3roaktast at 1|ttany's (v1.

1)
1ruman Capoto, 10b8


l am a|ways drawn back to p|acos whoro l havo ||vod, tho
housos and tho|r no|ghborhoods. |or |nstanco, thoro |s a
brownstono |n tho East 3ovont|os whoro, dur|ng tho oar|y
yoars ot tho war, l had my t|rst low York apartmont. lt was
ono room crowdod w|th att|c turn|turo, a sota and tat cha|rs
upho|storod |n that |tchy, part|cu|ar rod vo|vot that ono
assoc|atos w|th hot days on a tram. 1ho wa||s woro stucco,
and a co|or rathor ||ko tobacco-sp|t. Evorywhoro, |n tho
bathroom too, thoro woro pr|nts ot loman ru|ns trock|od
brown w|th ago. 1ho s|ng|o w|ndow |ookod out on a t|ro
oscapo. Evon so, my sp|r|ts ho|ghtonod whonovor l to|t |n
my pockot tho koy to th|s apartmont, w|th a|| |ts g|oom, |t st|||
was a p|aco ot my own, tho t|rst, and my books woro thoro,
and jars ot ponc||s to sharpon, ovoryth|ng l noodod, so l to|t,
to bocomo tho wr|tor l wantod to bo.
lt novor occurrod to mo |n thoso days to wr|to about |o||y
Go||ght|y, and probab|y |t wou|d not now oxcopt tor a
convorsat|on l had w|th 1oo 3o|| that sot tho who|o momory
ot hor |n mot|on aga|n.
|o||y Go||ght|y had boon a tonant |n tho o|d brownstono,
sho'd occup|od tho apartmont bo|ow m|no. As tor 1oo 3o||,
ho ran a bar around tho cornor on lox|ngton Avonuo, ho st|||
doos. 3oth |o||y and l usod to go thoro s|x, sovon t|mos a
day, not tor a dr|nk, not a|ways, but to mako to|ophono ca||s:
dur|ng tho war a pr|vato to|ophono was hard to como by.
Voroovor, 1oo 3o|| was good about tak|ng mossagos,
wh|ch |n |o||y's caso was no sma|| tavor, tor sho had a
tromondous many.
Ot courso th|s was a |ong t|mo ago, and unt|| |ast wook l
hadn't soon 1oo 3o|| |n sovora| yoars. Ott and on wo'd kopt
|n touch, and occas|ona||y l'd stoppod by h|s bar whon
pass|ng through tho no|ghborhood, but actua||y wo'd novor
boon strong tr|onds oxcopt |n as much as wo woro both
tr|onds ot |o||y Go||ght|y. 1oo 3o|| hasn't an oasy naturo, ho
adm|ts |t h|mso|t, ho says |t's bocauso ho's a bacho|or and
has a sour stomach. Anyono who knows h|m w||| to|| you
ho's a hard man to ta|k to. lmposs|b|o |t you don't sharo h|s
t|xat|ons, ot wh|ch |o||y |s ono. 3omo othors aro: |co
hockoy, Wo|maranor dogs, Oor Oo| 5ooooy (a soap sor|a|
ho has ||stonod to tor t|ttoon yoars), and G||bort and 3u|||van
-- ho c|a|ms to bo ro|atod to ono or tho othor, l can't
romombor wh|ch.
And so whon, |ato |ast 1uosday attornoon, tho to|ophono
rang and l hoard 1oo 3o|| horo, l know |t must bo about
|o||y. |o d|dn't say so, just: Can you ratt|o r|ght ovor horo?
lt's |mportant, and thoro was a croak ot oxc|tomont |n h|s
troggy vo|co.
l took a tax| |n a downpour ot Octobor ra|n, and on my
way l ovon thought sho m|ght bo thoro, that l wou|d soo |o||y
aga|n.
3ut thoro was no ono on tho prom|sos oxcopt tho
propr|otor. 1oo 3o||'s |s a qu|ot p|aco comparod to most
lox|ngton Avonuo bars. lt boasts no|thor noon nor
to|ov|s|on. 1wo o|d m|rrors rot|oct tho woathor trom tho
stroots, and boh|nd tho bar, |n a n|cho surroundod by
photographs ot |co-hockoy stars, thoro |s a|ways a |argo
bow| ot trosh t|owors that 1oo 3o|| h|mso|t arrangos w|th
matron|y caro. 1hat |s what ho was do|ng whon l camo |n.
latura||y, ho sa|d, root|ng a g|ad|o|a doop |nto tho
bow|, natura||y l wou|dn't havo got you ovor horo |t |t wasn't l
wantod your op|n|on. lt's pocu||ar. A vory pocu||ar th|ng has
happonod.
You hoard trom |o||y?
|o t|ngorod a |oat, as though uncorta|n ot how to answor.
A sma|| man w|th a t|no hoad ot coarso wh|to ha|r, ho has a
bony, s|op|ng taco bottor su|tod to somoono tar ta||or, h|s
comp|ox|on sooms pormanont|y sunburnod: now |t grow
ovon roddor. l can't say oxact|y hoard trom hor. l moan, l
don't know. 1hat's why l want your op|n|on. lot mo bu||d you
a dr|nk. 3omoth|ng now. 1hoy ca|| |t a Wh|to Ango|, ho
sa|d, m|x|ng ono-ha|t vodka, ono-ha|t g|n, no vormouth.
Wh||o l drank tho rosu|t, 1oo 3o|| stood suck|ng on a 1ums
and turn|ng ovor |n h|s m|nd what ho had to to|| mo. 1hon:
You roca|| a corta|n Vr. l.Y. Yun|osh|? A gont|oman trom
1apan.
|rom Ca||torn|a, l sa|d, roca|||ng Vr. Yun|osh| portoct|y.
|o's a photographor on ono ot tho p|cturo magaz|nos, and
whon l know h|m ho ||vod |n tho stud|o apartmont on tho top
t|oor ot tho brownstono.
0on't go m|x|ng mo up. A|| l'm ask|ng, you know who l
moan? Okay. 3o |ast n|ght who comos wa|tz|ng |n horo but
th|s so|tsamo Vr. l. Y. Yun|osh|. l havon't soon h|m, l guoss
|t's ovor two yoars. And whoro do you th|nk ho's boon thoso
two yoars?
Atr|ca.
1oo 3o|| stoppod crunch|ng on h|s 1ums, h|s oyos
narrowod. 3o how d|d you know?
load |t |n W|ncho||. Wh|ch l had, as a mattor ot tact.
|o rang opon h|s cash rog|stor, and producod a man||a
onvo|opo. Wo||, soo d|d you road th|s |n W|ncho||.
ln tho onvo|opo woro throo photographs, moro or |oss tho
samo, though takon trom d|ttoront ang|os: a ta|| do||cato
logro man woar|ng a ca||co sk|rt and w|th a shy, yot va|n
sm||o, d|sp|ay|ng |n h|s hands an odd wood scu|pturo, an
o|ongatod carv|ng ot a hoad, a g|r|'s, hor ha|r s|ook and
short as a young man's, hor smooth wood oyos too |argo
and t||tod |n tho tapor|ng taco, hor mouth w|do, ovordrawn,
not un||ko c|own-||ps. On a g|anco |t rosomb|od most
pr|m|t|vo carv|ng, and thon |t d|dn't, tor horo was tho sp|t-
|mago ot |o||y Go||ght|y, at |oast as much ot a ||konoss as a
dark st||| th|ng cou|d bo.
low what do you mako ot that? sa|d 1oo 3o||, sat|st|od
w|th my puzz|omont.
lt |ooks ||ko hor.
l|ston, boy, and ho s|appod h|s hand on tho bar, |t |s
hor. 3uro as l'm a man t|t to woar br|tchos. 1ho ||tt|o 1ap
know |t was hor tho m|nuto ho saw hor.
|o saw hor? ln Atr|ca?
Wo||. 1ust tho statuo thoro. 3ut |t comos to tho samo
th|ng. load tho tacts tor yourso|t, ho sa|d, turn|ng ovor ono
ot tho photographs. On tho rovorso was wr|tton: Wood
Carv|ng, 3 1r|bo, 1ococu|, East Ang||a, Chr|stmas 0ay,
10b0.
|o sa|d, |oro's what tho 1ap says, and tho story was
th|s: On Chr|stmas day Vr. Yun|osh| had passod w|th h|s
camora through 1ococu|, a v|||ago |n tho tang|os ot nowhoro
and ot no |ntorost, moro|y a congrogat|on ot mud huts w|th
monkoys |n tho yards and buzzards on tho roots. |o'd
doc|dod to movo on whon ho saw suddon|y a logro
squatt|ng |n a doorway carv|ng monkoys on a wa|k|ng st|ck.
Vr. Yun|osh| was |mprossod and askod to soo moro ot h|s
work. Whoroupon ho was shown tho carv|ng ot tho g|r|'s
hoad: and to|t, so ho to|d 1oo 3o||, as |t ho woro ta|||ng |n a
droam. 3ut whon ho ottorod to buy |t tho logro cuppod h|s
pr|vato parts |n h|s hand (apparont|y a tondor gosturo,
comparab|o to tapp|ng ono's hoart) and sa|d no. A pound
ot sa|t and ton do||ars, a wr|stwatch and two pounds ot sa|t
and twonty do||ars, noth|ng swayod h|m. Vr. Yun|osh| was |n
a|| ovonts dotorm|nod to |oarn how tho carv|ng camo to bo
mado. lt cost h|m h|s sa|t and h|s watch, and tho |nc|dont
was convoyod |n Atr|can and p|g-Eng||sh and t|ngor-ta|k.
3ut |t wou|d soom that |n tho spr|ng ot that yoar a party ot
throo wh|to porsons had appoarod out ot tho brush r|d|ng
horsoback. A young woman and two mon. 1ho mon, both
rod-oyod w|th tovor, woro torcod tor sovora| wooks to stay
shut and sh|vor|ng |n an |so|atod hut, wh||o tho young
woman, hav|ng prosont|y takon a tancy to tho wood-carvor,
sharod tho woodcarvor's mat.
l don't crod|t that part, 1oo 3o|| sa|d squoam|sh|y. l
know sho had hor ways, but l don't th|nk sho'd bo up to
anyth|ng as much as that.
And thon?
1hon noth|ng, ho shruggod. 3y and by sho wont ||ko
sho como, rodo away on a horso.
A|ono, or w|th tho two mon?
1oo 3o|| b||nkod. W|th tho two mon, l guoss. low tho
1ap, ho askod about hor up and down tho country. 3ut
nobody o|so had ovor soon hor. 1hon |t was as |t ho cou|d
too| my own sonso ot |otdown transm|tt|ng |tso|t to h|m, and
ho wantod no part ot |t. Ono th|ng you got to adm|t, |t's tho
on|y oololto nows |n l don't know how many -- ho countod
on h|s t|ngors: thoro woron't onough -- yoars. A|| l hopo, l
hopo sho's r|ch. 3ho must bo r|ch. You got to bo r|ch to go
muck|ng around |n Atr|ca.
3ho's probab|y novor sot toot |n Atr|ca, l sa|d, bo||ov|ng
|t, yot l cou|d soo hor thoro, |t was somowhoro sho wou|d
havo gono. And tho carvod hoad: l |ookod at tho
photographs aga|n.
You know so much, whoro |s sho?
0oad. Or |n a crazy houso. Or marr|od. l th|nk sho's
marr|od and qu|otod down and maybo r|ght |n th|s vory
c|ty.
|o cons|dorod a momont. lo, ho sa|d, and shook h|s
hoad. l'|| to|| you why. lt sho was |n th|s c|ty l'd havo soon
hor. You tako a man that ||kos to wa|k, a man ||ko mo, a
man's boon wa|k|ng |n tho stroots go|ng on ton or two|vo
yoars, and a|| thoso yoars ho's got h|s oyo out tor ono
porson, and nobody's ovor hor, don't |t stand to roason
sho's not thoro? l soo p|ocos ot hor a|| tho t|mo, a t|at ||tt|o
bottom, any sk|nny g|r| that wa|ks tast and stra|ght -- |o
pausod, as though too awaro ot how |ntont|y l was |ook|ng
at h|m. You th|nk l'm round tho bond?
lt's just that l d|dn't know you'd boon |n |ovo w|th hor. lot
||ko that.
l was sorry l'd sa|d |t, |t d|sconcortod h|m. |o scoopod
up tho photographs and put thom back |n tho|r onvo|opo. l
|ookod at my watch. l hadn't any p|aco to go, but l thought |t
was bottor to |oavo.
|o|d on, ho sa|d, gr|pp|ng my wr|st. 3uro l |ovod hor.
3ut |t wasn't that l wantod to touch hor. And ho addod,
w|thout sm|||ng: lot that l don't th|nk about that s|do ot
th|ngs. Evon at my ago, and l'|| bo s|xty-sovon 1anuary ton.
lt's a pocu||ar tact -- but, tho o|dor l grow, that s|do ot th|ngs
sooms to bo on my m|nd moro and moro. l don't romombor
th|nk|ng about |t so much ovon whon l was a youngstor and
|t's ovory othor m|nuto. Vaybo tho o|dor you grow and tho
|oss oasy |t |s to put thought |nto act|on, maybo that's why |t
gots a|| |ockod up |n your hoad and bocomos a burdon.
Whonovor l road |n tho papor about an o|d man d|sgrac|ng
h|mso|t, l know |t's bocauso ot th|s burdon. 3ut -- ho
pourod h|mso|t a j|ggor ot wh|skoy and swa||owod |t noat --
l'|| novor d|sgraco myso|t. And l swoar, |t novor crossod my
m|nd about |o||y. You can |ovo somobody w|thout |t bo|ng
||ko that. You koop thom a strangor, a strangor who's a
tr|ond.
1wo mon camo |nto tho bar, and |t soomod tho momont
to |oavo. 1oo 3o|| to||owod mo to tho door. |o caught my
wr|st aga|n. 0o you bo||ovo |t?
1hat you d|dn't want to touch hor?
l moan about Atr|ca.
At that momont l cou|dn't soom to romombor tho story,
on|y tho |mago ot hor r|d|ng away on a horso. Anyway,
sho's gono.
Yoah, ho sa|d, opon|ng tho door. 1ust gono.
Outs|do, tho ra|n had stoppod, thoro was on|y a m|st ot |t
|n tho a|r, so l turnod tho cornor and wa|kod a|ong tho stroot
whoro tho brownstono stands. lt |s a stroot w|th troos that |n
tho summor mako coo| pattorns on tho pavomont, but now
tho |oavos woro yo||owod and most|y down, and tho ra|n
had mado thom s||ppory, thoy sk|ddod undortoot. 1ho
brownstono |s m|dway |n tho b|ock, noxt to a church whoro
a b|uo towor-c|ock to||s tho hours. lt has boon s|ookod up
s|nco my day, a smart b|ack door has rop|acod tho o|d
trostod g|ass, and gray o|ogant shuttors tramo tho w|ndows.
lo ono l romombor st||| ||vos thoro oxcopt Vadamo
3apph|a 3pano||a, a husky co|oratura who ovory attornoon
wont ro||or-skat|ng |n Contra| lark. l know sho's st||| thoro
bocauso l wont up tho stops and |ookod at tho ma||boxos. lt
was ono ot thoso ma||boxos that had t|rst mado mo awaro
ot |o||y Go||ght|y.

l'd boon ||v|ng |n tho houso about a wook whon l not|cod
that tho ma||box bo|ong|ng to Apt. 2 had a namo-s|ot t|ttod
w|th a cur|ous card. lr|ntod, rathor Cart|or-torma|, |t road:
Vlss lo|looy Oo|lgbt|y, and, undornoath, |n tho cornor,
7rovo|log. lt naggod mo ||ko a tuno: Vlss lo|looy
Oo|lgbt|y, 7rovo|log.
Ono n|ght, |t was |ong past two|vo, l woko up at tho sound
ot Vr. Yun|osh| ca|||ng down tho sta|rs. 3|nco ho ||vod on tho
top t|oor, h|s vo|co to|| through tho who|o houso,
oxasporatod and storn. V|ss Go||ght|y! l must protost!
1ho vo|co that camo back, wo|||ng up trom tho bottom ot
tho sta|rs, was s|||y-young and so|t-amusod. Oh, dar||ng, l
om sorry. l |ost tho goddamn koy.
You cannot go on r|ng|ng my bo||. You must p|oaso,
p|oaso havo yourso|t a koy mado.
3ut l |oso thom a||.
l work, l havo to s|oop, Vr. Yun|osh| shoutod. 3ut
a|ways you aro r|ng|ng my bo||.
Oh, ooo't bo angry, you ooor ||tt|o man: l woo't do |t
aga|n. And |t you prom|so not to bo angry -- hor vo|co was
com|ng noaror, sho was c||mb|ng tho sta|rs -- l m|ght |ot
you tako thoso p|cturos wo mont|onod.
3y now l'd |ott my bod and oponod tho door an |nch. l
cou|d hoar Vr. Yun|osh|'s s||onco: hoar, bocauso |t was
accompan|od by an aud|b|o chango ot broath.
Whon? ho sa|d.
1ho g|r| |aughod. 3omot|mo, sho answorod, s|urr|ng tho
word.
Any t|mo, ho sa|d, and c|osod h|s door.
l wont out |nto tho ha|| and |oanod ovor tho ban|stor, just
onough to soo w|thout bo|ng soon. 3ho was st||| on tho
sta|rs, now sho roachod tho |and|ng, and tho ragbag co|ors
ot hor boy's ha|r, tawny stroaks, strands ot a|b|no-b|ond and
yo||ow, caught tho ha|| ||ght. lt was a warm ovon|ng, noar|y
summor, and sho woro a s||m coo| b|ack dross, b|ack
sanda|s, a poar| chokor. |or a|| hor ch|c th|nnoss, sho had
an a|most broaktast-coroa| a|r ot hoa|th, a soap and |omon
c|oannoss, a rough p|nk darkon|ng |n tho chooks. |or
mouth was |argo, hor noso upturnod. A pa|r ot dark g|assos
b|ottod out hor oyos. lt was a taco boyond ch||dhood, yot
th|s s|do ot bo|ong|ng to a woman. l thought hor anywhoro
botwoon s|xtoon and th|rty, as |t turnod out, sho was shy two
months ot hor n|notoonth b|rthday.
3ho was not a|ono. 1horo was a man to||ow|ng boh|nd
hor. 1ho way h|s p|ump hand c|utchod at hor h|p soomod
somohow |mpropor, not mora||y, aosthot|ca||y. |o was short
and vast, sun-|ampod and pomadod, a man |n a buttrossod
p|n-str|po su|t w|th a rod carnat|on w|thor|ng |n tho |apo|.
Whon thoy roachod hor door sho rummagod hor purso |n
soarch ot a koy, and took no not|co ot tho tact that h|s th|ck
||ps woro nuzz||ng tho napo ot hor nock. At |ast, though,
t|nd|ng tho koy and opon|ng hor door, sho turnod to h|m
cord|a||y: 3|oss you, dar||ng -- you woro swoot to soo mo
homo.
|oy, baby! ho sa|d, tor tho door was c|os|ng |n h|s
taco.
Yos, |arry?
|arry was tho othor guy. l'm 3|d. 3|d Arbuck. You ||ko
mo.
l worsh|p you, Vr. Arbuck. 3ut good n|ght, Vr. Arbuck.
Vr. Arbuck starod w|th d|sbo||ot as tho door shut t|rm|y.
|oy, baby, |ot mo |n baby. You ||ko mo baby.
l'm a ||kod guy. 0|dn't l p|ck up tho chock, t|vo poop|o,
yoor tr|onds, l novor soon thom botoro? 0on't that g|vo mo
tho r|ght you shou|d ||ko mo? You ||ko mo, baby.
|o tappod on tho door gont|y, thon |oudor, t|na||y ho took
sovora| stops back, h|s body hunchod and |owor|ng, as
though ho moant to chargo |t, crash |t down. lnstoad, ho
p|ungod down tho sta|rs, s|amm|ng a t|st aga|nst tho wa||.
1ust as ho roachod tho bottom, tho door ot tho g|r|'s
apartmont oponod and sho pokod out hor hoad.
Oh, Vr. Arbock ...
|o turnod back, a sm||o ot ro||ot o|||ng h|s taco: sho'd
on|y boon toas|ng.
1ho noxt t|mo a g|r| wants a ||tt|o powdor-room chango,
sho ca||od, not toas|ng at a||, tako my adv|co, dar||ng: ooo't
g|vo hor twonty-conts!

