lost their
will to recover from their painful past. Golly, Charles, you could
actually find meaning and purpose in life again, maybe even
peace and joy. I have learned, Charles, that forgiveness is the key
to all that and I want you to know that, and I want you to have
983
that.”
Another tear slid from his eye, and again his demeanor
changed from one of confrontiveness, to one of desperate hope.
“You got this, did you, from all that stuff they make you do?
Getting into that pool of gunk and all, remembering all that pain,
all that fear?”
“Yes, I did. And no, it wasn’t easy, and I didn’t have much
fun doing it. But I am glad that I did. I am glad that I am finally free
of all that pain, all that anger and hatred. The thing is, Charles,
that it is, and always will be your choice as to whether you want to
be free of that for yourself or not. It is not the easy way, Charles,
at least not in the beginning. I wanted to run. Aranon, my
facilitator will vouch for that.” I indicated Aranon, who had been
sitting quietly up to this point.
“It’s true,” he said as he nodded vigorously, smiling.
“Okay,” replied Charles, “so you had a bad time in your life
and you got help here. So what? I ain’t getting into that pool, no
matter what you tell me. You can shoot me, if you want, but I ain’t
doin’ it. I don’t need nothin’ bad enough to gag on that gunk.”
“Charles, you can be free of your pain, your hatred, your
fear, just by deciding to forgive those who have hurt you. I am
sure there are other ways to help you do that without having to
get into the Meathos. Just think about it, okay? You are too smart,
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too capable to spend the rest of your life just marking time,
waiting to die. Promise me you will just think about it, okay?”
“They put you up to this, didn’t they?” He asked, again hiding
his real feelings behind his anger.
“No, Charles,” I replied, honestly. “This was all my own idea.
At first, I wanted to do it just to help myself, but then, when I
learned about you, and what a difficult time you have had and are
having, I wanted to see you and tell you I forgive you so that you
could be released from any remorse in the future. I wanted to take
at least that one burden from you.
“I can’t take the rest, Charles. The rest of your pain you will
need to give up yourself, when you are ready, when you can see
that it will help you. I just wanted you to see that it can help and
that if I can pull myself out of my pain, my hatred, and my fear, so
can you.”
“Yeah, well, thanks, but no thanks,” replied Charles, snidely.
“I know what is true for me, and all that goodness and light shit
never made my life any better, and never will.” He got up and
went to the door, and then turned and looked me in the eye. “You
have no idea what kind’a life I’ve had and the shit I’ve been
through, little lady. I’ve watched my buddies die with big holes in
their bellies, with their bodies ripped to pieces by mortars and
mines, calling out my name, calling out for their moms, for their
985
wives, and I couldn’t save them, I couldn’t make their pain go

away! You think just because some dude fucked you when you
were two that you know about pain? You don’t know nothin’!” With
that he hit the door opener with an angry slap and left the room.
“I guess I didn’t do so well, huh?” I said, as tears slid from
my eyes.
“He’s not ready yet, Christy,” replied Aranon, taking my
hand. “But you planted some very viable seeds, and I have no
doubt that one day he will find his personal power and take it
back, and when he does I am sure he will remember you and he
will be grateful.”
“I thought, a couple of times there, that he felt my
forgiveness, that he saw a ray of hope for himself. I really wanted
him to feel my forgiveness!” I finally allowed myself to cry. My
tears were driven by my sorrow for Charles, and his hardened
spirit, so hurt, so angry, so scared.
“Christy, if you are going to do the work that I do, you are
going to have to come to the realization that you can save no one,
you can only provide assistance to individuals who are ready to
save themselves. How they utilize that assistance is not up to
you, it’s up to them. Your capacity and talent to assist others is
not determined by the recovery of each and every one that you
assist, but rather on your capacity to allow each individual to find
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Kerry Dennis
their own will to survive and to follow though with whatever it

takes to recover from the distortions of their past. If your desire is
to be the knight in shining armor to the lost and desperate souls
being stalked by inner dragons, then be advised, my friend,
sometimes the dragon wins.”
“Have you looked into his future?” I asked, hopefully.
“No. His future belongs to him. We do not look into the future
of the individuals we seek to assist, unless, of course there is the
need to see how their life may affect the future of a society, or a
planet. But even then we don’t look at the details of the
individual’s life, just how their life influences the greater whole.
“The reason for that is, that which you investigate, you
change, simply by investigating it. I believe Earth scientists call it
the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle.”
“Then why do you investigate the far future?” I asked.
“Because we can view trends and consequences. This is not
on an individual scale; this is on a galactic scale. And yes, we are
probably affecting it by investigating it, but not in the same way as
we would affect the life of an individual by investigating their
future. The impact of investigation on combined substances is
much less than the impact of investigation on the particulate, or
individual particles within that substance. The same goes for
races and solar systems as opposed to the individual people who
987
populate them. I have not seen your personal future, Christy.”

