Title:My Sounds of Madness

Sick and tired,

I have been driven to the edge of total madness,
a desperating insanity,
that eats me from within,
little by little,
it poisons me,
thought by thought.
I have disconnected myself from my morals,
i seek for a solution to this sickening dump,
This insanity I speak of,
it has changed me,
degenerated me,
driven me to act as an animal.
Ive tried,
Ive smoked,
Ive kissed,
Ive touched,
Ive died.
In alcohol i found naught but emptiness,
sweaty nights and shallow mornings,
nothing more than a hologram of true happiness.
I want peace of mind,
of heart.
My depression has become my drug,
I have reached a point of pseudo-masochism,
In my sweet melancholy I feel,
I truly feel,
Id rather feel pain than nothing at all.
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Title: Do you know?

Ever had a feeling of rejection?

Ever felt unwanted?
Ever seen the flash of the smile of a person and see nothing more than the shall
ow desperation for affection that person has to satisfy?
Paint an image of how you would be if you felt this every single day of your dep
ression tinted, miserable life.
These feelings have led me to close myself,
to contain my feelings and my true personality into a shell.
A shell decorated by the shallowness of the fake image of a happy jock,
a badass.
They have led me to block out affection,
affection and care towards others,
I was comfortably indiferent.
Amongs this darkness I found myself in you,
you were my reason to change,
my reason to be all I can be,
First stinge of love I ever felt.
First time I finally opened myself to feeling,
lost my fear to feel,
cracked this shell open and let you in,
I am convinced of what I feel.