3ho kopt hor prom|so to Vr. Yun|osh|, or l assumo sho
d|d not r|ng h|s bo|| aga|n, tor |n tho noxt days sho startod
r|ng|ng m|no, somot|mos at two |n tho morn|ng, throo and
tour: sho had no qua|ms at what hour sho got mo out ot bod
to push tho buzzor that ro|oasod tho downsta|rs door. As l
had tow tr|onds, and nono who wou|d como around so |ato,
l a|ways know that |t was hor. 3ut on tho t|rst occas|ons ot
|ts happon|ng, l wont to my door, ha|t-oxpoct|ng bad nows,
a to|ogram, and V|ss Go||ght|y wou|d ca|| up: 3orry, dar||ng
-- l torgot my koy.
Ot courso wo'd novor mot. 1hough actua||y, on tho sta|rs,
|n tho stroot, wo otton camo taco-to-taco, but sho soomod
not qu|to to soo mo. 3ho was novor w|thout dark g|assos,
sho was a|ways wo|| groomod, thoro was a consoquont|a|
good tasto |n tho p|a|nnoss ot hor c|othos, tho b|uos and
grays and |ack ot |ustor that mado hor, horso|t, sh|no so.
Ono m|ght havo thought hor a photographor's modo|,
porhaps a young actross, oxcopt that |t was obv|ous,
judg|ng trom hor hours, sho hadn't t|mo to bo o|thor.
low and thon l ran across hor outs|do our no|ghborhood.
Onco a v|s|t|ng ro|at|vo took mo to 21, and thoro, at a
supor|or tab|o, surroundod by tour mon, nono ot thom Vr.
Arbuck, yot a|| ot thom |ntorchangoab|o w|th h|m, was V|ss
Go||ght|y, |d|y, pub||c|y comb|ng hor ha|r, and hor
oxpross|on, an unroa||zod yawn, put, by oxamp|o, a
damponor, on tho oxc|tomont l to|t ovor d|n|ng at so swanky
a p|aco. Anothor n|ght, doop |n tho summor, tho hoat ot my
room sont mo out |nto tho stroots. l wa|kod down 1h|rd
Avonuo to ||tty-t|rst 3troot, whoro thoro was an ant|quo
storo w|th an objoct |n |ts w|ndow l adm|rod: a pa|aco ot a
b|rd cago, a mosquo ot m|narots and bamboo rooms
yoarn|ng to bo t|||od w|th ta|kat|vo parrots. 3ut tho pr|co was
throo hundrod and t|tty do||ars. On tho way homo l not|cod a
cab-dr|vor crowd gathorod |n tront ot l. 1. C|ark's sa|oon,
apparont|y attractod thoro by a happy group ot wh|skoy-
oyod Austra||an army ott|cors bar|ton|ng, Wa|tz|ng
Vat||da. As thoy sang thoy took turns sp|n-danc|ng a g|r|
ovor tho cobb|os undor tho E|, and tho g|r|, V|ss Go||ght|y,
to bo suro, t|oatod round |n tho|r, arms ||ght as a scart.
3ut |t V|ss Go||ght|y roma|nod unconsc|ous ot my
ox|stonco, oxcopt as a doorbo|| convon|onco, l bocamo,
through tho summor, rathor an author|ty on hors. l
d|scovorod, trom obsorv|ng tho trash-baskot outs|do hor
door, that hor rogu|ar road|ng cons|stod ot tab|o|ds and
travo| to|dors and astro|og|ca| charts, that sho smokod an
osotor|c c|garotto ca||od l|cayunos, surv|vod on cottago
chooso and mo|ba toast, that hor var|-co|orod ha|r was
somowhat so|t-|nducod. 1ho samo sourco mado |t ov|dont
that sho roco|vod v-|ottors by tho ba|o. 1hoy woro a|ways
torn |nto str|ps ||ko bookmarks. l usod occas|ona||y to p|uck
myso|t a bookmark |n pass|ng. Romombor and mlss yoo
and rolo and p|ooso wrlto and oomo and goooomo woro
tho words that rocurrod most otton on thoso s||ps, thoso,
and |ooosomo and |ovo.
A|so, sho had a cat and sho p|ayod tho gu|tar. On days
whon tho sun was strong, sho wou|d wash hor ha|r, and
togothor w|th tho cat, a rod t|gor-str|pod tom, s|t out on tho
t|ro oscapo thumb|ng a gu|tar wh||o hor ha|r dr|od.
Whonovor l hoard tho mus|c, l wou|d go stand qu|ot|y by my
w|ndow. 3ho p|ayod vory wo||, and somot|mos sang too.
3ang |n tho hoarso, broak|ng tonos ot a boy's ado|oscont
vo|co. 3ho know a|| tho show h|ts, Co|o lortor and Kurt
Wo|||, ospoc|a||y sho ||kod tho songs trom Ok|obomo!,
wh|ch woro now that summor and ovorywhoro. 3ut thoro
woro momonts whon sho p|ayod songs that mado you
wondor whoro sho |oarnod thom, whoro |ndood sho camo
trom. |arsh-tondor wandor|ng tunos w|th words that
smackod ot p|noywoods or pra|r|o. Ono wont: Loo't woooo
s|oop, Loo't woooo olo, 1ost woooo go o-trovo|lo' tbroogb
tbo postoros o tbo sky, and th|s ono soomod to grat|ty hor
tho most, tor otton sho cont|nuod |t |ong attor hor ha|r had
dr|od, attor tho sun had gono and thoro woro ||ghtod
w|ndows |n tho dusk.
3ut our acqua|ntanco d|d not mako hoadway unt||
3optombor, an ovon|ng w|th tho t|rst r|pp|o-ch|||s ot autumn
runn|ng through |t. l'd boon to a mov|o, como homo and
gono to bod w|th a bourbon n|ghtcap and tho nowost
3|monon: so much my |doa ot comtort that l cou|dn't
undorstand a sonso ot unoaso that mu|t|p||od unt|| l cou|d
hoar my hoart boat|ng. lt was a too||ng l'd road about,
wr|tton about, but novor botoro oxpor|oncod. 1ho too||ng ot
bo|ng watchod. Ot somoono |n tho room. 1hon: an abrupt
rapp|ng at tho w|ndow, a g||mpso ot ghost|y gray: l sp|||od
tho bourbon. lt was somo ||tt|o wh||o botoro l cou|d br|ng
myso|t to opon tho w|ndow, and ask V|ss Go||ght|y what
sho wantod.
l'vo got tho most torr|ty|ng man downsta|rs, sho sa|d,
stopp|ng ott tho t|ro oscapo |nto tho room. l moan ho's
swoot whon ho |sn't drunk, but |ot h|m start |app|ng up tho
v|no, and oh God quo| boast! lt thoro's ono th|ng l |oatho, |t's
mon who b|to. 3ho |oosonod a gray t|anno| robo ott hor
shou|dor, to show mo ov|donco ot what happons |t a man
b|tos. 1ho robo was a|| sho was woar|ng. l'm sorry |t l
tr|ghtonod you. 3ut whon tho boast got so t|rosomo l just
wont out tho w|ndow. l th|nk ho th|nks l'm |n tho bathroom,
not that l g|vo a damn what ho th|nks, tho ho|| w|th h|m, ho'||
got t|rod, ho'|| go to s|oop, my God ho shou|d, o|ght mart|n|s
botoro d|nnor and onough w|no to wash an o|ophant. l|ston,
you can throw mo out |t you want to. l'vo got a ga|| barg|ng |n
on you ||ko th|s. 3ut that t|ro oscapo was damnod |cy. And
you |ookod so cozy. l|ko my brothor |rod. Wo usod to
s|oop tour |n a bod, and ho was tho on|y ono that ovor |ot
mo hug h|m on a co|d n|ght. 3y tho way, do you m|nd |t l ca||
you |rod? 3ho'd como comp|oto|y |nto tho room now, and
sho pausod thoro, star|ng at mo. l'd novor soon hor botoro
not woar|ng dark g|assos, and |t was obv|ous now that thoy
woro proscr|pt|on |onsos, tor w|thout thom hor oyos had an
assoss|ng squ|nt, ||ko a jowo|or's. 1hoy woro |argo oyos, a
||tt|o b|uo, a ||tt|o groon, dottod w|th b|ts ot brown: var|-
co|orod, ||ko hor ha|r, and, ||ko hor ha|r, thoy gavo out a
||vo|y warm ||ght. l supposo you th|nk l'm vory brazon. Or
trs oo. Or somoth|ng.
lot at a||.
3ho soomod d|sappo|ntod. Yos, you do. Evorybody
doos. l don't m|nd. lt's usotu|.
3ho sat down on ono ot tho r|ckoty rod-vo|vot cha|rs,
curvod hor |ogs undornoath hor, and g|ancod round tho
room, hor oyos puckor|ng moro pronouncod|y. |ow can
you boar |t? lt's a chambor ot horrors.
Oh, you got usod to anyth|ng, l sa|d, annoyod w|th
myso|t, tor actua||y l was proud ot tho p|aco.
l don't. l'|| novor got usod to anyth|ng. Anybody that doos,
thoy m|ght as wo|| bo doad. |or d|spra|s|ng oyos survoyod
tho room aga|n. What do you oo horo a|| day?
l mot|onod toward a tab|o ta|| w|th books and papor.
Wr|to th|ngs.
l thought wr|tors woro qu|to o|d. Ot courso 3aroyan |sn't
o|d. l mot h|m at a party, and roa||y ho |sn't o|d at a||. ln tact,
sho musod, |t ho'd g|vo h|mso|t a c|osor shavo ... by tho
way, |s |om|ngway o|d?
ln h|s tort|os, l shou|d th|nk.
1hat's not bad. l can't got oxc|tod by a man unt|| ho's
torty-two. l know th|s |d|ot g|r| who koops to|||ng mo l ought
to go to a hoad-shr|nkor, sho says l havo a tathor comp|ox.
Wh|ch |s so much moroo. l s|mp|y trolooo myso|t to ||ko
o|dor mon, and |t was tho smartost th|ng l ovor d|d. |ow o|d
|s W. 3omorsot Vaugham?
l'm not suro. 3|xty-somoth|ng.
1hat's not bad. l'vo novor boon to bod w|th a wr|tor. lo,
wa|t: do you know 3onny 3hack|ott? 3ho trownod whon l
shook my hoad. 1hat's tunny. |o's wr|tton an awtu| |ot ot
rad|o stutt. 3ut quo| rat. 1o|| mo, aro you a roa| wr|tor?
lt doponds on what you moan by roa|.
Wo||, dar||ng, doos anyono boy what you wr|to?
lot yot.
l'm go|ng to ho|p you, sho sa|d. l can, too. 1h|nk ot a||
tho poop|o l know who know poop|o. l'm go|ng to ho|p you
bocauso you |ook ||ko my brothor |rod. On|y sma||or. l
havon't soon h|m s|nco l was tourtoon, that's whon l |ott
homo, and ho was a|roady s|x-toot-two. Vy othor brothors
woro moro your s|zo, runts. lt was tho poanut buttor that
mado |rod so ta||. Evorybody thought |t was dotty, tho way
ho gorgod h|mso|t on poanut buttor, ho d|dn't caro about
anyth|ng |n th|s wor|d oxcopt horsos and poanut buttor. 3ut
ho wasn't dotty, just swoot and vaguo and torr|b|y s|ow, ho'd
boon |n tho o|ghth grado throo yoars whon l ran away. loor
|rod. l wondor |t tho Army's gonorous w|th tho|r poanut
buttor. Wh|ch rom|nds mo, l'm starv|ng.
l po|ntod to a bow| ot app|os, at tho samo t|mo askod hor
how and why sho'd |ott homo so young. 3ho |ookod at mo
b|ank|y, and rubbod hor noso, as though |t t|ck|od: a
gosturo, soo|ng otton ropoatod, l camo to rocogn|zo as a
s|gna| that ono was trospass|ng. l|ko many poop|o w|th a
bo|d tondnoss tor vo|untoor|ng |nt|mato |ntormat|on,
anyth|ng that suggostod a d|roct quost|on, a p|nn|ng-down,
put hor on guard. 3ho took a b|to ot app|o, and sa|d: 1o||
mo somoth|ng you'vo wr|tton. 1ho story part.
1hat's ono ot tho troub|os. 1hoy'ro not tho k|nd ot stor|os
you coo to||.
1oo d|rty?
Vaybo l'|| |ot you road ono somot|mo.
Wh|skoy and app|os go togothor. ||x mo a dr|nk,
dar||ng. 1hon you can road mo a story yourso|t.
vory tow authors, ospoc|a||y tho unpub||shod, can ros|st
an |nv|tat|on to road a|oud. l mado us both a dr|nk and,
sott||ng |n a cha|r oppos|to, bogan to road to hor, my vo|co
a ||tt|o shaky w|th a comb|nat|on ot stago tr|ght and
onthus|asm: |t was a now story, l'd t|n|shod |t tho day
botoro, and that |nov|tab|o sonso ot shortcom|ng had not
had t|mo to dovo|op. lt was about two womon who sharo a
houso, schoo|toachors, ono ot whom, whon tho othor
bocomos ongagod, sproads w|th anonymous notos a
scanda| that provonts tho marr|ago. As l road, oach
g||mpso l sto|o ot |o||y mado my hoart contract. 3ho
t|dgotod. 3ho p|ckod apart tho butts |n an ashtray, sho
moonod ovor hor t|ngorna||s, as though |ong|ng tor a t||o,
worso, whon l d|d soom to havo hor |ntorost, thoro was
actua||y a to||ta|o trost ovor hor oyos, as |t sho woro
wondor|ng whothor to buy a pa|r ot shoos sho'd soon |n
somo w|ndow.
ls that tho ooo sho askod, wak|ng up. 3ho t|oundorod
tor somoth|ng moro to say. Ot courso l ||ko dykos
thomso|vos. 1hoy don't scaro mo a b|t. 3ut stor|os about
dykos boro tho bojosus out ot mo. l just can't put myso|t |n
tho|r shoos. Wo|| roa||y, dar||ng, sho sa|d, bocauso l was
c|oar|y puzz|od, |t |t's not about a coup|o ot o|d bu||-dykos,
what tho ho|| ls |t about?
3ut l was |n no mood to compound tho m|stako ot hav|ng
road tho story w|th tho turthor ombarrassmont ot oxp|a|n|ng
|t. 1ho samo van|ty that had |od to such oxposuro, now
torcod mo to mark hor down as an |nsons|t|vo, m|nd|oss
show-ott.
lnc|donta||y, sho sa|d, do you happon to know any n|co
|osb|ans? l'm |ook|ng tor a roommato. Wo||, don't |augh. l'm
so d|sorgan|zod, l s|mp|y can't attord a ma|d, and roa||y,
dykos aro wondortu| homo-makors, thoy |ovo to do a|| tho
work, you novor havo to bothor about brooms and
dotrost|ng and sond|ng out tho |aundry. l had a roommato |n
|o||ywood, sho p|ayod |n Wostorns, thoy ca||od hor tho
lono langor, but l'|| say th|s tor hor, sho was bottor than a
man around tho houso. Ot courso poop|o cou|dn't ho|p but
th|nk l must bo a b|t ot a dyko myso|t. And ot courso l am.
Evoryono |s: a b|t. 3o what? 1hat novor d|scouragod a man
yot, |n tact |t sooms to goad thom on. look at tho lono
langor, marr|od tw|co. Usua||y dykos on|y got marr|od
onco, just tor tho namo. lt sooms to carry such cachot |ator
on to bo ca||od Vrs. 3omoth|ng Anothor. 1hat's not truo!
3ho was star|ng at an a|arm c|ock on tho tab|o. lt can't bo
tour-th|rty!
1ho w|ndow was turn|ng b|uo. A sunr|so broozo band|od
tho curta|ns.
What |s today?
1hursday.
7borsooy. 3ho stood up. Vy God, sho sa|d, and sat
down aga|n w|th a moan. lt's too gruosomo.
l was t|rod onough not to bo cur|ous. l |ay down on tho
bod and c|osod my oyos. 3t||| |t was |rros|st|b|o: What's
gruosomo about 1hursday?
loth|ng. Excopt that l can novor romombor whon |t's
com|ng. You soo, on 1hursdays l havo to catch tho o|ght
torty-t|vo. 1hoy'ro so part|cu|ar about v|s|t|ng hours, so |t
you'ro thoro by ton that g|vos you an hour botoro tho poor
mon oat |unch. 1h|nk ot |t, |unch at o|ovon. You can go at
two, and l'd so much rathor, but ho ||kos mo to como |n tho
morn|ng, ho says |t sots h|m up tor tho rost ot tho day. l'vo
got to stay awako, sho sa|d, p|nch|ng hor chooks unt|| tho
rosos camo, thoro |sn't t|mo to s|oop, l'd |ook consumpt|vo,
l'd sag ||ko a tonomont, and that wou|dn't bo ta|r: a g|r| can't
go to 3|ng 3|ng w|th a groon taco.
l supposo not. 1ho angor l to|t at hor ovor my story was
obb|ng, sho absorbod mo aga|n.
A|| tho v|s|tors oo mako an ottort to |ook tho|r bost, and
|t's vory tondor, |t's swoot as ho||, tho way tho womon woar
tho|r prott|ost ovoryth|ng, l moan tho o|d onos and tho roa||y
poor onos too, thoy mako tho doarost ottort to |ook n|co
and smo|| n|co too, and l |ovo thom tor |t. l |ovo tho k|ds too,
ospoc|a||y tho co|orod onos. l moan tho k|ds tho w|vos
br|ng. lt shou|d bo sad, soo|ng tho k|ds thoro, but |t |sn't,
thoy havo r|bbons |n tho|r ha|r and |ots ot sh|no on tho|r
shoos, you'd th|nk thoro was go|ng to bo |co croam, and
somot|mos that's what |t's ||ko |n tho v|s|tors' room, a party.
Anyway |t's not ||ko tho mov|os: you know, gr|m wh|spor|ngs
through a gr|||o. 1horo |sn't any gr|||o, just a countor botwoon
you and thom, and tho k|ds can stand on |t to bo huggod, a||
you havo to do to k|ss somobody |s |oan across. What l ||ko
most, thoy'ro so happy to soo oach othor, thoy'vo savod up
so much to ta|k about, |t |sn't poss|b|o to bo du||, thoy koop
|augh|ng and ho|d|ng hands. lt's d|ttoront attorwards, sho
sa|d. l soo thom on tho tra|n. 1hoy s|t so qu|ot watch|ng tho
r|vor go by. 3ho strotchod a strand ot ha|r to tho cornor ot
hor mouth and n|bb|od |t thoughttu||y. l'm koop|ng you
awako. Go to s|oop.
l|oaso. l'm |ntorostod.
l know you aro. 1hat's why l want you to go to s|oop.
3ocauso |t l koop on, l'|| to|| you about 3a||y. l'm not suro that
wou|d bo qu|to cr|ckot. 3ho chowod hor ha|r s||ont|y. 1hoy
novor to|o mo not to to|| anyono. ln so many words. And |t ls
tunny. Vaybo you cou|d put |t |n a story w|th d|ttoront namos
and whatnot. l|ston, |rod, sho sa|d, roach|ng tor anothor
app|o, you'vo got to cross your hoart and k|ss your o|bow --

lorhaps contort|on|sts can k|ss tho|r o|bow, sho had to

accopt an approx|mat|on.
Wo||, sho sa|d, w|th a mouthtu| ot app|o, you may havo
road about h|m |n tho papors. ||s namo |s 3a||y 1omato,
and l spoak Y|dd|sh bottor than ho spoaks Eng||sh, but ho's
a dar||ng o|d man, torr|b|y p|ous. |o'd |ook ||ko a monk |t |t
woron't tor tho go|d tooth, ho says ho prays tor mo ovory
n|ght. Ot courso ho was novor my |ovor, as tar as that goos,
l novor know h|m unt|| ho was a|roady |n ja||. 3ut l adoro h|m
now, attor a|| l'vo boon go|ng to soo h|m ovory 1hursday tor
sovon months, and l th|nk l'd go ovon |t ho d|dn't pay mo.
1h|s ono's mushy, sho sa|d, and a|mod tho rost ot tho
app|o out tho w|ndow. 3y tho way, l olo know 3a||y by s|ght.
|o usod to como to 1oo 3o||'s bar, tho ono around tho
cornor: novor ta|kod to anybody, just stand thoro, ||ko tho
k|nd ot man who ||vos |n hoto| rooms. 3ut |t's tunny to
romombor back and roa||zo how c|oso|y ho must havo boon
watch|ng mo, bocauso r|ght attor thoy sont h|m up (1oo 3o||
showod mo h|s p|cturo |n tho papor. 3|ackhand. Vat|a. A||
that mumbo jumbo: but thoy gavo h|m t|vo yoars) a|ong
camo th|s to|ogram trom a |awyor. lt sa|d to contact h|m
|mmod|ato|y tor |ntormat|on to my advantago.
You thought somobody had |ott you a m||||on?
lot at a||. l t|gurod 3orgdort was try|ng to co||oct. 3ut l
took tho gamb|o and wont to soo th|s |awyor (|t ho |s a
|awyor, wh|ch l doubt, s|nco ho doosn't soom to havo an
ott|co, just an answor|ng sorv|co, and ho a|ways wants to
moot you |n |amburg |oavon: that's bocauso ho's tat, ho
can oat ton hamburgors and two bow|s ot ro||sh and a
who|o |omon mor|nguo p|o). |o askod mo how l'd ||ko to
choor up a |ono|y o|d man, at tho samo t|mo p|ck up a
hundrod a wook. l to|d h|m |ook, dar||ng, you'vo got tho
wrong V|ss Go||ght|y, l'm not a nurso that doos tr|cks on tho
s|do. l wasn't |mprossod by tho honorar|um o|thor, you can
do as wo|| as that on tr|ps to tho powdor room: any gont
w|th tho s||ghtost ch|c w||| g|vo you t|tty tor tho g|r|'s john, and
l a|ways ask tor cab taro too, that's anothor t|tty. 3ut thon ho
to|d mo h|s c||ont was 3a||y 1omato. |o sa|d doar o|d 3a||y
had |ong adm|rod mo |o olstooco, so wou|dn't |t bo a
good dood |t l wont to v|s|t h|m onco a wook. Wo||, l
cou|dn't: |t was too romant|c.
l don't know. lt doosn't sound r|ght.
3ho sm||od. You th|nk l'm |y|ng?
|or ono th|ng, thoy can't s|mp|y |ot ooyooo v|s|t a
pr|sonor.
Oh, thoy don't. ln tact thoy mako qu|to a bor|ng tuss. l'm
supposod to bo h|s n|oco.
And |t's as s|mp|o as that? |or an hour's convorsat|on
ho g|vos you a hundrod do||ars?
|o doosn't, tho |awyor doos. Vr. O'3haughnossy ma||s
|t to mo |n cash as soon as l |oavo tho woathor roport.
l th|nk you cou|d got |nto a |ot ot troub|o, l sa|d, and
sw|tchod ott a |amp, thoro was no nood ot |t now, morn|ng
was |n tho room and p|goons woro garg||ng on tho t|ro
oscapo.
|ow? sho sa|d sor|ous|y.
1horo must bo somoth|ng |n tho |aw books about ta|so
|dont|ty. Attor a||, you'ro oot h|s n|oco. And what about th|s
woathor roport?
3ho pattod a yawn. 3ut |t's noth|ng. 1ust mossagos l
|oavo w|th tho answor|ng sorv|co so Vr. O'3haughnossy w|||
know tor suro that l'vo boon up thoro. 3a||y to||s mo what to
say, th|ngs ||ko, oh, 'thoro's a hurr|cano |n Cuba' and '|t's
snow|ng |n la|ormo.' 0on't worry, dar||ng, sho sa|d,
mov|ng to tho bod, l'vo takon caro ot myso|t a |ong t|mo.
1ho morn|ng ||ght soomod rotractod through hor: as sho
pu||od tho bod covors up to my ch|n sho g|oamod ||ko a
transparont ch||d, thon sho |ay down bos|do mo. 0o you
m|nd? l on|y want to rost a momont. 3o |ot's don't say
anothor word. Go to s|oop.
l protondod to, l mado my broath|ng hoavy and rogu|ar.
3o||s |n tho towor ot tho noxt-door church rang tho ha|t-hour,
tho hour. lt was s|x whon sho put hor hand on my arm, a
trag||o touch carotu| not to wakon. loor |rod, sho
wh|sporod, and |t soomod sho was spoak|ng to mo, but
sho was not. Whoro aro you, |rod? 3ocauso |t's co|d.
1horo's snow |n tho w|nd. |or chook camo to rost aga|nst
my shou|dor, a warm damp wo|ght.
Why aro you cry|ng?
3ho sprang back, sat up. Oh, tor God's sako, sho sa|d,
start|ng tor tho w|ndow and tho t|ro oscapo, l boto snoops.