“But you said, I wrote a book!” I was getting peeved with him.
“Because I found your book while investigating how your life
affected your planetary culture.”
“So, was it a best seller?”
He gave me a sideways glance and raised an eyebrow. “I
think we need to get you over to your monitoring team so that
they can test out your implant,” he replied, getting up.
“Aw, com’on, Aranon, was it good? Did I do a good job of
writing it?”
He hit the door opener and stepped into the control center,
and I got up and followed, like a good girl, taking two steps for his
one.
“Can you tell me anything about it?” I continued, as we left
the control center and started down the corridor.
“It exists,” he replied, “which I should never have told you,
but it seemed the best thing to do at the time. That’s all you get.”
“Jeeze.” I said. “Well, at least I know what I am going to be
doing when I get back.”
“What’s that?” He asked, slowing down a little so I could
keep up with him without getting out of breath.
“Writing a book,” I said. He nodded and continued down the
corridor.
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Kerry Dennis
After walking for a few minutes in silence, Aranon waved his

hand before a door opener and we entered a room that looked a
lot like central control, only smaller, more cramped. It was packed
with the team that I met at the party at the Boars Head in
Segundo.
Valerie came up to us and smiled at me. “I am so glad you
are getting your wish,” she said. “I think you are one smart cookie,
looking all that stuff up about the Brotherhood and it’s policies. I
am really proud to be on your team.”
“Thanks, but I’m not so sure about my being smart, just
desperate. I‘m glad that you are on my team, Valerie.” I returned
her smile.
“Okay,” she replied, glowing with pride, “I guess we have
some testing to do. Would you come with me, Christy? We have
to place you in a special chamber in order to test your implant.”
She started across the room and I followed her. “This is a time
displacement chamber, so that we can be certain that your
implant will maintain communications in real time for both of us,
regardless of where you are in time.” She pulled open a door and
led me into a room with a table and chair, and a cot.
“Uh, how long do I have to be in here?” I asked, eyeing the
cot.
“Not very long, just a few minutes. Don’t worry, this room will
989
be used for other things as well, and that’s why there is a cot in
here. You will not be locked up for the duration, trust me.” Again
she smiled, and then left the room, closing the door behind her.
There was a definite shift in the pressure of the room once
the door was closed. It felt almost as though the room had been
pressurized, and I could no longer hear the noise from the team in
the other room, although I could see them through a large window
that looked out on the control room. I saw Valerie, and she made
a circle with the thumb and pointer of her right hand and waved it
at me, as if to say everything was ok.
“Can you hear me, Christy?” Said Valerie’s voice inside my
head. It was a very strange sensation, as though my thoughts
were coming to me in her voice. I smiled at her and nodded,
making the same sign with my hand.
Okay, Kiddo, I would like for you to count to ten, slowly, and
say each word out loud.”
“Okay,” I said, and noticed that when I had said it, everyone
smiled and appeared to be clapping. “One, two, three, four, five,
six, seven, eight, nine, ten.”
“That’s great, Christy, you are coming through loud and
clear. Now we are going to activate the time displacement. When
we do, you will no longer be able to see us, but you will be able to
hear me, at least I hope so. “
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Kerry Dennis
Suddenly, the window went fogy and I felt a sense of vertigo,

but it only lasted a second.
“Can you hear me, Christy?” Came Valerie’s voice, not as
clear, but understandable.
“You are not as clear as you were before,” I said, “but I can
hear you.” I could hear cheering in the background.
“Okay, lets see if we can fix that,” she said, and I heard a
series of pops and static and then nothing. “How does this
sound?” Her voice was as clear as it had been in the before.
“Perfect!” I said. “Just as clear as it was when I could see
you.
“Now,” she instructed, “will you please go lay on the cot for a
few minutes?”
“Okay,” I replied, apprehensively. “Why do I need to lay
down?”
“Because we are going to test the implants abilities to alter
your heart rate, among other things, and it would be best if you
were laying down for this part of the test. I can’t see you, Christy,
so I will take your word for it when you tell me you are laying
down.”
I went to the cot and lay down, feeling the sense of tiredness
I had been feeling before reassert itself. Suddenly, I really wanted
to go to sleep.
991
“Okay,” I said, “I’m laying down. I may fall asleep though,

