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  • Audition-Monologue: I WANT TO DO MY AUDITION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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    izzy596
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    The actor enters carrying an umbrella and hands over their resume. They claim to be able to play any role in the play and have experience in opera, commercials, and stunt work, describing themselves as very versatile. The actor notes they have never had a role, blaming the "sick business" and producers for blackballing them due to refusing to attend auditions, which they see as beneath them. The actor rants about being forced to attend this audition after waiting ten years for producers to come begging them. They continue with an over-the-top monologue showcasing different characters and threatening the audition panel for the part.

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    Audition

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    The actor enters carrying an umbrella and hands over their resume. They claim to be able to play any role in the play and have experience in opera, commercials, and stunt work, describing themselves as very versatile. The actor notes they have never had a role, blaming the "sick business" and producers for blackballing them due to refusing to attend auditions, which they see as beneath them. The actor rants about being forced to attend this audition after waiting ten years for producers to come begging them. They continue with an over-the-top monologue showcasing different characters and threatening the audition panel for the part.

    Copyright:

    Attribution Non-Commercial (BY-NC)
    Download as PDF, TXT or read online from Scribd
    Flag for inappropriate content
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    21 views1 page

    Audition-Monologue: I WANT TO DO MY AUDITION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Uploaded by

    izzy596
    The actor enters carrying an umbrella and hands over their resume. They claim to be able to play any role in the play and have experience in opera, commercials, and stunt work, describing themselves as very versatile. The actor notes they have never had a role, blaming the "sick business" and producers for blackballing them due to refusing to attend auditions, which they see as beneath them. The actor rants about being forced to attend this audition after waiting ten years for producers to come begging them. They continue with an over-the-top monologue showcasing different characters and threatening the audition panel for the part.

    Copyright:

    Attribution Non-Commercial (BY-NC)
    Download as PDF, TXT or read online from Scribd
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    Audition-Monologue

    (An actor carrying and umbrella, enters.) My resume (Hands over resume) Oh, first I should mention that I could play any of the parts in the play, any. Ive never heard of this play, as a matter of fact, it doesnt matter. I can do opera, (Opera Hands) I can do commercials, (Pretty Framed Face) I can be a stunt man (James Bond Roll on floor) Im that versatile. Leading man, leading lady, you name it, I can do it. I see you looking over my resume, noticing I have never had a part. Its a real comment on this sick business were in, isnt it? An actress this good and shes blackballed! Why? For refusing to show up to auditions! Auditions are beneath me. People should be begging me to grace their theatres - producers should be asking me to audition them! But those egomaniacs who should bow before me they have forced me to betray my principles and come to this audition. (Pause) Dont blame me for demeaning myself in this grotesque position... Ive waited ten years for them to come crawling... they didnt get the hint. ENOUGH of them! Lets get the situation at hand. Youre sitting there typecasting me as the lead man because of my matinee Idol glorious looks, and rich , sensuous, sexy, seductive, fetching, and charming voice... I could only play a female lead. No, I tell you No! OBSERVE...an ant... (Crawls along the floor) And now King Lear! (Opens umbrella and pretends to be blown around the stage) I neednt mention of course that that was the fabulous storm scene out on the heath. And now, Brutus, impaled by his own sword! (Closes the umbrella and stabs herself with it and pretends to die) And heres a homicidal lunatic! (Gets up and picks up his umbrella and waves it threateningly forward like a sword) Give me the part or Ill kill you! (Stands up straight and leans on umbrella and says rather calmly) Ive been waiting ten years for this. (Starts pacing) Ok all the parts I should play all the parts in the little production. Capiche? Ill do it all. Now, with that in mind, here my... (Abrupt Pause) WHAT DO YOU MEAN MY TIMES UP? I HAVENT DONE MY MONOLOGUE YET. WHAT DO YOU MEN NEXT? I MEMORIZED THIS THING! I TOO THE SUBWAY HERE! I ELBOWED MY WAY THROUGH MILLIONS OF PUSHY ACTORS AND STILL HAD TO WAIT FOR MY AUDITION! I WANT TO DO MY AUDITION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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