AND T~(;:

FROMrll-iE .A.U1HOR 'OF lil-iE A.CCLA.IIMED COLUMN IINJ rUE WAL.L :ST.REEl .JO'lIRNAL

WINNER Ol~ '!-IE 20<01 JAMIE.$, IEARD I~O'UNDATIlorN AWARD

CopyrigTI.'lt 2,OW7 EricFelten

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HOW'S YO UlRHB:IN.K?'" is, ill registered trademark oE Eric Felten,

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Summary: "A eulrurnl hiS'Mly 0'[ thecoektail. Includes drjnk recipes" -Pro1vidm:lJ hy publisher,

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Aperitif [

11:: Of Iceand Men 9

2:: Slam, Bang, Tang .3 l

J!: Straight Up 47

4:: On the Boc.ks 69

is:: Libation Tribulations 95

I!h How Sweet It Is 115

7: Cocktails and Combat 145

8:: Here's How! (and Where) M,·5

9:: The Spirits of Ch[']stm,a,s. ]77

Nightcap ] 8,9

Index 195

Acknowledgments 205

APIEAIITIF

ON THE EVllNING OF WEUNESDAY, AfRIL 7t 177'9~ SAldUEl JOHNSON wentto eli nner aj the house of Sir Joshua Reynold s; soon, acco rding to his biographer, [ames Boswell, he was haranguing the guests "upon the qualities of different liquors." Offered a glass of claret, Johnson helliowe d. "Po or stuff No 1 Sir, claret is the Iiquor for ]boys; port, for men; hut he who aspires to beahero, 1"1 he saidwith a smile, t' must drink brandy. ".

Few of IlI.S look to a glass to. make us heroes-Dutch. courage notwithstanding+ but Johnson was neither the first nor the last to recognize that what we drink speaks volumes about 1[1S. Wemiglkt Eke to think it is amatter of no social import: whether we order Manhattans o r Mil waukee '8 Best, but weknow hette r. Longue ck bottles of brew are, to paraphrase the good doctor, the liquor for college boys; and in our time.aapiring heroes have been instructed to drink highballs.

Daring the glory day.s of the space progrrum,ilie Air Foree brass went to great lengths to groom. hotshot pilots to be anointedastronauts.

11

HOW'.S. YOUR I!)IA'IINIK?

It wasn 't just their jet-jockeying skins that got honed. They were talLlght what mufti to wear when not in. uniform, how to make casual ehiteha t.and even what to drink.

.. It got right d own to the-level 0& cotillion etiquette, ., T om W01 'Ee found in 'The Right&1f/f No detail was toe small, To give a pn]ishe d appearance, the P ants were told to wear s odes tharwent to theknee, "so tha.t when. they sat down and crossed. their legs. no hare flesh would shewhetween the top of the socks and bottom of the pant cuffs." To make: a good impressionon.the fCDuudl of Houston cocktail parties. the AirForce officers runn.ing the pilots '0 ,. charm school" in Washington gave the fly-boys detailed. inatruetions for how to handle themselvesat the tar.

They were told, "They should dlrink alcohol, in keeping with the pilot code of Flying &: Drinkiug."WoUe writes. But alcohol of what sort? Beer or straight whi.skey might seem the natural drinks for rugged fighter pilots, But beer lacked panache, and straight whiskey might have suggested am overfamiliarity with the bottle. Martinis wouldcome across as contrived. and too rarified.,a.nd no pilot could everpuU out of the sp ir al ing c aree r d ivethat W1JLdd result if he we re to be seenwith an umbrella drink, Thus" the military specified that at:

Houston get~together8, astronaut candidateswunld be limited to "a tall highbaU. either bourbon or Scotch, and only orne,"

M]Htary brasswesen't crazy to. think that the drink in one'shand is freighted withmeani]jJ[g"Ma~y novelists look to define their characters, in part by what they drink, in. our most glib moments, we may do the same for ourselves. If you have a. creeping suspicion that others are defining you-and judging you, too-by the drink in YOUT hand, you're not far wrong.

