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Flirting Formula
Flirting Formula
By Christopher Williamson
Flirting Formula
flirting secrets every guy must know
Except as expressly permitted with written approval by Leocolour Pty Ltd, no part
of this electronic book may be copied, photocopied, reproduced, republished,
licensed, distributed, displayed, posted, translated, altered, redistributed or
broadcast in any way.
Preface
”The great question that has never been answered, and which I
have not yet been able to answer, despite my thirty years of
research into the feminine soul, is ’What does a woman want?’”
– Sigmund Freud
Why does dating seem so confusing and illogical? No matter how much we think
about the dynamics between men and women, nothing seems to make sense.
Men have always asked themselves questions such as:
What defining characteristic makes women love some men and never notice others?
Why do women say one thing but mean another?
Why is it so hard to start conversations with women?
Do similarities or opposites attract?
What really attracts women?
Maybe famous psychiatrist Sigmund Freud couldn’t answer the question, “What
does a woman want?” but you can be certain by the end of this book you’ll have
the answer.
Contents
Chapter 1: How To Meet Women.......... 7
Fear.......................................................................................................... 7
Approach Excuses ................................................................................. 7
Why Men Approach Women ............................................................... 9
‘Real Man’ Test: Will He Talk To Me? ................................................. 9
Women’s Ultimate Fantasy..................................................................10
Powerful Beliefs ....................................................................................11
Power Approach Technique ................................................................11
Bad Opening Lines In Clubs................................................................13
Where to Meet Women ........................................................................14
Hesitation ..............................................................................................15
Approach Anxiety Action Plan ...........................................................15
Step 1...................................................................................................16
Step 2...................................................................................................17
Step 3...................................................................................................17
Continuing Steps ..................................................................................18
The Bar Bet ............................................................................................18
Persistence .............................................................................................19
Gradual Improvement .........................................................................19
Start Conversations with Everyone ....................................................20
Indirect Approaches .............................................................................21
Classrooms .........................................................................................22
Parties .................................................................................................22
Clubs and Bars ...................................................................................23
Chapter 2: How To Talk To Women ... 24
Section 1: Flirting Introduction............................................................25
What Is Flirting? ................................................................................25
Why Is Flirting Important?...............................................................26
Interpretation .....................................................................................27
Flirting Instincts.................................................................................28
Anti-Flirting .......................................................................................28
Flirting vs. Rapport ...........................................................................29
Section 2: Flirting Components ...........................................................31
Verbal Flirting....................................................................................31
Non-Verbal Flirting...........................................................................34
Section 3: The “Playful Conflict” Flirting Formula ...........................38
Playfully Provoke ..............................................................................38
Chapter 1: How To
Meet Women
Fear
No it’s not heights, spiders or even the dark. Men’s ultimate fear is starting
conversations with women. For most men, approaching women is close to the
scariest thing they’ll ever do in their entire life. I’m not kidding!
Most men don’t start out afraid of approaching women. There’s always a story
behind it. One day a man decides to approach a woman but instead of getting the
outcome he expected he is embarrassed, humiliated or laughed at. He concludes
that all women dislike him. It only takes one harsh rejection to cause a man to
never approach another woman for the rest of his life.
Living this life of unhappiness, he sometimes “gets lucky” with the occasional
girlfriend, but she’s usually not someone he truly deserves. Unfortunately he
doesn’t believe he can do any better and never bothers trying ever again. Well,
I’ve got news for these men. Even naturals and super-stud Casanovas get
rejected. Everyone gets rejected; it’s part of life.
The solution is not to avoid rejection but to understand that it’s normal and to
deal with it. Unfortunately, the only way to get rid of this intense emotional state
called fear is to face it. I know you didn’t want to hear that, but this is the only
real way to end your fears forever. The solution to this problem will be explained
later. First we must understand what really stops us from making a move.
Approach Excuses
Let me tell you a story.
Away for the summer at his beach house, John noticed a woman he wanted to
meet. John walked down towards the waves as she played around near the
water’s edge, laughing and giggling with her friends. Witnessing the potential
interaction, I saw that the group of women knew exactly what was going on.
By just lingering around near the water for a long time, looking stupid in the
process, John managed to make the girls feel uncomfortable, dampening his
chances should he eventually speak. But he never actually went over and talked
to the group of women. When he came back I asked him, “What happened?” He
replied, “I looked at her, now she needs to do the rest!”
Sadly John didn’t understand what the role of a masculine man was. He was so
fragile he couldn’t even admit he didn’t have the guts to approach them. Do you
think these women would start a conversation first?
No.
Part of being a masculine male involves being the leader, decision-maker and
initiator of all interactions. If you don’t go over and talk to a woman it’s very
unlikely she will come over and start a conversation with you. What causes this
fear is an imaginary voice in one’s head.
Excuses come from doubt, from not knowing the outcome of a situation, from
lack of confidence. With this state of mind men invent outrageous excuses to
keep themselves from meeting new women and simultaneously protect their
fragile ego.
Excuses allow the ego to feel safe and unbroken, reinforcing the view that
nothing could have been done in the particular situation anyway. The brain
becomes so creative that it makes up an excuse for every single situation where
it’s possible to meet women, so men never take action. If you make excuses, you
are only cheating yourself.
These excuses are rubbish! Women in relationships are often flattered to have
men approach them and a simple “Thanks anyway” ends the conversation.
Ninety-nine point 999 per cent of the time men won’t do anything, even if they’re
right next to their girlfriend when you talk to her. And finally, women want to be
swept off their feet as if “by magic”, so there is no excuse not to interrupt her
daily routine.
Men also raise and lower their standards within seconds, claiming that women
are too attractive or not attractive enough. This excuse simply becomes an
endless loop that ultimately gets men nowhere. “If you continue to do the same
things, you’ll always get the same results.”
If you continue to make these excuses to yourself, don’t expect your dating
situation to ever change. The ability to change your thinking and beliefs also
changes your results in the dating world. So what happens when men don’t feed
their minds any excuses to meet women? They freeze.
“Oh, I want to meet this woman. Umm, what do I say? I need something creative to say.
What can I say, what can I say?”
While the man thinks of something to say the woman gets up and leaves, and the
man misses his opportunity.
In the eyes of women, if men cannot perform these three steps they are not
attractive.
In order to see if men possess the qualities they seek women set up favourable
situations to test men’s masculinity, whether they’re consciously aware of it or
not.
One test a woman uses to filter out weak men is to see if her beauty intimidates
them. Do you think men are considered masculine if they are scared in the
presence of a beautiful woman? Heck, if a man’s scared of a woman how’s he
ever going to protect her? Your duty as a man is to approach the woman and
make the first contact with her.
If you’re not willing to walk up to a woman and open your mouth because you’re too
scared, then she already knows you’re not the man she’s looking for. Period.
This may seem cruel but it’s the harsh reality of attracting women you’ve never
met before. Don’t wait for a go signal like eye contact or someone to introduce
you. Just take action.
Do you feel even more intimidated by the thought of approaching an extremely
attractive woman? The more beautiful the woman, the harder it is for a man to
start a conversation with her. This is just one of the ways women filter out men
that don’t fit their image of the ideal man.
Exceptionally beautiful women wear the most stylish clothes, coolest sunglasses
and sexiest tans, and often don’t smile when walking through the world.
Why?
Their image screams, “stay away”, and less confident men are often so
intimidated by this aura that they decide to do nothing.
This sneaky strategy can be employed by a woman to filter out the less confident
men from ever approaching her, ultimately saving her lots of time. She only
wants to date the most masculine and fearless partners possible.
The same rules apply in isolated settings. If they’ve been talking in front of a
roasting fire with romantic lighting and seductive music, the man must still
make the first move or nothing will happen. Even if women are ready and
willing they almost never take the first step.
It’s all part of testing men. If men can’t initiate and escalate the situation, women
won’t be interested. Waiting for the man to lead allows the woman to assess the
sort of man she’s dealing with and gives him the opportunity to attract her.
Women are drawn to men’s leadership qualities. Their instinctive habits are to
passively observe males with strong masculine behaviour. They’ll watch men as
they approach and compete, rather than walk around and start these interactions
themselves. For these reasons men must approach women.
The stories always go something like this: a knight in shining armour, risking his
life, rides to the castle, defeats the dangerous creature and saves the princess
from her misery.
Men may find these tales childish and stupid, but to women these stories take on
greater meaning. They love these sagas of romantic heroes facing danger, risking
their lives and leading women away to live happily ever after. The story of
Prince Charming is the model for women’s ideal man. Women want to be “swept
off their feet”. Women want to be approached.
Powerful Beliefs
The successful man holds only powerful positive beliefs that allow him to
approach beautiful women everywhere without even hesitating.
After having enough positive experiences to reinforce their beliefs men lock
powerful beliefs into their minds. These powerful beliefs are the only things that
separate success from failure.
Positive Beliefs:
Some of these beliefs may seem arrogant but that’s because success often breeds
arrogance. Once men experience success the power often goes to their heads. But
after a time men go from shy, to arrogant and finally, humble.
Whether a man stays arrogant or becomes humble, no man can just believe
“women love me” without some sort of experience reinforcing their belief. So to
start transforming these beliefs we will now explore the powerful technique used
to approach women confidently and without fear of rejection.
Putting the pressure on yourself by saying that “you must get this girl” would
make anyone extremely nervous. If you simply change your mindset when
thinking about women you take the pressure off and allow yourself to start
conversations with them easily. A great way to start approaching women is to
find one thing that you sincerely want to know and use it to initiate
conversations.
Club
Hey guys, what time is this place closing?
Hey, do you guys know who the DJ is?
Hey, do you know what this song is called?
Hey guys, have you tried vodka and cranberry juice? Is it nice?
Shopping Mall
Hey, where’s the closest coffee shop around here?
Hey, where’s the best shop with sexy clothes for guys?
Super Market
Hey, what tastes better oranges or mandarins?
Hey, is it just me or is it cold in here?
Anywhere
Hey, I just bought these jeans and was wondering if I made the right decision.
What do you think?
Hey, I was thinking of getting this tattoo drawn on my upper back, (show
picture of tattoo) what do you think?
Hey, what’s the time? (careful it's hard to come across natural with this one)
Ask her anything, but the idea is to disassociate you from trying to “get results”.
You’re not trying to get her number, kiss her or impress her. Your only goal is to
learn from the experience.
This mindset takes the pressure off getting results. When your goal is to learn
from the experience you can’t fail because no matter what happens you’ll always
learn something. Opening your mouth and saying something is better than
saying nothing at all. Here’s the difference between a negative and positive
mindset in these situations.
Mindset
This technique is very powerful in helping men get over their initial fear of
approaching women for the first time. Some might argue that using a sincere
question is manipulation because you’re trying to get something from the
woman indirectly. Yes, you are trying to get the experience of approaching
women you’ve never spoken to.
If you have a question or opinion you sincerely want answered, there should be
no problem approaching a woman, because you’re not putting pressure on
yourself to get results. Use this concept as a set of training wheels to get you
started approaching women today.
Almost every man has used this line when he is scared and has run out of things
to say. Verbalising these words can quickly make you seem just like every other
man out there.
What’s she suppose to say? “No, please don’t buy me a drink”. Men approach
women in bars and clubs using this pathetic icebreaker thinking they have a
great technique. Not only is this line used all the time but also the implication
behind the line makes you seem weak.
THAT MEANS: his self-esteem is so low that believes he needs to buy me a drink to keep
my attention and he only likes me for my looks because he hasn’t even spoken to me yet.
Oh well I’ll take the drink and maybe even thank him but I’ll head back over to my friends
straight afterwards.
Sadly some men believe this is the greatest flirting technique ever invented. Just
don’t be surprised when she takes your drink, thanks you, and disappears.
Everyday Scenarios
Just by picking the right time and day you’ll get a completely different group of
people in the same place. First decide what you’re looking for.
Online Dating
One great way to practice flirting and get a real feel for talking with women is to
join some dating sites. With millions of people worldwide looking for the perfect
match, why not? Many online dating sites have instant messaging (IM). This is
different from email, where you send a message and get a reply one, two or three
days later. IM allows you to talk to women that are online now.
You look at a woman’s profile on the website, check if she is someone you want
to talk to and then click the link to get started. You type messages and get a text
reply only seconds later. It’s basically a simulated conversation where you type
messages back and forth in the comfort of your home.
Would there be any attractive women on these sites? You’d be surprised. The Internet
isn’t just for techno-whiz people any more. Nowadays millions of people are
trying out online dating services – yes, even beautiful women.
Hesitation
If you hesitate to approach women your mind will come up with more and more
reasons why you should stay away.
A good general rule is to not even think about it. Just start walking towards the
woman and ask her a curious, sincere question. The longer you wait the harder it
will be to get started. You must be 100 per cent certain you’re going to approach
or else you won’t do it.
• Meeting women
• Dating women.
Even if you’re not dating women maybe you’re still meeting them. But if you’re
not meeting new women on a regular basis there is no chance of dating them.
So I want to address how to approach and meet women you’ve never talked to
before.
Often the reason we feel anxious is because we want something from the
situation and we’re afraid of failure. The mentality is, “I’ve got to get this
number/date or else I’m a loser.”
I’m about to outline a very powerful way to overcome that fear, explode your
confidence and successfully meet women.
I don’t want you to go to clubs or bars, for a specific reason. They’re too loud.
Women will be socializing in large groups, which will intimidate most men, and
even if you do approach a group the women won’t be able to hear what you say
because of the music.
If you’re going to a shopping mall between Monday and Friday you’ll find more
women there between 3 and 5 pm. If you’re planning on going down Saturday or
Sunday be there around 12 to 2 pm.
What I’m going to give you now is an exact step-by-step guide to action. If you
follow this guide you cannot fail.
Step 1
If you have a watch, hide it, then approach a male. Yes, you are going to
approach a man! There is nothing sexual about this; it’s about proving a point.
