NEW YORKER IN TONDO SCRIPT Mrs. M: Yes, you must bring her back as soon as possible.
s, you must bring her back as soon as possible. We miss her when we play mahjong… (Tony
Kikay - A girl who goes to New York and fell in love with it. She acquires all the New Yorkers' things -
style, looks, language and manners.
Mrs. Mendoza / Aling Atang, mother of Kikay, has been carried away by her daughter's way of living.
She tries to converse with everybody in broken English.
Tony, sweetheart of Kikay, decides to visit and catch things up with his friend. He is a simple guy who
got secretly engaged with their other childhood friend, Nena.
Nena is a tomboyish type of girl. On her visit in Kikay's house, she finds her friend different and weird.
She gets irritated. Totoy, the Tondo "canto boy" is their other friend who is funny and has a secret love
for Nena which has only been revealed when the two females had a clash.
Scene 1:
*doorbell rings*
Mrs. M: (Gets up from seat) Visitors, always visitors, nothing but visitors all day long. I'm beginning to
feel like a society matron.
*opens door*
Mrs. M: Tony! I thought you were on the province.
Tony: Is that you Aling Atang?
Mrs. M: of course it's me, foolish boy. Why?
Tony: You don't look like Aling Atang.
Mrs. M: I had a haircut. Think it's horrible?
Tony: Oh, no, no. You look just wonderful. Aling Atang for a moment, I thought you were Kikay.
Mrs. M: Oh, you are so palikero as ever, Tony. But come in. Here, sit down. (Tony takes a seat.) How is
your mother? (Hands him a glass of juice from the table)
Tony: Thank you. Oh, my poor mother. She's homesick for Tondo. (Sips juice) She wants to come back
here at once. Hey, this is pretty good.
Mrs. M: Thank you. How long have you been away? (Tony drinks more juice)
Tony: Only 3 months..
Mrs. M: Three months!!! It's too long for a Tondo native to be away from Tondo. My poor kumare. She
must be bored to death out there. (Tony drinks more juice)
Tony: Well, you know, we engineers are always on call. But as soon as I finish the bridge in Bulacan,
we'll be coming back here to Tondo.
drinks more juice)
Tony: Mm, that's what she misses most of all.
Mrs. M: I understand. Once a Tondo girl, always a Tondo girl. I wonder if that's fit my Kikay because
after a year in America, she says she's not homesick at all.
Tony: When did Kikay arrive, Aling Atang?
Mrs. M: Last Monday.
Tony: I didn't know it 'till I read it in the newspaper. (drinks juice)
Mrs. M: That girl only arrived last Monday and look what happened to me! She dragged me to the parlor
and my hair was cut, eyebrows shaved and nails manicured. And when I'm going to the market, she
makes me use lipstick! All my kumare are laughing. People think I'm a loose woman. But I can't do
anything because it's hard to argue with Kikay. And she insists that I should look like an Americana!
Tony: (places glass down on the table) Oh, but you look just wonderful. Anyway, where is she now?
Mrs. M: Who?
Tony: Kikay. Is she here at home?
Mrs. M: She's still sleeping…
Tony: Still sleeping!!! But it's already 10:00!
Mrs. M: She says that in New York, people don't wake up until 12:00 noon.
Tony: Wow. They must be huge people.
Mrs. M: Besides, she's busy. Since she came home, there've been welcome parties here and there and
visitors all day long! She's spinning like a top.
Tony: Well, will you tell her I came to welcome her? And kindly give her these flowers.
*hands the flowers and stands to go*
Mrs. M: But surely you're not going yet?
Tony: I did want to see Kikay, but if she doesn't get up until noon…
Mrs. M: Wait a minute. I'll go and wake her up. Tony: Please don't bother, Aling Atang. I can come back
some other time.
Mrs. M: (stands and sits Tony down) No. no! She'll simply be delighted to see her childhood friend. Just
wait here. The flowers are beautiful, how expensive they must be.
Tony: Oh, they're nothing, Aling Atang.
Mrs. M: Oh, and Tony… Totoy: You old son of your father!

Tony: Yes Aling Atang? Tony: You big carabao!

Mrs. M: You mustn't call me "Aling Atang" Totoy: Mayroon ba tayo dyan?