"There is hardly a richer single occasion f·oE' Class revelation than

Aperitif

the cocktail hour," Paul Fussell wrote in his dy.and malicious little hook, Class. "since the choice 0:1' .any drink, and the amount consumed, resonates with statusmeaning ... "

Some ofthe more opinionated commentators on drink haveinsisteo thattlhere are very ~few choices worth makingin drink. NoveHst and historian Bernard DeVoto was dogmatic about the Iimits of respectable drinking, "Martinis, slugs of whiskey, highballs, and, if you must, am Old-:F'ashionedL No1thing else," he declared. "You don't care to know anybodlywho wantsanything else." You are what yOU! drink

The DeVoto dogma has heen embraced over the ye.aIS not only in society circles, but among some ofthe boozier polloi aswell. Serious drinkers, Gerald Garson declared in hisll963 Social HistOlyqfBou.rbon. "scorned the novelties, n They drank in. serious saloons, such as Torn Moran's place in Chieagu, where "those who. had the teme:dny to can fora G~n Daisy were politely requested Ito leave quietly. "

lit is possible to be serious about drinking without being a serious drinker, especially without taking oneself too seriously. It'anever been clear to me what it issbont hqulorthathrirmgs out the mandarins in people. Perhaps it's a nagging social insecurity that makes for diffident drinkers. We ding defensively to uninspired, sodillJy safe glasses, We ([no. ourselves not unlike Philip Carey in Somerset Mangham's Of Human Band-agel dlispara;ging even things we enjoy out of fear that our own tastes might be suspect. Philip is stay~llg in 1] house full of students in. Heidelberg.and a newlyarrived guestsays to him, "Is the food always as bad asitwas last night?"

"It's always about the same," Philip hedges (truth he told, he had always quite enjoyed The food).

"Beastly, isn't Hr'

HOW'.!. YOUR I!)IA'IINIK?

"Beastly." Philip falls in Iinewiththis stranger's insistent opinion because "he did not want to showhimself a pers un ·of :S!D little disc rim - ination as to think a dinner good which another thought execrable."

Who knOW3 how many people have been shn.ilajldy bulliedby opinions Hlk:ethose of DeVoto, who militated against any sort ofva:dety at the bar? "There are only two cocktails," DeVoto insisted. "Thebar manuals and the women's pages !Q[ the dainy press, Lknow, print scores of messes to which tliuygive thafhnnorahle and glorious name. Tb.,eyare not cocktails, they are slops."

Nonsense. Let's not be strong-armed into. thinking that variety and experimentation behind. the bar is anyless desirable than. it is iII!. the kitchen. Even the most punctilious of gourmets are willing ito bring variety into their diet; indeed, ~~. desire to experiment andexperience new tastes ]8 part of the foodie code: The slllobbiest wine snOD may abjure \Vhile Zinfandel 01 (famous]y and unmeritedly) Med.ot, but one who dunk . .only Cahernet or refused to venture beyond Bordeaux would. hardly bean oenophile. Yet thisis exact&y what happe ns with s~ ro ng drink

Ghades Browne, a one-term Congressman and sometime m.ayo.r of Princeton, New Jersey. was one of those culinary enthusiasts who become olJdurate and narrow-minded when the subject is drink. Browne grudgingliy offers about a. dozen cocktails in his 1939 Gun Ctu,b Dtink Book; it's a basic slate that includes the Martini, the MaOORHaI!J., and the Old Fashioned. As for the "hundreds oJ other drinks called 'cocktails." Browne writes, "'they.are mostly just smallmixed drinks with a base of spirits and almost anything else added." As far the catchy names pinned on. drinks, tbey"mean nothing, but often sound Iike the taving5 of a dipsornaniacand probably are." Browne derides

Aperitif

the bulk of cockrailsas" fooHsh drinks, " and no doubt he had the same opinion of those who drank them,

How odd that the fwtlty topic of cocktails should provoke such reac+ionary rigidity, Spirits should, by definition, be a source of pleasure, ~blll.'t somehow they end upmaking people nervous instead. Finding a sociaUy safe drink and_ sticking with it eases that anxiety. The aafe choice also saves the bother of acquiriing expertise in mixed drinks.und spares one the attendant disputations. worthy of philesophygraduate students, that animate the conversations of the cocktail cognoscenti+does a Saserac take both. Angostura and Peychaud's tittel'S, or solely the 121.Her? It's. allunnecessary if onesticks to ordering Heinekens ..

