I recently lost my sister to lung cancer from smoking addiction, and even

more recently my niece to heroin addiction.  My sister was in her early

fifties and my niece – only 32- Neither wanted to die – not really – sure
they both knew it could happen – anyone who smokes cigarettes or uses
heroin knows that it could happen.    When I think of both of them, I
believe that what they really wanted was inner peace and ease of living.

I also believe that they just didn’t have healthy coping mechanisms.  In
their moments of sadness, anxiety, uncertainty, disappointment, or
stress, they turned to quick fixes to help ease those feelings.

Our Drug-ingesting Society

This is the message we get isn’t it, that as a society, if your not feeling
well, you have a tension headache, trouble sleeping, indigestion,
whatever it is, you should head for the medicine cabinet.  Medicine is
very easy to get – CVS, Rite Aide, and Walgreens dotted on the corners of
America- everywhere, and usually all within a rocks throw of one another
– illegal drugs can also be had on most street corners of America, or from
friends of friends, or their medicine cabinet.

Medicine is also usually very effective -and our quick fix mentality would
rather take a pill then to look deeper to what might be the issue.  This
then becomes the vehicle to get you through whatever discomfort you
are feeling.  I can’t speak for everyone, but I certainly do not remember
learning that if your body is feeling that something is wrong, you should
listen to it, really listen to it, to see what is underneath the symptoms –
that might be worth listening to and could tell you a very complex story –
the story of you.

Im not saying that if you have a headache you should sit down and have a
discussion with yourself while you suffer through the pain, but if the
headaches are a stress reaction and you always head to your medicine
cabinet or your local CVS then this may be an ineffective coping pattern
or habit.
These habits likely give you a feeling of comfort and security – headache
-pill=relief, or anxiety-cigarette-dopamine release = relief, or cant cope
with the harsh realities of life-drug use- altered state of reality=relief –
and so on and so on.  Giving up these habits will cause stress and anxiety
– rather it is eating too much, reaching for the Advil, smoking, or heroin,
the choice to change is never an easy one.

My family, like many families, struggles with addiction.  Be that food,
cigarettes, or recreational drugs.  For myself, I was very fortunate to
have an experience that encouraged mindfulness and meditation as a
way of dealing with addiction and coping with life’s everyday trials and
tribulations – After being addicted to cigarettes for 20 plus years and
morbidly obese for over 10 years - eventually I found a way to
effectively cope with my life.

Inner Awareness

My old patterns of reacting to situations in my life were very destructive,

in that, I used food to self medicate and I smoked cigarettes to relieve
anxiety and as a way to pass the time.  When stress occurred, or I felt
uncomfortable or stressed about a situation or event – I always turned to
outside sources to find relief. Not unlike the person who continually
reaches for the Advil for the stress headache.  Eventually finding myself
completely addicted to nicotine and morbidly obese at 274 pounds – I was
dying a little everyday.

I felt very alone in my addictions, often wishing that some person, some
where, would find me and offer me a hand up out of my smoking or
obesity.  Someone who would not criticize me or judge me, but just offer
me a hand up.  I know now that even though I felt very alone – I was not
alone at all- millions of people were doing the exact same thing that I
was doing – the level of addiction in our society – back then – told a
concerning story.

The level of addiction today recants a familiar tale – one that speaks to
collective, as well as individual pain and suffering and our struggle of
coping with our lives.  I wonder if inner peace and practicing presence in
our lives could be a viable solution for some – if given the opportunity to
be.

Connecting to the Inner You

In my books, Love Your Life, Eat Well, & Never Diet Again, and Tobacco
Is A Killer, I try to give some practical strategies for people struggling
with obesity or nicotine addiction.  Recently with my niece passing, I
realize how much its all the same struggle, rather it is food, drugs,
smoking, or pills, its all about being caught up in our own destructive
patterns of coping, our stress reactions and never learning a new way, or
trying a new way, to cope – in a healthy way.