Simply approach a man and ask him the time.
As human’s we have an amazing ability to learn from experience, and it’s much
more effective than simply learning from reading. If you can learn from an
experience and feel the emotion associated with that action you’ll learn a lot
more (and faster) than just reading from books.
What we are doing here is the “power approach” concept, which is asking people
sincere questions.
You must ask an individual something you genuinely want to know. Make sure
you don’t know the time when you ask the question or you’ll look stupid. A
sincere wish to know will come across cool and calm in your voice, body and
words.
The reason we’re asking a guy first is to show you how easy this task can be
when you ask someone you’re not sexually interested in. There is no fear, anxiety
or pressure on you.
There is no fear of rejection, because you never wanted anything from this man
in the first place (except to know the time)!
Now wouldn’t it be great to harness this energy and attitude when speaking to a
woman you are actually interested in?
Step 2
Approach a woman you don’t find attractive and ask her, “Can you tell me which
is the best coffee shop around here?” Yes an older woman or somebody that you
wouldn’t particularly like to meet from first impressions.
When you have her reply, just say, “OK, thanks, bye!”
Easy!
This is exactly how you should act around women you do like.
By performing the first two steps you’ve already stepped outside your comfort
zone, talking to people you don’t know. Many people find it difficult to even do
this.
If you find it hard to complete these steps, stop for a minute and look at the
significance they could have on the rest of your life. Think what a wonderful
girlfriend or exceptional wife you could find by just taking the time to boost your
confidence. Aren’t these easy steps worth that happiness?
Step 3
Approach a woman you do find attractive and ask her, “Hey, what are the best
clothing stores for guys around here?”
And you just want to sincerely know this, which makes it natural and cool.
But if you don’t want to sincerely know where the best clothes for guys are,
you’ll come across as fake and most likely get an awkward response. In this case,
find a similar question to discover your own way of acting natural during
conversations with women.
Continuing Steps
If you do these steps you’ll have already done more than most men will ever do,
but there’s one final step.
Approach a woman you find attractive and ask her, “Do you know what time
(your shopping centre name) closes today?”
Listen to her reply, then say, “OK. Thanks. So what are you doing here today?”
Because these steps seem so simple and straightforward most men won’t do
them. Very few people actually follow direct instructions because they’re lazy or
don’t think they’re necessary. They think, “I know how to talk to other guys I
don’t need to do that!”
But they’re missing the point. It’s about learning from the emotions associated
with the experience to build your confidence. If you can’t fearlessly approach
women use these steps.
It can be very difficult to motivate yourself to approach women. And you need a
kick-start.
Take a mate or a few friends to a bar or club and place bets – yes, that means
money! – on who will get the most numbers, kisses, dates or whatever. Whoever
wins gets the stash at the end.
Powerfully changing the intent of the situation will give you a new approach to
the whole thing. How would you act if you knew you just needed to walk up to
women to get their numbers in a casual, almost indifferent way, because your
intention is to “not lose 50 bucks?” Powerful stuff.
Persistence
The quality of persistence is one of the most valuable characteristics a man can
have. It’s the attitude of someone that doesn’t give up when things look like
they’re not working out.
He fights on and usually finds success, just around the corner, when the average
man would give up. Had he stopped he would never have found success.
Persistence will help you progress quickly when you start putting these
techniques into action.
Frequently, women act cold or laugh at men while they talk to women. This
especially happens with very attractive women. Of course this is where most
men give up, feeling uncomfortable with the situation and assuming the women
dislike them.
Well, I can verify from many past experiences that, if a man persists and
continues to interact with a woman who has shown him no signs of interest, she
eventually warms to him and starts liking him.
Women often use such behaviour as a shield or a way of weeding out the weaker
men. The stronger men know exactly what they want and are willing to hang in
there. These women are testing for true masculinity by throwing them the
hardest tests in the very beginning. By passing them, the men prove they are the
real deal, true masculine men.
Now this doesn’t mean you should stalk women even though they’ve made it
perfectly clear they don’t want you around. Persistence when meeting new
women means not even considering rejection and working towards finding
someone that is of interest to you – rather than wishing somebody will like you.
Can you see the difference there? Learn to persist and you’ll quickly push past
the first signs of failure to find success.
Gradual Improvement
Men often get upset if the first conversation they start with a woman doesn’t turn
into a date. Listen very carefully. It’s very unlikely your first meeting with a
woman will turn into a date.
Understand things will go wrong at times; it’s part of the process. Ideas don’t
always go according to plan. Instead of focusing on getting results, focus on
getting experience. When you realise how powerful this principle is and utilise it
correctly, success will come. Think about your situation this way:
Tomorrow you’ll try something new, learn from that experience and grow.
Whatever it is that you choose to develop, it will only make you stronger
through experience.
Some men can readily strike up a conversation with another guy, but they just
can’t approach women.
They often become very picky and talk their way out of meeting women – for
example, by finding almost invisible faults in their appearance. They’ll avoid
talking to any woman except someone that resembles their dream girl.
Unfortunately, when they actually see someone that resembles their dream girl,
they’re so out of practice they freeze up and are completely lost for words.
This becomes a never-ending circle where they rarely ever meet new women.
Don’t make this mistake. Just make a habit of talking to everyone you cross paths
with on a day-to-day basis.
Men often wonder how to stop an attractive woman on the street. A simple
“Hello” as you walk past is enough to build your confidence – and if you’re
ready, stop her to get her number.
Over time it’ll become “only natural” to talk to beautiful women everywhere,
allowing you to date the women you always thought were reserved for the rich
and famous. Build your confidence, develop your masculine side, and success is
inevitable.
Most men spend their lives waiting for the right woman to fall right into their
lap. While this idea sounds appealing, you’ll usually end up with a woman
you’re not happy with or even worse, no woman at all.
Women are looking for men who are willing to take risks and show their
courage. While trying to gain a woman’s attention indirectly or from a
Indirect Approaches
Social proof is an interesting piece of psychology that affects every human.
Everyday we are faced with hundreds of decisions to make:
To help us make these decisions we look to people we trust and see what they
are doing and follow them. Because we have so many decisions to make, our lives
become much easier if someone makes decisions for us.
The reason leaders are so valued within our society is because they are rare and
stand apart from the majority of people. Jay Abraham, a marketing legend that
understood human psychology once said, “People are silently begging to be led."
So if you can lead others and influence them, you can influence women you’re
trying to date.
Distant flirting is only useful to make women notice you in situations that aren’t
favorable for direct one-on-one encounters.
Here are several example scenarios you could use social proof to get a woman’s
attention. It won’t always be necessary and won’t always produce the results you
want but if you find yourself in a situation where there’s a lot of distractions
distant flirting can work. The best three places for distant and indirect flirting
are:
Classrooms
Parties
Club and Bars
Classrooms
Scenario: You’re in a learning environment and the woman is on the other side of the
room.
You can make eye contact if she’s looking but there’s a much more powerful way
to make yourself stand out from the crowd. Using your most confident and loud
voice simply ask an interesting question, make a funny joke or voice your
opinion on something to the teacher. By simply saying anything you’re standing
out from the crowd and projecting confidence in front of a group. If the funny
comment makes 25 people laugh that’s great social proof for the woman when
you introduce yourself after class.
THAT MEANS: he’s funny, intelligent, social and everyone likes him. If everyone
likes him then I think I like him too.
Parties
Scenario: The woman is at the party but is always crowded with other people.
While you can’t make jokes that everyone at the party can hear you can still use
social proof to your advantage at a house party. People tend to stay for extended
periods of time during house parties so you have more opportunities to delay
speaking to your woman of interest.
If the woman is hard to get hold of, speak to all of her friends. Introductions
build your social proof and allow you to intercept her conversations with the
people you’ve spoken to previously. This way the friends you’ve spoken to
happily introduce you and build social proof for you automatically. “Oh Sarah,
this is John, he’s really cool.”
THAT MEANS: my friend, who I love and trust, likes this guy.
If she likes him then so do I.
This technique isn’t necessary but it can give you an edge over the other guys
who’re competing for the same girl. This way when the woman is talking to
another man you tell her friend (someone she trusts) that he’s no good for her
and make her friend pull the woman back to your circle. This flirting technique
improves your chances of succeeding in very competitive situations.
Clubs and bars are more dangerous that house parties. Everyone is a stranger
and there are hundreds of people in a very small venue. So how can you impact
some distant flirting in clubs and bars?
Flirting with her friends, while ignoring the woman you want.
Why would you ignore the woman you want? It’s much easier to get the
attention of a woman who’s not getting any. If the woman knows she’s the
most attractive woman in the group she wonders why she’s not getting any
attention. Remember, what is not earned is not valued. Again, when her friends
like and accept you so does she.
HE JUST: walked up to our group and gave everyone attention but ignored me.
You must remember social proof only works because other people like you.
While women can easily decide to like you because their friends do it’s even
easier for them to dislike you because their friends do. Only use social proof in
sticky situations where direct flirting isn’t possible.
If you can’t make anyone respond positively to you don’t try this technique until you
have more social experience.
Chapter 2: How To
Talk To Women
Before you can really understand what works to attract women you must first
understand why it works. Flirting Basics concentrates on what flirting really
is and how it works. The four sections are:
Here you’ll learn exactly what flirting is and why it’s necessary to attract the
women you’ve always wanted. You’ll learn a lot about female psychology
and how they determine their partners.
This one page summary, gives you an overview of flirting and how to
apply it to every single situation including the 4 formula components to make
flirting work properly.
This section focuses on important types of flirting. It not only explains why
these techniques work, the complex interpretations that make women feel
attracted to this behavior, but it also contains dozens of step-by-step
examples that you can start using right away.
To get the most out of this section take notes. You’ll retain double the
information and start to get results twice as fast by writing things down.
Often date opportunities are missed because men don’t “get the message” and
never realize that woman are interested. Knowledgeable friends watch these
interactions and say, “So did you get her number? She was really into you!” The
man surprisingly replies, “But she didn’t say she was!”
Most men find it extremely hard to believe that flirting makes them look
powerful and irresistible in the eyes of women. Whether men realize it or not,
for women flirtatious communication is the equivalent of a woman’s beautiful
looks for men.
If women are attracted to flirting the same way men are attracted to beautiful
women why can’t they just give men a hint? If we swap the scenario, it’s like
saying: “I’ll keep dating you but just loose 7 pounds, wear this sexy dress from
now on and put on more make up.” Not a very effective strategy is it?
Both men and women are looking for partners that already have these qualities.
Men want women who look beautiful and women want masculine men who
know how to flirt. To effectively meet, date and keep women, men must learn
how to flirt.
Think about how you nurtured friendships with the people in your life. I
doubt you and your best friend grew an incredibly strong bond by simply
sharing experiences, fears, memories, secrets and other personal information
with one another.
Although personal experiences build relationships you can’t expect to build trust
and togetherness on that level with someone you’ve just met. When we meet
people for the first time our interactions should be light-hearted, fun and playful.
Once our impressions are made and we enjoy the company of another person we
begin to open up to them and nurture that relationship.
But when trying to attract women, leaving a stunning first impression is the
hardest part of the whole experience. Both men and women have been
socially conditioned to act very reserved around strangers and acquaintances.
The problem is if you act like a stranger around new women, that is all you’ll
continue to be-- a stranger.
So how do you talk to beautiful women and make them want you more than
anything in the world? What is the driving force responsible for leaving an
unforgettable first impression on women and the true essence of flirting?
Emotion.
Let me ask you a question. Why do you think women are addicted to romantic
novels and soap operas while these forms of media repel most men? They are
full of emotion. Women are unconsciously drawn to these media forms the same
way men turn their heads and watch a beautiful woman enter the room.
Women are attracted to an emotional connection; men are attracted to physical beauty.
Novels and soap operas wouldn’t be read or broadcasted if they didn’t contain
conflict, drama, tension and emotion. So if women are actually addicted to strong
emotion doesn’t it seem logical to use this form of communication to attract
women?
If they think differently, then they talk and communicate completely differently
as well. In order to get women to feel sexually attracted to you, you need to
speak differently-- you need to flirt.
If you are not having success with women then obviously it’s time to try
something different. In order to be phenomenal with women you need to make
sure you learn to speak their language. The goal of flirting is to attract women
and make them realize you have all the qualities they’re looking for.
Interpretation
Let’s say you’ve been talking to a woman for several minutes and you pinch
her hat straight off her head and she tries to snatch it back from you as you
constantly hide it behind your back, smiling and laughing. Does this seem like
an absurd thing to do? You’re saying, “Won’t that screw up my chances of
dating her?” In fact, by doing this you’ll most likely increase your chances of
dating the woman. Why do you think this simple act would be so powerful in
attracting women?
It’s not what you say or do, but the meanings behind a
statement or action that make women find you irresistible.
No matter what you do, whether it’s show up late, laugh at her, buy her gifts,
compliment her, grab her hand, smile at her or turn away, women are
interpreting what these things mean.
HE JUST: playfully took my hat off my head and made me chase him to get it back.
THAT MEANS: He is very confident, funny, secure, in control, hard to get, playful
and really fun! He’s not just interested only in my looks because he’s not sucking up to
me like all the other guys. He’s actually kind of mysterious and I’m not really sure if he
likes me or not. I like this guy.
All the flirting techniques throughout this book are designed to project powerful
qualities to which women are attracted. Women love confidence so act in a way
that shows you’re confident. Even simple acts without words, such as stealing
her hat, project many powerful characteristics about you.
Flirting Instincts
To understand flirting better think of it in terms of a courting ritual. Just like
other animals look for the biggest tusks, most colorful wings or physical
strength, a woman looks for a man with enough confidence to protect her.
Instead of colors or tusks think of humans as using their voices as a complex
courting process designed to attract the opposite sex.
Anti-Flirting
The biggest mistake men make when interacting with beautiful women is
speaking emotionless conversation.