because I suddenly feel really tired.”
“Try not to do that, Christy. I’ll be asking you questions
during this test and I need for you to respond, okay?”
“Okay,” I replied, feeling really weary.
“Okay, this first test will speed up your heart, hopefully. Let
me know if it works.”
My heart began to race and I felt very dizzy. “Okay, I feel it.
Please stop, I am feeling really weird.” Almost immediately, my
heart rate returned to normal and I breathed a sigh of relief.
“All right, Christy, this next test will probably make you feel
like running the four minute mile, but I want you to stay on the cot,
okay?”
“Okay.” Suddenly, I felt warm all over and then I felt
energized and wanted to get up and do something, anything, but I
stayed on the cot. “Yes,” I said, “can you leave a bit of that with
me? It sure beats feeling exhausted.”
“Maybe a little, but we don’t want to generate any problems
with your adrenal system, so it will only be a little.”
“Thanks,” I said as the sense of wanting to run around a
block diminished.
“Okay, Christy. On the table is a book. Please go to it and
turn to page one sixty three and read the second paragraph.”
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Kerry Dennis
“Out loud, or to myself?”

“To yourself would be fine.”
I read the paragraph as asked and then closed the book.
“How was that?” I asked.
“We may need to do a little adjusting there, Christy. Please,
open the book again and read a page or two.”
I reopened the book and started reading. It was a mystery
novel by some English author I didn’t recognize, but it was well
written. I was really getting into the story when she told me that I
could stop.
“Thank you, Christy, for your cooperation. We may need to
do these adjustments from time to time, even when you are back
on Earth, as time has winds and storms just like space, and they
can shift the telemetry a bit. Nevertheless, your implant is working
very well, so I am certain that we will be able to maintain both
audio and visual contact, as well as two way telemetry. Just relax
for a moment while we make a few minor adjustments and then I
will bring you back and let you out, ok?”
I went back to reading the book, by someone called
Lawrence Sanders. It was a little dry, but full of interesting twists
and turns. I was really getting into the story again when the door
opened and Valerie told me that I could come out.
“That was great, Christy. Thank you for being so patient with
993
us. Now we have to weigh you again. Will you come with me
please?”
She led me to the back of the room where a large, electronic
scale stood as though it were an after-thought, and she asked me
to step up on what looked like a stainless steel platform. I did and
she noted the weight on a clipboard.
“It won’t be long now, Christy. You are just a few hundredths
of an ounce off. I’d say less than an hour.” She smiled and helped
me off the weighing platform.
A sense of vertigo flowed through me as I realized that it
wouldn’t be long before I would be saying goodbye to all the
people that I had come to know and love. I looked around for
Aranon and didn’t see him.
“Where’s Aranon?” I asked, feeling suddenly frightened that I
would not get to say my final goodbye to him. It must have shown
on my face, because Valerie became concerned, and put her arm
around me and gave me a gentle hug.
“It’s okay,” she said, in a tone filled with kindness and
understanding. “He’ll be here to see you off.”
“I wish I didn’t have to go,” I said, as tears streamed from my
eyes.
“I know,” she responded, concerned by the tears. “The good
news is, we will never loose touch with you and you will be back!”
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Kerry Dennis
“Yeah,” I said, still not feeling comforted. “Unless I get hit by

