Adam Behnke Student Care in College Ministry Dr.

Barrett McRay 22 October 2010 Final Reflection Paper My life as a Resident Assistant thus far has not surprised me due to the blessing of not many expectations. At some point during last year, I heard Chelsea Vick talk about how she valued coming into her RA year as little or no expectations as possible because her impression was that any expectations would only get blown out of the water. In addition and perhaps most responsible for my mindset at the onset of this year, I worked in close proximity under Ben Gibson on Williston 3 last year, an experience that changed me and framed much of what I personally wish to become as a Christian man. He has such a calm, peaceful, and humble demeanor, something that created an amazing atmosphere here in Williston last year, a demeanor I wanted to cultivate myself. These two ideas made an impact on me, and I decided to prepare myself second semester and summer of last year rather than to create false or inaccurate constructs of what my future floor might look like. The topic of the future was easy to disregard in the months before August because life in the present was full and my own spiritual maturity needed plenty of work (as it still does). Spiritual formation was at the forefront of my mind -- as it still is -- which leads me to divulge my only major expectation for this year. I expected this year to be formative and full of growth due to the RAs inherent intensity and intentionality. That expectation is being met

through my mentor and mentoring those on my floor, as well as in the discipline I have started to learn in order to have enough time for many relationships and schoolwork. My response to the second and third question will be together as what I have been learning about myself and one lesson that I try to integrate into the life of the floor is connected. To begin with, I have learned discipline during these first 2 months due to the added pressures of time that is involved with IN nights and desiring enough time to spend with guys on the floor. In my freshman and sophomore years, I did not know I was capable of having a set schedule of when I would and would not do homework; I tended to flow with each day because I thought my inherent nature involved little structure. However, due to the complexities of the RA life, I have begun to love and cherish the disciplined life for its benefits of ample sleep and decreased pressure. This may be an obvious example of simple maturity and growing up, but my current situation on the floor is the causal-environment for my current growth. A second aspect I have become aware of is my affinity for the one-on-one setting as opposed to the group setting. As I have more and more Saga dates with gentlemen from Williston 3, I realize how much both I and the individual involved enjoy the interaction. Regarding relational development, this setting seems to be ideal for the way I communicate. I must continue to ask guys on the floor for these Saga dates, because they have been extremely life-giving for me and -- Lord-willing -- them too. The lesson of abiding as opposed to doing is the most important thing I have learned and is the main idea I have tried and am trying to integrate into the life of the floor. During RA training at HoneyRock and in the first few weeks of classes, this theme was stated explicitly many times. It had a huge impact on me, as I was feeling weak and not in control due to certain life situations. I was learning daily about humanitys weakness/Gods strength, my death/life in

Christ, and the everlasting sustaining nature of Christ regardless of what our view of man and God is. It was a blessing to begin the year at a point of weakness, because I am a very capable and competent male who has been raised on ideas of independence, themes which could have set the tone for my leadership of Williston three as being arrogant and superior to guys on the floor. But God knew best as He deeply humbled me while providing life-giving teaching on why the life of the Christian is about abiding in the Lord, not doing for the Lord. The main modes through which I have tried to integrate this into the life of the floor is through slightly through visual aides, but mainly through interaction. The floor theme is Lose Control, Gain Freedom, displayed in our central lobby with iconic letters. I think this phrase is difficult for many type-A Wheaton students -- especially capable males -- because it flies in the face of what it means to be composed and successful. I pray that the visual reminder will prompt deeper reflection on a biblical conception of dependence on the Lord. The mode of integration I most value is through relationships, through various interactions. I have spoken on this subject to many guys on the floor, explaining its importance to my life and implicitly challenging them to think on it through my own narrative. The way in which Ben Gibson gently guided us in Williston last year is the model I strive towards. He was a humble leader; a resource for those who need it, but not someone who forced himself on anyone. I have tried to place myself on the same level as guys on my floor by listening to them and seeking to know them, but also by being real with them about my struggles and passions. Rather than overtly challenging guys on the floor with the sentiment of realizing our weakness and abiding in Gods strength, I have been open about how this theme affects me. Just as we must abide in God rather than do for God, I want to live with guys on the floor rather than have

them recognize me as the Junior who is constantly trying to change or fix them. This is important to me on a floor of sophomores because many are already plugged into life-giving and healthy small groups and/or they have somebody who they go to in times of need. A way in which I could make this important lesson available to the floor is by providing more speakers on the subject and actually having floor prayer time on Wednesday nights, something I have meant to, but have not, instituted. There are so many dynamic professors here, and students seem to be eternally thirsty to hear them speak outside of the classroom, a thirst I can help quench simply by sending an email or having a conversation with any number of the willing professors. Regarding Wednesday-night prayer, the posture of community prayer teaches the individuals involved about abiding and opens us up to the Holy Spirit, both of which are actually the same. I simply need to put a sign up right now and put it in my planner.

***I want to say thank you for this class. It has been a blessing. The topics were helpful, the mandatory reflection was challenging, and I learned a lot. Thank you and God bless!

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