Jacob McGee Mr.

Borrero ENGL 1101 December 1, 2011 Explanation for Revised Piece I chose to do my revision on the very first defense paper that was assigned to us to do. I chose to do this paper because it was one that was not fresh on my mind and I felt like it would be a challenge to remember what I did with the project. It was also one of my best papers that I produced in the entire class. I thought that if I can perfect my best work then it would be simple to fix the work that I didnt do so swell on. So I took a large amount of time editing my paper for everything. I looked for missing commas, and misspelled words. I replaced some fragments with more complete sentences. I added more detail and more sophisticated words as I scrolled through the paper. I did not change anything in the actual context of the paper because I wanted to put my changes in the red comment boxes. All of my changes are off to the side and if you click on the comment then it will take you to where the change should be made. It is quite simple even though the work that made it simple wasnt. I hope that my style isnt confusing to you. The five things that I worked on during this revision was; comma placements, not using your or you, replacing elementary words and phrases with sophisticated ones, spelling, and the quality of my sentence structure. I found many weak points in this paper that I thought to be strong. So hopefully you will be able to see the changes that I made and see that it is good.