But do wereallywant to consignourselves to the bibulous equivalent of John Rawls' uniform? The: late H arvardphilosophe r, author of A Theory of l[lstice,. had perfectedtheprofessorial get-up. evety day he wore Ualkis,t1 hhie oxford button-down, and a grey herrmghone sport coat. He saved, himself the bother of having to choose something 'to wear in the morning. His routine was sensible enough-and, of course, an exercise in tedium,

Let's. resolve to avoid tedium atthe cocktail hour, and recognize that in some ways. drink choices are ]ike that of wartlrobe, [wouldn't wear a Hawaiian shirt to the Rainbow Room any more than I'd don a charcoal flannel suit to stroll the beach inWaikilki;. by the same token, the Martini. and the Mai Tai each have theirtime and. place. To know the what, when, andwhere of cocktails .. , we need. to know more than just what's tasty=the culture, thehusineas, and even the politics of Iiquor, The more we knowabout drinks, their origins, their literature, and their [ore, the better equipped we ate to clothe ourselves in the

HOW'.!, YOUR I!)IA'IINIK?

rigid cocktails .. HC)1)/s Your Drink? is devoted to enjoying these social lubricants. and enjoyil!1f3 them with styll.e,

The average har guide runs somewhere north of a thousandrecipes, and I'll agree with Cha~des Browne enougll to admit they can't all be good. In fact, ]'tt should be no surprise that there are far more stinkers than ge.ms. "H is only fitting that the subject of cocktails should be approachedwith levity sHghdy tinctured with conte mpt.Iwrote Lucius Beebe, a columnist [01' the New fm:k Hendd T1ibu.newho covered the town's cafe society in the mid-zoth century. "For every good eompound, arrangement, or synthesis of liquors; wines. and their adjacent Of opposite fruits and flavors chilled and served ina varie"tty oJ gl21.8.ses, there are approximately a million. foul, terrifying. and horre ndous s im - ilar exeitements to f:irnpebetion. cuspidor-hurling, and nausea." And that was written before anyone thougbt to combine vodka with Red Bull,

Yet.th.e vast.bewildering vatiety of p ossih ~Hties-,good and bad-pres ente d by mixed drinks amounts to an adventure, There's always a dis eovery"iVSiltingto be made, and even the old. stSJJJld.bys warrant endleee tinkering. TI1at was, the appeal of cocktails to Crosby Ga~ge, whose peculiarly American lii'ewas such a fantastical combination ofmcongruous pursuits and interests. successes and failures as to havebeen a cocktail of .its own,

The so 11 Dfa. small -town pcstmaster, Gaige became one of the most famous culinary connoisseurs in the country and a legendary eollectn r of T'e c ip es and. wines. He worked his way through school first by selling religiousbooks door to door, and. then. by stringing fer the New ¥OftG Hmes and reading manuscriptsfor a theatrical agent. He later produced a sJew of plays on Broadway, including the Pulitzer Prize - winning Whr Man,,.?, and pub I ishe d exclus ive s man - run boob. In 19~8,. Gaige published a short work by [ames Joyce-Anno, Livia:

Aperitif

PlumbeUe-that Joyce later incorporated into Finnegan's Wake. Gaige acquired a fortune. [an an oil (:O:mp~ll1y. went broke, acquired a. fortune's worth of debts, and then dug his W@Jy out. Somehow, he found the time to author a couple of charming books em drinks" including O:os6y Gaige's COdtl·;a.tl Guide ana Lad~es' Companion in 1941.

Anlong his varied passions, Gaige loved inventions. \llhen the Patent Office sold off its vast collection of the models inventors were once required to submit with their patent applications" Gaigebou:ght thehulk of them for$5o,Qoo. ITt was his admiration cd invention that seems, to have inspired his interest in cocktails.Yln the world of pot ables, theeocktail represents adventure and experiment, All other forms of drinking are imore or less static," Gaige wrote, "Beer drinkers lead a drearyand ,gas e nus life," Gaige declared, whereas. "the cockitailli contriver ". hag the whole world of nature at command.'

Charles H. Balker, Jr,., in hiswhimaical 1939 classic, The Genttemnn'8 Compnnion: An Exotic Drinking Book, states the case ]'0]" the C ocktail inall its variety as the apogee of American inventiveness: "Whether the rest o:f~I1.e world cares 11;0 admit it or not," Bakel' brags, "we started these drinks in circulation, just as we started the telephone. submarine, phonograph, incandescent light. electric refrigeratm.\and dec}en~: bath tubs, .,

Is it daunting to take up the mantle cd' Ed isonarmed only with shaker, jigger, and bottle? Maybe, but that's the run of it. If Y01Jl're liucky in your quest, some of the drinks will even taste good too, ] hope you win find the drinks in this book worth the effort to make, and even if there are a few that are :not to your liking, perhaps the tales of these ooektails wmprovide some compensatory amusement.

