Mr.

Moore
(Who Lived Next Door)
A Comedy By Samantha A. Lark
 In the house next door lived Mr. Moore.
Mr. Moore woke up feeling as cheery as ever.
Though when he went into his kitchen he discovered
something that you and I would likely find rather
much unpleasant: while he had been sleeping, some
thieves had stolen all of his food. And yet Mr.
Moore did not scream, or act at all unhappily. In
fact, he reacted in quite the opposite manner. He got
even more cheery, a thing of which I would have
thought rather impossible.
As Mr. Moore got into his car, his foot happened to
land on one of the least pleasant things in the world:
an old, rusty nail. And yet he was not at all saddened
by his misfortune, yet again.
Mr. Moore was almost as forgetful as he was
unfortunate, thus forgetting to look both ways before
he crossed the road. Mr. Moore was run over by a
reindeer.
After Mr. Moore recovered from a coma, three
broken ribs, brain surgery, a kidney replacement, a
broken leg, and a sprained shoulder, he went outside
to collect the newspaper. And yet again, his foot
landed in exactly the wrong place. This time,
however, it did not land on a rusty nail but on a nest
of spiders, which were very unhappy to find a giant
foot land on top of their living quarters.
Mr. Moore received a record two hundred fifty three
gallons of very nasty-smelling antidote for one
hundred thirty two very nasty spider bites. After
staying at the hospital where doctors poked and
prodded him, Mr. Moore decided that a swim would
be nice. But he discovered that, sadly, the pool was
closed for reconstruction. So Mr. Moore went for a
swim at another pool. Little did he know that this
pool was infested by twelve packs of HUNGRY
PIRAHNAS. As you would guess, he is getting
rather familiar with hospital routines.