Holidays are Time for Peace Amid Conflict

Schenectady Gazette
December 31, 1988

It was the best Christmas and it was the worst. Few of us will ever forget how we
celebrated that year. We had been prepared by television, movies, books, songs
and family stories to spend Christmas in a combat zone. A great American “hero”,
Bob Hope, set the standard. It was a time of conflicting, ambiguous impressions.

I look back 20 years to Dragon Mountain, outside Pleiku. I celebrated the birth of
Jesus with warm champagne, scrambled eggs, Vietnamese bread and a cigar. We
had a two –foot-high plastic Christmas tree perched on sandbanks overlooking
the bunker. Oddly enough, I remember Christmas of 1968 with a sense of peace.
It a still point. While we carried weapons, I do not remember any noises louder
than the Christmas carols we sang. We never ran into the bunker to avoid
“incoming”. We were at peace, a peace heightened by the proximity of violence

Winston Churchill is reputed to have said “there is no greater feeling than to be

shot at and missed”. The men I ate with knew that feeling. We were alive and we
didn’t take that for granted. We appreciated each other. We were grateful.

I know it is trite but it seems like yesterday; and it was. It is also today. The
feelings are still there. As we approach 1989, I want to keep that gratitude. I draw
lessons from that experience that make my present more meaningful. I feel a
peace that is heightened by the proximity of violence. I celebrate by eating a fine
meal in my own home. Meanwhile, thousands go hungry and have no shelter. The
ambiguity challenges me to find the good that is present and to enjoy it while
working to decrease the violence. I can’t control the violence but there are some
ways to decrease its effect. Spirituality comes in exploring the ambiguity and
taking action.

1
Another aspect of that Christmas in Vietnam was the deep feeling for those I was
with. This year, I celebrated with a wife and two children, surrounded by friends
and co-workers I care for. The ghost of Christmas in the combat zone reminds me
how much we need each other. It helps me to see how much I need my family
and friends today.

But Christmas is more than gratitude, peace and friends. We celebrate the birth
of Jesus. For Christians it is the celebration of Hope. On that day 20 years ago,
without being overtly religious, we celebrated a hope that we would make it
home alive and that peace would come to Vietnam. We knew that peace was
more than the absence of war. Yes, we wanted the war to be over. We wanted
more however. We saw children whose lives were destroyed; villages that used to
exist. We saw the opposite of hope and we saw hope despite “reality.” I
remember Vietnamese with a willingness to go on, and still draw strength from
them. My wish for this New Year is that we will open the door to reconciliation
with Vietnam.

The births of my children have made me appreciate the meaning of this season.
They are a statement of hope in a personal way. In the middle of nuclear threats
and terrorism, we believe it is safe to bring children into the world. I do not know
that I would like to argue that point on an intellectual level, but having seen
devastation, I still believe that we can make a better life. Perhaps that is the
miracle of the season.

War teaches us so many lessons about life, but it is predominantly a male

experience. One has to be careful about drawing too many lessons from the
events of war. Again, there is an ambiguity. I don’t encourage others to get ready
for their Christmas in the combat zone. There are many opportunities to learn
from daily life. Intimacy, commitment, risk, interdependence, hope and
spirituality can be highlighted in other ways than killing.

The past 20 years have given me a broader perspective. I will advise my children
that there is some value to crucible experiences and they are available each day.
Most recently the opportunity presented itself in Armenia. What I experienced in
Vietnam may be drawn from disaster relief. Then there is the mundane work
2
many of us do. Each of us can put greater value into our daily labor, be it changing
diapers or changing the world. Our society could be better for the manner in
which we interact at work, in the community and with our families. We can put
down the little weapons we use to defend ourselves against our insecurities and
lack of hope.

I enter 1989 with the memory of my Christmas in a combat zone, but it is next
year that interests me the most. I learned some lessons, but what am I to do with
them? I would like to see 1989 be a still point. “Next year in Jerusalem”, let’s hope
so. Less homelessness, let’s hope so.US aid for Armenian relief. An end to the war
in Central America! “Let it be!” A safe environment! But peace begins with me.
Less reliance on lessons from a combat zone and more music in my life.
Reconciliation with Vietnam! Let Bob Hope broadcast from the inner cities.

Edward Murphy, a Saratoga Springs, is a Vietnam veteran and political activist. He

is a regular contributor to the Saturday Op-Ed page.