1ho noxt day, |r|day, l camo homo to t|nd outs|do my
door a grand-|uxo Char|os 8 Co. baskot w|th hor card: Vlss
lo|looy Oo|lgbt|y, 7rovo|log: and scr|bb|od on tho back |n
a troak|sh|y awkward, k|ndorgarton hand: B|oss yoo oor|log
lroo. P|ooso orglvo tbo otbor olgbt. Yoo woro oo oogo|
oboot tbo wbo|o tblog. Vl||o tooorosso -- lo||y. P.5. l woo't
botbor yoo ogolo. l rop||od, P|ooso oo, and |ott th|s noto at
hor door w|th what l cou|d attord, a bunch ot stroot-vondor
v|o|ots. 3ut apparont|y sho'd moant what sho sa|d, l no|thor
saw nor hoard trom hor, and l gathorod sho'd gono so tar
as to obta|n a downsta|rs koy. At any rato sho no |ongor
rang my bo||. l m|ssod that, and as tho days morgod l bogan
to too| toward hor corta|n tar-totchod rosontmonts, as |t l
woro bo|ng nog|octod by my c|osost tr|ond. A d|squ|ot|ng
|ono||noss camo |nto my ||to, but |t |nducod no hungor tor
tr|onds ot |ongor acqua|ntanco: thoy soomod now ||ko a
sa|t-troo, sugar|oss d|ot. 3y Wodnosday thoughts ot |o||y,
ot 3|ng 3|ng and 3a||y 1omato, ot wor|ds whoro mon torkod
ovor t|tty do||ars tor tho powdor room, woro so constant that
l cou|dn't work. 1hat n|ght l |ott a mossago |n hor ma||box:
7omorrow ls 7borsooy. 1ho noxt morn|ng rowardod mo
w|th a socond noto |n tho p|ay-pon scr|pt: B|oss yoo or
romloolog mo. Coo yoo stop or o orlok toolgbt 0-lsb
l wa|tod unt|| ton past s|x, thon mado myso|t do|ay t|vo
m|nutos moro.
A croaturo answorod tho door. |o smo||od ot c|gars and
Kn|zo co|ogno. ||s shoos sportod o|ovatod hoo|s, w|thout
thoso addod |nchos, ono m|ght havo takon h|m tor a l|tt|o
lorson. ||s ba|d trock|od hoad was dwart-b|g: attachod to
|t woro a pa|r ot po|ntod, tru|y o|t|n oars. |o had lok|ngoso
oyos, unp|ty|ng and s||ght|y bu|god. 1utts ot ha|r sproutod
trom h|s oars, trom h|s noso, h|s jow|s woro gray w|th
attornoon board, and h|s handshako a|most turry.
K|d's |n tho showor, ho sa|d, mot|on|ng a c|gar toward
a sound ot wator h|ss|ng |n anothor room. 1ho room |n
wh|ch wo stood (wo woro stand|ng bocauso thoro was
noth|ng to s|t on) soomod as though |t woro bo|ng just
movod |nto, you oxpoctod to smo|| wot pa|nt. 3u|tcasos and
unpackod cratos woro tho on|y turn|turo. 1ho cratos sorvod
as tab|os. Ono supportod tho m|x|ngs ot a mart|n|, anothor
a |amp, a l|bortyphono, |o||y's rod cat and a bow| ot yo||ow
rosos. 3ookcasos, covor|ng ono wa||, boastod a ha|t-sho|t
ot ||toraturo. l warmod to tho room at onco, l ||kod |ts t|y-by-
n|ght |ook.
1ho man c|oarod h|s throat. You oxpoctod?
|o tound my nod uncorta|n. ||s co|d oyos oporatod on
mo, mado noat, oxp|oratory |nc|s|ons. A |ot ot charactors
como horo, thoy'ro not oxpoctod. You know tho k|d |ong?
lot vory.
3o you don't know tho k|d |ong?
l ||vo upsta|rs.
1ho answor soomod to oxp|a|n onough to ro|ax h|m. You
got tho samo |ayout?
Vuch sma||or.
|o tappod ash on tho t|oor. 1h|s |s a dump. 1h|s |s
unbo||ovab|o. 3ut tho k|d don't know how to ||vo ovon whon
sho's got tho dough. ||s spooch had a jorky mota|||c
rhythm, ||ko a to|otypo. 3o, ho sa|d, what do you th|nk: |s
sho or a|n't sho?
A|n't sho what?
A phony.
l wou|dn't havo thought so.
You'ro wrong. 3ho |s a phony. 3ut on tho othor hand
you'ro r|ght. 3ho |sn't a phony bocauso sho's a roa| phony.
3ho bo||ovos a|| th|s crap sho bo||ovos. You can't ta|k hor
out ot |t. l'vo tr|od w|th toars runn|ng down my chooks.
3onny lo|an, rospoctod ovorywhoro, 3onny lo|an tr|od.
3onny had |t on h|s m|nd to marry hor, sho don't go tor |t,
3onny spont maybo thousands sond|ng hor to hoad-
shr|nkors. Evon tho tamous ono, tho ono can on|y spoak
Gorman, boy, d|d ho throw |n tho towo|. You can't ta|k hor
out ot thoso -- ho mado a t|st, as though to crush an
|ntang|b|o -- |doas. 1ry |t somot|mo. Got hor to to|| you
somo ot tho stutt sho bo||ovos. V|nd you, ho sa|d, l ||ko
tho k|d. Evorybody doos, but thoro's |ots that don't. l do. l
s|ncoro|y ||ko tho k|d. l'm sons|t|vo, that's why. You'vo got to
bo sons|t|vo to approc|ato hor: a stroak ot tho poot. 3ut l'||
to|| you tho truth. You can boat your bra|ns out tor hor, and
sho'|| hand you horsosh|t on a p|attor. 1o g|vo an oxamp|o --
who |s sho ||ko you soo hor today? 3ho's str|ct|y a g|r| you'||
road whoro sho onds up at tho bottom ot a bott|o ot
3ocona|s. l'vo soon |t happon moro t|mos than you'vo got
toos: and thoso k|ds, thoy woron't ovon nuts. 3ho's nuts.
3ut young. And w|th a groat doa| ot youth ahoad ot hor.
lt you moan tuturo, you'ro wrong aga|n. low a coup|o ot
yoars back, out on tho Coast, thoro was a t|mo |t cou|d'vo
boon d|ttoront. 3ho had somoth|ng work|ng tor hor, sho had
thom |ntorostod, sho cou|d'vo roa||y ro||od. 3ut whon you
wa|k out on a th|ng ||ko that, you don't wa|k back. Ask lu|so
la|nor. And la|nor was a star. 3uro, |o||y was no star, sho
novor got out ot tho st||| dopartmont. 3ut that was botoro
7bo 5tory o Lr. osso||. 1hon sho cou|d'vo roa||y ro||od. l
know, soo, causo l'm tho guy was g|v|ng hor tho push. |o
po|ntod h|s c|gar at h|mso|t. O.1. 3orman.
|o oxpoctod rocogn|t|on, and l d|dn't m|nd ob||g|ng h|m,
|t was a|| r|ght by mo, oxcopt l'd novor hoard ot O.1.
3orman. lt dovo|opod that ho was a |o||ywood actor's
agont.
l'm tho t|rst ono saw hor. Out at 3anta An|ta. 3ho's
hang|ng around tho track ovory day. l'm |ntorostod:
protoss|ona||y. l t|nd out sho's somo jock's rogu|ar, sho's
||v|ng w|th tho shr|mp. l got tho jock to|d 0rop lt |t ho don't
want convorsat|on w|th tho v|co boys: soo, tho k|d's t|ttoon.
3ut sty||sh: sho's okay, sho comos across. Evon whon sho's
woar|ng g|assos tbls th|ck, ovon whon sho opons hor mouth
and you don't know |t sho's a h|||b|||y or an Ok|o or what. l
st||| don't. Vy guoss, nobody'|| ovor know whoro sho camo
trom. 3ho's such a goddamn ||ar, maybo sho don't know
horso|t any moro. 3ut |t took us a yoar to smooth out that
accont. |ow wo d|d |t t|na||y, wo gavo hor |ronch |ossons:
attor sho cou|d |m|tato |ronch, |t wasn't so |ong sho cou|d
|m|tato Eng||sh. Wo modo|od hor a|ong tho Vargarot
3u||avan typo, but sho cou|d p|tch somo curvos ot hor own,
poop|o woro |ntorostod, b|g onos, and to top |t a||, 3onny
lo|an, a rospoctod guy, 3onny wants to marry hor. An
agont cou|d ask tor moro? 1hon wham! 7bo 5tory o Lr.
osso||. You soo that p|cturo? Coc|| 3. 0oV|||o. Gary
Coopor. 1osus. l k||| myso|t, |t's a|| sot: thoy'ro go|ng to tost
hor tor tho part ot 0r. Wasso||'s nurso. Ono ot h|s nursos,
anyway. 1hon wham! 1ho phono r|ngs. |o p|ckod a
to|ophono out ot tho a|r and ho|d |t to h|s oar. 3ho says,
th|s |s |o||y, l say honoy, you sound tar away, sho says l'm
|n low York, l say what tho ho|| aro you do|ng |n low York
whon |t's 3unday and you got tho tost tomorrow? 3ho says
l'm |n low York causo l'vo novor boon to low York. l say
got your ass on a p|ano and got back horo, sho says l don't
want |t. l say what's your ang|o, do||? 3ho says you got to
want |t to bo good and l don't want |t, l say wo||, what tho ho||
do you want, and sho says whon l t|nd out you'|| bo tho t|rst
to know. 3oo what l moan: horsosh|t on a p|attor.
1ho rod cat jumpod ott |ts crato and rubbod aga|nst h|s
|og. |o ||ttod tho cat on tho too ot h|s shoo and gavo h|m a
toss, wh|ch was hatotu| ot h|m oxcopt ho soomod not awaro
ot tho cat but moro|y h|s own |rr|tab|onoss.
7bls |s what sho wants? ho sa|d, t||ng|ng out h|s arms.
A |ot ot charactors thoy aron't oxpoctod? l|v|ng ott t|ps.
lunn|ng around w|th bums. 3o maybo sho cou|d marry
lusty 1raw|or? You shou|d p|n a moda| on hor tor that?
|o wa|tod, g|ar|ng.
3orry, l don't know h|m.
You don't know lusty 1raw|or, you can't know much
about tho k|d. 3ad doa|, ho sa|d, h|s tonguo c|uck|ng |n h|s
hugo hoad. l was hop|ng you maybo had |nt|uonco. Cou|d
|ovo| w|th tho k|d botoro |t's too |ato.
3ut accord|ng to you, |t a|roady |s.
|o b|ow a smoko r|ng, |ot |t tado botoro ho sm||od, tho
sm||o a|torod h|s taco, mado somoth|ng gont|o happon. l
cou|d got |t ro|||ng aga|n. l|ko l to|d you, ho sa|d, and now |t
soundod truo, l s|ncoro|y ||ko tho k|d.
What scanda|s aro you sproad|ng, O.1.? |o||y
sp|ashod |nto tho room, a towo| moro or |oss wrappod
round hor and hor wot toot dr|pp|ng tootmarks on tho t|oor.
1ust tho usua|. 1hat you'ro nuts.
|rod knows that a|roady.
3ut you don't.
l|ght mo a c|garotto, dar||ng, sho sa|d, snatch|ng ott a
bath|ng cap and shak|ng hor ha|r. l don't moan you, O.1.
You'ro such a s|ob. You a|ways n|ggor-||p.
3ho scoopod up tho cat and swung h|m onto hor
shou|dor. |o porchod thoro w|th tho ba|anco ot a b|rd, h|s
paws tang|od |n hor ha|r as |t |t woro kn|tt|ng yarn, and yot,
dosp|to thoso am|ab|o ant|cs, |t was a gr|m cat w|th a
p|rato's cutthroat taco, ono oyo was g|uoy-b||nd, tho othor
spark|od w|th dark doods.
O.1. |s a s|ob, sho to|d mo, tak|ng tho c|garotto l'd
||ghtod. 3ut ho doos know a torr|t|c |ot ot phono numbors.
What's 0av|d O. 3o|zn|ck's numbor, O.1.?
lay ott.
lt's not a joko, dar||ng. l want you to ca|| h|m up and to||
h|m what a gon|us |rod |s. |o's wr|tton barro|s ot tho most
marvo|ous stor|os. Wo||, don't b|ush, |rod: you d|dn't say
you woro a gon|us, l d|d. Como on, O.1. What aro you go|ng
to do to mako |rod r|ch?
3upposo you |ot mo sott|o that w|th |rod.
lomombor, sho sa|d, |oav|ng us, l'm h|s agont.
Anothor th|ng: |t l ho||or, como z|ppor mo up. And |t anybody
knocks, |ot thom |n.
A mu|t|tudo d|d. W|th|n tho noxt quartor-hour a stag party
had takon ovor tho apartmont, sovora| ot thom |n un|torm. l
countod two lava| ott|cors and an A|r |orco co|ono|, but
thoy woro outnumborod by gray|ng arr|va|s boyond dratt
status. Excopt tor a |ack ot youth, tho guosts had no
common thomo, thoy soomod strangors among strangors,
|ndood, oach taco, on ontor|ng, had strugg|od to concoa|
d|smay at soo|ng othors thoro. lt was as |t tho hostoss had
d|str|butod hor |nv|tat|ons wh||o z|gzagg|ng through var|ous
bars, wh|ch was probab|y tho caso. Attor tho |n|t|a| trowns,
howovor, thoy m|xod w|thout grumb||ng, ospoc|a||y O.1.
3orman, who av|d|y oxp|o|tod tho now company to avo|d
d|scuss|ng my |o||ywood tuturo. l was |ott abandonod by
tho booksho|vos, ot tho books thoro, moro than ha|t woro
about horsos, tho rost basoba||. lrotond|ng an |ntorost |n
lorso|osb ooo lowto 7o|| lt gavo mo sutt|c|ont|y pr|vato
opportun|ty tor s|z|ng |o||y's tr|onds.
lrosont|y ono ot thoso bocamo prom|nont. |o was a
m|dd|o-agod ch||d that had novor shod |ts baby tat, though
somo g|ttod ta||or had a|most succoodod |n camout|ag|ng
h|s p|ump and spankab|o bottom. 1horo wasn't a susp|c|on
ot bono |n h|s body, h|s taco, a zoro t|||od |n w|th protty
m|n|aturo toaturos, had an unusod, a v|rg|na| qua||ty: |t was
as |t ho'd boon born, thon oxpandod, h|s sk|n roma|n|ng
un||nod as a b|own-up ba||oon, and h|s mouth, though roady
tor squa||s and tantrums, a spo||od swoot puckor|ng. 3ut |t
was not appoaranco that s|ng|od h|m out, prosorvod |ntants
aron't a|| that raro. lt was, rathor, h|s conduct, tor ho was
bohav|ng as though tho party woro h|s: ||ko an onorgot|c
octopus, ho was shak|ng mart|n|s, mak|ng |ntroduct|ons,
man|pu|at|ng tho phonograph. ln ta|rnoss, most ot h|s
act|v|t|os woro d|ctatod by tho hostoss horso|t: Rosty,
woo|o yoo mloo, Rosty, woo|o yoo p|ooso. lt ho was |n |ovo
w|th hor, thon c|oar|y ho had h|s joa|ousy |n chock. A joa|ous
man m|ght havo |ost contro|, watch|ng hor as sho sk|mmod
around tho room, carry|ng hor cat |n ono hand but |oav|ng
tho othor troo to stra|ghton a t|o or romovo |apo| ||nt, tho A|r
|orco co|ono| woro a moda| that camo |n tor qu|to a po||sh.
1ho man's namo was luthorturd (lusty) 1raw|or. ln
1008 ho'd |ost both h|s paronts, h|s tathor tho v|ct|m ot an
anarch|st and h|s mothor ot shock, wh|ch doub|o m|stortuno
had mado lusty an orphan, a m||||ona|ro, and a co|obr|ty,
a|| at tho ago ot t|vo. |o'd boon a stand-by ot tho 3unday
supp|omonts ovor s|nco, a consoquonco that had gathorod
hurr|cano momontum whon, st||| a schoo|boy, ho had
causod h|s godtathor-custod|an to bo arrostod on chargos
ot sodomy. Attor that, marr|ago and d|vorco susta|nod h|s
p|aco |n tho tab|o|d-sun. ||s t|rst w|to had takon horso|t, and
hor a||mony, to a r|va| ot |athor 0|v|no's. 1ho socond w|to
sooms unaccountod tor, but tho th|rd had suod h|m |n low
York 3tato w|th a tu|| satcho| ot tho k|nd ot tost|mony that
onta||s. |o h|mso|t d|vorcod tho |ast Vrs. 1raw|or, h|s
pr|nc|pa| comp|a|nt stat|ng that sho'd startod a mut|ny
aboard h|s yacht, sa|d mut|ny rosu|t|ng |n h|s bo|ng
dopos|tod on tho 0ry 1ortugas. 1hough ho'd boon a
bacho|or s|nco, apparont|y botoro tho war ho'd proposod to
Un|ty V|ttord, at |oast ho was supposod to havo sont hor a
cab|o ottor|ng to marry hor |t ||t|or d|dn't. 1h|s was sa|d to
bo tho roason W|ncho|| a|ways rotorrod to h|m as a laz|,
that, and tho tact that ho attondod ra|||os |n Yorkv|||o.
l was not to|d thoso th|ngs. l road thom |n 7bo Bosobo||
Ooloo, anothor so|oct|on ott |o||y's sho|t wh|ch sho soomod
to uso tor a scrapbook. 1uckod botwoon tho pagos woro
3unday toaturos, togothor w|th sc|ssorod sn|pp|ngs trom
goss|p co|umns. Rosty 7row|or ooo lo||y Oo|lgbt|y two-oo-
tbo-ols|o ot Ooo 7oocb o Vooos proom. |o||y camo up
trom boh|nd, and caught mo road|ng: Vlss lo|looy
Oo|lgbt|y, o tbo Bostoo Oo|lgbt|ys, moklog ovory ooy o
bo|looy or tbo 24-korot Rosty 7row|or.
Adm|r|ng my pub||c|ty, or aro you just a basoba|| tan?
sho sa|d, adjust|ng hor dark g|assos as sho g|ancod ovor
my shou|dor.
l sa|d, What was th|s wook's woathor roport?
3ho w|nkod at mo, but |t was humor|oss: a w|nk ot
warn|ng, l'm a|| tor horsos, but l |oatho basoba||, sho sa|d,
and tho sub-mossago |n hor, vo|co was say|ng sho w|shod
mo to torgot sho'd ovor mont|onod 3a||y 1omato. l hato tho
sound ot |t on a rad|o, but l havo to ||ston, |t's part ot my
rosoarch. 1horo'ro so tow th|ngs mon can ta|k about. lt a
man doosn't ||ko basoba||, thon ho must ||ko horsos, and |t
ho doosn't ||ko o|thor ot thom, wo||, l'm |n troub|o anyway: ho
don't ||ko g|r|s. And how aro you mak|ng out w|th O.1.?
Wo'vo soparatod by mutua| agroomont
|o's an opportun|ty, bo||ovo mo.
l do bo||ovo you. 3ut what havo l to ottor that wou|d
str|ko h|m as an opportun|ty?
3ho pors|stod. Go ovor thoro and mako h|m th|nk ho
|sn't tunny-|ook|ng. |o roa||y can ho|p you, |rod.
l undorstand you woron't too approc|at|vo. 3ho soomod
puzz|od unt|| l sa|d: 7bo 5tory o Loctor osso||
|o's st||| harp|ng? sho sa|d, and cast across tho room
an attoct|onato |ook at 3orman. 3ut ho's got a po|nt, l
sboo|o too| gu||ty. lot bocauso thoy wou|d havo g|von mo
tho part or bocauso l wou|d havo boon good: thoy wou|dn't
and l wou|dn't. lt l do too| gu||ty, l guoss |t's bocauso l |ot h|m
go on droam|ng whon l wasn't droam|ng a b|t. l was just
vamp|ng tor t|mo to mako a tow so|t-|mprovomonts: l know
damn wo|| l'd novor bo a mov|o star. lt's too hard, and |t
you'ro |nto|||gont, |t's too ombarrass|ng. Vy comp|oxos
aron't |ntor|or onough: bo|ng a mov|o star and hav|ng a b|g
tat ogo aro supposod to go hand-|n-hand, actua||y, |t's
ossont|a| not to havo any ogo at a||. l don't moan l'd m|nd
bo|ng r|ch and tamous.
1hat's vory much on my schodu|o, and somoday l'|| try to
got around to |t, but |t |t happons, l'd ||ko to havo my ogo
tagg|ng a|ong. l want to st||| bo mo whon l wako up ono t|no
morn|ng and havo broaktast at 1|ttany's. You nood a g|ass,
sho sa|d, not|c|ng my ompty hands. lusty! W||| you br|ng
my tr|ond a dr|nk?
3ho was st||| hugg|ng tho cat. loor s|ob, sho sa|d,
t|ck||ng h|s hoad, poor s|ob w|thout a namo. lt's a ||tt|o
|nconvon|ont, h|s not hav|ng a namo. 3ut l havon't any r|ght
to g|vo h|m ono: ho'|| havo to wa|t unt|| ho bo|ongs to
somobody. Wo just sort ot took up by tho r|vor ono day, wo
don't bo|ong to oach othor: ho's an |ndopondont, and so am
l. l don't want to own anyth|ng unt|| l know l'vo tound tho
p|aco whoro mo and th|ngs bo|ong togothor. l'm not qu|to
suro whoro that |s just yot. 3ut l know what |t's ||ko. 3ho
sm||od, and |ot tho cat drop to tho t|oor. lt's ||ko 1|ttany's,
sho sa|d. lot that l g|vo a hoot about jowo|ry. 0|amonds,
sho sa|d. lot that l g|vo a hoot about jowo|ry. 0|amonds,
yos. 3ut |t's tacky to woar d|amonds botoro you'ro torty, and
ovon that's r|sky. 1hoy on|y |ook r|ght on tho roa||y o|d g|r|s.
Var|a Ousponskaya. Wr|nk|os and bonos, wh|to ha|r and
d|amonds: l can't wa|t. 3ut that's not why l'm mad about
1|ttany's. l|ston. You know thoso days whon you'vo got tho
moan rods?
3amo as tho b|uos?
lo, sho sa|d s|ow|y. lo, tho b|uos aro bocauso you'ro
gott|ng tat or maybo |t's boon ra|n|ng too |ong. You'ro sad,
that's a||. 3ut tho moan rods aro horr|b|o. You'ro atra|d and
you swoat ||ko ho||, but you don't know what you'ro atra|d ot.
Excopt somoth|ng bad |s go|ng to happon, on|y you don't
know what |t |s. You'vo had that too||ng?
Ou|to otton. 3omo poop|o ca|| |t oogst.
A|| r|ght. Aogst. 3ut what do you do about |t?
Wo||, a dr|nk ho|ps.
l'vo tr|od that. l'vo tr|od asp|r|n, too. lusty th|nks l shou|d
smoko mar|juana, and l d|d tor a wh||o, but |t on|y makos
mo g|gg|o. What l'vo tound doos tho most good |s just to
got |nto a tax| and go to 1|ttany's. lt ca|ms mo down r|ght
away, tho qu|otnoss and tho proud |ook ot |t, noth|ng vory
bad cou|d happon to you thoro, not w|th thoso k|nd mon |n
tho|r n|co su|ts, and that |ovo|y smo|| ot s||vor and a|||gator
wa||ots. lt l cou|d t|nd a roa|-||to p|aco that mado mo too| ||ko
1|ttany's, thon l'd buy somo turn|turo and g|vo tho cat a
namo. l'vo thought maybo attor tho war, |rod and l -- 3ho
pushod up hor dark g|assos, and hor oyos, tho d|ttor|ng
co|ors ot thom, tho grays and w|sps ot b|uo and groon, had
takon on a tar-soo|ng sharpnoss. l wont to Vox|co onco.
lt's wondortu| country tor ra|s|ng horsos. l saw ono p|aco
noar tho soa. |rod's good w|th horsos.
lusty 1raw|or camo carry|ng a mart|n|, ho handod |t ovor
w|thout |ook|ng at mo. l'm hungry, ho announcod, and h|s
vo|co, rotardod as tho rost ot h|m, producod an unnorv|ng
brat-wh|no that soomod to b|amo |o||y. lt's sovon-th|rty,
and l'm hungry. You know what tho doctor sa|d.
Yos, lusty. l know what tho doctor sa|d.
Wo||, thon broak |t up. lot's go.
l want you to bohavo, lusty. 3ho spoko sott|y, but thoro
was a govornoss throat ot pun|shmont |n hor tono that
causod an odd t|ush ot p|oasuro, ot grat|tudo, to p|nk h|s
taco.
You don't |ovo mo, ho comp|a|nod, as though thoy woro
a|ono.'
lobody |ovos naught|noss.
Obv|ous|y sho'd sa|d what ho wantod to hoar, |t
appoarod to both oxc|to and ro|ax h|m. 3t||| ho cont|nuod,
as though |t woro a r|tua|: 0o you |ovo mo?
3ho pattod h|m. 1ond to your choros, lusty. And whon
l'm roady, wo'|| go oat whorovor you want.
Ch|natown?
3ut that doosn't moan swoot and sour sparor|bs. You
know what tho doctor sa|d.
As ho roturnod to h|s dut|os w|th a sat|st|od wadd|o, l
cou|dn't ros|st rom|nd|ng hor that sho hadn't answorod h|s
quost|on. Lo you |ovo h|m?
l to|d you: you can mako yourso|t |ovo anybody.
3os|dos, ho had a st|nk|ng ch||dhood.
lt |t was so st|nk|ng, why doos ho c||ng to |t?
Uso your hoad. Can't you soo |t's just that lusty too|s
sator |n d|apors than ho wou|d |n a sk|rt? Wh|ch |s roa||y tho
cho|co, on|y ho's awtu||y touchy about |t. |o tr|od to stab mo
w|th a buttor kn|to bocauso l to|d h|m to grow up and taco
tho |ssuo, sott|o down and p|ay houso w|th a n|co tathor|y
truck dr|vor. Voant|mo, l'vo got h|m on my hands, wh|ch |s
okay, ho's harm|oss, ho th|nks g|r|s aro do||s, ||tora||y.
1hank God.
Wo||, |t |t woro truo ot most mon, l'd hard|y bo thank|ng
God.
l moant thank God you'ro not go|ng to marry Vr.
1raw|or.
3ho ||ttod an oyobrow. 3y tho way, l'm not protond|ng l
don't know ho's r|ch. Evon |and |n Vox|co costs somoth|ng.
low, sho sa|d, mot|on|ng mo torward, |ot's got ho|d ot
O.1.
l ho|d back wh||o my m|nd workod to w|n a
postponomont. 1hon l romomborod: Why 7rovo|log?
On my card? sho sa|d, d|sconcortod. You th|nk |t's
tunny?
lot tunny. 1ust provocat|vo.
3ho shruggod. Attor a||, how do l know whoro l'|| bo
||v|ng tomorrow? 3o l to|d thom to put 7rovo|log. Anyway, |t
was a wasto ot monoy, ordor|ng thoso cards. Excopt l to|t l
owod |t to thom to buy somo ||tt|o somoth|ng. 1hoy'ro trom
1|ttany's. 3ho roachod tor my mart|n|, l hadn't touchod |t,
sho dra|nod |t |n two swa||ows, and took my hand. Ou|t
sta|||ng. You'ro go|ng to mako tr|onds w|th O.1.
An occurronco at tho door |ntorvonod. lt was a young
woman, and sho ontorod ||ko a w|nd-rush, a squa|| ot
scarvos and jang||ng go|d. |-|-|o||y, sho sa|d, wagg|ng a
t|ngor as sho advancod, you m|sorab|o h-h-hoardor.
|ogg|ng a|| thoso s|mp|y r-r-r|vot|ng m-m-mon!
3ho was wo|| ovor s|x toot, ta||or than most mon thoro.
1hoy stra|ghtonod tho|r sp|nos, suckod |n tho|r stomachs,
thoro was a gonora| contost to match hor sway|ng ho|ght.
|o||y sa|d, What aro you do|ng horo? and hor ||ps woro
taut as drawn str|ng.
Why, n-n-noth|ng, sugar. l'vo boon upsta|rs work|ng w|th
Yun|osh|. Chr|stmas stutt tor tho Bo-bo-zoor. 3ut you sound
voxod, sugar? 3ho scattorod a roundabout sm||o. You b-
b-boys not voxod at mo tor butt|ng |n on your p-p-party?
lusty 1raw|or t|ttorod. |o squoozod hor arm, as though
to adm|ro hor musc|o, and askod hor |t sho cou|d uso a
dr|nk.
l suro|y cou|d, sho sa|d. Vako m|no bourbon.
|o||y to|d hor, 1horo lso't any. Whoroupon tho A|r |orco
co|ono| suggostod ho run out tor a bott|o.
Oh, l doc|aro, don't |ot's havo a t-t-tuss. l'm happy w|th
ammon|a. |o||y, honoy, sho sa|d, s||ght|y shov|ng hor,
don't you bothor about mo. l can |ntroduco myso|t. 3ho
stoopod toward O.1. 3orman, who, ||ko many short mon |n
tho prosonco ot ta|| womon, had an asp|r|ng m|st |n h|s oyo.
l'm Vag W-w-w||dwood, trom W||d-w-w-wood, Arkansas.
1hat's h||| country.
lt soomod a danco, 3orman portorm|ng somo tancy
tootwork to provont h|s r|va|s cutt|ng |n. |o |ost hor to a
quadr|||o ot partnors who gobb|od up hor stammorod jokos
||ko popcorn tossod to p|goons. lt was a comprohons|b|o
succoss. 3ho was a tr|umph ovor ug||noss, so otton moro
bogu|||ng than roa| boauty, |t on|y bocauso |t conta|ns
paradox. ln th|s caso, as opposod to tho scrupu|ous
mothod ot p|a|n good tasto and sc|ont|t|c groom|ng, tho
tr|ck had boon workod by oxaggorat|ng dotocts, sho'd
mado thom ornamonta| by adm|tt|ng thom bo|d|y. |oo|s that
omphas|zod hor ho|ght, so stoop hor ank|os tromb|od, a t|at
t|ght bod|co that |nd|catod sho cou|d go to a boach |n
bath|ng trunks, ha|r that was pu||od stra|ght back,
accontuat|ng tho sparonoss, tho starvat|on ot hor tash|on-
modo| taco. Evon tho stuttor, corta|n|y gonu|no but st||| a b|t
|a|d on, had boon turnod to advantago. lt was tho mastor
stroko, that stuttor, tor |t contr|vod to mako hor bana||t|os
sound somohow or|g|na|, and socond|y, dosp|to hor
sound somohow or|g|na|, and socond|y, dosp|to hor
ta||noss, hor assuranco, |t sorvod to |nsp|ro |n ma|o
||stonors a protoct|vo too||ng. 1o |||ustrato: 3orman had to
bo poundod on tho back bocauso sho sa|d, Who can to||
mo w-w-whoro |s tho j-j-john?, thon, comp|ot|ng tho cyc|o,
ho ottorod an arm to gu|do hor h|mso|t.
1hat, sa|d |o||y, won't bo nocossary. 3ho's boon horo
botoro. 3ho knows whoro |t |s. 3ho was ompty|ng
ashtrays, and attor Vag W||dwood had |ott tho room, sho
ompt|od anothor, thon sa|d, s|ghod rathor: lt's roa||y vory
sad. 3ho pausod |ong onough to ca|cu|ato tho numbor ot
|nqu|r|ng oxpross|ons, |t was sutt|c|ont. And so mystor|ous.
You'd th|nk |t wou|d show moro. 3ut hoavon knows, sho
|ooks hoa|thy. 3o, wo||, c|ooo. 1hat's tho oxtraord|nary part.
Wou|dn't you, sho askod w|th concorn, but ot no ono |n
part|cu|ar, wou|dn't you say sho |ookoo c|oan?
3omoono coughod, sovora| swa||owod. A lava| ott|cor,
who had boon ho|d|ng Vag W||dwood's dr|nk, put |t down.
3ut thon, sa|d |o||y, l hoar so many ot thoso 3outhorn
g|r|s havo tho samo troub|o. 3ho shuddorod do||cato|y, and
wont to tho k|tchon tor moro |co.
Vag W||dwood cou|dn't undorstand |t, tho abrupt
absonco ot warmth on hor roturn, tho convorsat|ons sho
bogan bohavod ||ko groon |ogs, thoy tumod but wou|d not
t|ro. Voro untorg|vab|y, poop|o woro |oav|ng w|thout tak|ng
hor to|ophono numbor. 1ho A|r |orco co|ono| docampod
wh||o hor back was turnod, and th|s was tho straw too
much: ho'd askod hor to d|nnor. 3uddon|y sho was b||nd.
And s|nco g|n to art|t|co boars tho samo ro|at|on as toars to
mascara, hor attract|ons at onco d|ssomb|od. 3ho took |t
out on ovoryono. 3ho ca||od hor hostoss a |o||ywood
dogonorato. 3ho |nv|tod a man |n h|s t|tt|os to t|ght. 3ho to|d
3orman, ||t|or was r|ght. 3ho oxh||aratod lusty 1raw|or by
st|tt-arm|ng h|m |nto a cornor. You know what's go|ng to
happon to you? sho sa|d, w|th no h|nt ot a stuttor. l'm
go|ng to march you ovor to tho zoo and tood you to tho
yak. |o |ookod a|togothor w||||ng, but sho d|sappo|ntod
h|m by s||d|ng to tho t|oor, whoro sho sat humm|ng.
You'ro a boro. Got up trom thoro, |o||y sa|d, strotch|ng
on a pa|r ot g|ovos. 1ho romnants ot tho party woro wa|t|ng
at tho door, and whon tho boro d|dn't budgo |o||y cast mo
an apo|ogot|c g|anco. 3o an ango|, wou|d you, |rod? lut
hor |n a tax|. 3ho ||vos at tho W|ns|ow.
0on't. l|vo 3arb|zon. logont 4-b700. Ask tor Vag
W||dwood.
You oro an ango|, |rod.
1hoy woro gono. 1ho prospoct ot stoor|ng an Amazon
|nto a tax| ob||toratod whatovor rosontmont l to|t. 3ut sho
so|vod tho prob|om horso|t. l|s|ng on hor own stoam, sho
starod down at mo w|th a |urch|ng |ott|noss. 3ho sa|d, lot's
go 3tork. Catch |ucky ba||oon, and to|| tu||-|ongth ||ko an
axod oak. Vy t|rst thought was to run tor a doctor. 3ut
oxam|nat|on provod hor pu|so t|no and hor broath|ng
rogu|ar. 3ho was s|mp|y as|oop. Attor t|nd|ng a p|||ow tor
hor hoad, l |ott hor to onjoy |t.