So Iet' s c tack some ice, limher up the shaker "and get going'.

1

OIF liCE ,AND MIE,M

n.r, MENCiKENWUNUEfll'D W.ffY"THE E'fl{M010G.IES OF BOO:ZOLJOGli'~ +the origins of words such as cQck/;aU and highbaU-were "quite as dark, as the origins oJ the things themselves." The sage of Baltimore suspected that "there may be something in, the fact that men learned inthe tongues commonly carry their liquor badly." On the other side of the coin, barroom pedants tend toward Glliff- Clavinesque flight3 of ersatz erudition. For hishook Th,eAmen~ra;n Language, Menoken colIectedsome 40 <or 50 amateur explanations (d' where the term, cocktail comes from: "Neady aU of' them," he reported with sadness, "are no more thanbaloney,"

N 0 one knows w].1ll~n or where the first drink calle d a cocktail was mixed. We do know that a Iittlemore than zoo yeaT'S ago, the first fullMown description of a .r cock-tail" made it into print According to the Oxj'ord English DictioJ1.{lryJf, the word" cocktail" first appeared in 1803 in at publication caned "the Farme:r's Caflinet. but there was no explanation

9

HOW'.S, YOUR I!)IA'IINIK?

of what sort of drink this cocktail.was+other than that it was "excellent for the head, " On May 6, 1806, theword turned. up again, this time in the B'tdance and Colu.mbian Repository., at federalist newspaper in. H ud son, N ew Yo r k.whe re it figure d in 0 ne wE the pape r'sregular ] ib e s at thepartty OoT President Thomas Jefferson.

"Buml BumlBnml 11 read the paper's headline, "H is conjectured, that the price of this precious liquor willseen rise at Claverack," the BClJancevrrote. giventh:Elrt a. candidate there for the state legis,liaturerulllst have used up the town's stocks of alcohol in a fre nzy of boozy vote -llmying. Accm:ding to the BaJ(1nce; the candidate had. served. up 72;0 l"UIDgrogs. 17 dozen brandies, 3q gin-dings, 4u glasses. ofbitters and '45 dozen "cock-tails." Apparently. all this generositywith refreshment was for naught, the newSpa"pell teased; as the candidate .Xos1L

No description nf those 300 cocktails there. But that week, a reader of the paper inquired as to what that mysterious concoction eouldpnssibly be. writt:ingthat he had heard of HL "phlegm-cutter and! fog driver, ofwetting the w.histle, of moistening the dalY" efafillip, a SpUF in thehead, quenchin.g at spark in the throat." blI~ "never did I hear of cock tail h efor e .. " On May ]3. the editor of the Batam:e rcsp (I nded ,sap ng that hsma de ,. i ta point, never to publish anything (undermy editorial head) but which [ can explain." A cock-ta,a is "vulgarly caned a hittered sling." he explained, That is, the drink is "ai. atimulating 1 iquor, compos ed of sp :i.dts of any kind, sugar, wate r, andbrtters. "

The editor of the Bata:ncewas aman named. Harry Croswell, and. he had reason to be emphatic that he never published anything that he couldn't haek up. He had been prosecuted just two yeaIsbeE'ore on charges of ~t crimina] Iibel" fot publishing diaparaging copy about

Jefferson-.a. ease that provoked fundamental changes in the protection of press freedoms .in America,

Harry CrosweHhad been happy to reprint all SOIts oj[ gossip about JeHerson. including the rumor that the Presid ent canoodled with Sally Hemings .. Croswell also reported that JdfersorD...had given money to a man named. ]ame.s Callender. whobad authored a notorious screed. against George \Vashingt:on, The Prospect B.e/ore Us .. Callender's pampMet !had tarnished Wa,shingt:on and lis successor, [ohnAdams, enough to help win the election of 1800fbr jefferson, Croswell was one of several newspapermen to make a blunt accusation of dirty tricks, "[efferson paid Callender for calling Washington a. traitor" at robber, and a perjurer."

The Callender affair was starting tnget uncomfortable, and jefferson decided to go after the nO]80111e Federalist newspapers-or rather, he quiedy asked his, cronies at the state Level to d 0 i~ for hiI'n. He wrote to his friend, the governor ef Pennsylvania, that the "press ought to be restored to its cred.:ihHity" ana. that "I have thereforelong '~hou.gllLl th..8J"tt at few prosecutions of the most prominent o-Hendelrs would have a wholesome effect.tProsecutors in severalstates obliged, including New York, where Harry Cr08w,eU was chargedwith "deceitfully, wick.edly and maliciously devising .... to. detract from, scandalize, traduce. and viUry" Thomas Jefferson.