Tony: Umm… why not? Tony: You ask me that… and you look like a walking goldmine! How many depots have you been
looting, huh?
Mrs. M: Kikay says that it's more civilized to call me Mrs. Mendoza.
Totoy: Hey, hey!!! A little more slowly there. It's you the police are looking for.
Tony: Yes Aling- I mean, Yes, Mrs. Mendoza..
Tony: Impossible! I'm a reformed character! Come in Totoy. *lets Totoy in*
Mrs. M: Wait a minute and I'll call Kikay.
Tony: Good to see you old pal. Here, have a smoke.
Tony: Okay.
*hands Totoy a cigarette*
Mrs. M: Oh! Tony, one more thing.
Totoy: I thought you were in the province, partner.
Tony: Yes, Aling- I mean, Mrs. Mendoza?
Tony: I am… Or, well, was. And will be again. I just came to say hello to Kikay.
Mrs. M: You must not call her Kikay.
Totoy: Tony, I've been hearing the craziest things about that girl.
Tony: Then what shall I call her?
Tony: So have I.
Mrs. M: You must call her Francesca.
Totoy: People say she's gone nuts.
Tony: Francisca?
Tony: No, she has only gone to New York.
Mrs. M: Not Francisca, Fran-CES-ca…
Totoy: What was she doing there, anyway?
Tony: But why Francesca?
Tony: Oh, studying.
Mrs. M: Because in New York, she says that's the way they call her. So be sure to call her Francesca
and not Kikay. Totoy: Studying? Studying what?

Tony: Yes, Mrs. Mendoza. Tony: Hair culture and Beauty Science. She got a diploma.

Mrs. M: Now, wait right here while I call Francesca. Totoy: Imagine that! Our dear old Kikay, getting a diploma in cosmetics…

*doorbell rings* Tony: Pardon me, she's not Kikay anymore,.. She's Fran-CES-ca now

Mrs. M: AIE DIOSMIO!!! Totoy: Fran-CES-ca???

Tony: Never mind Mrs. Mendoza, I'll answer it. Tony: Our dear Kikay is now an American. Or is, at least, forcing us to believe she is one.

Mrs. M: Just tell them to wait, Tony. Totoy: Tch! Don't make me laugh! I knew that girl when she was still selling rice cakes on the sidewalks.

Scene 2: (Stands up and imitates Kikay selling puto) Puto kayo dyan!! Bili na kayo ng puto, mga suki!!!

Totoy: Tony! *Tony laughs*

Tony: Totoy! Tony: And do you remember when we pushed her into the canal?
Totoy: (laughs) She chased us around the streets! Nena: Aling Atang, you don't need prepare anything for us. We're not visiting for very long.

Tony: She was dripping with mud! Mrs. M: It's only orange juice. I was preparing some for Kikay, anyway

*Both laugh* . *Goes into the kitchen, followed by Totoy. Nena and Tony are left alone*

Totoy: Naku! How that girl could fight! Nena: Well. Tony.

Scene 3: Tony: You shouldn't have come today, Nena.

*doorbell rings. Totoy stands to get it* Nena: Oh, why not?

Nena: Why, Totoy! Tony: I haven't talked with Kikay yet.

Totoy: Nena, my dear. Nena: Not yet?! I thought you said it last night.

*Nena steps in* Tony: I couldn't. I lost my nerve.

Nena: And Tony, too! What's all this? A Canto Boy Reunion? Nena: Oh Tony! Tony: Use your head, Nena. It's not easy breaking off this engagement with Kikay, for
God's sake!!
Totoy: We have come to greet the Lady from New York.
Nena: Are you in love with Kikay or with me?
Nena: So have I. Is she at home? Tony: Aling Atang is trying to wake her up. Nana: Wake her up?!
Don't tell me she's still sleeping!!! Tony: Of course with you! I'm engaged with you.

*Mrs. M enters, carrying a bag of juice powder* Nena: Yes, and with Kikay too!

Mrs. M: No, no, dear, she's awake already. Just dressing. Good morning Nena, Totoy. (nods head at Tony: That was a year ago! Nena, you know how much I love you.
both of them)
Nena: How could you ask me if you're still engaged with Kikay!
*Both stare at Mrs. M, wide-eyed*
Tony: This is what I get for being honest!?
Mrs. M: Well, Totoy? Nena? Why are you staring at me like that?
Nena: Honest? Making me fall for you when you're in love and engaged with Kikay!? Tony: I thought I
Nena: Is that you, Aling Atang? didn't belong to Kikay anymore. It's only a secret engagement anyway. I proposed to her before she left
for America. But when she stopped answering my letters… I considered myself a free man again.
Totoy: Good God, it is her!
Nena: And so you proposed to me.
Mrs. M: It's Kikay who prefers it for me to be this way.
Tony: Yes…
Nena: I can barely believe it's the same old Aling Atang. How you used to pinch and pinch us when we
were little! Nena: Then, you tell me to keep it a secret!?