1ho to||ow|ng attornoon l co|||dod w|th |o||y on tho sta|rs.
Yoo sho sa|d, hurry|ng past w|th a packago trom tho
drugg|st. 1horo sho |s, on tho vorgo ot pnoumon|a. A hang-
ovor out to horo. And tho moan rods on top ot |t. l gathorod
trom th|s that Vag W||dwood was st||| |n tho apartmont, but
sho gavo mo no chanco to oxp|oro hor surpr|s|ng sympathy.
Ovor tho wookond, mystory dooponod. ||rst, thoro was tho
lat|n who camo to my door: m|stakon|y, tor ho was
|nqu|r|ng attor V|ss W||dwood. lt took a wh||o to corroct h|s
orror, our acconts soomod mutua||y |ncohoront, but by tho
t|mo wo had l was charmod. |o'd boon put togothor w|th
caro, h|s brown hoad and bu||t|ghtor's t|guro had an
oxactnoss, a portoct|on, ||ko an app|o, an orango,
somoth|ng naturo has mado just r|ght. Addod to th|s, as
docorat|on, woro an Eng||sh su|t and a br|sk co|ogno and,
what |s st||| moro un|at|n, a bashtu| mannor. 1ho socond
ovont ot tho day |nvo|vod h|m aga|n. lt was toward ovon|ng,
and l saw h|m on my way out to d|nnor. |o was arr|v|ng |n a
tax|, tho dr|vor ho|pod h|m tottor |nto tho houso w|th a |oad
ot su|tcasos. 1hat gavo mo somoth|ng to chow on: by
ot su|tcasos. 1hat gavo mo somoth|ng to chow on: by
3unday my jaws woro qu|to t|rod.
1hon tho p|cturo bocamo both darkor and c|oaror.
3unday was an lnd|an summor day, tho sun was strong,
my w|ndow was opon, and l hoard vo|cos on tho t|ro
oscapo. |o||y and Vag woro spraw|od thoro on a b|ankot,
tho cat botwoon thom. 1ho|r ha|r, now|y washod, hung
|ank|y. 1hoy woro busy, |o||y varn|sh|ng hor toona||s, Vag
kn|tt|ng on a swoator. Vag was spoak|ng.
lt you ask mo, l th|nk you'ro |-|-|ucky. At |oast thoro's ono
th|ng you can say tor lusty. |o's an Amor|can.
3u||y tor h|m.
5ogor. 1horo's a war on.
And whon |t's ovor, you'vo soon tho |ast ot mo, boy.
l don't too| that way. l'm p-p-proud ot my country. 1ho
mon |n my tam||y woro groat so|d|ors. 1horo's a statuo ot
lapadaddy W||dwood smack |n tho contor ot W||dwood.
|rod's a so|d|or, sa|d |o||y. 3ut l doubt |t ho'|| ovor bo
a statuo. Cou|d bo. 1hoy say tho moro stup|d you aro tho
bravor. |o's protty stup|d.
|rod's that boy upsta|rs? l d|dn't roa||zo ho was a
so|d|or. 3ut ho ooos |ook stup|d.
Yoarn|ng. lot stup|d. |o wants awtu||y to bo on tho
|ns|do star|ng out: anybody w|th tho|r noso prossod aga|nst
a g|ass |s ||ab|o to |ook stup|d. Anyhow, ho's a d|ttoront
|rod. |rod's my brothor.
You ca|| your own t-t-t|osh and b-b-b|ood stup|d?
lt ho |s ho |s.
Wo||, |t's poor tasto to say so. A boy that's t|ght|ng tor
you and mo and a|| ot us.
What |s th|s: a bond ra||y?
l just want you to know whoro l stand. l approc|ato a
joko, but undornoath l'm a s-s-sor|ous porson. lroud to bo
an Amor|can. 1hat's why l'm sorry about 1oso. 3ho put
down hor kn|tt|ng nood|os. You oo th|nk ho's torr|b|y good-
|ook|ng, don't you? |o||y sa|d |mn, and sw|pod tho cat's
wh|skors w|th hor |acquor brush. lt on|y l cou|d got usod to
tho |doa ot m-m-marry|ng a 3raz|||an. And bolog a 3-b-
braz|||an myso|t. lt's such a canyon to cross. 3|x thousand
m||os, and not know|ng tho |anguago --
Go to 3or||tz.
Why on oarth wou|d thoy bo toach|ng l-p-portu-guoso?
lt |sn't as though anyono spoko |t. lo, my on|y chanco |s to
try and mako 1oso torgot po||t|cs and bocomo an
Amor|can. lt's such a uso|oss th|ng tor a man to want to bo:
tho p-p-pros|dont ot Brozl|. 3ho s|ghod and p|ckod up hor
kn|tt|ng. l must bo mad|y |n |ovo. You saw us togothor. 0o
you th|nk l'm mad|y |n |ovo?
Wo||. 0oos ho b|to?
Vag droppod a st|tch. 3|to?
You. ln bod.
Why, no. 5boo|o ho? 1hon sho addod, consor|ous|y:
3ut ho doos |augh.
Good. 1hat's tho r|ght sp|r|t. l ||ko a man who soos tho
humor, most ot thom, thoy'ro a|| pant and putt.
Vag w|thdrow hor comp|a|nt, sho accoptod tho commont
as t|attory rot|oct|ng on horso|t. Yos. l supposo.
Okay. |o doosn't b|to. |o |aughs. What o|so?
Vag countod up hor droppod st|tch and bogan aga|n,
kn|t, pur|, pur|.
l sa|d --
l hoard you. And |t |sn't that l don't want to to|| you. 3ut
|t's so d|tt|cu|t to romombor. l don't d-d-dwo|| on thoso
th|ngs. 1ho way you soom to. 1hoy go out ot my hoad ||ko a
droam. l'm suro that's tho n-n-norma| att|tudo.
lt may bo norma|, dar||ng, but l'd rathor bo natura|. |o||y
pausod |n tho procoss ot roddon|ng tho rost ot tho cat's
wh|skors. l|ston. lt you can't romombor, try |oav|ng tho
||ghts on.
l|oaso undorstand mo, |o||y. l'm a vory-vory-vory
coovootlooo| porson.
Oh, ba||s. What's wrong w|th a docont |ook at a guy you
||ko? Von aro boaut|tu|, a |ot ot thom aro, 1oso |s, and |t you
don't ovon want to |ook at h|m, wo||, l'd say ho's gott|ng a
protty co|d p|ato ot macaron|.
l-|-|owor your vo|co.
You can't poss|b|y bo |n |ovo w|th h|m. low. 0oos that
answor your quost|on?
lo. 3ocauso l'm not a co|d p|ato ot m-m-macaron|. l'm a
warm-hoartod porson. lt's tho bas|s ot my charactor.
Okay. You'vo got a warm hoart. 3ut |t l woro a man on
my way to bod, l'd rathor tako a|ong a hot-wator bott|o. lt's
moro tang|b|o.
You won't hoar any squawks out ot 1oso, sho sa|d
comp|acont|y, hor nood|os t|ash|ng |n tho sun||ght. What's
moro, l om |n |ovo w|th h|m. 0o you roa||zo l'vo kn|ttod ton
pa|rs ot Argy|os |n |oss than throo months? And th|s |s tho
socond swoator. 3ho strotchod tho swoator and tossod |t
as|do. What's tho po|nt, though? 3woators |n 3raz||. l ought
to bo mak|ng s-s-sun ho|mots.
|o||y |ay back and yawnod. lt must bo w|ntor somot|mo.
lt rolos, that l know. |oat. la|n. 1-j-jung|os.
|oat. 1ung|os. Actua||y, l'd ||ko that.
3ottor you than mo.
Yos, sa|d |o||y, w|th a s|oop|noss that was not s|oopy.
3ottor mo than you.

On Vonday, whon l wont down tor tho morn|ng ma||, tho
card on |o||y's box had boon a|torod, a namo addod: V|ss
Go||ght|y and V|ss W||dwood woro now travo||ng togothor.
1h|s m|ght havo ho|d my |ntorost |ongor oxcopt tor a |ottor |n
my own ma||box. lt was trom a sma|| un|vors|ty rov|ow to
whom l'd sont a story. 1hoy ||kod |t, and, though l must
undorstand thoy cou|d not attord to pay, thoy |ntondod to
pub||sh. lub||sh: that moant prlot. 0|zzy w|th oxc|tomont |s
no moro phraso. l had to to|| somoono: and, tak|ng tho
sta|rs two at a t|mo, l poundod on |o||y's door.
l d|dn't trust my vo|co to to|| tho nows, as soon as sho
camo to tho door, hor oyos squ|nty w|th s|oop, l thrust tho
|ottor at hor. lt soomod as though sho'd had t|mo to road
s|xty pagos botoro sho handod |t back. l wou|dn't |ot thom
do |t, not |t thoy don't pay you, sho sa|d, yawn|ng. lorhaps
my taco oxp|a|nod sho'd m|sconstruod, that l'd not wantod
adv|co but congratu|at|ons: hor mouth sh|ttod trom a yawn
|nto a sm||o. Oh, l soo. lt's wondortu|. Wo||, como |n, sho
sa|d. Wo|| mako a pot ot cottoo and co|obrato. lo. l'|| got
drossod and tako you to |unch.
|or bodroom was cons|stont w|th hor par|or: |t
porpotuatod tho samo camp|ng-out atmosphoro, cratos
and su|tcasos, ovoryth|ng packod and roady to go, ||ko tho
bo|ong|ngs ot a cr|m|na| who too|s tho |aw not tar boh|nd. ln
tho par|or thoro was no convont|ona| turn|turo, but tho
bodroom had tho bod |tso|t, a doub|o ono at that, and qu|to
t|ashy: b|ond wood, tuttod sat|n.
3ho |ott tho door ot tho bathroom opon, and convorsod
trom thoro, botwoon tho t|ush|ng and tho brush|ng, most ot
what sho sa|d was un|nto|||g|b|o, but tho g|st ot |t was: sho
sopposoo l know Vag W||dwood had movod |n and wasn't
t hat coovooloot? bocauso |t you'ro go|ng to bovo a
roommato, and sho lso't a dyko, thon tho noxt bost th|ng |s
a poroct too|, wh|ch Vag wos, bocauso thon you can dump
tho |oaso on thom ooo sond thom out tor tho |aundry.
Ono cou|d soo that |o||y had a |aundry prob|om, tho
room was strown, ||ko a g|r|'s gymnas|um.
-- and you know, sho's qu|to a succosstu| modo|: |sn't
that ootostlc! 3ut a good th|ng, sho sa|d, hobb||ng out ot
tho bathroom as sho adjustod a gartor. lt ought to koop hor
out ot my ha|r most ot tho day. And thoro shou|dn't bo too
much troub|o on tho man tront. 3ho's ongagod. l|co guy,
too. 1hough thoro's a t|ny d|ttoronco |n ho|ght: l'd say a toot,
hor tavor. Whoro tho ho|| -- 3ho was on hor knoos pok|ng
undor tho bod. Attor sho'd tound what sho was |ook|ng tor,
a pa|r ot ||zard shoos, sho had to soarch tor a b|ouso, a
bo|t, and |t was a subjoct to pondor, how, trom such
wrockago, sho ovo|vod tho ovontua| ottoct: pamporod,
ca|m|y |mmacu|ato, as though sho'd boon attondod by
C|oopatra's ma|ds. 3ho sa|d, l|ston, and cuppod hor
hand undor my ch|n, l'm g|ad about tho story. loa||y l am.

1hat Vonday |n Octobor, 1048. A boaut|tu| day w|th tho
buoyancy ot a b|rd. 1o start, wo had Vanhattans at 1oo
3o||'s, and, whon ho hoard ot my good |uck, champagno
cockta||s on tho houso. lator, wo wandorod toward ||tth
Avonuo, whoro thoro was a parado. 1ho t|ags |n tho w|nd,
tho thump ot m|||tary bands and m|||tary toot, soomod to
havo noth|ng to do w|th war, but to bo, rathor, a tantaro
arrangod |n my porsona| honor.
Wo ato |unch at tho catotor|a |n tho park. Attorwards,
avo|d|ng tho zoo (|o||y sa|d sho cou|dn't boar to soo
anyth|ng |n a cago), wo g|gg|od, ran, sang a|ong tho paths
toward tho o|d woodon boathouso, now gono. loavos
t|oatod on tho |ako, on tho shoro, a park-man was tann|ng a
bont|ro ot thom, and tho smoko, r|s|ng ||ko lnd|an s|gna|s,
was tho on|y smudgo on tho qu|vor|ng a|r. Apr||s havo novor
moant much to mo, autumns soom that soason ot
bog|nn|ng, spr|ng, wh|ch |s how l to|t s|tt|ng w|th |o||y on tho
ra|||ngs ot tho boathouso porch. l thought ot tho tuturo, and
spoko ot tho past. 3ocauso |o||y wantod to know about my
ch||dhood. 3ho ta|kod ot hor own, too, but |t was o|us|vo,
namo|oss, p|aco|oss, an |mpross|on|st|c roc|ta|, though tho
|mpross|on roco|vod was contrary to what ono oxpoctod,
tor sho gavo an a|most vo|uptuous account ot sw|mm|ng
and summor, Chr|stmas troos, protty cous|ns and part|os:
|n short, happy |n a way that sho was not, and novor,
corta|n|y, tho background ot a ch||d who had run away.
Or, l askod, wasn't |t truo that sho'd boon out on hor own
Or, l askod, wasn't |t truo that sho'd boon out on hor own
s|nco sho was tourtoon? 3ho rubbod hor noso. 1hat's truo.
1ho othor |sn't. 3ut roa||y, dar||ng, you mado such a tragody
out ot yoor ch||dhood l d|dn't too| l shou|d compoto.
3ho hoppod ott tho ra|||ng. Anyway, |t rom|nds mo: l
ought to sond |rod somo poanut buttor. 1ho rost ot tho
attornoon wo woro oast and wost worm|ng out ot ro|uctant
grocors cans ot poanut buttor, a wart|mo scarc|ty, dark
camo botoro wo'd roundod up a ha|t-dozon jars, tho |ast at
a do||catosson on 1h|rd Avonuo. lt was noar tho ant|quo
shop w|th tho pa|aco ot a b|rd cago |n |ts w|ndow, so l took
hor thoro to soo |t, and sho onjoyod tho po|nt, |ts tantasy:
3ut st|||, |t's a cago.
lass|ng a Woo|worth's, sho gr|ppod my arm: lot's stoa|
somoth|ng, sho sa|d, pu|||ng mo |nto tho storo, whoro at
onco thoro soomod a prossuro ot oyos, as though wo woro
a|roady undor susp|c|on. Como on. 0on't bo ch|ckon. 3ho
scoutod a countor p||od w|th papor pumpk|ns and
|a||owoon masks. 1ho sa|os|ady was occup|od w|th a
group ot nuns who woro try|ng on masks. |o||y p|ckod up a
mask and s||ppod |t ovor hor taco, sho choso anothor and
put |t on m|no, thon sho took my hand and wo wa|kod away.
lt was as s|mp|o as that. Outs|do, wo ran a tow b|ocks, l
th|nk to mako |t moro dramat|c, but a|so bocauso, as l'd
d|scovorod, succosstu| thott oxh||aratos. l wondorod |t sho'd
otton sto|on. l usod to, sho sa|d. l moan l had to. lt l
wantod anyth|ng. 3ut l st||| do |t ovory now and thon, sort ot
to koop my hand |n. Wo woro tho masks a|| tho way homo.