When men hang around with their friends they laugh, make jokes, have fun and
don’t take things too seriously, but strangely when a man suddenly finds himself
interested in a beautiful woman he usually becomes very reserved.
He stops laughing
He stops making jokes
He stops teasing
He stops having fun
He stops being flirtatious.
Why?
Why do men change their actions around women usually without even realizing
it? Men are afraid to lose their only chance with a particular woman and that
ultimately turns them into Mr. Serious Man. Men get so nervous talking to
beautiful women that they lose all creativity and can’t make interesting
conversation. Fearful that they might say something rude or challenging they
resort to boring “walking on egg shells” conversations, which results in no
emotion. While men can tell you that it’s important to not be boring when
interacting with women, they don’t even realize they’re doing it. Remember this
simple law.
Men have such a strong “I must have this girl” attitude that the more they desire
a woman, the more serious and boring they become in their poor attempt to
date them.
Although films and television strongly encourage the idea of begging women, it
doesn’t work. These values are used to evoke emotion for the movie experience
and in some cases suggest that buying into this behavior leads to success. It
always seems like Mr. Romantic is doing the right thing by standing outside a
balcony window every night singing love songs, reading poetry and bringing
flowers until his dream girl finally falls in love with him.
While these actions may seem romantic and work in movies, we don’t live
in the movies; we live in the real world. Women can smell manipulative
men miles away and don’t respect their child-like behavior.
Remember always acting playful and silly around your brothers and sisters
when you were growing up? Whether you were older or younger usually
determined who was in control of the playing. If you were older, you’ll
probably recall calling your siblings harmless names, hiding their toys and
making them beg for them back.
But unfortunately as men grow into adults they forget their playful instincts and
try to “make logical sense of everything.” Before reading this book you may have
heard of the term “flirting” but never really understood what it was or thought it
wasn’t necessary to attract women. As you learn the flirting techniques within
this book you’ll recall other times during your life when you behaved like this.
Remember them and bring them back.
about things you have in common or experiences, you are building rapport.
The longer you talk to someone and discuss a wide variety of topics the more
rapport you build.
Rapport is how you constantly nurture and grow your relationships with friends,
family and anyone with which you come in contact. The most common mistake
is starting with rapport and trying to build a sexual attraction later on. Here’s the
simplest way to remember how to interact in any given situation.
It’s the information about yourself that helps build relationships – your name,
job, dreams, hobbies, interests and memories-- but it’s the emotions you evoke
through your personality that sparks attraction-- your confidence, security, sense
of humor, leadership, mystery and playfulness.
Never try and build rapport without first being flirtatious, fun and playful.
Without showing proof that you’re desirable she has no reason to be interested
in you. Nothing has set off the attraction.
Most men have the urge to get into these questions first and then try to be
playful and flirtatious, attempting to make her sexually aroused after they
have already become friends. This rarely works. Instead, you’re about to
learn how to become irresistible with flirtatious communication.
55% of flirting is body language, 38% on is your voice characteristics and only 7%
is what you actually say.
Verbal Flirting
Voice Tone
Voice Volume
Voice Speed
Voice Smoothness
Spoken Words
Finding the right words to say to women continues to be the hardest thing for
men to overcome. Comedians often say, “It’s not what you say, but how you say
it” and they are completely right. A single word response such as “What?” can be
interpreted dozens of ways depending on the characteristics of the voice. It could
be angry, surprised, uninterested or curious. Say, “what” in using each of these
emotions and note the difference in your voice. If you want to successfully flirt
with women stop thinking about the right words and start to deliver your words
in a confident and irresistible manner.
Below are the verbal flirting characteristics that are responsible for attracting
women.
Voice Tone
Women often say that deep voices are extremely sexy. Deep voices are sexy
because they represent a cool, fearless, in control personality. A deep
masculine voice is universally more attractive to women and helps distinguish
your voice from all others. This sort of voice becomes very important in
isolated and private settings when you’re together with women. How to
deepen your voice:
You don’t need to have an extremely deep voice but it should be deep enough to
communicate that you’re comfortable in the presence of women. If you notice
when you talk to women your voice becomes squeaky from nervousness use this
technique to compose your voice.
Voice Volume
Sometimes for fun I ask women what they like about men. While consciously
women want their men to be, “nice, caring, romantic, etc”, unconsciously they
want men who are masculine. When I ask what they like, these women
respond with things like:
While from first glance these qualities may all seem different they are in fact all
the same. Unconsciously women want confident men.
Part of a confident voice is the volume you project. Confident men flirt with
loud, strong and clear voices. Unconfident men speak with soft, weak and
muffled voices that project fear and low self-esteem. If you want to get the
attention of women start speaking with a louder voice.
If women intimidate you, chances are your voice is very soft. Boost your voice to
a volume that “seems” too loud and you’ll speak at a comfortable volume.
Because you’re not use to speaking at this volume it will seem very loud; don’t
worry, practice makes perfect.
Voice Speed
Public speaking is a great fear for most people. When somebody stands up to
speak you can tell exactly how confident they are just by the speed of their
voice. When we talk to our friends we speak in a cool calm voice and at a
reasonably slow pace . If you hear a terrified person make a speech against
their will, you’ll hear the fear in their voice. Unconfident people speak at an
unnaturally fast pace to “get it over and done with”. They are so
uncomfortable at public speaking that they rattle off their speech so fast most
people have trouble getting the main points.
Just by listening to the pace of your voice women can determine if you’re
nervous. For men who are terrified at meeting women here’s a great tip:
Speak at half the speed you think you should be talking and you’ll most likely
be talking at a natural pace.
Voice Timing
Comedians are funny because they deliver their jokes with great timing. Learn to
add emphasis, pauses, pace changes and fluctuating vocal tone.
If you want to know exactly how to talk to women study some of the most
confident public speakers and coaches of our time. Go to seminars and listen to
confident people speak on TV, noting the characteristics of the speakers.
A lot of men say they know what makes a confident voice and how to project one
but when it comes time to approach women and use this confident voice they
freeze up. Just knowing something doesn’t make you an expert; you must put
what you know into practice.
Spoken Words
The words you speak have very little impact on your ability to attract
women. Having said that there are words or lines you can say that will
repel women so fast you won’t know where she’s gone.
Lines that define women as sexual objects, creatures of desire or nothing but a
shell of physical beauty don’t work. You can’t flirt with women by being too
direct about your intentions. “Hey cutie,” “babe,” “hot stuff” are terrible lines for
first impressions. As mentioned before, women interpret the meaning behind
your words, so think about these words from a woman’s perspective. Whenever
in doubt always use the formula below designed to transform action into
meaning.
THAT MEANS: he’s only interested in my looks. I know this because he’s never met
me before and doesn’t know anything about me. If he’s saying things like this without
getting to know me then he just wants to sleep with me.
Having said that, there are exceptions to every rule. Some men can walk up to
women and have them charmed by saying the above phrases. Usually these
men have much more experience and know what they’re doing. In learning to
flirt for the first time realize that everything can work when you understand
the deeper meaning behind your actions.
When a friend talks about the success he’s had he’ll tell his friends the lines he
used rather than what he did and how he acted. These friends then go and
tryout their newly found pickup lines only to get harshly rejected. They
conclude the lines don’t work and give up. If they realized that flirting is more
about the delivery than the lines, everything would make sense to them.
Non-Verbal Flirting
Throughout the next several chapters you’ll discover many examples and
illustrated diagrams of verbal and non-verbal flirting you can use to attract
women. But before we explain flirting during steps of the dating game, it’s
necessary we highlight the important non-verbal aspects all women notice even
before you open your mouth.
Body Language
Body language is how you communicate your feelings through your eyes, facial
gestures, stance, posture and movements. It’s called body language because it’s a
universal language that all people can understand no matter what language
they speak.
An angry person frowns, yells, and makes fast agitated movements while a sad
person moves very little, is very quiet and curls up into a ball, hiding from the
world. Body language is significant because the best body language interpreters
in the world are women.
Women are very good at interpreting body language for one reason:
It’s the basis for determining whether a man is irresistible or not. While men
primarily focus on women’s physical beauty, women focus on how men
‘hold themselves.’ Are they confident? Do they have self-respect? Do they
have high self-esteem?
Did you know that women could know how confident you are just by the
way you stand? Confident men are irresistible to women the same way
beautiful women are irresistible to men. For this reason women always
interpret men’s body language. Here’s an example.
HE JUST: walked past with his back hunched over and had his eyes fixed towards the
ground.
THAT MEANS: he’s very unconfident, probably has low self-esteem, is shy, probably
doesn’t have very good social skills and would be very boring and possibly doesn’t have
many friends.
Surprising? Did you ever think that the way you hold yourself determines how
women view your personality and social status? The message here is that body
language and “the way you hold yourself” is extremely important when flirting.
Throughout the later chapters you’ll see illustrated diagrams that show you non-
verbal flirting (body language) that all women are unconsciously drawn towards.
These non-verbal techniques will accompany the verbal flirting to achieve
maximum results.
Energy
Energy is the fuel that keeps us going throughout our day. Without energy
people can’t do anything except sleep. Do you remember a time when you had to
be somewhere and interact with people but you had zero energy?
People in our world don’t value their bodies anymore. We believe we have to
stay up late and study for exams or go out every weekend and party till 5 am.
With this fast-paced, instant gratification society we live in today we want
everything and we want it now. This occurs because we over eat, stress ourselves
out and pack too much into every day, which ultimately burns us out. No matter
how energetic you are you could definitely use more energy during your day.
People who lack energy are very grumpy and have no passion for life. Can you
remember a time when you were really tired and felt upset but couldn’t explain
it? Even though you were around people you loved, for some reason everyone
was just making you angry?
People who don’t have enough energy to flirt come across as boring,
emotionless and monotone in their speech. If you want to show women
you’re an exciting and irresistible man, first you need the energy to prove it.
Successfully meeting, flirting, attracting and dating women takes a lot of energy.
How can you possibly impress women without energy? Here are three tips for
endless amounts of energy.
While the average adult needs around 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep most
people only sleep 7 hours.
While this doesn’t seem very bad, if you followed this sleeping pattern for one
year you would lose 504 hours sleep! That’s 21 days of sleep. As you can see over
time this adds up and is often responsible for sickness, lack of concentration and
even depression.
While most people’s lifestyle isn’t this extreme everyone has experienced
sleepless nights. Below are some tips for better sleep, more energy and thus
greater ability to flirt and attract women.
Avoid caffeine
When people feel tired the first thing they reach for is caffeine. Coffee and other
caffeine drinks affect everyone differently but some can find it difficult to sleep
even after only one cup of coffee before dinner.
Avoid alcohol
While alcohol makes you feel drowsy and helps you sleep, it often wakes people
up after only several hours sleep and stops the body from entering the deepest
stage of sleep where the body heals and recovers itself. This is often why people
feel so sluggish after a night of hard drinking.
The earlier you go to bed the better. When electricity didn’t exist humans
when to bed when the sun went down, nowadays we stay up way past our
bedtime. Your body is conditioned to do most of its recharging between 11pm
and 1am. If you go to bed after these hours everyday you’ll constantly be tired
and sluggish.
If you watch TV, exercise or read suspenseful books before bed you’ll find it hard
to sleep. Make it a habit to unwind an hour or two before bed rather than
suddenly trying to sleep after an energy-intensive activity.
Keep a Rhythm
Give your body a routine it can stick to by going to bed and waking up the same
time every night. No one can go to bed the same time every night but make the
effort to have a sleep routine a majority of the time. People who try to
accomplish too much tend to go to sleep very late and get up late. Falling into a
routine like that makes it very difficult to change your sleeping patterns to more
suitable hours.
If you find it hard to unwind before bed listen to soft, mellow music. Stay
away from heavy rock and techno if you want to sleep.
Staring at your ceiling for more than an hour is frustrating enough but if you
turn over to your clock and see that it’s been two hours that just increases stress
and makes it even harder to fall asleep. Make sure there are no visible clocks in
your room when you sleep.
Just remember that the more sleep you get the more energy you have and the
more energy you have the better you flirt with women.
Everyone knows that exercise is good for you but how many people do you
know that actually jog or swim on a regular basis?
Most people feel tired when they wake up, between 3 – 5pm and 11pm. It’s
during these times that people have an urge for sugar to give them a kick-start.
Even though eating sugar and caffeine make you feel like you have instant
energy, these foods make you sluggish and tired only hours after ingesting
them. Instead walk around, listen to music, and socialize to reenergize yourself.
Now that you understand what is necessary to flirt with women, it’s time to
explain the types of flirting that attract women. Even though the actual words
you say have very little impact on your success, learning to use the right flirting
techniques will make you do the right things, skyrocketing you automatically to
being successful with women.
The simplest and fastest way to create emotion with women is to intentionally
start a playful conflict. Here are the 4 basic conflicts you should start using. If
you can’t think of your own techniques start with these and observe the results.
This formula is the essence of everything taught in this book and should be the
fastest and easiest way to start getting success with women. Use these factors in
any order. While these ideas might seem absurd at the moment they’ll make
more sense as we move on further into the book.
Playfully Provoke
If she's sitting on your bed push her off.
If she's enjoying the movie throw popcorn at her.
If she's enjoying lying down tickle her.
Steal her hat off her head.
Playfully Disagree
If she says she’s a good girl, tell her you want someone bad.
If she says she’s cool, say you’re cooler or she’s a dork.
If she likes something say it doesn't look good.
If she thinks something is cool give her a weird look.
If she says she doesn't like something say how good it looks.
If she sits next to you tell her to keep her distance
Playfully Accuse
If she says she likes an actor, tell her she has a crush on him
If she places her hand on your leg, give her a weird look like she coming
on to you.
If she says let’s go home, say, “I’m not going home with you! I don’t even
know you!”
Accuse her of being a bad girl whenever possible.
Playfully Compete
If you're both playing a game make a confident wager that you’ll win.