Mrs. M: Because you were always naughty, especially you! Always sneaking into our backyard for Tony: Well, that's because I found out that Kikay was coming back!
mangoes…
Nena: Ugh! I'm tired of being secretly engaged to you!
Nena: Do you still have that mango tree?
Tony: Just give me a chance to explain to Kikay. Then we'll tell them. All of it. To all of them.
Mrs. M: (stares at Nena. Nena smiles sheepishly.) Yes. Now, come and help me carry something to the
kitchen. Nena: Well, you better hurry. I'm getting impatient.

*Totoy starts following Aling Atang* Tony: I only have one problem. How can I talk to Kikay?
Nena: What do you mean? Tony: You're here, and also Totoy. I don't wanna jilt Kikay in front of Kikay: Poor mumsy. How pathetic!
everybody.
Nena: So…tell us about New York.
Nena: You want Totoy and me to clear out?
Tony: Yeah. Exactly how long did you stay there?
Tony: No… just give me a chance to be alone with Kikay for just a moment.
Kikay: 10 months, 4 days, 7 hours and 21 minutes. Tony: (Whispers) Maybe I was being too specific…
Nena: Sure. I'll take care of Totoy. Tony: That's good. Thanks.
Totoy: And she's still there…. In her dreams…
Nena: You're welcome. Just leave it to me.
Kikay: Yes, I feel as if I was still there, as though I had never left it, as though I have lived there all my
Scene 4: life. But I look around me and realize that no. No, I'm not there. I'm not in New York. I'm at home, in
Tondo, in the Philippines. But which is home for me? This cannot be my real home because here, my
*Mrs. M enters with glasses of juice on a tray* heart aches with homesickness…

Mrs. M: Here comes Kikay, but remember, she wants to be called Francesca. *Kikay ad-lib about how life was so wonderful in New York. The other three whisper among themselves*

*the three nod* Nena: I don't think we ought to be here at all.

Kikay: Oh hello darling people!! Nena my dear, you've gotten so gorgeous! And Tony, my little pal… Tony: Yeah, we shouldn't disturb her as she... daydreams.
how are you? And Totoy… my old friend! You all look great, like a Tondo Super Production in
Technicolor!!! (laughs) But sit down everybody and let me look at you… Oh mumsy!!! Totoy: Let's all just walk out very, very quietly.

Mrs. M: (rolls eyes) What's the matter now? Nena: And leave her alone with her memories.

Kikay: How many times must I tell you never to serve fruit juices in water glasses? Mrs. M: I couldn't find Kikay: Ah, New York , my own dear New York …
those tall glasses you brought home.
Nena: (stands) Totoy, will you come with me?
Kikay: Oh, poor li'l mumsy. She is so clumsy, noh? But never mind, don't break your heart about it.
Here, sit down. Totoy: To the ends of the earth!

Mrs. M: No, I must be going to the market. Nena: Uh…No. Just out to the backyard.

Kikay: Oh, don't forget my celery, then. I can't live without it. I'm like a rabbit, munching all day.(Laughs,
the others exchange looks)
Mrs. M: Okay. (Stands) Well, if you people will excuse me. Tony, remember to tell your mother I said
"Hello".
Totoy: Oh, the backyards of Tondo, the barong barongs of Mypaho, the streets of Sibakong…
Nena: Listen Idiot! Are you coming with me or not???
Totoy: I'll follow you anywhere, dream girl. Anywhere at all!!!

Tony: (Nods.) Yes, ma'am. Scene 5:

Kikay: And remember, a little bloom on the lips, a little bloom on the cheeks. Say mwah, mwah. Kikay: Apparently, our Totoy still has a most terrific crush on Nena. (Looks at Tony) What are you
looking so miserable about?
Mrs. M: Do I have to, Kikay?
Tony: Kikay… I don't know how to begin.
Kikay: Say that again, please, mumsy?
Kikay: Just call me Francesca… that's a good beginning.
Mrs. M: Do I have to paint this old face of mine? Francesca, what am I going to do with you?
Tony: There's something I have to tell you… something very important.
Kikay: But how dreadfully you put it. Oh mumsy, what am I going to do with you? Mrs. M: Oh, I give up!
(exits) Kikay: Oh, Tony, can't we just forget all about it?
Tony: Forget??? Nena: What's all this?