l havo a momory ot spond|ng many h|thor and yonn|ng
days w|th |o||y, and |t's truo, wo d|d at odd momonts soo a
groat doa| ot oach othor, but on tho who|o, tho momory |s
ta|so. 3ocauso toward tho ond ot tho month l tound a job:
what |s thoro to add? 1ho |oss tho bottor, oxcopt to say |t
was nocossary and |astod trom n|no to t|vo. Wh|ch mado
our hours, |o||y's and m|no, oxtromo|y d|ttoront. Un|oss |t
was 1hursday, hor 3|ng 3|ng day, or un|oss sho'd gono
horsoback r|d|ng |n tho park, as sho d|d occas|ona||y, |o||y
was hard|y up whon l camo homo. 3omot|mos, stopp|ng
thoro, l sharod hor wako-up cottoo wh||o sho drossod tor
tho ovon|ng. 3ho was torovor on hor way out, not a|ways
w|th lusty 1raw|or, but usua||y, and usua||y, too, thoy woro
jo|nod by Vag W||dwood and tho handsomo 3raz|||an,
whoso namo was 1oso Ybarra-1aogar: h|s mothor was
Gorman. As a quartot, thoy struck an unmus|ca| noto,
pr|mar||y tho tau|t ot Ybarra-1aogar, who soomod as out ot
p|aco |n tho|r company as a v|o||n |n a jazz band. |o was
|nto|||gont, ho was prosontab|o, ho appoarod to havo a
sor|ous ||nk w|th h|s work, wh|ch was obscuro|y
govornmonta|, vaguo|y |mportant, and took h|m to
Wash|ngton sovora| days a wook. |ow, thon, cou|d ho
surv|vo n|ght attor n|ght |n la luo, E| Vorocco, ||ston|ng to
tho W||dwood ch-ch-chattor and star|ng |nto lusty's raw
baby-buttocks taco? lorhaps, ||ko most ot us |n a toro|gn
baby-buttocks taco? lorhaps, ||ko most ot us |n a toro|gn
country, ho was |ncapab|o ot p|ac|ng poop|o, so|oct|ng a
tramo tor tho|r p|cturo, as ho wou|d at homo, thorotoro a||
Amor|cans had to bo judgod |n a protty oqua| ||ght, and on
th|s bas|s h|s compan|ons appoarod to bo to|orab|o
oxamp|os ot |oca| co|or and nat|ona| charactor. 1hat wou|d
oxp|a|n much, |o||y's dotorm|nat|on oxp|a|ns tho rost.
lato ono attornoon, wh||o wa|t|ng tor a ||tth Avonuo bus,
l not|cod a tax| stop across tho stroot to |ot out a g|r| who
ran up tho stops ot tho |orty-socond 3troot pub||c ||brary.
3ho was through tho doors botoro l rocogn|zod hor, wh|ch
was pardonab|o, tor |o||y and ||brar|os woro not an oasy
assoc|at|on to mako. l |ot cur|os|ty gu|do mo botwoon tho
||ons, dobat|ng on tho way whothor l shou|d adm|t to||ow|ng
hor or protond co|nc|donco. ln tho ond l d|d no|thor, but
concoa|od myso|t somo tab|os away trom hor |n tho gonora|
road|ng room, whoro sho sat boh|nd hor dark g|assos and
a tortross ot ||toraturo sho'd gathorod at tho dosk. 3ho spod
trom ono book to tho noxt, |ntorm|ttont|y ||ngor|ng on a
pago, a|ways w|th a trown, as |t |t woro pr|ntod ups|do
down. 3ho had a ponc|| po|sod abovo papor -- noth|ng
soomod to catch hor tancy, st||| now and thon, as though tor
tho ho|| ot |t, sho mado |abor|ous scr|bb||ngs. Watch|ng hor,
l romomborod a g|r| l'd known |n schoo|, a gr|nd, V||drod
Grossman. V||drod: w|th hor mo|st ha|r and groasy
spoctac|os, hor sta|nod t|ngors that d|ssoctod trogs and
carr|od cottoo to p|ckot ||nos, hor t|at oyos that on|y turnod
toward tho stars to ost|mato tho|r chom|ca| tonnago. Earth
and a|r cou|d not bo moro oppos|to than V||drod and |o||y,
yot |n my hoad thoy acqu|rod a 3|amoso tw|nsh|p, and tho
throad ot thought that had sown thom togothor ran ||ko th|s:
tho avorago porsona||ty roshapos troquont|y, ovory tow
yoars ovon our bod|os undorgo a comp|oto ovorhau| --
dos|rab|o or not, |t |s a natura| th|ng that wo shou|d chango.
A|| r|ght, horo woro two poop|o who novor wou|d. 1hat |s
what V||drod Grossman had |n common w|th |o||y
Go||ght|y. 1hoy wou|d novor chango bocauso thoy'd boon
g|von tho|r charactor too soon, wh|ch, ||ko suddon r|chos,
|oads to a |ack ot proport|on: tho ono had sp|urgod horso|t
|nto a top-hoavy roa||st, tho othor a |ops|dod romant|c. l
|mag|nod thom |n a rostaurant ot tho tuturo, V||drod st|||
study|ng tho monu tor |ts nutr|t|ona| va|uos, |o||y st|||
g|uttonous tor ovoryth|ng on |t. lt wou|d novor bo d|ttoront.
1hoy wou|d wa|k through ||to and out ot |t w|th tho samo
dotorm|nod stop that took sma|| not|co ot thoso c||tts at tho
|ott. 3uch protound obsorvat|ons mado mo torgot whoro l
was, l camo to, start|od to t|nd myso|t |n tho g|oom ot tho
||brary, and surpr|sod a|| ovor aga|n to soo |o||y thoro. lt
was attor sovon, sho was troshon|ng hor ||pst|ck and
pork|ng up hor appoaranco trom what sho doomod corroct
tor a ||brary to what, by add|ng a b|t ot scart, somo oarr|ngs,
sho cons|dorod su|tab|o tor tho Co|ony. Whon sho'd |ott, l
wandorod ovor to tho tab|o whoro hor books roma|nod, thoy
woro what l had wantod to soo. 5ootb by 7boooorblro.
Bywoys o Brozl|. 7bo Po|ltlco| Vloo o Lotlo Amorlco. And
so torth.
On Chr|stmas Evo sho and Vag gavo a party. |o||y
askod mo to como oar|y and ho|p tr|m tho troo. l'm st||| not
suro how thoy manouvorod that troo |nto tho apartmont. 1ho
top branchos woro crushod aga|nst tho co|||ng, tho |owor
onos sproad wa||-to-wa||, a|togothor |t was not un||ko tho
yu|ot|do g|ant wo soo |n lockoto||or l|aza. Voroovor, |t
wou|d havo takon a lockoto||or to docorato |t, tor |t soakod
up baub|os and t|nso| ||ko mo|t|ng snow. |o||y suggostod
sho run out to Woo|worth's and stoa| somo ba||oons, sho
d|d: and thoy turnod tho troo |nto a ta|r|y good show. Wo
mado a toast to our work, and |o||y sa|d: look |n tho
bodroom. 1horo's a prosont tor you.
l had ono tor hor, too: a sma|| packago |n my pockot that
to|t ovon sma||or whon l saw, squaro on tho bod and
wrappod w|th a rod r|bbon, tho boaut|tu| b|rd cago. 3ut,
|o||y! lt's droadtu|!
l cou|dn't agroo moro, but l thought you wantod |t.
1ho monoy! 1hroo hundrod and t|tty do||ars!
3ho shruggod. A tow oxtra tr|ps to tho powdor room.
lrom|so mo, though. lrom|so you'|| novor put a ||v|ng th|ng
|n |t.
l startod to k|ss hor, but sho ho|d out hor hand G|mmo,
sho sa|d, tapp|ng tho bu|go |n my pockot.
l'm atra|d |t |sn't much, and |t wasn't: a 3t. Chr|stophor's
moda|. 3ut at |oast |t camo trom 1|ttany's. |o||y was not a
g|r| who cou|d koop anyth|ng, and suro|y by now sho has
|ost that moda|, |ott |t |n a su|tcaso or somo hoto| drawor.
3ut tho b|rd cago |s st||| m|no. l'vo |uggod |t to low Or|oans,
lantuckot, a|| ovor Europo, Vorocco, tho Wost lnd|os. Yot l
so|dom romombor that |t was |o||y who gavo |t to mo,
bocauso at ono po|nt l choso to torgot: wo had a b|g ta|||ng-
out, and among tho objocts rotat|ng |n tho oyo ot our
hurr|cano woro tho b|rd cago and O.1. 3orman and my
story, a copy ot wh|ch l'd g|von |o||y whon |t appoarod |n
tho un|vors|ty rov|ow.
3omot|mo |n |obruary, |o||y had gono on a w|ntor tr|p
w|th lusty, Vag and 1oso Ybarra-1aogar. Our a|torcat|on
happonod soon attor sho roturnod. 3ho was brown as
|od|no, hor ha|r was sun-b|oachod to a ghost-co|or, sho'd
had a wondortu| t|mo: Wo||, t|rst ot a|| wo woro |n Koy
Wost, and lusty got mad at somo sa||ors, or v|co vorsa,
ooywoy ho'|| havo to woar a sp|no braco tho rost ot h|s ||to.
0oarost Vag ondod up |n tho hosp|ta|, too. ||rst-dogroo
sunburn. 0|sgust|ng: a|| b||stors and c|trono||a. Wo cou|dn't
stand tho smo|| ot hor. 3o 1oso and l |ott thom |n tho
hosp|ta| and wont to |avana. |o says wa|t t||| l soo l|o, but
as tar as l'm concornod |avana can tako my monoy r|ght
now. Wo had an |rros|st|b|o gu|do, most ot h|m logro and
tho rost ot h|m Ch|noso, and wh||o l don't go much tor ono
or tho othor, tho comb|nat|on was ta|r|y r|vot|ng: so l |ot h|m
p|ay knoos|o undor tho tab|o, bocauso trank|y l d|dn't t|nd
h|m at a|| bana|, but thon ono n|ght ho took us to a b|uo
mov|o, and what do you supposo? 1horo bo was oo tho
scroon. Ot courso whon wo got back to Koy Wost, Vag
was pos|t|vo l'd spont tho who|o t|mo s|oop|ng w|th 1oso.
3o was lusty: but ho doosn't caro about that, ho s|mp|y
wants to hoar tho dota||s. Actua||y, th|ngs woro protty tonso
unt|| l had a hoart-to-hoart w|th Vag.
Wo woro |n tho tront room, whoro, though |t was now
noar|y Varch, tho onormous Chr|stmas troo, turnod brown
and scont|oss, |ts ba||oons shr|vo|od as an o|d cow's dugs,
st||| occup|od most ot tho spaco. A rocogn|zab|o p|oco ot
turn|turo had boon addod to tho room: an army cot, and
|o||y, try|ng to prosorvo hor trop|c |ook, was spraw|od on |t
undor a sun |amp.
And you conv|ncod hor?
1hat l hadn't s|opt w|th 1oso? God, yos. l s|mp|y to|d --
but you know: mado |t sound ||ko an ogon|zod contoss|on --
s|mp|y to|d hor l was a dyko.
3ho cou|dn't havo bo||ovod that.
1ho ho|| sho d|dn't. Why do you th|nk sho wont out and
bought th|s army cot? loavo |t to mo: l'm a|ways top
banana |n tho shock dopartmont. 3o a dar||ng, dar||ng, rub
somo o|| on my back. Wh||o l was portorm|ng th|s sorv|co,
sho sa|d: O.1. 3orman's |n town, and ||ston, l gavo h|m your
story |n tho magaz|no. |o was qu|to |mprossod. |o th|nks
maybo you'ro worth ho|p|ng. 3ut ho says you'ro on tho
wrong track. logroos and ch||dron: who caros?
lot Vr. 3orman, l gathor.
Wo||, l agroo w|th h|m. l road that story tw|co. 3rats and
n|ggors. 1romb||ng |oavos. Loscrlptloo. lt doosn't mooo
anyth|ng.
Vy hand, smooth|ng o|| on hor sk|n, soomod to havo a
tompor ot |ts own: |t yoarnod to ra|so |tso|t and como down
on hor buttocks. G|vo mo an oxamp|o, l sa|d qu|ot|y. Ot
somoth|ng that moans somoth|ng. ln your op|n|on.
otborlog lolgbts, sho sa|d, w|thout hos|tat|on.
1ho urgo |n my hand was grow|ng boyond contro|. 3ut
that's unroasonab|o. You'ro ta|k|ng about a work ot gon|us.
lt was, wasn't |t? Vy wl|o swoot Cotby. God, l cr|od
buckots. l saw |t ton t|mos.
l sa|d, Oh w|th rocogn|zab|o ro||ot, oh w|th a shamotu|,
r|s|ng |nt|oct|on, tho movlo.
|or musc|os hardonod, tho touch ot hor was ||ko stono
warmod by tho sun. Evorybody has to too| supor|or to
somobody, sho sa|d. 3ut |t's customary to prosont a ||tt|o
proot botoro you tako tho pr|v||ogo.
l don't comparo myso|t to you. Or, 3orman. 1horotoro l
can't too| supor|or. Wo want d|ttoront th|ngs.
0on't you want to mako monoy?
l havon't p|annod that tar.
1hat's how your stor|os sound. As though you'd wr|tton
thom w|thout know|ng tho ond. Wo||, l'|| to|| you: l you'd bottor
mako monoy. You havo an oxpons|vo |mag|nat|on. lot
many poop|o aro go|ng to buy you b|rd cagos.
3orry.
You w||| bo |t you h|t mo. You wantod to a m|nuto ago: l
cou|d too| |t |n your hand, and you want to now.
l d|d, torr|b|y, my hand, my hoart was shak|ng as l
rocappod tho bott|o ot o||. Oh no, l wou|dn't rogrot that. l'm
on|y sorry you wastod your monoy on mo: lusty 1raw|or |s
too hard a way ot oarn|ng |t.
3ho sat up on tho army cot, hor taco, hor nakod broasts
co|d|y b|uo |n tho sun-|amp ||ght. lt shou|d tako you about
tour soconds to wa|k trom horo to tho door. l'|| g|vo you two.

l wont stra|ght upsta|rs, got tho b|rd cago, took |t down
and |ott |t |n tront ot hor door. 1hat sott|od that. Or so l
|mag|nod unt|| tho noxt morn|ng whon, as l was |oav|ng tor
work, l saw tho cago porchod on a s|dowa|k ash-can
wa|t|ng tor tho garbago co||octor. lathor shoop|sh|y, l
roscuod |t and carr|od |t back to my room, a cap|tu|at|on
that d|d not |osson my roso|vo to put |o||y Go||ght|y
abso|uto|y out ot my ||to. 3ho was, l doc|dod, a crudo
oxh|b|t|on|st, a t|mo wastor, an uttor tako: somoono
novor to bo spokon to aga|n.
And l d|dn't. lot tor a |ong wh||o. Wo passod oach othor
on tho sta|rs w|th |oworod oyos. lt sho wa|kod |nto 1oo
3o||'s, l wa|kod out. At ono po|nt, Vadamo 3apph|a
3pano||a, tho co|oratura and ro||or-skat|ng onthus|ast who
||vod on tho t|rst t|oor, c|rcu|atod a pot|t|on among tho
brownstono's othor tonants ask|ng thom to jo|n hor |n hav|ng
V|ss Go||ght|y ov|ctod: sho was, sa|d Vadamo 3pano||a,
mora||y objoct|onab|o and tho porpotrator ot a||-n|ght
gathor|ngs that ondangorod tho satoty and san|ty ot hor
no|ghbors. 1hough l rotusod to s|gn, socrot|y l to|t Vadamo
3pano||a had causo to comp|a|n. 3ut hor pot|t|on ta||od,
and as Apr|| approachod Vay, tho opon-w|ndowod, warm
spr|ng n|ghts woro |ur|d w|th tho party sounds, tho |oud-
p|ay|ng phonograph and mart|n| |aughtor that omanatod
trom Apt. 2.
lt was no novo|ty to oncountor susp|c|ous spoc|mons
among |o||y's ca||ors, qu|to tho contrary, but ono day |ato
that spr|ng, wh||o pass|ng through tho brownstono's
vost|bu|o, l not|cod a vory provocat|vo man oxam|n|ng hor
ma||box. A porson |n h|s oar|y t|tt|os w|th a hard, woathorod
taco, gray tor|orn oyos. |o woro an o|d swoat-sta|nod gray
hat, and h|s choap summor su|t, a pa|o b|uo, hung too
|ooso|y on h|s |anky tramo, h|s shoos woro brown and
brandnow. |o soomod to havo no |ntont|on ot r|ng|ng
|o||y's bo||. 3|ow|y, as though ho woro road|ng 3ra|||o, ho
kopt rubb|ng a t|ngor across tho ombossod |ottor|ng ot hor
namo.
1hat ovon|ng, on my way to suppor, l saw tho man aga|n.
|o was stand|ng across tho stroot, |oan|ng aga|nst a troo
and star|ng up at |o||y's w|ndows. 3|n|stor spocu|at|ons
rushod through my hoad. Was ho a dotoct|vo? Or somo
undorwor|d agont connoctod w|th hor 3|ng 3|ng tr|ond, 3a||y
1omato? 1ho s|tuat|on rov|vod my tondoror too||ngs tor
|o||y, |t was on|y ta|r to |ntorrupt our toud |ong onough to
warn hor that sho was bo|ng watchod. As l wa|kod to tho
cornor, hoad|ng oast toward tho |amburg |oavon at
3ovonty-n|nth and Vad|son, l cou|d too| tho man's attont|on
tocusod on mo. lrosont|y, w|thout turn|ng my hoad, l know
that ho was to||ow|ng mo. 3ocauso l cou|d hoar h|m
that ho was to||ow|ng mo. 3ocauso l cou|d hoar h|m
wh|st||ng. lot any ord|nary tuno, but tho p|a|nt|vo, pra|r|o
mo|ody |o||y somot|mos p|ayod on hor gu|tar: Loo't woooo
s|oop, ooo't woooo olo, jost woooo go o-trovo|lo' tbroogb
tbo postoros o tbo sky. 1ho wh|st||ng cont|nuod across
lark Avonuo and up Vad|son. Onco, wh||o wa|t|ng tor a
tratt|c ||ght to chango, l watchod h|m out ot tho cornor ot my
oyo as ho stoopod to pot a s|oazy lomoran|an. 1hat's a
t|no an|ma| you got thoro, ho to|d tho ownor |n a hoarso,
countr|t|od draw|.
|amburg |oavon was ompty. lovortho|oss, ho took a
soat r|ght bos|do mo at tho |ong countor. |o smo||od ot
tobacco and swoat. |o ordorod a cup ot cottoo, but whon |t
camo ho d|dn't touch |t. lnstoad, ho chowod on a toothp|ck
and stud|od mo |n tho wa|| m|rror tac|ng us.
Excuso mo, l sa|d, spoak|ng to h|m v|a tho m|rror, but
what do you want?
1ho quost|on d|dn't ombarrass h|m, ho soomod ro||ovod
to havo had |t askod. 3on, ho sa|d, l nood a tr|ond.
|o brought out a wa||ot. lt was as worn as h|s |oathory
hands, a|most ta|||ng to p|ocos, and so was tho br|tt|o,
crackod, b|urrod snapshot ho handod mo. 1horo woro
sovon poop|o |n tho p|cturo, a|| groupod togothor on tho
sagg|ng porch ot a stark woodon houso, and a|| ch||dron,
oxcopt tor tho man h|mso|t, who had h|s arm around tho
wa|st ot a p|ump b|ond ||tt|o g|r| w|th a hand shad|ng hor
oyos aga|nst tho sun.
1hat's mo, ho sa|d, po|nt|ng at h|mso|t. 1hat's hor . . .
ho tappod tho p|ump g|r|. And th|s ono ovor horo, ho
addod, |nd|cat|ng a tow-hoadod boanpo|o, that's hor
brothor, |rod.
l |ookod at hor aga|n: and yos, now l can soo |t, an
ombryon|c rosomb|anco to |o||y |n tho squ|nt|ng, tat-
chookod ch||d. At tho samo momont, l roa||zod who tho man
must bo.
You'ro |o||y's otbor.
|o b||nkod, ho trownod. |or namo's not |o||y. 3ho was
a lu|amao 3arnos. Was, ho sa|d, sh|tt|ng tho toothp|ck |n
h|s mouth, t||| sho marr|od mo. l'm hor husband. 0oc
Go||ght|y. l'm a horso doctor, an|ma| man. 0o somo
tarm|ng, too. loar 1u||p, 1oxas. 3on, why aro you |augh|n'?
lt wasn't roa| |aughtor: |t was norvos. l took a swa||ow ot
wator and chokod, ho poundod mo on tho back. 1h|s
horo's no humorous mattor, son. l'm a t|rod man. l'vo boon
t|vo yoars |ook|n' tor my woman. 3oon as l got that |ottor
trom |rod, say|ng whoro sho was, l bought myso|t a t|ckot
on tho Groyhound. lu|amao bo|ongs homo w|th hor
husband and hor churron.
Ch||dron?
7bom's hor churron, ho sa|d, a|most shoutod. |o
moant tho tour othor young tacos |n tho p|cturo, two baro-
tootod g|r|s and a pa|r ot ovora||od boys. Wo||, ot courso:
tho man was dorangod. 3ut |o||y can't bo tho mothor ot
thoso ch||dron. 1hoy'ro o|dor than sho |s. 3|ggor.
low, son, ho sa|d |n a roason|ng vo|co, l d|dn't c|a|m
thoy was hor natura|-born churron. 1ho|r own proc|ous
mothor, proc|ous woman, 1osus rost hor sou|, sho passod
away 1u|y 4th, lndopondonco 0ay, 1080. 1ho yoar ot tho
drought. Whon l marr|od lu|amao, that was |n 0ocombor,
1088, sho was go|ng on tourtoon. Vaybo an ord|nary
porson, bo|ng on|y tourtoon, wou|dn't know tho|r r|ght m|nd.
3ut you tako lu|amao, sho was an oxcopt|ona| woman. 3ho
know good-and-wo|| what sho was do|ng whon sho
prom|sod to bo my w|to and tho mothor ot my churron. 3ho
p|a|n broko our hoarts whon sho ran ott ||ko sho dono. |o
s|ppod h|s co|d cottoo, and g|ancod at mo w|th a soarch|ng
oarnostnoss. low, son, do you doubt mo? 0o you bo||ovo
what l'm say|ng |s so?
l d|d. lt was too |mp|aus|b|o not to bo tact, moroovor, |t
dovota||od w|th O.1. 3orman's doscr|pt|on ot tho |o||y ho'd
t|rst oncountorod |n Ca||torn|a: You don't know whothor
sho's a h|||b|||y or an Ok|o or what. 3orman cou|dn't bo
b|amod tor not guoss|ng that sho was a ch||d-w|to trom
1u||p, 1oxas.
l|a|n broko our hoarts whon sho ran ott ||ko sho dono,
tho horso doctor ropoatod. 3ho had no causo. A|| tho
housowork was dono by hor daughtors. lu|amao cou|d just
tako |t oasy: tuss |n tront ot m|rrors and wash hor ha|r. Our
own cows, our own gardon, ch|ckons, p|gs: son, that
woman got pos|t|vo|y tat. Wh||o hor brothor growod |nto a
g|ant. Wh|ch |s a s|ght d|ttoront trom how thoy como to us.
'1was lo|||o, my o|dost g|r|, 'twas lo|||o brought 'om |nto tho
houso. 3ho como to mo ono morn|ng, and sa|d: 'lapa, l got
two w||d yunguns |ockod |n tho k|tchon. l caught 'om outs|do
stoa||ng m||k and turkoy oggs.' 1hat was lu|amao and |rod.
Wo||, you novor saw a moro p|t|tu| somoth|ng. l|bs st|ck|ng
out ovorywhoro, |ogs so puny thoy can't hard|y stand, tooth
wobb||ng so bad thoy can't chow mush. 3tory was: tho|r
mothor d|od ot tho 13, and tho|r papa dono tho samo -- and
a|| tho churron, a who|o ratt ot 'om, thoy boon sont ott to ||vo
w|th d|ttoront moan poop|o. low lu|amao and hor brothor,
thom two boon ||v|ng w|th somo moan, no-count poop|o a
hundrod m||os oast ot 1u||p. 3ho had good causo to run ott
trom that houso. 3ho d|dn't havo nono to |oavo m|no. 1was
hor homo. |o |oanod h|s o|bows on tho countor and,
pross|ng h|s c|osod oyos w|th h|s t|ngort|ps, s|ghod. 3ho
p|umpod out to bo a roa| protty woman. l|vo|y, too. 1a|ky as
a jayb|rd. W|th somoth|ng smart to say on ovory subjoct:
bottor than tho rad|o. ||rst th|ng you know, l'm out p|ck|ng
t|owors. l tamod hor a crow and taught |t to say hor namo. l
showod hor how to p|ay tho gu|tar. 1ust to |ook at hor mado
tho toars spr|ng to my oyos. 1ho n|ght l proposod, l cr|od
||ko a baby. 3ho sa|d: 'What you want to cry tor, 0oc?
'Courso wo'|| bo marr|od. l'vo novor boon marr|od botoro.'
Wo||, l had to |augh, hug and squoozo hor: oovor booo
morrloo booro! |o chuck|od, chowod on h|s toothp|ck a
momont. 0on't to|| mo that woman wasn't happy! ho sa|d,
cha||ong|ng|y. Wo a|| dotod on hor. 3ho d|dn't havo to ||tt a
t|ngor, 'copt to oat a p|oco ot p|o. 'Copt to comb hor ha|r
and sond away tor a|| tho magaz|nos. Wo must'vo had a
hunnord do||ars' worth ot magaz|nos como |nto that houso.
Ask mo, that's what dono |t. look|ng at show-ott p|cturos.
load|ng droams. 1hat's what startod hor wa|k|ng down tho
road. Evory day sho'd wa|k a ||tt|o turthor: a m||o, and como
homo. 1wo m||os, and como homo. Ono day sho just kopt
on. |o put h|s hands ovor h|s oyos aga|n, h|s broath|ng
mado a raggod no|so. 1ho crow l g|vo hor wont w||d and
t|ow away. A|| summor you cou|d hoar h|m. ln tho yard. ln tho
gardon. ln tho woods. A|| summor that damnod b|rd was
ca|||ng: lu|amao, lu|amao.
|o stayod hunchod ovor and s||ont, as though ||ston|ng to
tho |ong-ago summor sound. l carr|od our chocks to tho
cash|or. Wh||o l was pay|ng, ho jo|nod mo. Wo |ott togothor
and wa|kod ovor to lark Avonuo. lt was a coo|, b|owy
ovon|ng, swanky awn|ngs t|appod |n tho broozo. 1ho
qu|otnoss botwoon us cont|nuod unt|| l sa|d: 3ut what
about hor brothor? |o d|dn't |oavo?
lo, s|r, ho sa|d, c|oar|ng h|s throat. |rod was w|th us
r|ght t||| thoy took h|m |n tho Army. A t|no boy. ||no w|th
horsos. |o d|dn't know what got |nto lu|amao, how como
sho |ott hor brothor and husband and churron. Attor ho was
|n tho Army, though, |rod startod hoar|ng trom hor. 1ho
othor day ho wroto mo hor addross. 3o l como to got hor. l
know ho's sorry tor what sho dono. l know sho wants to go
homo. |o soomod to bo ask|ng mo to agroo w|th h|m. l
to|d h|m that l thought ho'd t|nd |o||y, or lu|amao, somowhat
changod. l|ston, son, ho sa|d, as wo roachod tho stops ot
tho brownstono, l adv|sod you l nood a tr|ond. 3ocauso l
don't want to surpr|so hor. 3caro hor nono. 1hat's why l'vo
ho|d ott. 3o my tr|ond: |ot hor know l'm horo.
1ho not|on ot |ntroduc|ng Vrs. Go||ght|y to hor husband
had |ts sat|sty|ng aspocts, and, g|anc|ng up at hor ||ghtod
w|ndows, l hopod hor tr|onds woro thoro, tor tho prospoct ot
watch|ng tho 1oxan shako hands w|th Vag and lusty and
1oso was moro sat|sty|ng st|||. 3ut 0oc Go||ght|y's proud
oarnost oyos and swoat-sta|nod hat mado mo ashamod ot
such ant|c|pat|ons. |o to||owod mo |nto tho houso and
proparod to wa|t at tho bottom ot tho sta|rs. 0o l |ook
n|co? ho wh|sporod, brush|ng h|s s|oovos, t|ghton|ng tho
knot ot h|s t|o.
|o||y was a|ono. 3ho answorod tho door at onco, |n tact,
sho was on hor way out -- wh|to sat|n danc|ng pumps and
quant|t|os ot portumo announcod ga|a |ntont|ons. Wo||,
|d|ot, sho sa|d, and p|aytu||y s|appod mo w|th hor purso.
|d|ot, sho sa|d, and p|aytu||y s|appod mo w|th hor purso.
l'm |n too much ot a hurry to mako up now. Wo'|| smoko tho
p|po tomorrow, okay?
3uro, lu|amao. lt you'ro st||| around tomorrow.
3ho took ott hor dark g|assos and squ|ntod at mo. lt was
as though hor oyos woro shattorod pr|sms, tho dots ot b|uo
and gray and groon ||ko brokon b|ts ot spark|o. lo to|d you
that, sho sa|d |n a sma||, sh|vor|ng vo|co.
Oh, p|oaso. boro |s ho? 3ho ran past mo |nto tho
ha||. |rod! sho ca||od down tho sta|rs. |rod! Whoro aro
you, dar||ng?
l cou|d hoar 0oc Go||ght|y's tootstops c||mb|ng tho sta|rs.
||s hoad appoarod abovo tho ban|stors, and |o||y backod
away trom h|m, not as though sho woro tr|ghtonod, but as
though sho woro rotroat|ng |nto a sho|| ot d|sappo|ntmont.
1hon ho was stand|ng |n tront ot hor, hangdog and shy.
Gosh, lu|amao, ho bogan, and hos|tatod, tor |o||y was
gaz|ng at h|m vacant|y, as though sho cou|dn't p|aco h|m.
Goo, honoy, ho sa|d, don't thoy tood you up horo? You'ro
so sk|nny. l|ko whon l t|rst saw you. A|| w||d around tho
oyo.
|o||y touchod h|s taco, hor t|ngors tostod tho roa||ty ot h|s
ch|n, h|s board stubb|o. |o||o, 0oc, sho sa|d gont|y, and
k|ssod h|m on tho chook. |o||o, 0oc, sho ropoatod
happ||y, as ho ||ttod hor ott hor toot |n a r|b-crush|ng gr|p.
Whoops ot ro||ovod |aughtor shook h|m. Gosh, lu|amao.
K|ngdom como.
lo|thor ot thom not|cod mo whon l squoozod past thom
and wont up to my room. lor d|d thoy soom awaro ot
Vadamo 3apph|a 3pano||a, who oponod hor door and
yo||od: 3hut up! lt's a d|sgraco. 0o your whor|ng
o|sowhoro.