Always cheat to win.
Poke your tongue out at her.
Playfully walk away.
As you can see the above graph is a circle divided into three equal sections.
They are in the form of a circle because each is equally important and all must
be done. Let’s briefly define each step of this formula.
Let’s detail each of these qualities and provide examples to make it easier to
understand.
Confident Flirting
HE JUST: said I look like a dork in this hat.
THAT MEANS: he’s confident and independent. He’s not kissing up to me like all
the other guys and isn’t trying to get anything from me, or is he? I like him.
Can you see how telling a woman she looks like a dork works so well? While
this behavior may seem mean or fake you must realize something. Look at
these two examples to better understand the concept that’s about to change
your perception forever.
Example #1
A young man was brought up into a rich household and grew up with
everything he ever wanted. He had the latest sports car, his own apartment and
all the best suits. All he had to do was ask his father for his credit card. This man
even got a job because of his father’s business connections.
Example #2
A young man grew up with his single mother who earned just enough money to
survive. He spent 2 hours traveling on three buses and a train to attend college
for which he paid for himself by working two part time jobs. He eventually
opened up a successful and profitable business from the knowledge he acquired
in college.
As you can see both men grew up with very different lifestyles. The big
difference was the second man valued everything while the first man didn’t.
Which brings us to a fundamental rule about life and dating women.
looking for confident man that engages her mind with mystery and challenge.
Without these attributes men don’t provide women with any real value for
choosing a boyfriend. They aren’t looking for men to baby-sit, they’re looking for
a protector, provider and lover. Men who act super-eager and horny repel
women very quickly.
Think of it this way. A door-to-door salesmen get rejected the second you find
out he is trying to “sell you something.” Similarly, very attractive women will
reject you the second she finds out you like her if you’ve communicated it in
some stupid obvious way. Here’s how to make women value you:
• Courageously approach her cool and calm to show you’re not scared or
super eager.
• Tease her by treating her like “just a buddy” to prove you’re not just
interested in her looks
• Act playfully unimpressed to show you have real value.
• Be firm if she’s late, make sure she respects your time.
People may read this and think, “This earn/value rule doesn’t apply to dating.
Dating is totally different.” Unfortunately this is basic human psychology that
is relevant in all situations. Why don’t women date men who desperately want
them? Women don’t find these men challenging. What is not earned is not
valued.
Here are 8 great flirting techniques to project confidence to let women know
you’re extremely valuable. These techniques attract women and position you as
one of the most unique guys she’s met in a long time.
Tongue Poke
At some point during conversation poke your tongue out at the woman.
This is extremely playful and she’ll probably start playing along with your
flirtatious behavior. Use it when there’s a silence, when she’s waiting for you to
respond to her question or just in the middle of the conversation.
After talking for some time you can walk up to her and look over her head as if you’re
looking for something. You can then say, “Where did Sarah go?”
Don’t stand too close just close enough to get the point across. You’ll usually
get a playful hit for this one because it implies that she’s short. If you’re the
same height or just a little bit shorter stand on your toes to add some extra
height. Being the same height can actually make this technique work better
because it’s sarcastic humor. You’re saying she’s short even though she’s clearly
level with your height. If you’re feeling extra confident even say this to a
woman who’s taller than you.
Stand in Front
While talking, stand in front of her and playfully point something out in the distance and
saying something like, “Wow, check out that wall, that’s really cool”.
Women usually find it uncomfortable for men to enter their personal space when
they’ve just met but what you’re doing is standing in front of her with your back
facing her. This technique also works great when she’s waiting for her question
to be answered or during an uncomfortable silence in the conversation. Doing
something playful like this can spice things up if they’ve gone dull. The idea is to
use something very plain so she knows you’re not being serious. If you said,
“Hey check out that plane” and actually meant it, she would think you’re rude
and arrogant. This communicates you’re flirty and playful but not going to drop
everything for her. You have power and no one’s going to take that away from
you.
Walk Away
As you flirt with her playfully walk away from something she says.
This technique works great if you do it for something meaningless and pointless.
If she says, “I like pink clothes”, you can say, “Oh I don’t think I can be seen
talking to you anymore” and walk away. Don’t use this technique to walk away
from something offensive. If she said something like, “You’re so cute, just like a
teddy bear”, and you walk away you’re communicating you’re easily upset and
can’t keep your cool. The idea is to be playful so the sillier the reason for walking
away the funnier and more successful it’ll be.
Arms of Steel
Look at her arm then just squeeze it near her shoulder with a surprised look on your face.
You can then say, “Wow, I wouldn’t want to meet you in a dark alley. Arm’s of steel!”
implying she’s a huge masculine man.
Touching: Only use this technique if you feel the woman is already comfortable
around you or else she’ll feel endangered by physical contact. Humor is based on
opposites and sarcasm so don’t use this technique if she has large arms for a
woman, otherwise you’d be teasing her insecurities and that’s not what you
want. Of course no woman wants to feel masculine because they’re a women, so
by implying she’s masculine when she clearly not becomes funny.
Sympathetic Pat
When she makes a comment about something that seems funny or strange simply look at
her sympathetically and pat her on the head.
For example if she said, “I likes shopping at X shopping mall”, you can pat her
on the head and say, “It’s ok”. This implies she needs better taste. Use it in
response to her clothes, quirky hobbies or other harmless things. Remember
these techniques are supposed to be playful, use them when things are silly and
inoffensive. Again only use this technique when you’ve spoken for a few
minutes and gained her trust.
Give her an embarrassed or weird look for something she says or does.
Again when she makes a comment about something, for example you may
say, “What brand are those sunglasses?” And she says, “Oh these are
(expensive fashionable brand)”, if you give her an embarrassed look it implies
she has no taste. You can use this technique when she answers your question
or does something silly. Of course this embarrassed look is suppose to be fun
and playfully, if you look serious you’ll scare the woman off very fast. Unlike
the above technique, this technique can be used the moment you introduce
yourself to a woman because it doesn’t involve touching.
If you’ve been talking for a while you can ask to look at some sort of bracelet or
hat she’s wearing. Then when she asks for it back you can make her playfully try
and grab it back. If she doesn’t ask for it back you can get things going by saying
something like, “Hmm, I think I’m going to keep this”. Then pretend to give it
back and quickly move your hand when she tries to grab it. This flirting
technique is very similar to how an older child would play with his younger
brother or sister. This flirtatious behavior is lots of fun and women love it if
you’re smiling and laughing as you’re doing it.
Playful Flirting
HE JUST: grabbed my hands and started playing a slapping game to decide if he’s
cooler than me.
THAT MEANS: he’s social, playful and knows how to have more fun than all those jocks
out there. He doesn’t take things too seriously. I like him.
Can you see how there is some subtle tension and conflict within this example? If
a man is playfully communicating he is cooler than a woman he is disagreeing.
For most men the thought of disagreeing with women sounds absurd. Why
would you want to get into a conflict with a woman you’re interested in?
First, we’re not talking about a serious fight. We’re talking about a playful
flirtatious conflict. Remember women are attracted to the feelings men give
them. And the feelings of a playful battle are very emotionally intense.
Its obvious women want somebody interesting and fun to hang out with. But
often all the things men know about being fun and interesting in social situations
go out the window the minute they start talking to a beautiful woman. I say,
“talking” because rather than flirting with women they think they’re being fresh
and original by asking boring demographic questions like:
There is nothing wrong with these questions, but unless you add in playful
disagreement women won’t feel attracted to you. The problem with
demographic questions is, once started, it’s very difficult to transition into a more
fun and interesting conversation.
Of course you can use these questions if done correctly. Asking a woman “Where
do you live?” and then playfully transitioning into an emotionally intense
argument about why your neighborhood is cooler than hers puts you on the
right track.
If you playfully build conflict you build tension.
As you can see sometimes the strangest ideas work in ways we couldn’t imagine.
What you must remember is that women are different creatures; they feel
attraction for men completely differently. Emotion is much more powerful than a
man’s looks. So what ways can you build conflict? The most powerful way to
evoke emotion is to focus on the woman. Here are 5 examples of playful flirting.
Playfully settle verbal arguments in silly ways and always make sure you win.
Thumb Wrestling
Ask to see her wallet and take out her photo ID and make fun of it. If she doesn’t
want to show you, show her your photo ID first and make fun of it if it looks
silly. Almost every single woman hates other people looking at their photo IDs.
She’ll most likely try and snatch it back from you as fast as possible because the
photo was taken when she had a hairstyle she didn’t like or when she was much
younger. If she’s not ashamed of the photo it’s hard to be playful about it; just
play it as it goes.
Ask her if she’s any good at poker and then poke her ticklish area around the
waist and hips. Realize that touching a woman is a big deal when you start
dating, people only feel comfortable with others touching if they trust them. If
the woman trusts you poke her around the rib cage where she’s most ticklish.
The first date might not be the best time to engage in this playful behavior. It just
depends on how comfortable you make her feel around you. Even the second
date might not be the right time for this; just make your own judgments. If you’re
not sure leave it.
Shoulder Tap
Tap her on the shoulder and quickly turn around denying it was you. This
technique is childish but works like a charm. Tap the woman on her shoulder
when she’s not looking then turn away. Whether you turn away in time or not
doesn’t matter. Let her catch you turning away with a big smile on your face.
Continue to look away or look around the room with a silly face to avoid eye
contact. You can finish by saying something like, “It wasn’t me! It was that guy
on the other side of the room! I swear! He just ran back over there really really
fast… honest.”
When you’re both having a fun, great time, laughing and giggling put on the
most serious straight face you can make and say, “Ok, ok… we’re having too
much fun. Stop it! No more fun!” If you’re in a highly energetic and playful
mood, she’ll stop for a second and then burst into laughter. Or she may play
along. In that case put on your most serious face together with a really monotone
voice and start saying things like, ”Ok… So do you have a house? Yep me too I
have a house.” “Wow, that’s fascinating. Hmmm… So do you like stuff?” Say
something completely obvious and say it with the most serious face you can.
While you’re having a boring conversation you’re actually communicating that
you understand boring conversations and making fun of them in the process. As
long as you’re doing this after something completely fun and playful this will be
hilarious.
Sexual Flirting
While friends talk about hobbies, the weekend and gossip there is one form of
communication that two friends never engage in together. Flirting is more than
telling jokes, being funny and being confident.
Intent
Sexual flirting speaks right to a woman’s core and allows her to understand you
in her language. While men tend to think very logically and straight down the
line, women think emotionally.
When interested in men women hit and tease them , while women who
aren’t interest tend to stay in demographical “So where do you live?” sorts of
conversations. She can be ‘interested’ in your conversations, which can go for
hours, but she’ll never feel ‘attracted’ to you.
Why?
Women are different creatures; therefore they think, feel and act differently. If
you want women to realize you’re the man she’s been searching for you need to
speak suggestively. You don’t do this by saying how beautiful she looks but rather
by saying she’s a bad girl. While sexual flirting is probably the most powerful
type of flirting that exists, it is also the most difficult to understand.
What makes this form of flirting so powerful is the intent. Instead of just talking
about each other you’re playfully suggesting that you should ‘be together’
without actually saying it. If you said, ‘you know, we would fight all the time’
you’re communicating the possibility of dating without saying stupid like, ‘I
think you’re very beautiful and I’ve liked you for a long time now. Will you go
out with me?’
Suggest Attraction
“It’s because you want me”
Be bold. Be brave and say this with confidence. You never know she may start to
like you after your confident statement. She doesn’t have to like you but the idea
of sexual flirting is getting women to think about the statements you say. You can
recycle this joke over and over during your interaction by saying, “Sarah! Stop
liking me so much!”
If she wasn’t thinking about sex before she will be after this statement.
Understand that suggesting attraction only works if the woman finds you
socially fun and interesting; if you’re boring and have nothing to talk about
then you’ll just come across totally weird. Could you imagine saying, ‘No
funny business Ok?’ with low self-esteem and no confidence or social skills?
The woman would just flat out laugh at you.
Subtly implying how much you guys wouldn’t work out. This comment is great
when you’re having an emotionally intense playful conflict. It works like magic.
(At the cinema) “Hey let’s get married right now! We’ll get the popcorn guy to be the
priest”
Suggesting marriage sounds absurd to most men but if you do this playfully
she’ll realize you’re independent, confidence and don’t take dating seriously.
You can bring sexual ideas into the conversation without being shallow. There
are certain words, regardless of their context, that are always interpreted with a
sexual connotation. Words and phrases such as “innocent” “naughty” “bad
girl” “good girl” “trouble maker” “mischief maker” are great examples. Some
women actually play into the “Yes, I’m a bad girl” idea while others laugh and
try and convince you they’re not. Of course when she says, “Hey, I’m not
innocent!” implying she’s feisty and aggressive like a man, tell her you’re not
interested in a sexually aggressive woman.
On the other hand if she says she is innocent you can say you’re looking for
someone wild. Can you see what we’re doing here? Instead of always agreeing
with women you’re making them fight for your approval and showing them
you’re not so easily earned. Always flirt by offering the opposite opinion to the
woman, building conflict, which builds intense emotion required for playful
flirting.
“Somebody’s feisty.”
Again this statement could be made at many appropriate moments to imply her
aggressive nature. You could say it:
When you’re playing with each other’s feet under the table
When you’re looking at her photo.
When she’s trying to take back something you stole.
When she touches you unexpectedly.
When she rests her hand on your leg.
These statements work best to restart conversations. Use them when text
messaging women or meeting up with them for a date. This statement is great for
re-starting up the flirtatious atmosphere between the two of you.
While this works great after a comment she makes it can also work really well
straight out of the blue. Of course this evokes lots of curiosity as she wonders
why she’s in trouble? You don’t actually need a reason if she asks about why
she’s in trouble but you can always make up a playful one. While it’s important
to deliver this line smiling and playfully you can actually say it with a
completely straight face. Once you’ve said it you can crack the littlest smile to
show her you’re joking. Great situations to use this type of flirting are when
she:
HE JUST: jokingly said, “Come on I’ll buy you a diamond ring. No really I will!”