a truck next week while crossing the street.”
“If something like that happened, Christy, you would be back
here in a micro-second getting the best care in six galaxies. We
aren’t going to let anything happen to you, and we have more
cards up our sleeves than a riverboat gambler. As long as this
research project continues, you will be safer and better cared for
than the president of the United States. In case of enemy attack,
all he has is a bunker a quarter of a mile beneath the Pentagon.
You, on the other hand, will be on another planet, in the blink of
an eye. Take it from me, Christy, you will be continuously
monitored and will know what is coming, most of the time, before
anyone else.”
“It’s that most of the time that scares me.” I said, still feeling
anxious at the thought that I would soon be back on Earth faced
with the old challenges, the old fears. The distance, in time and
space, between myself, and those I had come to trust and love
would soon be incalculable.
“You have survived, Christy, up until this point, in spite of
conditions and situations that could have ended your life. You are
a survivor. You will be safer from now on than you have ever
been in your life. People who care about you, and will spare
nothing to maintain your health and safety, will be monitoring you.
995
You will be back in thirty days. You are not being abandoned, and
your memory will remain intact.”
“So, kick that fear in the butt and show us what a real trooper
you are,” said Aranon, appearing behind Valerie.
“Aranon,” I said, feeling very needy at that moment. “I am so
scared. I don’t know how to make that go away.” Again, tears
streamed from my eyes.
He moved to my side and knelt before me. He gave me
another warm hug and then kissed me on the forehead. “It’s okay
to be scared, Christy. Of course, this is all very new to you, and all
you have to go by is the way it was before. Trust me, it will be
different. I’ll be talking to you over the link, as often as I am able,
and Valerie will be there for you when I can’t be. You will never
feel alone again, and you will have a magnificent database at your
disposal to assist you, so you will be capable of obtaining
information immediately, as you need it, concerning just about
anything. It isn’t going to be anything like it was before. Can you
believe that, Christy?”
I nodded, still not totally convinced, but willing to give things
the benefit of the doubt.
“That’s my girl!” He said, smiling. He stood and led me back
to the scale. “Lets see what you weigh after all that emotionalism.
You know, nervousness will cause you to loose weight, don’t
996
Kerry Dennis
you?” I stepped on the scale and he read the readout. “Almost

there. Just a few more minutes, unless of course you really get
upset, and then we can send you in just a few seconds.” He did
that Tom Selleck thing with his eyebrows, and then flashed me an
impish smile.
“I can’t imagine how different it will be,” I said, stepping off
the scale. “I know that I am now more than me, with my inner
family and my Anchor family, all able to input their observations,
thoughts and feelings. That’s a bit scary. It will be a challenge to
keep up with everyone’s input.”
“We will not input any information until you ask for it, Christy,
so you needn’t worry about us complicating things. As for your
inner family, yes, I am sure that will be a challenge, but we are
here to help when you need it.”
“I’m gonna have to pretend that I am still hurt for a while, so
that my parents don’t realize that I am no longer broken. I may
even have to play at being emotionally upset for a while, so that
the changes in me don’t seem so stark. I just don’t know how my
parents are going to affect me now, after all this. I don’t know if
the conditions in my home will drive me back to where I was when
I came here or not.”
“We will be there to help you with a lot of that. We can even
learn to read your parents emotional state by monitoring their bio-
997
scans and doing some data tracking. There are many ways that
we will be able to help you, Christy, even though we can’t be
there with you. We can still be there for you.”
“I like your hugs,” I said, sadly. “I will miss them.”
He bent down and gave me another hug. “In thirty days,
Christy, “you will be back. Less than a blink of an eye in the face
of the temporal flux that will separate us. It’s not purgatory,
Christy, it’s your life. It can become whatever you decide for it to
be. You can become anything you decide to become. And behind
those decisions you make, we will be there to facilitate you so that
you can actuate your goals and dreams. It’s your choice, Christy.
What’s it going to be? Thirty days of prison, or thirty days of
exciting discovery?”
“Discovery,” I said, feeling hopeful.
“That’s my girl!” He said, hugging me warmly once again. I
was basking in the attention, wanting more, but knew that it was a
trap.
“I got’a be strong,” I said. “I got’a change my life. I got’a
make a difference. I got’a help save my planet.”
“Yes,” he said softly, as tears filled his eyes. “I believe in
you, Christy. I believe in you, Lynn; I believe in you, Poppet; I
believe in you, Kerry; I believe in you, Chrystlyn. Love each other,
and help each other. Listen to me guys. You need to help each
998
Kerry Dennis
other, and help Christy. Together, you can become a force for
good, or an inmate in a mental hospital. It’s your choice, all of
you. Listen to Christy, because she can talk to us and we can see
a whole lot of things that you don’t see. With all of your support
and our assistance, Christy will have the opportunity to make a
difference for the future of the planet on which you live, maybe
even a big difference in the future of Earth. It’s up to you though.
You have to choose. You will have to choose a lot in the coming
weeks and months. I will help you as much as I can, but you have
to decide what is most important for you. Know that I love you all
and want the best for you. Know that my instructions will never
take you into harm, even though it may seem so sometimes. Trust
Christy to keep you safe and support you through any difficulties
you may encounter. I believe in you guys, all of you, and I will be
there to back you up when you are willing to fight for what is
right.”
“Aranon?” Asked, Lynn. “Will we have to pretend we aren’t
there when we go back?”
“Only on Earth. Here, you can come forward as much as you
need to.”
“But a month is a long, long time,” said, Lynn, whining.
“Hey, little one, you waited years and years to say your piece
and be noticed, a month is just a heartbeat.”
999
“Okay,” she said, with reservations in her tone.