Llvorco h|m? Ot courso l novor d|vorcod h|m. l was on|y
tourtoon, tor God's sako. lt cou|dn't havo boon |ogo|. |o||y
tappod an ompty mart|n| g|ass. 1wo moro, my dar||ng Vr.
3o||.
1oo 3o||, |n whoso bar wo woro s|tt|ng, accoptod tho
ordor ro|uctant|y. You'ro rock|n' tho boat k|nda oar|y, ho
comp|a|nod, crunch|ng on a 1ums. lt was not yot noon,
accord|ng to tho b|ack mahogany c|ock boh|nd tho bar, and
ho'd a|roady sorvod us throo rounds.
3ut |t's 3unday, Vr. 3o||. C|ocks aro s|ow on 3undays.
3os|dos, l havon't boon to bod yot, sho to|d h|m, and
cont|dod to mo: lot to s|oop. 3ho b|ushod, and g|ancod
away gu||t||y. |or tho t|rst t|mo s|nco l'd known hor, sho
soomod to too| a nood to just|ty horso|t: Wo||, l had to. 0oc
roa||y |ovos mo, you know. And l |ovo h|m. |o may havo
|ookod o|d and tacky to you. 3ut you don't know tho
swootnoss ot h|m, tho cont|donco ho can g|vo to b|rds and
brats and trag||o th|ngs ||ko that. Anyono who ovor gavo you
cont|donco, you owo thom a |ot. l'vo a|ways romomborod
0oc |n my prayors. l|oaso stop sm|rk|ng! sho domandod,
stabb|ng out a c|garotto. l oo say my prayors.
l'm not sm|rk|ng. l'm sm|||ng. You'ro tho most amaz|ng
porson.
l supposo l am, sho sa|d, and hor taco, wan, rathor
bru|sod-|ook|ng |n tho morn|ng ||ght, br|ghtonod, sho
smoothod hor tous|od ha|r, and tho co|ors ot |t g||mmorod
||ko a shampoo advort|somont. l must |ook t|orco. 3ut who
wou|dn't? Wo spont tho rost ot tho n|ght roam|ng around |n
a bus stat|on. l|ght up t||| tho |ast m|nuto 0oc thought l was
go|ng to go w|th h|m. Evon though l kopt to|||ng h|m: 3ut,
0oc, l'm not tourtoon any moro, and l'm not lu|amao. 3ut
tho torr|b|o part |s (and l roa||zod |t wh||o wo woro stand|ng
thoro) l am. l'm st||| stoa||ng turkoy oggs and runn|ng through
a br|or patch. On|y now l ca|| |t hav|ng tho moan rods.
1oo 3o|| d|sda|ntu||y sott|od tho trosh mart|n|s |n tront ot
us.
lovor |ovo a w||d th|ng, Vr. 3o||, |o||y adv|sod h|m.
1hat was 0oc's m|stako. |o was a|ways |ugg|ng homo
w||d th|ngs. A hawk w|th a hurt w|ng. Ono t|mo |t was a tu||-
grown bobcat w|th a brokon |og. 3ut you can't g|vo your
hoart to a w||d th|ng: tho moro you do, tho strongor thoy got.
Unt|| thoy'ro strong onough to run |nto tho woods. Or t|y |nto
a troo. 1hon a ta||or troo. 1hon tho sky. 1hat's how you'|| ond
up, Vr. 3o||. lt you |ot yourso|t |ovo a w||d th|ng. You'|| ond up
|ook|ng at tho sky.
3ho's drunk, 1oo 3o|| |ntormod mo.
Vodorato|y, |o||y contossod. 3ut 0oc know what l
moant. l oxp|a|nod |t to h|m vory carotu||y, and |t was
somoth|ng ho cou|d undorstand. Wo shook hands and ho|d
on to oach othor and ho w|shod mo |uck. 3ho g|ancod at
tho c|ock. |o must bo |n tho 3|uo Vounta|ns by now.
What's sho ta|k|n' about? 1oo 3o|| askod mo.
|o||y ||ttod hor mart|n|. lot's w|sh tho 0oc |uck, too, sho
sa|d, touch|ng hor g|ass aga|nst m|no. Good |uck: and
bo||ovo mo, doarost 0oc -- |t's bottor to |ook at tho sky than
||vo thoro. 3uch an ompty p|aco, so vaguo. 1ust a country
whoro tho thundor goos and th|ngs d|sappoar.

1lAWlEl VAlllE3 |OUl1|. l was on a subway
somowhoro |n 3rook|yn whon l saw that hoad||no. 1ho
papor that bannorod |t bo|ongod to anothor passongor. 1ho
on|y part ot tho toxt that l cou|d soo road: Rotbororo
Rosty 7row|or, tbo ml||looolro p|oyboy otoo occosoo o
pro-Nozl sympotblos, o|opoo to Orooowlcb yostorooy wltb
o boootlo| -- lot that l wantod to road any moro. |o||y had
marr|od h|m: wo||, wo||. l w|shod l woro undor tho whoo|s ot
tho tra|n. 3ut l'd boon w|sh|ng that botoro l spottod tho
hoad||no. |or a hoadtu| ot roasons. l hadn't soon |o||y, not
roa||y, s|nco our drunkon 3unday at 1oo 3o||'s bar. 1ho
|ntorvon|ng wooks had g|von mo my own caso ot tho moan
rods. ||rst ott, l'd boon t|rod trom my job: dosorvod|y, and
tor an amus|ng m|sdomoanor too comp||catod to rocount
horo. A|so, my dratt board was d|sp|ay|ng an uncomtortab|o
|ntorost, and, hav|ng so rocont|y oscapod tho rog|montat|on
ot a sma|| town, tho |doa ot ontor|ng anothor torm ot
d|sc|p||nod ||to mado mo dosporato. 3otwoon tho
uncorta|nty ot my dratt status and a |ack ot spoc|t|c
oxpor|onco, l cou|dn't soom to t|nd anothor job. 1hat was
what l was do|ng on a subway |n 3rook|yn: roturn|ng trom a
d|scourag|ng |ntorv|ow w|th an od|tor ot tho now dotunct
nowspapor, PV. A|| th|s, comb|nod w|th tho c|ty hoat ot tho
summor, had roducod mo to a stato ot norvous |nort|a. 3o l
moro than ha|t moant |t whon l w|shod l woro undor tho
whoo|s ot tho tra|n. 1ho hoad||no mado tho dos|ro qu|to
pos|t|vo. lt |o||y cou|d marry that absurd tootus, thon tho
army ot wrongnoss rampant |n tho wor|d m|ght as wo||
march ovor mo. Or, and tho quost|on |s apparont, was my
outrago a ||tt|o tho rosu|t ot bo|ng |n |ovo w|th |o||y myso|t?
A ||tt|o. |or l was |n |ovo w|th hor. 1ust as l'd onco boon |n
|ovo w|th my mothor's o|dor|y co|orod cook and a postman
who |ot mo to||ow h|m on h|s rounds and a who|o tam||y
namod VcKondr|ck. 1hat catogory ot |ovo gonoratos
joa|ousy, too.
Whon l roachod my stat|on l bought a papor, and,
road|ng tho ta||-ond ot that sontonco, d|scovorod that
lusty's br|do was: o boootlo| covor glr| rom tbo Arkoosos
bl||s, Vlss Vorgorot 7botcbor lltzboo l|owooo. Vag! Vy
|ogs wont so ||mp w|th ro||ot l took a tax| tho rost ot tho way
homo.
Vadamo 3apph|a 3pano||a mot mo |n tho ha||, w||d-oyod
and wr|ng|ng hor hands. lun, sho sa|d. 3r|ng tho po||co.
3ho |s k||||ng somobody! 3omobody |s k||||ng hor!
lt soundod ||ko |t. As though t|gors woro |ooso |n |o||y's
apartmont. A r|ot ot crash|ng g|ass, ot r|pp|ngs and ca|||ngs
and ovorturnod turn|turo. 3ut thoro woro no quarro||ng
vo|cos |ns|do tho uproar, wh|ch mado |t soom unnatura|.
lun, shr|okod Vadamo 3pano||a, push|ng mo. 1o|| tho
po||co murdor!
l ran, but on|y upsta|rs to |o||y's door. lound|ng on |t had
ono rosu|t: tho rackot subs|dod. 3toppod a|togothor. 3ut
|oad|ng to |ot mo |n wont unansworod, and my ottorts to
broak down tho door moro|y cu|m|natod |n a bru|sod
shou|dor. 1hon bo|ow l hoard Vadamo 3pano||a
command|ng somo nowcomor to go tor tho po||co. 3hut
up, sho was to|d, and got out ot my way.
lt was 1oso Ybarra-1aogar. look|ng not at a|| tho smart
3raz|||an d|p|omat, but swoaty and tr|ghtonod. |o ordorod
mo out ot h|s way, too. And, us|ng h|s own koy, oponod tho
door. ln horo, 0r. Go|dman, ho sa|d, bockon|ng to a man
accompany|ng h|m.
3|nco no ono provontod mo, l to||owod thom |nto tho
apartmont, wh|ch was tromondous|y wrockod. At |ast tho
Chr|stmas troo had boon d|smant|od, vory ||tora||y: |ts brown
dry branchos spraw|od |n a wo|tor ot torn-up books, brokon
|amps and phonograph rocords. Evon tho |cobox had boon
ompt|od, |ts contonts tossod around tho room: raw oggs
woro s||d|ng down tho wa||s and |n tho m|dst ot tho dobr|s
|o||y's no-namo cat was ca|m|y ||ck|ng a pudd|o ot m||k.
ln tho bodroom, tho smo|| ot smashod portumo bott|os
mado mo gag. l stoppod on |o||y's dark g|assos, thoy woro
|y|ng on tho t|oor, tho |onsos a|roady shattorod, tho tramos
crackod |n ha|t. lorhaps that |s why |o||y, a r|g|d t|guro on
tho bod, starod at 1oso so b||nd|y, soomod not to soo tho
doctor, who, tost|ng hor pu|so, croonod: You'ro a t|rod
young |ady. vory t|rod. You want to go to s|oop, don't you?
3|oop.
|o||y rubbod hor torohoad, |oav|ng a smoar ot b|ood
trom a cut t|ngor. 3|oop, sho sa|d, and wh|mporod ||ko an
oxhaustod, trottu| ch||d. |o's tho on|y ono wou|d ovor |ot
mo. lot mo hug h|m on co|d n|ghts. l saw a p|aco |n Vox|co.
W|th horsos. 3y tho soa.
W|th horsos by tho soa, |u||ab|od tho doctor, so|oct|ng
trom h|s b|ack caso a hypodorm|c.
1oso avortod h|s taco, quoasy at tho s|ght ot a nood|o.
|or s|cknoss |s on|y gr|ot? ho askod, h|s d|tt|cu|t Eng||sh
|ond|ng tho quost|on an un|ntondod |rony. 3ho |s gr|ov|ng
on|y?
0|dn't hurt a b|t, now d|d |t? |nqu|rod tho doctor, smug|y
dabb|ng |o||y's arm w|th a scrap ot cotton.
3ho camo to sutt|c|ont|y to tocus tho doctor. Evorytblog
hurts. Whoro aro my g|assos? 3ut sho d|dn't nood thom.
|or oyos woro c|os|ng ot tho|r own accord.
3ho |s on|y gr|ov|ng? |ns|stod 1oso.
l|oaso, s|r, tho doctor was qu|to short w|th h|m, |t you
w||| |oavo mo a|ono w|th tho pat|ont.
1oso w|thdrow to tho tront room, whoro ho ro|oasod h|s
tompor on tho snoop|ng, t|ptoo|ng prosonco ot Vadamo
3pano||a. 0on't touch mo! l'|| ca|| tho po||co, sho
throatonod as ho wh|ppod hor to tho door w|th lortuguoso
oaths.
|o cons|dorod throw|ng mo out, too, or so l surm|sod
trom h|s oxpross|on. lnstoad, ho |nv|tod mo to havo a dr|nk.
1ho on|y unbrokon bott|o wo cou|d t|nd conta|nod dry
vormouth. l havo a worry, ho cont|dod. l havo a worry that
th|s shou|d causo scanda|. |or crash|ng ovoryth|ng.
Conduct|ng ||ko a crazy. l must havo no pub||c scanda|. lt |s
too do||cato: my namo, my work.
|o soomod choorod to |oarn that l saw no roason tor a
scanda|, domo||sh|ng ono's own possoss|ons was,
prosumab|y, a pr|vato atta|r.
lt |s on|y a quost|on ot gr|ov|ng, ho t|rm|y doc|arod.
Whon tho sadnoss camo, t|rst sho throws tho dr|nk sho |s
dr|nk|ng. 1ho bott|o. 1hoso books. A |amp. 1hon l am
scarod. l hurry to br|ng a doctor.
3ut why? l wantod to know. Why shou|d sho havo a t|t
ovor, lusty? lt l woro hor, l'd co|obrato.
lusty?
l was st||| carry|ng my nowspapor, and showod h|m tho
hoad||no.
Oh, that. |o gr|nnod rathor scorntu||y. 1hoy do us a
grand tavor, lusty and Vag. Wo |augh ovor |t: how thoy
th|nk thoy broak our hoarts whon a|| tho t|mo wo want thom
to run away. l assuro you, wo woro |augh|ng whon tho
sadnoss camo. ||s oyos soarchod tho ||ttor on tho t|oor, ho
p|ckod up a ba|| ot yo||ow papor. 1h|s, ho sa|d.
lt was a to|ogram trom 1u||p, 1oxas: Rocolvoo ootlco
yooog lroo kl||oo lo octloo ovorsoos stop yoor bosbooo
ooo cbl|oroo jolo lo tbo sorrow o oor motoo| |oss stop
|ottor o||ows |ovo Loc. |o||y novor mont|onod hor brothor
aga|n: oxcopt onco. Voroovor, sho stoppod ca|||ng mo
|rod. 1uno, 1u|y, a|| through tho warm months sho
h|bornatod ||ko a w|ntor an|ma| who d|d not know spr|ng
had como and gono. |or ha|r darkonod, sho put on wo|ght.
3ho bocamo rathor caro|oss about hor c|othos: usod to
rush round to tho do||catosson woar|ng a ra|n-s||ckor and
noth|ng undornoath. 1oso movod |nto tho apartmont, h|s
namo rop|ac|ng Vag W||dwood's on tho ma||box. 3t|||, |o||y
was a good doa| a|ono, tor 1oso stayod |n Wash|ngton
throo days a wook. 0ur|ng h|s absoncos sho ontorta|nod no
ono and so|dom |ott tho apartmont -- oxcopt on 1hursdays,
whon sho mado hor wook|y tr|p to Oss|n|ng.
Wh|ch |s not to |mp|y that sho had |ost |ntorost |n ||to, tar
trom |t, sho soomod moro contont, a|togothor happ|or than
l'd ovor soon hor. A koon suddon un-|o||y-||ko onthus|asm
tor homomak|ng rosu|tod |n sovora| un-|o||y-||ko purchasos:
at a larko-3ornot auct|on sho acqu|rod a stag-at-bay
at a larko-3ornot auct|on sho acqu|rod a stag-at-bay
hunt|ng tapostry and, trom tho W||||am lando|ph |oarst
ostato, a g|oomy pa|r ot Goth|c oasy cha|rs, sho bought
tho comp|oto Vodorn l|brary, sho|vos ot c|ass|ca| rocords,
|nnumorab|o. Votropo||tan Vusoum roproduct|ons
(|nc|ud|ng a statuo ot a Ch|noso cat that hor own cat hatod
and h|ssod at and u|t|mato|y broko), a War|ng m|xor and a
prossuro cookor and a ||brary ot cook books. 3ho spont
who|o haustrau attornoons s|opp|ng about |n tho swoatbox
ot hor m|dgot k|tchon: 1oso says l'm bottor than tho
Co|ony. loa||y, who wou|d havo droamod l had such a groat
natura| ta|ont? A month ago l cou|dn't scramb|o oggs. And
st||| cou|dn't, tor that mattor. 3|mp|o d|shos, stoak, a propor
sa|ad, woro boyond hor. lnstoad, sho tod 1oso, and
occas|ona||y myso|t, ootro soups (brand|od b|ack torrap|n
pourod |nto avocado sho||s) loro-|sh novo|t|os (roastod
phoasant stuttod w|th pomogranatos and pors|mmons) and
othor dub|ous |nnovat|ons (ch|ckon and sattron r|co sorvod
w|th a choco|ato sauco: An East lnd|an c|ass|c, my doar.)
Wart|mo sugar and croam rat|on|ng rostr|ctod hor
|mag|nat|on whon |t camo to swoots -- novortho|oss, sho
onco managod somoth|ng ca||od 1obacco 1ap|oca: bost
not doscr|bo |t.
lor doscr|bo hor attompts to mastor lortuguoso, an
ordoa| as tod|ous to mo as |t was to hor, tor whonovor l
v|s|tod hor an a|bum ot l|nguaphono rocords novor coasod
rotat|ng on tho phonograph. low, too, sho raro|y spoko a
sontonco that d|d not bog|n, Attor wo'ro marr|od -- or
Whon wo movo to l|o -- Yot 1oso had novor suggostod
marr|ago. 3ho adm|ttod |t. 3ut, attor a||, ho koows l'm
proggors. Wo||, l am, dar||ng. 3|x wooks gono. l don't soo
why tbot shou|d surpr|so you. lt d|dn't mo. lot oo poo b|t. l'm
do||ghtod. l want to havo at |oast n|no. l'm suro somo ot
thom w||| bo rathor dark -- 1oso has a touch ot |o ogro, l
supposo you guossod that? Wh|ch |s t|no by mo: what
cou|d bo prott|or than a qu|to coony baby w|th br|ght groon
boaut|tu| oyos? l w|sh, p|oaso don't |augh -- but l w|sh l'd
boon a v|rg|n tor h|m, tor 1oso. lot that l'vo warmod tho
mu|t|tudos somo poop|o say: l don't b|amo tho bastards tor
say|ng |t, l'vo a|ways thrown out such a jazzy ||no. loa||y,
though, l totod up tho othor n|ght, and l'vo on|y had o|ovon
|ovors -- not count|ng anyth|ng that happonod botoro l was
th|rtoon bocauso, attor a||, that just oooso't count. E|ovon.
0oos that mako mo a whoro? look at Vag W||dwood. Or
|onoy 1uckor. Or loso E||on Ward. 1hoy'vo had tho o|d
c|ap-yo'-hands so many t|mos |t amounts to app|auso. Ot
courso l havon't anyth|ng ogolost whoros. Excopt th|s: somo
ot thom may havo an honost tonguo but thoy a|| havo
d|shonost hoarts. l moan, you can't bang tho guy and cash
h|s chocks and at |oast not try to bo||ovo you |ovo h|m. l
novor havo. Evon 3onny 3hack|ott and a|| thoso rodonts. l
sort ot hypnot|zod myso|t |nto th|nk|ng tho|r shoor ratt|noss
had a corta|n a||uro. Actua||y, oxcopt tor 0oc, |t you want to
count 0oc, 1oso |s my t|rst non-rat romanco. Oh, ho's not
my |doa ot tho abso|uto t|n|to. |o to||s ||tt|o ||os and ho
worr|os what poop|o tblok and ho takos about t|tty baths a
day: mon ought to smo|| somowhat. |o's too pr|m, too
caut|ous to bo my guy |doa|, ho a|ways turns h|s back to got
undrossod and ho makos too much no|so whon ho oats
and l don't ||ko to soo h|m run bocauso thoro's somoth|ng
tunny-|ook|ng about h|m whon ho runs. lt l woro troo to
chooso trom ovorybody a||vo, just snap my t|ngors and say
como horo you, l wou|dn't p|ck 1oso. lohru, ho's noaror tho
mark. Wondo|| W||k|o. l'd sott|o tor Garbo any day. Why
not? A porson ought to bo ab|o to marry mon or womon or -
- ||ston, |t you camo to mo and sa|d you wantod to h|tch up
w|th Van o' War, l'd rospoct your too||ng. lo, l'm sor|ous.
lovo shou|d bo a||owod. l'm a|| tor |t. low that l'vo got a
protty good |doa what |t |s. 3ocauso l oo |ovo 1oso -- l'd
stop smok|ng |t ho askod mo to. |o's rlooo|y, ho can |augh
mo out ot tho moan rods, on|y l don't havo thom much any
moro, oxcopt somot|mos, and ovon thon thoy'ro not so
h|doo|a that l gu|p 3ocona| or havo to hau| myso|t to
1|ttany's: l tako h|s su|t to tho c|oanor, or stutt somo
mushrooms, and l too| t|no, just groat. Anothor th|ng, l'vo
thrown away my horoscopos. l must havo spont a do||ar on
ovory goddamn star |n tho goddamn p|anotar|um. lt's a
boro, but tho answor, |s good th|ngs on|y happon to you |t
you'ro good. Good? |onost |s moro what l moan. lot |aw-
typo honost -- l'd rob a gravo, l'd stoa| two-b|ts ott a doad
man's oyos |t l thought |t wou|d contr|buto to tho day's
onjoymont -- but unto-thyso|t-typo honost. 3o anyth|ng but a
coward, a protondor, an omot|ona| crook, a whoro: l'd
rathor havo cancor than a d|shonost hoart. Wh|ch |sn't
bo|ng p|ous. 1ust pract|ca|. Cancor moy coo| you, but tho
othor's suro to. Oh, scrow |t, cook|o -- hand mo my gu|tar,
and l'|| s|ng you a ooo |n tbo most portoct lortuguoso.
1hoso t|na| wooks, spann|ng ond ot summor and tho
bog|nn|ng ot anothor autumn, aro b|urrod |n momory,
porhaps bocauso our undorstand|ng ot oach othor had
roachod that swoot dopth whoro two poop|o commun|cato
moro otton |n s||onco than |n words: an attoct|onato
qu|otnoss rop|acos tho tons|ons, tho unro|axod chattor and
chas|ng about that produco a tr|ondsh|p's moro showy,
moro, |n tho surtaco sonso, dramat|c momonts. |roquont|y,
whon bo was out ot town (l'd dovo|opod host||o att|tudos
toward blm, and so|dom usod h|s namo) wo spont ont|ro
ovon|ngs togothor dur|ng wh|ch wo oxchangod |oss than a
hundrod words, onco, wo wa|kod a|| tho way to Ch|natown,
ato a chow-mo|n suppor, bought somo papor |antorns and
sto|o a box ot joss st|cks, thon mosoyod across tho
3rook|yn 3r|dgo, and on tho br|dgo, as wo watchod
soaward-mov|ng sh|ps pass botwoon tho c||tts ot burn|ng
sky||no, sho sa|d: Yoars trom now, yoars and yoars, ono ot
thoso sh|ps w||| br|ng mo back, mo and my n|no 3raz|||an
brats. 3ocauso yos, thoy most soo th|s, thoso ||ghts, tho
r|vor -- l |ovo low York, ovon though |t |sn't m|no, tho way
somoth|ng has to bo, a troo or a stroot or a houso,
somoth|ng, anyway, that bo|ongs to mo bocauso l bo|ong to
|t. And l sa|d: 0o shut up, tor l to|t |ntur|at|ng|y |ott out -- a
tugboat |n drydock wh||o sho, g||ttory voyagor ot socuro
dost|nat|on, stoamod down tho harbor w|th wh|st|os
wh|st||ng and contott| |n tho a|r. 3o tho days, tho |ast days,
b|ow about |n momory, hazy, autumna|, a|| a||ko as |oavos:
unt|| a day un||ko any othor l'vo ||vod.