Croswelf's defensewas a simple one: jefferson had. indeed given the anti-Washington scribbler Callender $1000. The defense jeam asked to bring Callender into the court to eonfirmasmuch under oath. Instead, the judge ruledthat "the truth of the matter published cannot be given in. evidence, ", and the jmy :found the editor guilty.

G:wsweU's app eal was arguedby Alesand er H amilto nhimseH, In a

HOW'.S, YOUR I!)IA'IINIK?

bravura six-hour oration that stretched over two days, Hamilton. demanded to know "whether Mr. ]eff,e rson be b~ilty or not 0]' Sa foulan act as the 0 ne charged." The pre 5S could not be free if it could not pub[ish the truth,h.e said. even H thattruth east an lIJJJJ.Uatte)Cing lighf ,. em government 01' individnals." Three of'~he 'four judges hearing the appeal were Iefferscuians, and the C011l:ri let Croswell's conviction stand .. However, swayed by Hamilton's eloquence, the New Yorklegislature promptlypasaeda new law making the truth a trump in libel eases. The Peop~ep. CmsweU remains essential reading in Press Law lOL

Two years after his trialfor criminallibel, Gro.sweU was still stickiJllg it to the parttJ of J efferson. He wrote that a cock-tail "is supposed to beau excellent electioneeringpotion inasmuch. as it cenders the heart stout and. bold, at the same time that it fuddles the .head .." ADd then "It is said also, to be 0] great use to a. dernneratic cELl.lldidate: because. a. person havingswalloweda glass of it is ready to swallow any thing else."

As Croswell deserihed them, the Gin Slings bought by the candidate in C[,averaekwould have been a pretty simple affair=liquor, sugar, and water, Adld hitters and you've got a "cock-tail" Over the Y'e8!TS, as cocktails become evermore fanciful.vthe original plain sort o:f sling came to be seen as somewhat homely by contrast, 'Fo survive, the drink evolved, with some reclpesaddingIemon juice and either sweet vermouth or sherry. and some replacing the drab old "fate]' with lively s eli tzer .. Add s orne b i tters " and. you've go t a. dri nkahle re erea tion of the cocktail, ve rs ion)! ,0" Twohundre d years after the first des cri p - tinn 0] a cocktail, it's no. longer Hoyle to plyvoters with drink But if it were, the rathermore elaborate sort of bittered gin sling would make for an excellent electioneering potion indeed,

12:

1 ~h 0:2: gin

~/~ ez sweet vermouther she-rry 'h cz lemon juice

y~ oz simple (s!ugar) syrup

A dash or two of Angostur,a bitters Sodaw~!h:l'r

:Sha.ke all .but the fizzy water wft'.h ice. 5trc.lin into o tumbler or high· ban glass over kra-, cUl:d top with soda:. Gam.i.:sh with i€'trton pera-L

Cocktails were hardly the firstmixed drinks in the world, among the ancient Greeks, no self-respecting symposiarch would think of servingwine that hadn't first been cut withwater, Thewordjuiep has its origin lin Perais--just as the word alcohol itself can. be traced back over the cenmrieseo Arahic, ColonialAeeerica wasawash in concoctions called smast~esand shmbs. Btu though the word cocktaarurned up first in. the Ftlrme:r's Cabinet and was first described in the Balance, we stiU don"~ know where the word came ~F.rom.

Nettbatthere's any shortage ofwould-be etymoliogies. In Th:n.iS1l821 novel The ,slJY, James Fenimore Cooper credited a Westch.estc.r,. New York, barmaid wk~h creating the first cock-ta,a, EHza'be'~htrBetty'" Flanagan was saucy-Iiterallyand figlU!rati.vely: "Her faults were.a trifUng love of Hq1llo r, exc ess ive filthiness, and Ell. total d isregar dl to all the decencies of hmgll.~e." Cooper wrote that it was no accident Betty came up with 80 worthya new drink: "JE;Hz.abeth Flanagan was peeu]iarly 'wen qualified by educarionand circumstances toperfect this improvement in liquors, having been lbrcfUJJght up on its prineipal ingredlient. '" Cooper was embellishing what: waselready a common

13

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tale of the cocktail, that a patriotic barmaid during the Revolution plucked the feathers from some local Tory's roosters (just as she might have plucked King George's beard, if he had one) and then tau nte d the loyalist by decor a ting he r inn's d ri nkswith the coo cks' tails that she had stolen. A good story, but as William Grimes concluded in his book Straight Up O'r Ontll,e Rocks. A CuttuTa,~ His:tory of Amer~ca:n Dl'ink" a "thoroughly spurious anecdote." .Alii. Crimesputs itt,. "Like a bad alibi, ]~ is at once too vague and too specific."