Kikay: That's the New York way, Tony. Forget, nothing must ever be too serious; nothing must drag on Kikay: Nothing… nothing at all.
too long. Tonight, give all your heart, tomorrow, forget! And when you meet again, smile, shake hands…
just be good sports. Tony: What are you talking about? Totoy: You expect me to believe that? What were you two quarrelling about?

Kikay: Tony, I was only a child at that time. Kikay: We weren't quarrelling! Tony and I just decided to be good friends and nothing more!

Tony: When? Nena: Tony, is that true?

Kikay: When you and I got engaged. I've changed so much since then, Tony. Tony: *glares at Kikay* Yeah.

Tony: But that was only a year ago… Nena: So now we can tell them!

Kikay: To me, it seems a century. So much has happened to me. More can happen to you in just one Kikay: Tell us what?
year in New York .
Totoy: (lets go of Tony) What's going on here?
Tony: Listen, I don't want to talk about New York … I want to talk about our engagement.
Nena: Tony and I are engaged!!
Kikay: And that's what we cannot do, Tony. Not anymore.
Kikay: Engaged!!!
Tony: What?! Why?!
Totoy: Engaged! Engaged?!?!
Kikay: Tony, you got engaged to a girl named Kikay. Well, that girl doesn't exist anymore. She's dead.
The person you see before you is Francesca. Don't you see, Tony, I'm a stranger to you. I hate to hurt Nena: Yes! We've been secretly engaged for a month! (walks over to Tony and holds his arm)
you, but surely you see that there can be no more talk of an engagement between us. Imagine, a New
York Girl, marrying a Tondo Boy! (laughs) It's so insane!!! (shakes head) No, it cannot be. Kikay: A month!? (stands) Why you….you…

Tony: Hey, look here… Tony: (shrugs and speaks coolly) Well, I did try to tell you Kikay, I was trying to tell you…

Kikay: I'm sorry if I've hurt you, Tony. Kikay: You unspeakable cad!!

Tony: I'm not going to sit here and be insulted! (Stands up) Nena: Hey, carefully there!! You're speaking to my fiancé.

Kikay: Hush, Tony! Hush! Don't shout, don't lose your temper. It's so uncivilized. People in New York Kikay: He's not your fiancé!
don't lose their temper.
Nena: Oh, no? And why not, huh?
Tony: What do you want me to do? Smile and say thank you for dissing me?
Kikay: Because he was still engaged to me when he got engaged to you!
Kikay: Yes, Tony. Be a sport, let's smile and shake hands, and just be friends, huh?
Nena: Well, he's not engaged to you anymore, you just said it yourself.
Tony: I swear, if you weren't a woman, I'd… I'd…
Kikay: Well, yeah, but I didn't know about all this!
*leans very close to Kikay, points finger at her*
Tony: Now remember, Kikay… (folds arms) it's so uncivilized to lose one's temper, people in New York
Scene 6: * don't lose their temper.

Totoy and Nena suddenly walk into the room* Kikay: I've never felt so humiliated in all my life! You beast, I'll teach you!!!

Totoy: Hold it Tony! (pulls Tony away from Kikay) You must never, ever hit a woman. *tries to slap Tony. Nena blocks it*

Tony: Let go of me! I wasn't going to! And if I did, it's her fault! Nena: I told you to leave him alone! He's my fiancé!!!
Kikay: And I tell you he's not!! He's engaged to me until I release him… and I haven't released him yet. Kikay: (rushes over to Tony) Tony! Tony, open your eyes!

Nena: You ought to be ashamed of yourself! You're just being a dog in the manger! Tony: (Opens eyes and sits up) Oh, get away from her!

Kikay: You ought to be ashamed of yourself! Stealing my man behind my back! Nena: (Turns to Totoy and pleads) Take me away from here!

Nena: What? What did you say?!?! Totoy: Are you still engaged to him?

Tony: (worried) Totoy, pull them apart before anything happens! Nena: No, and I hate him! I never want to see him again in my life!

*Totoy tries to approach the girls, but Kikay yells at him* Totoy: Good! Come on, let's go!

Kikay: You keep out of this or I'll knock your head off!!! Tony: Hey! (Starts getting up to his feet)

Totoy: Naku, lumabas din ang pagka-Tondo! Nena: Don't you speak to me, you brute!

Nena: Shameless hussy!! Tony: Feeler! I wasn't talking to you!

Kikay: Man eater!!! Totoy: Don't you speak to me either! You have insulted the woman I love!