lt happonod to ta|| on tho 80th ot 3optombor, my
b|rthday, a tact wh|ch had no ottoct on ovonts, oxcopt that,
oxpoct|ng somo torm ot monotary romombranco trom my
tam||y, l was oagor tor tho postman's morn|ng v|s|t. lndood, l
wont downsta|rs and wa|tod tor h|m. lt l had not boon
|o|tor|ng |n tho vost|bu|o, thon |o||y wou|d not havo askod
mo to go horsoback r|d|ng, and wou|d not, consoquont|y,
havo had tho opportun|ty to savo my ||to.
Como on, sho sa|d, whon sho tound mo awa|t|ng tho
postman. lot's wa|k a coup|o ot horsos around tho park.
3ho was woar|ng a w|ndbroakor and a pa|r ot b|uo joans
and tonn|s shoos, sho s|appod hor stomach, draw|ng
attont|on to |ts t|atnoss: 0on't th|nk l'm out to |oso tho ho|r.
3ut thoro's a horso, my dar||ng o|d Vabo| V|norva -- l can't
go w|thout say|ng good-byo to Vabo| V|norva.
Good-byo?
A wook trom 3aturday. 1oso bought tho t|ckots. ln
rathor a tranco, l |ot hor |oad mo down to tho stroot. Wo
chango p|anos |n V|am|. 1hon ovor tho soa. Ovor tho
Andos. 1ax|!
Ovor tho Andos. As wo rodo |n a cab across Contra|
lark |t soomod to mo as though l, too, woro t|y|ng,
doso|ato|y t|oat|ng ovor snow-poakod and por||ous torr|tory.
3ut you can't. Attor a||, what about. Wo||, what about.
Wo||, you can't roo||y run ott and |oavo ovorybody.
l don't th|nk anyono w||| m|ss mo. l havo no tr|onds.
l w|||. V|ss you. 3o w||| 1oo 3o||. And oh -- m||||ons. l|ko
3a||y. loor Vr. 1omato.
l |ovod o|d 3a||y, sho sa|d, and s|ghod. You know l
havon't boon to soo h|m |n a month? Whon l to|d h|m l was
go|ng away, ho was an ango|. Actoo||y -- sho trownod --
ho soomod oo|lgbtoo that l was |oav|ng tho country. |o
sa|d |t was a|| tor tho bost. 3ocauso soonor or |ator thoro
m|ght bo troub|o. lt thoy tound out l wasn't h|s roa| n|oco.
1hat tat |awyor, O'3haughnossy, O'3haughnossy sont mo
t|vo hundrod do||ars. ln cash. A wodd|ng prosont trom
3a||y.
l wantod to bo unk|nd. You can oxpoct a prosont trom
mo, too. Whon, and |t, tho wodd|ng happons.
3ho |aughod. |o'|| marry mo, a|| r|ght. ln church. And
w|th h|s tam||y thoro. 1hat's why wo'ro wa|t|ng t||| wo got to
l|o.
0oos ho know you'ro marr|od a|roady?
What's tho mattor w|th you? Aro you try|ng to ru|n tho
day? lt's a boaut|tu| day: |oavo |t a|ono!
3ut |t's portoct|y poss|b|o --
lt lso't poss|b|o. l'vo to|d you, that wasn't |oga|. lt coo|oo't
bo. 3ho rubbod hor noso, and g|ancod at mo s|doways.
Vont|on that to a ||v|ng sou|, dar||ng. l'|| hang you by your
toos and dross you tor a hog.
1ho stab|os -- l bo||ovo thoy havo boon rop|acod by
to|ov|s|on stud|os -- woro on Wost 3|xty-s|xth stroot |o||y
so|octod tor mo an o|d sway-back b|ack and wh|to maro:
0on't worry, sho's sator than a crad|o. Wh|ch, |n my caso,
was a nocossary guarantoo, tor ton-cont pony r|dos at
ch||dhood carn|va|s woro tho ||m|t ot my oquostr|an
oxpor|onco. |o||y ho|pod ho|st mo |nto tho sadd|o, thon
mountod hor own horso, a s||vory an|ma| that took tho |oad
as wo joggod across tho tratt|c ot Contra| lark Wost and
ontorod a r|d|ng path dapp|od w|th |oavos donud|ng
broozos dancod about.
3oo? sho shoutod. lt's groat! And suddon|y |t was.
3uddon|y, watch|ng tho tang|od co|ors ot |o||y's ha|r t|ash |n
tho rod-yo||ow |oat ||ght, l |ovod hor onough to torgot myso|t,
my so|t-p|ty|ng dospa|rs, and bo contont that somoth|ng sho
thought happy was go|ng to happon. vory gont|y tho horsos
bogan to trot, wavos ot w|nd sp|ashod us, spankod our
tacos, wo p|ungod |n and out ot sun and shadow poo|s, and
joy, a g|ad-to-bo-a||vo oxh||arat|on, jo|tod through mo ||ko a
j|ggor ot n|trogon. 1hat was ono m|nuto, tho noxt |ntroducod
tarco |n gr|m d|sgu|so.
|or a|| at onco, ||ko savago mombors ot a jung|o
ambush, a band ot logro boys |oapt out ot tho shrubbory
a|ong tho path. |oot|ng, curs|ng, thoy |aunchod rocks and
thrashod at tho horso's rumps w|th sw|tchos.
V|no, tho b|ack and wh|to maro, roso on hor h|nd |ogs,
wh|nn|od, tootorod ||ko a t|ghtropo art|st, thon b|uo-stroakod
down tho path, bounc|ng my toot out ot tho st|rrups and
|oav|ng mo scarco|y attachod. |or hoovos mado tho gravo|
stonos sp|t sparks. 1ho sky caroonod. 1roos, a |ako w|th
||tt|o-boy sa||boats, statuos wont by ||ckotysp||t. lursoma|ds
rushod to roscuo tho|r chargos trom our awosomo
approach, mon, bums and othors, yo||od: lu|| |n tho ro|ns!
and Whoa, boy, whoa! and 1ump! lt was on|y |ator that l
romomborod thoso vo|cos, at tho t|mo l was s|mp|y
consc|ous ot |o||y, tho cowboy-sound ot hor rac|ng boh|nd
mo, novor qu|to catch|ng up, and ovor and ovor ca|||ng
oncouragomonts. Onward: across tho park and out |nto
||tth Avonuo: stampod|ng aga|nst tho noonday tratt|c, tax|s,
busos that scrooch|ng|y sworvod. last tho 0uko mans|on,
tho |r|ck Vusoum, past tho l|orro and tho l|aza. 3ut |o||y
ga|nod ground, moroovor, a mountod po||coman had jo|nod
ga|nod ground, moroovor, a mountod po||coman had jo|nod
tho chaso: t|ank|ng my runaway maro, ono on o|thor s|do,
tho|r horsos portormod a p|ncor movomont that brought hor
to a stoamy ha|t. lt was thon, at |ast, that l to|| ott hor back.
|o|| ott and p|ckod myso|t up and stood thoro, not
a|togothor corta|n whoro l was. A crowd gathorod. 1ho
po||coman huttod and wroto |n a book: prosont|y ho was
most sympathot|c, gr|nnod and sa|d ho wou|d arrango tor
our horsos to bo roturnod to tho|r stab|o.
|o||y put us |n a tax|. 0ar||ng. |ow do you too|?
||no.
3ut you havon't ooy pu|so, sho sa|d, too||ng my wr|st.
1hon l must bo doad.
lo, |d|ot. 1h|s |s sor|ous. look at mo.
1ho troub|o was, l cou|dn't soo hor, rathor, l saw sovora|
|o||y's, a tr|o ot swoaty tacos so wh|to w|th concorn that l
was both touchod and ombarrassod. |onost|y. l don't too|
anyth|ng. Excopt ashamod.
l|oaso. Aro you suro? 1o|| mo tho truth. You m|ght havo
boon k|||od.
3ut l wasn't. And thank you. |or sav|ng my ||to. You'ro
wondortu|. Un|quo. l |ovo you.
0amn too|. 3ho k|ssod mo on tho chook. 1hon thoro
woro tour ot hor, and l ta|ntod doad away.

1hat ovon|ng, photographs ot |o||y woro trontpagod by
tho |ato od|t|on ot tho 1ooroo|-Amorlcoo and by tho oar|y
od|t|ons ot both tho Lol|y Nows and tho Lol|y Vlrror. 1ho
pub||c|ty had noth|ng to do w|th runaway horsos. lt
concornod qu|to anothor mattor, as tho hoad||nos rovoa|od:
llAYGlll AllE31E0 ll lAlCO1lC3 3CAl0Al
(1ooroo|-Amorlcoo), AllE31 0OlE-3VUGGlllG
AC1lE33 (Lol|y Nows), 0lUG lllG EXlO3E0,
GlAVOUl Glll |El0 (Lol|y Vlrror).
Ot tho |ot, tho Nows pr|ntod tho most str|k|ng p|cturo:
|o||y, ontor|ng po||co hoadquartors, wodgod botwoon two
muscu|ar dotoct|vos, ono ma|o, ono toma|o. ln th|s squa||d
contoxt ovon hor c|othos (sho was st||| woar|ng hor r|d|ng
costumo, w|ndbroakor and b|uo joans) suggostod a gang-
mo|| hoo||gan: an |mpross|on dark g|assos, d|sarrayod
co|tturo and a l|cayuno c|garotto dang||ng trom su||on ||ps
d|d not d|m|n|sh. 1ho capt|on road: 7wooty-yoor-o|o lo||y
Oo|lgbt|y, boootlo| movlo stor|ot ooo coo socloty
co|obrlty L.A. o||ogos to bo koy lgoro lo lotorootlooo|
orog-smogg|log rockot |lokoo to rockotoor 5o|votoro
5o||y 7omoto. Lots. Potrlck Coooor ooo 5bol|ob
lozzooottl (L. ooo R.) oro sbowo oscortlog bor loto 07tb
5t. Procloct. 5oo story oo Pg. 8. 1ho story, toatur|ng a
photograph ot a man |dont|t|od as O||vor |athor
O'3haughnossy (sh|o|d|ng h|s taco w|th a todora), ran throo
tu|| co|umns. |oro, somowhat condonsod, aro tho port|nont
paragraphs: Vombors o coo socloty woro stooooo toooy
by tbo orrost o gorgooos lo||y Oo|lgbt|y, twooty-yoor-o|o
lo||ywooo stor|ot ooo blgb|y pob|lclzoo glr|-oboot-Now
York. At tbo somo tlmo, 2 P.V., po|lco oobboo O|lvor
O'5boogboossy, 52, o tbo loto| 5ooboro, . 40tb 5t., os
bo oxltoo rom o lomborg loovoo oo Voolsoo Avo. Botb
oro o||ogoo by Llstrlct Attorooy lrook L. Looovoo to bo
lmportoot lgoros lo oo lotorootlooo| orog rlog oomlootoo
by tbo ootorloos Volo-0bror 5o|votoro 5o||y 7omoto,
corroot|y lo 5log 5log sorvlog o lvo-yoor rop or po|ltlco|
brlbory ... O'5boogboossy, o oorockoo prlost vorloos|y
koowo lo crlmo|ooo clrc|os os lotbor ooo 7bo Pooro,
bos o blstory o orrosts ootlog bock to 1084, wboo bo
sorvoo two yoors or oporotlog o pbooy Rbooo ls|ooo
mooto| lostltotloo, 7bo Vooostory. Vlss Oo|lgbt|y, wbo
bos oo provloos crlmloo| rocoro, wos orrostoo lo bor
|oxorloos oportmoot ot o swook Eost 5loo oooross ...
A|tboogb tbo L.A.'s olco bos lssooo oo ormo| stotomoot,
rospooslb|o soorcos loslst tbo b|ooo ooo boootlo|
octross, oot |oog ogo tbo coostoot compooloo o
mo|tlml||looolro Rotbororo 7row|or, bos booo octlog os
|lolsoo botwooo tbo lmprlsoooo 7omoto ooo bls cblo-
|lootoooot, O'5boogboossy ... Poslog os o ro|otlvo o
7omoto's, Vlss Oo|lgbt|y ls solo to bovo polo wook|y vlslts
to 5log 5log, ooo oo tboso occosloos 7omoto sopp|loo
bor wltb vorbo||y coooo mossogos wblcb sbo tboo
troosmlttoo to O'5boogboossy. Vlo tbls |lok, 7omoto,
bo|lovoo to bovo booo boro lo Coo|o, 5lcl|y, lo 1874, wos
ob|o to koop lrstbooo cootro| o o wor|o-wloo oorcotlcs
syoolcoto wltb ootposts lo Voxlco, Cobo, 5lcl|y, 7ooglor,
7obroo ooo Lokor. Bot tbo L.A.'s olco roosoo to oor
ooy ootol| oo tboso o||ogotloos or ovoo vorly tbom ...
7lppoo o, o |orgo oombor o roportors woro oo booo ot
tbo E. 07tb 5t. Procloct stotloo wboo tbo occosoo polr
orrlvoo or booklog. O'5boogboossy, o bor|y roo-bolroo
moo, roosoo commoot ooo klckoo ooo comoromoo lo
tbo grolo. Bot Vlss Oo|lgbt|y, o rogl|o oyoo|, ovoo tboogb
ottlroo |lko o tomboy lo s|ocks ooo |ootbor jockot,
oppooroo ro|otlvo|y oocoocorooo. Loo't osk mo wbot tbo
bo|| tbls ls oboot, sbo to|o roportors. Porco-qoo 1o oo
sols pos, mos cbros. (Bocooso l oo oot koow, my ooors).
Yos -- l bovo vlsltoo 5o||y 7omoto. l osoo to go to soo blm
ovory wook. bot's wroog wltb tbot lo bo|lovos lo Ooo,
ooo so oo l. ...
1hon, undor tho subhoad|ng A0Vl13 OWl 0lUG
A00lC1lOl: Vlss Oo|lgbt|y sml|oo wboo o roportor oskoo
wbotbor or oot sbo borso| ls o oorcotlcs osor. l'vo boo o
|ltt|o go ot morljoooo. lt's oot bo| so oostroctlvo os broooy.
Cboopor, too. Uoortoooto|y, l proor broooy. No, Vr.
7omoto oovor mootloooo orogs to mo. lt mokos mo
orloos, tbo woy tboso wrotcboo poop|o koop porsocotlog
blm. lo's o soosltlvo, o ro|lgloos porsoo. A oor|log o|o
moo.
1horo |s ono ospoc|a||y gross orror |n th|s roport: sho
was not arrostod |n hor |uxur|ous apartmont. lt took p|aco
|n my own bathroom. l was soak|ng away my horso-r|do
pa|ns |n a tub ot sca|d|ng wator |acod w|th Epsom sa|ts,
|o||y, an attont|vo nurso, was s|tt|ng on tho odgo ot tho tub
wa|t|ng to rub mo w|th 3|oan's ||n|mont and tuck mo |nto
bod. 1horo was a knock at tho tront door. As tho door was
un|ockod, |o||y ca||od Como |n. ln camo Vadamo 3apph|a
3pano||a, tra||od by a pa|r ot c|v|||an-c|othod dotoct|vos, ono
ot thom a |ady w|th th|ck yo||ow bra|ds ropod round hor
hoad.
loro sho |s: tho wantod woman! boomod Vadamo
3pano||a, |nvad|ng tho bathroom and |ovo||ng a t|ngor, t|rst
at |o||y's, thon my nakodnoss. look. What a whoro sho
|s. 1ho ma|o dotoct|vo soomod ombarrassod: by Vadamo
3pano||a and by tho s|tuat|on, but a harsh onjoymont tonsod
tho taco ot h|s compan|on -- sho p|umpod a hand on |o||y's
shou|dor and, |n a surpr|s|ng baby-ch||d vo|co, sa|d: Como
a|ong, s|stor. You'ro go|ng p|acos. Whoroupon |o||y coo||y
to|d hor: Got thom cotton-p|ck|n' hands ott ot mo, you
droary, dr|vo||ng o|d bu||-dyko. Wh|ch rathor onragod tho
|ady: sho s|appod |o||y damnod hard. 3o hard, hor hoad
tw|stod on hor nock, and tho bott|o ot ||nomont, t|ung trom
hor hand, sm|thoroonod on tho t||o t|oor -- whoro l,
scampor|ng out ot tho tub to onr|ch tho tray, stoppod on |t
and a|| but sovorod both b|g toos. ludo and b|ood|ng a
path ot b|oody tootpr|nts, l to||owod tho act|on as tar as tho
ha||. 0on't torgot, |o||y managod to |nstruct mo as tho
dotoct|vos propo||od hor down tho sta|rs, p|oaso tood tho
cat.

Ot courso l bo||ovod Vadamo 3pano||a to b|amo: sho'd
sovora| t|mos ca||od tho author|t|os to comp|a|n about |o||y.
lt d|dn't occur to mo tho atta|r cou|d havo d|ro d|mons|ons
unt|| that ovon|ng whon 1oo 3o|| showod up t|our|sh|ng tho
nowspapors. |o was too ag|tatod to spoak sons|b|y, ho
carousod tho room h|tt|ng h|s t|sts togothor wh||o l road tho
accounts.
1hon ho sa|d: You th|nk |t's so? 3ho was m|xod up |n
th|s |ousy bus|noss?
Wo||, yos.
|o poppod a 1ums |n h|s mouth and, g|ar|ng at mo,
chowod |t as though ho woro crunch|ng my bonos. 3oy,
that's rotton. And you moant to bo hor tr|ond. What a
bastard!
1ust a m|nuto. l d|dn't say sho was |nvo|vod koowlog|y.
3ho wasn't. 3ut thoro, sho d|d do |t. Carry mossagos and
whatnot --
|o sa|d: 1ako |t protty ca|m, don't you? 1osus, sho
cou|d got ton yoars. Voro. |o yankod tho papors away
trom mo. You know hor tr|onds. 1hoso r|ch to||ows. Como
down to tho bar, wo'|| start phon|ng. Our g|r|'s go|ng to nood
tanc|or shystors than l can attord.
l was too soro and shaky to dross myso|t, 1oo 3o|| had to
ho|p. 3ack at h|s bar ho proppod mo |n tho to|ophono booth
w|th a tr|p|o mart|n| and a brandy tumb|or tu|| ot co|ns. 3ut l
cou|dn't th|nk who to contact. 1oso was |n Wash|ngton, and l
had no not|on whoro to roach h|m thoro. lusty 1raw|or? lot
that bastard! On|y: what othor tr|onds ot hors d|d l know?
lorhaps sho'd boon r|ght whon sho'd sa|d sho had nono,
not roa||y.
l put through a ca|| to Crostv|ow b-00b8 |n 3ovor|y ||||s,
tho numbor |ong-d|stanco |ntormat|on gavo mo tor O.1.
3orman. 1ho porson who answorod sa|d Vr. 3orman was
hav|ng a massago and cou|dn't bo d|sturbod: sorry, try |ator.
1oo 3o|| was |nconsod -- to|d mo l shou|d havo sa|d |t was a
||to and doath mattor, and ho |ns|stod on my try|ng lusty.
||rst, l spoko to Vr. 1raw|or's but|or -- Vr. and Vrs. 1raw|or,
ho announcod, woro at d|nnor and m|ght ho tako a
mossago? 1oo 3o|| shoutod |nto tho roco|vor: 1h|s |s
urgont, m|stor. l|to and doath. 1ho outcomo was that l
tound myso|t ta|k|ng -- ||ston|ng, rathor -- to tho tormor Vag
W||dwood: Aro you starkors? sho domandod. Vy
husband and l w||| pos|t|vo|y soo anyono who attompts to
connoct our namos w|th that ro-ro-rovo|t|ng and do-do-
dogooorato g|r|. l a|ways koow sho was a hop-hop-hoad
w|th no moro mora|s than a hound-b|tch |n hoat. lr|son |s
whoro sho bo|ongs. And my husband agroos ono thousand
porcont. Wo w||| pos|t|vo|y soo anyono who -- |ang|ng up,
l romomborod o|d 0oc down |n 1u||p, 1oxas, but no, |o||y
wou|dn't ||ko |t |t l ca||od h|m, sho'd k||| mo good.
l rang Ca||torn|a aga|n, tho c|rcu|ts woro busy, stayod
busy, and by tho t|mo O.1. 3orman was on tho ||no l'd
ompt|od so many mart|n|s ho had to to|| mo why l was
phon|ng h|m: About tho k|d, |s |t? l know a|roady. l spoko
a|roady to lggy ||to|sto|n. lggy's tho bost sh|ng|o |n low
York. l sa|d lggy you tako caro ot |t, sond mo tho b|||, on|y
koop my namo anonymous, soo. Wo||, l owo tho k|d
somoth|ng. lot that l owo hor anyth|ng, you want to como
down to |t. 3ho's crazy. A phony. 3ut a roo| phony, you
know? Anyway, thoy on|y got hor |n ton thousand ba||. 0on't
worry, lggy'|| spr|ng hor ton|ght -- |t wou|dn't surpr|so mo
sho's homo a|roady.

3ut sho wasn't, nor had sho roturnod tho noxt morn|ng
whon l wont down to tood hor cat. |av|ng no koy to tho
apartmont, l usod tho t|ro oscapo and ga|nod ontranco
through a w|ndow. 1ho cat was |n tho bodroom, and ho was
not a|ono: a man was thoro, crouch|ng ovor a su|tcaso. 1ho
two ot us, oach th|nk|ng tho othor a burg|ar, oxchangod
uncomtortab|o staros as l stoppod through tho w|ndow. |o
had a protty taco, |acquorod ha|r, ho rosomb|od 1oso,
moroovor, tho su|tcaso ho'd boon pack|ng conta|nod tho
wardrobo 1oso kopt at |o||y's, tho shoos and su|ts sho
tussod ovor, was a|ways cart|ng to mondors and c|oanors.
And l sa|d, corta|n |t was so: 0|d Vr. Ybarra-1aogar sond
you?
l am tho cous|n, ho sa|d w|th a wary gr|n and just-
ponotrab|o accont.
Whoro |s 1oso?
|o ropoatod tho quost|on, as though trans|at|ng |t |nto
anothor |anguago. Ah, wboro sho |s! 3ho |s wa|||ng, ho
sa|d and, soom|ng to d|sm|ss mo, rosumod h|s va|ot
act|v|t|os.
3o: tho d|p|omat was p|ann|ng a powdor. Wo||, l wasn't
amazod, or |n tho s||ghtost sorry. 3t|||, what a hoartbroak|ng
stunt: |o ought to bo horso-wh|ppod.
1ho cous|n g|gg|od, l'm suro ho undorstood mo. |o shut
tho su|tcaso and producod a |ottor. Vy cous|n, sho ask mo
|oavo that tor h|s chum. You w||| ob||go?
On tho onvo|opo was scr|bb|od: lor Vlss l. Oo|lgbt|y --
Coortosy Booror.
l sat down on |o||y's bod, and huggod |o||y's cat to mo,
and to|t as bad|y tor |o||y, ovory |ota, as sho cou|d too| tor
horso|t.
Yos, l w||| ob||go.

