Trinity- Acting

Contemporary- Serious Rosalind- Deborah Gearing Character: Esther-early 20s

I flunked it, Joe. Not because of that boy, I lost my concentration. I was too tired or something and somebody coughed. And it was you Joe, you coughed, I looked and you looked just like Dad. And I felt this terrible- whoosh and I missed Dad, it went right through me. Its funny how things can flash through your mind sometimes, how quickly you can think. Its like three films at once, all playing at once. I thought so many things in 30 seconds. I remembered telling everyone I wanted to be scientist at tea one day. And they all laughed and said, you could be a doctor thatll be good a doctor in the family. And I said, no, I want to be a research scientist, I want to work in labs and do experiments. And dad said, Thatll be useful, wont it? Is that useful? and seeing you sitting in the audience coughing just like dad and I couldnt believe hed gone. It was like he was there in the room. Then I remembered coming home from school and seeing Gran sitting there, crying. Id never seen Gran cry before. And it was creepy quiet, no radio; she always had the radio on, crying for her boy. My dad. Hed had a massive heart attack and his heart had given way, his poor heart. And then you come home and she had to tell it all over again, but it didnt change the way she told it, it was as if there arent any other words. There just arent any other words. My boy, she said, my boy. So seeing you sitting in the audience coughing just like dad and I suddenly missed him and it was quiet around me and I was far away. And I didnt care about winning, I just didnt care. I just wanted dad back.