*Nena punches Kikay in the stomach* Nena: Oh, Totoy, why have you never told me?

Kikay: Aah!!! (falls on her knees to the floor, gasping for air) Totoy: Well, now you know.

Tony: How dare you sock her?!?! Tony: Oh please, I'm dying with the cheesiness.

Nena: Well, she hit me first! Nena: Hmph! Let's go darling; I don't like the smell around here.

Tony: (Comes to Kikay's side) Look what you've done to her! *The two exit*

Nena: Are you trying to defend her? You never defended me! Tony: Yeah! And good riddance!

Tony: Oh, just Shut up!!! *Slowly begins sniffing armpit*

Nena: I hate you! I hate you! (starts crying) Scene 7:

Tony: Shut up or I'll bash your mouth off!! Tony: (Turns to Kikay) You've ruined my life! I hope you're satisfied!

Totoy: Hey, don't you talk to Nena that way. Kikay: I ruined your life??? You ruined mine!!!

Tony: You keep out of this! Tony: You know what you need? What you need is a good spanking! (points finger at Kikay)

Nena: He's more of a gentleman than you are. He defends me! (Tony stands and gets ready to punch Kikay: Don't you come near me, you…you Canto Boy!
Nena)
Tony: Don't worry; I wouldn't touch you. (Sits on the chair and cups face in hands).
Tony: I already warned you…
Kikay: And I wouldn't touch you. (Sits beside him)
Totoy: You take your hands off her!
Tony: (Shakes head and sighs exasperatingly. Looks up at Kikay) Just one year in New York and you
Tony: I told you to keep out of this! (Totoy socks him anyway. Tony is knocked down.) forgot your old friends.

Nena: Oh, Totoy, you've saved my life! (Hugs Totoy)

Kikay: Just one year with me away in New York … and what did you do? But when we got engaged, you *Mrs. M enters*
swore to be true. You promised you'd wait for me. And I believed you. Oh, you're a fickle, fickle... (starts
to cry) Mrs. M: Oh, Tony, are you still here? Francesca, don't be angry, but I couldn't find any celery.

Tony: Tch! What are you crying about? Be brave, forget! Isn't that the New York way? Nothing must ever Kikay: Oh, never mind, Inay. I hate celery!
be too serious, nothing must ever drag on too long.
Mrs. M: Hate celery? You said you couldn't live without it!
Kikay: Oh Tony, please, please! Don't say that!
Tony: That was Francesca, Aling Atang. And Francesca is dead. The girl right here before you is Kikay!
Tony: (Crosses arms.) Besides, there could be no more talk of an engagement between us. Imagine a
New York Girl, marrying a Tondo boy!!! Ha! What a joke! Mrs. M: But Kikay is Francesca… Kikay: Oh, no, Inay, I'm not Francesca, I'm Kikay!

Kikay: Oh Tony, I've been such a fool... I'm sorry, Tony… Mrs. M: Oh, I give up!!!

Tony: Well, I'm not! I'm glad I found out what kind of a person you are! (Walks out of the room!)

Kikay: Oh Tony, you're wrong, you're wrong! I'm not that kind of person at all! *Music starts playing from outside*

Tony: Oh, so "person" is just a relative name, huh? Kikay: Do you hear that? That tune! What memories it brings back! I first heard it in New York, at Eddie
Candon's… Tony: (stands, crosses arms) Uh-huh.
Kikay: Yes, Tony. Look, I'm sorry! (Stands) That was Francesca saying all that. But Francesca exists no
more, Tony. The girl standing before you now is Kikay. Kikay: Sorry darling. May I have this dance with you?

Tony: In that silly dress? Tony: (gets into dancing position) I'd be delighted, Madame.

Kikay: Oh this is just gift wrapping, Tony. (The two start dancing. END)

Tony: (Amused) Well, well, well. (Sits back against backrest)

Kikay: It's true Tony. I'm Kikay….remember me??

Tony: If I remember it right, then I was engaged to a girl named Kikay.

Kikay: Yes, and you're still engaged to her, Tony!

*Tony smiles. Kikay smiles*

Tony: Welcome home Kikay. Tell me now, how was the trip?

Kikay: Horrible!! I couldn't wait to get back.

Tony: Liked it in New York?

Kikay: Uh-uh! Give me Tondo anytime!

Tony: Why didn't you answer my letters?

Kikay: Francesca wouldn't let me write, Tony.

Tony: That nasty girl. I'm glad she's dead.

*Both chuckle. Stare into each other's eyes*