Scotswoman

More crazy sports from the English! By Sam Gordon

ast month we looked at some unusual contests from the UK. This is the second part of a mini-series on wacky pastimes.

AnSWERS On PAgE 45

Look at the words below. They are taken from descriptions of unusual contests and competitions. What do you think the contests and competitions are about?

Pre-reading

Competition I: lie flying sheep free drinks Competition II: kick points hay Competition III: pub puddings throw

Read the article once to check your ideas from the Pre-reading activity.
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Reading I

Write the name of a competition from this article next to each sentence. 1. Competitors may get a few bruises. 2. The objective is to knock some puddings off a plinth. 3. The competition is in memory of a pub landlord. 4. One of the stories involved mermaids. 5. Participants must throw underarm. 6. This competition has been in existence since the 17th century.

Reading II

First on our list of I won! and thats the strange sports is the truth! Worlds Greatest Liar Competition. This takes place in Wasdale, Cumbria, every November (or at least thats what they told us). The competition was started in memory of local landlord Will Ritson, who became famous for the fibs that he would tell his more gullible customers. The competition is held at the very same pub, and the winner is given the title Worlds Greatest Liar plus a lot of free drinks. Some of the topics for last years tall tales included tea-bag weaving, mermaid farming and flying sheep. Next on our list is the sport of shinkicking. This unusual competition has been practised at Chipping Camden since the 17th century, and it is a local highlight. Basically, shin-kicking is what it says it is: opponents hold one another by the shoulders and try to kick each other on the shins. If their opponent falls to the ground, they earn a point. The winner is the competitor with the highest score. These days, participants are permitted to stuff hay down their trousers to prevent serious injury. However, in the past, things were more blood-thirsty as competitors wore boots with iron toe-caps, and preparation for the competition often involved hardening their shins with hammers (ouch!). Nevertheless, anyone hoping to be crowned shin-kicking champion will undoubtedly have to put up with a few bruises. Third on our list is The World Black Pudding Throwing Championships. It takes place every year in the small town of Ramsbottom. It celebrates the ancient rivalry between the counties of Lancashire and Yorkshire, and contestants gather at the Royal Oak pub. The game is simple. Participants are given three black puddings. The objective is to throw the puddings (underarm only) at a stack of Yorkshire puddings which are on a plinth about 6 metres off the ground. The person who knocks over the most Yorkshire puddings is the winner. Well, what can you say? Only the English! More next month!

Language focus The Zero Conditional

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Look at this extract from the article, If their opponent falls to the ground, they earn a point. The writer has used a Zero Conditional tense: if + Present Simple tense / Present Simple tense. Complete the sentences with the correct form of the verbs in brackets. 1. If we leave at 8:30, we always (arrive) on time. 2. If they press the switch , it _________________ (turn) off the machine. 3. He gets angry if you (not put) his things back. 4. She always wears smart clothes if she (have) a meeting.
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1. Which competition from this article would you most like to attend? Why? 2. Which one sounds like the most fun? Why? 3. Do you know of any other ridiculous competitions? What do they involve?

Discussion

a landlord n a person who owns or manages a pub/bar, etc. a fib n a lie; something that isnt true gullible adj someone who is gullible believes things that are obviously not true a tall tale n a lie; a story that is not true to weave vb if you weave something, you produce it by crossing threads (thin pieces of cotton, etc.) over and under one another a mermaid n a creature that is half-fish, halfwoman a shin n the hard bone at the front of your leg between your knee and your foot a highlight n an important event in the year a shoulder n your shoulders are between your neck and the top of your arms to stuff vb to push something in a place quickly and not carefully hay n dried grass its often yellow blood-thirsty adj with a desire for blood/violence a toe-cap n a piece of metal placed in the inside and end of the shoe (where your toes are) to protect your feet to harden vb to make hard (not soft) a hammer n a tool used for hitting nails into the wall, etc. It consists of a wooden handle and a metal bar at the end to crown vb if you are crowned champion, you are officially declared champion to put up with exp if you put up with something bad, you accept it as part of the process a bruise n an area of purple/dark skin where you have been hit underarm adv throwing with a low swinging movement (not over your shoulder) a Yorkshire pudding n a type of food made with flour, eggs and milk. It is often served with meat a plinth n a column with a flat area at the top for exhibiting an object (a statue, etc.)

GLOSSARY

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MAD DOgS & EnglISHMEn

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REading ii

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