THAT MEANS: he isn’t easy to win over and has power when choosing who he dates.
He understands exactly how most losers’ act around me and is making fun of them. I
like him.
The general rule: Say things that dorks would seriously say or do and make them
sarcastic and playful. Most men buy women expensive gifts, call them every day,
do helpful things they would never normally do and even say they love them.
Use these behaviors to show you understand her. Other variations are:
If the woman says, “You’ll really do my laundry?” act disgusted and say, “No!
What do you think I am you’re slave?” Don’t ever let her think you’re being
serious.
“I think I secretly love you. No really I think I’m going to stalk you everyday.”
This statement can only be said if you understand how to joke. If you said this in
a really plain tone of voice she would think you’ve being 100 per cent serious.
Can you see how what you say is nowhere near as important as how you say it?
Playfulness has been emphasized in nearly every example during this chapter so
you can really understand the language of flirting. If you use any of these
techniques and you claim they don’t work, it’s because you’re saying it at the
wrong time or in the wrong way.
Sexual Actions
A significant part of being what women call “a real man” is taking charge in all
situations. Women often say, “I like a man who knows what he wants.”
A man who knows what he wants doesn’t ask for permission. He takes the
leadership role in every situation and expects others to comply. If you’re ever in
clubs or bars watch as the dominant men control the situation by approaching
women, talking to them, taking them by the hand and guiding them through the
club to another location. These men expect women to follow their lead. They
don’t politely ask – they just do it.
You might think this attitude seems rude or careless, but what you must
understand is that women want men to do this. Why do you think men who
ask, “What movie do you want see?” get responses such as:
Women want men to be the leaders. Men who ask women to make the
decisions get vague responses like the examples above because women want
men to lead. The woman is offering the man a chance to affirm his manliness.
It may seem daunting to maintain this sort of control, but as the behaviors are
broken down into actions it will become clearer.
When women say they are attracted to strong men, they don’t mean physically
strong. They mean men who can control situations. But unless men start these
interactions they won’t ever get a chance to control them.
Men lack the courage to take control of situations for one reason: insecurity and
fear. “If I do that she won’t like me; she’ll leave me.” No! If you lead and
control all situations you’ll attract the women you’ve always wanted with
incredible consistency.
You rudely walk up to a woman while she’s talking with other people and don’t
properly address the group. Instead of talking to everyone and making them feel
welcome you narrow in on a woman and make her feel uncomfortable. You
continue to talk to her (interest) and get her number (desire). Unfortunately,
because you never addressed the first step (comfort) she mentally blocked you
out and even though she might have “seemed” involved in the conversation all
she wanted was for you to go away. Because her friends didn’t approve of you
she rejected you. In this situation she will either walk away or continue the
conversation without interest. When you ask for the number she will give a fake
number or she’ll never answer.
Example #3 – Sexual
If you walk up to a woman and say, “You look beautiful” and then ask for her
number, you may get her number but most likely nothing else will happen.
Because you didn’t show confidence or your fun personality the woman has
no reason to see you again. She knows you only wanted her for her physical
looks and doesn’t even know if she can trust you because she doesn’t know
anything about you. So as you can see from these 3 examples, to be successful
you must utilize all three elements of flirting.
You approach a woman and speak very directly and briefly (with confidence)
and suddenly ask for her number (desire). While this “swept off her feet”
approach can work the woman may be hesitant to see you again. While she was
definitely attracted to you she may not have had enough time to build any
rapport with you and is scared you two might not have anything to talk about
when you meet up.
Chapter 3: First
Conversations With
Women
People Want What They Can't Have
In our world it is human nature to want things. We want a better job, we want
more money, we want to be more attractive to the opposite sex, we want to be
thinner and we want a great partner. People constantly want more and more out
of life, which is healthy and natural for a human being.
So it only becomes natural that once you have what you want you don't obsess about it
the same way.
If you were dreaming about an amazing sports car and finally bought it after 10
years, the desire to want the car disappears because now you have it. Everyone
has the desire to be rich, wealthy or at least to have more money. Well everyone
except, rich people.
Wealthy people constantly explain to others that being rich is “not what it’s all
cracked up to be" and they want more from their lives too. Even in our example,
rich people want more out of life. They’re usually unhappy because they crave a
long lasting relationship, which they can’t achieve due to their heavy
involvement in building wealth for themselves. I'll say it again because it’s a core
concept you need to understand and is heavily linked to flirting.
Now think carefully how this scenario could be relevant in the dating world.
Very feminine beautiful women are shown interest from eager and horny men
everyday. By the time young women reach adulthood their experience with men,
dating and relationships is considerably higher than the men who don’t date
often.
But for this to happen people need to be presented with the unexpected, the
challenging and the mysterious. As Albert Einstein once said, “The most beautiful
thing we can experience is the mysterious.” so let’s learn how to be unpredictable,
exciting and challenging and intensify every woman’s emotions.
Uncertainty/variety is a core need of every human being and men who present challenges
fulfill this deep need within women.
Remember we said that women are attracted to emotions and the feelings men
give them. So if a woman is 100% sure she can have a man because he
communicated this in some really obvious way, how much effort is she going to
put into calling him, making an effort talk to him or begging him to catch up?
She wouldn’t chase him because she knows he's there for her whenever she
wants and that's something she can take for granted. So how do we flirt in a way
that portrays us as possessing these attractive qualities?
THAT MEANS: He’s only interested in me physically because he doesn’t even know
anything about me. I don’t like him.
THAT MEANS: he’s very confident, mysterious, funny, secure, in control, hard to get,
playful and really fun! He’s not just interested in my looks because he’s not sucking up to
me like all the other guys. In fact I’m not even sure if he is interested in me. I’m going to
keep flirting with him and get to the bottom of this.
Do you see how playful flirting challenges and attracts women? Now that you
understand why this type of flirting is necessary let’s look at more examples that
attract the sort of woman for whom you’re looking. By learning verbal
techniques that work, other aspects of your personality will develop
automatically transforming you into the irresistible man women want.
Cute Line
“Awe… You’re so cute.”
Flirting with a woman by saying she’s cute can be said at almost anytime and
really gets emotions running. Women know you are putting them down in a
nice, fun and playful way. Usually women are the one’s men can’t figure out.
Instead turn the tables in your favor.
Then ask her, which guy would she sleep with. “If you had to choose, who
would you do?” A common response is “Can I say none?” Of course you
reinforce what would be her choice if she had to choose. It’s just the rules of
the game.
HER: Yeah…
YOU: Really? (Pointing to the other guy) Aww… that’s awesome I think you
two would make a cute couple!
HER: Yuk!
YOU: I can see a potential future for the two of you.
HER: No way!
YOU: Come on, I’ll introduce you to him.
HER: No!! (laughing, giggling)
Most men don’t understand why you would try and playfully match make a
woman you’re interested in with another man because they don’t realize
two very important things. First, you are proving you really don’t need her,
projecting independence as a masculine man and second, you’re having fun.
All people want to have fun so make sure the woman associates fun with
you. Tease, flirt and accuse all you want. You do what you want, you’re a
masculine man remember?
Don’t use overly sexual pickup lines, because even if you’re joking you can
still offend women. The pickup lines above are all soft pick-up lines.
After saying the pick up line quickly tell her how pathetic these pickup lines are.
Women always agree with this statement and you quickly build trust.
3. Start an exciting conversation about lame guys that have approached her.
From here you can ask the woman the worst pickup lines that have been used on
her or her friends. This will transition into many funny, flirty and emotional
conversations.
HE JUST: said a pickup line about how beautiful I am and then said it’s stupid.
THAT MEANS: he’s very experienced at dating because he knows that I don’t want to
hear that I’m beautiful from somebody I don’t know very well and he’s so confident he
can make fun of it.
This technique is quite advanced and should be exercised with caution. Make
sure you understand how to deliver the pick up line. Use it when you believe
your flirting experience has improved.
From here on the idea is to imagine the two of you working together in this
situation. Try and think like a comedian. They take a basic idea and discuss it in
as many crazy scenarios as possible. Ask her what she’d like to see in the fantasy
and come up with your own suggestions.
You: We’ll make millions! We’ll double the fees to help fund our secret scam to
live like filthy rich kings. And if anyone disobeys us you’ll take care of ‘em, won’t
ya? And after the school we’ll take over the world!
The more your stories don’t make sense the more emotionally intense they’ll
become. Find absurd situations both of you can playfully experience. These
stories can sometimes go on for a long time. You’ve got enough material to last
for hours. Just take the scenario you’ve put yourself in and relate it to
everything and everyone around you.
YOU: Yeah, see that guy over there? He’ll become our university money slave; he
can walk up to all the students and demand their cash for me. Don’t worry you’ll
get some too.
Depending on where you meet the woman the playfully absurd role-playing
story could be:
Always base the stories on power, wealth and fame. You can mention how rich
you’ll become; who’ll do the dirty work for you and what you’ll do once
you’re both wealthy and/or famous. Be creative and find a scenario you know
a lot about or feel comfortable with, but make sure you can make the idea fun
and exciting. There’s no use getting excited about starting your own flea
market or retirement village.
Rehearsed scripts make you sound fake and unnatural no matter how much
work you put into it. Learn the general flow of your material until you build
the confidence to do this effortlessly.
Conclusion
It doesn’t matter what you say or do with women as long as it evokes emotion.
All of these flirting techniques are simply training wheels until you feel
comfortable talking about anything with women.
Strength
Confidence
Independence
Dominance
Control
Security
Socially Intelligent
Self-Respect
Passion For Life
Weakness
Shyness
Nervousness
Neediness
Submission
Lack of Direction
Insecurity
Socially Awkward
Low Self-Esteem
Depression
Not all body language conveys all of these aspects and some women interpret
the language deeper than others. But the following body language is universal
and all women know exactly how confident you are from observing the
following behaviors. The areas are:
Posture
Eye contact
Head positioning
Stance
Posture
Posture is extremely important when you flirt with women. Notice the man with
the bad posture is leaning forward and carrying his weight on his back rather
than positioning the centre of gravity in his hips? This unacceptable posture
forces your head to look at the ground. To continue looking forward with this
posture the man bends his neck back. Standing like this, his shoulders roll
forward and give him a weak submissive appearance. Other the other hand, the
man with good posture has a straight neck, head facing forwards and shoulders
right back, which puffs out his chest and makes him appear bigger and stronger.
Women can tell whether you’ll be interesting or not just by observing your
posture as you approach them. Although posture is important, eyes come in
number 1 for successful body language and flirting.
Eye Contact
Eyes tell a tremendous amount of information about a person. Notice how the
first man is looking away as he’s talking to the woman, while the second man is
looking right into her eyes. The man with bad eye contact also has his head tilted
down submissively.
Engaging eyes show women you’re confidant, interested and most importantly,
that you’re listening to her. Eyes direct how the rest of your body positions itself.
If you look at the ground because you’re shy your head will naturally point
towards the ground too. When your head faces downwards your shoulders tend
to roll forward creating terrible posture. That’s why simply looking at the
ground can repel women instantly.
THAT MEANS: he’s very shy, has low self-esteem, can’t flirt and is boring. I know this
because his posture says he doesn’t love or value his own life very much and I don’t want
to be with a man like that who’s going to bring me down.
These interpretations can seem very harsh but its just reality. If you can’t project
confidence when you flirt with a woman you’re not what she’s looking for.
Head Positioning
While eye contact and posture are the two most important factors necessary to
effectively flirt with women, the positioning of your head can add the finishing
touches to a man’s confidence. Can you see the subtle difference between these
two men?
Even though the first man does have straight posture his head is falling forwards
because the woman he’s talking to is shorter than the man. Thus to meet her eyes
he needs look down.
A subtle improvement would be to keep the neck straight and position the chin
slightly up but still make eye contact with the woman while flirting. Women love
it when you’re very sure of yourself. While this technique may project arrogance it
doesn’t come across that way. Women enjoy men who are arrogant but not
offensive. Notice how popular and rich people tend to project an aura of
arrogance? People respect these people because they respect themselves. Use this
universal body language to subconsciously communicate success and self-
respect. Soon others will believe you are. Ultimately you are what you believe.
To effectively flirt with women during first encounters relaxed body language is
necessary. Interestingly, all human emotions are contagious. Men who approach
women and shuffle their feet, fiddle with their hands or constantly look around
project nervousness. By communicating fear you not only make these women
uncomfortable but also repel them.
So instead of flirting with women to attract them, men focus too much on what
to say which inflames this nervousness. Can you see how these men show fear
by using their hands too much?
The less you move your body the more attractive and confident you appear. If
you can keep conversations going, maintain good posture, smile and hold eye
contact without fidgeting you’ll do very well as long as she’s single.
Men often seem to get rejected by women before they’ve even opened their
mouths. Outwardly expressing too much nervous body language makes women
realize you’re not a mentally strong, confident, suitable partner. If you stutter,
submissively break eye contact, sway or shuffle your feet you communicate an
unattractive image. After some time men unconsciously develop habits they
always communicate every time they’re nervous.
You will need to project that you don’t need her and take things more casually
in the presence of women even if you aren’t dating any women yet.
Consciously putting this information into practice and believing you are
successful with women before you actually flirt and date any women is
important. A successful man who remains unnamed once put it this way:
How would you act if you had 200 million dollars in your bank account, 20 beautiful
women chasing you all day long and an amazing body that people would kill for?
Walk through the world with this attitude and see how you come across. The
common advice preached in sales situations is that a man must always project a
sense of successfulness even if he’s not. Follow this principle and make it work
for your dating life.