And l d|d: w|thout tho |oast want|ng to. 3ut l hadn't tho
courago to dostroy tho |ottor, or tho w||| powor to koop |t |n
my pockot whon |o||y vory tontat|vo|y |nqu|rod |t, |t by any
chanco, l'd had nows ot 1oso. lt was two morn|ngs |ator, l
was s|tt|ng by hor bods|do |n a room that rookod ot |od|no
and bodpans, a hosp|ta| room. 3ho had boon thoro s|nco
tho n|ght ot hor arrost. Wo||, dar||ng, sho'd grootod mo, as
l t|ptood toward hor carry|ng a carton ot l|cayuno
c|garottos and a whoo| ot now-autumn v|o|ots, l |ost tho
ho|r. 3ho |ookod not qu|to two|vo yoars: hor pa|o van|||a
ha|r brushod back, hor oyos, tor onco m|nus tho|r dark
g|assos, c|oar as ra|n wator -- ono cou|dn't bo||ovo how |||
sho'd boon.
Yot |t was truo: Chr|st, l noar|y coo|od. lo too||ng, tho tat
woman a|most had mo. 3ho was yakk|ng up a storm. l
guoss l cou|dn't havo to|d you about tho tat woman. 3|nco l
d|dn't know about hor myso|t unt|| my brothor d|od. l|ght
away l was wondor|ng whoro ho'd gono, what |t moant,
|rod's dy|ng, and thon l saw hor, sho was thoro |n tho room
w|th mo, and sho had |rod crad|od |n hor arms, a tat moan
rod b|tch rock|ng |n a rock|ng cha|r w|th |rod on hor |ap and
|augh|ng ||ko a brass band. 1ho mockory ot |t! 3ut |t's a||
that's ahoad tor us, my tr|ond: th|s comod|onno wa|t|ng to
g|vo you tho o|d razz. low do you soo why l wont crazy and
broko ovoryth|ng?
Excopt tor tho |awyor O.1. 3orman had h|rod, l was tho
on|y v|s|tor sho had boon a||owod. |or room was sharod by
othor pat|onts, a tr|o ot tr|p|ot-||ko |ad|os who, oxam|n|ng mo
w|th an |ntorost not unk|nd but tota|, spocu|atod |n
wh|sporod lta||an. |o||y oxp|a|nod that: 1hoy th|nk you'ro
my downta||, dar||ng. 1ho to||ow what dono mo wrong, and,
to a suggost|on that sho sot thom stra|ght, rop||od: l can't.
1hoy don't spoak Eng||sh. Anyway, l wou|dn't droam ot
spo|||ng tho|r tun. lt was thon that sho askod about 1oso.
1ho |nstant sho saw tho |ottor sho squ|ntod hor oyos and
bont hor ||ps |n a tough t|ny sm||o that advancod hor ago
|mmoasurab|y. 0ar||ng, sho |nstructod mo, wou|d you
roach |n tho drawor thoro and g|vo mo my purso. A g|r|
doosn't road th|s sort ot th|ng w|thout hor ||pst|ck.
Gu|dod by a compact m|rror, sho powdorod, pa|ntod
ovory vost|go ot two|vo-yoar-o|d out ot hor taco. 3ho
shapod hor ||ps w|th ono tubo, co|orod hor chooks trom
anothor. 3ho ponc||od tho r|ms ot hor oyos, b|uod tho ||ds,
spr|nk|od hor nock w|th 4711, attachod poar|s to hor oars
and donnod hor dark g|assos, thus armorod, and attor a
d|sp|oasod appra|sa| ot hor man|curo's shabby cond|t|on,
sho r|ppod opon tho |ottor and |ot hor oyos raco through |t
wh||o hor stony sma|| sm||o grow sma||or and hardor.
Evontua||y sho askod tor a l|cayuno. 1ook a putt: 1astos
bum. 3ut d|v|no, sho sa|d and, toss|ng mo tho |ottor:
Vaybo th|s w||| como |n handy -- |t you ovor wr|to a rat-
romanco. 0on't bo hoggy: road |t a|oud. l'd ||ko to hoar |t
myso|t.
lt bogan: Vy doarost ||tt|o g|r| --
|o||y at onco |ntorruptod. 3ho wantod to know what l
thought ot tho handwr|t|ng. l thought noth|ng: a t|ght, h|gh|y
|og|b|o, unoccontr|c scr|pt. lt's h|m to a 1. 3uttonod up and
const|patod, sho doc|arod. Go on.
Vy doarost ||tt|o g|r|, l havo |ovod you know|ng you woro
not as othors. 3ut conco|vo ot my dospa|r upon d|scovor|ng
|n such a bruta| and pub||c sty|o how vory d|ttoront you aro
trom tho mannor ot woman a man ot my ta|th and caroor
cou|d hopo to mako h|s w|to. vor||y l gr|ot tor tho d|sgraco
ot your prosont c|rcumstanco, and do not t|nd |t |n my hoart
to add my condomn to tho condomn that surrounds you. 3o
l hopo you w||| t|nd |t |n your hoart not to condomn mo. l havo
my tam||y to protoct, and my namo, and l am a coward
whoro thoso |nst|tut|ons ontor. |orgot mo, boaut|tu| ch||d. l
am no |ongor horo. l am gono homo. 3ut may God a|ways
bo w|th you and your ch||d. Vay God bo not tho samo as --
1oso.
Wo||?
ln a way |t sooms qu|to honost. And ovon touch|ng.
7oocblog 1hat squaro-ba|| jazz!
3ut attor a||, ho soys ho's a coward, and trom h|s po|nt
ot v|ow, you must soo --
|o||y, howovor, d|d not want to adm|t that sho saw, yot
hor taco, dosp|to |ts cosmot|c d|sgu|so, contossod |t. A||
r|ght, ho's not a rat w|thout roason. A supor-s|zod, K|ng
Kong-typo rat ||ko lusty. 3onny 3hack|ott. 3ut oh goo, go||y
goddamn, sho sa|d, jamm|ng a t|st |nto hor mouth ||ko a
baw||ng baby, l olo |ovo h|m. 1ho rat.
1ho lta||an tr|o |mag|nod a |ovor's crlso and, p|ac|ng tho
b|amo tor |o||y's groan|ngs whoro thoy to|t |t bo|ongod, tut-
tuttod tho|r tonguos at mo. l was t|attorod: proud that anyono
shou|d th|nk |o||y carod tor mo. 3ho qu|otod whon l ottorod
hor anothor c|garotto. 3ho swa||owod and sa|d: 3|oss you,
3ustor. And b|oss you tor bo|ng such a bad jockoy. lt l
hadn't had to p|ay Ca|am|ty 1ano l'd st||| bo |ook|ng torward
to tho grub |n an unwod mama's homo. 3tronuous oxorc|so,
that's what d|d tho tr|ck. 3ut l'vo scarod |o moroo out ot tho
who|o badgo-dopartmont by say|ng |t was bocauso V|ss
0ykoroo s|appod mo. Yoss|r, l can suo thom on sovora|
counts, |nc|ud|ng ta|so arrost.
Unt|| thon, wo'd sk|rtod mont|on ot hor moro s|n|stor
tr|bu|at|ons, and th|s jost|ng rotoronco to thom soomod
appa|||ng, pathot|c, so dot|n|to|y d|d |t rovoa| how |ncapab|o
sho was ot rocogn|z|ng tho b|oak roa||t|os botoro hor. low,
|o||y, l sa|d, th|nk|ng: bo strong, maturo, an unc|o. low,
|o||y. Wo can't troat |t as a joko. Wo havo to mako p|ans.
You'ro too young to bo stutty. 1oo sma||. 3y tho way,
what bus|noss |s |t ot yours?
lono. Excopt you'ro my tr|ond, and l'm worr|od. l moan
to know what you |ntond do|ng.
3ho rubbod hor noso, and concontratod on tho co|||ng.
1oday's Wodnosday, |sn't |t? 3o l supposo l'|| s|oop unt||
3aturday, roa||y got a good scb|ooo. 3aturday morn|ng l'||
sk|p out to tho bank. 1hon l'|| stop by tho apartmont and p|ck
up a n|ghtgown or two and my Va|nbochor. |o||ow|ng
wh|ch, l'|| roport to ld|ow||d. Whoro, as you damn wo|| know, l
havo a portoct|y t|no rosorvat|on on a portoct|y t|no p|ano.
And s|nco you'ro such a tr|ond l'|| |ot you wavo mo ott.
P|ooso stop shak|ng your hoad.
|o||y. |o||y. You can't do that.
Et poorqool pos? l'm not hot-toot|ng attor 1oso, |t that's
what you supposo. Accord|ng to my consus, ho's str|ct|y a
c|t|zon ot l|mbov|||o. lt's on|y: why shou|d l wasto a portoct|y
t|no t|ckot? A|roady pa|d tor? 3os|dos, l'vo novor boon to
3raz||.
1ust what k|nd ot p|||s havo thoy boon tood|ng you horo?
Can't you roa||zo, you'ro undor a cr|m|na| |nd|ctmont. lt thoy
catch you jump|ng ba||, thoy'|| throw away tho koy. Evon |t
you got away w|th |t, you'|| novor bo ab|o to como homo.
Wo||, so, tough t|tty. Anyway, homo |s whoro you too| at
homo. l'm st||| |ook|ng.
lo, |o||y, |t's stup|d. You'ro |nnocont. You'vo got to st|ck
|t out.
3ho sa|d, lah, toam, rah, and b|ow smoko |n my taco.
3ho was |mprossod, howovor, hor oyos woro d||atod by
unhappy v|s|ons, as woro m|no: |ron rooms, stoo| corr|dors
ot gradua||y c|os|ng doors. Oh, scrow |t, sho sa|d, and
stabbod out hor c|garotto. l havo a ta|r chanco thoy woo't
catch mo. lrov|dod yoo koop your boocbo ormoz. look.
0on't dosp|so mo, dar||ng. 3ho put hor hand ovor m|no
and prossod |t w|th suddon |mmonso s|ncor|ty. l havon't
much cho|co. l ta|kod |t ovor w|th tho |awyor: oh, l d|dn't to||
blm anyth|ng rogorolog l|o -- ho'd t|p tho badgors h|mso|t,
rathor than |oso h|s too, to say noth|ng ot tho n|cko|s O.1.
put up tor ba||. 3|oss O.1.'s hoart, but onco on tho coast l
ho|pod h|m w|n moro than ton thou |n a s|ng|o pokor hand:
wo'ro squaro. lo, horo's tho roa| shako: a|| tho badgors
want trom mo |s a coup|o ot troo grabs and my sorv|cos as
a stato's w|tnoss aga|nst 3a||y -- nobody has any |ntont|on
ot prosocut|ng mo, thoy havon't a ghost ot a caso. Wo||, l
may bo rotton to tho coro, Vaudo, bot: tost|ty aga|nst a
tr|ond l w||| not. lot |t thoy can provo ho dopod 3|stor
Konny. Vy yardst|ck |s how somobody troats mo, and o|d
3a||y, a|| r|ght ho wasn't abso|uto|y wh|to w|th mo, say ho
took a s||ght advantago, just tho samo 3a||y's an okay
shootor, and l'd |ot tho tat woman snatch mo soonor than
ho|p tho |aw-boys p|n h|m down. 1||t|ng hor compact m|rror
abovo hor taco, smooth|ng hor ||pst|ck w|th a crookod
p|nk|o, sho sa|d: And to bo honost, that |sn't a||. Corta|n
shados ot ||mo||ght wrock a g|r|'s comp|ox|on. Evon |t a jury
gavo mo tho lurp|o |oart, th|s no|ghborhood ho|ds no
tuturo: thoy'd st||| havo up ovory ropo trom laluo to
lorona's 3ar and Gr||| -- tako my word, l'd bo about as
wo|como as Vr. |rank E. Campbo||. And |t you ||vod ott my
part|cu|ar ta|onts, Cook|o, you'd undorstand tho k|nd ot
bankruptcy l'm doscr|b|ng. Uh, uh, l don't just tancy a tado-
out that t|nds mo bo||y-bump|ng around loso|and w|th a
pack ot Wost 3|do h|||b||||os. Wh||o tho oxco||ont Vadamo
1raw|or sashayos hor twat |n and out ot 1|ttany's. l cou|dn't
tako |t. G|vo mo tho tat woman any day.
A nurso, sott-shoo|ng |nto tho room, adv|sod that v|s|t|ng
hours woro ovor. |o||y startod to comp|a|n, and was
curta||od by hav|ng a thormomotor poppod |n hor mouth.
3ut as l took |oavo, sho unstopporod horso|t to say: 0o mo
a tavor, dar||ng. Ca|| up tho 7lmos, or whatovor you ca||,
and got a ||st ot tho t|tty r|chost mon |n 3raz||. l'm oot
k|dd|ng. 1ho t|tty r|chost: rogard|oss ot raco or co|or.
Anothor tavor -- poko around my apartmont t||| you t|nd that
moda| you gavo mo. 1ho 3t. Chr|stophor. l'|| nood |t tor tho
tr|p.

1ho sky was rod |r|day n|ght, |t thundorod, and 3aturday,
dopart|ng day, tho c|ty swayod |n a squa||-||ko downpour.
3harks m|ght havo swum through tho a|r, though |t soomod
|mprobab|o a p|ano cou|d ponotrato |t.
3ut |o||y, |gnor|ng my choortu| conv|ct|on that hor t||ght
wou|d not go, cont|nuod hor proparat|ons -- p|ac|ng, l must
say, tho ch|ot burdon ot thom on mo. |or sho had doc|dod |t
wou|d bo unw|so ot hor to como noar tho brownstono. Ou|to
r|ght|y, too: |t was undor survo|||anco, whothor by po||co or
roportors or othor |ntorostod part|os ono cou|dn't to|| --
s|mp|y a man, somot|mos mon, who hung around tho stoop.
3o sho'd gono trom tho hosp|ta| to a bank and stra|ght thon
to 1oo 3o||'s 3ar. 3ho don't t|guro sho was to||owod, 1oo
3o|| to|d mo whon ho camo w|th a mossago that |o||y
wantod mo to moot hor thoro as soon as poss|b|o, a ha|t-
hour at most, br|ng|ng: |or jowo|ry. |or gu|tar.
1oothbrushos and stutt. And a bott|o ot hundrod-yoar-o|d
brandy: sho says you'|| t|nd |t h|d down |n tho bottom ot tho
d|rty-c|othos baskot. Yoah, oh, and tho cat. 3ho wants tho
cat. 3ut ho||, ho sa|d, l don't know wo shou|d ho|p hor at
a||. 3ho ought to bo protoctod aga|nst horso|t. Vo, l too| ||ko
to|||ng tho cops. Vaybo |t l go back and bu||d hor somo
dr|nks, maybo l can got hor drunk onough to ca|| |t ott.
3tumb||ng, sk|dd|ng up and down tho t|ro oscapo
botwoon |o||y's apartmont and m|no, w|nd-b|own and
w|ndod and wot to tho bono (c|awod to tho bono as wo||, tor
tho cat had not |ookod tavorab|y upon ovacuat|on,
ospoc|a||y |n such |nc|omont woathor) l managod a tast,
t|rst-rato job ot assomb||ng hor go|ng-away bo|ong|ngs. l
ovon tound tho 3t. Chr|stophor's moda|. Evoryth|ng was
p||od on tho t|oor ot my room, a po|gnant pyram|d ot
brass|oros and danc|ng s||ppors and protty th|ngs l packod
|n |o||y's on|y su|tcaso. 1horo was a mass |ott ovor that l
had to put |n papor grocory bags. l cou|dn't th|nk how to
carry tho cat, unt|| l thought ot stutt|ng h|m |n a p|||owcaso.
lovor m|nd why, but onco l wa|kod trom low Or|oans to
lancy's land|ng, V|ss|ss|pp|, just undor t|vo hundrod m||os.
lancy's land|ng, V|ss|ss|pp|, just undor t|vo hundrod m||os.
lt was a ||ght-hoartod |ark comparod to tho journoy to 1oo
3o||'s bar. 1ho gu|tar t|||od w|th ra|n, ra|n sottonod tho papor
sacks, tho sacks sp||t and portumo sp|||od on tho
pavomont, poar|s ro||od |n tho guttor: wh||o tho w|nd pushod
and tho cat scratchod, tho cat scroamod -- but worso, l was
tr|ghtonod, a coward to oqua| 1oso: thoso storm|ng stroots
soomod aswarm w|th unsoon prosoncos wa|t|ng to trap,
|mpr|son mo tor a|d|ng an out|aw.
1ho out|aw sa|d: You'ro |ato, 3ustor. 0|d you br|ng tho
brandy?
And tho cat, ro|oasod, |oapod and porchod on hor
shou|dor: h|s ta|| swung ||ko a baton conduct|ng rhapsod|c
mus|c. |o||y, too, soomod |nhab|tod by mo|ody, somo
bouncy boo voyogo oompahpah. Uncork|ng tho brandy,
sho sa|d: 1h|s was moant to bo part ot my hopo chost. 1ho
|doa was, ovory ann|vorsary wo'd havo a sw|g. 1hank 1osus
l novor bought tho chost. Vr. 3o||, s|r, throo g|assos.
You'|| on|y nood two, ho to|d hor. l won't dr|nk to your
too||shnoss.
1ho moro sho cajo|od h|m (Ah, Vr. 3o||. 1ho |ady
doosn't van|sh ovory day. Won't you toast hor?), tho gruttor
ho was: l'|| havo no part ot |t. lt you'ro go|ng to ho||, you'|| go
on your own. W|th no turthor ho|p trom mo. An |naccurato
statomont: bocauso soconds attor ho'd mado |t a
chauttourod ||mous|no drow up outs|do tho bar, and |o||y,
tho t|rst to not|co |t, put down hor brandy, archod hor
oyobrows, as though sho oxpoctod to soo tho 0|str|ct
Attornoy h|mso|t a||ght. 3o d|d l. And whon l saw 1oo 3o||
b|ush, l had to th|nk: by God, ho olo ca|| tho po||co. 3ut thon,
w|th burn|ng oars, ho announcod: lt's noth|ng. Ono ot thom
Caroy Cad|||acs. l h|rod |t. 1o tako you to tho a|rport.
|o turnod h|s back on us to t|dd|o w|th ono ot h|s t|owor
arrangomonts. |o||y sa|d: K|nd, doar Vr. 3o||. look at mo,
s|r.

|o wou|dn't. |o wronchod tho t|owors trom tho vaso and
thrust thom at hor, thoy m|ssod tho|r mark, scattorod on tho
t|oor. Good-byo, ho sa|d, and, as though ho woro go|ng to
vom|t, scurr|od to tho mon's room. Wo hoard tho door |ock.
1ho Caroy chauttour was a wor|dy spoc|mon who
accoptod our s|apdash |uggago most c|v|||y and roma|nod
rock-tacod whon, as tho ||mous|no sw|shod uptown through
a |osson|ng ra|n, |o||y str|ppod ott hor c|othos, tho r|d|ng
costumo sho'd novor had a chanco to subst|tuto, and
strugg|od |nto a s||m b|ack dross. Wo d|dn't ta|k: ta|k cou|d
havo on|y |od to argumont, and a|so, |o||y soomod too
prooccup|od tor convorsat|on. 3ho hummod to horso|t,
sw|ggod brandy, sho |oanod constant|y torward to poor out
tho w|ndows, as |t sho woro hunt|ng an addross -- or, l
doc|dod, tak|ng a |ast |mpross|on ot a scono sho wantod to
romombor. lt was no|thor ot thoso. 3ut th|s: 3top horo,
sho ordorod tho dr|vor, and wo pu||od to tho curb ot a stroot
|n 3pan|sh |ar|om. A savago, a gar|sh, a moody
no|ghborhood gar|andod w|th postor-portra|ts ot mov|o
stars and Vadonnas. 3|dowa|k ||ttor|ngs ot tru|t-r|nd and
rottod nowspapor woro hur|od about by tho w|nd, tor tho
w|nd st||| boomod, though tho ra|n had hushod and thoro
woro bursts ot b|uo |n tho sky.
|o||y stoppod out ot tho car, sho took tho cat w|th hor.
Crad||ng h|m, sho scratchod h|s hoad and askod. What do
you th|nk? 1h|s ought to bo tho r|ght k|nd ot p|aco tor a
tough guy ||ko you. Garbago cans. lats ga|oro. l|onty ot
cat-bums to gang around w|th. 3o scram, sho sa|d,
dropp|ng h|m, and whon ho d|d not movo away, |nstoad
ra|sod h|s thug-taco and quost|onod hor w|th yo||ow|sh
p|rato-oyos, sho stampod hor toot: l sa|d boat |t! |o
rubbod aga|nst hor |og. l sa|d tuck ott! sho shoutod, thon
jumpod back |n tho car, s|ammod tho door, and: Go, sho
to|d tho dr|vor. Go. Go.
l was stunnod. Wo||, you oro. You oro a b|tch.
Wo'd travo|od a b|ock botoro sho rop||od. l to|d you. Wo
just mot by tho r|vor ono day: that's a||. lndopondonts, both
ot us. Wo novor mado oach othor any prom|sos. Wo novor -
- sho sa|d, and hor vo|co co||apsod, a t|c, an |nva||d
wh|tonoss so|zod hor taco. 1ho car had pausod tor a tratt|c
||ght. 1hon sho had tho door opon, sho was runn|ng down
tho stroot, and l ran attor hor.
3ut tho cat was not at tho cornor whoro ho'd boon |ott.
1horo was no ono, noth|ng on tho stroot oxcopt a ur|nat|ng
drunk and two logro nuns hord|ng a t||o ot swoot-s|ng|ng
ch||dron. Othor ch||dron omorgod trom doorways and |ad|os
|oanod ovor tho|r w|ndow s|||s to watch as |o||y dartod up
and down tho b|ock, ran back and torth chant|ng: You. Cat.
Whoro aro you? |oro, cat. 3ho kopt |t up unt|| a bumpy-
sk|nnod boy camo torward dang||ng an o|d tom by tho scrutt
ot |ts nock: You wants a n|co k|tty, m|ss? G|mmo a do||ar.
1ho ||mous|no had to||owod us. low |o||y |ot mo stoor
hor toward |t. At tho door, sho hos|tatod, sho |ookod past
mo, past tho boy st||| ottor|ng h|s cat (|a|ta do||ar. 1wo-
b|ts, maybo? 1wo-b|ts, |t a|n't much), and sho shuddorod,
sho had to gr|p my arm to stand up: Oh, 1osus God. Wo
d|d bo|ong to oach othor. |o was m|no.
1hon l mado hor a prom|so, l sa|d l'd como back and t|nd
hor cat: l'|| tako caro ot h|m, too. l prom|so.
3ho sm||od: that choor|oss now p|nch ot a sm||o. 3ut
what about mo? sho sa|d, wh|sporod, and sh|vorod aga|n.
l'm vory scarod, 3ustor. Yos, at |ast. 3ocauso |t cou|d go
on torovor. lot know|ng what's yours unt|| you'vo thrown |t
away. 1ho moan rods, thoy'ro noth|ng. 1ho tat woman, sho
noth|ng. 1h|s, though: my mouth's so dry, |t my ||to
dopondod on |t l cou|dn't sp|t. 3ho stoppod |n tho car, sank
|n tho soat. 3orry, dr|vor. lot's go.

1OVA1O'3 1OVA1O Vl33llG. And: 0lUG-CA3E
AC1lE33 3EllEvE0 GAlGlAl0 vlC1lV. ln duo t|mo,
howovor, tho pross roportod: |lEEllG llAYGlll
1lACE0 1O llO. Apparont|y no attompt was mado by
Amor|can author|t|os to rocovor hor, and soon tho mattor
d|m|n|shod to an occas|ona| goss|p-co|umn mont|on, as a
nows story, |t was rov|vod on|y onco: on Chr|stmas 0ay,
whon 3a||y 1omato d|od ot a hoart attack at 3|ng 3|ng.
Vonths wont by, a w|ntor ot thom, and not a word trom
|o||y. 1ho ownor ot tho brownstono so|d hor abandonod
possoss|ons, tho wh|to-sat|n bod, tho tapostry, hor proc|ous
Goth|c cha|r, a now tonant acqu|rod tho apartmont, h|s
namo was Oua|ntanco 3m|th, and ho ontorta|nod as many
gont|omon ca||ors ot a no|sy naturo as |o||y ovor had --
though |n th|s |nstanco Vadamo 3pano||a d|d not objoct,
|ndood sho dotod on tho young man and supp||od t||ot
m|gnon whonovor ho had a b|ack oyo. 3ut |n tho spr|ng a
postcard camo: |t was scr|bb|od |n ponc||, and s|gnod w|th
a ||pst|ck k|ss: Brozl| wos boost|y bot Boooos Alros tbo
bost. Not 7looy's, bot o|most. Am jolooo ot tbo blp wltb
oobvloo $ooor. Lovo 7blok so. Aoyboo om |ooklog or
oobvloo $ooor. Lovo 7blok so. Aoyboo om |ooklog or
somowboro to |lvo ($ooor bos wlo, 7 brots) ooo wl|| |ot yoo
koowoooross wboo l koowlt myso|. Vl||o tooorosso. 3ut
tho addross, |t |t ovor ox|stod, novor was sont, wh|ch mado
mo sad, thoro was so much l wantod to wr|to hor: that l'd
so|o two stor|os, had road whoro tho 1raw|ors woro
countorsu|ng tor d|vorco, was mov|ng out ot tho brownstono
bocauso |t was hauntod. 3ut most|y, l wantod to to|| hor
about hor cat. l had kopt my prom|so, l had tound h|m. lt
took wooks ot attor-work roam|ng through thoso 3pan|sh
|ar|om stroots, and thoro woro many ta|so a|arms -- t|ashos
ot t|gor-str|pod tur that, upon |nspoct|on, woro not h|m. 3ut
ono day, ono co|d sunsh|ny 3unday w|ntor attornoon, |t was.
||ankod by pottod p|ants and tramod by c|oan |aco curta|ns,
ho was soatod |n tho w|ndow ot a warm-|ook|ng room: l
wondorod what h|s namo was, tor l was corta|n ho had ono
now, corta|n ho'd arr|vod somowhoro ho bo|ongod. Atr|can
hut or whatovor, l hopo |o||y has, too.