“Step on the scale again, please,” he said.
I was fearful that this was the moment. I stood there,
hesitating, tears welling in my eyes again. Finally, I stepped up on
the platform and watched as the numbers shifted.
“Yep.” He said, in an upbeat tone. “You’re right! It’s time to
go.”
Oh my God! Time to go! Time to go find myself in my bed, in
my own room on Earth. Time to go back to 1968. Star Trek &
Laugh In, Viet Nam, Hippies, Folk Songs, Simon & Garfunkle,
Martin Luther King, racial integration and my metaphysics class
with Master Marty. And then there was Stratton, my off again on
again lover and Erwin Peltz, my partner in metaphysics. There
would be Mom and Dad who both worked, so I would have the
house to myself for a while, and I wouldn’t be expected to do
much. God! This is so scary!
“Come with me, Christy,” he said, and I barely heard him, but
my body followed.
I was led back to the tube that looked like a giant vacuum
tube like they have at the drive-in windows of banks, where you
put your check in the container and put it into the receptacle and a
vacuum pulls it from where you are in your car, to the teller.
Aranon led me into the tube, and we walked on the spongy
1000
Kerry Dennis
material that made up the floor.

“Just lay down, right here, Christy. We have marked out the
position you need to be in. I’ll help you to get adjusted.”
He stood over me, moving an arm here and a leg there. He
moved my head a little and then stood back and looked at me,
and nodded with a smile.
“I’ll be watching every step. It’ll be a bit of a shock at first.
Just stay focused. We will make contact as soon as the transfer is
complete.”
As I lay there on the pillowy surface, my heart was racing
and my emotions were going wild.
“Take deep breaths,” he said. “We are right here. You are
not being abandoned.”
“What do you know?” I said, feeling ever so scared. “Are you
in my skin right now?”
“Trust me! That’s an order! Deep breaths,” he said as he left
the chamber, and I was alone, waiting for the cone at the top to
light up and put me back where I came from.
Finally, the cone did light up and grew brighter and brighter
until I had to close my eyes. Shortly thereafter I felt a shift and
then felt myself lying in my bed. I opened my eyes and saw the
moonlight filtering through my bedroom window. I was back!
I sat up and looked around me. My desk, my book shelves,
1001
my tape recorder, my TV, and of course I was in my own room.

The clock beside my bed read 9:33 and I remembered that I had
begun my meditation, oh so long ago, at about 9:30 pm. A month
or more of experiences shifted through my minds eye and yet it
had become clear that time here had stood still.
“Christy?” Said Aranon. “Speak to me, girl.”
“I hear ya,” I said as I got up and walked around my room.” I
heard cheering in the background. “Good job, guys,” I said,
smiling at the picture I held in my mind of all of them in the control
center standing and thrusting their fists in the air and clapping.
They were my own personal mission control.
Nothing had changed since I had left, except that my hip was
no longer broken. As I wandered around my room, allowing
myself to remember everything that had happened to me while I
was on Anchor, my parents came home from their bowling
league, talking, banging doors, and turning on the TV in the den
for the ten o’clock news. I jumped into bed, startled by their noisy
entry, afraid they would discover me effortlessly walking around.
Finally, I lay back on my pillow, so tired and so glad that I would
be allowed to sleep as much as I wanted to for the next few days.
After all, I had been across the universe and back, and in
between I fought my demons and won. Yes, and I met Aranon,
1002
Kerry Dennis
who guided me and encouraged me and taught me who I am, and

how to look at things in a new light. I met Remmie, who not only
befriended me, and my inner family, but also became my soul
sister. I went on a vision quest through the wilds of an alien planet
and became friends with a fantastic wild cat. I was taken hostage,
almost raped but took a chance, which fortunately, assured my
safety. I met people from other worlds and someone, somewhere,
named their boy Courage, because I suggested it. I met the
Meathos, and Meestra, and discovered my past pain and my past
lives and all of this and more had happened In Less Than A
Second.
1003
There is one thing that has helped me greatly in my life and

in my recovery. Whenever I am feeling down, overwhelmed or just
funky I repeat the Mantram Of Unification. It has not only assisted
me in adjusting my attitude but it has filled my mind and soul with
light.
The Mantram Of Unification