Notice how these two men sit and stand while they talk to women and adopt
their communication. Do things like:
In life we have different relationships with different people. Some are friends,
family, lovers, co-workers and acquaintances. If women categorize you as only
being their friend, it’s because you didn’t flirt correctly. You didn’t present
enough confidence, challenge and masculinity.
Women’s first impressions determine the type of relationship she’ll have with you.
If you talk with a woman for a few minutes she’ll make a decision about you.
You’re either one of two things: Someone she has the potential to date or
someone she’ll never date.
So many men try for month’s, even years, to date their girl “friends”. These
women are well aware of what these men are doing yet they never change their
minds about these men. For this reason men need to make contact with new
women. If the woman doesn’t need to earn the man she won’t value the man.
There is no point in starting to flirt with women you’ve tried to date for months
or even years. Men who don’t flirt and never show their attractive qualities
early on during the “getting to know you” stage become nothing more than
male friends.
Chapter 4: Phone
Dynamics
How To Get Phone Numbers
There is a misconception that you must talk to a woman for a long period of time
before you’re allowed to get her number.
There is nothing wrong with asking women for their phone numbers after only a
very short conversation. After conversing for five minutes you could pull out
your phone and say, “What’s your number?” Don’t say submissive things like:
“You’ve probably got a boyfriend, right? No? Well, then can I maybe please have
your number?”
You may be thinking, “If she really likes me she’ll give me her number, won’t
she?” Well, no. As you may remember, women are always checking to make sure
you’re the masculine man you project yourself to be. It’s part of the “the test”.
Because of this rule masculine men don’t beg or plead for what they want. They
command respect and everyone complies with their power. The simple mistake
of asking humbly for her number gives her hundreds of opportunities to avoid
your request and conclude you’re not the man she thought you were.
Instead, when you expect her number, you communicate that you’re a man who
knows what he wants and knows how to get it.
Initial Resistance
When you start putting your new knowledge into practice you’ll make mistakes
– everyone does. Resistance during the initial meeting is normal. When you start
to use this information, by understanding the excuses women might give, you
can be prepared with your own responses and possibly save hundreds of hours.
There are only two reasons why a woman would avoid giving out her number:
1. She’s in a relationship.
2. She isn’t attracted to you.
Understanding the reasons, let’s look at the four major excuses women use.
Excuse #1 – “Why don’t you give me your number?”
Don’t buy into this common trap. Women almost never call men first because, as
discussed before, men are supposed to be the leaders. They should control every
step of the dating process. Continue to ask for her number. If she doesn’t want to
give it to you, don’t give her your number, because you’ll just be wasting your
time.
A woman says, “Why don’t you give me your number?” To the misguided man
this means, “She’s interested and will call me” But it actually means, “I don’t feel
a connection to you and want to get out of this situation as quickly and easily as
possible.”
This can be her mind really trying to stay away from men she doesn’t know well.
The best way to deal with this is setting up a date on the spot. Say something
along the lines of: “That’s OK – I understand, I’m really busy myself, but
everyone’s got 20 minutes for coffee no matter how busy they are, haven’t they?”
This excuse can mean two things. She actually has a boyfriend and is happy with
her relationship, or she doesn’t have a boyfriend but wants you to leave her
alone. This is usually a lose–lose situation, because if you persist she reinforces
her choice by telling herself you have no respect for a woman already in a
relationship. Take the excuse “I have a boyfriend” as a sign to thank her, have a
laugh and move on, no hard feelings.
Why would a woman want your number in return? Most likely so she can see
who’s calling and avoid answering the phone if she doesn’t find the caller
interesting. Let’s say you successfully get the woman’s number, now it’s OK to
give her your number in return, right?
No! You don’t want a woman identifying your number. Although this may seem
strange, the fact is a woman doesn’t need your number. If you call her three
times while she was working she’ll see: “three missed calls from John”.
Doesn’t look too good if you want to appear as an independent, strong and
masculine male. Instead it makes you seem clingy and desperate.
Women would rather wait for you to call again. So remember not to offer her
your number at all. If she asks for it, just say she doesn’t need it, or say, “Na, just
give me yours.” It’s that simple. If you don’t want to give her your number – and
I recommend you don’t – just let her know.
Women don’t really want to lie. But after years of experience with boys they
weren’t attracted to, they’ve engineered an under-the-radar method to avoid
socially awkward situations they’d rather not face.
While some of these dating tactics seem tricky and complicated, just understand
that what women say isn’t always what they mean. Identifying the common
responses and resistances lets you know whether you should invest your time
further or whether she isn’t interested at all but is just being nice and avoiding
awkward confrontation
Grab a piece of paper and write down this question: “Am I prepared with
something to say to her in this situation?”
The initial meeting is simple. Pick a question or opinion you sincerely want to
find out the answer to, regarding her, yourself or the surrounding area.
Approach the woman with your question and continue to have a flirtatious
conversation. Speak for no more than 5 to 10 minutes. You don’t want to talk
longer than 10 minutes because it’ll increase your chances of saying something
stupid or make the interaction go dull. Talk too long and she may lose interest.
The phone can be a very dangerous place to flirt. Talking to women on the phone for
extended periods of time does not help build attraction unless you’re very experienced at
flirting.
Why?
People determine if they like others based on hundreds of criteria but only 7% of
this criterion is based on the words we say. When we flirt with women their
impression are based:
Flirting with women on the phone only allows 45% of the flirting power
necessary to attract women effectively. For this reason phones should only be
used for setting dates with women.
Talking on the phone doesn’t allow the intimate connection we get with people
face-to-face. If you talk on the phone with a woman too long you increase her
chances of losing interest. In addition, text messaging and emails only use 7% of
your potential flirting abilities. In this circumstance you need to be very
advanced in your flirting abilities to make email and text messages work for you.
If a woman can track your number on her home phone or cell and she sees “6
missed calls” on the display screen you can be sure you look like you’re trying
way too hard or even worse look like a stalker.
But won’t she call me back? Don’t count on it. Men are expected to take complete
charge in dating situations. Yes, that means calling and setting up dates with
women. Women only call back on very rare occasions.
E-mail is also a possible alternative. You can send an e-mail, ask a woman to”
catch up” then wait and wait and wait and wait some more. Although e-mail is
less intrusive and requires fewer guts, many people just never check their e-
mails. Depending on which country you live in, e-mail varies in popularity.
Even in countries where e-mail is popular most people set up e-mail accounts
and forget about them.
After all no form of communication is perfect. Phone, e-mail and snail mail
all have their advantages and disadvantages.
But there is another system for communicating with women that’s very effective.
This solution has the ease of e-mail but guarantees a much higher response rate.
I’m talking about cell phones or mobile phones.
You probably already use your cell phone everyday, using it to call everyone
including women. With a cell phone you can now send text messages
between phones instantly.
SMS, texting or text messaging, call it whatever you want. Being able to send text
messages between a woman and yourself allows for the innocence of an e-mail
but the personal contact and efficiency of a call. You never know when, if ever, a
woman will check her e-mail. It could be 1 day or it could be 10 days after you
send the message. But you can guarantee a text message reaches its destination
almost instantly and will be read very soon.
Now you may be thinking: “But text messaging is crap because it takes forever to
set up a date, sending messages back and forth.” This is exactly why you’re not
sending text messages back and forth.
Instead, this simple strategy allows you to incorporate text messaging with
calling; the result being she’ll answer her phone almost 100% of the time.
The problem with calling is getting messages like “this phone is currently
switched off” or “leave a message and I’ll get back to you”, which she won’t
reply to.
So here’s the 4 steps you can take to always make her call back.
Before you do anything you must already have a plan for your evening. You
need to know:
You don’t want to sit there thinking of a place to spend time together while
she’s waiting to do other things, these are decisions you need to make before the
text message. Women love a man that makes decisions and has a plan.
Instead of calling, after getting her cell number simply send her a simple text.
This text doesn’t need to say anything about “catching up” or even hint at any
obvious intention you have to “see her again”. It simply says,
It doesn’t have to be long and it doesn’t need to be deep. There are four parts
to writing the simple message.
Hey shorty,
It’s important to define who you are in the first message. If she doesn’t recognize
you then she probably won’t reply. If she does reply it will be a confused “who is
this?” message, not the best way to start out. Of course make sure you’ve
exchanged names when you talked to her in person.
Also include the exact place you met her. For example saying “in the shopping
mall” is too vague, she may have given her number out to 2 or even more guys in
that one place. It happens. Also include what day you met her. So be specific.
Failure to be specific means sending more text messages until she finally
understands you’re not a stalker. In any case, it’s likely the woman won’t
remember you very well at all, unless you left a stunning impression on her. So
follow the guidelines above to make sure she knows who you are after just one
message.
How’s things?
General comments usually exchanged by friends, implying you two already have
a connection.
This flirting technique vaguely implies she is a naughty girl. It implies sexual
activity in a fun and harmless way. Because the last sentence of a text is the most
remembered part of a message, it becomes crucial to end the text message with a
question. Doing so reinforces her need to reply to your message.
The day after is the best time to text her. If you send a message the same day
you may freak her out by your eagerness. Sending a text message a week later
is too late because by then she’s probably long forgotten you. 1 or 2 days after
getting her number is the best time frame with which to work.
This is the easy part. Waiting for the woman to reply to your message. I say easy
because you don’t need to do anything but this step could drive a lot of men
insane. Not hearing from a woman for several hours would be hard for some
men.
They may start to make judgments on what she thinks. “Why hasn’t she replied
yet?” They’ll start to pollute their minds with all sorts of ideas like:
• She doesn’t like me
• She probably deleted my text
• She thought I was boring
So how do you know what she thinks before she’s messaged you back? The
answer is to not care. “If you get a reply great! If not, no big deal.”
Don’t waste your time thinking about what she thinks. If you don’t get a reply
you can send another message 2 days later with the following text.
Hey (name), I’m going down to (date idea) soon u should come along.
Be completely calm, understanding and not annoyed that she didn’t text you
back from the first message and just wait for a reply patiently. Don’t get upset or
negatively emotional and never try to make women feel guilty, you’ll just come
across weak and insecure. If she still doesn’t reply you have two choices.
1. Call Her
2. Move On
There are plenty of women out there, if one isn’t interested don’t get upset just
understand she wasn’t right for you or you need to continue working on your
flirting skills to improve your chances of success. She might have had a
boyfriend or it could have been a complicated time in her life. Women still give
out numbers when they have boyfriends but don’t tell men until they contact
them, strange isn’t it?
Now here’s where the system works wonders. As soon as you get a reply from
the first message call her straight away, don’t wait. The minute you get a reply
to your phone you can be certain she has her phone on, in her hand and is very
likely to answer.
Of course she could be in a meeting or at the cinema when she replied, but in
most cases if she just messaged you she is available to talk. From here you can
talk for a few minutes simply to organize a “catch up”.
Can you see how frustrating this would be? If she delays replying each and every
message this could be a long pointless process. The man would get paranoid and
start thinking that the woman is making up excuses not to see him. This
assumption could be completely false but it is difficult to be sure without hearing
her voice. Because you’re limited to words women can often misinterpret what
you’re saying and you might ruin a perfectly good dating opportunity by a
stupid misunderstanding.
Save Time
By using this system you save time in dealing with women that would most
likely bail out on you anyway. Talk about an amazing time management tool.
Just remember:
How successfully you flirt when you met her governs how likely she is to text you back
and go out on a date.
Now if she replies great! If not, who cares? She wasn’t that interested in you
anyway and you just saved a lot of time. If she were interested she would
have responded. The text method works wonders for a few reasons.
Because it’s so easy to ignore a message you can guarantee that a woman who
replies to your message is definitely interested in a date.
The best strategy to use when calling a woman is to create a sense of urgency
and always seem busy. It’s not manipulative but rather a favorable situation
to end the phone call and allow the attraction to grow by flirting with her in
person.
You suggest that you don’t have much time to talk because you’re busy. This
way the conversation is short, sweet and to the point. Take control of the
conversation and direct it towards your intention of seeing her again.
Although this is a very simple conversation, it works. There is no need to talk for
longer than a few minutes. Keeping the phone conversation short shows you
have a life and other things to do. Men who linger on the phone until the woman
gets bored project that they have nothing better to do than talk all day. These
women might be doing important things and now find you annoying because
you’ve kept them from their activities.
Even if the flirting during the first encounter went really well and the woman
was attracted to you, by lingering on the phone without flirting you show that
you faked the first encounter by communicating that it wasn’t the real you.
Of course most conversations won’t be this short but keep them as close to this
guideline as possible. If she starts asking you about your day you can comment
but don’t get into details because before you know it you’ve just used all your
“Mr. Interesting” on the phone rather than the actual date. If you want to build
some emotion on the phone with flirting that’s fine. If you decide to talk a little
longer make sure you end the conversation at the peak of your emotionally
intense flirting and never when you run out of things to say and it dies down.
THAT MEANS: he’s confident, independent, directed and has a life. He’s got other
things to do than just talk to me and even though I wanted him to talk to me longer I
respect him more and feel even more attracted to him now.
Chapter 5: Talking
On Dates
Genuineness
The first date is one big test. As always, women are interpreting your moves and
wondering what sort of man you really are. The biggest test you’ll face on the
first date unfortunately lasts the entire date.
This is the test: Are you the same guy that I met the other day?
This doesn’t mean are you literally the same guy, but rather where you putting
on an act when she met you or where you really being the funny, intelligent
and charming man she met? Women don’t want to give out their phone
numbers to fun; playful and flirty men, only to find out these men used a
rehearsed charming line and don’t actually have anything interesting to say
and can’t hold a conversation to save themselves.
While most of the techniques in this book are great training wheels to get you
started you can’t solely rely on this material. The examples that appeal to you the
most are most likely similar to your “true” personality, but unfortunately
shyness stops most men from ever showing their true self. Yes, you should “be
yourself” but unless you feel comfortable around women you’ll always put on a
shy boring personality hoping it gets you somewhere.