Among the long line of apocryphal stories attempting to answer the question (there once was a. thirstyAztec king whose daughter was namedXoehitl .. ,). one of the most repeated and least ridiculous is the foundingmyth centered in New Orleans, a town sHU legendary for its drinking. At first glane,e., New Orleans miglat not Ionk [ike much of a place for proper cocktails. Every third d o Glway in the French Quarter is a "Daiquiri hat"-each one the same phalanx of Slurpee-bke machines behind a counter, and each awash withthe same rainbow selection of swirling rum slush, Pick ycnufavorite cohn 0] "the atuff and the Daiquiri jerk puns a lever, fining a. deep plastic cup for you to take out on the street, I just happened to he .in New Orleans a fe"r weeks before Hurricane Katrina, and] didn't noticea single Daiquiri bar. promising a het~,el' tasting slush than theil' competitors. several did, however, advertise "TheWorld's Strongest Drink," which. is some indi ca tion of thepriorities at wo rk,

But for all the induatrialised bacch.anal, New Orleans hastraditionally been home to. a remarkably civilized! cocktail culture+if you find your way to the right bars. 0 n ahot afternoon, N ap o~eo 11 H ous e is thepliace for a Pimm's Cup; the house cocktail at Lafitte's Blacksmith Shop is .a" Martini laced with faux-absinthe caned an

~14

Obituary Cocktail. up until Katrina, the Fairmont (nee Roosevelt) Hotel was still shaking up the Ramos Gin Fizzes that welt Huey LOirAg"S favorite. (The Kingfish was so devoted 'Ito the Ramos Gin Fizz that when he became Senator long, he hroughta man from the Roosevelt to Washin.gton '~O teach a. small army cd n.,C. bartenders lllOW tnmake the drink.)

Then there's. the Hotel MmJlteleone's Carousel Bar, where the eireularhar revolves slowly under at whimsical carnival canopy of carved wood, mirrors, andbare bulbs, Thebarstools don't go up and down, thankfully, hilt the experience Call! still he a Iittle disurienting; get caught up in. at conversation, and the next thing you know. you "re on the other side .0.[ the room .. Ask bartend er Marvin Allen to mix you up a Vieux Ca rre, a terrific drink inve nte o. lYy the Ca rons e I 's harman in the 1930:8, and unknown to most mixologists outaide of the Hotd Monteleone.

VIE,UX CAR'RE Dash P~ychaud's BfUer.s D ash A ngostura Siilters V2 teal51p()OIll BenedIctine 1 V~ oz. cognac

il::! oz rye whis.key

V:t 02: swe~~ vermouth

IiI's fitting that Ne'w Orleans should have a thriving cocktail eulture, giveniliail: the cocktail, not jazz., has Iong been claimed tobethe first.Ameriean art formhorn in the Creseent City. The story goes that

HOW'.!, YOUR I!)IA'IINIK?

sometime around the turn of the 19th century, .9.. Creole apothecary named. Antoine Peychaud started mixing his medicinal hitterswith sugar and cognaeand serving them. up an his pharmacy in a French egg(!u.p called a coquet~er. Eng1isl~-speakel'~ soon corrupted the word to codctail, The story is spurious, to be sure, the timeline is such that old Antoine couldn't have even hittered his first brandy when cocktail turned up iID. print way ll!p north in Yankee territory.

But it's still as good a story a.sany. mainly because it provides a plausible reason for the drink's particular ingredients, liquor. suga:r" and hitters. Edward Henry Duren, Wll'iting under the pseudonym "H. Ilidimus, " describesbeing introduced to the "brandy cocktail" in New Orleans around rflqo, and he makes H clear that it's the bitten that made the drmk, As Iate as 1934., Webster's :stiH defined a cock'tCl!il as "a short drink, iced, of spirituous liquor well mixed with flavoring ingreclients, commonly including bitters."

