c







 
March 20, 2008 · View Comments

In 1995, I made my first big shift in my personality and perspective. I went from being an
employee and letting life live me, to being the CEO of Me, Incorporated, and choosing to live
my life as close to my own terms as possible. The exact moment this happened is etched in stone.
I was laying on the couch, facing the TV sideways, and it was tuned to PBS, which was in the
middle of a fund drive. Les Brown was talking about personal power and promoting his book,
Live Your Dreams. That was the start of me realizing just how much power we all have,
beginning with myself.

Since then, I¶ve learned that there are many challenges tied to choosing to live your life like a
leader. There are plenty of times where I¶ve fallen down on the job, and several more where I¶ve
come out okay, but maybe at a different point than I¶d originally intended. In the song ³Nobody
Told Me,´ John Lennon sings, ³Life is what happens when you¶re busy making plans,´ and boy,
that describes lots of moments in my professional life. I set goals, and life helps me accomplish
totally different ones.

Because of all this, I have a few thoughts from along the path. I hope these are useful to you in
your own journey.


 


I could recommend the book Self-Esteem, by Dr. Matthew McKay every day of the week, and it
wouldn¶t be enough times. Of all the many books I¶ve read and all the various ways I¶ve worked
towards developing myself, this one book gave me the most payoffs for the effort I put into it.
Basically, the book teaches you how to look to yourself for validation, look to yourself for
responsibility, and look to yourself for a center of power. I feel that without this base, most
everything else will eventually crumble.

Looking outside yourself for validation is a weakness that crushes most of your potential for
achieving big things. Starting with making yourself your core cheerleader sets you up for success
right away. Oh, and the #1 thing I learned from the book: fire your inner critic. This one piece of
advice alone was worth the book.

 




Beyond yourself, it helps to have intelligent supporters who will both challenge you and lend you
strength for those rare moments when you use up your own. This comes after building your own
inner self-esteem, but before going out to take on the world. Why? Because having a nice base of
friends (and they don¶t have to be family) who support you, challenge you, and who believe in
you, and give you perspective beyond your own is like having your very own superhero team at
your back when you set out to take on the world.
:nd nurture, nurture, nurture that network. Be friendly, helpful, giving, and forever as interested
in their pursuits as you are your own.



 

I mean this in two ways. First, assume responsibility for everything that you C:N impact.
Meanings, if you have a team working with you and they fail to meet a goal, when the boss asks
what happened, assume responsibility. In the details, it¶s your job to fix what went wrong and try
to ensure it doesn¶t happen the next time, but to the boss, just own it. Excuses are lame. Just
accept what comes next, and try to make it better next time.

Sometimes, we try to own too much. I do this a lot. When we own too much, we feel like we fail
too often. Sometimes, we¶re not ready to take on as much as we thought. Other times, we¶re
overloaded, and practically no one could handle what¶s on our plate. Recognizing this and
adjusting is just as important, because burying yourself in the weeds doesn¶t help anyone, either.
Fix this as soon as possible, and do it as cleanly as you can. Try to hand off or delegate or give
back the responsibilities that are flooding you, and see if that helps.




c
c  

Small victories are a great way to build your self-confidence. Take on little tasks and succeed.
Even if their personal challenges, take them on. Every little success helps. For example, one goal
I set for myself recently was to lose 10 pounds within a month. I have plenty of weight to lose,
and I have a fitness program to rebuild into my life, but by setting this goal, I¶ve got something
small and tangible to observe. Once I hit this goal, I will feel much better about my efforts, and
this will spur me on to bigger goals.

The caution, however, is that sometimes; we stay mired in the small things in life. If you¶re on
the road to personal leadership, take a bigger swing. Look at the larger story. Look beyond your
current job. Look past your role. :sk yourself big questions about what you might be able to do
to help a larger chunk of the world. The answer to this question is often startling, and sometimes
quite rewarding. But if you don¶t ask, you never will know.

:t work, thinking a bit bigger than everyone around you, and then working backwards from
those ideas to be helpful, is a great way of contributing in a meaningful way.





Perhaps the most important thing I can tell you about personal leadership is that it¶s a much more
rewarding path when you focus on being helpful to others. Stay true to your own guiding
principles and the goals you¶ve set for yourself, but try to view these goals with a community in
mind. Can your path to success be complementary to others? Will your victories bring others up
to a better path with you? How will you give back to people along the way, and not just when
you¶re on top of the world?

!
"#$% 
&
You¶re successful. You¶ve done some great things. How have you developed yourself? Give us
some ideas to build upon, and to develop our personal leadership along the way. :nd if you¶re
extra brave, tell us about some of your shortcomings that you eventually overcame, and maybe
what you know about how you did it. I¶d love to hear from you.