Banta class mein – madam maine “abc” yaad karli..

Madam -ok , to sunao..

Banta – abcdefghijklemnopqrstuvwxyz…..
Madam - arey aise nahi ….aise suna A for apple
Banta – ok madam…. A for apple.

B for bada apple.

C for chhota apple.
D for dusra apple.
E for ek aur apple.
F for fokat ka apple.
G for gol apple.
H for hazar apple
I for itney saarey apple?
J for jaao nahi khaani hai apple
K for kaise nahi khaayengey apple
L for lena padhega tumko apple
M for mujhe nahi chahiye itne apple
N for naa nahi kehtey kyunkey yeh hai apple
O for Oh to tumne khaa daale yeh saare apple
P for peth bhar khaao apple
Q for qismat mein nahi hoti hai sabke, yeh apple
R for roz agar khaao tum apple
S for sehetmand rahoge khaaogey agar tum apple
T for tumko nahi milengey itney achey apple
U for udhaar kii nahi hai yeh apple
V for very tasty hai yeh apple
W for waste na karo time aur khaalo jaldi se apple
X for X’mas mei bhii Hi! khana padenge apple
Y for yun na chehra phero dekhkey apple
Z for zaraasa aur khaalo apple aur………..
Ek baar ek sardar sukhe khet mein boat chala raha hota hai.

Doosara sardar apni Biwi ko leke scooter pe jaa raha Tha.

Pehle Sardar ko boat chalate dekh, woh apni biwi se kehta hai.
Doosara Sardar: “dekho aise sardaro ne hi to sardar ka naam kharab kar rakha hai,
woh to mujhe swimming nahi aati, nahi to mein usey bahut maarta.”

While having a brain check up…

Doctor : I regret to tell you that you have a brain tumor.
Sardar : Yesss!!! (jumps in joy)

Doctor : Did you understand what I just told you?

Sardar : Yes of course, do you think I’m dumb?
Doctor : Then why are you so happy?
Sardar : Because that proves that I have a brain!

Sardarji photographer focusing a dead body’s face in a funeral function, suddenly

all relatives beat him.

Why?
He said: “Smile Please !”
Santa and Banta are riding through the desert on their horses. As they ride along,
Banta smells something horrible. He stops his horse and turns around.

He says, “Hey, you shit your pants?”

Santa says, “No.”
He believes him and they keep riding. As they go on, the smell gets worse. The smell
is so bad, flys begin to swarm. Banta stops his horse and turns around.

He then says, “Are you sure you did not shit your pants?”
Santa says, “Yes, I am sure.”
They keep going and now the smell is getting to be unbearable. Banta stops his
horse and gets off his horse.

He then says, “Get of your horse. Pull down your pants. I thought you said you did
not shit your pants?”
Santa replies, “I thought you meant today!”

One Sardar was enjoying sun on a beach in UK. A lady came and asked him, “Are
you relaxing?”
Sardar answered, “No I am Banta Singh.”

Another guy came and asked the same question. Sardar answered “No no me!
Banta Singh.” Sardar was totally annoyed and decided to shift his place. While
walking he saw another Sardar enjoying the beach.
He went and asked him, “Are you relaxing?” The other Sardar was much educated
and answered “Yes I am relaxing. The Sardar slapped him on his face and said,
“Idiot, sab tere ko wahahn dhoond rahe hai aur tu yahaan aaram kar raha ho.”
One sardar says: Koi acha sa kapda (cloth) dikhaiye.
Sales man: Plain main dikhaon?

Sardar: Abey hawai jahaz main nahi dukan par hi dikha!

Talking about those days when there were no mosquito repellents and we had to
spend sleepless nights.
Sardarji was also experiencing the same every time. He tries to sleep, one
mosquito comes and disturbs his sleep with a sound “guooonn, guooonn.” He gets
very irritated. He tries to cover his ear but the problem remains persistent.

Ultimately he gets up and catches the mosquito in his hand. He is very kind and
not for the blood shed but still wanted to take revenge. Happy as he is now
starts singing a lullaby and says “so ja machchar, bete so ja”.
After some time he finds the mosquito falling into deep sleep in his hands. So he
goes near it and says“Guoooonnnnn, guoooonnnnn”.

Buffalo par baithe ek Sardar ko Traffic Police ne roka aur puncha, “aapka helmet
kahan hai?” Fine lagega.

Sardar replied, “baawle dhyaan se dekh neche!”

“4 wheelar hai.”
A sardarji went to a STD/ISD PCO and slapped the operator Twice,
Guess Why?

Because there it was written “Number dial karne se pehle do lagale”

Sardar breaks an egg to make an omlet.

He finds the egg empty…

Getting fustrated he said, “iski maaki,aaj kal murgian bhi abortion karati hai!”

Shaadi mein ek pathan bahut der tak khana kha raha tha.

Kisi ne poocha kab tak khaoge?

Pathan: Mein toh khud kha-kha ke dukhi hoon, Per kya karon card mein likha
tha Dinner 7 PM to 10 PM.
A Sardarji goes to see Jurassic Park.
When the Dinosaurs start approaching he is cowering in his seat.

When his friend asks him “kyon Sardarji, kya baat hai? Dar kyon lag raha hai
cinema hi to hai”
Sardarji replies “Aadmi hoon aur akkal hai, pata hai ki cinema hai lekin voh to
janwar hai, usko kya pata “

Train mein TT Sadhu se bola : Kahan jana hai?

Sadhu : Jahan Ram ka janam hua tha.
TT : Ticket hai?

Sadhu : Nahin
TT : Chalo
Sadhu : Kahan?
TT : Jahan Krishan ka janam hua tha.. Jail mein

Santa dials a number and a girl named ‘SITA’receives phone.

Santa says, “maine to delhi phone lagaya tha, ye ayodhya kaise lag gaya.”
Customer: Mujhe phone per dhamkiya mill rahi hai.

Police: Kaun hai woh jo aapko dhamkiya de raha hai?

Customer: Telephone wale bolte hai ke, “Bill nahi bharoge toh kaat denge.”

Interviewer: What is your birth date?

Sardar : 13th October

Interviewer: Which year?
Sardar : Oye ullu ke patthe — EVERY YEAR

Captain of Military : Naujawanon aage bado

Santa aage nahin bada.

Captain : Tum aage kyun nahin bade?

Santa : Apne kaha 9 jawanon aage bado, mein 10 number pe tha.