\Vhy bitters? Back. before the Pure Food and Drug Act 01' ]906 put theki.bosh on snake oil, hitters--Irerb-and-root tinctures=were a thriving categmy in the patent medicine business. Visit theiqth-cenwry New Orleans pharmacy on Chartres Street that's now amnseum and you'll find shelvesfull of old bottles of Boker '8 Bitters, Stoughton' g Bitters, Hofstetter 's Stomaeh Bitters, and GoRd lion Celery Bitters (not far from Brodie's. Diarrhe a Cordial) .By the looks ofthe s tuff, a spoon - fill of sugar just might not have been enough to make the medicine go down" and. that'swhere the brandy <comes in. The surprise wasn't that the medicine was morepalatable with a dug of liquor. hutthat the liquor benefited. from the complex herbal flavorsin the bitters.

Cooktailahave long since come to mean JUS1! about any mixed drink That, and certain advances in medicine over the last hundred

16

years,. have wreaked havoc with the bitters biz. Angostura persists, but Peycheud's+with rts spicy, peppery quality suggestive ·0] cinnamon Ahoids;-would prolbably havegDue the way of Hofstetter" s and Eaker's and the rest if it weren't :Eor New Orleans' private social dubs. The members 0:£ the Pickwick Club, amOl!J.g others, eontinued over ,tthe decades to drink obscure, traditional New Orleans cocktails that can for Peychaud's hitters in quantines sufficient to keep the brand. alive. That's a good t!1ing,becausew:i.thout Peychaud".s. you can't make that most iconic of New Orleans cocktails, the Sazerac.which traces its lineage all the way back to Antome Peychaurl's apothecary shop.

I tried. a slew 0] Sazeraes in the Crescent City, and the best by Jar was the one crafted Eor me by the dean of New Orleansbartenders, Chris McMHliiian. .. He hulds court evenings at the UJi::n'ary Lounge in the Ritz-Carlton, wherehe mixes superh cocktails and shares what he's learned researching the history ofArnerican dtinks.

The Sazerae takes its name from a. brand. of cognac popular in New Grleans in the Hjth century, but by the 189°6. the cognac was out and. rye whiskey was in. MeMillian puts two lleavy- bottomed. short glasses on the bar. One he nus with ice to chill, inthe other, he mixes the drink. He to 88 e 8 a dash e aeh of Peychaud's and Angostura b itters onto at sugar cubevrogeeher with a small splash of water, He crushes the ~ugar with a muddler (the bar equivalent ofa pestle) unttl it is t]1LDroughly dissolved .

. ~1cMilH.an adds Old Overhclt Rye to the bitters-and-sugar mixture and stirs it with ice .. Out of the other glass he tosses the ice and into it he puts a tablespoon's worth 0] Herbsaint, a substitute for the now-megaRAb:sinl1he that wonldhave been used in Peychaud's day. He spins that glass in the air to give the inside an even coating of the

17

HOW'.!, YOUR I!)IA'IINIK?

green liqueurand then Iets the excess drip out Into that glass, llvlcMillian strains the ice- cold rye that's been stained red by the bitters, and then he gives ilt a.lemon twist.

EtmaY[1!ot be the WorM's Strongest Drink, but the Sazerac, with its spicy-sweet contradictions, isa cocktail aecording to the original specifications, Taste one, andyou'll realize why the concept caught on.

SA .. ZEAAC

1 cuhe of sugar

2: dashes P€ychimd's Bit~.€lrs 2 oz rye whislkey or cogno;llc lHIerbs.ailflt or Rka'ird liqueur

Dissolve sugar in biiier« and a splas.h of water. Sf:ir with wh.iskey or cognac Q,nd ice. S:t'raln. into an. Herbs.aint'~coa.t"fJ'd glass. Lemontwi.st' ..

Even adler the cocktail began its. inexnrable march 0::1:' conquest over the world of d.rIJ.1Lk:, there was no s.hortat.ge of conservatrve souls who. mHit:ded 'Eor '[he old s·t~,ndbys that the coekcaiihad begun to. displace, especially in stodgy old! England. By the late 18008, venerable colonial favorites Iike the Shrub ''''ere scarce in the States but still going strong in Britain .. Pts late asthe mid- [9th century, the British parliament was sHn grappling with how to regulate the booming trade in "rum - shrub" corning from the U.S.

