It all began, of An orgasm is an Main Story course, with the anhedonic's nightmare. So Mahatma and those it is only fitting that the first Vishva Bandhu wacky nocturnal movie exploitation of a Gupta peels the "experiments". I huge Caligula Climax layer off the Onion Republic mean, lying nude should be in Woody with two naked nieces on either side and Allen's Sleeper: in a metal orgasm inglenook calling it "nation-building"! No wonder just a single generation design evolution from Fair Game we're a bit confused about rights and today's very uncarnal telephone booth. Allen wrongs and no wonder the sexuality of pops into one, his date into the next, the post-1947 Indian male is such a something shuddery happens between White Man's black money mess of guilt-about-pleasure. human and booth, they pop out, the outcome, or ingo, of a 21st century date "Love!" we demand, but he only stares over and done with. Laughing at the mirror; "Empathy!" we yell, but he Stock only shows us his baby photos; "Conversation!" we urge, but he only Top Ten causes for grunts about his latest paycheck; the Selling out of India "stimulation!" we bark but he's already watching ESPN; "friendship!" we ask, and he buys a blank Archie's card; and Smear "orgasm!" we plead but he thinks we're Scape referring to a musical instrument. RSS to dump Vajpayee, There we are cajoling, pummeling and Nagpur's new PM orally coaxing that offensive organ to by New Year disgorge its life-giving fluid. Holding our breath through the sweaty squelch and Calumny stink, endeavouring to make sexy Cloumn sounds all the while worrying about how Laloo and to get the stains off the sheets. And yet Mulayam's just as we unveil our daring lingerie and Marriage of Convenience advance seductively he only lapses into Illustration by Siddhartha Mitra his favourite mother-related fantasy or jaalmag.com/15121998/slangmatch.htm 1/3 10/01/2011 Slang Match - JaaL - desi satire eZine writhes in ecstasy about the masi from HATe-mail Ghaziabad. Anti-post-quasi-neo-Indian Penal Code questions: Does the man give the woman her Men not only owe women an orgasm, orgasm? Nah. Can he ever be sued for they should be legally bound to provide rape? Nah. Can he ever be a sorry stiff in it. And not seek refuge in a cock-out the dock for alimony and childcare? Nah. about 'demanding' feminists. Can partnerships be annulled on grounds of Spins & non-cohabitation? What partnerships. How Needles long does it take for that variety of advocate called a "rapechaser" to go extinct? How long ago was penal substituted by penile?
If there is one definitive information source
for the 20th century history of bonking, I think is in the Shere Hite Hall of Simulated Stimulation, or Stimulated Simulation, or #@*&%! whatever: The Hite Report on Female Sexuality (1976), The Hite Report on Men and Male Sexuality (1981), Women Illustration by Rustam Vania and Love (1990), and Shere Hite - Women as Revolutionary Agents of Change: Selected Essays in Psychology and Gender 1972-1993. Apart from inadvertently After all we women deserve it. Don't we coining the intransitive verb, "to orgasm" and slog hard by day, tending to the bringing the Devil's Legionnaires, "the criminally-inclined progeny, scouring the unreconstructed men", to their scabby knees, bed pan of the propertied great aunt Hite was instrumental in paving the way for who might mention us in her will, wilting the overspill of female revolutionary ardour in the onion queue, screaming in the salt that Germaine Greer hasn't ceased griping mob, assaulting DESU linesmen in a about: femiNazism. And, of course, rather frenzy of heat induced rage, not to unsettling scientific Rand Corporation-like mention being oppressed in our talk of human parthenogenesis. workplaces by testosterone-driven bosses who's idea of sexual excitement Good grief. As of tomorrow, we can shut seems to be to keep women down if not down all the world's sperm factories and still under them at all times -- after all this perpetuate the human race - minus men, who surely we deserve a lift-off into life- today do half the job. Badly, granted. altering, mind-improving hormonal Narcissistically. Post-coital Marlboro more frenzy? important than aftplay snogging. Before the Hite reports, masculine selfishness was But oh no. Paradoxically, Kama Sutra largely that of not caring about giving the or no Kama Sutra, in the land where the female principle (principal?) a requited flow of semen is not seasonal and where orgasm. After the Hite reports, every man DNA seems to be smeared on every worth his performance wanted to give his tree trunk, the Indian male simply female partner an orgasm - till it was widely performs his dreary in-and-out routine suggested that they wanted to because a jaalmag.com/15121998/slangmatch.htm 2/3 10/01/2011 Slang Match - JaaL - desi satire eZine rolls over and instantly falls into a coma, female orgasm had become a victory leaving half the population of the pennant, an indication of male virility. You Mahatma's nation, to close their eyes can't win. Men, you know that revolution will and think of the fun his nieces never had. extract its collateral damage. You've been extracting it for millennia, without a What were the founding fathers thinking? revolution to justify it. The female orgasm should be a male fundamental duty enshrined by the But parthenogenesis as punishment? Supreme Court and punishable by a Parthenogenesis is the tail end of strict sentence. And all those amma- femiNazistic gynaecological reductio ad fixated, hair-oiling, pimple-encrusted, absurdum. Parthenogenesis would have been butter-chicken wolfing, denizens must be invaluable to the Amazons, who underwent made aware by NGOs, and other public single mastectomy to simplify the pectoral agencies on the needs to keep on going. ergonomics of carrying a quiver of arrows. No more pelvic hiccups, but constant Bugger Cupid: grab the guy with the biggest, locomotion. Don't just roll over and doesn't matter if he doesn't look like Paul sleep, don't just use the hand-crafted Newman, aim your arrows well -- don't technique of self-gratification, don't impale his cod! You can un-gender, or re- plead spondilitis, don't get sudden gender, all the Biblical begets if you want to cramps once the sticky stuff is wiped off. repair history by rewriting it, but the damage, But stand again and be a woman! Forget my friends, is done. what they said about the myth that the bharatiya nari doesn't have a libido. I hate to advise this, but abstinence is often a healing repression. As for what If we can't have 33 per cent reservations Shakespeare's beast with two backs aspires in Parliament, if the girl child is still a to: if any of the world's major Judaeo- prisoner of those evil statistics, then how Christian religions were followed to the about some affirmative action in bed, at decimal, a global anti-climax would have least? depopulated Mother Earth millennia ago. If it's any consolation, a male orgasm is still Sagarika Ghose is a senior special imperative to the perpetuation of the human correspondent with Outlook. race: a female orgasm still isn't.
Kajal Basu is a futurologist and a
science fiction writer. Next Topic : Have Indian men driven their women to lesbianism? Send us your BuZZ
1998 - (Advances in Archaeological and Museum Science 3) M. Steven Shackley (Auth.), M. Steven Shackley (Eds.) - Archaeological Obsidian Studies - Method and Theory-Springer US (1998)