"I'n1 very open -n1inded.
It is just
ilnportant to find a place where we
ROBERT J. NEBEL feel like we belong." - Eric Palefsky
Survey, published in February by the Center for Jewish Studies at The
Graduate Center of the City University of New York. Although the sur-
vey does not list reasons people join synagogues, some common ones
are the birth of a child, having children approaching bar or bat mitzvah
age or moving to a new community. Another reason has emerged since
September 11(h: more people, including Jews, want to become more
spiritual, and see joining a congregation as one way to do so.
So how do Atlanta Jews affiliate? Many prospective members and
synagogue staff members call it "synagogue shopping," the process by
which Jews visit area congregations to decide which to join. To under-
stand some of the issues Jewish Atlantans face as they "shop," Atlanta
Jewish Life visited with local families who have been - or are now on
- their own journey to affiliation.
The Wachtel •• An old-fashioned synagogue
Dunwoody is a suburban community with a number of synagogues,
a large Jewish community center and kosher offerings in the local super-
markets. It is these amenities that attracted Todd and Stephanie Wachtel to
move there &omin town (\'{oyearsago.Tcxid,r.llsedOnhodox, and Stephanie,
raised Reform, "have what's called a 'mixed-marriage,'" Todd jokes.
But the two are serious when it comes to deciding where they want-
ed to live and pray. "We felt that our old neighborhood was transient
and our children were not going to have lifelongfriends," explainsStephanie.
"We wanted an old-fashioned neighborhood."
The couple also wamed an old-fashioned congregation, one that
provided activities for their children - Rachel, 6, and three-year-old
David - as well as ways to make personal connections with adult con-
gregants, such as classes and lectures.
%en they started looking, the Wachtels narrowed down their search
to Toco Hills, Druid Hills and Dunwoody. %ile they say that overall,
the synagogues they visited were appealing, the Wachtels did not feel
the locations fit their lifestyle: they wanted to walk to services and a Jewish
community center, as well as have high-quality public schools and neigh-
bors with children nearby.
To them, that meam Dunwoody. In their research, the Wachtels
found one synagogue that put the family right near both a congrega-
tion and the Jee - Orthodox Congregation Ariel.
When the couple visited the synagogue for services, Todd says he
appreciated the way congregants approached the prospective members.
'Tm a low profile person and I'm not into an over-friendly environment,"
he adds. After visiting the congregation, Ariel's membership committee
members "ca.lled us up and asked if we had any questions. They invit~
ed us to a rabbi's lunch. I think they welcomed us just right."
The couple's "mixed marriage" is not as apparent anymore, as the
family has adopted many Orthodox practices. Much of the couple's choice
is based on their synagogue, according to Stephanie.
"We just love living here and affiliating with Ariel," she says. ''All
four of us walk together to temple. We have a real bond there. We final-
ly found a shul and community that allows us to be a family."
The Palefskys: Waiting for the Right Time
Up in Alpharetta, the Palefsky family still is looking. Erica and Elisa
Palefsky began their synagogue search when their now-six-year-old
daughter, Sydney, was an infant. They also have a daughter Marria, 2.
Being in Alpharetta, an up-and-coming suburb with a growing Jewish
population, the Palefskys quickly discovered that their choices were lim-
atlanta jewish life. 31