Humanity is one and I am one with them.
I see to love, not hate.
I seek to heal, not hurt.
I seek to serve,
Not to exact due service.
Let pain bring due reward of Light and Love.

Let the Soul control the outer form
And life, and all events
And bring to light the love
That underlies the happenings of the times.
Let vision come, and insight.
1004
Kerry Dennis
Let the future stand revealed.

Let inner union demonstrate and outer cleavages be gone.
Let Love prevail,
Let all Humanity Love.
1005

In Less Than A Second

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In Less Than A Second

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IN LESS THAN A SECOND

One night, while sitting on a rock in the desert yelling at God,

This vortex and I had quite a lengthy conversation, in which I

In 1968 I was twenty-three years old. I was working for my

Master Marty taught me a great deal about the arcane world

was a normal, blistering Arizona summer. I was not paying the

BOOM! I sat bolt upright in bed, totally disoriented, wincing with

several hours. I tried the meditation again. I reached that floaty

“Do you require assistance to ambulate?” She asked,

matter-of-fact. He crossed his arms over his immense chest and

mirroring the question.

place where the walls had seemed to soak up sound like a

talked about, except in science fiction movies, and this

The man on the screen smiled, and listened to my tirade of

Shortly thereafter, another woman, one more my size and

clothing, all neatly folded.

“……….Christy, to you. She will speak to you now.” She

asked finally, feeling silly.

easiest for most races to remember. “For instance, if you touch

door filling back in as she reached the hallway.

Once it started to feel like a trampoline, I decided to stop. My

Aranon ushered me into the circular area, indicating a seat.

thought back to what I had been doing and remembered. “Oh,

emotionally charged behavior, by discovering something that

We roamed, for what seemed like miles, through hexagonal

“Oh,” I replied, thinking over this explanation. “Does that

call them formulas, through which to access the answers to your

and leaned back in his chair. “Aranon, pull up a couple of chairs,

be the answer to my own.”

“Indeed you have,” nodded Dorn, with a pained look, “and

“Ah,” he said, “but you do know. Why else would we be

right away. I want you to send me back a better person. I don’t

Aranon opened the door to my room and led me to the

“Well, I suppose I could figure it out,” he replied, sounding

“You really don’t get it do you?” I asked, doggedly pushing

confused, overwhelmed by the alien-ness of everything,” I

was an angry animal eating me up from the inside out.

When I woke I found myself on a slick hard surface. I looked

Nothing happened. I couldn’t open my mouth, I couldn’t make a

the right places. I smiled broadly at him, feeling as though I had

think you should eat something now.” He went to the food

to then train them in the Art Of Enlightened Thinking. Then, once

water flowed literally out of nowhere, only to refreeze into giant

populated by smiling individuals, forests filled with exotic animals

adult males. “I am sorry that I get scared so easily,” I mumbled,

“Okay,” he said, still smiling, “Let’s get back on point.

believe me, is still there, and we will experience it together.”

I stood beside the pool, dipping my hands in the solution and

advanced than me, but they were “People”.

“Oh yeah?” I quipped, “You seen Arlington Cemetery?”

the substance. Once I got situated, I looked down and saw a

into the whole pool; I imagined myself embracing The Meathos,

apprehension, “Are you sure you want to do that?”

light and voices singing a soft, sweet melody. I felt so accepted,

I awoke with Aranon standing over me, gently shaking my

aside with his fingers and my thoughts cleared.

mister on the commode.”

After I had finished my breakfast, Aranon took me on a long

“No, but I thought that we would be more comfortable on our

his level, and not in a sea of legs punctuated by small, scurrying

levels above us, as we stood at the bottom of a gigantic well that

“Actually, no.” He gave me a sideways grin. “The longest

folks here are not accustomed to leaving the dome except in