Instead you’ll fumble, stutter, look submissive and act boring. This is not being
yourself. This is being nervous. As you analyze these flirtatious examples
during different dates you’ll eventually gain a deeper understanding of flirting.
Of course it’s difficult to feel confident and be fun during the first date, especially
if you haven’t dated for a long time. Luckily experience cures even the most
nervous men allowing them to be totally confident and fun.
Shopping
During a shopping session you’ve got many conversation topics at your disposal.
Starting conversations should be easy with all the shops, items and people
around.
Shopping is great because it shows you’re not trying to impress. You’re both
constantly moving which makes the experience much more energetic and lively,
a great way for her to remember the date.
Clothing Store – Find the most horrible piece of clothing and place it in front of her while
looking in the mirror and tell her it makes her ‘look cool’.
She’ll say it’s horrible and tell you to get it away from her but just continue to
emphasis why you think it looks cool. “Na look it matches your hair/eyes so
well” The idea is to be sarcastic. You need to find something that looks terrible
otherwise she’ll think you’re strange. If you’re not sure what’s unstylish ask
her,“So what’s the dorkiest girl’s item in this place?” Then grab the outfit she points
to and say why it suits her so well.
Clothing Store -Give her a weird look when she picks a piece of clothing off the rack that
she obviously likes.
Opposite to the previous, this works well when she points out something she
likes. Remember, by always having the opposite reaction to what she likes
builds tension and intensifies emotion. This is powerful flirting.
Coffee
Unlike shopping, coffee doesn’t have much movement and energy. A date at
a cafe needs flirting that is playful and confident. But because you can’t move
around as much the power of your verbal flirting becomes more important.
Ask for her hand and tell her something silly about her future. Say, “Do you
want to know your future?” If she agrees grab her hand and in a disappointing
voice tell her that she’ll be working at McDonald’s for the rest of her life.
Alternatively, you can just ask for her hand and just say, “Oh… no!” and give her
hand back. After her curiosity has been stirred by saying things like, “I don’t
think I can be seen with you anymore” then reveal her future.
Mini Golf
Mini golf is a great active date that you’ll both enjoy. Make sure she’s the “fun
type”; unfortunately some girls believe they’re “too cool” for activities such as
mini golf. If she is too cool to play, it’s a good indicator that she’s not
adventurous and fun. The only rule is to take the game very light-heartedly and
maintain emotion, drama and tension throughout the entire date.
Make a wager that the winner is crowned “the coolest person in the world.”
Although this sounds silly it’s very flirtatious and fun, especially if you’re a
highly competitive person. Making a meaningless wager such as this makes the
mini golf game much more exciting, tense and an excuse for excessive flirtation.
Because you’re not taking the mini golf seriously you can do sneaky things to
make sure you win. If you do poorly you can say, “I’m just giving you a head
start”. If you do poorly putting near a hole take several shots in a row and say it
was only one shot. She’ll say you’re cheating and you can simply tell her you’re
making new rules to the game. “The new rules state that only Chris can win!
Hey, you gotta play by the rules Fiona.”
If you play a terrible shot playfully and sarcastically boast about how great your skills
are.
If she sees you take a bad shot say something like, “No, no it’s alright, I’m just
warming up” “You put me off” or “You’re bad luck”. The idea is to keep
flirtatious sexual tension and to make sure you’re arrogance comes across as
being playful.
Put on your most serious face, lick your finger and check the direction of the
wind and take your shot like the pros do on TV. This works even better if
you’re indoors. Obviously jump back out of your serious face when you finish.
This communicates you don’t take things too seriously and that golf isn’t the
most interesting sport, especially for women, but you’re making it as fun as
possible.
Movies
While the movies can be a great place to take women on dates, it’s not
recommended for the first date. It’s hard to spend time together with
someone when you can’t talk in the cinema. Regardless of whether you go on
your first date or a later date make sure it’s a film that’s been screening for
some time so there won’t be that many people in the cinema.
Ask her if she thinks the lead male role is hot. Then ask her who’s the hottest actor.
When she tells you her answer, tell her she has a crush on him.
It’s just harmless fun to tease women about a crush they have. It doesn’t even
matter if she really likes the actor or not.
Remember when you were a child? Did you ever harmlessly throw things at
your brothers or sisters? Maybe it was your best friend? Just like a woman
communicates that they like a man by slapping him on the arm, you’re
communicating your interest by throwing popcorn at her. The best thing is you
can’t accidentally hurt anyone by throwing popcorn because it’s light as a
feather. You may even break out into a popcorn fight.
Tell her she needs to keep her distance; she’s being “suggestive”
The best way to create sexual tension is to mention it. Let the woman know she’s
being “too suggestive” by sitting next to you in the cinema. You can pretend to
define an invisible wall between the two seats to make it perfectly clear that you
don’t want her temptations to get the better of her. Alternatively, move to the
next seat leaving a gap between the two of you and then wave to her implying
you’re now at a safe distance. You might get a soft hit or disappointed look but
don’t give in. After you’ve made you’re point you can move back to your seat.
This technique shows you’re not eager and are accusing the woman of being the
aggressive male. It’s fun, flirty and she’ll love it, whether she admits it or not.
Notice how most of these flirting techniques are based on conflict, emotion and
sexual tension? Create playful arguments during your dates.
There are many interesting areas of conversation you should focus on; likewise
there are also some topics you should never talk about during early dates.
Good Topics
The best way to make women feel comfortable and close is getting them to share
experiences and information about themselves. Ask about their passions, dream-
life and what they wanted to be when were a little girl. Talk about current TV
shows, Hollywood gossip and anything in the entertainment industry. Don’t
forget to throw in some playful behavior during the dates to keep the interaction
interesting.
Remember: If you get caught up in the facts you’ll certainly become boring. You’re
in complete control over what you talk about so make it interesting. If you do
talk about factual stuff spice it up with things like, “You’re such a dork” “I’m
watching you missy” or “You know I have eyes in the back of my head. I can see
everything.”
Deadly Topics
Politics, propaganda, religion and negative experiences such as deaths, ex-
partners or the state of the world are all topics from which to stay away. People
associate the time they’ve had with someone to the feelings they experienced
during their time together. If you’ve spoken excessively about topics that have no
hope of bringing up humor, you’re in trouble.
If you find yourself moving into one of these directions just say, “Let’s talk about
(insert new topic)”, then quickly interject using one of the topics above to save
yourself from a depressing date. Don’t say, “Can we please change the subject”,
just go ahead and talk about something more fun. You’re the leader so make sure
you guide the conversation in a positive direction.
Chapter 6: Dating
Guidelines
“What is not earned is not valued”
You’re about to learn 18 strategies that truly impress women. While some of
these tips may seem strange remember one principle. A man that is not earned
is not valued in the eyes of beautiful women. When you start using these tips
notice how women begin to treat you differently.
They resort to tedious factual questions that don’t lead to the kind of flirtatious
exchange that engages a woman’s attention. It’s not that these questions are bad
– they just shouldn’t be used in a first encounter with women.
Absolutely boring! Women are emotional creatures and they love the feeling a
collection of emotions gives them.
You may have heard of the term flirting before and never really understood
what it was or never really thought it was necessary in attracting women.
Well, I’m here to tell you that flirting is an important part of communicating
with women. When women hit you with standard questions like these it’s a
good idea to have cheeky answers ready to throw back at them. Playful and
absurd remarks work the best. Here are some examples of better responses.
If you don’t talk in a playful tone of voice you’ll come across as serious, arrogant
or just weird. On the other hand, if you answer her questions playfully with
logical answers you’ll seem childish and feminine. So make sure your comments
are both playful and absurd.
Of course you can’t keep this charade up forever but by answering question in a
funny way you show her that you have a fun personality and don’t take the date
too seriously.
For example, if she’s at your place but she’s already stopped your kissing
attempts it doesn’t mean she’s not interested. Why would she be there in the
first place? There could be several reasons why she didn’t want to kiss you.
Many of them are harmless and should in no way be interpreted as an outright
rejection.
The man may be thinking: “She doesn’t like me.” But the woman is really
thinking: “That wasn’t the right place for a kiss” or “I want it to be special” or
“We’re supposed to kiss later”.
We tend to assume the worst from every situation. We think that no means no
forever. When in fact it simply means no, not right at this moment. Persistence is
very important.
She may reject your advances once, but if you suddenly attempt to kiss her later
on, she won’t resist. Why? Women need time to get turned on and genuinely
interested in a man. Different women will have different rules about when they
should kiss a man. She may say “No, no, no, no,” then suddenly, “Yes!”
As the rule says, always kiss a woman by the end of the first date, usually as
you part to go your own ways. If you don’t kiss her after one date you’re not
making the necessary sexual advances to progress the relationship.
Show her you’re a man by taking charge and kissing her. Women actually find
these leadership acts – kissing and making decisions – very attractive. Use them
wherever possible.
Love is a powerful process that occurs when you’re away from somebody you
care about. It’s not the events that bring you closer together, but the reflections
about these experiences when you’re alone that trigger these feelings.
The more you think about the person you are dating, the more you become
addicted to thinking about them. It may seem like a strange and unfamiliar idea
but try and remember a woman you couldn’t stop thinking about. Did you
think about her lying in your bed? While you were at work? Driving in your
car? Did you get a warm fuzzy feeling every time you said her name? That’s
when the falling-in-love was taking place.
What happens if the woman you are pursuing decides she isn’t interested? Then
you’ve just wasted two weeks chasing this woman only to get rejected. It’s
encounters like this that really crush men. They put so much thought into a
single girl they fall in love with her and sit locked in their room for days after
the rejection disaster.
When you concentrate exclusively on just one woman your desire naturally
grows stronger and stronger because you have no other options in your life. At
this point you start clinging and being insecure again, losing all sense of
masculinity, without even realizing it. You call more often, linger on the phone
until she finally says, “Ahh... I have to go now,” and you beg her to “catch up”
Ultimately, this throws you back in the category where most frustrated men stay
all their lives.
Although you want to become a strong, independent man, having your own
life, this is not to say you should abuse the rights of women. The idea is not
dating hundreds of women and saying that you’re exclusive with every one of
them.
That’s not what we’re teaching you. Rather, date multiple women until you find
a great girl you want to get into a relationship with. Just know that it could be
50 girls before you find a great girl. For every man it’ll be different, depending
on what he likes.
5. Be a gentleman
Chivalry is still an important aspect of dating which you should acknowledge.
These rules have been around for decades and still apply in today’s world.
Failure to be chivalrous can result in a woman no longer seeing you. Chivalry is
most crucial during the first date where women form their initial impressions of
you.
Most men don’t understand that these tasks are simply a necessity. Just because
you’re being nice it doesn’t entitle you to sleep with a woman. Learn to do these
things simply as kind gestures. The order of importance is:
Of course you don’t have to do all of them all the time. But be aware that failure
to pay for a date could mean you never get a second date. This is serious: some
women take these rules very seriously. It doesn’t mean you must go out of your
way to buy things – only if you end up getting food. Shopping is a great activity
because the most you’ll pay for is milkshakes. Always assume you’ll pay, but if
the woman insists on paying her share, let her pay after offering to pay twice.
Why cause an argument?
It works best when these gentlemanly actions look normal and you’re doing
them sincerely and naturally. If you look uncomfortable you’ll make the woman
uncomfortable.
6. Look sharp
Before you even consider getting together with a woman you must be clean.
This is not an option, it’s a requirement.
Women put hours and hundreds of dollars into looking their best when going
into public. To leave the best possible impression you need to have everything
working in your favor, and it doesn’t take much effort to shower.
Clothes
Dedicate an entire day at your local mall to get your personal appearance up to
scratch. If you already have a stunning wardrobe, that’s great!
On the other hand, if you’re the type of guy who wouldn’t know style if he were
wearing it, then get someone to help you out. This is the perfect opportunity to
ask female strangers their opinion on something you sincerely need to know.
Then if the conversation seems to go well you might as well ask for her number.
39 per cent of women find a man’s small and sexy butt to be his most
attractive body part. So spend most of your energy finding a great pair of jeans
that’ll really make your butt look stunning.
Cologne
Find great cologne that women really enjoy. If you pick your fragrance well
women will constantly compliment you on it. Even the 30ml bottles last a long
time. This doesn’t mean great cologne can replace showers. Cologne only smells
great on a clean body, remember that. Always test cologne on your skin before
you buy it. Some fragrances smell great on the sample card but horrible with
your skin type.
Have you ever noticed some girls have more pairs of shoes than they do
wardrobe space? Girls put great importance on their choice of shoes. Work out
your style and then find shoes that accompany that style, or find a style that
accompanies your existing pair of shoes. If you want to get noticed this is a
surefire
way.
Personal Hygiene
I hope this goes without saying – always shower, have a clean fresh haircut,
trim your nails, look after your teeth, and always, and I mean always, have fresh
breath. I hope you see the importance of these things when trying to date
women. It would be very difficult to get a call back from a woman that smelt
your beer-and-pizza breath, wouldn’t it? Work these things to your advantage.
These little things can make all the difference in the long run. Have some great
outfits and be proud when wearing them.
Facial Hair
If your genetics allow you to grow facial hair, experiment with growing short
stubble versus a clean-shaven look. Lots of women find stubble very attractive
on a man. It’s attractive because it’s unique to men, and is thus considered a
physical element of masculine energy. Strangely enough, many women are
attracted to men that are similar to their fathers. So if you find out her father has
a beard, try growing a goatee.
Diamonds are so cherished and valuable for one simple reason: because they’re
rare. Masculine men reward women for good behavior by showing affection.
Being an emotionally stable man doesn’t mean you have to be a cold human
being that never hugs or kisses people, but bestow these signs of affection on
women as gifts. Cuddle her every single second you spend with her and a hug
loses its meaning as a sign of affection.
If a woman really enjoys something you do, such as playing with her hair or
rubbing her shoulders, limit this action during your time together, so when you
finally give her what she wants, it becomes special.