"There never was any Iiquor so good as 111m. shrub .. " That rather bold endorsement comesby way o[Win~.8lm. Make]peaGe Thackeray, in a serialized novel with the wonderful title. The Adventures of PMUp .on His- Way Through the WorLd: Showing W'tw Robbed Him,. W7Hl fIdpB.d H~m. and Who Passed Him By. Shrub turns up time and again in Thackeray's

stories.perhaps mast famously when a 'bottle ~~ Shrub is responsible for turning scl1ooliboy William Ilohhin into the hero of Va;ni:ty FaiT (welt at [east as much of a hero as one can get ina book subtitled A N,o~eiwtth:o~u;t a Hero) ..

A sehoul bully named C1iJJf~fhaHElejJ.1'~ scrawny lit-de George Osbourne "to runa quarter of a mile, to purchase a pint of rum-shruh on credit" and to sneak the bottle back to the school playgmuncL The poor little Iellow slips coming over the wall, and. the hnttle is shattered .. "How dlare you 1 sir, break it?" bellows the bully. "You blunderinglittlethjef, You drankthe ShIUb. and now ynu pretend to have broken the bottle, HoM. out you!" hand, sir." Cuff proceeds to thwack the trembling, moaning child's hand with a cricket stump again and [iI.gain-until Dubbin steps in, He promises to give Cuff "the worst thrashingyou ever had in your life. " 'Which is exactly what he does.

Shruhhas likely notbeen implicated in any brawls :Eor more than a centll.ry,.so <completely has hfa]len out of use. But otILceupon a time, it WfJ.;S as popular as it was versatile. Shru.b per sc refers to a style of fruit Syl'Up born in colonial America. Usually made with vinegar. the syrlllp could sit on the shelf fnr Iong; unrefrigerated stretches .. The syru.p couldbe mixed. with cold water for a refreshing summer soft drink, or+rnore often than not in the well-lnhrieaterl days o~f the Founding Fathers+rum or some other spirit rounded out the glass. One of the fewplaces you can rind. the drink on the menu tmi1]Y is Philadelphia's Ci1[y Tavern, which. combines waiters in breeches and mob-capped waitresses with. serious colonial-style cuisine .. At the City Tavern, yon cam get your Shrub mixed with rum, brandy, or (lhampagne. However you take it,. at Eew sips will show why Shrub had sucha long run.

19

"In tiflese de$per.l'~e times of '",'ppl,e-til"!is,' Red BuU and vodka, and lo'W-(arb beer, HoW'$ Your Drink? is O! wekome snd bracing tonic. a trlwmphalflt malilifes'bo o,n cod~ailing with $~yle, packed with more yarns alf'ldllom thana battahon of bartenders, S;!lluM~"

HO AlliLE::N, TOP C~H AND UNCOQKED, WIN£ NADE !;,tMPl..f

"WhQ knew drinking could be so m!.u;1, fUlfil? Oh right-ju$~ ",bout everybody. ~rir; Felten has

a va $'~ k n ow~e,dge, a sly :oE! n se of h u m 0 r, a nld a k n Oleic, fQlr tell i ng wo !'lId e rf,u I :sto ii e:o-gfft:oa s €ls.E,,@!nti,'1),1 to a wrlbsras to a Dari€indl€ir, Not slnce Kinlgsl@y Armis's classic On .Drink have readers IO€l@!111 h'@!ilt,@d to such an €i,njoyabl,@ guid@ EO. what, when, and how to fipple,"

M~DRI!;W H,I'I'GUS,ONl, LAND 01= UNCO;l"N

"This isa book that will do for dl"ilnker$ what the Communis! Han~fe's~o did for~h .... worke'l"s

of the world, except more @UGc€i'ssfullly, .u'idl with a lot more fruit garnish. It will IlibeHrt€t 'US from Marg;arifas €t.drud€td by nn .. chon€t end b .. rhtnd€:rs using vodk .. "o rm,ab~ Malrfinis w~fhout .. s,kil1g permlsslcn. Wf: naVe r1Qthi,ng ~o lo.$'~ but our plOl!Otk be'f:1' CUP$,"

P!;HR S,AJGALI., 7'/,./[ BOOK Of \lIC[ AND Hon OF NN!"S WAiT WAILDON'j T~U M~!

"Er ic Felten turns the mixed drink into the star of highly anecdotal and historic:lll~y fa sc i n <'It i ng S<ilgas 111 at m .. ke for glre.at re .. d i ng-,eve 111 if you' re 1!I~,eetotllll er, ~

AllOY MAXA. PBS'S SNlJ,RT TRAV.nS A_NO I"IPR'S rue SllV'VY TJ:iAV£I...E~

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