The best times to display this sort of affection are when she does something you
like, hence the idea of “rewarding” her.
Masculine men respect themselves and their time; if somebody wastes it they
don’t allow that person to walk all over them.
If a woman does something nice that you enjoy, show her some affection.
Eventually she’ll constantly do the nice things in return for your affection.
It seems logical to give compliments when you really like someone, but there is
some fascinating psychology behind this.
When you envy someone for his or her coolness, popularity or, in this case,
beauty, you communicate something very strong to that person.
You communicate they are better than you.
People know when you idolize and have worship-like tendencies towards them.
This gives them an ego-boost, and even though they may appreciate your
compliment they place you below themselves on the social ladder and disrespect
you for it.
Women love compliments. If you ask them how they want to be treated they’ll
often mention they enjoy compliments. They do. Everyone likes to be
complimented – but to attract a woman this is not recommended. Does this
mean you can never give women compliments?
No.
Women love men who notice specifics. The more detailed the compliment the
greater her appreciation. Always connect the compliment with an event to prove
you’re not just rambling some lines off the top of your head. There’s nothing
women hate more than a liar.
“You know what I like about you… You’re so open-minded about other people’s opinions.
Like yesterday when we spoke to John you were so patient and really gave him the time
he deserved.”
“Will he call?”
“Doesn’t he like me?”
“It’s been a week, why hasn’t he called?”
“What did I do wrong?”
If you say, “I’ll call you next week,” she instantly knows you’re 100 per cent
interested. A good general rule is to seem like you’re busy and don’t have all
that much time to talk to her or call her. The best way to seem busy is to actually
be busy. Start taking up some hobbies, get involved in some investments, take
up a challenge and be passionate about life.
When you focus your life too much in one direction – on your job, relationship
or free time – you start to develop obsessive tendencies towards the thing you
focus on. Unless you can maintain a balance between your dating life and the
other aspects of your life, you’ll never keep the woman you truly want.
Eventually she’ll notice the strange, insecure and extreme attachment you’ve
grown towards her, ultimately making you seem too feminine, and she’ll leave
you. There are many strategies and guidelines you can follow to ensure you
come across as cool, easy-going and masculine while dating women.
Chapter 7: Intimacy
With Women
Preparation
Different types and amounts of flirting are acceptable in different circumstances.
The flirting you do around groups of people greatly differs to flirtatious acts
around only one woman.
In isolated settings such as your place or her place the rules change and you’re
allowed to be more sexually flirtatious. Before we explore secluded flirting you
must first understand how to successfully get there.
If you haven’t hugged, kissed or touched reasonable places such as her arm or
hand then you’ll have trouble making her feel comfortable in an intimate setting
because she hasn’t felt any contact from you before.
If you watch a couple interacting from a distance you can usually tell how close
they are just by how far apart they stand. Most women only feel comfortable
with men entering their personal space when they know them to a certain
degree.
To ensure a woman will be comfortable when she’s having a date at your place
here’s a guideline for what flirtatious physical contact you should have done.
Meet for first date: Take hand and kiss on the cheek or nothing
During the first date: Touch the arm and hands in flirtatious ways
End of first date: Passionately kiss
While these are only guidelines and examples they show the progression of trust
in a relationship and the steps necessary for comfortable physical intimacy.
Flirtatious Mood
The flirtatious mood is the same flirting used during dates. This involves being
playful, fun, teasing and confident. Here are some examples of fun things you
can do in a secluded setting.
Bed Push
While the two of you are talking on your bed/couch subtly roll over while
performing a yawn or stretch to move her closer to the edge. Once she realizes
what’s going on she’ll try to move her way back on. Whether you decide to
slowly push her completely onto the floor is your choice. Depending on the size
of your bed/couch and whether this action can be done harmlessly or not is up
to you.
Bed Hog
When she tries to get back on the bed/couch or even if she’s already lying with
you roll over taking up most of the space. As she realizes you’re taking over
she’ll try and win her share back. If she asks for you to roll back onto your side
you can say, “what’s in it for me?” or “Na, what are you talking about? I’m not
taking up any room at all.” Be smiley and sarcastic when you say this comment,
creating a “I’m hard-to-get vibe.”
Soft Tickle
If she’s comfortable lying next to you and being close you should be able to tickle
her gently to get a positive reaction. Tickling her hips, waist, feet or armpits work
best. If she’s not ticklish or you don’t have the right touch to make her giggle say
something like, “I’m not trying to tickle you, really I’m not”. This saves you from
looking like you’ve failed at tickling.
Pillow Fight
To increase the excitement, grab your pillow and start whacking her softly with
it. If she joins in and gets more aggressive turn up the pace but don’t use all your
strength. If you’re looking for a great way to transition into a pillow fight throw
your pillow at her when she’s across the room or on the bed with you. If she
doesn’t throw it back tell her to throw it back. If she still doesn’t throw it get off
the bed, grab the pillow off her and throw it at her again. Eventually she’ll join
in.
Suggestive Mood
While hogging the bed, tickling and having pillow fights is fun it won’t easily
transition into intimacy unless you know what you’re doing. The suggestive mood
is slow, sexy and romantic. This type of flirting shows your intentions for women
without groping or using other lame forms of horniness. The Suggestive Mood is
broken down into the non-verbal, verbal and actions
Remember:
55% of flirting is body language – focused intense eyes, tall powerful posture,
and slow, deliberate movements without nervous fidgeting. 38% of flirting is
your voice characteristics – a slow, deep, fluctuating tone of voice that doesn’t
stutter. 7% of flirting is the words you say.
Even though these statistics have been mentioned several times men continue
to disregard the importance of this information. These stats have been
displayed again to emphasize the important factors of flirting during later
stages of dating.
Understand that 100% of the flirting mentioned above show a man who’s
confident and in control of the situation. Here are 3 non-verbal cues to keep in
mind.
Your eyes say more about you than you can imagine and women love the intense
focus they get from your smiling eyes.
If you find this concept hard to grasp try smiling in the mirror with your
whole face and then slowly drop your mouth into its neutral position. Your
eyes sparkle and glow when you do this.
It goes without saying you want to give women your complete attention during
this stage of the courting process. There is no need to tease and play around
anymore. The woman likes you and wants to be with you.
THAT MEANS: he’s confident, masculine, and romantic and knows what to do. I want
him.
Make no mistake; nothing is sexier than a man who knows what to do.
Because women interpret slow and sexy with confidence the way you say your
words becomes much more important.
• Instead of grabbing a pillow and throwing it at her, touch her hair softly.
• Instead of tickling her, look deep into her eyes with sparkling eyes.
• Instead of laughing loudly, lean back and give her a smirk with the corner
of your mouth.
Do you understand the difference? You need to act cool in the intimate situations.
Personal Space
If the woman isn’t comfortable with you entering her personal space at this
stage you haven’t initiated enough physical contact during your previous
encounters.
In secluded settings it’s much more appropriate to sit closer, have your bodies
touching and have your faces close together. By kissing or hugging you are
entering personal space. Make sure you realize it’s now appropriate for you to
make the moves that seemed unacceptable before.
matter. Implying sexual interest can be expressed simply by your tone of voice.
At this point the playfulness should stop; here’s why.
Can you see how the dynamics change in secluded settings? While this stuff
works to attract women, eventually women come to a point where they’re
so attracted to you that they just want to kiss and be intimate.
While it’s okay to be playful in secluded settings the suggestive mood needs to
start at some point for intimacy to begin.
When a couple move into an intimate setting the conversation can take a turn
towards plain boring words but still be extremely sexy and seductive. Look at
the following dialogue closely.
Oranges Dialogue
Man: Hey what’s that?
Woman: An orange.
Man: Oh, do you like oranges?
Woman: Yeah.
Man: Yeah you love them, don’t you? I can see it in your eyes. Is it because they
taste so sweet? Or do you prefer their shape?
After reading this dialogue exchange you might think:” What the heck? They’re
just talking about oranges?” As explained before the words almost become
obsolete and a seductive tone of voice becomes the driving force.
The use of metaphors can take the place of real words in this situation. When the
man says, “Yeah you really love them”, this is just playful courting that keeps the
conversation going. Here’s another example.
Man: Well, I can write things in blue, black, red and even green.
Woman: That doesn’t sound so magic to me.
Man: Yeah, well to your naked eye this may seem so. You see there isn’t another
like this one anywhere. You could search your entire life and never find
another just like this.
Woman: Is that so?
Man: Yep, before you know it you’ll miss out forever. How would that feel?
Woman: Well I’m not sure.
Man: Well that’s because you haven’t looked hard enough. Let me show you its
magic.
If you don’t see how using plain language like this could work then read through
this dialogue again visualizing the man as a confident person who speaks slowly,
deeply and deliberately.
Unfortunately most men find it difficult to believe this sort of behavior is very
attractive when it’s executed in the appropriate environment. A dialogue
exchange such as this would usually take place in a bedroom, empty park, beach
or on a couch.
It’s very difficult to understand this sort of communication unless you’ve seen it
done extensively. If you want some great examples to get your head around this
sort of flirting hire some James Bond films and watch how Bond uses suggestive
flirting to attract women.
Bottom line, secluded flirting is suggesting sexual interest. While the dialogue
seems like meaningless drivel the magic pen could also be interpreted as a
metaphor for the man himself.
With lines such as, “You see there isn’t another like this one anywhere.” “You could
search your entire life and never find another just like this” “Yep, before you
know it you’ll miss out forever” “Well that’s because you haven’t looked hard
enough. Let me show you its magic.”
All these lines could be interpreted as the pen’s magic or the man’s magic? What
exactly is his magic? Well, whatever the woman interprets it to be.
• Run your finger along her arms and other innocent parts very gently
• Massage her neck and shoulders
• Stroke her hair softly
Once you’ve done these things and the woman is ready for hot and heavy
intimacy you must initiate this and take charge. She’ll feel 1000 times more
turned on if you take the lead.
Chapter 8: Flirting
Action Plan
Even with dozens of examples many men will be confused and overwhelmed
trying to determine which lines to use and when.
Rather than trying to memorize lines, these examples are given so you can
understand the concept of flirting from different perspectives and
eventually develop your own style.
Friends
If any of your friends are great at dating and attracting women watch them
carefully from now on. Watch what they say and how the women react. Go out
with them to clubs and bars, parties and social events. If they have girlfriends
watch how they interact together. You’ll notice a lot of their behavior is similar
to what you’ve just learned.
If none of your friends are successful with women then watch guys in bars and
clubs. While it might be difficult to listen in on their conversations watch the
body language these men present while they walk through the clubs. Watch how
they interact with women and how the women react. How do you find the most
successful men in the club? Look for men that are already talking to women.
Most men never even build up the nerve to approach a single woman the entire
night. Men who start conversations effortlessly are the men you want to watch.
Also look for self-confident men who have strong posture, direct eye contact and
calm movements.
Films can portray false realities that would never happen in real life but there are
some movies where men are doing exactly the right things to attract women.
Here’s just a sample of the films you can check out to see men who know how to
flirt with women.
Big Personalities
Often times, telling men to just be normal isn’t enough. To the average shy
man the term “normal” can mean staying home and playing videogames. To
“be normal” or to “be yourself” isn’t the right advice. We want men to
develop big personalities.
Drama Groups
Drama students and actors alike are an interesting bunch. They possess most
of the qualities above including confidence. Joining a drama group that gets
together regularly does wonders for a man’s confidence, if he can build up the
courage to start.
It may seem silly and strange because it’s not within your comfort zone but then
again neither is talking to women. If you want more self-confidence sign up for
a theatre group today and let the actor’s optimism and quick-wit brush off onto
you. Really consider looking up drama classes, it’s the best investment you’ll
ever make.
Popular Hosts
Television and radio hosts are paid for their big personalities. Next time you
listen to live radio or live TV shows pay attention to the attitudes, expressions,
tone of voice of the host rather than what they actually say. The reason for
listening and watching live broadcasts is because these people need to think on
the spot; they naturally have these high social skills.
Learning Process
If you’re completely terrified talking to women memorize some easy techniques
like poking your tongue out at women and see what happens. Once you see
women responding positively towards you the motivation to grow and to learn
more flirtatious techniques will come naturally.
Start by learning just one technique from this book and start using it during
your conversations with women. Most men because they fear failure try to
know everything before they try anything. This is the wrong approach. While
a lot of people claim to know everything they don’t seem to put anything into
practice.
Actions speak louder than words.
While you may know everything now, when you start conversations with
women everything will fly out the window. Having just one technique allows
you to assess the woman’s reaction.
Use the technique, assess how the woman reacts and start to use a second
technique. Like building blocks, use one technique to progress to more complex
techniques. You can’t expect to know everything before you try anything!
What if something doesn’t work? If you keep trying one technique and your
results are less than favorable, then you need to move back and reassess why
things aren’t working. There are three reasons the technique won’t work.
Remember if you can’t make women feel comfortable first, nothing else will
work. In Chapter 5 read the section called, First Encounter Flirting: Non-Verbal and
look at the drawings to see what might be wrong with your posture, eye contact
or facial gestures. Don’t project nervousness or else women will be nervous too!
Of course this skill takes practice so don’t expect to walk up to women and have
total confidence the first time.
If you believe your body language is great go back and read “Playful Flirting” in
Chapter 3 and realize most men don’t speak emotionally when talking to a
woman they really like. Remember for women to feel attracted you need to add
some conflict and tension first.
As you grow from your experience it’ll become easier and natural to flirt with
women wherever you go. Learn from your mistakes so you can move forward
quickly without much frustration.
You’ve arrived at the last page and that says a lot about you. You’re ready for
success and are willing to do what’s necessary to achieve your goals.
Congratulations and good luck on your journey to a successful and happy
dating life!
I hope you have enjoyed your journey through this book. If you have any
questions or success stories feel free to send your comments to:
Chris@FlirtingFormula.com